Monthly Archives: July 2020

Monday Morning Coffee



July 27, 2020

We finally have sports to talk about here on Jock Talk LA since sports are back! The Lakers got a couple of scrimmages under their belt in the Orlando bubble, and they look like they are still just as good as they were before COVID. Lebron says it’s like an AAU tournament for adults. Maybe, but if it was a real AAU tournament, Lavar Ball would be in the stands annoying parents and referees. It is really weird seeing announcers do play-by-play of the games in a a remote studio. James Worthy wolfing down an egg sandwich during Saturday’s broadcast really makes him a good candidate for the broadcasters wing of the Hall of Fame. One thing about Lebron though: he’s this year’s MVP. Yes I know that Giannis has been great, but nobody has had the circumstances to deal with that Lebron has. New coach nobody thought was going to succeed; entirely brand new roster, and the most popular player in franchise history tragically died. All that and his team is at the top of the West, a conference that is more competitive top to bottom than the East. Put your analytics away and vote for Lebron.

Then there’s the Clippers, who are now dealing with turmoil. Lou Williams excused absence to attend a funeral included a stop at The strip club. Not just any strip club: The Magic City in Atlanta. This is proof of what I’ve been telling you all along: the Clippers don’t like each other. Everybody knows Kawhi has a strip club in his Presidential Suite in Orlando, so obviously he wasn’t willing to share with his teammates. I can just see him pleading his case to Adam Silver that the strippers developed herd immunity, or that the transactions were “contactless” since the strippers had credit card swipers in their butt cracks. Now it’s going to cost Lou 2 games and some money. Alex Caruso of the Lakers was not willing to leave the bubble for his sister’s wedding. Meanwhile, Lou is leaving the bubble to get some ass and some chicken wings at a strip club. This is the team some of you think is going to win an NBA title. Their chemistry still needs to be ironed out, and it’s tough to build that with 8 games left, and 4 of their rotation players out of the bubble for whatever “excused absences” they have.

To baseball where the Dodgers split 4 games with the Giants to open the season. Not a very inspiring start but no need to panic yet. I’m not sure what the big deal is about not having fans in the stands though. I wouldn’t want to be within 6 feet of a Giants fan under any circumstances anyway. I think the Dodgers will be good, but this idea that the team has no weakness is laughable, and also tells me that whoever says that has not been paying attention for the past 7 postseasons. Since 2013, the Dodgers bullpen has been their downfall in the postseason. It’s not Clayton Kershaw, or any problems with the offense. It’s the over extending of certain players because they have no trustworthy middle relievers. That’s still the case until further notice. Nevertheless, I’m happy to see that they were able to re-sign Mookie Betts to a long-term deal. I’ve gotta hand it to Andrew Friedman, who I have criticized to the max on Jock Talk LA. He made a bold move, and the fact he actually gave out a long-term deal to somebody proved me wrong. He gets a full week of me not criticizing him.

As for the Angels, it’s been rocky first 3 games against the A’s. The Halos will try to salvage a split of their first series this afternoon. Shohei Ohtani was about as effective as Dr. Fauci on the mound yesterday. He was very rusty, but the Halos need to hope he can get his game back quickly. They need as much reliable pitching as they can get. They could also really use Anthony Rendon back in their lineup. Rendon has a nagging oblique injury and no word on his status yet. It’s almost like the A’s just said “screw it” and let their fans in, because the stands were just about as empty as they always are at the Oakland Coliseum.

As I alluded to earlier, Dr. Anthony Fauci threw out the first pitch of the Nationals-Yankees game on Thursday night in DC. I’ve seen a lot of terrible first pitches, but this was maybe the worst of all-time. Perhaps Fauci had too much hand sanitizer on his hands? If nothing else, you have to give credit to the man for making sure nobody catches anything.

Antonio Brown has announced that he is retiring from the NFL. That’s cute. On that note, I’d like to take this opportunity to announce that I am pulling out of the running to date Jennifer Anniston, as well as the opportunity to host Jeopardy. I’m not even entirely convinced he’s not still trying to come back. This guy lies so much, even Donald Trump thinks he’s not credible. It’s really amazing that Mike Tomlin was able to keep his crazy under wraps for so long. If Brown really is done, here’s a picture of him hanging up his cleats.

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Finally, the Redskins are really changing their name temporarily to “The Washington Football Team.” They had all this time to come up with something, and they settled on a placeholder name? How long did that marketing meeting last? I guess when people don’t have a racist history to steal from, their lack of creativity really shows itself as a hot mess. However, The Washington “Football Team” could be rather offensive to actual football teams given the teams performance the last 20 years.

Monday Morning Coffee

July 20, 2020

The return of the NBA is almost here, but in the meantime, we are learning all kinds of interesting things about The Bubble. Clippers forward Montrezl Harrell says he is going to write “How Many More?” on the back of his jersey. This could mean a lot of things. If I had to guess, this means how many more NBA hoes from Instagram is he going to sneak into the bubble? We know he’s the only one that follows some woman on Instagram named Anna Mya. Of course Harrell denied it on Twitter, but this is just about as suspect as anything Fox News or CNN says these days. This is just a reminder that some guys within The Bubble are going to be selfish and threaten to bring down the the whole thing, simply because they can’t keep it in their pants for a few weeks. I guess some people will do anything to make sure Lebron doesn’t get another ring. All joking aside, I know Montrezl had to leave The Bubble to attend to a family emergency, so hope all is ok with his family on that end.

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Speaking of protecting the sanctity of The Bubble, you’ve probably heard by now there is an NBA snitch hotline to report violations in The Bubble. I’m sure when Chris Paul keeps calling the line to rat out every player, he’ll have to sit through a recording that says “press 1 to report inappropriate booty calls, press 2 to report not wearing mask, press 3 for improper Postmates deliveries, Press 4 for unscheduled haircuts, Press 5 to report any violations by a Laker player.” We all know that Patrick Beverly looks like a crack dealer, so pretty soon somebody is going to report him for dealing. Someone already snitched on Dwight Howard for not wearing a mask in public, and we’re already wondering who it is. I wouldn’t be shocked if it was Doc Rivers, who was joking around that he plans on reporting tons of violations until his team is the only one left standing. What makes this so hilarious is that Doc is actually the kind of guy to do this, so I wouldn’t put it past him at all. Doc would do everybody dirty if he had the chance.

Meanwhile in the NFL, it’s going down in DC! Everyone thought we were just going to hear about a new name change. Instead, we get to hear about sexual harassment in the workplace from a bunch of clueless employees, and even more rumors about sex parties and drugs surrounding Coach Jay Gruden. You may recall that Patriots Owner Bob Kraft was involved in some prostitution a couple of years ago, except nobody seemed to care because his team was winning games. I guess people will actually care about this one since the Redskins have been terrible for a long time. As for the name change, I personally like the name “The Washington Foreskins”, as a tribute to all the dicks that are politicians in DC. This one is quite fitting as well:

To College Football, where we’re still trying to figure out if we’re having a season or not. In the meantime, The Athletic provided some more perspective on Clay Helton’s job security for those USC fans that were hoping that he would be fired sometime soon. The University is facing a $300-500 million operating shortfall through June of 2021, which makes a $20 million buyout for Helton and his staff difficult to swallow. That means that if there is a football season, the Trojans are going to have to move forward with Helton and his staff. The NCAA said that if there’s games, they might limited to “essential personnel”. I guess that means Helton can sit this season out. That big operating shortfall is the result of the fallout from the Gynecologist scandal, the admissions scandal, and the FBI investigation of the college basketball program. USC says they were already planning on reduced capacity this season at the Coliseum. However, didn’t they already plan on that when they decided to bring back Helton?

If there’s one thing this pandemic has exposed, it’s what kind of poor leadership exists across so many different organizations. The latest to be exposed is NCAA President, Mark Emmert. We’re just weeks away from what would be the start of the College Football season, and we’re still wondering if there’s going to be a season or not. Meanwhile, Emmert just emerged from a witness protection program last week to tell us “there is a problem”. That’s like a weather man telling us it’s raining when there’s a hurricane outside. What a worthless leader. It’s pretty hard to be transparent with people when you’re already one of the most corrupt organizations in the country, which is part of the problem here. However, it’s amazing that the President of the NCAA is incapable of unifying every single conference President, helping determine what exactly the plan is for college sports in the next 12 months, and if there are contingency plans in place.

Imagine if if you worked for a company that told you “Ok guys, see you in the office next Monday at 8 am,” and didn’t even mention anything about the virus or health and safety protocols going into work. You would probably think your employer doesn’t give a damn about you. That’s exactly what the NFL owners are doing. Considering we already thought NFL owners didn’t give a damn about the health and safety of their players in the first place, this really isn’t much of a surprise. According to JJ Watt, what the players are asking for isn’t very much either. At this point it’s just common decency.

Finally, the next time you read Monday Morning Coffee, you will have actually have seen the return of the MLB and the start of NBA exhibition games. It’s so close I can taste it. It’s so close, yet I’m still nervous they won’t be able to pull it off. Nevertheless, I’m dying for it to come back, not just because it’s therapeutic for all of us in the entertainment it will provide, but more than anything it’s unifying. Perhaps once it returns, we won’t have to politicize everything. Then again, perhaps that’s wishful thinking since everything in 2020 is political.

Monday Morning Coffee

July 13, 2020

The latest Woj Bomb was one I don’t think any of us saw coming. He told Missouri GOP Senator Josh Hawley to F-off after he called out the league for their soft stance on China. This is hilarious because it’s the most fake suspension and slap on the wrist I’ve ever seen. It’s also easy to suspend him when there’s no NBA news to report. ESPN might as well be CNN or MSNBC these days, which is why I can’t wait for sports to come back. I don’t blame Woj for doing what he did because he bought himself a lot of equity with all his NBA sources, and the entire league. He knows where his bread is buttered, and he doubled down on it. That’s smart. However, don’t try to tell me the guy is objective, or that there’s any objectivity left in reporting. An actual reporter would see an email from a Senator calling the NBA out for their political position and report on it, not react to it. If there’s anything we learned from 2020, it’s confirmation that no news is without its spin. Like I told you a year ago, Woj hates the Lakers. This indirectly confirms it.

Meanwhile, the the NBA bubble in Orlando is underway, and it only took two practices for Rajon Rondo to fracture his hand. All that lifting he did during quarantine couldn’t even help his hands, which must be made of glass give all the injuries he’s suffered. This will give some more minutes to JR Smith and Dion Waiters. Speaking of JR Smith, he’s giving us some nice Instagram footage. So far, this guy looks like he’s a lot of fun and was born to be a Laker. As long as he’s not slamming shots of Hennessy before games, and forgetting how much time is on the clock in the final minutes of the game, this could work out well.

As for the rest of the league that got to Orlando and quarantined for a few days before practicing, lots of people started posted pictures of their food. This included Troy Daniels, who’s first meal looked like it was prepared by the same cooks at Fyre Fest. What’s hilarious though is that the dude didn’t even show the Italian Grilled Chicken, White Fish, Parmesean Polenta, and the Pasta with Bolognese. Let’s not feel sorry for the dude. However, I’m pretty sure Lebron and AD are going to be staying in some grand suite and eating filet and lobster every night. The initial pictures and videos of life inside the bubble is interesting though, especially when these opposing teams have to constantly interact with one another. I can’t wait for Russell Westbrook and Patrick Beverly to start fighting over the last bag of hot Cheetos in the vending machine down the hall at night.

We’re getting closer to Major League Baseball, and Mookie Betts is going to play for the Dodgers. Well, at least for 60 games. This guy has no choice but to play if he wants to become a free agent after the season. Then again, the more and more you hear owners whining and complaining about how much money they are losing, the more I’m having a hard time seeing someone pay him the monster deal he’s looking for. In some ways, he’s getting screwed and you have to feel at least a little bad for him. However, that bodes well for the Dodgers to retain him, because a 2-3 year deal with big money is an Andrew Friedman special. Friedman will be looking at Mookie the way you look at Taco Bell at 2 am after 6 or 7 drinks.

On the other hand though, Dodger and Angel players have been disappearing from workouts like Natalee Holloway. Both Joe Maddon and Dave Roberts refuse to disclose the reasons why. Andrew Friedman is clearly not as good of a liar, explaining that many of the absences they can’t explain due to HIPAA laws. At one point, the Dodgers were missing Gavin Lux (who is back now), Kenley Jansen, A.J. Pollock, Pedro Baez, Scott Alexander, and Keibert Ruiz. Of that group, obviously Jansen is the most critical, and we learned late yesterday that he and his son test positive for COVID. The Angels are missing 10 players of their own including
Patrick Sandoval, Jose Suarez, Jared Walsh, Julio Teheran. One can only believe that it’s COVID that has taken the players out for the time being. If it’s not an Angel pitcher needing their arm replaced, it’s COVID that takes them down. That pitching staff just can’t catch a break, and I’m skeptical it will be easier for them in this shortened season.

Finally, the NFL and College Football just don’t seem to understand this whole Coronavirus issue. The NFL just announced that jersey swaps will no longer be allowed between players after the game. That’s great thinking Roger Goodell, I’m sure that will stop the deadly virus in it’s tracks. What’s next? He’s going to make sure there is hand sanitizer and wipes in every huddle? If they are going to play football, it needs to be in a bubble to have the best chance to work, and without fans. As for colleges, the Big 10 and the Pac-12 just cancelled their non-conference schedules. Good job guys, I’m sure those non-conference games against those crummy division I AA teams are far more contagious than those conference games. Give me break. Either these kids are going to school in person and playing sports, or they aren’t doing either. I’m not like the chances of seeing football anytime in 2020, simply because of the stupidity of the leadership. Don’t worry though, the whole country could turn into flesh eating Zombies and the SEC will still play football.



Monday Morning Coffee

Mike Trout is the Masked Face of Baseball

July 6, 2020

This is where baseball might have a problem. It’s biggest star and best player, Mike Trout, might not want to play this year. I can’t blame him either, since he has a baby on the way, and might not want to risk being quarantined from the baby for two weeks. Suddenly Angels baseball isn’t so promising this year as it felt about two weeks ago, now that the game’s best player might not play. It’s quite a coincidence that he’s having a baby, because the entire MLB Players Association are a bunch of baby’s for not wanting to go into a bubble for a 60-game season. What happened to “let us know when and where”? Simply playing without fans isn’t going to stop spreading the virus if players can just go wherever they want before and after games. Pick 2-3 cities. Let the players bring their families to limit the travel, and let’s try to play ball.

Speaking of players sitting out, you can include Dodgers Pitcher David Price in that group as well. Price informed the Dodgers and their fans over the weekend that he won’t be participating this year. Again, I don’t blame the players for opting out, but I blame the Players Association for not agreeing to stronger player safety standards. You certainly can’t hate on the guy since he just gave $1,000 a week to every Dodger minor leaguer for the month of June. It’s actually kind of embarrassing that one of the richest franchises in baseball, the Dodgers, can’t come up with this money themselves. It’s disappointing he won’t play, but the Dodgers have plenty of depth to absorb the loss. Whether or not Andrew Friedman’s computer can pick the correct guys is another story.

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Who put Rob Manfred in charge of baseball? This guy looks more and more clueless everyday. Last week he appeared on the Dan Patrick show, saying that the MLB was never going to agree to playing more than a 60-game season. How is this guy a former attorney? He completely forgot that the Players Association was threatening to file a lawsuit against his owners for not negotiating in good faith. He just incriminated all the owners. Of course a couple of days later, he back peddled on these comments knowing his mistake, saying he meant the current course of the virus is the cause of the 60-games. Good one Rob. I wouldn’t trust you to make a turkey sandwich at this point. 2020 has revealed some of the dumbest people are in some of the most powerful positions.

In the latest twist to the drama going on at UCLA, an adult entertainment webcam company, CamSoda, is offering UCLA $205 million over 10 years to fill the void left by Under Armour. Since the NCAA prostitutes student athletes for their own profit, might as well be upfront about it and go all in. At least UCLA would have the honesty card to hold onto here. What’s to hide here? We all know college and pro athletes will sleep with anybody, and these adult webcam companies love college girls. Sounds like a super brand to me. In all seriousness though, this would never fly, but it really is an amazing offer, and incredible CamSoda has that kind of money to throw around. Considering how bad the financial situation is at UCLA, you gotta wonder if they at least considered it for 5 minutes.

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Speaking of College Sports, I just can’t see how College Football is going to happen. Many colleges and universities aren’t even committing to having their students on campus in the fall. With that being the case, how can they allow their students to play football? Oh wait, it’s only so they can make the NCAA money. You can attempt to put professional athletes in a bubble, if they agree to it. You can’t do that in college sports. There’s also too many schools and conferences that would need to align on how to go about creating student athlete safety guidelines, and I struggle to see them doing that. Then of course there’s the SEC, which would probably still try to play football if an alien invasion were taking place. This conference and all its teams are in their own ultra right wing universe, that doesn’t seem to give a damn about the virus. They’ll play their own conference schedule if they want to, and know that people will watch. They might even put people in the stands. I don’t even hear of any contingency plans being discussed, so I’m having major doubts that we’ll be seeing college football anytime in the next 6 months, with the exception of maybe the SEC.