Monthly Archives: March 2019

Monday Morning Coffee

March 25, 2019

The Lakers were officially eliminated from the playoffs on Friday.  It’s very fitting that they were eliminated while wearing the ugliest uniforms in team history.  It’s disappointing but don’t write this team off from being really good next year, even though the optics look bad right now.  They have the tools to improve drastically.  I love how the Lakers probably leaked nothing, Doc Rivers rumors started, he squashed them, and some people think that alone damages the Laker brand.  Rivers is barely an upgrade over Luke Walton.  He’s like a car salesman that makes you feel good before the sale, but terrible right after you drive off the lot.  Rivers also said “I’m going nowhere”.  You coach the Clippers Doc.  Everybody already knows that!

The NCAA Tournament has been great even though I’m about ready to burn my bracket.  Admit it…you were dying to see UVA upset again by a #16 seed, even if it meant your bracket was going to be destroyed.  UCI may have lost to Oregon, but they haven’t  been this excited since In-N-Out opened across the street from campus. Louisville lost in round 1, and Rick Pitino’s semen is still haunting the basketball team.  Auburn dude passed up an open layup to tie it on Thursday, despite their win.  Auburn and New Mexico State should write a book on how not to finish a game.  Ja Morant looked so good in the tourney, ESPN decided to show 5 whole seconds of him between Zion highlights.  Eric Musselman must have thought by losing early in the tourney he’d be a great fit for UCLA.  Glad Duke is still alive because Zion is just too entertaining not to watch for two more weeks.

Carol Folt is now the president of USC.  Let’s hope her performance is better than the reviews she’s getting.   According to the LA Times, sources at the UNC campus  described her as not a strong leader, aligning herself with censorship of a history course, and refusing to acknowledge the culture of white supremacy on  campus. This is setting up well isn’t it?  Her final act was recommending the removal of a confederate statue on campus.  Her first USC act should be the removal of Lynn Swann and Clay Helton from their current positions.  This is a University that’s a disaster right now, and is bringing in a President that has just faced a disaster and did ok, not great.  Only time will tell.  No NCAA or NIT for USC Hoops.  Instead it’s the FBI!

To baseball where the Angels shocked the world and extended Mike Trout for 12 years and $430 million.  Another 10+ year contract? I guess That’s because baseball games take two years to finish. Trout’s first move should be to use some of that money to buy out the remainder of Pujols contract.  Trout’s new contract could also pay for 860 of Lori Loughlin’s kids to get into USC.  These contracts are never good deals for the owners, but congrats to Arte Moreno and the Angels for biting the bullet to win the PR battle with their fans.  It’s going to take a couple of years for the Angels to get back to the playoffs though.  They’ll need a lot better pitching and the Astros to get a lot worse.  On the bright side, they have the benefit of time now that Trout is locked up.  I don’t want to hear another baseball player whining about their compensation.  $430 million? Put your kids in travel ball folks.

I know we adjusted the clocks an hour forward recently, but Rams GM Les Snead must have turned the clock back to 2010.  That’s because he signed Eric Weddle and Clay Matthews instead of retaining LaMarcus Joyner and Ndamukong Su.  The Rams strength was on defense last year, and that defense played very well in the Super Bowl.  However, they may have just gotten slightly worse in a very competitive NFC.  While both Weddle and Matthews may be great in the locker room, they were let go from two teams who are desperate for defensive help.  Even if the 49ers got a little better, I don’t see the Rams having trouble in the NFC West.   However, getting back to the Super Bowl will be tough with these senior citizens now anchoring the defense.

The LA Kings brought in Will Ferrell to play Ron Burgundy and join the broadcast team the other night.  Seriously? Did they think that the teams play wasn’t laughable enough? The Kings pretended like they were Stanley Cup contenders up until the beginning of this season.  That was 5 years ago!!!! Now the highlight of their season was putting Snoop Dog and Ron Burgundy on their broadcasts.  This is pathetic.  Just air all the games on Comedy Central while you’re at it.  Time to blow it up and rebuild the right way.  Just like they did before they won their first Cup in 2012.

Finally, a shocking episode of The Walking Dead went down last night on AMC. Major spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan to watch it later. This was by far the most shocking and devastating episode we’ve seen since the death of Glenn and Abraham. This time we lost 10 people. But in reality you only care about 3: Enid, Tara, and Henry. Frankly, you probably only care about two since most of you wanted Henry to die because he was an annoying little bitch. The scene was very well done, dramatic, and frankly, the show just couldn’t afford to lose the characters that were taken in the comic in this scene. That’s why Ezekiel and Rosita were probably spared by the producer. Somebody get Negan a bat and let him go to work on Alpha. Gotta feel bad for those Highway Men though. They lost their lives protecting people they didn’t even know, and they didn’t even get to see that movie! It feels like I just watched “The Red Wedding” episode of Game of Thrones again.

Monday Morning Coffee

May 18, 2019

Are you guys gonna act like this every time the Lakers lose over the last 12 games? It’s time to tank, and the Lakers are doing an excellent job of that. The team has been so bad I’m not even sure the NIT would invite them to play in their tournament. You can’t judge Lebron on what he’s doing right now because he’s completely checked out. Mind you, he’s still putting up triple doubles and 30-point games while being checked out. That’s why the idea of trading him makes no sense, which I know some of you have thought about. The only thing that would make me consider is if they won the lottery and drafted Zion Williamson #1. Even then it’s still is a stretch.

Then there’s the story that leaked out this week about the Lakers previously investigating a move to Inglewood once their lease at Staples Center was up in 2024. This story is really not as crazy as it sounds. Staples is twenty years old, despite the fact it’s in great shape. Inglewood could also be revitalized the way downtown was, once the Rams stadium is finished. However, it would never happen as long as Philip Anchutz owns 27% of the Lakers, since he owns Staples and would never let them leave. However, the fact the Lakers are keeping an eye on the future is impressive. If only their basketball operations team would do the same.

Thankfully, the UCLA basketball season has ended. Not only do I want to see a completely new coach, but I want to see a completely new team on the floor next season. Hardly anybody even noticed the Bruins aren’t even in the tournament because people just lost interest. Moses Brown, Jaylen Hands, and Kris Wilkes can all go to the NBA for all I care. Everybody wants Tony Bennett to be the next coach until they realize his team never wins in the NCAA Tournament. I still think if UCLA wants to win and gain relevance again very quickly, they should hire Rick Pitino. That will pale in comparison to any of the controversies going on at USC.

Elsewhere around college ball, you haven’t even filled out your bracket yet and it’s already busted. Virginia is pumped up they get a #1 seed until they realize that they have to play another #16 seed this year. I guess nobody is too surprised that Duke not only got a #1 seed, but got an easy path to the Final Four. Only Bill Walton would leave a broadcast to pee like he did during Oregon vs Arizona State. Lori Laughlin is going to fill out her bracket according to how much she paid each school to admit her kids. Meanwhile your mom is going to fill out her bracket according to who has the cutest mascot and will probably win the whole thing.

Imagine paying $500K to get USC to admit your kid. These days I wouldn’t send my kid to USC if they offered me $500K! USC has a lot bigger problems right now than Clay Helton and their football program. The entire school is a walking embarrassment. There may have been 8 schools implicated in the college admissions scandal, but only one had it’s Senior Associate Athletic Director implicated in taking bribes and had another employee guilty of taking bribes 18 months ago. You can’t do much without a school President, so they’ll need to handle that first, but once that is done they need to clean house. The Trojans should change their mascot to “The Ostriches” since Lynn Swann and the whole Athletic Department have their heads in the sand. Their statements regarding the incident are even more embarrassing. Of course Swann was “blindsided”. He’s been doing nothing but playing golf during his tenure.

How do you know it’s baseball season? Angel pitchers are already getting injured. Spring Training isn’t even over yet and Andrew Heaney is headed to the DL. Then there’s Matt Harvey who looked great for five minutes, and then a disaster after that. Funny how Billy Eppler said the Angels are “comfortable” with their staff. Really? I guess he means the Halos are ok with their crummy pitching. Not even a short-term deal with Dallas Keuchel or Craig Kimbrel would help eh? I guess it’s a requirement that in order to pitch for the Angels you need to have problems with your arm, so they clearly aren’t a fit.

Another episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night and it was a good one. I like how Daryl searched for Rick all the way to the Ocean, but Lori couldn’t even swing by the hospital to leave a note in case he woke up. Meanwhile, Michonne is out here killing kids and all along we thought Carol was the killer. The idea of Michonne killing the “Children of The Corn” would have been more shocking several seasons ago, but I think we are de-sensitized to this now after all of the difficult decions characters have had to make over 9 seasons. It needed to be done. Only two episodes left and I have a feeling if it resembles anything like the comic, we could be in for something similar to “The Red Wedding” episode of Game of Thrones.

Finally, the Bachelor came to an end last week, and as we expected, Colton bailed on the show to be with Cassie. If there’s one thing you ladies should learn from this season it’s that you don’t have a guy that wants you until he jumps an 8-foot fence for you. This is on the producers though, who must not have completely explained to Colton that he can’t prematurely end the show like he did. Still, it’s amusing that Cassie said she wasn’t ready for marriage. Her dad said she’s not ready. Every single girl on the show this season told Colton she’s not ready. Chris Harrison told Colton she’s not that into you. All that and Colton said he doesn’t care and went for it. Whoever decided that Hannah B should be the next Bachelorette and that the last show should have Air Supply singing should be fired. Hannah B can’t even complete a sentence without saying “ummm” and doesn’t blink. The next season has the makings of something very underwhelming. You know you’re going to watch it anyway.

Monday Morning Coffee

March 11, 2019

Things keep going from bad to worse for the Lakers. The optics are probably much worse than things really are, but optics matter with free agency meaning so much to them this summer. Those optics make the team look like they have reincarnated the twighlight years of Kobe’s career with Lebron in LA. Of course things looked like they were going well before Lebron got hurt, but shortly after that the team decided to give up playing defense for Lent. If this is going to work moving forward, the Lakers need to make sensible decisions around keeping and developing the young players they have drafted and developed. Hopefully Brandon Ingram will be ok and be part of that future. In the meantime though, they would be wise to lose as many games as possible between now and the end of the season to get another high draft pick.

Speaking of optics, the media is suddenly driving a narrative that the Clippers are the more stable and better franchise currently in LA. Except Stephen A Smith is hearing that Doc Rivers of all people could be a strong candidate to replace Luke Walton as the Lakers head coach. Seeing Doc Rivers coaching the Lakers would be more awkward than seeing Donald Trump at a women’s rights march. However, the simple fact that this is even being floated as a possibility tells you everything you need to know about the Clippers. If they are such a stable and desirable franchise, why would Doc Rivers even consider leaving for the more unstable franchise across the hall?

To baseball where the Dodgers are already having injury problems. Let me get this straight: Joe Kelly can stand up for the duration of the National Anthem, but he injures his back while cooking Cajun food standing too long in the kitchen? This kind of nonsense could only happen to baseball players, and usually ones that are signed by Andrew Friedman. Let’s just hope that Clayton Kershaw doesn’t injure his arm eating that food, or that Kenley Jansen doesn’t get heartburn from eating it. If Kershaw and Jansen aren’t as elite as they have been in the past, this Dodger team has no chance of winning a World Series. Without them they have depth, but not enough quality talent in crucial roles to finally win a championship. So far, it looks like those two pitchers are in decline this spring, so keep and eye on that. I’m also keeping an eye on Stan Kasten, who says he’s been working on the TV deal everyday. Since the Dodgers are only on one cable provider for the 6th straight year, Kasten is either a liar, or really bad at his job.

Meanwhile, the Angels are in the midst of trying to manage the slowly escalating drama surrounding Mike Trout’s free agency in two years. The Halos tattling to the MLB about Bryce Harper tampering with Trout is like calling the FBI when someone steals $5 from you. Trout is phenomenal, but the Angels haven’t won anything with him, so I can’t imagine they would be far less successful without him, especially if they can get some nice assets for him. If Trout doesn’t sign an extension in the next year, the sensible thing to do would be to trade him, and nobody should lose any sleep over it. It’s probably going to take more than the 10 years and $350 million though that the Angels are considering offering.

You didn’t really think that UCLA basketball was going to avoid disappointing you this weekend did you? Just when you thought they were going to get a first round bye in the Pac 12 Tournament, they lose to Colorado and Utah and free fall to the 7th seed. There’s part of me that just wants this embarrassment to end on Wednesday night with a loss to Stanford. Every time this team takes the court they find a way to make themselves look worse in front of every single coach in the nation that might be considering taking the job. Whether it’s lack of fan support or mediocre talent, I feel like the less we see from them between now and next year the better.

The Raiders might be interesting this year, but I wouldn’t count on them being very good. Acquiring Antonio Brown from the Steelers, even for just a 3rd and 5th round pick, is like buying a Ferrari when you need to put a new roof on top of your house, and fix a giant hole in the floor. Now there’s talk of Jon Gruden trying to sign Le’Veon Bell. There’s nothing like recreating a team that won absolutely nothing together during the most productive years of their career. It’s like Al Davis is still running the Raiders.

Last night another episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. That was one hell of a fight between Beta and Daryl, and more than lived up to the hype of the previews. It was like watching Daryl fight The Undertaker. I have a feeling most of you were just concerned that the dog was going to die. It’s going to take more than a fall down an elevator shaft though to kill that beast. Henry is killing me. That dude is about two seconds away from “looking at the flowers.” Daryl is a badass and all, but even Henry is getting tail during the apocalypse, while Daryl has been shutdown for nine seasons. How can you trust a girl who eats worms? These last three episodes are going to be epic. Something tells me though we’re going to see some shocking deaths by the time it’s over though.

Finally, the final two episodes of The Bachelor are going down on ABC the next two nights. Colton finally jumped the fence last week! That fence got more air time than half the girls on the show this season. I like how Colton birdboxed this whole situation when every girl on the show warned him that Cassie wasn’t ready for marriage. All I heard from Cassie for two hours straight was “so like I am like not sure like I am like in love with you like I don’t know.” This women is actually a speech pathologist? Chris Harris was probably really upset he had to put down his mimosa and get dressed really fast for “the most dramatic moment in Bachelor history”, or so he described. Next season, Chris should make sure they order electric fences to prevent this from happening. How is Colton going to go out on a date with Hannah or even go back to Taysha pretending like nothing happened? Then again, Hannah is probably more concerned with coming up with her next rap song. The Women Tell All was a little underwhelming though. I don’t feel like anybody in the back row even spoke. However, I did get a good laugh out of Demi calling Courtney a bed bug. Looking forward to seeing how this thing ends!

Monday Morning Coffee

March 4, 2019

It’s bad Laker fans. The playoffs aren’t happening anymore. It’s so bad, that the fans are hitting more shots at halftime than many players are during the games. 19 games aren’t enough time to make up a 4.5 game deficit. However, don’t try to tell me Lebron is too old. His numbers are in line with his career averages, and he’s got the highest PER in the league. Don’t also try to tell me that the young players suck, because Brandon Ingram looks one of the best young players in the league. Luke Walton’s lineups might have some issues, but this is ultimately flawed roster construction on the part of the front office, and Lebron because he signed off on most of these veteran clowns. Now it feels like the odds of signing a big time free agent this summer are worse than the odds of winning the Power Ball. At least we can try to enjoy some of the humor coming out of this.

Stephen A. Smith on the Lakers and Lebron James 🗣🏀😂— Cool Slim (@Ayye_pap) March 3, 2019

I’ll give the Clippers credit for playing hard every night and pushing for the playoffs. However, they are still the Clippers, and can’t get out of their own way when it comes to embarrassing themselves one way or another. The latest example of this is when Ralph Lawler and Don MacLean mocked Robert “Tractor” Traylor the other night, suggesting he is playing in the YMCA. For those you too young to remember this, Traylor died in 2011. Slightly insensitive, and even though Ralph Lawler apologized for it, if this happened with another franchise that people gave a damn about it would make far more headlines.

I’m not terribly upset that the Dodgers didn’t sign Bryce Harper to a ridiculous 13-year deal that he signed with the Phillies. Frankly, even the $180 million they offered him for 4 years was ridiculous enough for a guy who hit .240. What does kill me though is the fact the Dodgers gave away Yasiel Puig and Matt Kemp for nothing. That’s 40 home runs at a great value they gave away and got nothing in return for. At this point if there is one thing the Dodgers need it’s an elite starter. Corey Kluber should have been that guy, but instead Friedman was content to do little to improve the team.

The Angels don’t have many options for a new stadium. They can’t move to LA County, and it’s hard to imagine them getting a new stadium in a place like Tustin or Irvine. That’s why this story about them looking into a new stadium in Long Beach made headlines last week. A waterfront stadium would be interesting and could be the 2nd coming of AT&T Park, one of the most beautiful stadiums in the country. However, the traffic is going to be hell, there’s not a chance the taxpayers would pay for it, and the Halos really belong in Anaheim. Ultimately, this is just to create more leverage with the city to make improvements to Anaheim Stadium.

UCLA beat USC on the basketball court last week. And barely. Should we be excited? Should we throw a parade in Westwood? It’s gotten so pathetic that UCLA gymnastics is suddenly the profile sport at the school. Every time this team plays it makes me think that there chance of landing an elite coach gets further damaged. However, the Pac-12 is so awful, I would not be shocked at all if the Bruins won the Pac-12 tournament. The winner of that tournament should be the only one in the conference that plays in field of 68.

Another episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night and it was pretty solid. Henry is such a fool. I can’t say I would have been terribly heartbroken had he been killed by the Whisperers. However, it was pretty amusing seeing his reaction to Alpha killing two people. Apparently when you interview for a spot in the Whisperer’s camp, if you can custom fit masks out of human flesh you’re in. If I were Negan, I wouldn’t want to leave my cell either after seeing Beta and Alpha in action. Alpha passed some dude his wife’s head like she was passing the potatoes at dinner. Judith totally just dropped the mic on her mom, by telling Michonne that she changed. I can’t wait for Carol to find out about Alpha and take her on. That’s going to be one gigantic clash of the titans. I’m also looking forward to the epic showdown between Daryl and Beta next week.

Finally, The Bachelor is back on ABC tonight and we’re down to just 3 girls for Colton. I still can’t believe some of you really thought Cassie was going home last week. You can’t hate on his choices though. He wants someone to push him out of his comfort zone, and Caelynn just took him to get ice cream. I still think Caelynn was a better choice than Tayshia though. This must be your first time watching the show if you fell for that. Colton just jumped out a plane that was 13,000 feet in the air, but we’re all more excited to see him jump over an 8 foot fence. It is so incredibly awkward and such an eye rolling moment seeing Colton ask four different fathers for permission to marry their daughters, and try to explain that he’s falling in love with each of them. You know it’s sad when Hannah rapping is the most personality she’s ever shown. I still like Cassie to win the whole thing, but looking forward to seeing the finale.