Author Archives: omzzzzz

Monday Morning Coffee

November 18, 2019

The Lakers are 11-2, and they have the best record in the NBA. They also have an identity: defense, owning the paint, and passing. After 6 years of getting laughed at by the league, things are looking up. Speaking of looking up, I think it’s fair to say that Kobe’s daughter is taller than Kevin Hart. Then again Snoopy is also taller than Kevin Hart, so that’s not saying much. It was nice to see Kobe and Lebron sharing a moment last night, as well as Kobe and Dwight Howard. In just one month, Dwight has managed to buy into his role beautifully, negotiate a peace treaty between KCP and his haters, and give Kobe some love publicly. I definitely didn’t see this one coming.

Meanwhile, the Clippers are winning across the hallway as well. Does Kawhi have another job? I mean I know millennials usually have a side hustle, and Kawhi is a part-time NBA player at this point, so it would only make sense. I’m thinking the Clipper season ticket holders should be entitled to “load manage” his or her games and inform the team that 10-20 games during the season won’t be paid for so that their finances will be strong come playoff time to handle those jacked up ticket prices. By the way, the Clippers are 8-5 and everybody things everything is chill. If the Lakers were 8-5 people would be calling for Vogel’s job, and be saying Lebron is washed.

That Rams-Bears game was sloppier than happy hour with Lindsay Lohan, but thank god Mitch Trubisky stinks. On one hand, the defense is playing great and it was nice to see Todd Gurley get 25 carries. On the other hand though, Jared Goff isn’t exactly inspiring confidence in anyone right now. Given Goff’s footwork in the pocket the last few weeks, he’s either auditioning for the “Happy Feet Live” production, or to be a part of the next ‘Dancing With The Stars” cast. Either way, it looks like his schedule will be open as of January 4th. Then again, I’m beginning to think the reason why they’ll never win a Super Bowl is because they were once the Cleveland Rams.

Elsewhere around Week 11 in the NFL, Myles Garrett and Happy Gilmore are the first ever athletes to take off their equipment and use it as a weapon. Too bad the Steelers got the worst punishment of anyone when Mason Rudolph wasn’t suspended by the league. Things have gotten so bad for the Redskins that the fans were chanting “sell the team”. Nelson Agholor couldn’t catch a rash at a poison ivy convention. Lamar Jackson is a human video game. Don’t look now but the Raiders are actually in the playoffs, and suddenly trading away Khalil Mack doesn’t look so bad.

USC might go 8-4, end up in the Alamo Bowl, and Clay Helton could still be fired. I realize that everyone wants this man gone, but how fair is everyone being? His team has been decimated by injuries, yet he still hasn’t even entirely been eliminated from Rose Bowl contention. Also, since Trojan fans keep saying all they really care about is winning the Pac-12 and making it to the Rose Bowl, and everything else is gravy think about this: Clay Helton has already won a Rose Bowl. If that’s all you care about, then Helton is your guy. If not, then you’re a bunch of liars. I’m going with liars.

So much for UCLA turning things around. The Bruins got bombed by Utah on Saturday by a score of 49-3. UCLA should never lose to Utah in football, and certainly not in blowout fashion. The Bruins were doing it with smoke and mirrors against a crummy Pac-12 South, but they were finally exposed. Nobody does more with less than this program. In fact, nobody pays more for less than the Bruins, with this ridiculous Chip Kelly contract. It’s been a disaster from the start, and will not end anytime soon.

Elsewhere around college football, don’t let Baylor blowing a 28-3 lead over Oklahoma distract you from the fact that Texas lost to Iowa State. The Atlanta Falcons can’t catch a break. Baylor blows a 28-3 lead, the Falcons were just minding their own business, and the internet ropes them in and makes fun of them for blowing a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl against New England. Notre Dame should not sell out home games every week if plan on blowing out top 25 teams every time. They should also stop raising ticket prices. Has anyone seen images of the new Longhorn Patio they are building in Texas? It looks like a uterus. I guess that makes sense since you can’t spell that without “UT”.

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Congratulations to Cody Bellinger & Mike Trout on winning the NL & AL MVP’s, respectively. These guys both had amazing seasons, and they rightfully earned the awards. For those of you wanting to poke fun at their lack of playoff success, or playoff involvement, lay off. That kind of criticism is only allowed here on Jock Talk LA. In all seriousness though, this isn’t the NBA. A guy can have a great regular season, win the MVP, and it can have nothing to do with the playoffs, or even making it. That’s just the nature of the game. Speaking of the playoffs though, this story about the Astros electronically stealing signs to win the 2017 World Series makes sense. I always knew that Andrew Friedman was so cheap that he wouldn’t even buy the anti-virus software to prevent this from happening.

Finally, a new episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Imagine Michonne coming back to Alexandria: they lose Negan, everybody gets sick, they lose Lydia, and Siddiq gets killed. How the hell are they going to survive without her? How did Lydia not know that Dante was Whisperer? Is Rosita hitting up one of those apocalyptic med spas for some eyebrow waxing? Not sure its possible to look that good given everything going on . If you’re a doctor on this show you are definitely destined to die. Carol is at her scariest when she is offering people food. Now she’s playing the long game because wait until all the Whisperers see that Lydia is actually alive. Heck she might have even let Negan out to infiltrate the Whisperers. Calm down ladies. Daryl’s shirt is going back on in the next episode. Looking forward to the mid-season finale next week!

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Monday Morning Coffee

November 11, 2019

Look guys, the Lakers weren’t going to go 81-1. They were going to lose some games like last night. They need some help with their 3-point shooting. Anthony Davis and Kyle Kuzma shouldn’t be shooting that many either. However, let’s look at the positive. Alex Caruso looks like a 7th grade math teacher, yet every now and again he’ll posterize opponents, not to mention play some solid defense and make plays. I’m also not sure who this impostor is that is wearing a Dwight Howard jersey. Whoever he is, he’s playing amazing defense, buying into his role, and being an excellent teammate. For all the crap I’ve given him, he’s been amazing thus far. As for Anthony Davis, he’s been great too. If he’s really dumb enough to go to Chicago this off-season like he suggested though, then it just goes to show you that basketball players really do need to stay in school. It’s still relatively early, but this team is fun to watch. Now they just have to find a way to beat the Clippers.

Speaking of those Clippers, Doc Rivers is such a buffoon. The man is like a used car salesman. I would never buy what he’s selling, and certainly not that bs he spouted last week on Kawhi Leonard really being injured. We knew all along he wasn’t, even though he fooled the NBA temporarily. I still think it’s stupid for the Clippers to do this whole load management thing for Kawhi, rather than play him fewer minutes. It just might even cost the Clippers some playoff positioning too with the way they are doing it. My favorite part about this team though is that they claim they are just trying to carve out their own identity with fans, and not worry about the Lakers. Except every billboard they create always seems to take a shot at the Lakers and not being second fiddle.

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To the NFL where the Rams suffered a bad loss to the Steelers yesterday. Cooper Kupp and Robert Woods disappeared like Jimmy Hoffa, and the Rams offensive line was so bad, they couldn’t block anybody on social media if they tried. Going into the season with 2 linemen with more than 18 starts under their belts probably wasn’t the best idea, and it’s probably going to cost this team a playoff spot. This was supposed to be the easy part of the Rams schedule. Now they have to play the Bears, Ravens, Cardinals, Seahawks, Cowboys, 49ers, and Cardinals again. Even if they go 4-3 they still might not make the playoffs. That’s how brutal the NFC is. McVay needs to bring back his genius fast or else the Rams will be watching the playoffs from the couch with you and me.

Meanwhile, the Chargers returned to being the Chargers again and lost to the Raiders in Oakland on Thursday night. One team is leaving California and the other team has no fans in California. All we heard coming in was how the Raiders haven’t played a home game in 49 days. That’s funny because the Bolts haven’t played a home game in three years. That one was too easy. But seriously, Philip Rivers looked awful. Then there’s the London rumors that started floating around. I don’t think the Bolts are moving to London, but I do think they will move somewhere else in a few years. It’s already obvious they can’t sell season seats in a brand new stadium, even at discounted rates. Nobody cares about this team in LA, and it’s apparently clear to everybody but the 31 other NFL owners.

In College Football, USC got the win on Saturday vs ASU, but nobody is even talking about that. All anybody cares about is their new Athletic Director Mike Bohn. More specifically, everybody wants to know if he’s going hire Urban Meyer. If you think that Carol Folt or Mike Bohn are going to tell you right now that they are considering Urban Meyer or not, then that kind logic makes you qualified to work in the Trojan Athletic Department. Still, if Folt is going to preach integrity like she is, it’s going to be beyond hypocritical for Meyer to be hired.

Perhaps some of you forgot, but there’s another basketball team in this town not named the Lakers or Clippers. It’s the UCLA Bruins basketball team, and they’ve already played two games. The fact you probably haven’t noticed speaks volumes about how far they have fallen to LA sports irrelevancy. The Bruins are 2-0 with victories over Long Beach and Santa Barbara. However, in both games they needed to rally over opponents with inferior talent. Mick Cronin’s team is looking like a poor mans version of a Ben Howland team. They’ll have some tough tests against #3 Kansas, Notre Dame, and #9 North Carolina in the next couple of weeks.

Finally, another episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Negan just doesn’t seem like a guy who fits in with The Whisperers. I mean they are called “The Whisperers”. Not “The Dudes That Won’t Shut The Hell Up.” Negan interacting with Beta though was pure comedy. Daryl was really giving off some Rick vibes while sitting in that porch chair. Eugene is the kinda dude who would meet somebody over the radio during the apocalypse and get catfished. I refuse to believe that Rosita is going to die because she drank some bad water. I mean of all the things to kill her in the apocalypse, it can’t be water. Carol is up to no good and Daryl knows it. Wouldn’t be shocked if she was the one who let Negan out. Apparently the Walking Dead Comic has ended. That means that the show itself may be closer to an ending than we think. Especially if the ratings keep falling. Still, looking forward to seeing where the last couple of episodes go before the mid-season finale.

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Monday Morning Coffee

November 4, 2019

Do you know what that sound is? It’s the sound of Warriors bandwagon fans running to jump back on the Lakers bandwagon after the last 5 years. It’s been years since the Lakers won a pair of road game like they did this weekend. It felt like a pair of wins filled with championship pedigree. That’s because the team is finally playing great defense and getting critical stops in the 4th quarter, as well as coming up with big plays in the 4th quarter. That’s been missing the last couple of season, but having Lebron James and Anthony Davis helps a tad to solve that problem. Even Smush Parker thinks KCP’s consistency is garbage. Imagine how good the team would be if he was consistent. Give me more Alex Caruso and less KCP, and this team will be even better. Also, for all the crap I have given Dwight Howard over the years, he’s been amazing. Things are looking good, but they need to stay healthy.

Meanwhile, the Clippers are stillwinning as well, but this load management is ridiculous. Doc Rivers said there will be no load management on Kawhi Leonard this season. He’s a liar. 5 games in, Kawhi was already resting. The concept of load management makes little sense too, especially when Kawhi is sitting against elite teams, and when the game might be so lopsided on one night, you might be able to limit his minutes anyway. You know what…..tomorrow I’m going to tell my boss I need to take a day off for “load management” to perform better in 82 days from now. Not for a sick day or vacation day. Just load management. That should go over really well with HR.

Come on Dodger fans be realistic. Stop salivating over free agents that you know Andrew Friedman will never sign. You think Friedman is going to give $200 million to Gerrit Cole? Or Anthony Rendon? Get real. This guy approaches free agency like a guy looking for coupons before shopping at the 99 Cent Store. You can be sure he’s going to look for a couple of terrible relievers with “good spin rate”, trade Corey Seager for pennies on the dollar to avoid paying him, and then tell us how great he feels about his teams chances. The Angels on the other hand will be printing money if necessary to sign Gerrit Cole. Meanwhile, my Dodger self-esteem doesn’t seem to be feeling any better after losing to the eventual World Series Champion for the third straight year.

Did the entire city of Green Bay show up at Dignity Health Sports Park yesterday? It sure felt like it when seeing all the Packer fans fill the seats at the Charger game in Carson. This time though, the Bolts did not find a new ways to embarrass themselves on the field and got a win. It figures right? The Chargers manhandle a good team, but can’t actually win against crummy teams. The Bolts fired their offensive coordinator Ken Whisenhunt earlier in the week, and if I didn’t know better I’d say he was hired by the Packers with the way their offensive played. Why can’t the Chargers be more consistent? Oh they have injuries you say? Well the Patriots, Seahawks, and Ravens all have injuries too, and they are in a playoff
spot at the moment. That’s probably because they don’t give away football games like the way you give away your junk to the Salvation Army come tax time. Can’t say I expect their season to turn around after this win, or their stadium to start having their fans in it either. Here’s a look at all the Packer fans yesterday.

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Elsewhere around Week 9, Christmas came early for everyone after the Ravens ran all over the Patriots and gave them their first loss. After the Dolphins beat the Jets, I’m waiting for Miami to fire coach Brian Flores followed by a statement that says: “Winning is something we simply won’t tolerate around here.” Meanwhile, Jets fans are off to hang themselves. Apparently Minshew Mania doesn’t travel overseas, because the Jaguars got crushed by the Texans in London. The only defense Mitch Trubisky can beat down is the Bears defense. The only difference between Kirk Cousins and Matt Moore is that Cousins is overpaid. I don’t know what happened to OBJ, but the Browns have made him disappear like David Blane. We should just
save everyone time and give the MVP to Christian McCaffrey now. The Redskins are 1-8, haven’t scored a TD in a month, but Daniel Snyder and Bruce Allen are reminding fans to purchase their playoff tickets.

Not much of a feel good weekend for the USC football program and their fans. The Trojans ended up taking a senseless beating from Oregon at the Coliseum. I’m not sure which was worse, the one the Ducks administered, or the one Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart gave the coaching staff at halftime on Fox. Bush and Leinart said the coaches do nothing but put the players in position to fail. They aren’t wrong. It’s going to be tough for Clay Helton to survive after that showing. Then there’s the hiring of Cincinnati AD Mike Bohn. The bad news is he was about their 6th choice. That just goes to show you how bad not only USC is now, but the Pac-12 in general. The good news is that he has no USC ties, so he’s not some Trojan Kool-Aid drinker. He’ll bring fresh thinking. Unfortunately if you’re banking on Urban Meyer coaching this team next year, I doubt it’s going to happen. There’s no way you can preach about a high character program while hiring Meyer. What’s next? Hiring O.J. Simpson as the head of a domestic abuse prevention program?

Look at UCLA football now. Suddenly these jokers are now in 2nd place in the PAC -12 South, and control their own destiny in the division. I’d be shocked if this team actually goes into Utah next week and wins. However, this is the PAC-12 we are talking about. where all the games should really be aired on Comedy Central. Any “good team” finds a way to lose every week.
Nevertheless, I’ve gotta give credit to Dorian Thompson-Robinson, who mightactually be able to play quarterback after-all, and has been improving.

To the NHL, where the LA Kings are just as bad as I suspected. This team has one of the worst defense the league has seen in years, and it’s apparently caused goalie Jonathan Quick to look like the second coming of a traffic cone. It’s depressing when you think about the fact this team still has pieces from their Stanley Cup championship teams earlier in the decade, but just like your Apple IPod, they have become old and outdated. Rebuilding is fine, but the idea of building without thinking about defense and goaltending first is silly. That’s how the Kings did it earlier in the decade, and that’s also how last year’s Stanley Cup Finalists did it. It’s gotten so bad though even Luc Robitaille’s wife won’t go to the games anymore. 

Finally, another episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if that is the case. I forgot how much I missed Negan until we saw an extended look at him in this episode. I also never thought I would be so excited to see him kill Brandon, who was more annoying than a nagging housewife. I know we’re all cheering for the whole “Caryl” thing to go down, but Connie and Daryl seem like they are really a thing. Ezekiel can’t seem to catch a break. He loses his pet, his Kingdom, his kid, Carol, and now he has cancer. I don’t know about you, but this Magna woman looks amazing and it’s the apocalypse. For those of us who know what happened in the comics, it’s pretty awesome to see Negan finally meeting with the Whisperers. Alpha is getting more and more terrifying by the second, but she needs to die. Looking forward to seeing where this goes!

Monday Morning Coffee

October 28, 2019

It’s been three games and there’s more good news about the Lakers than bad. They look pretty good, especially at the defensive end. Lebron and AD look dominant with improving chemistry, and they are going to get Kyle Kuzma back soon. The bad news is that the offense is a little bit too much hero ball, KCP is garbage, and the Clippers have scary potential in a head-to-head matchup. Coming into Sunday, KCP had 1 point and no field goals in 48 minutes. This dude needs to change his name to Kentavious Caldwell “Poop”. Amazing that he’s on an NBA roster but Carmelo Anthony isn’t. Keep your fingers crossed the AD shoulder injury isn’t anything serious, and the train will keep moving and piling up wins.

Meanwhile, the Clippers looked impressive in their first two games, then wet the bed against the Suns. I’ll admit it. This team has the potential to be great, and it’s going to take some serious offensive discipline to break through their elite defense. That is of course when they decide to play defense, which they didn’t do on Saturday night. The NBA must have been so shocked the Suns are winning, they had to drug test DeAndre Ayton, resulting in his 25-game suspension. Also memo to Doc Rivers who thinks the Lakers shouldn’t be counting their Minneapolis Championships. In that case we shouldn’t count those bs Celtic titles before the modern era either, which would give the LA Lakers twice as many titles over Boston.

Bold strategy by the Bengals yesterday to not cover Cooper Kupp. I don’t think it worked out so well for them considering Kupp went off in London, and the Rams got another victory. It’s nice to see the Rams getting a couple of “get well” games against the Falcons, Bengals, and probably coming up against the Steelers. However, there are going to be some tough games ahead against the 49ers, Cowboys, and Seahawks. Where is Sean McVay coming up with these wild plays? It’s like he’s been studying the Madden playbook on Xbox. When we get into these tougher games, the difference is going to be how much the Rams can lean on Todd Gurley, which is still a big question mark at this point. For that reason, I’d like to see more of Darrell Henderson.

Then there’s the Chargers who finally played a team that blows it in the 4th quarter harder than them. Keenan Allen was dropping balls like it was New Years Eve in Times Square, and the Bolts were missing field goals like it’s a weekly tradition. Still, the Bears said “hold my beer” and failed to execute in the 4th, and missed the game winning field goal. The Chargers won, but this team is an even bigger flop in LA than they were in San Diego. At 3-5, I can’t see them beating out KC for the division, I don’t care how many healthy bodies they get back. They aren’t catching the Chiefs, and probably won’t even catch the Raiders either. The Bolts are impossible to trust in close game, and you can almost guarantee that will happen in the coming weeks in the most critical moments. It would almost be surprising if that didn’t happen.

Elsewhere around Week 8, the Patriots beat up the Browns, and Cleveland managed to throw an interception on a pitch in the process. That’s the most “Cleveland Brown thing” that I’ve heard. Sam Darnold threw three more interceptions for the Jets in the loss to the Jaguars, and should probably be working at the snack bar. The 49ers managed to hang 51 points on the Panthers, and nobody even notices how average Jimmy Garoppolo is. You know your football team is bad when you throw 4 touchdown passes and still lose to the Lions. Welcome to being a New York Giant Daniel Jones. Funny how the Raiders are missing a good pass rusher after trading Khalil Mack. “Knock on Wood” if your’e with me. Drew Brees is back and the Saints are still rolling. The Saints v 49ers game at the end of November is going to mean everything for home field in the NFC. The Broncos might actually be good if they had a quarterback, except, John Elway couldn’t find one if his life depended on it.

So if the Trojans make it to the Pac-12 Title game or even the Rose Bowl does Clay Helton keep his job? The question may not be all that unreasonable at this point. It was shocking enough that Helton kept his job last year. He has more excuses this year after the team is losing starters left and right, yet still winning. The Trojans got another win in the Pac-12 after beating Colorado on Friday night. The conference is dumpster fire, yet somehow, they are leading the Pac-12 South. If USC is morally above hiring Urban Meyer, then who else would take the gig that’s s clear-cut upgrade? It’s been fun looking at all these guys low on the depth chart for the Trojans. Hopefully for the sake of USC fans, they can find a coach there too.

As for UCLA, suddenly they’ve won two in a row after beating ASU. Even more shocking is the fact they control their own destiny in the Pac-12 South. Arizona State and Stanford are so embarrassed after losing to the Bruins, they are considering moving out of the conference. The strategy for UCLA must have been to shock ASU with a completely silent stadium, considering only 39,000 people showed up for the game. Even after two straight wins, I’m pretty sure UCLA had higher expectations than this when they brought in Chip Kelly.

For just a moment, I thought the Astros were cooked. I actually thought Houton was going to lose the World Series to a team whose logo was the same as Walgreen’s. Just knowing that the Nationals have won two games depresses me even further as a Dodger fan. The Boys in Blue can win 100 games over 162, but they can’t seem to win 11 games in a one-month stretch in October when the stakes are just a little higher? Nerd ball just doesn’t work in the playoffs.

Finally, a new episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it so read no further if that is the case. Judith is slicing up Walkers like a California Roll. She’s clearly getting some good training from Michonne. Poor Negan. He’s saving everyone, but he’s still getting in trouble for no damn reason. Aaron used to be a little more likeable, but these days he’s being kind of a bitch that doesn’t deserve that awesome arm he has. How long are they going to make Lydia pay for being a part of the Whisperers at one point? It’s like she’s Michael Vick even after he went to jail. Daryl and Carol are moving a little bit closer to real love, except Ezekiel can feel it, which is why he’s making moves on Michonne. Unfortunately, when you start falling in love during the apocalypse you end up dying, so Daryl and Carol might not be long. The show is just getting good again, except now rumors are flying some key characters are leaving the show. Some combination of Daryl, Michonne, and Carol could be gone, which would be another crippling blow to the show. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that.

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Monday Morning Coffee

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October 21, 2019

This just in. Nike will be releasing a new Lebron sneaker that is perfect for him to insert his foot into his mouth. At this point, all anybody wants is to see basketball and not hear about bs US or international politics when they watch the NBA. If I wanted to listen to a bunch of people who have no idea what they are talking about I’d just tune into CNN or Fox News. Nevertheless, on the court the Lakers appear to have the best duo in the NBA. Their biggest concern is health, but they have great rebounding and size in the paint, much improved shooting, all which complement two elite superstars. Lebron is going to be playing pissed off all year as well. They might pace themselves during the season, but this team is poised to contend for a title.

Meanwhile, everybody wants to jump on the Clipper hype train. By everyone, I mean every analyst and NBA fan that really just hates the Lakers. I’m not saying the Clippers aren’t going to be good. However, they have no lead facilitator and they have a small front court. They overloaded on wing guys because NBA Twitter believes a bunch of wing guys that play defense and score is all you need in basketball. No need for rebounding or rim protection apparently. We’ve also never seen Paul George, who is coming off double shoulder surgery, play with Kawhi Leonard. Sounds like a lot of skill duplication, yet everyone wants to annoint Kawhi and PG the best duo in the NBA. Considering PG is out for Tuesday, it’s gonna be a while before we find out just what this team is.

Did the Dodgers win the World Series while we weren’t paying attention? You sure would think so listening to Andrew Friedman talk about his team after they were upset in the first round. Apparently, the only problem is Rick Honeycutt, according to Freidman. So we’re going to do this again next year with more or less the same crew so we can pull our hair out again. This is madness! For those of you trying to convince yourself the Dodgers will go sign Anthony Rendon, Gerrit Cole, or even an elite bullpen arm, think again. Andrew Friedman has everybody in the organization drinking his Kool-Aid, thinking that one of these years they might luck into a World Series title with his cheap skate approach to every off-season. Not only can this geek not build a reliable bullpen to save his life, but his “all or nothing” analytical approach at the plate, has resulted in a team that has no idea how to manufacture runs in the most critical moments of the postseason. This is the worst good team to be a fan of.

Meanwhile, the Angels were fortunate enough to land Joe Maddon as their new Manager. I say fortunate because the Tyler Skaggs tragedy might actually force the Halos to fire people, or even cut ties with certain players. Maddon could have easily found the job less appealing with those circumstances. Nevertheless, the Angels have real holes to fill before next season starts. More importantly, can Maddon pitch?

To the NFL where the Rams got back in the win column with a victory on the road against the Falcons yesterday. It’s weird how Jalen Ramsey was acquired, and suddenly his back is 100%. It’s like Oral Roberts is employed by the Rams on their medical staff. You’ve gotta love the Rams for going for it and feeling like their window to win is now. At this rate though, they might not have a first round pick until the year 2041. Devonta Freeman picked the wrong dude to mess with in Aaron Donald. Todd Gurley and Jared Goff made big plays, but it’s going to be a lot easier for this team to win games when they don’t allow any sacks or turn the ball over. That’s easy against Atlanta and should be next week against the Bengals. Remains to be seen if they can do it beyond that.

The Chargers really “Charger-ed” that game yesterday. Watching the 4th quarter was like watching two teams and every single referee play that game while drunk. Of course it was the Bolts who missed out on every opportunity to get that much needed win. Now their season is pretty much toast. Melvin Gordon not only fumbled away the winning touchdown, but he hasn’t rushed for more than 42 yards since November 25th of last year. This dude is losing money faster than Lehman Brothers. If the Bolts are going to just play down to inferior competition and get their secondary destroyed every week, Philip Rivers might as well ask for a trade. Can’t wait to find out how the Chargers find a way to throw away next week’s game against the Bears.

Elsewhere around Week 7, Aaron Jones, Chase Edmonds, Marvin Jones, and Jacoby Brissett each had more touchdowns than the entire Redskins team this week. After the Patrick Mahomes injury, the Patriots, 49ers, and the Madden Curse are still undefeated. Derek Carr said he was more worried about a safe landing than keeping the ball in the Raiders loss to the Packers. He is softer than Charmin toilet paper. Andy Dalton had 3 turnovers in 5 minutes. Not even Betty Crocker is that talented. Mitch Trubisky is giving Bears fans more heartburn than deep dish pizza and Polish sausage. Only the Dolphins would give up a touchdown on an onside kick.

To the college ranks where the Trojans picked up a win against Arizona on Saturday night. It’s not clear just how far into their running back depth chart USC is, but the next man up is an RC car with a football strapped to it. The Pac-12 is still awful at football, and the fact that USC can still win their division in their diminished state says everything about that. Even more wild is the fact that USC suffered 6 major injuries, yet the backups look even better than the starters. That makes you think Helton definitely has no idea what he’s doing. If the Trojans win-out or even make the Rose Bowl in this dumpster fire of a conference, it will be interesting to see if Helton does actually have a chance to save his job. A true nightmare for Trojan fans.

Meanwhile, UCLA probably wishes they could play Stanford every week. The Bruins won for the first time against the trees in over a decade. That’s right folks. The last time UCLA beat Stanford, people we’re buying houses like groceries, and the financial crisis had not even occurred. That’s very likely to be the last win the Bruins will get this season after looking at their schedule the rest of the way. 63 players have left the UCLA program since Kelly took over. Two years ago, Jim Mora Jr. and Chip Kelly essentially traded jobs. Since then, both UCLA and ESPN2’s late night show have suffered immensely.

Finally, another solid episode of The Walking Dead went down last night on AMC. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it so read no further if that is the case. Carol is dangling upside down and killing walkers. I’m pretty sure Alpha has no idea what bad ass Carol is capable of. Interesting that Carol’s dream about her family life includes Daryl, but after 10 seasons of this show they just can seem to get together. Negan is back so I guess I should go get my shitting pants on for the rest of the season. Eugene is getting friend zoned so hard by Rosita. I have no idea why Daryl said his dad wasn’t a truck drive after telling Carol a story about his dad being a truck driver. The fact that I’m thoroughly confused about this makes me happy that the writers are creating something interesting here. This whole Aaron & Negan dynamic is as close to them trying to re-create Negan and Rick in the comics. Afterall, Aaron also has one hand like Rick does in the comics. Although at the moment, peanut butter and jelly don’t really like each other. Good episode, looking forward to seeing this conflict with The Whisperers escalate.

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Monday Morning Coffee

October 14, 2019

I was there and it was awful. Game 5 of the NLDS was like watching a horror movie where you see people make stupid decisions, and it’s only a matter of time before the killer brutally murders someone. Yes, Clayton Kershaw didn’t come through again in the playoffs, and we all feel terrible, but there’s a much larger portion of the blame that needs to go to Andrew Friedman. Friedman is telling Dave Roberts how to manage, and he decided they were going to use Kershaw in that game 5 the night before. Yes they went with their gut rather than analytics, but that resulted in more bad decisions like Friedman and Roberts usually make in October. If I have to ask Kershaw to pitch in the 7th and 8th inning of game 5, it means I didn’t build a good enough bullpen. The same issue Friedman has had every year he’s been with the Dodgers. Kershaw might not be the same player in the postseason, but Friedman’s failures are a large contributor to the Kershaw narrative.

Speaking of awful, that’s exactly what the Rams offense was yesterday against the 49ers. All those nerds at Comic Con scored more this weekend than the Rams did. It’s definitely time to start worrying. The Rams are 2.5 games behind the 49ers, and without Todd Gurley unleashed, the offense isn’t nearly as dynamic or dangerous. The offensive line is also a big issue, and once again, they gave Jared Goff no time to make throws. The best thing the Rams have going for them is their schedule. Even though they are on the road for the next month, they have winnable games at the Falcons and Bengals coming up, followed by a bye week to get healthy. The number of 49ers fans at the game was also alarming, but I would chalk this one up to LA fans having PTSD from the Dodgers, and the Rams off to a so-so start.

On the other hand, I’m not sure what’s the Chargers excuse is for sucking and having no fans. The Chargers played a Steelers team that was playing their 3rd string quarterback, and they got blown off the field. You would think the Bolts would take the money they saved by not paying Melvin Gordon and pay for an offensive lineman or two, but no. I’m not sure if the Chargers decided to kick a field goal when they were down 24-0 because they thought it would be a good strategic move, or because they wanted to avoid the embarrassment of being shutout “at home”. The Chiefs aren’t even running away with the division anymore, but the Bolts are doing nothing about it. Philip Rivers has more children than the Chargers had fans that attended the game. Go back to San Diego already and take the Clippers with you.

Elsewhere around the NFL in Week 6, after losing to the Jets, the Cowboys have been relegated to the XFL. After the Eagles lost to the Falcons, Philly will need to make another “rage room” for their fans to break things like the Flyers did. Remember when we were told Baker Mayfield was an MVP candidate and the Browns were Super Bowl contenders? Me neither. I’m sure the Dolphins will be voting for Bernie Sanders. Under his plan, any team with 12 or more wins will have to donate a win to Miami. Jameis Winston and Marcus Mariota came into the NFL in the same year, and come out of the NFL in the same year. Both are now turnover machines.

We’re just a week away from the NBA season getting underway, and the Lakers have to be holding their breath already on Anthony Davis. AD injured his thumb in Saturday’s preseason loss to the Nets. Somebody needs to put this man in bubble wrap until the season starts. This team can win the NBA title , but they are going to have to run the perfect race. Not expending too much energy during the regular season, getting guys rest and keeping them healthy, but winning enough games to have favorable position in the West. Sooner than later though, Frank Vogel is going to have to play a real rotation in the preseason so this team can build some chemistry. Until then, Dwight Howard will be playing video games, slamming candy, and buying more snakes.

Oh by the way, the Clippers have also been playing NBA preseason games. Were you aware? Did you care? Well it just so happens the Clippers lost by 20 points to the Nuggets in the preseason. If the Lakers lost by 20 points in the preseason, the media would spend the next week talking about how Anthony Davis and Lebron have no chemistry, how the Lakers are dysfunctional, and can’t defend anybody. Meanwhile, nobody says anything about the Clippers because nobody gives a damn about them. Actually, the only time somebody feels the need to comment on them, it’s usually to ask the question of whether or not they are better than the Lakers, or to slander the Lake Show. That should tell you everything about their relevance in the LA sports landscape.

Then there’s the crisis the NBA is dealing with in China. We just spent the last couple of seasons hearing the players and the league stand up for freedom, freedom of speech, human rights, and racial equality. Now that China is a massive financial partner for the league, everyone is afraid to express how they really feel and rally behind Daryl Morey’s tweet against China’s dictatorship. I’m not saying the league doesn’t have a right to play it safe and not take a political stance because the financial implications are so great. However, when this is over, the league and the players shouldn’t be parading around pretending like they are political and social crusaders. Otherwise, nobody would be able to take them seriously.

I hear local grocery stores in LA are offering free tickets to USC games with their purchase of $35 or more of groceries. That’s perfect so Trojan fans can cover their heads with the grocery bags during the games. USC didn’t embarrass themselves on Saturday against Notre Dame, and their talent helped keep them in the game against a good team, but their coaching couldn’t help them win it. Not sure why Clay Helton believes in running back by committee when Markese Stepp is averaging 7 yards a carry. Don’t be surprised if Notre Dame sneaks into the College Football Playoff again. They just moved up to 8th in the AP Poll, and 4 of the 7 teams in front of them are going to play each other before the season is over. Carol Folt was ready to fire Clay Helton then she got distracted checking out referees.

Finally, another episode of The Walking Dead went down last night on AMC. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it. It was a little earlier than I thought, but I loved seeing an episode fully dedicated to the Alpha backstory. I’d love to see one dedicated to Negan as well. The fact that Lydia cleans herself off and Alpha doesn’t says everything about her character. Anybody else think Alpha was going to savagely squeeze that woman’s head like a grape? She was just playing with human remains like she’s peeling potatoes on a Sunday afternoon. Beta is like a cross between Michael Myers and Jason from Friday the 13th. Maybe the weirdest moment in 10 seasons of the show was seeing Alpha and Beta hold hands. Bummer we didn’t get to see who Beta is under the mask, but overall, good episode. Now somebody get this woman some skin care products immediately.

Monday Morning Coffee

October 7, 2019

For the last 6 months you’ve wondered why I just won’t lay off the Dodgers. I was ready to lay into them on Monday Morning Coffee. Then Russell Martin turned back the clock like Frank McCourt still owned the team and helped them open up a can in the 6th inning last night. This series isn’t over, but the Dodgers have the edge. I’ve always been nervous about the Dodger pen, but when you look at the Nationals’ pen it makes Joe Kelly and Kenley Jansen look like Dennis Eckersley and Mariano Rivera. The Nationals have two pitchers left they can trust in Scherzer and Strasburg. They can only pitch so many innings, but at some point, the Dodgers need to him them if they are going to the NLCS. Hopefully Cody Bellinger is ready to break out because up until the 6th inning, he had disappeared like Jimmy Hoffa. Corey Seager hadn’t shown much life either and hasn’t driven anybody home since high school Prom. Meanwhile, AJ Pollock should be chained to the bench in favor of Enrique Hernandez until he figures it out. This has nothing to do with your tired “Playoff Kershaw” narrative, or that Kenley Jansen might not have it anymore. This team needs to have discipline at the plate when they are facing elite pitching. And for god sakes Andrew Friedman, did you really need to make Dave Roberts take out Hyun-Jin Ryu after 74 pitches when he was cruising? When their bullpen is dog tired this evening it could come back to bite them. Dodger baseball is sure to give you plenty of anxiety come October.

Elsewhere around the MLB playoffs, the postseason doesn’t actually start until the Oakland A’s lose in the Wild Card game. A tradition unlike any other. Why isn’t TBS using Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith on these broadcasts? They would probably know as much as they do when they stick them on the March Madness broadcasts. Gerrit Cole had so many strikeouts in game 2 of the ALDS vs Tampa, if you read the box score and looked at the long list of “k”‘s and nothing else, it looks like an angry girlfriend responding to a series of texts. The Twins have been bleeding runs against the Yankees. Their best chance to win the series is if the Yankees have some plane trouble, and can’t fly back to Minnesota for games 3 and 4. Let’s just get to the Yankees and Astros already.

The Angels are just fooling everyone and are going to hire Joe Maddon right? They wouldn’t really be foolish enough to fire Brad Ausmus just one year in, and not have a plan in place…….right? Stay tuned because it’s either the Halos know something, or Arte Moreno and Billy Eppler are total buffoons. It’s one or the other and nothing in between.

To the NBA, where the Lakers opened up the preseason on Saturday night at the new Chase Center against the Warriors. I know I know. All of you “prisoner of the moment” Laker fans saw AD and Lebron play one half of basketball and you can barely stay in your shoes. Look, it’s Lebron and Anthony Davis. If you think they weren’t going to be good together you probably don’t understand basketball. However, it’s also preseason, so we shouldn’t be drawing too many conclusions, other than the fact Magic Johnson still looks like a fool on Twitter. Still, one thing that’s safe to conclude is that this team clearly looks like they are enjoying playing with each other, and are having fun in the early going. That’s something that seemed nonexistent last year. Also, watch out for Alex Caruso. He may look like a 7th grade math teacher, but he’s going to be a significant part of the rotation.

Meanwhile, I hope Kawhi Leonard and Paul George are enjoying their experience in LA so far. Everywhere they go, they are getting booed. Dodger games, Ram games, coffee shops. This is how it is, and how it should be. I’m not sure Kawhi Leonard really cares, because all he cares about are the 50 cent chicken wings he eats at Wing Stop. However, Paul George probably does care because he wanted to be loved coming back home. The Clippers also need to hope that when PG13 recovers from his shoulder injury, “Playoff P” isn’t the same dude that got locked up by Joe Ingles in the 1st round.

To the NFL, where watching the Rams play defense for 4 quarters is more frustrating than watching a Democratic or Republican debate on TV. Marcus Peters and the secondary have been burned repeatedly in the last two weeks, and their offensive line has been wildly inconsistent. Nevertheless, the last two losses are nothing to get too down about. Jared Goff is making big throws, Todd Gurley is starting to look like Todd Gurley again, and the Rams had a chance to win the last two games despite their issues. This team is still a good bet to win the division, and I can assure you that Sean McVay is going to do everything he can to fix the offensive line and clean up the secondary as the season goes on.

Is there a bigger embarrassment than the Chargers? They got manhandled by a Broncos team that was coming in winless. I would say they got beat at home, but the entire stadium was decked out in Orange, so it was most definitely not a home game. Philip Lindsay ran all over the Bolts like he was Bo Jackson. Plus the most “Charger thing” ever was seeing them turn the ball over twice inside the Denver 5 yard line. I’m not sure how much longer the Chargers plan on screwing around with games like this, but it’s sure to cost them a playoff spot. This isn’t about the injuries. It’s about lack of focus and lack of execution when it matters. That sounds like Charger football.

Elsewhere around Week 5, the NFL sent the Raiders and Bears to play in London, and England has informed the US that the next time they send these two teams to play in their country they will consider it an act of terror and will declare war on the US. The Redskins just having a 7-0 lead on the Patriots was the highlight of their season. The Vikings must be pleased they got a few dollars worth this week on their $100 million investment in Kirk Cousins and Adam Thielen. Jared Cook got hit so hard in that Saints vs Bucks game, he suddenly remembered how to catch TD passes. The Dolphins are so bad, they were defeated soundly by their bye week. Dear NFL Redzone…..we didn’t need to see any of the Cardinals-Bengals. We’re good.

If Chip Kelly’s goal is to show everyone that he can evolve with the game of football, he’s failing miserably at UCLA. He’s not only shown that he can’t develop Dorian-Thompson Robinson, he can’t even re-invent a system around him that is effective. Kelly insists that his old high tempo offense is outdated, but his new offense is hot garbage. He also has gotten two great performances from Demetrius Felton in the last 3 games, yet Felton’s playing time is wildly inconsistent. This man has absolutely no idea what he’s doing, and the most alarming aspect of it is he sounds completely indifferent to whether or not he succeeds. UCLA is now losing home games to Oregon State. The team hasn’t been this bad since World War II, and back then it didn’t cost $25 million to lose games like it does now.

Thanks to a new California law, the NCAA now must allow their athletes to make money off their likeness. I wonder if that means USC athletes will get paid more than are now? In all seriousness, I’m come around quite a bit on this issue. The NCAA is one of the most corrupt organizations around, but they have tried to bamboozle people for years thinking that they are all about education and school pride. Wrong. The NCAA is about making millions of dollars at the expense of football and men’s basketball players. These student athletes don’t need to make millions of dollars, but they need money to by textbooks, and afford a meal on a Friday night. A scholarship by itself does not allow for those things. Not to mention that for the rare extremely elite athletes like Zion Williamson, they should be compensated for bringing millions of dollars to the school. We don’t stop music majors from making money on record deals while in school, so why should we stop athletes? This might be a huge advantage for USC and UCLA in recruiting until you realize they have dopes like Chip Kelly and Clay Helton in charge.

Finally, the season premiere of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. The show started off slow, but the last 15 minutes were pretty awesome. Typical… Russians interfering with the zombie apocalypse too. Elections aren’t enough. I hope Oceanside burns down at this point. Where did everybody get all this weaponry? It’s like they found a Game of Thrones rummage sale in the apocalypse. Of course Eugene was super creepy looking at Rosita while she was breast feeding. Seeing Darryl and Carol reunited was the feel good moment of the premiere, I’m sure some of you wanted to grab a tissue when the friendship bracelet came out. Of course the stare down at the end between Carol and Alpha was pretty epic too. At some point I hope Carol will make her “look at the flowers.” The show has a much different feel and isn’t the same without Rick Grimes, but they are keeping it interesting so far.

Monday Morning Coffee

September 30, 2019

Here we are. End of the baseball regular season, and I’m not sure how any of you aren’t dreading what we’re going to see. Dave Roberts just told us that Kenley Jansen is still an elite closer. I can’t tell if he’s serious, or if he’s auditioning for the White House Press Secretary job. Joe Kelly has been so bad in the last month that he should be downgraded from a lower body injury to a “total body injury”. Verdugo, Hill, and Turner are all hurt, Lux and Smith are in a slump. If you’re not worried you’re an Astro or Yankee fan. Just getting out of the NL is going to be tough enough with the flaws the Dodgers have.

Meanwhile, the Angels mercifully wrapped up their season yesterday. The latest noise surrounding the Halos is whether or not they will pursue Joe Maddon and replace Brad Ausmus. I didn’t really think managing was the problem until I heard Ausmus defend Pitching Coach Doug White the other day by saying “He’s good but learning the in-game stuff.” Dude that came with 6 games left in the season, and the guy is still trying to figure it out! Maddon might help a little, but most GM’s like Billy Eppler just want a “yes man” who can read the instructions off a spreadsheet. Maddon is not that. However, what the Angels really need is a boatload of pitching and several more David Fletchers to compete.

To the NFL, where the Rams didn’t have it yesterday against the Bucs. I know inflation is a real killer, but apparently $194 million doesn’t buy what it used to. Yesterday it got the Rams four turnovers from Jared Goff, which each resulted in Bucs touchdowns, and a loss to the wildly inconsistent Jameis Winston. Of course Ndamukong Suh’s biggest play at the Coliseum came against the Rams, rather than when he was with them last season. If Jared Goff is under pressure or faces bad weather, he’s clearly not the same quarterback. Pressure was the culprit yesterday. Suddenly things are looking really cloudy for the Rams: a banged up secondary that got torched against the Bucs, and now they have to go on the road to face Seattle in a short week. This team has a lot of work to do if they have aspirations of getting back to the Super Bowl.

Had the Chargers lost that game to the Dolphins yesterday they should not have been allowed to come back to LA. Having the Dolphins on the schedule is a gift wrapped win for any NFL team, and the Bolts desperately needed it after a rocky 1-2 start coming into the game. Melvin Gordon is back with the team, but the guy looks like a fool. He’s making $5 mill this year, held out for $14 mill, the Chargers offered him $10 mill, and he didn’t accept. The Bolts pulled their $10 mill offer, and now he’s coming back to the team with his tail between his legs rather than holding out until November, when he has to report. I guess there were only so many cameo appearances he could do on Ballers before deciding to come back. The good news for the Bolts is they play a bunch of scrub teams in the Broncos and Steelers at home the next two weeks, so they can bank a few more much needed wins.

Elsewhere around Week 4, after watching yesterday’s Redskins-Giants game it’s clear that Jon and Jay Gruden have more in common than just their last name. Dwayne Haskins was probaly making more money at Ohio State. The Patriots got by the Bills, and Josh Allen got hit so hard he thought he was back at Wyoming. Cam Newton should enjoy his time off, but at this rate he might not have a job when he returns. Christian McCaffrey is the real Superman. The Browns beat the Ravens, but Jarvis Landry is nothing but drama. He made a business decision to not get hit, resulting in a Baker Mayfield interception. Of course karma came back to get him when he suffered a concussion later in the game.

https://twitter.com/WillBrinson/status/1178368074153676801

On to College Football where USC was beaten down by Washington over the weekend in Seattle. The final score of 28-14 was really not indicative of just how badly USC was dominated. In reality, the beating was so bad that somebody probably should have called child protective services. Clay Helton is not good coach, and his comments around improving discipline early in the season are laughable now given all the penalties his team takes. That’s not to mention the fact he isn’t developing anybody, and his schemes stink. It’s gotten so bad that the truly elite recruits are losing confidence in the school’s ability to develop and are now going elsewhere. Firing him now won’t matter, but I think it’s safe to say he will be replaced when the season is over. SC is a perfect 19-0 at the Coliseum when Reggie Bush is on the field, including last week when Bush was on the Fox telecast. Maybe they should pay him to take up residence there? Oh wait they already did that!

Then there’s UCLA, who reminded everyone that they still are a bad football team after losing to Arizona. You thought for just a second that Chip Kelly remembered how to coach. Then he said “hold my beer”, and gave up 451 yards to an Arizona team that started their backup quarterback. Speaking of backup quarterbacks, you think Dorian Thompson-Robinson isn’t very good? Wait until you see how bad Austin Burton is. The worst part about this is that Chip Kelly looks like he doesn’t even care. I guess it’s easy not to when you know you have $20+ million guaranteed to you over the next 4 years. This man has completely gutted the program of top-tier talented upperclassmen and for what? So he can lose games every week to mediocre competition? This embarrassment has no end in sight.

To the NBA, where the Lakers held their media day on Friday. I don’t know if the Lakers are ready for the start of the season, but they sure sound like they are ready. This year there is much less noise from Magic Johnson, less questions about the future of the young core, and more focus around what this team needs to do to contend for a title. However, I find stories about whether or not Anthony Davis will re-sign with the Lakers laughable at this point. I realize some of these writers need clicks, but apparently logic is not something these writers use. AD shares an agent with Lebron James. Lebron James made Rich Paul. As long as Lebron James remains with the Lakers, which is guaranteed for the next two years, AD will remain a Laker. It’s as simple as that. One thing that is concerning however is the Lakers preseason trip to China. That sounds cool until you realize it’s a sure way to start the season slowly. Have you ever been to China? Unless you enjoy eating fried snakes and scorpions, it’s crummy food and weeks of jet lag guaranteed after coming back.

Finally, speaking of the NBA, ESPN did their annual NBA player rankings. As usual these rankings we’re clearly not based on a damn thing other than who these writers hold a grudge against, what they remember from watching the last 5 mins of NBA basketball, what Siri and Alexa told them, and what will get them the most clicks. That probably explains why these morons named Giannis as the best player, followed by Kawhi, who shut down Giannis in the Eastern Conference Finals a few months ago. That stupidity was also in full effect by putting Harden over Steph Curry, after Steph has changed basketball the last 5 years, and Klay Thompson being ranked as the 49th best player. I can just see Kevin Pelton, Jackie MacMullon, Brian Windhorst, and Kirk Goldsberry, taking a swig of tequila and having a good laugh while coming up with this list.

Monday Morning Coffee

September 23, 2019

The Rams are 3-0 and they haven’t even played that well. Their defense is legit. Goff and their receivers are making plays, but Todd Gurley is being preserved until it’s prime time. Sean McVay’s in-game adjustments are next level, and continue to keep this team winning. Goff wasn’t amazing last night, but he played much better than his often “road Goff” performances. I’m sure that won’t sit well with some of you since he has enough money to buy the city of Cleveland at this point, but for a guy who is 24 years old, he’s already growing and will continue to get better. I don’t care what the Cowboys, Packers, and 49ers look like. The Rams are still the best team in the NFC.

The Chargers are capable of beating any team in the NFL. Actually, the only team that seems to beat them consistently is themselves, as well as the 2nd half. That was exactly what happened yesterday when they coughed up a 17-7 lead in the 2nd half to fall to 1-2. Philip Rivers was running for his life all day, and the Chargers inexperienced secondary was lit on fire by Deshaun Watson. These types of losses are going to kill the Bolts come playoff time. If you had a dollar for every time the Chargers choked in the 2nd half, you’d be rich enough to build them a stadium. Sounds like they are going to need that after it’s now being reported they aren’t pulling their weight in ticket sales for the new stadium, and the Rams would love to remove them from the equation. Looks like the Rams and Chargers are developing a rivalry, it’s just between the owners.

Elsewhere around week 3 in the NFL, Antonio Brown is the first player in league history to have his jersey from three different teams on clearance racks at the same time. Somebody get this man a therapist and some meds. Antonio Cromartie has more kids than the Dolphins have points this season. Patrick Mahomes and Lamar Jackson is being advertised as the next “Brady vs Manning.” They are pretty entertaining, except Tom Brady is still in the league and tearing it up. Eli Manning isn’t coming back off the bench anytime soon. Apparently the Saints are still really good without Drew Brees, while the Steelers are still bad without Big Ben.

This weekend was a reminder of just how messed up USC football is. They defeated a top 10 team in Utah with their 3rd string quarterback, and then the next day they lost their commitment from Mater Dei Quarterback Bryce Young, who decided he will attend Alabama next year. The fact USC is able to beat a top 10 team, and even be in the same discussion with recruits that Alabama is getting goes to show you just how bad the coaching is. If USC hired a coach who had some idea how to recruit, develop talent, and ran a more modern offensive scheme, they could be as elite as they like to think of themselves. However, for those of you wanting to hire Urban Meyer, you apparently forgot that USC is actually a University and not an NFL team. Also, this moment on Saturday night is so typical of the NCAA. It’s like they radioed in to the ref to break up the Reggie Bush celebration.

I have no idea what happened in Pullman on Saturday night. Chip Kelly managed to turn the clock back for exactly 1.5 quarters. Somehow the Bruins managed to erase a 32-point deficit and find the win column for the first time this year. I’m going to chalk this up to an isolated incident for now. The Bruins gave up 720 yards of total offense and allowed a starting QB to throw 9 TD passes against them. Chip Kelly can’t coach football anymore. He says he’s trying to learn the personnel, and that “it’s a consistency thing.” Yes Chip your teams consistently suck at all levels over the last half decade, and considering you chased off 30-scholarship players from the Jim Mora era, it’s not going to get any better anytime soon. UCLA needs to pray this guy quits.

The best news that UCLA got last week though was that Dan Guerrero is finally going to retire. Before making too much fun of Guerrero’s futility as an AD, I do wish him a speedy recovery from his battle with cancer, and thankfully things seem to be under control. With that being said though, Guerrero’s true failures are letting the basketball program free fall in reputation since Ben Howland left the program. With rumors that Fresno State AD Terry Tumey is a front-runner for the job, or possibly Villanova AD Mark Jackson if he doesn’t go to USC, hopefully one of these dudes won’t be spending their time slamming donuts like Gurrero, and turn around both the basketball and football programs in Westwood.

Notre Dame put up a good fight against Georgia on Saturday night. Unfortunately, they won’t get as much credit for hanging tough as Georgia will when they get blown out by Alabama. Look, the Manti Teo girlfriend jokes were funny back in 2012, but not so much anymore. However, the College Game Day signs were pretty funny….


I can’t believe some of you actually think this is the Dodger team that is going to win the World Series for the first time in 31 years. Let me remind you that the Dodgers once had Clayton Kershaw and Kenley Jansen in their prime, and at the top of their game. They couldn’t win it when they had those two, and a crummy bullpen. Now Kershaw and Jansen are in decline, and they have the same crummy bullpen. You really expect them to compete with the likes of the Yankees, Astros, let alone come out of the NL with much more formidable opponents? If that’s the case then you probably believe in unicorns and the tooth fairy as well.

Finally, I just can’t do it anymore. I have to pull the plug on Fear The Walking Dead. I tried. However, the show is way too confusing with it’s timeline jumps, it’s killed off all the interesting characters, and unless it can tie to the actual Walking Dead show in some way, then it’s doomed to fail. This also explains why the ratings are sinking faster than the Titanic. It’s gotten so bad they don’t even air “Talking Dead” after the show to discuss it. Heck, if The Walking Dead doesn’t get their act together soon, I might pull the plug on that one too. Sad because at one point it was one of the better shows on television.

Monday Morning Coffee

September 16, 2019

The Rams handled business yesterday against the Saints. It wasn’t much of a fair fight given that Drew Brees left early with an injury, but their defense was phenomenal. Assuming that Brees is going to be ok though, I sure hope these teams get to meet again in the NFC Championship game this season. However, are we really going to have to hear more whining from Saints fans about getting screwed again on another call? I’m sure New Orleans is going to be upset. Gayle Benson will probably call the NBA office and demand more from the Lakers in the Anthony Davis trade out of spite, and demand an investigation by the FBI on the officiating. Look, yesterday was a bad call. Jared Goff really fumbled. The playoff game they got screwed too. However, the Saints offense did nothing yesterday, so I don’t want to hear any crying about the officials. Get over it and move on. Besides, the refs looked completely competent before the game…

What a typical Charger game that was. It’s like they are breeding their kickers to suck. Regardless of all the injuries, they should have won that game. Can Philip Rivers stick any of his kids on the offensive line or at defensive back? Better yet, can any of them kick a field goal? He only has 27 to choose from. It’s clear the Chargers don’t miss Melvin Gordon because Austin Ekeler is in beast mode. However, they clearly are still untrustworthy in close games, especially with their kicking issues. Only the Chargers could play in a soccer stadium, yet have some of the worst kickers in the world. Tom Telesco should be spending the next couple of weeks scouting every MLS team in the country to see if he can find somebody halfway decent to do the job.

Elsewhere around Week 2 in the NFL, the Dolphins are so bad, Roger Goodell has called the ACC in attempts to trade them for Clemson. The Jaguars lost to the Texans, but Gardner Minshew definitely looks like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite, and acts like him too by stretching in the locker room with only his jock strap on. Do NFL GM’s still think Lamar Jackson is a running back? If so, that type of logic makes them qualified to be the next AD at USC (more on that in a moment). Dak Prescott looks amazing and his bank account will be too very soon. The Vikings lost to the Packers, and if Kirk Cousins isn’t arrested for stealing money from Minnesota, then white privilege really does exist. I was going to bag on Cam Newton for laying an egg on Thursday, but the guy looks so physically beat up, wouldn’t be surprised if he pulls an Andrew Luck and retires.

To College Football where USC’s stay in the Top 25 was about as short as Peter Dinklage. The Trojans made BYU’s season by losing to them in OT on Saturday night. The ginger-ale was really flowing in Provo after that one. In typical Clay Helton fashion, USC had no offensive rhythm, their offensive line was pushed around, and their tackling was worse than a Pee Wee football team. I guess Kedon Slovis might not be the next Sam Darnold after all. The Trojans could easily have a losing record after the next 3 games against ranked opponents. It also looks as though President Carol Folt is planning a huge overhaul of the program after dismissing Lynn Swann (I mean after he “resigned”). Swann can continue doing what he’s always been doing, which is playing golf. Folt appointed Dave Roberts as the interim AD, and passing up Senior Associate AD Steve Lopes. Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if OJ Simpson ends up as the next Athletic Director knowing this schools ethics.

Meanwhile, UCLA is a total disaster. They were murdered by Oklahoma at the Rose Bowl on Saturday, in a game that was made even more embarrassing by the fact 60% of the stands were filled with Sooner fans. Chip Kelly is making Jim Mora Jr. look like Bill Belichick. There is absolutely nothing going right with this program. The Bruins need to pray that Kelly just gets so sick of losing that he quits. Hard to imagine with him swimming in money, but stranger things have happened. Not only can the man not recruit, it’s crystal clear that his system is more outdated than a VCR. Prepare for some major irrelevance for a while Bruin fans.

Let’s talk some hoops. The Celtics not only lost to France, but they finished 7th in the World Championship tournament. No not Team USA, the Celtics. We sent 4 Boston Celtic players. You think if we sent 4 Los Angeles Lakers we would have finished 7th? I don’t want to hear the media try to tell me how great this young Celtics core is again. The same Celtics core that was supposedly “head and shoulders” better than any other trade package for Anthony Davis. These guys should be deported to Siberia for embarrassing our country.

The Dodgers clinched the division earlier in the week, but the playoff competition looks absolutely miserable to go up against. Facing the Nationals with Scherzer, Strasburg, and Corbin? No thanks. Going up against the Cubs? Have you seen how the Dodgers are giving up home runs of late? The Cardinals? Nightmares from the past forever. The Braves? Not the same jokers they beat up on in the past. I haven’t even gotten to how awful it would be playing the Astros or Yankees. I also don’t care what Dave Roberts says: home field advantage if vital for the Dodgers. in 54 League Championship and World Series since 2001, teams with home field advantage win the series 60% of the time. The Dodgers are also 36 games above .500 at home, and only 8 games aboive .500 on the road. So don’t tell me it’s not “win at all cost” important Dave Roberts. No matter what the spreadsheet is telling you.

At least the Angels have figured out this whole tanking thing. They’ve lost 6 of their last 7, and they are shutting down players left and right for the rest of the season. I guess elbow injuries are played out with this team, so they are starting a new trend with lower body injuries. Mike Trout, Justin Upton, and Shoehei Ohtani have all been shutdown in the last week with injuries to their lower extremities. I’m not even sure having $34 million to spend this off-season can make up a 30 game difference between the Angels and the Astros. At least Mike Trout is a good bet to win the MVP.