Monthly Archives: February 2020

Monday Morning Coffee

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February 17, 2020

I don’t know about you but the Lakers should be very pleased where they are at the All-Star break. For a team that you thought would need time to gel compared to every other team, it’s not so bad being in 1st place. Bet you also didn’t expect that a guy who looked like a high school math teacher, Alex Caruso, would be helping the Lakers win in crunch time. The only teams the Lakers should be concerned about are the Clippers and Bucks, but they can beat them as currently constructed. As for buyout candidates, the guy the Lakers should consider is Lance Stephenson. He’s played with Lebron, he’s played for Frank Vogel, he’s a solid wing defender, and he’s a play maker, Plus every championship team needs at least one crazy guy. Do it Pelinka!

As for the Clippers, Stephen A. Smith said they have “5 dogs”. If that’s true, Paul George must be a poodle, while Pat Beverly is a mini Chihuahua, Kawhi is the robot dog from Jimmy Neutron, and Montrezl is Chinese Crested because he is ugly as hell. How did Paul George convince Kawhi he’s a better #2 than Pascal Siakam? George disappears like Houdini in every big game, and wants no part of the big stage. This may cost the Clippers in the playoffs like they don’t even know.

As for All-Star Weekend, it was wonderful seeing a very competitive 4th quarter, and see these guys actually compete. Kobe would have been proud. Chaka Kahn singing the National Anthem made my ears bleed. Might as well have sung “Happy Birthday Mr. President.” Jennifer Hudson’s tribute to Kobe was phoenomenal, and Common was sensational introducing all the All-Stars. Aaron Gordon is the Rodney Dangerfield of the NBA Slam Dunk Contest: “No Respect!” Aaron Gordon basically flew over the Pacific Ocean, smacked the Statue of Liberty on the butt, took a self in mid-air with the ball, then landed in the United Center and dunks it, but the judges were like…..

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To baseball where the Astros are now saying that they had nothing to do with the sign stealing allegations, the equipment wasn’t their’s. They were just holding it for a friend and testing it through the year to make sure it still worked. Sure. That’s basically what Carlos Correa said when he angrily responded to Cody Bellinger’s comments ripping their players. Correa can rationalize what they were doing to make it palatable in his own mind that the Astros won the 2017 World Series “fair and square”, but you don’t get to pick and choose when stealing signs was right and when it was wrong. Also, Commissioner Rob Manfred is unfit to run a hot dog stand, let alone Major League Baseball. The fact he won’t strip the Astros of their title simply means he has no principles and integrity.

I need to issue an apology to Mick Cronin and the UCLA Basketball team. I was wondering about Cronin and if he was really Steve Lavin. Cronin knows infinitely more basketball than Lavin. However, he’s really more like Ben Howland. He’s all about defense and the grind mentality. The Bruins are embracing this and after sweeping the Washington schools, they may be building some momentum toward being a bubble team.

I think the Rams would be foolish to trade Todd Gurley. The Rams real problems are their offensive line. I don’t know what Gurley did to Sean McVay, but he must have hit on his hot new Euro fiance to piss him off and not give him a consistent work load. Gurley can still play if you get the right guys to open holes for him.

Do you really think the Chargers are going to pick up Tom Brady or Cam Newton? The fact Coach Anthony Lynn said that Tyrod Taylor has a chance to be the starting QB should tell you everything you need to know. They have no intention of paying big money for anybody because that’s what they’ve done historically. They also are clueless about the importance of big names and selling tickets when moving into a new stadium.

Arte Moreno is a fool. The man could have had a very useful left fielder in Joc Pederson and an even more useful starter in Ross Stripling had he just been a little more patient. I thought Arte stopped interfering with transactions after the Josh Hamilton debacle a few years ago. Apparently he got tired of not screwing things up himself anymore, so he’s back at it.

Finally, The Bachelor went down on ABC last week, and it’s back tonight with home town dates. Victoria F finds a way to complain every time she gets a rose from Peter. Peter was really dodging questions about his religion like Trump dodges questions at an impeachment hearing during his date with Madison. Do you realize the most mature contestant of the final four just spilled champagne all of her face? Can the producers just send Peter home already? I can already tell this season is going to end and we’re going to tell ourselves “why do I watch this show again?”

Monday Morning Coffee

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February 10, 2020

Relax Laker fans.   So they didn’t make a trade at the deadline and they shouldn’t have.  Every team was asking for multiple starters, the Laker girls, a dinner with Jack Nicholson, and a chance to touch the championship trophy.  Props to Rob Pelinka for at least trying to get a deal done with limited assets.   This team looks physically and mentally exhausted, and needs the All-Star break to recover. Seeing the best player in franchise history pass away will do that to you.   Yes Darren Collison or Andre Iguodola would have been nice, but they have enough to win as is. Collison must have really just wanted a free dinner at The Palms and courtside seats to a game with Jeanie, because that meeting was a serious waste of time.  By the way, this man has a $100 million contract with the Knicks in his future….

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Meanwhile, the Clippers took advantage of the Knicks and acquired Marcus Morris.  After firing their President, the Clips took advantage of them like that new guy in your fantasy basketball league that has no idea what he’s doing.  Interestingly enough, Mo Harkless could get bought out by the Knicks, who could be a good buyout candidate the Lakers could sign.  Harkless probably has all kinds of inside info on what kind of personality disorder Kawhi has that led him to sign with the Clippers.  By the way, the Clippers lost by 30 to the Wolves, and of course nobody talks about it.  That’s because nobody cares about them.

Elsewhere around the NBA Trade deadline, the Pistons traded Andre Drummond to the Cavs for a can of Coke, and a pair of nose bleed seats to a Browns game.  Andre Iguodola just sat out for 6 months and is getting another $30 million.  This country is amazing.  Everyone and their aunts, uncles, cousins, lions, tigers, and bears got traded as part of the Hawks, Nuggets, Rockets, and Wolves trade.

As you all know, Dodger President of Baseball Operations Andrew Friedman is my whipping boy on Jock Talk LA. However, I’m going to take this opportunity to actually give him credit for making a great trade now that it’s official. Mookie Betts, the 2nd best player in baseball, and David Price are now Dodgers, and Friedman gave up nothing more than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Congrats Andrew. You’ve earned yourself a good two weeks without me complaining about your penny pinching philosophy. I have to say that the Angels really got screwed in this deal though by the Red Sox waffling, because they really could have used Joc Pederson and Ross Stripling. As nice as it would be for Friedman to keep those guys though, they should try to move them for a high leverage bullpen arm. That way we won’t all be sweating bullets come October with the likes of Kershaw, Price, and Jansen on the mound.

The LA Kings are a disaster. We’re talking Iowa Caucuses level disaster. They are bleeding losses, and while you think it’s great they are going to get another great draft pick it doesn’t mean anything. The Kings have the #1 ranked farm system in the league already. However, their system is broken, their culture has disappeared like Joe Biden, and their front office has no idea what they are doing. The latest trade by GM Rob Blake demonstrates a complete mismanagement of the trade value of goalie Jack Campbell, and the complete mismanagement of the salary cap by retaining salary for Kyle Clifford. Blake is now responsible for putting $11 million in dead money on the salary cap. This guy is burning money faster than Enron did. That’s 2-3 quality players they could use with that money. It doesn’t matter what the Kings do in the draft if they don’t fix their misguided system, their inept front office, and their leadership.

I can’t tell if UCLA basketball is really making progress, or if they are just re-living the Steve Lavin era. The Bruins dismantled Arizona over the weekend, and have now won five of their last seven games, including wins over Top 25 ranked Arizona and Colorado. In the Lavin era, they got up for good teams, and lost to bad ones. The fact the Bruins are playing lock down defense at times makes me think it might be more of an effort issue. Only time will tell with another month to go before PAC 12 Tournament time.

That was very bold of ABC to assume that we had five hours to spend watching The Bachelor this week. Gotta love how Hannah Ann didn’t love someone she dated for over 3 years but she thinks she can fall in love with Peter in 6 weeks. Did anybody else open a bottle of champagne when Victoria P, Tammy, Mykenna, and Sydney all went home in the same night? It had to be fun when Mykenna and Tammy ran into each other at the airport. I can’t decide if all the girls are awful, if Peter is a terrible Bachelor, or all of the above? This outfit makes me think the producers are intentionally sabotaging the season:

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Finally, the Oscars went down on ABC last night! Florence Pugh and Margot Robbie really lost to Laura Dern? They should have just asked Chris Rock and Steve Martin to host the entire show. Pretty savage that they didn’t nominate any female directors, yet Rock had to make jokes about the fact there are no women. They are probably going to lose their Amazon Prime status though. Brad Pitt definitely destroyed the GOP with his comment on John Bolton. Holy 2002! Eminem brought the house down with “Lose Yourself”. Who knew that Chrissy Metz could sing? They had presenters for presenters, but nobody to introduce her. Someone tell Diane Keaton we get it….she had sex with Keanu Reeves. That felt more like the Grammy’s than the Oscar’s and I’m perfectly alright with it.

Monday Morning Coffee

February 3, 2020

Last week was a tough week. Friday’s Laker game felt more like a memorial than a basketball game. I have no idea how they played. It was hard enough just being in the building and watching. However, everyday is getting a little better, even though we’ll probably never get over it. I also don’t think anybody can accuse Lebron of not being a true Laker or part of the Laker family after what he said before Friday’s game. Meanwhile, Kobe probably thinks we’re soft as Charmin toilet paper for crying over him for a week. By the way, the trade deadline is in 3.5 days. Kyle Kuzma might need to have his bags packed because the Lakers reportedly offered him in a trade to the Sacramento Kings last week. However, the Lakers just need to hope nothing much happens at the deadline, and that Andre Iguodola and Darren Collison are available on the free agent market.

Meanwhile, Doc Rivers says the Clippers can honor Kobe best by just winning. I respect the love you’ve shown Kobe the last week Doc, but let’s be real. The Clippers can honor Kobe best by packing their bags and moving to Seattle. You people also can’t be surprised that Paul George didn’t make the All-Star Team. The man has been injured for most of the season, and he’s been defending more like Boy George. It also seems like load management doesn’t seem to be inhibiting Kawhi Leonard’s ability to frequent LA strip clubs, since there’s plenty of photos and videos of him there.

To the NFL, where Super Bowl Sunday went down yesterday with the Chiefs taking down the 49ers. Congratulations to Andy Reid, who finally gets that all-you-can-eat fast food buffet at the White House. They say no lead is safe with Patrick Mahomes on the other side, but the real truth is no lead is safe with Kyle Shannahan on your side. I think it’s safe to say that Patrick Mahomes broke The Madden Curse. Donald Trump deleted this tweet but not before the internet had the receipt and roasted him for it. I think Missouri just turned blue.

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Damn you Google! Nobody wants to cry in Super Bowl commercials. My biggest takeaway from the Super Bowl commercials is that car brands are dominating alcohol brands. Rookie move by Mike Bloomberg to air an anti-gun commercial on Super Bowl Sunday. His Presidential campaign will be shorter than the rap career of Vanilla Ice. Walmart using all this money on commercials, but how about you hire more people so I don’t have to scan & bag my own groceries?? 14 years later, Shakira’s hips still don’t lie. Shakira is 43 and J-Lo is 50, yet they look more amazing than most 25-year-olds. Makes you think twice about grabbing that 2nd helping of nachos.

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The Dodgers need to stop whining about the Astros cheating scandal and do something to improve their club. We keep hearing about Mookie Betts, but until it’s a done deal, I’m going to remain skeptical. Andrew Friedman has more money and high-end prospects to work with than anybody else in baseball, yet he’s got this weird FOMO. That’s Fear of Missing Out on affordable prospects. Of course he wants Betts because he is only under contract for one more year. There’s not a chance in hell that Friedman is going to pay Betts more than the $300 million he just turned down from the Red Sox. Friedman would rather rent an elite player for a year giving up average talent than acquire an elite player like Nolan Arrenado who is under contract for 8 more years. He’s the dumbest smart guy I’ve ever seen.

We might not want to write off the UCLA Bruin basketball team just yet. The Bruins have won two straight, including a win over #20 Colorado on Friday night. Now they travel to Arizona for duel in the desert with the Wildcats and Sun Devils next weekend. Nice to see the Bruins finally get some offense going. Prior to Friday, they were scoring less than Urkel on Prom night. I’m still wondering though why Shareef O’Neal couldn’t get any playing time for the Bruins. They are so desperate for elite talent, and I can’t imagine this guy just simply couldn’t play. I guexs we’ll find out soon enough if he can’t crack a rotation at a 3rd division I school.

Finally, another episode of The Bachelor is going down on ABC tonight. You know how you know the show is going downhill? They are now having dates in Cleveland. Can you imagine lasting this long and going out on dates in freaking Cleveland? I’m offended just watching. Did Peter really suggest that Chase Rice could maybe sing at his and Victoria’s wedding? Gotta love all the women complaining about busting their humps on the football field, and then seeing Alayah come back. Have these women never actually watched this show? Peter should send them home in two seconds if they aren’t having fun. I only know four names at this point and it’s because Peter only talks to about 4 people. Looking forward to seeing more of this train wreck tonight, but first, in case you missed it check out the SNL spoof on The Bachelor.