Category Archives: Morning Coffee

Monday Morning Coffee

January 13, 2020

You guys still want to trade Amber Rose…..I mean Kyle Kuzma? Kuz has been balling since the trade rumors started, but most of you Laker fans have the patience of a 5-year old. You can’t trade a guy with that much potential for spare parts, which is the only thing he can bring back at the moment. Meanwhile, Lebron played Friday’s game against the Mavericks like Luka Doncic was hitting on his wife. I wish Lebron would take these games against Kawhi and the Clippers that personal, because he’s going to need to for the Lake Show to beat them. Anybody still think Rob Pelinka doesn’t know what he’s doing? Congrats to him for getting a promotion and an extension despite having to deal with Magic Johnson, who probably didn’t even know how to turn his computer on in the Laker front office. I love seeing Alex Caruso being 6th in All-Star voting for West guards. For any player that has a problem with it, I suggest you call your agent and demand a trade to the Lakers.

Meanwhile, the Clippers are acting like they are in the 3rd year of a championship run with the way they are not showing up against crummy teams. It’s like they have a championship hangover without the championship, and without the alcohol. It shouldn’t take Paul George and Kawhi Leonard to beat the Grizzlies, and even without them, they should have handled the Warriors and Knicks easily. Instead, it was a struggle. Apparently this team only shows up to play against the Lakers. That’s great, except they don’t get to play the Lakers 82 times a year. Ironically, the Clips don’t matchup as well with everybody else as they matchup with the Lakers. Nevertheless, if they don’t start bringing it against everybody else, we might not get to see Lakers v Clippers in the playoffs like we all hope to.

To the NFL where the Houston Texans need to start cheating like the Astros to win in the playoffs. The Falcons blew a 28-3 lead in a half, but the Texans said “hold my beer” and blew a 24-0 lead in one quarter. Pete Caroll must have been shocked to learn that Marshawn Lynch could score from the one yard line, and we were shocked to learn he punted to Aaron Rogers down 5 with 2:50 left. The Ravens lost as well, which is the worst thing to happen to the franchise since they erected a statue of a murderer. The 49ers won again, and Bill Belichick is going to drown himself in the Boston Harbor if Jimmy G makes it to the Super Bowl. This Packers lineman is actually wearing a thong!

Somebody neesds to take Keenan Allen’s Twitter account away from him. He didn’t seem to realize that Mike McCarthy didn’t coach the Packers anymore when the Cowboys hired him. You you would think someone with as much time on his hands would know what’s going on in the NFL. Then again, he might have been doing some day drinking.

It’s going from bad to worse for UCLA Basketball. They’ve lost 5 of their lat 6 games, and are already near the bottom of the PAC-12 after losing to USC. The Bruins are just 8-8, and they are scoring less than a pimple faced high schooler on Prom night. There is no elite scorer on this team, and defensively can only take them so far. I have no idea how good of a coach Mick Cronin is yes, but I sure hope he has the ability to recruit, because he will need to in order to get Bruin basketball back to a respectable level. UCLA should never lose to USC in basketball, let alone on their home floor. It’s going to be a rough couple of months ahead.

We are exactly a month away from pitchers and catchers reporting to spring training and the Dodgers haven’t done crap in the offseason. They should change their name to “The Bears” since their front office goes into hibernation during the winter. The worst part is that Stan Kasten is claiming that they will surpass the luxury tax this year. The Dodgers are about $25 million away from the tax, which tells me that they will be spending money on some very mediocre players left in free agency if they plan on spending that much more. Then again, they signed a mediocre player yesterday in Alex Wood, so maybe I shouldn’t be all the surprised. Nolan Arrenado, Kris Bryant, Francisco Lindor, and Mookie Betts are all available, the Dodgers have the assets to get one, yet they don’t want to do anything to make their club better. This front office is pathetic.

Then there’s the Angels, who are really going to go into another season without any pitching. The Halos blew all their money on Anthony Rendon, which is nice and all, but it’s like buying a nice car when you need fix your roof. The Halos need to hope that Shohei Ohtani turns into Nolan Ryan and that he can stay healthy. Otherwise, you can count on the Astros running over them again in the division, and another wasted year of Mike Trout.

Every time I hear about the LA Kings these days, all I hear about is how they will be good in two years when their young prospects arrive in the NHL. I’d feel pretty good about that if it wasn’t Rob Blake who drafted them. Blake’s coach hiring decisions have been uninspiring, his free agent signings have been disastrous, and he’s made 15 trades that have resulted in almost no current NHL players. That’s tough to get excited about. Now the trade deadline is coming up, and he’s sure to not move any of the veterans on the roster that are expensive, and have some value left.

Finally, The Bachelor is back! Another season of this train wreck television show you can’t stop watching. This time it’s Peter Weber who is The Bachelor this season. I love how Hannah Brown walked into Peter’s group date to remind all the women that she had sex with him 4 times in a windmill. There’s nothing quite like watching 30 women cry over a man they’ve known for 48 hours. Then again, what do you expect from a group that largely thought the cow that appeared on the show was a horse. I guess it wouldn’t be The Bachelor without that and hearing about a childhood trauma, which in this season is some woman who had a traumatic experience riding the teacups. Anybody else mad that Kelly cheated on the obstacle course? Victoria F modeled for a company called “White Lives Matter”. Where do they find these people? You clearly have to be abnormal to be on the show, otherwise it’s not happening. In any case, looking forward to seeing where it goes from here this season.

Monday Morning Coffee

January 6, 2020

The Lakers are back to beating crummy teams again, and everyone should be perfectly ok with it.  They lost 4 straight in the month of December, yet still have a 4 game lead in the West.  Kudos to the Suns on still clearly finding a way to enjoy New Year’s Eve in L.A. last week despite it being a work trip. That’s work/life balance we should all strive for.  Did Darren Collison find God already?  That was a quick retirement and search for the man upstairs, if he’s really coming back next month.  The Lake Show really needs him to help their bench.  ESPN is the new CNN when it comes to covering the Lakers.  Woj harped on the relationship Collison has with Doc Rivers because he played for him, but conveniently failed to mention he played for Frank Vogel too.

Meanwhile, The Clippers sure do have a lot of games where they don’t show up for a team whose entire ad campaign is built around how real they are.   “Earned, not given” is acting like a team in the 3rd year of a three-peat run?  Lay off Kawhi though.  He must be EXHAUSTED after playing 4 in a row!  WHY DID KAWHI PLAY 35 MINS IN A BLOWOUT AND A MEANINGLESS REGULAR SEASON GAME???  I still don’t get this bizarre load management schedule they have him on, and I’m not sure anybody other than Kawhi does because he’s the one telling the Clips what he’s doing.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the family of former NBA Commissioner David Stern, who passed away last week.  Stern’s legacy will always be remembered as the man who helped globalized the NBA, and taking it from a sport few cared about to one of the top sports leagues in the world.  Also, as much as Laker fans want to hate him for vetoing the Chris Paul trade, the Lakers are the greatest franchise in the NBA partially because Stern knew the importance of big markets during his tenure.

That was a shocking Wild Card Weekend in the NFL.  Bill Simmons is in tears right now trying to figure out how the Patriots loss is somehow like Rocky III or Road Rules Challenge.  Tom Brady was doing his best Jameis Winston impression on Saturday.  You think the dynasty is over until Belichik signs 13 new refs and finds a new way to cheat.  Patriots haven’t won a playoff game since they arrested Rich Hill.  Then there’s the Bills who choked away their game against the Texans.  Bills Mafia bought all those tables to break at the tailgate for nothing.  I feel terrible for Drew Brees, but you can always count on the Saints and their fans complaining that the refs screwed them instead of holding themselves accountable for missed opportunities.   The Seahawks won and that means Beast Mode gets to continue entertaining us for another week.

I don’t usually agree with Scott Kaplan on much, and definitely not when it comes to his feminine orders at Starbucks.  However, I do agree on the fact that the Charger franchise really screwed Philip Rivers, when he’s shown loyalty to them.   Rivers could have “Bolted” to a better situation, but instead, showed faith in a franchise that set him up to fail.  The Bolts never added the final pieces to even put themselves in position to get to the Super Bowl, and it wasn’t like it was only Tom Brady that prevented them from doing so.   Now Rivers’ frustration has boiled over with the move to LA, where he knows the team has no fans.  At this point you can only feel bad for the guy.

Although this is quickly looking like a down year for UCLA Basketball, I was really happy to see freshman Jake Kyman not only get some minutes, but also take advantage of them.  Kyman looked like Klay Thompson against Washington with all his clutch shooting, and made a solid contribution in the loss against Washington State yesterday. There hasn’t been a lot to get excited about, but as long as this kid continues to develop, he can be a really important player for the program for the next 4 years.

It’s January and as usual, the Dodgers have done nothing to improve their ball club.  Also as usual, Stan Kasten is in damage control mode with the media.  He’s trying to tell us this is a successful team already that is still determined to win the World Series.  You could have fooled me.  If the Dodgers were really concerned that Gerrit Cole wanted to be a Yankee, why didn’t they try to outbid them instead of telling us they could have?  Everyone knows Scott Boras clients always go to the highest bidder.  I have never blamed the Dodgers for making the TV deal they did, but I do blame them for not spending the money, and spending it the right way. They didn’t even spend the money to bring back Rich Hill, who is on the MLB equivalent of welfare. Kasten also thinks that just because we show up to his games we agree with how his team does things.  The man is simply out of touch with reality.  Here’s to proving me wrong Stan, but based on what you did in Atlanta, this looks like the sequel to a bad movie.

Finally, CNN is unbelievable.  I remember when they were a respectable network.  You knew that had a little bit of an agenda before, but it was professional.   Now they have become far more embarrassing than Fox News.  These people actually cried on election night in 2016 when Trump won.  Now they are getting drunk on New Years Eve, and talking about penises on the air.

Monday Morning Coffee

December 30, 2019

Tough week for the Lakers.  They snapped a 4-game skid but not before losing some games to some quality competition, namely the Clippers.  On top of that, I’m pretty sure Kyle Kuzma’s trainer isn’t going to be invited to Taco Tuesday at Lebron’s house, after firing off some highly critical tweets.  Lebron is already sending a strongly worded letter to the Santa at the North Pole demanding that he takes a crap in the trainer’s stocking next year.  I don’t know if Kawhi is better than Lebron on a nightly basis, but he certainly makes the matchup difficult.  In all seriousness though, Lebron is going to have to figure out how to be the smarter and more skillful player against the Clippers, rather than the most athletic guy.  That’s the only difference between the Lakers and Clippers right now, but I think Lebron is capable of figuring out that challenge.

As for the Clippers, yes they are basking in the glory of a win over the Lakers on Xmas Day, but then they followed that up by laying an egg against Utah.  Doc Rivers blamed the loss on the fact his team is sick, but they are probably sick from watching Paul George shoot 30% from the field the last 4 games.  He been awful lately, and nobody cares unless your name is Lebron, Harden or Westbrook.  Then there’s Kawhi Leonard, who won the AP Male Athlete of the Year, but I’m sure he’s going to miss the ceremony due to load management.  The Clippers are winning but they are annoying.  So is Kawhi’s Uncle, who probably asked Jeannie Buss for sexual favors while negotiating with the Lakers over the summer.  This dude reminds me of the Uncle in the movie “He Got Game”.

The Rams may have found the win column yesterday to finish the season over .500, but it was a lost cause. Todd Gurley just isn’t getting enough work, and whatever happens next season, he and Sean McVay need to hold hands and sing ” Kum-By-Ya” until they resolve whatever weird beef they have. They are also going to be a team that is shopping at the “99 Cent Store” this off-season, since they have paid everybody already, and still need to pay Jalen Ramsey. Despite that, I see no reason why the Rams can’t get back to the playoffs next year if they get creative with the cap, and fix the offensive line. There is still talent on this team.

The Chargers’ season also mercifully came to an end yesterday, but sadly the Charger career of Philip Rivers probably did as well. After watching Rivers get emotional at the post game press conference yesterday, I was thinking how much respect I had for the guy. I’ve gotta admit, I’ve always been a Drew Brees guy over Philip Rivers, but Rivers played so hard and didn’t care about the interceptions. He was always about going for it, even if the ride with the Bolts was bumpier than the Matterhorn. For Philip’s sake, and the sake of his 22 children, I hope he goes someplace else next year where he can win. For the Chargers, it’s going to be a disaster either way moving into a new stadium and losing name players like Rivers and Melvin Gordon, while having no fans.

Elsewhere around Week 17, America is cracking the champagne open after the Patriots lost to the Dolphins, which means they have to play next weekend in the playoffs. Marshawn Lynch was serving tequila shots at a parking lot tailgate in Oakland two weeks ago for the Raiders’ last game there. Last night he started for the Seahawks on Sunday Night Football.  Legend.  The NFC East playoff spot should go to LSU instead of the Eagles. More on them in a moment. Jameis Winston has thrown 30 interceptions this season, and he’s asking for $30 million next season. Isn’t this country amazing? The Bengals are so bad, even their celebrations suck.

USC football finished up their season with a Holiday Bowl loss against Iowa State. The only thing worse than the SC coaching is Qualcomm stadium.  The seats in that stadium look like they were recovered from the Titanic.  As if Trojan fans aren’t mad enough, now USC AD Mike Bohn is blaming the fans for the Trojans’ poor recruiting class. Maybe it’s because recruits don’t want to join a Clay Helton-coached team that consistently gets embarrassed by good competition.  Not because the fans want to see them fail.  Helton has embarrassed USC Athletics more than Lori loughlin.  Anybody that wants to point out that USC lost Kedon Slovis, Slovis doesn’t play defense or special teams, where much of their problems were against Iowa State.  USC was supposed to finish strong in the Holiday Bowl.  Instead, it validated every concern its frustrated fan base has levied against Clay Helton.

As for the College Football Playoff, the United Nations has charged LSU with crimes against humanity for what they did against Oklahoma.  Oh should Oklahoma join a conference now? Or maybe they should be relegated to Division II.  Look, for all the “Prisoner of The Moment People”  saying Oklahoma didn’t belong in this game, yes they did. They had the fourth best season in the country. This happens sometimes.  The top teams are just really good.  The same thing can be said for Division II and Division III College Football, which has the larger playoff format most people are pushing for.  Meanwhile Ohio State and Oklahoma have agreed to play a 3rd place game and Ohio State is already up 28-0 before the game started.  Hopefully the Championship game is a little more competitive.

I don’t even know what to say anymore about UCLA Basketball.  They lost at home to Cal State Fullerton.  UCLA should NEVER lose to Fullerton.  Now Coach Mick Cronin issued an apology to all the fans for the poor defense that they played Saturday.  However, it’s actually their offense that is far more offensive to watch.  Cronin is basically saying he doesn’t have enough talent.  He also said he plans on talking to Chip Kelly and borrowing some of his football players to work on post defense with his players in practice.  That’s like asking Chris Brown for advice on domestic abuse prevention.    Kelly’s players have no talent, and they sure don’t win.  Things look like they are going to get worse in Westwood before they get better.

For those of you that missed it, Dodger free agent pitcher Rich Hill and his wife were arrested at a Patriots game last week.  This arrest makes him a great candidate for the Astros to sign, since it’s pretty much a requirement to have a criminal record to play for them.  This also validates the  “Dick Mountain” nickname he gave himself for being so ballsy.   Have you seen Hill get angry and throw water coolers when he gets removed from a regular season game by Andrew Friedman’s computer? Imagine what he did to those cops if he did that to a water cooler.  Probably took the whole squad to take him down.

OJ Simpson Twitter is still great for jokes that simply write themselves.  OJ’s latest Twitter debacle was after he won his fantasy football championship, and showed up on social with a belt hours later.  I’m beginning to think the league doesn’t really exist because it usually take a while to get your league’s belt or trophy if you win.  Juice got his hands on it like he was given the Stanley Cup, which seems unlikely.  Kirk Cousins should be a little nervous since OJ thinks he nearly “murdered” his chances.  Clearly, OJ is still “killing” the competition.  But seriously though: who would play in a Fantasy Football League with OJ, let alone invite him to one?

Monday Morning Coffee

December 23, 2019

I read a headline on ESPN yesterday that actually said: “Lebron Not Managing His Load”. The journalists that cover the NBA are severely underestimating the maturity level of their fan base. In all seriousness though, LBJ missing last night’s game is no big deal, but he should take a few games off, even if it means we’re going to be disappointed not seeing him on Christmas Day. The Laker losing streak isn’t a big deal either. Meanwhile, Magic Johnson still can’t shut up. He felt the need to tell the LA Times that the Lakers wouldn’t be where they are today without him. Actually Magic, the Lakers are where they are today despite your stupidity. There’s no way Magic had any idea who Josh Hart was when he was in college, and it’s not terribly difficult to “evaluate talent” like Lonzo Ball when he is in your backyard playing Oregon on a Thursday night. Something tells me Magic wasn’t exactly going to scout Colgate vs Monmoth in January, and it was his scouts doing that, and Pelinka doing the real roster manipulation. If anything, had Magic not been an idiot, Kawhi would be on this team with Lebron and AD, and the league would be over.

Meanwhile, Doc Rivers is talking trash about load management. Doc claims that the Lakers load management philosophy is “whatever Lebron says it is.” That’s funny Doc, but the Lakers aren’t load managing at all, and it’s really you that is load managing Kawhi because that’s how Kawhi says it’s going to be. However, it doesn’t seem to matter how much Kawhi is load managing, because right now Giannis and the Bucks look like the best team in the NBA. Giannis isn’t the same player Kawhi locked down in the playoffs last year, and he’s suddenly making three-pointers like he’s Reggie Miller. For now, the Lakers and Clippers might just be battling it out for 2nd place.

That was a spirited effort by the Rams on Saturday against the 49ers, but their playoff hopes got crushed like everyone’s hope of Trump actually leaving office. I don’t really subscribe to the theory that the Rams are done being competitive in the NFC, but this is definitely going to be looked at as a season of missed opportunities. The Rams should have handled business against the Bucs, Cowboys, and Seahawks on the road. Even if they win two of those games it’s a different story. I’m also not sure what the weird dynamic between Sean McVay and Todd Gurley is. Gurley rarely touches the ball 20 times a game anymore, and it’s like McVay got offended he was hitting on his fiance or something. Whatever the case is, these two guys better work it out before next season.

Then there’s the Chargers, who are just a sad football team at this point. They lose to the Raiders, they have to rely on silent counts because they are basically playing a road game in their own stadium, and then Philip Rivers complains about how much the lack of support hurts. Melvin Gordon also re-iterated how tough it was to play in that stadium for the last 3 years. Don’t worry Melvin, I don’t think the Bolts are interested in paying you even $5 million next year, so you won’t have to play in LA anymore. Even more ridiculous is the Chargers making a joke out of the Raiders leaving Oakland. Apparently when the Bolts left San Diego it was all business, but when the Raiders leave Oakland it’s all one big joke.


Elsewhere around the NFL in Week 15, Jameis Winston is the first quarterback to ever throw an interception during a commercial. Lamar Jackson is so good, at this point he’s trolling people on the field.
With the Bengals clinching the #1 overall pick, every single draft eligible player has announced they are all returning to school. The Dolphins are so bad, they couldn’t even tank properly this season. The Seahawks are about to hold tryouts with their fans for their starting running back position next week. Stay positive Cowboys fans you still have the Lakers and Yankees seasons to look forward to!

To baseball where the Dodgers have yet to do anything of significance to improve their club, and we are nearly at Christmas time. I did not expect the Dodgers to bring back Hyun Jin Ryu. However, I did expect them to do something to improve their bullpen, starting pitching, and their lineup to a lesser extent. I get it Andrew Friedman, you don’t want to give out long term deals. However, you also don’t like giving up high end prospects in trades. So in case nobody has told you, you can’t improve your baseball team if you aren’t willing to do either. I’ve been hearing names like Lindor, Clevinger, and Arrenado since the off-season ended, but I’m having a hard time seeing the Dodgers actually do anything because that has never been Friedman’s style. Here’s to hoping I’m wrong by the time you read this.

As for the Angels, they desperately need pitching and still haven’t gotten it. No Cole, no Wheeler, Bumgarner, Keuchel, or Ryu. They probably needed two of those guys, and not Julio Teheran. I realize the Angels are paying for durability on their pitching staff, but maybe they can start paying for talent while they are at it. It’s going to take some creative trades by the Halos to find some impact arms to help them get in the playoffs at this point. David Price seems like the best bet, especially with only 3 years left on his deal, and still performing at a reasonably high level.

Does anybody actually care that USC will be playing in the Holiday Bowl on Thursday? Anyone? Bueller? I guess we’ll get the true answer on Thursday when no Trojan fans show up, or a bunch of angry ones. I hear Clay Helton is counting 7-on-7 workouts as real practices to claim that USC would have practiced 15 times in preparation for the game. The only thing worse than the people that run USC is the stadium this game is going to be played in. That’s another reason why San Diego needs another new stadium. By the way, USC’s recruiting class is now worse than Bowling Green’s. Keeping Clay Helton is going really well so far guys.

Monday Morning Coffee

December 16, 2019

The Lakers keep winning, and keep winning on the road. If Lebron keeps this up, pretty soon he’s going to start giving away his underwear to fans, in addition to his shoes. Not only are they winning, they are having fun and enjoying playing with each other. This week it gets real with a showdown against the Bucks, and the following week a Xmas Day showdown with the Clippers. Get your popcorn ready!  Those Laker haters are going to have to block Laker fans on Twitter if the Lakers keep winning on the road.

As for the Clippers, they should have been able to beat a team like the Bulls, even when Kawhi sits out. Then there’s Paul George, who felt the need to bring up what happened when he left Indiana to the media earlier in the week. PG13 sure talks a lot for a guy who doesn’t say much. One thing we can say about him though is that he clearly doesn’t like pressure or accountability. That’s exactly why he’s a Clipper and not a a Laker, and exactly why he has never wanted to play with Lebron.

RIP to the Rams playoff hopes. I don’t know what the hell happened but the Rams played that game with the intensity of a preseason game. The Cowboys have been losing games left and right until Sunday. At least Sean McVay should get coach of the year for allowing us to score all the garbage time fantasy points. I’m also done with Jared Goff. I just can’t defend him anymore for his play.  McVay has gone from genius to lunatic.  He’s allowing Goff to throw 51 times, instead of giving the ball to Todd Gurley.  If everything is perfect with the protection, Goff is solid.  If not, he’s pretty mediocre.  It’s been a season of squandered opportunities that have killed their playoff hopes.

Meanwhile, the Chargers got bombed by the Vikings.  Melvin Gordon went from potentially getting $10 million a year to getting benched.  This man is losing money faster than Lehman Brothers.  Even Phil Rivers realizes that he’s making more turnovers than Martha Stewart, and that his future is in doubt.  It’s no wonder this team can’t sell tickets in their brand new stadium next year.    There is already nobody that cares about them, they stink, and they don’t have any young players to get excited about.  Again, 80% Vikings fans during a Charger home game, and even the Vikings fans know where the Bolts belong.


Elsewhere around Week 15, I’m not even sure Jesus Christ could lead the Browns to the playoffs.  The Bears figure if they don’t make the playoffs, then a kicker can’t actually lose them a playoff game.  Now that the Bills have actually clinched a playoff spot, Bills mafia will probably be breaking even more tables at tailgates.  Most teams prepare for the Bengals by just taking a nap.  However, the Patriots actually needed to tape their opponents.

It’s time for a Dodger cold stove update.  That’s right people.  As usual Andrew Friedman is 100% full of crap telling you he expects big changes.  The only change this guy makes is upgrading his Windows software.   The Dodgers could have outbid the Yankees for Gerrit Cole, or even acquired Corey Kluber for pennies on the dollar,  but Friedman overvalued his prospects like he usually does.  I’m not sure why anybody is surprised.  He spent another $10 million on a reliever coming off a terrible season as well.  Typical Dodger blueprint for “success”.

As for the Angels, signing Antony Rendon is mice and all, but it’s like buying a Ferrari when you need to fix your roof.  The Halos desperately need pitching, or they aren’t making the playoffs.  Last I checked, Rendon can’t pitch.  With Cole, Kluber, and now MadBum off the market, there’s not many more places they can go to get it.   Not that the Dodgers were desperate for Rendon, but the notion that it was the Hollywood lifestyle that kept him from LA is ridiculous.  I’m pretty sure Clayton Kershaw isn’t living the Hollywood lifestyle.

Monday Morning Coffee

December 2, 2019

Relax everybody.  The Lakers were going to lose again at some point.  Frankly, they only really played badly for one quarter yesterday that cost them.  Yesterday’s game also had  that “fines all around after the game for ripping refs” feel to it.  The officiating has been pretty bad league wide though.  I’m not sure what the point of giving these refs replay is when they still get the calls wrong.  The Lakers just need to clean up the consistency on defense, and get Kyle Kuzma going.  I am getting really annoyed with people pretending like they have only played against WNBA teams, and haven’t actually beaten good teams like the Mavs, Jazz, Suns, and Heat.  Meanwhile Denver loses to Sacramento, and Houston loses to some tomato can and it’s all good. We get it. The schedule gets tougher, but don’t pretend like the Lake Show isn’t a contender.

Then there’s the Clippers who admittedly are good, but NBA Twitter fawns over them like they are the 1996 Chicago Bulls.  The Spurs got some revenge on Kawhi on Friday, and Paul George was already in playoff form, shooting about 20% from the field.  I’m still waiting for some solid media coverage about the Clippers without knocking the Lakers in the process, or trying to provide some lame Laker hater comparison. By the way, if you think the Lakers schedule is tough in December, you should see the Clippers schedule, which is littered with back-to-backs. Hopefully Kawhi puts his other part-time job on the back burner so he can actually play in those games and help the Clips.

To the NFL, where the Rams got back in the win column yesterday with a win over Arizona. Putting Blake Bortles in the game was like lighting up a human victory cigar. It was good to see Jared Goff and Todd Gurley get right because just 6 days earlier, Lamar Jackson burned the Sean McVay coaching tree to the ground. It was like watching Rams march to a slaughter house. The Rams look nothing like the Super Bowl contender of last year, but don’t count them out of the playoff picture just yet. Minnesota’s schedule isn’t so easy, and they could still blow it.

Then there’s the Chargers. Even for the Bolts, yesterday was a rough loss to the Broncos. They’ve now lost 8 games by 7 or fewer points, but have collectively outscored all their opponents this year. It’s like when the 4th quarter rolls around, they start looking around for someone to give them the Heimlich maneuver.  I’ve gotta hand it to them though. It had been a whole six days since they figured out a new way to lose.   Charger games are like SAW movies. They are predictable and get more outrageous every time, to the point that they are almost comical. But I still can’t look away. With all this talk about the Chargers moving on from Philip Rivers, I’m not sure how they can if they are moving into a new stadium next year. I realize he’s been handing out interceptions like he’s Oprah, but they are already pleading with people to buy PSL’s next year. I’m sure they won’t exactly be replacing Rivers with Tom Brady, so losing Rivers probably won’t help their cause.

Elsewhere around Week 13 in the NFL, Jason Garrett has reportedly been put up for sale for $5 as part of a Black Friday special at Dallas WalMart. So far, no takers. That stiff arm on Matt Ryan put him back in grade school. If you see any Eagles players on the street, kindly pick them up and put them in a waste win. You see, the Eagles are trash. The Giants lost again, and Saquon Barkley is busy liking porn on social media. The Browns just lost to a QB named “Duck”. America sleeps better when the Patriots lose. Enough said. Here’s a live look at the NFC East standings.


It’s really nice to see USC is upset about apparently erroneous reports that Clay Helton should be fired. Perhaps they should be steamed over the fact that they are 13-11 in their last 24 games. I don’t know whether or not Clay Helton is going to remain the USC Head Football Coach. But I do know that the University Leadership has already fumbled this process like a 4th string running back. The fact they have not provided any clarity one way or another spells indecisiveness and disaster. One could also argue that by not firing Helton, the school will lose about $200 million in donations from alums, while saving only $20 million to keep him. I’m already skeptical that this new leadership team will come up with an elite replacement if the job becomes available.

On the other side of town, for about five minutes Bruin fans got excited when they heard rumors that Chip Kelly and UCLA might mutually part ways. That unfortunately, was not true after Kelly refuted the rumors. In other words, you can expect one more year of this mess before both sides move on. My favorite part of the Chip Kelly era is when Chip was hired, UCLA fans were saying “imagine Chip’s Oregon teams but with more talent?!” Then Chip went on to purge all that talent, replace them with walk-ons and 3-stars, & then tell us UCLA sucks because it doesn’t have talent. Kelly has been so bad he should face a class action lawsuit for destroying a football program. Chip Kelly isn’t even the Steve Alford of College Football. That’s how bad it is. It’s not going to get better for a while.

Speaking of UCLA, the basketball squad performed like we expected in Maui. They beat the second tier teams, and couldn’t hang with anybody in the Top 25. I realize they put up a good fight against Michigan State for a while, but this team is what it is. I’m already severely questioning if they are going to make it to the NCAA tournament. On the other hand though, thank God for Bill Walton. While some of you hate him, you fail to realize that he is providing great entertainment value on the ESPN broadcasts. He might be the highest man on the planet, but he’s a National treasurer and I hope he lives to about 150.


Finally, the baseball Hot Stove hasn’t felt very hot this off-season for the Dodgers so far. I can’t say I’m surprised though. Every day you can find some rumor connecting the Dodgers to names like Mookie Betts and Francisco Lindor. However, in reality, this is not what Andrew Friedman does. Friedman was probably shopping for some 99 cent reliever on Black Friday, and will probably look for some useless starter on Cyber Monday. As for the Angels, Mike Trout is like that woman you’ve been married to for years that’s subtly telling you that you need to buy her something nice. Trout went on the MLB Radio Network last week and said he’s waiting by the phone to hear the Halos made a big acquisition. Memo to Billy Eppler: dude is telling you to sign Gerrit Cole.

MLB: World Series-Houston Astros at Washington Nationals

Monday Morning Coffee

November 18, 2019

The Lakers are 11-2, and they have the best record in the NBA. They also have an identity: defense, owning the paint, and passing. After 6 years of getting laughed at by the league, things are looking up. Speaking of looking up, I think it’s fair to say that Kobe’s daughter is taller than Kevin Hart. Then again Snoopy is also taller than Kevin Hart, so that’s not saying much. It was nice to see Kobe and Lebron sharing a moment last night, as well as Kobe and Dwight Howard. In just one month, Dwight has managed to buy into his role beautifully, negotiate a peace treaty between KCP and his haters, and give Kobe some love publicly. I definitely didn’t see this one coming.

Meanwhile, the Clippers are winning across the hallway as well. Does Kawhi have another job? I mean I know millennials usually have a side hustle, and Kawhi is a part-time NBA player at this point, so it would only make sense. I’m thinking the Clipper season ticket holders should be entitled to “load manage” his or her games and inform the team that 10-20 games during the season won’t be paid for so that their finances will be strong come playoff time to handle those jacked up ticket prices. By the way, the Clippers are 8-5 and everybody things everything is chill. If the Lakers were 8-5 people would be calling for Vogel’s job, and be saying Lebron is washed.

That Rams-Bears game was sloppier than happy hour with Lindsay Lohan, but thank god Mitch Trubisky stinks. On one hand, the defense is playing great and it was nice to see Todd Gurley get 25 carries. On the other hand though, Jared Goff isn’t exactly inspiring confidence in anyone right now. Given Goff’s footwork in the pocket the last few weeks, he’s either auditioning for the “Happy Feet Live” production, or to be a part of the next ‘Dancing With The Stars” cast. Either way, it looks like his schedule will be open as of January 4th. Then again, I’m beginning to think the reason why they’ll never win a Super Bowl is because they were once the Cleveland Rams.

Elsewhere around Week 11 in the NFL, Myles Garrett and Happy Gilmore are the first ever athletes to take off their equipment and use it as a weapon. Too bad the Steelers got the worst punishment of anyone when Mason Rudolph wasn’t suspended by the league. Things have gotten so bad for the Redskins that the fans were chanting “sell the team”. Nelson Agholor couldn’t catch a rash at a poison ivy convention. Lamar Jackson is a human video game. Don’t look now but the Raiders are actually in the playoffs, and suddenly trading away Khalil Mack doesn’t look so bad.

USC might go 8-4, end up in the Alamo Bowl, and Clay Helton could still be fired. I realize that everyone wants this man gone, but how fair is everyone being? His team has been decimated by injuries, yet he still hasn’t even entirely been eliminated from Rose Bowl contention. Also, since Trojan fans keep saying all they really care about is winning the Pac-12 and making it to the Rose Bowl, and everything else is gravy think about this: Clay Helton has already won a Rose Bowl. If that’s all you care about, then Helton is your guy. If not, then you’re a bunch of liars. I’m going with liars.

So much for UCLA turning things around. The Bruins got bombed by Utah on Saturday by a score of 49-3. UCLA should never lose to Utah in football, and certainly not in blowout fashion. The Bruins were doing it with smoke and mirrors against a crummy Pac-12 South, but they were finally exposed. Nobody does more with less than this program. In fact, nobody pays more for less than the Bruins, with this ridiculous Chip Kelly contract. It’s been a disaster from the start, and will not end anytime soon.

Elsewhere around college football, don’t let Baylor blowing a 28-3 lead over Oklahoma distract you from the fact that Texas lost to Iowa State. The Atlanta Falcons can’t catch a break. Baylor blows a 28-3 lead, the Falcons were just minding their own business, and the internet ropes them in and makes fun of them for blowing a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl against New England. Notre Dame should not sell out home games every week if plan on blowing out top 25 teams every time. They should also stop raising ticket prices. Has anyone seen images of the new Longhorn Patio they are building in Texas? It looks like a uterus. I guess that makes sense since you can’t spell that without “UT”.


Congratulations to Cody Bellinger & Mike Trout on winning the NL & AL MVP’s, respectively. These guys both had amazing seasons, and they rightfully earned the awards. For those of you wanting to poke fun at their lack of playoff success, or playoff involvement, lay off. That kind of criticism is only allowed here on Jock Talk LA. In all seriousness though, this isn’t the NBA. A guy can have a great regular season, win the MVP, and it can have nothing to do with the playoffs, or even making it. That’s just the nature of the game. Speaking of the playoffs though, this story about the Astros electronically stealing signs to win the 2017 World Series makes sense. I always knew that Andrew Friedman was so cheap that he wouldn’t even buy the anti-virus software to prevent this from happening.

Finally, a new episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Imagine Michonne coming back to Alexandria: they lose Negan, everybody gets sick, they lose Lydia, and Siddiq gets killed. How the hell are they going to survive without her? How did Lydia not know that Dante was Whisperer? Is Rosita hitting up one of those apocalyptic med spas for some eyebrow waxing? Not sure its possible to look that good given everything going on . If you’re a doctor on this show you are definitely destined to die. Carol is at her scariest when she is offering people food. Now she’s playing the long game because wait until all the Whisperers see that Lydia is actually alive. Heck she might have even let Negan out to infiltrate the Whisperers. Calm down ladies. Daryl’s shirt is going back on in the next episode. Looking forward to the mid-season finale next week!


Monday Morning Coffee

November 11, 2019

Look guys, the Lakers weren’t going to go 81-1. They were going to lose some games like last night. They need some help with their 3-point shooting. Anthony Davis and Kyle Kuzma shouldn’t be shooting that many either. However, let’s look at the positive. Alex Caruso looks like a 7th grade math teacher, yet every now and again he’ll posterize opponents, not to mention play some solid defense and make plays. I’m also not sure who this impostor is that is wearing a Dwight Howard jersey. Whoever he is, he’s playing amazing defense, buying into his role, and being an excellent teammate. For all the crap I’ve given him, he’s been amazing thus far. As for Anthony Davis, he’s been great too. If he’s really dumb enough to go to Chicago this off-season like he suggested though, then it just goes to show you that basketball players really do need to stay in school. It’s still relatively early, but this team is fun to watch. Now they just have to find a way to beat the Clippers.

Speaking of those Clippers, Doc Rivers is such a buffoon. The man is like a used car salesman. I would never buy what he’s selling, and certainly not that bs he spouted last week on Kawhi Leonard really being injured. We knew all along he wasn’t, even though he fooled the NBA temporarily. I still think it’s stupid for the Clippers to do this whole load management thing for Kawhi, rather than play him fewer minutes. It just might even cost the Clippers some playoff positioning too with the way they are doing it. My favorite part about this team though is that they claim they are just trying to carve out their own identity with fans, and not worry about the Lakers. Except every billboard they create always seems to take a shot at the Lakers and not being second fiddle.


To the NFL where the Rams suffered a bad loss to the Steelers yesterday. Cooper Kupp and Robert Woods disappeared like Jimmy Hoffa, and the Rams offensive line was so bad, they couldn’t block anybody on social media if they tried. Going into the season with 2 linemen with more than 18 starts under their belts probably wasn’t the best idea, and it’s probably going to cost this team a playoff spot. This was supposed to be the easy part of the Rams schedule. Now they have to play the Bears, Ravens, Cardinals, Seahawks, Cowboys, 49ers, and Cardinals again. Even if they go 4-3 they still might not make the playoffs. That’s how brutal the NFC is. McVay needs to bring back his genius fast or else the Rams will be watching the playoffs from the couch with you and me.

Meanwhile, the Chargers returned to being the Chargers again and lost to the Raiders in Oakland on Thursday night. One team is leaving California and the other team has no fans in California. All we heard coming in was how the Raiders haven’t played a home game in 49 days. That’s funny because the Bolts haven’t played a home game in three years. That one was too easy. But seriously, Philip Rivers looked awful. Then there’s the London rumors that started floating around. I don’t think the Bolts are moving to London, but I do think they will move somewhere else in a few years. It’s already obvious they can’t sell season seats in a brand new stadium, even at discounted rates. Nobody cares about this team in LA, and it’s apparently clear to everybody but the 31 other NFL owners.

In College Football, USC got the win on Saturday vs ASU, but nobody is even talking about that. All anybody cares about is their new Athletic Director Mike Bohn. More specifically, everybody wants to know if he’s going hire Urban Meyer. If you think that Carol Folt or Mike Bohn are going to tell you right now that they are considering Urban Meyer or not, then that kind logic makes you qualified to work in the Trojan Athletic Department. Still, if Folt is going to preach integrity like she is, it’s going to be beyond hypocritical for Meyer to be hired.

Perhaps some of you forgot, but there’s another basketball team in this town not named the Lakers or Clippers. It’s the UCLA Bruins basketball team, and they’ve already played two games. The fact you probably haven’t noticed speaks volumes about how far they have fallen to LA sports irrelevancy. The Bruins are 2-0 with victories over Long Beach and Santa Barbara. However, in both games they needed to rally over opponents with inferior talent. Mick Cronin’s team is looking like a poor mans version of a Ben Howland team. They’ll have some tough tests against #3 Kansas, Notre Dame, and #9 North Carolina in the next couple of weeks.

Finally, another episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Negan just doesn’t seem like a guy who fits in with The Whisperers. I mean they are called “The Whisperers”. Not “The Dudes That Won’t Shut The Hell Up.” Negan interacting with Beta though was pure comedy. Daryl was really giving off some Rick vibes while sitting in that porch chair. Eugene is the kinda dude who would meet somebody over the radio during the apocalypse and get catfished. I refuse to believe that Rosita is going to die because she drank some bad water. I mean of all the things to kill her in the apocalypse, it can’t be water. Carol is up to no good and Daryl knows it. Wouldn’t be shocked if she was the one who let Negan out. Apparently the Walking Dead Comic has ended. That means that the show itself may be closer to an ending than we think. Especially if the ratings keep falling. Still, looking forward to seeing where the last couple of episodes go before the mid-season finale.


Monday Morning Coffee

November 4, 2019

Do you know what that sound is? It’s the sound of Warriors bandwagon fans running to jump back on the Lakers bandwagon after the last 5 years. It’s been years since the Lakers won a pair of road game like they did this weekend. It felt like a pair of wins filled with championship pedigree. That’s because the team is finally playing great defense and getting critical stops in the 4th quarter, as well as coming up with big plays in the 4th quarter. That’s been missing the last couple of season, but having Lebron James and Anthony Davis helps a tad to solve that problem. Even Smush Parker thinks KCP’s consistency is garbage. Imagine how good the team would be if he was consistent. Give me more Alex Caruso and less KCP, and this team will be even better. Also, for all the crap I have given Dwight Howard over the years, he’s been amazing. Things are looking good, but they need to stay healthy.

Meanwhile, the Clippers are stillwinning as well, but this load management is ridiculous. Doc Rivers said there will be no load management on Kawhi Leonard this season. He’s a liar. 5 games in, Kawhi was already resting. The concept of load management makes little sense too, especially when Kawhi is sitting against elite teams, and when the game might be so lopsided on one night, you might be able to limit his minutes anyway. You know what…..tomorrow I’m going to tell my boss I need to take a day off for “load management” to perform better in 82 days from now. Not for a sick day or vacation day. Just load management. That should go over really well with HR.

Come on Dodger fans be realistic. Stop salivating over free agents that you know Andrew Friedman will never sign. You think Friedman is going to give $200 million to Gerrit Cole? Or Anthony Rendon? Get real. This guy approaches free agency like a guy looking for coupons before shopping at the 99 Cent Store. You can be sure he’s going to look for a couple of terrible relievers with “good spin rate”, trade Corey Seager for pennies on the dollar to avoid paying him, and then tell us how great he feels about his teams chances. The Angels on the other hand will be printing money if necessary to sign Gerrit Cole. Meanwhile, my Dodger self-esteem doesn’t seem to be feeling any better after losing to the eventual World Series Champion for the third straight year.

Did the entire city of Green Bay show up at Dignity Health Sports Park yesterday? It sure felt like it when seeing all the Packer fans fill the seats at the Charger game in Carson. This time though, the Bolts did not find a new ways to embarrass themselves on the field and got a win. It figures right? The Chargers manhandle a good team, but can’t actually win against crummy teams. The Bolts fired their offensive coordinator Ken Whisenhunt earlier in the week, and if I didn’t know better I’d say he was hired by the Packers with the way their offensive played. Why can’t the Chargers be more consistent? Oh they have injuries you say? Well the Patriots, Seahawks, and Ravens all have injuries too, and they are in a playoff
spot at the moment. That’s probably because they don’t give away football games like the way you give away your junk to the Salvation Army come tax time. Can’t say I expect their season to turn around after this win, or their stadium to start having their fans in it either. Here’s a look at all the Packer fans yesterday.


Elsewhere around Week 9, Christmas came early for everyone after the Ravens ran all over the Patriots and gave them their first loss. After the Dolphins beat the Jets, I’m waiting for Miami to fire coach Brian Flores followed by a statement that says: “Winning is something we simply won’t tolerate around here.” Meanwhile, Jets fans are off to hang themselves. Apparently Minshew Mania doesn’t travel overseas, because the Jaguars got crushed by the Texans in London. The only defense Mitch Trubisky can beat down is the Bears defense. The only difference between Kirk Cousins and Matt Moore is that Cousins is overpaid. I don’t know what happened to OBJ, but the Browns have made him disappear like David Blane. We should just
save everyone time and give the MVP to Christian McCaffrey now. The Redskins are 1-8, haven’t scored a TD in a month, but Daniel Snyder and Bruce Allen are reminding fans to purchase their playoff tickets.

Not much of a feel good weekend for the USC football program and their fans. The Trojans ended up taking a senseless beating from Oregon at the Coliseum. I’m not sure which was worse, the one the Ducks administered, or the one Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart gave the coaching staff at halftime on Fox. Bush and Leinart said the coaches do nothing but put the players in position to fail. They aren’t wrong. It’s going to be tough for Clay Helton to survive after that showing. Then there’s the hiring of Cincinnati AD Mike Bohn. The bad news is he was about their 6th choice. That just goes to show you how bad not only USC is now, but the Pac-12 in general. The good news is that he has no USC ties, so he’s not some Trojan Kool-Aid drinker. He’ll bring fresh thinking. Unfortunately if you’re banking on Urban Meyer coaching this team next year, I doubt it’s going to happen. There’s no way you can preach about a high character program while hiring Meyer. What’s next? Hiring O.J. Simpson as the head of a domestic abuse prevention program?

Look at UCLA football now. Suddenly these jokers are now in 2nd place in the PAC -12 South, and control their own destiny in the division. I’d be shocked if this team actually goes into Utah next week and wins. However, this is the PAC-12 we are talking about. where all the games should really be aired on Comedy Central. Any “good team” finds a way to lose every week.
Nevertheless, I’ve gotta give credit to Dorian Thompson-Robinson, who mightactually be able to play quarterback after-all, and has been improving.

To the NHL, where the LA Kings are just as bad as I suspected. This team has one of the worst defense the league has seen in years, and it’s apparently caused goalie Jonathan Quick to look like the second coming of a traffic cone. It’s depressing when you think about the fact this team still has pieces from their Stanley Cup championship teams earlier in the decade, but just like your Apple IPod, they have become old and outdated. Rebuilding is fine, but the idea of building without thinking about defense and goaltending first is silly. That’s how the Kings did it earlier in the decade, and that’s also how last year’s Stanley Cup Finalists did it. It’s gotten so bad though even Luc Robitaille’s wife won’t go to the games anymore. 

Finally, another episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if that is the case. I forgot how much I missed Negan until we saw an extended look at him in this episode. I also never thought I would be so excited to see him kill Brandon, who was more annoying than a nagging housewife. I know we’re all cheering for the whole “Caryl” thing to go down, but Connie and Daryl seem like they are really a thing. Ezekiel can’t seem to catch a break. He loses his pet, his Kingdom, his kid, Carol, and now he has cancer. I don’t know about you, but this Magna woman looks amazing and it’s the apocalypse. For those of us who know what happened in the comics, it’s pretty awesome to see Negan finally meeting with the Whisperers. Alpha is getting more and more terrifying by the second, but she needs to die. Looking forward to seeing where this goes!

Monday Morning Coffee

October 28, 2019

It’s been three games and there’s more good news about the Lakers than bad. They look pretty good, especially at the defensive end. Lebron and AD look dominant with improving chemistry, and they are going to get Kyle Kuzma back soon. The bad news is that the offense is a little bit too much hero ball, KCP is garbage, and the Clippers have scary potential in a head-to-head matchup. Coming into Sunday, KCP had 1 point and no field goals in 48 minutes. This dude needs to change his name to Kentavious Caldwell “Poop”. Amazing that he’s on an NBA roster but Carmelo Anthony isn’t. Keep your fingers crossed the AD shoulder injury isn’t anything serious, and the train will keep moving and piling up wins.

Meanwhile, the Clippers looked impressive in their first two games, then wet the bed against the Suns. I’ll admit it. This team has the potential to be great, and it’s going to take some serious offensive discipline to break through their elite defense. That is of course when they decide to play defense, which they didn’t do on Saturday night. The NBA must have been so shocked the Suns are winning, they had to drug test DeAndre Ayton, resulting in his 25-game suspension. Also memo to Doc Rivers who thinks the Lakers shouldn’t be counting their Minneapolis Championships. In that case we shouldn’t count those bs Celtic titles before the modern era either, which would give the LA Lakers twice as many titles over Boston.

Bold strategy by the Bengals yesterday to not cover Cooper Kupp. I don’t think it worked out so well for them considering Kupp went off in London, and the Rams got another victory. It’s nice to see the Rams getting a couple of “get well” games against the Falcons, Bengals, and probably coming up against the Steelers. However, there are going to be some tough games ahead against the 49ers, Cowboys, and Seahawks. Where is Sean McVay coming up with these wild plays? It’s like he’s been studying the Madden playbook on Xbox. When we get into these tougher games, the difference is going to be how much the Rams can lean on Todd Gurley, which is still a big question mark at this point. For that reason, I’d like to see more of Darrell Henderson.

Then there’s the Chargers who finally played a team that blows it in the 4th quarter harder than them. Keenan Allen was dropping balls like it was New Years Eve in Times Square, and the Bolts were missing field goals like it’s a weekly tradition. Still, the Bears said “hold my beer” and failed to execute in the 4th, and missed the game winning field goal. The Chargers won, but this team is an even bigger flop in LA than they were in San Diego. At 3-5, I can’t see them beating out KC for the division, I don’t care how many healthy bodies they get back. They aren’t catching the Chiefs, and probably won’t even catch the Raiders either. The Bolts are impossible to trust in close game, and you can almost guarantee that will happen in the coming weeks in the most critical moments. It would almost be surprising if that didn’t happen.

Elsewhere around Week 8, the Patriots beat up the Browns, and Cleveland managed to throw an interception on a pitch in the process. That’s the most “Cleveland Brown thing” that I’ve heard. Sam Darnold threw three more interceptions for the Jets in the loss to the Jaguars, and should probably be working at the snack bar. The 49ers managed to hang 51 points on the Panthers, and nobody even notices how average Jimmy Garoppolo is. You know your football team is bad when you throw 4 touchdown passes and still lose to the Lions. Welcome to being a New York Giant Daniel Jones. Funny how the Raiders are missing a good pass rusher after trading Khalil Mack. “Knock on Wood” if your’e with me. Drew Brees is back and the Saints are still rolling. The Saints v 49ers game at the end of November is going to mean everything for home field in the NFC. The Broncos might actually be good if they had a quarterback, except, John Elway couldn’t find one if his life depended on it.

So if the Trojans make it to the Pac-12 Title game or even the Rose Bowl does Clay Helton keep his job? The question may not be all that unreasonable at this point. It was shocking enough that Helton kept his job last year. He has more excuses this year after the team is losing starters left and right, yet still winning. The Trojans got another win in the Pac-12 after beating Colorado on Friday night. The conference is dumpster fire, yet somehow, they are leading the Pac-12 South. If USC is morally above hiring Urban Meyer, then who else would take the gig that’s s clear-cut upgrade? It’s been fun looking at all these guys low on the depth chart for the Trojans. Hopefully for the sake of USC fans, they can find a coach there too.

As for UCLA, suddenly they’ve won two in a row after beating ASU. Even more shocking is the fact they control their own destiny in the Pac-12 South. Arizona State and Stanford are so embarrassed after losing to the Bruins, they are considering moving out of the conference. The strategy for UCLA must have been to shock ASU with a completely silent stadium, considering only 39,000 people showed up for the game. Even after two straight wins, I’m pretty sure UCLA had higher expectations than this when they brought in Chip Kelly.

For just a moment, I thought the Astros were cooked. I actually thought Houton was going to lose the World Series to a team whose logo was the same as Walgreen’s. Just knowing that the Nationals have won two games depresses me even further as a Dodger fan. The Boys in Blue can win 100 games over 162, but they can’t seem to win 11 games in a one-month stretch in October when the stakes are just a little higher? Nerd ball just doesn’t work in the playoffs.

Finally, a new episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it so read no further if that is the case. Judith is slicing up Walkers like a California Roll. She’s clearly getting some good training from Michonne. Poor Negan. He’s saving everyone, but he’s still getting in trouble for no damn reason. Aaron used to be a little more likeable, but these days he’s being kind of a bitch that doesn’t deserve that awesome arm he has. How long are they going to make Lydia pay for being a part of the Whisperers at one point? It’s like she’s Michael Vick even after he went to jail. Daryl and Carol are moving a little bit closer to real love, except Ezekiel can feel it, which is why he’s making moves on Michonne. Unfortunately, when you start falling in love during the apocalypse you end up dying, so Daryl and Carol might not be long. The show is just getting good again, except now rumors are flying some key characters are leaving the show. Some combination of Daryl, Michonne, and Carol could be gone, which would be another crippling blow to the show. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that.