September 28th, 2015
I’ll give you this Arizona fan…..you make some hilarious ESPN Gameday signs. You’re football team is no match for UCLA though. The Bruins went to Tucson and throttled the Wildcats 56-30, in a game that made UCLA look more like a legitimate top 5 team. UCLA moved up to #7 in the AP poll. Josh Rosen returned to being an elite quarterback just one week after having more turnovers than Betty Crocker. Wasn’t this supposed to be a hostile environment? Weren’t the Bruins supposed to be vulnerable after losing their heart and soul, Myles Jack? The last couple of seasons, UCLA has talked like they are an elite team, but fallen far short of that in moments like Saturday’s road game against Arizona. However, they have a much better quarterback in Josh Rosen, and much more depth. UCLA is going to face three more very tough tests on the road in Stanford, Utah, and USC, but based on what we’ve seen so far, you’ve gotta like their chances.
As for the Trojans, they won what was basically an elimination game against Arizona State, 42-14. It probably would have also meant the elimination of Steve Sarkisian as the USC head coach had they lost. Nevertheless, the win tells us that the Trojans aren’t the total disaster that we thought they might be after last weekend. Then again, when I see another five touchdown passes from Cody Kessler, I know USC played a team that either stinks or doesn’t have its shit together. By halftime all Sark had to worry about was ordering from Papa John’s to satisfy his craving for drunk food. The Trojans threw the ball to Adoree Jackson three times and he put up 131 yards and a touchdown. Since nobody ever dares to throw the ball at this guy on defense, why the hell doesn’t Sark get the ball in this guys hands more often on offense? You would think you would want the ball in the hands of one of the best athletes in the country, no? SC has some time to build momentum with the bye week followed by Washington, before heading to South Bend. USC moved up to #17 in the AP, and maybe they’ll have their act together by then.
Elsewhere around college football, The Fighting Irish of Notre Dame beat down UMass 62-27. The Irish remained undefeated and 6th in the AP poll, and the best part was that nobody got hurt doing anything stupid this week. I’ve gotta think at some point the injuries are going to catch up to Notre Dame, but I do like their chances on the road next week against Clemson. The Tigers offensive line has been dinged up, and they looked pretty underwhelming against Louisville. Meanwhile, the funeral for the Oregon Ducks football season took place on Saturday night after getting slaughtered by Utah. The Ducks still know how to waste $100,00 on ugly uniforms every week. The last time Tennessee beat Florida, I think the wheel had just been invented. How is Texas Tech unranked after nearly beating TCU? The Frogs are going to have to score 60 points every week if they hope to make the playoffs. All of the Alabama fans are really confused about the rumors of Lane Kiffin allegedly sleeping with Nick Saban’s daughter. They wonder why he isn’t picking up chicks at family reunions like everyone else. I guess Ole Miss wasn’t the only one bending over a Saban last week. This punter from Syracuse is an animal……
On to week 3 of the NFL where Chargers were run over by Adrian Peterson and the Vikings. The Bolts are losing offensive linemen faster than Bruce Jenner lost his penis, and they had no chance to protect Philip Rivers. They should have better luck against the Browns and banged up Steelers in the next two weeks though. Meanwhile, Tom Brady now has 400 career TD passes. One for every scandal the Pats have had since he’s played for them. The Cardinals are strongly considering making Colin Kaepernick their starting QB. His chemistry with their receivers is incredible after throwing four interceptions for the 49ers. DeMarco Murray was inactive for the Eagles, and as a result, he had his best game of the season. Jimmy Clausen is so bad, he’s actually making the Bears do the unthinkable and miss Jay Cutler. I was beginning to think that the Seahawks didn’t even know that Jimmy Graham plays for them. Even Jason Pierre Paul thinks the Rams need to practice better safety with fireworks. I could swear the Colts are actually trying to get the #1 draft pick in 2016. The Cowboys could put me at Running Back and I could have a 1,000 yard season. Speaking of the Cowboys, they along with the Saints and Browns have received 2,000 missed calls from Tim Tebow regarding their quarterback position. This may be the worst 2 pt conversion ever. I think Ahmad Hall was playing against someone in fantasy football that had him on their team……
To baseball where, the Dodgers are a disaster. The Boys in Blue just got swept by the worst team in baseball, the Colorado Rockies. Their magic number is only 2 games to clinch the NL West, but the Dodgers have problems. When it comes to pitching, they can’t trust anybody not named Kershaw, Greinke, or Jansen. Everybody else stinks, and will likely be blowing things up in the postseason a few weeks from now. Then there’s Yasiel Puig, who likely will not be playing in the postseason due to a hamstring injury. He is rehabbing in Arizona, however, a very reliable source close to me saw him last night at a bar in Arizona, getting his groove on, on the dance floor at a local bar. Can we just trade this clown already? The only good news is that with just one win in San Francisco, the Dodgers will be celebrating a division title on the field of their hated rivals. As much as I love rubbing it in the face of those organic eating liberals, the Dodgers have bigger things to concern themselves with, like home field advantage against the Mets. The Mets have a 1.5 game lead on LA for home field, and sine the Dodgers are 7 games under .500 on the road this year, I think it’s safe to say they need it.
As for the Angels, their resiliency has been impressive. With one week to go in the season, the Halos are just .5 games back of Houston for the AL’s final wild card spot. I think I’ve written these guys off about 4 times in the last month, but somehow they are still in the race. The problem is, they are basically fighting for one spot with Houston and Minnesota. They are also missing Joe Smith and now Huston Street for at least the last week of the season. Houston has the more favorable schedule facing the Mariners and the D’backs, while the Angels have to deal with the A’s and the Rangers. Even the Twins get Cleveland, and a Kansas City team that won’t have anything to play for. I don’t know what’s gotten into Johnny G, but it looks like he’s been slamming a 5 Hour Energy drink before every game in the last week. It also doesn’t hurt to have this guy playing center field for you……
Just another day in Washington where Jonathan Papelbon tries to choke out Bryce Harper….
NBA training camp opens today, and that means Lakers basketball is right around the corner. The Lakers actually signed Metta World Peace to a one year deal. Since Metta hasn’t played NBA ball in about a year, he’ll probably change his name to Metta World War III once we see him play. This just goes to show you that the Lakers really don’t have a lot of great options at the small forward position. To a large extent, Metta is going to be mentoring Julius Randle, which should help the young Laker power forward develop much quicker.
Meanwhile, Paul Piece says that if the Clippers win an NBA title, he is going to retire. I guess that means Pierce will be playing until he’s 100 year old.
Finally, the 2nd to last episode of the season of Fear The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it. What I’m starting to love about this show is that it’s becoming good television showing very few if any walkers. I guess that’s why they call it “Fear The Walking Dead” because it’s just the concept that we are fearing in this show. I definitely envisioned the hospital we saw, just like the “Grady Memorial Hospital” in season 5 of The Walking Dead, but that wasn’t entirely the case. It was both a real hospital, and a penitentiary. Interesting that Nick was saved from quarantine by some dude that’s bribing soldiers with expensive watches. The history of The Walking Dead tells us that if you’re black, you’re going to die, and those walkers will tear you to shreds. Chris and Alicia have this weird romance where they apparently get turned on by breaking into rich peoples places, dressing up in their clothes, and breaking their crap. It’s weird and borderline incestual for the almost step brother and sister. The most powerful moment of the episode was clearly the torturing of Andrew that was done by Daniel and Ophelia. This is the first time in this show we’ve seen people doing horrible things out of necessity, and it left a major psychological trauma for both Daniel and Ophelia when it was done. Travis on the other hand shows he has yet to come to grips with going to those lengths, as he won’t even shoot a walker when the military asks him to. I’m really waiting to see if any of these characters tie in to The Walking Dead in the coming seasons. Looking forward to the final episode next week!