Monthly Archives: September 2019

Monday Morning Coffee

September 16, 2019

The Rams handled business yesterday against the Saints. It wasn’t much of a fair fight given that Drew Brees left early with an injury, but their defense was phenomenal. Assuming that Brees is going to be ok though, I sure hope these teams get to meet again in the NFC Championship game this season. However, are we really going to have to hear more whining from Saints fans about getting screwed again on another call? I’m sure New Orleans is going to be upset. Gayle Benson will probably call the NBA office and demand more from the Lakers in the Anthony Davis trade out of spite, and demand an investigation by the FBI on the officiating. Look, yesterday was a bad call. Jared Goff really fumbled. The playoff game they got screwed too. However, the Saints offense did nothing yesterday, so I don’t want to hear any crying about the officials. Get over it and move on. Besides, the refs looked completely competent before the game…

What a typical Charger game that was. It’s like they are breeding their kickers to suck. Regardless of all the injuries, they should have won that game. Can Philip Rivers stick any of his kids on the offensive line or at defensive back? Better yet, can any of them kick a field goal? He only has 27 to choose from. It’s clear the Chargers don’t miss Melvin Gordon because Austin Ekeler is in beast mode. However, they clearly are still untrustworthy in close games, especially with their kicking issues. Only the Chargers could play in a soccer stadium, yet have some of the worst kickers in the world. Tom Telesco should be spending the next couple of weeks scouting every MLS team in the country to see if he can find somebody halfway decent to do the job.

Elsewhere around Week 2 in the NFL, the Dolphins are so bad, Roger Goodell has called the ACC in attempts to trade them for Clemson. The Jaguars lost to the Texans, but Gardner Minshew definitely looks like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite, and acts like him too by stretching in the locker room with only his jock strap on. Do NFL GM’s still think Lamar Jackson is a running back? If so, that type of logic makes them qualified to be the next AD at USC (more on that in a moment). Dak Prescott looks amazing and his bank account will be too very soon. The Vikings lost to the Packers, and if Kirk Cousins isn’t arrested for stealing money from Minnesota, then white privilege really does exist. I was going to bag on Cam Newton for laying an egg on Thursday, but the guy looks so physically beat up, wouldn’t be surprised if he pulls an Andrew Luck and retires.

To College Football where USC’s stay in the Top 25 was about as short as Peter Dinklage. The Trojans made BYU’s season by losing to them in OT on Saturday night. The ginger-ale was really flowing in Provo after that one. In typical Clay Helton fashion, USC had no offensive rhythm, their offensive line was pushed around, and their tackling was worse than a Pee Wee football team. I guess Kedon Slovis might not be the next Sam Darnold after all. The Trojans could easily have a losing record after the next 3 games against ranked opponents. It also looks as though President Carol Folt is planning a huge overhaul of the program after dismissing Lynn Swann (I mean after he “resigned”). Swann can continue doing what he’s always been doing, which is playing golf. Folt appointed Dave Roberts as the interim AD, and passing up Senior Associate AD Steve Lopes. Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if OJ Simpson ends up as the next Athletic Director knowing this schools ethics.

Meanwhile, UCLA is a total disaster. They were murdered by Oklahoma at the Rose Bowl on Saturday, in a game that was made even more embarrassing by the fact 60% of the stands were filled with Sooner fans. Chip Kelly is making Jim Mora Jr. look like Bill Belichick. There is absolutely nothing going right with this program. The Bruins need to pray that Kelly just gets so sick of losing that he quits. Hard to imagine with him swimming in money, but stranger things have happened. Not only can the man not recruit, it’s crystal clear that his system is more outdated than a VCR. Prepare for some major irrelevance for a while Bruin fans.

Let’s talk some hoops. The Celtics not only lost to France, but they finished 7th in the World Championship tournament. No not Team USA, the Celtics. We sent 4 Boston Celtic players. You think if we sent 4 Los Angeles Lakers we would have finished 7th? I don’t want to hear the media try to tell me how great this young Celtics core is again. The same Celtics core that was supposedly “head and shoulders” better than any other trade package for Anthony Davis. These guys should be deported to Siberia for embarrassing our country.

The Dodgers clinched the division earlier in the week, but the playoff competition looks absolutely miserable to go up against. Facing the Nationals with Scherzer, Strasburg, and Corbin? No thanks. Going up against the Cubs? Have you seen how the Dodgers are giving up home runs of late? The Cardinals? Nightmares from the past forever. The Braves? Not the same jokers they beat up on in the past. I haven’t even gotten to how awful it would be playing the Astros or Yankees. I also don’t care what Dave Roberts says: home field advantage if vital for the Dodgers. in 54 League Championship and World Series since 2001, teams with home field advantage win the series 60% of the time. The Dodgers are also 36 games above .500 at home, and only 8 games aboive .500 on the road. So don’t tell me it’s not “win at all cost” important Dave Roberts. No matter what the spreadsheet is telling you.

At least the Angels have figured out this whole tanking thing. They’ve lost 6 of their last 7, and they are shutting down players left and right for the rest of the season. I guess elbow injuries are played out with this team, so they are starting a new trend with lower body injuries. Mike Trout, Justin Upton, and Shoehei Ohtani have all been shutdown in the last week with injuries to their lower extremities. I’m not even sure having $34 million to spend this off-season can make up a 30 game difference between the Angels and the Astros. At least Mike Trout is a good bet to win the MVP.

Monday Morning Coffee

September 9, 2019

Breaking news: the Rams are still really good. In the 1st half, their offense looked they were playing the 5th quarter of the Super last year, yet they still managed to hold off the Carolina Panthers on the road. The defense is legit, even after losing Eric Weddle to a head laceration yesterday. Weddle looked like Negan took him out back with Lucille, but hopefully he’ll be back in action next week. A sign of a good team is one that wins when it isn’t at it’s best. The Rams were far from it and they took care of business. There’s still a lot of concerns about Todd Gurley and his overall durability, but he showed up in the 4th quarter. Also the new $134 million man, Jared Goff, should continue to improve and keep the Rams in elite company.

Then there’s the Chargers, who shockingly didn’t start their season with their traditional disappointing loss. You remember the Chargers right? That other football team in LA with 5 or 6 fans? They managed to defeat a diminished Colts team yesterday, after Austin Ekeler did his best Barry Sanders impression. I’m pretty sure the Bolts don’t miss Melvin Gordon right now. However, this team is missing too many key guys to have a real chance to be a Super Bowl contender. Gordon, Russell Okung, and Derwin James are all out of the lineup with injuries or contract disputes, which is going to hurt in the long run. After seeing Zeke’s record breaking contract, and Ekeler go crazy yesterday, the Chargers have offered Melvin Gordon a year’s pass to Disneyland. In a competitive AFC, that may be enough to prevent them from returning to the postseason. Then again, I’m not sure it matters with KC and New England head and shoulders above everyone else.

Elsewhere around Week 1, Someone needs to teach Khalil Mack to play quarterback, because Mitch Trubisky is still trash. Hell of a start by both New York football teams. You can give the Browns a promising rookie QB, OBJ, and some cool uniforms, and they still suck. Patrick Mahomes is still a human video game. Antonio Brown should change his name to “Antonio Clown”. Still, the Patriots dismantled the Steelers without AB, and it’s not even going to be fair when he suits up for them next week. “Knock on wood if you’re with me.” Jameis Winston was so bad, the 49ers are going to make him their starting quarterback. The Dolphins made Lamar Jackson look like Dan Marino. The Colts gave $29 million to Jacoby Brissett and Brian Hoyer. Jim Irsay is clearly drinking again.

To College Football where the Trojans are 2-0. That means that Clay Helton and Lynn Swann should be receiving a 15 year extension this week right? Kedon Slovis suddenly looks like the 2nd coming of Sam Darnold, except that might not be what the Trojan faithful wants to hear. If Slovis is that good, this is like owning a Ferrari but not knowing how to drive it. Stanford had to play with their backup QB, and simply did not look that good. The 2-0 start feels a lot more about the questionable competition than how good USC really is. Only time will tell, but after BYU, the schedule gets rough: Utah, Washington, and Notre Dame. The last thing USC needs is for Clay Helton and Lynn Swann to stick around, so most Trojan fans should be in favor of tanking like an NBA team.

It’s a shame that the Rose Bowl doesn’t sell alcohol anymore. UCLA fans really need it to get through the season. This team looks more and more embarrassing every time they play. UCLA should never lose to San Diego State, even if they were coached by Helen Keller. Somehow, Chip Kelly managed to pull it off. This man is being paid millions to drive a football program into the ground. I don’t know what’s worse: the incredibly mediocre talent that has been recruited, or the disaster on the field itself. I guess $23 million doesn’t buy what it used to.

I love how Notre Dame beats Louisville by 18 points and they are “overrated”. Meanwhile, Michigan barely hangs on against Army, and it’s just “an off-day for a solid football team”. Then there’s Tennessee’s embarrassing loss to BYU. The SEC should announce that effective immediately it will no longer be acknowledging Tennessee’s presence and that it will be claiming Clemson as the 14th member of the conference. It’s a close call between the Dolphins and Florida State as to who exactly the worst football team in the state is, but FSU seemed determined here….

We’re approaching the start of training camp in the NHL, and that means the Kings are about to get going. By going, I mean going straight down the toilet. The Kings supposedly had a great draft, and some are claiming they have a Top 5 farm system. Sorry but it’s a little difficult to get excited about a farm system that is about 3 years away from competing in the NHL. When your team is comprised of Anze Kopitar, Drew Doughty, and Jonathan Quick, you expect to compete for Stanley Cups. There were actually several solid bargain free agents out there that could even help the Kings now, without compromising this so called bright future. However, apparently the Kings would rather give these roster spots to mediocre young players than compete for a playoff spot. It’s a sad state of affairs for this once elite hockey club.

Finally, I’ve decided I’m going to lay off the Dodgers this week. They’ve been beaten up pretty good lately, and will probably get beaten up pretty good come October the way their pitching has been bleeding runs, and their hitters have disappeared like Houdini. Oh wait, I said I was going to lay off. So much for that. Not only is home field advantage throughout the playoffs in jeopardy, they might not even have home field advantage in the NL playoffs. Just because this late season futility is predictable, doesn’t make it any less frustrating.

Monday Morning Coffee

September 2, 2019

What a brutal start to the season for the Trojans. They lose JT Daniels to a knee injury, and had it not been for a couple of miraculous special teams plays, they would have lost to Fresno State. The offense looked just as unimaginative as it did last year. The two scoring drives USC put together in the first quarter are what a program like that is supposed to do against Fresno State. None of that happened after Daniels went down. However, the QB competition the last few weeks has been close, the expectations shouldn’t change for Helton. After seeing this team play just one game this season, I think it’s fair to say the Coliseum isn’t the only thing that needs to be rebuilt. Speaking of that new Scholarship Tower, USC continues to embarrass itself by sticking pictures of OJ Simpson everywhere. I guess USC is ok celebrating a murderer considering their football team has been getting murdered as well. Even the fans are struggling too.

Meanwhile, things didn’t look great for UCLA in their first game against Cincinnati either. Chip Kelly looks like a dude who is getting paid living on what he did 10 years ago. Dorian Thompson-Robinson completed 30% of his passes! 30%!!! Imagine how bad UCLA’s backup QB’s are when they can’t beat out a guy who is completing 30% of his passes. Chip Kelly had the 8th best recruiting class in the Pac-12. I realize that he often finds undervalued talent, but that just seems unacceptable. The Bearcats aren’t a bad team, but I don’t see things getting a whole lot better this season for UCLA Football.

Elsewhere around College Football, Tennessee and Florida State both can’t figure out who embarrassed themselves more in Week 1. In typical SEC fashion, they both scheduled cup cakes and lost in shocking fashion. Alabama and Clemson cruised to easy victories, and I have no idea why we are all wasting our time. Just get us to another championship game with these two teams since they are head and shoulders better than everybody else. This is really the signal that the Tennessee coaches came up with?

https://twitter.com/lt4kicks/status/1167925490620829698?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1167925490620829698&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.12up.com%2Fposts%2Fvideo-tennessee-vols-dc-sends-nsfw-looking-signal-to-team-against-georgia-state-01dkmwdhvvae

As usual, everybody made a huge deal over nothing with Kobe and Shaq last week. If you actually listened to Kobe’s entire interview, he was extremely complimentary of Shaq, talking about how amazing of a player he was. Of course most journalists that cover the NBA have the memory of a 5-year-old, and only focused on the fact Kobe called him lazy. Kobe didn’t say anything that you don’t already know about Shaq, or that he hasn’t told Shaq, or that Shaq himself doesn’t already know. Kobe was great. Shaq was great. They were great together. They could have been even greater. What never gets old though is when Shaq finds a way to rip Dwight Howard in the process!

https://twitter.com/kobebryant/status/1166765322579263488

I can’t believe some of you still wonder why I criticize the Dodgers like I do. They look like hot garbage at the moment, and extremely vulnerable come postseason time. Clayton Kershaw and Hyun-Jin Ryu need a freaking bye week, Max Muncy and Dustin May are injured, the rest of the team stopped hitting, and worst of all, Kenley Jansen is hemorrhaging runs. Are you really telling me that in one month from now he’s going to look like the $80 million closer we expect him to be? The Dodgers would be wise to spend the next four weeks looking for a reliable replacement for Jansen, or else more October futility is on the way.

As for the Angels, the news just keeps getting worse on and off the field. The results of the Tyler Skaggs autopsy revealed there was alcohol and opioids in his system. That means we might be in for a long and expensive lawsuit between the Halos and the Skaggs family. I’m not going to pretend like I’ve experienced losing a child, or been through a situation like the Skaggs family is going through. However, unless there is some weird foul play we don’t know about here, Tyler is responsible for what he put in his own body. That shouldn’t be pinned on someone else just to preserve reputation, character, or legacy. This season can’t end soon enough for the Angels and their fans.

Finally, the Melvin Gordon situation is escalating. The Chargers are actually granting Gordon permission to find a trade partner. That’s like allowing your girlfriend to go seek a new relationship when you know she’s put on some pounds, and not looking her finest. Even though Melvin Gordon is not out of shape, he’s a running back. That means teams don’t like tying up money in them, unless they are elite. Gordon is very good, but not Ezekiel Elliott or Todd Gurley. No team is going to pay him $14 million, as well as give up a 1st round pick or two for him. I also like how immediately after the Chargers granted him permission, Houston and Kansas City all locked up cheaper running backs. Whatever market there was for Gordon has already shrunk. Now we’re already hearing rumors that Melvin Gordon is expected to end his holdout within the next week, as the Chargers are only offering him his original $5 million salary. Should have just taken the $10 mill you were being offered!