Monthly Archives: December 2015

Monday Morning Coffee

Kobe sits out

December 21st, 2015

I like how everybody thought for a second that the Lakers might reel off a few wins after beating the Bucks.  Nice try folks.  This team still stinks.  They looked like a bunch of high schoolers playing against pros in Oklahoma City, and they got demolished by Houston.  Poor Anthony Brown.  His first NBA start and he’s up against Kevin Durant.  It was like child abuse.  The young players are coming along, but watching the last two games just shows you how much work is ahead of them.  Then there’s Kobe.  At least he’s playing better and not looking like total dog crap.  The real question though is whether or not he should be an all-star.  Being an NBA-All Star isn’t easy.  The honor is only given to 24 players, and people always get the shaft.  Take a player like Eric Bledsoe for instance.  Having an all-star worthy year, but may or may not make it. If Kobe makes the team as a “legacy award”, that’s a spot a player like Bledsoe won’t get.  Bledsoe may be young, but he’s a guard, which is a stacked position in the West.  This may be his best chance to make an all-star team.  Would it be nice for Kobe to be there? Of course, but it shouldn’t happen at the expense of a roster spot.  The commissioner should give the West an honorary 13th spot.  I don’t think anybody would have a problem with that.

As for the Clippers, exactly as I suspected.  They tear it up against the league’s trash, then get exposed against real competition.  Only 5 of their 16 wins have come against teams over .500.  They  fell short against the Spurs then got punked by the Rockets, who are softer than Charmin.  The funny part is, the Clippers haven’t actually played that badly against teams like the Spurs and Warriors, but instead of building off the success they’ve had, they always have the body language of team that knows it isn’t going to come through in the most critical moments.  They also don’t seem to enjoy playing with each other either.  This is a leadership problem more than anything.  Blake Griffin, Chris Paul, DeAndre Jordan, and Doc Rivers have created this culture.  They are the ones that need to be accountable for turning it around if it’s ever going to happen.  Since they’ve been together for years now, it seems unlikely to change.

Dwight Howard is such a chump.  That dude has fallen so far, and his act is wearing thin in Houston. He’s played the last two games against the Lakers and Clippers like he’s playing pickup basketball at 24 Hour Fitness.  His teammates don’t even respect him anymore, and he’s a total liar.  He claims he doesn’t want out of Houston and that his relationship with James Harden is fine.  That’s about as believable as a promise from a Presidential candidate, especially since Dwight echoed the same thing in Orlando and Houston before he left those teams.  I can’t imagine any team that’s going to give him a 4 year max deal if he opts out of his contract this summer.  If Darryl Morey were smart, he’d ship that fool to Philly to let him rot, and just take the cap space and some draft picks.  Meanwhile, Kendrick Perkins set this epic screen last week…..

For a little over a week, UCLA looked like it might be one of the best basketball teams in the country. They even looked that way in the 1st half against Carolina.  It was like John Wooden rose from the dead and took over the body of Steve Alford.  In the 2nd half Saturday, Wooden went back to his grave because the Bruins returned to playing no defense and turning the ball over, while getting outclassed by elite competition.  Much of that can probably be attributed to UCLA big men Tony Parker and Thomas Welsh, who got themselves into foul trouble early, and couldn’t play together for much of the game that they dominated early on.  UCLA probably won’t face another team that good until NCAA tournament, but at least they’ll be well prepared for Pac 12 play.  It’s just hard to know exactly how good this team is right now.

Has anybody seen MonMouth play basketball? Then again, you probably are all wondering where that school is.  This squad has actually beaten some halfway decent competition this year, taking down UCLA, USC, and Notre Dame.  They’ll be a dangerous mid major come tournament time.  However, the real story with these guys is their bench.  They have some epic celebrations that you’ve gotta see.  Of course there’s rumors of the NCAA creating rules to prevent teams like MonMouth from doing these types of celebrations.  As usual, the NCAA is nothing but a wet blanket that won’t even let these kids have fun.  Now this is a team that is clearly having fun both on and off the court…..

The Dodgers off-season is actually becoming hilarious.  The latest joke is that they couldn’t even finalize their deal with pitcher Hisashi Iwakuma, who ended up re-signing with Seattle.  Sorry but there’s just no way the Dodgers aren’t doing this on purpose.  You think a team goes from a $300 million payroll to half that in one season accidentally? Friedman has been stupid by just giving away talent, but the Dodger ownership is enabling them to do this because their $5 billion television contract isn’t what it was once worth without being distributed by Time Warner Cable.  Other than Corey Seager, many of the Dodgers top prospects are several years away from making a big impact at the Major League level.  If the Dodgers were really trying to make their team better they would have acquired Todd Frazier in that three way deal last week, and would have already signed Howie Kendrick.  You thought it was Frank McCourt that didn’t like to spend money and only Ned Colletti that signed old guys? Think again.  For now, we’re re-living the past.  Don’t worry though….most of you won’t actually have to watch the garbage product the Dodgers put on the field next year, because you won’t be able to without the Dodgers channel distributed again.  Meanwhile, the TMZ video of Yasiel Puig’s recent violent acts surfaced.  However, TMZ later reported that it wasn’t Puig in the video.  That makes sense…..there weren’t enough hits.

Fake PuigAnybody actually watch the Bowl games this past weekend? In case you missed it, there was New Mexico vs Arizona in  “The Meth Bowl”.  BYU vs Utah in “The Premarital Sex is Bad Bowl”.  Ohio vs Appalachian State in “The Teams Michigan Can’t Handle Bowl.”  San Jose State vs Georgia State in “The These Two Teams Play Football? Bowl”.  And finally, there was Arkansas State vs Louisiana Tech in “The Still Better Than The SEC East Bowl”.

It seems like we’re closer than ever to an NFL stadium solution, but very far apart on the owners agreeing which teams will be moving to LA.  The Chargers and the Raiders have one foot out the door in their current markets, who have done very little to provide them with a solution for a new stadium.  The Rams on the other hand, have been provided with a reasonable stadium solution in St. Louis from public money.  However, do you really think that Stan Kroenke would buy all that land in Inglewood and not move his team there? I still think when push comes to shove, Kroenke is going to move his team regardless of what the owners think, even if it means dealing with lawsuits from the league.  If the Rams were to move to LA, in many ways the Chargers and Raiders are screwed, because they desperately need stadiums.  What the Chargers don’t realize though is that if they move to LA, their fan base will be even smaller than that of the Los Angeles Clippers.  When the Chargers had their training camp in Carson, nobody showed up.  Many fans from San Diego are also claiming they wouldn’t follow the team anymore if they move. At least the Rams and the Raiders can stake their claim to a fan base they already know is here.

Speaking of the NFL, Week 15 went down yesterday.  How did Odell Beckham not get ejected from that game? If it were a UFC fight he would have been disqualified.  The Dallas Cowboys have now clinched a wild card bye, a division round bye, conference championship bye, and a Super Bowl bye.  The Chiefs have won 8 straight games and have been dominating for weeks.  I doubt anybody in the AFC is going to take down New England though.  The Chargers finally scored a rushing touchdown!  Wasn’t Melvin Gordon supposed to solve all those problems? I don’t know if the Panthers can handle the pressure of going into the playoffs if they are 16-0.  Sometimes Teddy Bridgewater makes you think he’s an elite QB, like yesterday.  The Bills made Kirk Cousins look like Dan Marino.  The Redskins look like they are going to take the NFC East.  I wonder how RGIII feels about all this.  Remember that guy?  The Seahawks are still dangerous, but them playing on the road in the playoffs is like Superman battling Lex Luther without his cape.   I have no idea how the Texans have 7 wins, but they look like they will win that pile of trash known as the AFC South.   After the Rams beat the Bucs on Thursday Night Football, they should take on Mayonnaise next week in the “The Condiment Bowl”……


Steve Harvey had the most hilarious screw up last night during the Miss Universe contest in Las Vegas.  He mistakenly announced Miss Columbia as the winner, when it turned out it was Miss Philippines.  That mistake was so bad, I fully expect him to be hosting an ESPN midday talk show shortly.  Here it is in case you missed it……..

That was a good season 5 finale of Homeland last night, but it almost covered waaaaay too much.  Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it.  In less than an hour, we covered Carrie preventing the Sarin attack, her suddenly renewed then severed relationship with Jonas, Laura’s threat, Carrie’s cloudy future with the agency, and Allison’s whereabouts.  There was so much that it felt like an episode of 24.   And of course it left the fans unsatisfied because Peter Quinn died.  Everybody wanted him to live because they wanted him and Carrie to start some type of romance.  But it’s Homeland, which means that everybody that Carrie loves dies.  Quinn was a man who was living on borrowed time all season, so his death (or so we think) was inevitable.  I also wanted a more satisfying ending to the Allison saga.  In fact, I kind of wanted her to get away, instead of just seeing her shot to death in the trunk of a car.  I still wanted to see her demise, but in a different way. Since each season of Homeland post Brody has been a  a story by itself, it’s hard to know how good the show will be moving forward.  You know that Carrie is coming back to the agency, or else the show won’t work.  I guess I need to take the leap of faith and watch next fall just to be sure.

Monday Morning Coffee


December 14th, 2015

I must have missed the big announcement last week.  The announcement that Byron Scott has stepped down as the Laker head coach, and that Kobe Bryant has volunteered to take over those duties.  That really happened right? I mean it sure felt like it last Wednesday in Minnesota when Kobe told Byron that he wanted to sit out the 4th quarter and overtime in order for the Lakers younger players to gain valuable experience in crunch time.  I’ve supported Byron more than most people throughout the season, and his desire to make D’Angelo Russell, Julius Randle, and Jordan Clarkson work for everything.  However, in that situation it was a no brainer to play the kids, and the fact Byron needed Kobe to point it out is about as embarrassing as being a Clippers fan.  In any case, we knew Jordan Clarkson can play, but does anybody still think that D’Angelo Russell or Julius Randle are going to be a bust after the last week? Patience people.  It’s a long climb back to the top but Russell, Clarkson, and Randle just might get the Lakers there.  The Lakers are doing such a great job of tanking right now that they actually afforded themselves the opportunity to win a few games.  That might actually be good for morale.

The Clippers continue to pile up wins against the finest mediocrity the Association has to offer.  They may have won 7 of their last 9 games, but the Clipps haven’t beaten a team over .500 in 19 games.  The more and more I watch this team, the more I think that their window has slammed shut.  We’ve seen four seasons of the Blake Griffin-Chris Paul-Deandre Jordan Clippers, and they haven’t been any better than the best teams in the franchise’s history.  This reality is starting to set in for Doc Rivers, who very quietly is taking calls on Jamal Crawford, Lance Stephenson, and Josh Smith, but not finding much of a trade market for him.  The Paul Pierce acquisition has also been a complete failure, as even he admits that he’s frustrated by the things he can’t do anymore, and is already talking about retirement at years end.  More than anything, nobody knows what the Clippers identity is.  Uptempo? Defensive toughness? The only identity I see is a bunch of front running whiners.

The Warriors probably considered firing Luke Walton after almost losing a game on Friday in Boston.  It took a double overtime game the night before, and the second night of a back-to-back on the last game of a 7 game trip for the Warriors to actually lose a game.  The streak may be over, but don’t be surprised if you see another long one.

On to college hoops where the Bruins suddenly have it together.  A little over a week after taking down #1 Kentucky, the Bruins went on the road and knocked off #20 Gonzaga, and will likely be back in the AP Top 25 this week.  I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but the Bruins are taking on the personality of it’s coach: scrappy play, good shot selection, and limiting turnovers.  For those of you hoping Steve Alford fails miserably so UCLA can get a better coach, you’re not going to like this. I know there’s a lot of you out there, but you’re just going to have to get behind this guy, because the Bruins might just quietly be contenders for the Pac-12 Title.

It’s time for your weekly Dodger offseason update.  Oh wait….there’s nothing to update because Andrew Friedman and his band of nerds haven’t done crap.  Friedman is supposedly a baseball genius, and when you are a GM in LA, you can’t fail….because you have unlimited resource.  Friedman is a genius all right, because he is finding a way to fail harder than a college fraternity boy, despite having unlimited resources.  Friedman also claimed he’s trying to make the team younger.  In order to get younger, Friedman and Farhan Zaidi add 35-year-old Hisashi Iwakuma and 37-year-old Chase Utley.  These two might know baseball, but they sure don’t know math.

As for the Angels, the news is only slightly better.  They are busy adding some minor parts like Yunel Escobar and Craig Gentry.  Yes, I had to Google those guys too to figure out who the hell they were. The Halos have a pretty good team, but the problem is the Rangers and Astros have even better teams that are on the rise.  The Angels should have signed Howie Kendrick yesterday, and they also should be all over Justin Upton.  I realize that Arte Moreno doesn’t want to pay the luxury tax, but the window to win with Mike Trout won’t last forever, especially with Albert Pujols’ 85th Birthday around the corner.  There’s still time to make moves, but the Angels need to be bold if they want to keep up with the rest of the AL West.

The Heisman Trophy ceremony was just irritating to watch.  I’m not sure anybody could snub Christian McCaffrey, who was by far the best player in college football this year.  Alabama fans plan to celebrate Derrick Henry’s Heisman Trophy win by having sex with their cousins.  Then again, everybody has their noses so far up the SEC’s rear end this can’t be a surprise.  Neither was Johnny Manziel’s Heisman ballot, which was 1. Jack Daniels 2. Johnnie Walker and 3. Jim Beam.

Finally, Week 13 of the NFL was in full effect yesterday.  Danny Woodhead and the Chargers were dropping more balls yesterday than puberty in Kansas City.  What happened to the Falcons? Being a fan of them is like having your dad show up to your first birthday party and then never seeing him again. The Broncos should’t even be allowed to watch the playoffs on TV after losing to a Raiders team with -12 yards of offense in a half.  The NFC East Champion should get a spot in the Alamo Bowl.  Will Dez Bryant ever make a play that is ruled a catch in Green Bay? Now the Cincinnati Bengals can now disappoint their fans again in this years playoffs without Andy Dalton.  Johnny Manziel found out that he can’t have whiskey on the sideline…..

Monday Morning Coffee


December 7th, 2015

This is obviously a lot closer to Tuesday Morning Coffee, but with everything going on, much to get to nonetheless.  Zack Greinke is gone, just like I told you he would be months ago.  I think the question needs to be asked at this point: is Andrew Friedman an idiot or was he brought in to destroy the team? It feels like just yesterday that the Dodgers were spending money on players like Charlie Sheen spends money on hookers and blow.  They even spent $62 million on unproven Cuban players like Hector Olivera, but now you’re telling me they got outbid by Arizona by $50 million for a proven elite pitcher?  I’m sure some of you will argue that it isn’t reasonable to give a pitcher over 30 years of age over $30 million a year.  However, it also isn’t reasonable to spend $30 on a hot dog and a beer at the game, but fans do it because it’s just the cost associated with watching a good baseball team.  Of course Friedman foolishly would rather spend $45 million on what’s likely to be three injury plagued years of Hisashi Iwakuma, then twice that on 3-4 years of brilliance on Greinke.  This may have something to do with the Dodgers not actually being able to distribute the SportsNet LA channel due to failed negotiations, which ultimately is putting pressure on Time Warner, and in turn putting pressure on them to give back financially to TWC and lower their payroll.  Either way, Friedman is still an idiot for trading Dee Gordon, and trading Matt Kemp for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  He’s also about to waste what’s left of Clayton Kershaw’s prime.  Even if they get Ardolis Chapman, they will only be renting him for a year.   Get ready for a crappy few years Dodger fans.  We’ve now become a small market baseball team.

Meanwhile, the Angels may not be going after any big name pitchers, but they are rumored to be in the mix for Jason Heyward.  If somehow the Halos could lock up the 26 year old outfielder, and bring back Howie Kendrick at 2nd base, I’d really like their chances in the American League, let alone the AL West.  The Angels still have some very good arms in their rotation, and they’ll also have some payroll coming off the books next year to spend big now.  The Angels are also shopping pitcher CJ Wilson, and at this point, most fans would gladly pack his bags for him and drive him to the airport.

To the NBA, where this Kobe circus is just too much.  We have to endure 60 more games of this farewell tour? Look, I love Kobe, but I echo the sentiments of Jerry West, in that it’s just too damn painful to watch him like this.  It’s like watching Batman get his ass kicked by Bain.  It’s like watching Superman get destroyed by Lex Luther.  Or Spiderman get beat down by the Green Goblin.  I totally understand the idea that he needs to say goodbye, and that he’s never cared about his critics, and is finishing his career by raging against them once again.  There may be poetic beauty in that, but there isn’t aesthetic beauty in watching him shoot 30% from the field every game.  It’s been so bad and Byron Scott’s rotation decisions have been so bizarre of late that you have to wonder if he’s doing this on purpose.  There’s still a lot better ways for this team to lose than this.  D’Angelo Russell and Jordan Clarkson pay the price the most for this circus tour, as it will only delay their growth  and development.  At least Byron Scott is giving the Lakers a great chance of landing a franchise player, in Ben Simmons.

As for the Clippers, they are just treading water with a recent win over Orlando.  They stink on the road, and now they have a 5 game trip coming up against some soft competition, so this would be a good time for them to pretend like they have it together.  You think Kobe’s 27% shooting is embarrassing? The real embarrassment is DeAndre Jordan getting a max contract and not even being able to make a free throw.

To College Football, where USC was basically one bad Saturday afternoon away from having buyers remorse about the Clay Helton hire.  Sure enough, that bad Saturday afternoon came a couple of days ago, when they lost to Stanford in the Pac 12 Championship game.  The Trojans were totally outmatched by the Cardinal, who played their typical smash mouth style of football, running the ball and controlling the clock.  USC should be able to handle business in the Holiday Bowl against a Wisconsin team that has been about as impressive President Obama’s last term in office.  However, wait until early next season when they’ll probably have to face the preseason #1 team in Alabama, which should bring out the Helton haters quickly.  Of course there’s never a dull moment in Trojans football, as Steve Sarkisian is now suing the program for wrongful termination.  This was somewhat predictable, but definitely a sign from Sark that he knows he’s never going to get another head coaching job again, so he’s trying to squeeze the University for as much money as possible.

UCLA got exactly what they deserve: A crappy bowl game in a crappy city, against an even crappier team.

The College Football Playoff selection committee had an easy job picking Clemson, Alabama, Oklahoma, and Michigan State.  Of course, if the best SEC team had 1 win, I’m sure the committee would find a way to get them in playoff regardless.  The Ohio State vs Notre Dame Fiesta Bowl is going to be fantastic, and is a great accomplishment for a Notre Dame team that has suffered so many injuries, they’ll probably lose somebody else by the time you’re done reading this.  That’s easily the best matchup outside of the playoff games.  What a dumpy Rose Bowl matchup though: Stanford vs Iowa? That’s like having to eat stale leftovers on Thanksgiving Day.  Meanwhile, this Texas player must have thought his Bae was watching….

I don’t know what got into UCLA basketball the other night.  They actually took down the #1 team in the country in Kentucky, and even more impressive was the fact that the fans acted like they had been there before and didn’t storm the court.  The Bruins actually looked like they were well coached in that one, and they even played defense.  That’s bizarre from a Steve Alford team.  As a reward, maybe Dan Guerrero will let Steve Alford fly first class, since he complains about that.  Then again, you would think he can afford it with his $2.7 million salary.  Meanwhile, John Calipari is sure to punish his players by taking away the cars and cell phones he gave them.

Finally, week 13 of the NFL was another wild one.  Aaron Rodgers will probably never stop laughing after that last second Hail Mary win against the Lions.  That final play was very symbolic of Detroit Lions football.  Tom Brady should have been throwing passes to himself on Sunday.  Suddenly, the Pats are kind of a wreck.  Brock Osweiler is now going to replace Peyton Manning in all his Papa John’s commercials, in addition to being the starting quarterback.  Remember when Jeff Fisher’s football teams used to be good? They haven’t been in a while.  The Rams stink.  The Jets and the Bucs have come out of nowhere to contend for Wild Card spots.  The Seahawks looked elite again and so do the Chiefs, while the Raiders, Chargers, and Browns look like trash.  Funny how all the teams that suck might actually be moving to SoCal next year.  Sounds about right….NFL Football back in SoCal.