Monday Morning Coffee

July 19, 2021

Shohei Ohtani hit his 34th home run of the season in yesterday’s loss to the Mariners. That’s cool but I guess it’s not really that significant because Ohtani just isn’t marketing because he has a translator……well at least according to Stephen A Smith. What a stupid take on a television network that is becoming even more stupid by the day. I want to see greatness. I don’t need to hear it speak. If anything, Ohtani is actually more marketable because he’s a Japanese superstar, meaning he has more potential for global relevancy. I don’t know if there is supporting data to show that a foreign born player is more marketable than one who isn’t, but I do know that there are international superstars like Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo, and Roger Federer, who’s marketability is certainly not damaged because English might not be their first language. Ohtani was also the brightest star of them all during the all-star festivities. He got the win as a starter, had tons of fun, and even gave the fans some thrills before being eliminated in the home run derby. The Angels reminded us over the weekend that they still look as bad as they did before the break, but Ohtani is a star worth the price of admission, and he was the brightest star during the all-star festivities.

As for the Dodgers, they blew a big opportunity yesterday to tie the Giants in the NL West. Kenley Jansen has been great all year, but he gave that game away like he was a charity for kids. They’ll get their crack at the Giants for the next four games beginning tonight, but there is plenty to be worried about. With Tony Gonsolin and Josiah Gray starting the next two nights, the bullpen is going to get more work than a stripper when James Harden shows up at the club. I do like the fact that the Dodgers have basically admitted they are resting Clayton Kershaw to try and preserve him for the fall, but it seems highly likely that Trevor Bauer has played his last game for the team. Stan Kasten appears to be doing whatever he can do to get out of his contract, and you can further read the tea leaves when Andrew Friedman said he was prioritizing starting pitching at the upcoming trade deadline. Since the Dodgers need all the offense they can get given their starting pitching situation, they better hope Corey Seager and Mookie Betts can overcome injuries and get themselves in the lineup.

To the NBA where it feels like every Laker not named Lebron James and Anthony Davis is doing everything they can to get traded. Kyle Kuzma is telling the media he can be an all-star in the right role; Montrezell Harrell is complaining on social media about his playing time; Dennis Schroeder just wants somebody to pay him; and Andre Drummond thinks he’s Shaquille O’Neal. Let’s be honest, as crafty as Rob Pelinka is, he needs to try and retain as many of these people as possible and convince them their roles will be better. That way if necessary, he can later trade some of these guys when their value goes up. For those of you expecting a Damian Lillard trade to the Lakers, your chances of winning the Powerball are better. If you’re hoping for this, the best thing for the Lakers would be for Lillard to hold out for another year, or at least until the deadline. That way the Lakers can gather more assets, and have some players with more value than they have now. Still, the Powerball will have better odds.

Meanwhile, the Clippers should be getting at least a little bit nervous about Kawhi. This is a weird dude. He was weird enough to choose the Clippers over the Lakers, and might even be weird enough to leave them. There’s unconfirmed reports out there that Kawhi might take meetings with other free agent teams, and that he is unhappy with the Clippers medical staff. His injury certainly complicates things quite a bit and if he might re-evaluate his future. However, more than anything, Kawhi is just too unpredictable and nobody really know what’s going on with him. That’s the scariest thing for the Clippers come August 2nd.

To the NBA Finals where I haven’t seen Suns fans this shaken since they played a healthy Laker team in early round 1. The Suns are on the brink of elimination after dropping a close game 5 at home to the Bucks. The Suns played well enough to win the last couple of games, but the Bucks trio of Giannis, Jrue Holiday, and Khris Middleton have been ballin. As lame as this series felt going in, it’s turned out to be a phenomenal. It feels like we deserve 7 games. As for that Giannis block in game 4, it was great, but as usual everyone is prisoner of the moment and thinks it’s suddenly better than the Lebron block in 2016 in game 7. The NBA needs to change their slogan to “Where You Become Prisoner Of The Moment”. This photo though is pretty iconic.

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Team USA Basketball has had a wobbly warm up to Olympic Play. They managed to defeat Spain yesterday to improve to 2-2 but they should be worried. They don’t have a lot of size, and they don’t have a play making point guard. They also lost Bradley Beal to COVID, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they have to call on more Uber drives to replace him. There is also one major problem: there are more Celtics on the team than Lakers. Seems like a pretty simple problem to me. It’s also a little bit of a struggle for these NBA players who are used to getting phantom calls from referees. These international referees don’t fall for that flopping garbage, and pretending like you got fouled while shoot a 3. The meaningful games start on Saturday, but can’t say I’m terribly optimistic about their chances of winning the gold.

I’m super excited about the Olympics but also very nervous about COVID-19 impacting it. At this point if you test positive for COVID-19, for all intents and purposes your Olympic experience is over. Just ask Bradley Beal, who as I mentioned tested positive, and will no longer be going to Tokyo. The Olympics are always a treat, but this year, it’s truly going to feel a lot more like a battle of attrition.

The UCLA Bruin basketball team is looking really good for next season. Johnny Juzang and Cody Riley made wise decisions to return to school after putting their name in the NBA draft. That means the Bruins will return every single player that helped them get to the Final Four last season, along with a couple of elite recruits that should put the Bruins no worse than in the preseason Top 5. If that doesn’t get people excited and get them to fill up Pauley Pavilion, I don’t know what will! Now if only UCLA could do something about Chip Kelly!

Finally, The Bachelorette is back on ABC tonight, and it was an eventful episode last Monday. It sure feels like all the dudes on the show were far more in love with Connor than Katie based on their reaction to him getting the boot. Heck Michael A kissed him on the cheek goodbye! I was starting to think Connor was going to see more action with Michael than Katie before his time was over. If someone ever played country music outside my window, I would call the police. For reals though guys: who the hell is Brendan and why is he getting a rose at this point? I always thought a roast was filled with jokes, but too bad I didn’t hear any. Katie on a date in a wedding dress is the most ridiculous date this show has ever done. If I ever saw a girl in a wedding dress on a date, I would run for the hills. Perhaps the most cringe-worthy date in the history of the franchise. I’m ready to see where this disaster goes next!

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Monday Morning Coffee

July 12, 2021

The Dodgers got a dramatic win yesterday against the D’Backs to finish off the 1st half of the season strong. However, there is much to be concerned about. The Boys in Blue still can’t seem to overcome the Giants, who still have 2 game lead on them, and the best record in baseball. There is also concern about their pitching staff suddenly getting decimated with injuries to Clayton Kershaw and Dustin May, while Trevor Bauer’s future with the team is in serious doubt . I don’t know about you guys but a one-game playoff against the Padres in October sounds even less appealing than the new Dodger Dogs. The Dodgers might be one of the best teams in the league, but they are vulnerable. The 2nd half of the season is sure to be a stress test for the team, and their fans.

As for the Angels, they hit the All-Star break winners of 7 of their last 10 games, and one game over .500. That at least spares them from complete ridicule here on Monday Morning Coffee. In fact, I’m not going to sit here and complain about the pitching, or criticize selecting a reliever with their 1st round pick yesterday. Instead, I’m going to remind you that Shohei Ohtani might be having the greatest individual season of all-time. Ohtani has become “must-see TV” to the point where in the last week I’ve ran into several people desperately trying to get back to their TV sets to see Ohtani pitch. That’s amazing to think that a talent like that, along with Mike Trout play right here in Anaheim. Now the entire country will get to see Ohtani’s talents on display tonight in the Home Run Derby, and tomorrow in the All-Star Game. The man is clearly on the way to being a much slimmer, Japanese Babe Ruth. Let’s just hope the derby doesn’t screw up his spring like Arte Moreno is capable of screwing up the Halos.

To the NBA Finals where the Bucks got back in the series yesterday by winning game 3 against the Suns. For all the talk that Giannis can’t shoot threes and can’t make free throws, he’s been balling. He’s put up over 40 points in each of his last two games, and his teammates finally showed up. However, I still like the Suns to win this in six games. Chris Paul is on a mission. It wasn’t that long ago we were making fun of CP3’s contract as the worst in the league. Don’t worry though, we’ll soon be making fun of him again when the Suns give him a 3-year $100 million contract as a retirement gift.

Speaking of NBA players, we’re planning on deporting Kevin Durant and the rest of the Team USA squad that lost to Nigeria right? I realize it was only the first exhibition game, but they also lost to a team coached by Mike Brown, who was probably drawing clown faces on the clip board during timeouts. This is a good reminder that the rest of the world has gotten a lot better at basketball, and they have NBA players too. Their NBA players also seem to have more experience playing with each other and better chemistry. For that reason, we can no longer win the Olympic Gold Medal unless we send our very best NBA players. That means the likes of Lebron James, Anthony Davis, Steph Curry, Kawhi Leonard, and James Harden needed to be on the team.

As for the Lakers, I’m getting really tired of hearing Andre Drummond pretend like he’s Wilt Chamberlain. Drummond sucked up so many minutes, and I have no idea why. He’s a nice center, but his offensive game was extremely limited, and frankly, he’s no worth any more than a minimum contract for the Lakers. Sure Gasol and ‘Trezz complained about their roles too, but the Lakers were just fine before Drummond got there. I hope the Lakers just decide to roll out Marc Gasol again, and assure ‘Trezz that he’ll have a bigger role with the team next year. That would be smart from both a basketball perspective, and a salary cap perspective.

How ironic: Connor McGregor said that Dustin Poirier would be leaving the octagon in a stretcher after he faced him. Instead, it was McGregor that left the octagon in a stretcher, and the rest of his career is in serious jeopardy. How can you possibly go on knowing that you’re not going to burn another $100 on a McGregor fight that’s going to last a few seconds? In all seriousness though, here’s to speedy recovery for McGregor regardless of whether or not we see him fight again.

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In general, I’ve been a big fan of Shark Week of Discovery for decades. I find sharks the most fascinating, yet also the most terrifying of animals. However, seeing Jackass as part of tradition, let alone having them eat chum and throw up on camera, was awful. The premier started off nicely with Steve Irwin’s kid diving with sharks, and comparing them to crocodiles. I also was really looking forward to seeing Great Whites on Shark Week since I didn’t get to see any sharks when I went cage diving two weeks ago in Cape Town, South Africa. Anyway, let’s hope the rest of the week is some real educational content, and not some celebrity cameo gimmicks, or fake stories that try to convince us that Megalodon still exists.

Finally, the Bachelorette went down last week and it’s back tonight on ABC.
My favorite part of the Bachelorette every week is when Union leader Aaron tells me who I’m supposed to hate next. Nice to see that Katie thought this week was fun and easy, meanwhile, Michael almost died playing some sport she just invented. I can’t believe after all Michael went through, Hunter got a rose instead. I think Hunter actually interrupted a toast too, which makes him an extra slime bag. Thanks to ABC for spoiling that Blake gets a hometown date. Leave that to the internet guys. Greg Grippo is definitely the kind of dude that loves shopping at Target. Greg crying during Michael’s story is something everybody is talking about but come on people…..he’s an actor! I don’t buy it! It’s about to get really interesting tonight with 5 dudes getting sent packing. Looking forward to it!

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Monday Morning Coffee

July 5, 2021

There is much to get to in the 4th of July weekend edition of MMC starting with the Clippers. The Clips made it further than they have in the history of their franchise before getting eliminated by the Suns. They did so without their best player, so it has to be considered a successful season. They also gained a lost of respect with their resiliency compared to last season’s debacle. However, the sustainability of their success is solely dependent on Kawhi Leonard’s health, and if he re-signs with the team. This dude was actually weird enough to choose the Clippers instead of playing with Lebron and AD two years ago. You have to ask yourself the question if he’s weird enough to leave the Clippers when they are definitively championship contenders with him. Probably not, but nobody really knows this dude. If he starts taking meetings with Miami, New York, or Dallas, you should be worried. We’ll find out in a month from now. Pat Beverley is a punk for that shove he made on CP3, and then his weak apology when it was over. Beverley is clearly is a dude who washes his clothes in the sink. We did also find out how weird Steve Ballmer is. Imagine how crazy this guy would get if the Clippers ever won an NBA Championship.

Meanwhile, the Lakers and their fans will not let this idea of a Damian Lillard trade go. It only got worse when Dame showed up to a Sparks game and greeted Lebron warmly. Lillard is a superstar under contract for the next four seasons, and he hasn’t asked for a trade. Even if he did , the Lakers have a couple of dirty socks, Kyle Kuzma’s hair gel, and an empty can of Coke to offer. That won’t get a trade done when the Celtics, Warriors, and 76ers have much more to offer. Even the idea of trading for a player like Ben Simmons is preposterous for the Lake Show. The most important move the Lakers can make this summer is re-signing Dennis Schroeder. He’s currently their third best player and if nothing else, can be an asset used in a trade later if he doesn’t work out. Ultimately, if Lebron and AD are healthy though, everyone else is replaceable.

Well here we are at the NBA Finals I’m sure we all predicted: The Milwaukee Bucks vs the Phoenix Suns. I’m sure all the executives at ESPN and ABC are about to jump out of their windows knowing that this isn’t going to do much for the ratings. As for the matchup, I realize that every NBA champion is influenced by injuries that occur in a season. However, I have never seen a team like the Phoenix Suns get the kind of breaks they are getting. The Lakers, Nuggets, and Clippers have all had their best or 2nd best players hobbled by injuries during their series with the Suns, and Phoenix has taken full advantage. I can’t criticize them because the Jazz did not do so. Now they get a Bucks team that is going to have a hobbled Giannis. That’s another perfect opportunity for them to steal one more series, and an NBA title. I’ve got the Suns in 7.

Scottie Pippen is unbelievable. This feels like a preview of what Kevin Durant is going to be like in twenty years from now. In case you missed it, Pippen went on the Dan Patrick show and claimed that Phil Jackson is a racist for drawing up a game-winning play for Tony Kukoc at the end of a playoff game in 1994. Phil Jackson might have some racially insensitive tendencies, but it’s hard for me to imagine that this man, who was a head coach for over 20 years in the NBA, is a racist. Especially since I haven’t heard one other single player who has played for him say this about him. Scottie sounds angry and upset about the way he’s been portrayed since “The Last Dance” aired last year.

In baseball, the Dodgers are winning games but they have a mess on their hands with the Trevor Bauer situation. In case you’ve been living under a rock the past week, Bauer is being accused of sexual assault by a San Diego woman, and is now on administrative leave for the next week while the investigation takes place. I can’t sugar coat this: the allegations are bad if they are true. The media is also giving it to Stan Kasten and the entire Dodger organization right now in a “I told you so” moment, questioning if Bauer should have ever been signed. Kasten must think he works at USC, where this kind of stuff is swept under the rug all the time. That’s not the case here, as the media hammered him about it all weekend, and was not in the mood for his jokes. It is entirely possible that Bauer has pitched his last game as a Dodger if the findings of this investigation go badly. Even if they don’t and Bauer gets by on this one, doing damage control will be tough, and will continue to be tough for the entire organization. It’s going to get especially awkward a week from now when Bauer’s administrative leave is up and there is no conclusion to the investigation yet. Stay tuned for more drama on this one.

Speaking of the Dodgers, Mark Walter and Todd Boehly purchased a minority share of the Lakers – 27% – from Philip Anschutz. There is some real significance to this from a media perspective. Just when you think the cable model is about to crumble, the Dodgers and Lakers might join forces to form some media bundle for you to watch them both. Both of them currently have their own channel’s that are difficult to find outside of a cable subscription. The Dodger channel, Spectrum Sportsnet LA is still difficult to attain, even after it was picked up by DirecTV. At the same time, you may have noticed that the cost of streaming services is rising about as fast as your federal tax bill. You can expect the cost of either to go up in the near future with this move, because there will surely be an offering on both. What will you do now millennials? Double down on those illegal streams? Your move.

The Angels had a nice weekend of baseball against the Orioles, but they are still miles out of playoff contention. It’s actually quite frustrating. Joe Maddon says “We’re really close to being really good.” I’m assuming what he means by this is that they just need Mike Trout to return, then acquire three really good starting pitchers and three really good relievers. What’s especially frustrating is that Shohei Ohtani has emerged as a spectacular talent, and Jared Walsh is turning into a stud as well. So much talent, yet so little pitching. It’s remarkable really. It’s gotten so bad that the presumed “ace” at the beginning of the year, Dylan Bundy, is being demoted to the bullpen. They should have sold high on Bundy last year when he was pitching like a true number 1 starter. I’d say the Halos can be sellers at the deadline, but they really don’t have much to sell that’ going to be appealing to other teams. At best, right now this is a team that might be able to sell a few tickets with Trout and Ohtani, but no chance of winning anything at any point in the near future.

Now that the NCAA has been forced to allow their athletes to make money off their name, image, and likeness, Reggie Bush is speaking out. Bush said this week that he wants his Heisman Trophy back, and that he rightfully earned it. The bottom line is that nobody in their right mind, not even a UCLA homer, would tell you that Bush didn’t earn that Heisman Trophy. Simply because he accepted some cash or a car doesn’t change what he did on the field. He was special, and so was that entire USC team, which will always be remembered as one of the great teams in College Football History. No NCAA archaic rules will ever change that in the court of public opinion. With that being said, he absolutely deserves his trophy back, to have his jersey retired, and to be honored for what he accomplished. Still, it’s hard for me to imagine the NCAA re-instating him. The NCAA is trying to hold on to what little legitimacy and power they have left as an organization, and re-instating all the athletes like Bush who are in a similar situation, undermines that effort.

I’m ecstatic about the Summer Olympics that are coming up in 17 days, but was super disappointed that Sha’Carri Richardson is getting suspended for using pot. Richardson was the favorite to win the women’s 100 meter dash. We can sit here and tell you how archaic the World Anti-Doping Agency rules are, and how pot is not even a performance enhancing drug. We should also all feel terrible for Richardson that she lost her mom recently, causing her to resort to pot. With all that being said though, she’s been working for 4 years for this. She knows what she can and cannot put in her body. She knows she is going to be tested regularly. This is completely on her. At least we will be fortunate enough to see her run the 4 x 100 meter relay.

Finally, the Bachelorette went down last week on ABC and it’s back again tonight. The most obnoxious part of last week’s episode is that even though Thomas got the guillotine from Katie, what guy on the show hasn’t thought about being “The Bachelor”? Then again, what guy who hasn’t been on the show hasn’t thought about being “The Bachelor”? Justin really can’t ever be sent home because his facial expressions are just too good. I’m still trying to figure out how Katie’s skin tone on her hands and face are a completely different color. Perhaps an issue at the tanning bed. Bachelor Nation is completely up in arms over Blake’s arrival after all that quality time they put in with Greg the last couple of weeks. This is Blake’s third bachelorette he’s pursuing. This is a Kardashian level type of achievement. If he gets rejected again on National TV again, hopefully that PPP loan everyone is getting from The Bachelor will be used to pay for his therapy. Looking forward to seeing what goes down next.

Monday Morning Coffee

June 28, 2021

This time the Clippers look like they are in trouble.  After an ugly game 4, the Clippers are down 3-1 in their best-of-seven series against the Suns.  That game was so ugly, if we were going by Lawler’s Law, the game might still be going on.  It’s also apparent that the crime rate in LA goes way up during Clipper playoff games because PG-13 is stealing Steve Ballmer’s money.  Ok fine….PG has had some good playoff games this season, but he’s also had numerous chances to help the Clippers take hold of this series.  Saturday night was also the 11th playoff game of his career where he shot 25% or worse.  Only Bob Cousy and Tommy Heinson have more.  I also can’t understand why Patrick Beverly and Luke Kennard can’t combine for more than a couple of baskets when making almost $30 mill combined this year.  With all that being said though, it’s still an admirable run for the Clippers, who have had their share of injuries to deal with. Steve Ballmer isn’t exactly thrilled with Playoff P though.

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Meanwhile the off-season is starting off rough for the Lakers.  Alex Caruso got caught with some pot at an airport, and KCP got robbed at gun point.  Hopefully this isn’t a sign of things to come for the remainder of the summer.  You also shouldn’t be surprised if the Lakers make a call to the 76ers about Ben Simmons.  It makes too much sense since he’s a Klutch Client.  I doubt the Lakers have the pieces to make it happen, but I think the Sixers are going to be very disappointed when they learn that Simmons trade value is about the same as a Happy Meal from McDonald’s at this point.

This Dodgers took 3 of 4 from the Cubs over the weekend, but the season is becoming frustrating to watch.  The Giants and even the Padres don’t seem to be letting up.  However, here’s some perspective: the Dodgers are 47-31.  That still gives them the 2nd best record in the NL, and 3rd best record in baseball with 84 games left.  They’ve also done that with only 7 home runs combined from Cody Bellinger and Corey Seager.  The last week has been especially annoying after getting swept by the Padres, with the Giants continuing to pile up wins.  Still, there’s time, and lots of head-to-head games against both the Giants and Padres. They are only 3.5 games back of the Giants, and their hated rivals are coming to town next.  There’s also no glaring trade deadline need.  They just need to play better and they have the pieces to do that.   I’m usually the one bitching about the Dodgers, but I’m in rare form being positive.  I’m even optimistic that Andrew Friedman’s computer will get a nice software refresh for the 2nd half of the season, so you won’t have to keep bitching about Dave Robert’s decision making.

As for the Angels, so much for thinking they were turning things around. Despite salvaging a win yesterday,  they got thrashed by the Giants and Rays last week, reminding us that they just can’t hang with good teams with or without Mike Trout.  Speaking of those Giants, It’s pretty incredible that a team like that and the Red Sox can go from trash to elite in 1 year, yet the Angels stay consistently trash every single season.  It would be also be nice if Angels media actually asked questions and tried to get answers on questionable moves by the team. I’d like to learn actual insight about some decision making in the organization, not what song Joe Maddon listened to on the ride to the stadium.  This type of media coddling would never happen in the Laker or Dodger locker rooms.

Finally, The Bachelorette is back on ABC tonight. Last week’s episode had it all: gossip, drama, betrayal, unionization, group therapy, and discussions about consent. The faces that Justin makes are priceless. It’s like he’s experiencing his own personal episode of “The Office”. This episode was also a reminder that Pluto isn’t considered a planet anymore, which is upsetting considering most of us were told it was in school. I could tell Karl was going to be annoying just by his face and the fact his name is Karl. I think Thomas is a good guy, but dudes in the house are just salty. At this point I think Greg is either going to win, or be the next Bachelor. Nick Viall showing up was actually pretty funny. If I were the bachelor or the bachelorette, the first people I would eliminate are anybody with duplicate names. I’m not going to sit there for 13 episodes calling somebody “Mark C”. I never really thought Nick Viall’s run on the The Bachelor franchise would would outlast Chris Harrison’s. Also, since when is Nick a licensed therapist? Also, Katie what’s with the suit jacket you showed up with at dinner? Looking forward to next week’s episode.

Monday Morning Coffee

June 21, 2021

It took 43 years, but the Clippers are finally here: The Western Conference Finals. It doesn’t matter that they lost game 1 to the Suns. Let’s be honest, the Clips have been the punching bag of Jock Talk LA for almost a decade, and the red-headed step child of LA Sports Franchises for four decades. However, no matter what happens against the Suns, they deserve every bit of credit for what they’ve accomplished. It’s safe to say they “Mann-ed” up! Sorry that was too easy. However, the team could have packed it in and booked their flights to Cancun after Kawhi got hurt. Instead, Paul George actually played like the elite player he’s capable of being, while Terance Mann and Reggie Jackson turned into Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen. Also, for those of you that think Ty Lue is just some ex-player that ran to Dick’s Sporting Goods to buy a clipboard and a whistle when Lebron and Kawhi picked him to be their coach, think again. Lue has out-coached both Rick Carlisle and Quin Snyder with his small ball lineups, and made brilliant adjustments after trailing 0-2 in both series. Without Kawhi, they are playing with house money against the Suns. Nobody expects them to win, but don’t be surprised if they do. They hung in yesterday, but Devin Booker was just too much. Still, they are starting to believe in themselves, and frankly, it would almost be weird if they didn’t start this series down 0-2!

Ty Lue made a very “matter of fact” comment regarding the Lakers after the Clippers advanced to the Conference Finals. Lue said “I always look at it differently. I know the Lakers are out and there’s a lot of Laker fans here. But once the Lakers are gone, if we’re not playing the Lakers, you should be cheering for the Clippers because it’s all in one city.” This is not an unreasonable take at all. The problem is, the most die hard NBA fans, including Laker, fans aren’t always reasonable people. NBA fans often cheer for outcomes dictated by their experience with opposing fans they know. So there’s plenty of Laker fans out there that get peeved when their Clipper fan neighbor says “I think this is the Clippers year”. They take it personally, and just want the Clippers to lose. Not because they hate the Clippers, but because they just want to stick it to their neighbor. The is a very common and bizarre NBA fan occurrence. In reality though, it’s inspirational stories like the Clippers overcoming adversity that actually make people want to watch sports.

Elsewhere around the NBA Playoffs, Lebron is going to have a lot of fun with KD, Kyrie, and Harden when he sees them this week in Cancun. The Nets super team was super injured, but props to the Bucks for taking advantage of it and coming up big on the road in game 7. Giannis approaches every free throw stressing like his life is on the line, but nevertheless, he still made some big plays to get the Bucks to the Conference Finals. Ben Simmons disappeared like Emilia Earhar, and Joel Embiid had more turnovers than Betty Crocker, and the Sixers were sent packing, while the Hawks are headed to the East Finals. Also, Dick Vitale needs one of his grand kids to teach him how to use acronyms on Social Media. Either that or he’s been spending too much time on Porn Hub.

To baseball, where we are just a few weeks away from the All-Star break and the Dodgers are playing well. The problem is they are still chasing the Giants for 1st place in the NL West. Other than the “new Dodger Dogs”, this team has no glaring weakness that needs to be addressed at the trade deadline. Sure they could use a bullpen arm here or there, but who couldn’t? They just need to get healthy, and need the Giants to come back to earth, and something tells me they are playing way over their heads and overachieving. All of the solutions to the Dodgers problem are internal. Better approaches at the plate, better situational hitting, and a clean bill of health are what this team needs to repeat. Remember when we thought Kenley Jansen was done? Funny, I don’t hear anybody screaming from the mountain top anymore that he needs to be sent packing. He’s looked like the Kenley of old. They’ve got some big games coming up against the Padres, Cubs, and Giants, so hopefully they take these games just as serious as if it were a pivotal game in September. They count just as much in the standings.

As for the Angels, just when you think they are playing a little bit better and might do something, reality hits that they aren’t going anywhere in the standings. Heading into Sunday, the Halos had won 7 of their last 10, but were still 7.5 games back of 1st place Oakland in the AL West. They are also 6 games back of the Wild Card, and they’d need to climb over 4 teams to get there. I get it’s only June, but this is one of the softest parts of the schedule, the Halos are now .500, but can’t even make up any ground in the standings. The most exciting thing this team has to celebrate is Shohei Ohtani participating in the Home Run Derby. Then again they might not be celebrating come September when he goes in a massive slump like many Derby participants usually do. I also love how Taylor Ward has become a useful player, and suddenly people think the Angels know how to scout. You can’t scout if you don’t have scouts. They would uncover a lot more useful players if Arte Moreno spent some money on player development.

So let me get this straight……Sofi Stadium is now the host of another College Football Glorified consolation game, as I like to call them? It will feature the fifth place finisher in the Pac-12, against the first place finisher in the Mountain West. In this instance, Jimmy Kimmel is putting his name on the game, in what will be a called “The Jimmy Kimmel Bowl”. Well as long as UCLA keeps Chip Kelly as their head coach, they might as well call it “The Jimmy Kimmel UCLA Bowl”.

Finally, the Bachelorette is back on ABC tonight for episode 3 of this season, and last week was filled with drama. On one hand, it was probably very premature to send Cody packing, but on the other hand, Katie saved us from having to deal with two weeks of nonsense drama. Plus, now Cody can go focus on being famous in the zipper sales industry. Katie is really going to miss out on free zippers for life though. I admire Karl and his resilient approach to creating drama, and even giving Katie a tutorial on how to be The Bachelorette. That guy actually gets paid to speak for a living? I would pay just to have him not speak. I love how John was just grinning while getting absolutely demolished in the mud pit. Katie feels like she might pull a Clare and just go home with Greg right now. What exactly are “the right reasons” to be a contestant on The Bachelorette? I wonder if Chris Harrison is actually watching this season. The man is still missed by everyone on every episode. Katie hasn’t done anything wildly unpopular yet, so looking forward to seeing what’s in store next.

Monday Morning Coffee

June 14, 2021

I’d like to welcome Paul George to the 2021 NBA Playoffs. Nice of him to grace his team with a decent performance before they got sent packing to Cancun. George showed up in a big way on Saturday night Staples Center, helping the Clippers get back into their 2nd round series against the Jazz. To be fair though, the “Pandemic P” label has been warranted. Prior to game 4, George shot 35% in his previous 4 playoff games, and just 31% from 3. He’s also had 10 career playoff games in which he’s shot 25% or worse on 15 or more attempts. Over the last 60 postseasons, no other player has recorded more than 7 such games. That makes Pandemic P more dangerous than COVID-19. If the Clippers can get the PG they got on Saturday night, they are a legitimate threat to make it to the NBA Finals, not just get out of this round. The Clippers know what they are getting from Kawhi, but other than that, it’s a crap shoot from night-to-night. They don’t have much margin for error left though, against the best team in the regular season, so they better hope PG shows up again tonight.

As for the Lakers, they are still making headlines after getting eliminated in the 1st round by the Suns. I will never understand the obsession with Jason Kidd as a head coach. Kidd is still on the Lakers staff as a top assistant, and mostly because Lebron wants him there. He is also wanted in Portland by Damian Lillard. They Blazers don’t want him though, and prefer Chauncey Billups, which is why Kidd withdrew his name from the process. He’s probably going to withdraw his name from the Nuggets job too after watching them play this weekend. In all seriousness though, there is no other team in the league that will hire him as a head coach, yet somehow his name stays out there because a few players like him. He didn’t have much success as a head coach in either of the two stints he had with the Nets and Bucks. It’s a phenomenon I will never understand. I will also never understand Montrezl Harrell’s instagram. He wrote a classy and lengthy post that thanked the Lakers and their fans, but it’s hard to know if this is goodbye or not.


It was a rough weekend for the Dodgers. Despite taking 2 of 3 from the Rangers and inching closer to 1st place, the injuries are piling up again. Max Muncy has been an MVP candidate, but he is now on the injured list with an oblique strain. Cody Bellinger missed the last two games with an injured hamstring as well. Thank god for the garbage time home runs though from Albert Pujols. There’s nobody I’d rather have at the plate in the 7th inning and beyond with the game completely decided, and nobody on base. The guy turns into Babe Ruth at that point, and seems like all his Dodger home runs have come then. The Giants aren’t going away though and neither are the Padres. On a different note however, Clayton Kershaw was brilliant on Friday. He really doesn’t get enough credit for still being great, because he was so brilliant at his peak. That’s how good he is.

Meanwhile, the Angels are suddenly 19-14 since releasing Albert Pujols, and over .500 for the season. As I said last week, this is the time for them to bank wins because their schedule is softer than tissue paper. This past week has also seen the lowest spin rates of any week this season in the MLB, resulting in strikeouts being down, and batting averages being up. It’s been so wild, even the Angels are hitting with Mike Trout out of the lineup! I don’t know if the Angels can keep this up with Oakland, San Francisco, the Rays, and Yankees coming up next. However, with Mike Trout coming back and the pitching looking a little better for now, there’s always some hope.

Finally, the season Premiere of The Bachelorette went down last night on ABC. I like how all 28 guys thought there was no way a dude in a cat costume, Conner, and a dude hiding in a box, James, were going to impress Katie. By the end of the night, they were ready to go buy their own costumes, and wish they could put James back in the box. Then there was the necklace that was made of pasta. “It’s not real gold, it’s just pasta” has to be the line of the season that can’t be topped. Greg seems to be the fan favorite early on though, at least in the court of public opinion. Of the seven dudes that got eliminated, I’m thankful we don’t get to learn about Jeff’s background as a “Skin Salesman.” Bad move with the RV. You’ve gotta love that moment when Tayshia said she “loves a guy in a truck”. Imagine what Zach was thinking, watching the premiere at home. It was a great first episode, but I’m not going to lie, it’s just not the same without Chris Harrison. The girls did a great job as co-hosts, but Harrison was symbolic of the entire franchise. Looking forward to seeing what this drama beings next week.

Monday Morning Coffee

June 7th, 2021

Don’t over think it people. The Lakers best players weren’t healthy enough for them to defend their title. It’s as simple as that. Anthony Davis had been falling apart all season long, and Lebron James couldn’t dominate like he usually does because of his ankle. It’s not about father time catching up with Lebron. It’s also not even about Anthony Davis being too injury prone. It’s about having the shortest off-season in NBA history, and not enough time to recover. Sure the Lakers could use more shooting. Sure they could use another shot creator. Sure Anthony Davis could work on his body. However, don’t lose sight of what this was about: lack of health and lack of time to recover. In the meantime, between now and the start of the season, Laker fans can fantasize about trading a couple of bags of chips, some expired cans of soda, and hand sanitizer for Damian Lillard or Bradley Beal. I’m sure there will be changes, but don’t expect anything of that magnitude this off-season. That’s perfectly fine because this team should still contend.

The Clippers were not going to let it happen. No way were the Clippers going to let themselves lose game 7, and then be subjected to all-time levels of slander on Monday Morning Coffee. The Mavericks gave the Clippers a hell of a series. However at some point the home team was due to win, and it makes perfect sense that it was going to happen in game 7, when 80% of home teams win. Props to Kawhi and even Paul George for stepping up when they needed to. Also props to Tim Hardaway Jr, who’s beard and jump shot were both immaculate in this series. If Luka Doncic just gets a little bit more help, the Mavs can win an NBA Championship. It would help if Kristaps Porzingas weren’t a more expensive 7’3 Kyle Kuzma. As for the Clippers though, they survived, but they are going to have to come up even bigger against a tough Utah Jazz team if they plan on making it to their first conference final in franchise history.

The Dodgers had a tough time with the Atlanta Braves over the weekend. The Boys in Blue might be one of the better teams in the NL right now, but they have two big problems that won’t go away: the Giants and the Padres. I realize there is still a lot of baseball left to be played, but given the Dodger injuries and their inconsistencies at the plate, there is a very realistic scenario where the Dodgers are in a one-game playoff on the road against the Giants or Padres. If I earned a dollar for every time Albert Pujols hit a meaningless home run after the 7th inning, I feel like I would be as rich as Pujols right now. This is exactly why the Dodgers offense is so deceiving. They lead the league in runs per game, but their situation hitting is keeping them out of 1st place in the NL. Up next is a 3-game set at the Pirates, where they’ll try to get back in the win column.

The Angels had a so-so series against the Mariners over the weekend, splitting a four-game set. It’s now or never for this team. They began last week with a stretch of 17 games against teams that are a combined 17 games under .500. The Angels began yesterday 7 games back of 1st place in the AL West. There’s some signs of life with their pitching and bullpen. However, now Anthony Rendon looks like the new Albert Pujols. He’s got as bad of a contract as Albert did, and now he’s hitting exactly like Albert. With Rendon slumping and Mike Trout out of the lineup, even against in a stretch of weaker opponents there is no margin for error. If the Angels don’t make up ground before the end of the month, they might as well start booking their ski trips for the winter.

Who really paid $50 for that Floyd Mayweather v Logan Paul fight last night? I streamed it illegally and I still want my money back. Who knew that there was a difference between Logan Paul and Jake Paul? We saw what happened the last time Floyd fought a non-boxer in Conor McGregor, yet many of you took the bait anyway. Paul was ready to go back to making YouTube videos after the 1st round. Of course that fight ended in “a draw”. Floyd could have ended it anytime. I’ve seen him exert more effort walking around his club on a Sunday night. Somebody please bring heavyweight boxing back to life because we desperately need it instead of these gimmicks!

Finally, are you ready to watch a live train wreck on TV? That’s right folks. A new season of The Bachelorette premieres tonight on ABC. The Bachelorette will be Katie Thurston, who was a big fan favorite that got eliminated early in the last season of The Bachelor. That season ended up being a lost cause for The Bachelor himself. I’m sure like every season, we’ll go into it with high hopes, end up criticizing The Bachelorette once we find out she’s far more flawed than we anticipated. Then we’ll be completely unsatisfied with the ending. We’ll then vow that we’ll never watch it again. Of course we’ll be back to watch the next season after that. Rinse and repeat right? Not sure how we just keep getting sucked in.

Monday Morning Coffee

May 31st, 2021

Here we are one week later, and it feels like the Lakers health and their season is going down the drain. For a moment it felt like the Lakers were going to take a commanding lead against the Suns, and finish them off. Then Anthony Davis got hurt again, in typical Anthony Davis fashion. Now the Lakers are now tied with the Suns 2-2, headed back to Phoenix for game 5. The Lakers can’t make a 3-point shot if you locked them in the gym all day. That means their whole offense has been dependent on AD and Lebron getting in the paint and dominating. When that doesn’t happen the Lakers chances of winning are about as good as Donald Trump reversing the results of the Presidential Election. If AD is out for any one of the next three games, the Lakers can start booking their vacations to Cancun, because there will be no repeat and they will not get out of this series. That looks like a very realistic possibility. On a different note, given how annoying Jae Crowder has been in this series, they might need to re-shoot Space Jam 2 making Lebron fight against Crowder.

As for the Clippers, despite all the jokes and slander they’ve been receiving the last few days, they managed to tie their series with the Mavs at 2-2. Tip your cap to Kawhi and PG. They stepped up and made sure I couldn’t say anything bad about them in this edition of Monday Morning Coffee. However, I love the fact that last year everyone said the Clippers would have lost if Kristaps Porzingas had played. Now everyone is saying the Clippers would have lost if Kristaps Porzingas has not played! Porzingas has suddenly looked like Kwame Brown in this series, while Luka Doncic feels like he’s going 1-on-5, and actually doing a decent job of it. Nevertheless, the Clips have some issue here and there, but I like their chances to finish off this series in 6 games now that they have a bit of confidence back.

Elsewhere around the postseason in the Association, the Hawks have way too much fire power and are up 3-1 against the Knicks. Tom Thibodeau was coaching a lot better when he had his mask on. Lou Williams for sure celebrated at the strip club with some Lemon Pepper Wings last night. The Celtic fans packed the building yesterday, just in time to see their team get eliminated from the postseason by the Nets. The Heat won as many playoff games this season as you and I did. The Jazz fans are about to celebrate with some ginger ale after shoving the Grizzlies to the brink of elimination. Joel Embiid looks like he stopped drinking Shirley Temples since he has the 76ers on the verge of the 2nd round. Joker vs Dame is like watching a heavy weight fight that is too good to take your eyes off of!

Just when it seemed like things were looking up for the Dodgers, the Giants come to town and torpedo them in 3 of the 4 games. Friday’s game really hurt with Albert Pujols getting robbed of the game-winning home run in the 9th inning. Saturday and Sunday, neither the pitching nor the offense showed up. The pitching part is a rarity. However, the offense can’t hit water if it fell out of a boat. The Boys in Blue are terrible with runners in scoring position. There’s so much talk about why David Price isn’t their 5th starter, and whether or not they should trade for Max Scherezer, but the reality of it is they need to change their approach at the plate. Their situational hitting is awful, and that’s not going to change if they just keep sitting back and waiting for 3-run homers. It looked like the Dodgers had a new sense of urgency with Albert Pujols on the team. However, that urgency is just their rush to the post-game spread before fat Albert eats all the food.

The Angels managed to split a four-game set with the A’s over the weekend. Alex Cobb finally put together a couple of really nice starts that made him look like the ace he was last year. Hard to imagine him keeping the momentum going though. Of bigger concern right now is whether Anthony Rendon is going to live up to his $245 million contract. He’s got another 6 years left on it, and thus far, his slash line is only .228/.315/.342. Justin Upton stinks too, hitting just .201 and owed another $20 million next year. Yes we know the Angels are desperate for pitching. However, if their big money players aren’t living up to their contracts, then all hope is definitely lost for this group. Then again, all hope was probably lost when Arte Moreno started making reckless decisions years ago.

UCLA Basketball fans are bracing themselves for the possibility of losing a handful of players. The latest is that Codey Riley is now going to be joining Johnny Juzang, and Chris Smith, who are all putting their name in the NBA draft. I have no problem with any of these guys putting their names in to get feedback, but not a single one of these dudes should go pro. If they do, they have agents who can probably sell them some ocean front property in Kansas. Juzang is the highest rated of any of these three prospects, and at best, he’s projected as a late 2nd round pick. If he comes back to school, he’s going to get a huge role on one of the best teams in the country, and scouts are actually going to know who he is this year, unlike last year. Same goes for Riley and even Smith, who can’t workout until September because of his knee injury. I would argue that even if these guys are in a financially desperate situation, their earning power will be far greater by waiting one more season. Then they would potentially all become 1st round picks and have guaranteed contracts. Not to mention, UCLA will be pretty damn good with all of these guys coming back.

Finally, in the NFL, Julio Jones is on the trade block. Anytime you hear a name like Julio Jones, you can bet the Rams are in involved. Yes I know, I realize that Mike Florio reported yesterday that the Rams are out of the chase for Jones. I’ll believe that the Rams are out the day I hear that Kim Kardashian is no longer interested in dating African American men. However, we know that Jones wants to go to the Rams, and that Les Snead is a pretty good negotiator. Even for a team with no upcoming 1st round picks or salary cap space, the same can be said for many other teams chasing Jones. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if the Falcons came back to the table to negotiate a deal with the Rams. Plus, the Rams might have a talented group of wide receivers, but they don’t have a dynamic deep threat like Jones, who can take the top off of defenses. That’s a much needed weapon in Sean McVay’s system. Florio also qualified his report by saying the Rams are only out “for now”.

Monday Morning Coffee

May 24, 2021

The Lakers limped into the 1st round of the playoffs yesterday, and they looked like hell in game 1 against the Suns. Devin Booker dropped 34 points on them, while Lebron and Anthony Davis looked like they haven’t played basketball in months. If you hold your opponent to 99 points, you should win, but the Lakers 3-point shooting is awful, and the offense is non-existent. If you played a drinking game where every time AD fell on the floor you took a shot, you would likely be in the hospital before the game ended. Everyone obviously wants to focus on Andre Drummond and the fact he probably is playing too many minutes, but even if he is, the reality is that AD needs to play better and dominate DeAndre Ayton inside. He really needed Kwame Brown to give him a pep talk in the huddle. More on that in a few moments. I don’t expect the Lakers to have any answers for Devin Booker, but they don’t need to. If Lebron and AD are healthy and playing like they are capable of, this series should be over in no time. That health part is something I question minute-by-minute at this point though.

Meanwhile, the Clippers also lost game 1 of their 1st round series to the Mavericks on Saturday afternoon. Maybe the Clippers should start printing “We Don’t Believe” T-Shirts for their fans. I don’t think the Clippers played that poorly in game 1. Luka was amazing, but the Mavs just made 3-point shot after 3- point shot. I have my doubts that’s going to happen 3 more times in this series. I can’t even make fun of Paul George because he didn’t play badly in game 1 either. The Clips will probably be ok, but their crowd was pathetic for a playoff game. So pathetic that they needed cardboard cutouts to fill the most premium seats. That’s not much of a homecourt advantage for them to feel good about. Then again by losing this series, the Clippers probably figure that’s another way they can dodge the Lakers.

I have to give credit to Kwame Brown for lighting everyone up the way he is on social media. This guy has been criticized like crazy for over a decade, and now he’s been going after EVERYONE. Everyone from Matt Barnes, Stephen A Smith, to Chris Broussard and Rob Parker. And he’s making it personal! I disagree with Kwame on the idea that he’s not a bust, because he was a bust relative to expectations as a number 1 draft pick. However, the amount of ridicule he has gotten for so long is over the top, and he’s right to finally push back. Here’s some good laughs Kwame will give you from his take on Matt Barnes.

To baseball where the Dodgers swept the Giants over the weekend to inch closer to 1st place in the NL West. If there was a mercy rule in baseball, we would have seen it over the weekend. It’s ok Giants fans. At least Scott Kazmir has great hair. After a stretch of struggles, the Boys in Blue have now won 7 straight and 9 of their past 10. Although the offense is still a little sluggish at times, the pitching has been lights out. Now reinforcements are on the way with Cody Bellinger and Zach McKinstry coming back from injury in the next few days, and Tony Gonsolin not far behind them. Now the Dodgers head to Houston to take on those cheating Houston Astros.

As for the Angels, they salvaged a victory yesterday to snap a 3-game losing streak. However, there’s not much to feel great about with this club. Mike Trout is now out for two months with a calf strain, and we are reminded on a daily basis of what hot garbage their pitching is. Since 2010, the Angels haven’t drafted a pitcher that has given them more than 100 innings in a season. I’m sure it’s no coincidence that they haven’t won a playoff game in that time either. The sad part is that the Oakland A’s just came to town and reminded them how successful they have been both developing and acquiring pitching. It’s not even June yet and the Angels are already 7.5 games out of 1st, in last place in the AL West, and it’s not an unreasonable question to ask if the team should start tanking. On June 17th, the Angels plan on allowing a full capacity of fans into the stadium. However, they really should change their policy to having all those fans wear paper bags over their head so nobody can see the embarrassment they have been on the field.

Speaking of embarrassing, that’s how Kings GM Rob Blake must feel after his veteran players called him out. Drew Doughty just said “there’s no point in waiting for prospects to develop”, and that the Kings have guys still in their prime that can win now. Doughty has a point since the Kings have $20 million in cap space and boat loads of prospects. The Kings could easily sign a couple of reasonably priced free agents, and still keep all their prospects. I’m not sure if Rob Blake understands what $20 million can buy him, but he should be able to put a playoff team on the ice with that. I’m beginning to think Blake is really a millennial, because he is building a team that will win nothing more than participation trophies every year.

Kings general manager Rob Blake attends the NHL draft.

Finally, the Summer Olympics are coming up in a couple of months in Tokyo, but it’s headed toward disaster. 60-70% of Japanese citizens do not want the games to be held, and only 3% of their population is vaccinated. As usual, the IOC is more useless than Clay Helton, and refuses to be flexible. There are other countries in the world, The United States being one, that could be ready to host the Summer Olympics in a matter of days and weeks. Instead, Japan won’t even allow any tourists into the country for the games. It’s not fair to the athletes to cancel the games either, since they’ve all been training their entire lives for this, and many will not get another opportunity. The right thing to do is to move the games to a reasonable place with existing infrastructure, that has a handle on COVID, and world class security. It’s hard to expect a corrupt organization like the IOC to understand this concept though.

Monday Morning Coffee

May 17, 2021

This Laker postseason is going to be a bumpy ride folks. They will host the Warriors on Wednesday night at Staples Center for the right to claim the 7th seed in the Western Conference, and it feels like they are holding their health together with super glue. Lebron’s ankle nearly gave out last night, and feels like it could give out again any moment. Anthony Davis makes you hold your breath every time he hits the floor. On one hand, the Lakers need the game reps to get their act together. On the other hand, Steph Curry could go off for 50 points, Anthony Davis could slip on some nacho cheese and get hurt, and the Lakers would be on the verge of elimination. I’m not so sure this team is ready for playoff caliber basketball, as talented as they are, but we’ll find out in a few days. At least they don’t have to face the Clippers or Jazz until round 3 at best if they take care of business Wednesday, and the Lakers have more favorable matchups on their side of the bracket. Nevertheless, the Lakers are faced with a must-win on Wednesday, which I never thought I would say before the actual post season begins.

Then there was the gamesmanship of the Clippers, who ended up with the 4th seed in the West, and will face the Mavericks in the opening round. The Clippers have owned the Mavs, so they’ve gotta be pleased with that. Considering how they rested everybody in the last two games, the Clippers really managed to perfect this tanking thing, as did Denver. All joking aside, the bottom line is going to be how healthy Kawhi Leonard and Paul George are going to be, and if they are ready to deliver in the postseason. That’s a bigger deal no matter who the Clips run into in the postseason.

On Saturday, Kobe Bryant was inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame, among several other all-time greats: Tim Duncan and Kevin Garnett. I was once again amazed by the poise and grace of Vanessa Bryant to speak about her deceased husband and daughter. It’s been 16 months since Kobe and Gigi tragically passed away, but it’s something that feels like we’ll never get over, and never understand. However, if there’s one thing that has never been more clear, it’s that Kobe’s legacy resonates stronger than ever, and his determination and work ethic inspires people around the world everyday. On a separate note, I uncovered this video of Kobe and Tim Duncan from way back in the day over the weekend, and I never realized that Tim Duncan had this much personality!

https://twitter.com/TheSpursWayy/status/1393651401377583104

To baseball, where Andrew Friedman’s computer must have some kind of a virus. What other explanation could there be for signing Albert Pujols last week? Yes, the Dodgers have injuries, and yes they need some right-handed pop in their lineup. However, for a team that prides itself on analytics, adding one of the worst players in baseball according to analytics blows my mind. Considering that the cost of signing Pujols was roughly the amount of money you could find in your couch, it’s low risk, but I just don’t see the fit. On the field however, the Dodgers are still having problems. Corey Seager is the latest big name to get added to the injured list, and despite taking 2 of 3 from the Marlins, they are still chasing both the Giants and Padres in the NL West. There’s still lots of time, but the Dodgers need to think about how to manufacture runs on a consistent basis, rather than waiting around for home runs.

As for the Angels, they picked up a dramatic win yesterday against the Red Sox, but they are still in bad shape. Remember when we thought the pitching was holding up? Well almost two months into the season the starters have the worst ERA in the big leagues. Their bullpen is equally atrocious, ranked just 27th in the leagues, and blowing half of their save opportunities. Dylan Bundy was supposed to be the ace of the staff, and instead he looks more like a joker, sporting an 0-5 record and an ERA that is inflating faster than an Aerobed. It’s really a shame that Shohei Ohtani can’t start every five days because he’s easily the team’s best pitcher, and they need his arm more than his bat. There’s still plenty of time left in the season, but you would think the Angels are ready to tank with the way things are going. At least you have Shohei to entertain you.

To the NFL, where the Rams schedule was released last week. On paper, this sets up for a nice double digit win season, starting off with a Sunday Night Opener at home against the Bears. I do feel bad for Jared Goff, who is going to have Aaron Donald in his jock strap come Week 7 when the Rams host the Lions. That Green Bay game in October also might not be so intimidating knowing that Aaron Rodgers might be filing for divorce from the Packers before then. The only thing the Rams should be scared off are those terrible looking pajama uniforms they always seem to wear in prime time games.

Meanwhile, the Chargers were gifted a fairly below average schedule by the league. This team need about as much charity they can get because they have worse luck than someone who broke a mirror. The Ravens, Chiefs, and Washington are the only playoff teams from last year the Bolts play on the road. If they win the games they are favored in, they should be a wild card team. That statement feels almost laughable though, considering how many winnable games the Chargers have blown the last few years. It’s become so comical though, you’ve gotta think their due to win some of these close games right? Right? I know you’re still laughing.