Monday Morning Coffee

March 30, 2020

I don’t know if we’re going to get any sports back this year with the global pandemic we are facing. However, if there is one sport we’re going to get back in some capacity, it’s the NBA. I have more confidence in Adam Silver, as a leader of that league, than any other commissioner of the four major sports. Silver is smart, creative, and determined to find a way to build a bubble around the 450 NBA players if it’s possible to re-start play. Considering the NBA has fewer players than all the other leagues, that might make it more feasible. On the other hand, commissioners like the MLB’s Rob Manfred, aren’t even qualified to deliver me a pizza, and have no idea how to creatively get things re-started. Baseball is delusional enough to think they can still get 162 games in. There might not be fans in the stands, and they might not be playing in NBA arenas, but if it’s possible, Adam Silver will get it done.

Nothing seems to be going the Rams way this offseason. Their defense is losing players faster than Jameis Winston is losing points on his Uber Rating. They were forced to release Todd Gurley, and now their logo is embarrassing. The Rams had a couple of weeks to leak their logo, get negative feedback about it, and did nothing to change it. Now their new logo has been called everything from Donald Trump’s hair, something that looks like a penis, and even worse…..the Chargers logo. For now, everything about this team on and off the field feels like a disaster that won’t end anytime soon.

Meanwhile, I’m not sure what the Chargers are waiting for, they need to hurry up and sign Cam Newton. He’s not going to cost them very much, and he has huge upside. It wasn’t that long ago that Newton was a league MVP. He might not be that prolific of a passer, but he has much bigger upside than Tyrod Taylor as their starting QB. I admit that it’s entirely conceivable that Cam Newton could end up studying his post game outfits more than the playbook, but the risk is low if that happens. Especially if the Bolts have Taylor behind him, and they draft a QB this year.

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I was really glad to see the Summer Olympics postponed until 2021. I love the Olympics, and although I believe the IOC won’t be teaching a class on business ethics anytime soon, they made the right decision. Imagine being an athlete that trained for 4 years for this once in a lifetime opportunity to represent your country and compete in the Olympics. It would be wrong to take that moment away from those athletes, so I’m very glad they will get the opportunity again. More importantly, congratulations to all these athletes who are now free to go to In-N-Out and slam a double-double animal style with fries since they don’t have to compete for another year.

If the MLB cancels the season, Mookie Betts will never play for the Dodgers. If you think that Andrew Friedman is going to pay $300 million for Mookie then you probably also think that the coronavirus came from Corona beer. Although I gave Friedman credit for trading for Betts, I also made note of the fact it’s risky to trade for a player that has only one year left on his contract, as opposed to trading for a player like Nolen Arrenado, who has lots of term left on his contract. If the Dodgers get on the field and win the World Series this won’t matter, but until that happens, it might be a risk that went really badly.

Tell me you’ve seen Tiger King? Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Every episode is crazier than the last. Why did John do every interview without a shirt on? Then again, John freaking out about having to wear pants perfectly explains this quarantine. It’s hard for me to imagine that Carole didn’t kill her husband, especially when she wrote “disappeared” on his Power of Attorney. While it’s easy to say that Joe was framed for the murder-for-hire plot, in my mind all these people should be in jail. If nothing else, Joe, Jeff, Carole, and Doc Antle should be in jail for being lunatics. We simply should not have people walking around who are that crazy.

Finally, The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Daryl and Negan need to be in every scene from here on out. That tandem was so good. It’s still bizarre seeing Negan as a good guy, especially knowing that he crushed the skulls of two of our favorite characters in the show. Still, the duo’s acting is phenomenal. I love the Whisperer dude who said “screw this, I’m outta here”, and ran away from Beta and the dude who got his face ripped off. That scene of the walkers drinking martinis in the bar, as Eugene went by, was like a recreation of The Haunted Mansion ride, at Disney. The worst news is that we won’t get to see the season finale until later in the year. Thanks coronavirus. For all intents and purposes, next week is the season finale for us so let’s enjoy it for now!

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Monday Morning Coffee

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March 23, 2020

Those of us who are smart are currently practicing social distancing. Meanwhile, the Rams are practicing financial distancing from Todd Gurley, after cutting him last week. This was way too premature. Gurley might not be what he was two years ago, but he’s still better than the options the Rams have at running back. This move just goes to show you that the relationship between Gurley and Sean McVay had deteriorated to its breaking point. While I admire Les Snead for going all-in to get the Rams to the Super Bowl in 2019, his long-term management of the cap and draft capital hasn’t been good. In the NFL, you don’t pay people before you need to, and the Rams did that with Gurley, Cooks, and even Goff. With no 1st round pick this year or next, the best this team can hope for is a big improvement from Jared Goff, catching lightning in a bottle with Darrell Henderson, and Sean McVay regaining his magic. Unfortunately, this team is likely going to be last in the NFC West. At least you have a new stadium to enjoy!

As for the Chargers, their off-season is actually going better than most people think. Losing out on the Tom Brady sweepstakes is actually a good thing. Now they can finally go draft a quarterback. They need one worse than most people need toilet paper right now. In the meantime, Tyrod Taylor is a good enough quarterback to keep them competitive this year, especially with an improved offensive line, and a very solid secondary. In the NFL, the less sexy your off-season looks on paper, more often than not, the better off your team is going to be. With a solid draft, this team may very well be able to sneak into the playoffs next year. Whether or not anybody will go their games though is a different story.

Elsewhere around the NFL, of course Tom Brady is going to play in Florida next year. It’s what old people from New England do. Philip Rivers signed with the Colts, which instantly makes Indianapolis the 3rd largest city in America. Then again, with gatherings limited to less than 10 people these days, Rivers might have to give up one of his kids for adoption. Bill O’Brien’s work from home stint is off to a bad start. He traded DeAndre Hopkins, and couldn’t even get a bottle of expired hand sanitizer and a pack of toilet paper in return. I’m sure he’ll be trading J.J. Watt for Mitch Trubisky and a deep dish pizza this week. Thank God for NFL Free agency right now to keep us entertained!

The NBA badly needs to come back. Nene is making low budget porns and Jamaal Murray is getting head on IG. This global pandemic needs to end ASAP. If we are lucky to get the Association back this year, these guys will probably need some sort of a mini training camp to play again. Unless you are a superstar player with a workout facility in your house, you are probably at your pad slamming Doritos and playing video games. It’s going to be a problem with so many guys out of shape, but at this stage I’d consider it a quality problem to have. In case you missed out on Nene’s low budget porn here it is….

People, what part of “stay home” and “social distancing” do you not understand? I thought it was only people in Florida who were idiots? Just because the sun came out doesn’t mean you can go to the beach. This is a serious global pandemic, and many morons were out at the beach this weekend like everything was cool. Some people were even playing basketball in Laguna, Newport, and Venice Beach. Apparently some of you need to get really sick, or see your loved ones get hospitalized to take this seriously. Look at these idiots…

Finally, another eventful episode of The Walking Dead went down last night on AMC. Spoiler alert so read no further if you plan on watching it later. I did not see this episode coming at all, as we lost another significant character. This time it’s Michonne, who is bidding us a farewell. I at least like the fact that she didn’t die in the episode, and that they are setting the stage for an appearance from her in the The Walking Dead movie. However, I still can’t really buy into the idea that she is just going to leave her daughter behind to go find Rick, and that her daughter is perfectly ok with it. I thought the alternate reality she was experiencing made it an interesting episode, but not one that I would have pictured for her last episode. She was an excellent character overall, but the sad part is you can see an expiration date in sight for this entire show given all the characters they are losing. Only 3 episodes left this season!

Monday Morning Coffee

May 16, 2020

Rudy Gobert is such a good defender, he just shutdown the entire NBA, as well as every other major professional sport in this country. I’d make fun of Gobert for being reckless and stupid, but then again so were the rest of you that were out at bars, restaurants, and other public establishments this weekend. The NBA did the right thing by acting swiftly in suspending the season the other night. On the bright side, if we are really looking at a 3-month hiatus then the Knicks have a chance to play in June for the first time since 1999. This is obviously a serious bummer for the Lakers, and even the Clippers, who were vying for an NBA Championship. Then again, there’s probably a lot bigger things to concern ourselves with at this point than NBA Basketball, as much as we could really use the distraction.

If there is one thing I have learned from this Coronavirus scare it’s that we live among people who are nothing but extreme. This is a serious situation that needs to be handled carefully by everyone. However, being careful doesn’t mean panicking and losing your mind like the world is going to end. I admit it….I actually went to a bar on Friday night, but I didn’t feel good about it and I left. The way to handle this isn’t going out in public places and go to bars and restaurants, but it certainly isn’t going to the store and buying 50 rolls of toilet paper as well as buying months of groceries. It’s called moderation and sensibility. Unfortunately, we’re learning that most people don’t have it.

One thing that hasn’t stopped is NFL Free Agency and the off-season. I’m not a fan of the new collective bargaining agreement. These owners clearly don’t care about player safety, otherwise there would be no 17th game. We also don’t need two more playoff teams. The NFL is becoming over saturated, which we saw with the creation of Thursday Night Football. Meanwhile, Ryan Tannehill just scored a $118 million deal with the Tennessee Titans. That should be able to afford him five 6-packs of toilet paper from Costco.

As for the Chargers, they placed the franchise tag on Hunter Henry last week. Has anyone checked in on him to see how he’s taking the bad news? He must feel like a prisoner that just got denied parole. .At the same time, I still can’t see the Chargers coming to a deal with Tom Brady. Even if I overlook the fact the Bolts are cheap as hell, I don’t see the cultural fit. Brady is used to a high level of intensity and accountability with a franchise he’s been with for twenty years. He can’t recreate that culture with a new team in short order.

Then there’s the NCAA, which as usual, mishandled everything this week. They disappointed everyone by canceling the tournament instead of postponing it, and there’s really no good explanation for it. I don’t buy for one second that it’s just too hard to recreate a 68-team tournament over three weeks. The NBA and the NHL have 30+ teams in their league, and 1/3 of the teams share an arena. They aren’t cancelling their seasons yet because they know they can figure out the schedule if necessary. I wouldn’t trust the NCAA to tell me what they wanted on their pizza so this has to be about money. My theory is that they get more money from their contracts by cancelling the tournament instead of postponing. Also, thanks to the NCAA for teasing us twice by suggesting they would release the 68-team bracket, and then decided not to. Now we can all imagine what it would have been like to play PlayStation at home and simulate the whole tournament. What a bunch of crooks! Hope they follow through and give all the Seniors in every winter and spring sport an extra year of eligibility.

Since people are acting like it’s the end of the world, it’s only fitting we talk about an eventful episode of The Walking Dead last night on AMC. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Apparently Negan did learn something from Rick, which we found out when he killed Alpha by slashing her throat. I guess now we know who let Negan out of jail. It was Carol, who once again proved she’s a badass. They are the ultimate apocalyptic tag team. Great episode except the one night that we needed Chris Harwick to show up and host Talking Dead he doesn’t. Damn you Coronavirus! You’re taking everything from us!

Finally, The Bachelor wrapped up last week, but not before some serious fireworks. So after all that Peter Weber ended up with nobody. We thought he was going to give it a shot with Madison, but the relationship has reportedly ended. I’ve seen 7th grade relationships last longer than this one. Peter’s major mistake was leaving Hannah Ann after she was engaged to her. I’m glad she ripped into him on National TV in the finale. Funny that everyone wants to blast Barbara for not being supportive of her son, but the reality of it is she was right all along. Barb cried so hard during those last two episodes, you would think she was at Costco and couldn’t find any toilet paper. Then again, the arguments during the finale were much better than the Democratic Presidential debate last night. Now Bachelor Nation is hyped because Hannah B went to Jupiter, FL to quarantine with Tyler C. I’d lose my mind if I were quarantined with that woman. Nevertheless, here’s to hoping we get more satisfactory endings on this show in the future.

Monday Morning Coffee

March 9, 2020

That was a spectacular weekend of basketball by the Lakers.  Wins over the Bucks and Clippers should shut up the Laker haters in the media, who seem to think they can’t beat elite teams.  Frank Vogel did an outstanding job going small to matchup with the Clips.  Avery Bradley and KCP were huge, and it was nice to see Kuz contributing in other ways than scoring.  AD dominated but I think I saw him lick his hand and low-five Bradley yesterday.  I don’t think the CDC would approve on that one.  In case you haven’t noticed, Lebron is still the best player in the world.  He just dominated both Giannis and Kawhi this weekend, and he should also be the MVP, as I said last week.  Nobody is more valuable to their team.  Hope all the Laker fans enjoy getting to troll Marcellus Wiley and the 5 other Clipper fans on Twitter after that victory.

As for the Clippers, they are still loaded and in good shape with 19 games left.  However, they have issues to workout to win these big games.  They are oozing with talent, but all of that talent needs the ball to be effective.  That was evident in the 4th quarter yesterday when Lou Williams was very quiet, and Paul George disappeared like Bernie Sanders lead in the polls.  Also, nobody complains like Doc Rivers, this time about the 1230 pm start.  I’ve got news for you Doc.  You aren’t playing at 1230 pm because you are the third tenant in the building.  You are playing at 1230 pm because you have a good team and are on National TV.

That was a tough loss for UCLA against USC on Saturday afternoon at the Galen Center. However, losing on a buzzer beater to a tournament team that is on a roll should not a be a punishment that puts the Bruins outside of the tournament. UCLA has been playing like one the top 15 teams in the country for weeks. If you think that they should be excluded from the field because they lost to some weak competition 5 months ago, you are about as spaced out as Joe Biden. This is a completely different team, not to mention one that would make the NCAA Tournament that much more fun to watch.

I don’t know if anybody has seen Dodger stadium lately, but they are working on some renovations and are way behind. Andrew Friedman’s computer must have failed him again, because I don’t see how the center field plaza they are building is going to be ready by March 26th. On a positive note though, the Dodger pitching staff is already looking really good early on in Spring Training. Now if only they could just not make us pull our hair out in October.

I’m don’t know about you guys, but I don’t like the Rams new logo.  Did LA get a new arena team because that feels like where this logo is from?  In fact, it almost looks like a Chargers/Rams logo merger.  Anything that can be made in 5 minutes on Microsoft Paint is probably not something that needs to be made into an NFL logo.  It literally looks like they just took two of the blandest letters and said, “Let’s add Donald Trump’s hair quaff to  the ‘A’ and call it a day, shall we?”.

Another episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night.  Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it so read no further if you plan on watching it later.  Is this what the Corona Virus will look like in 10 years? Negan looked like he was questioning his life choices in that first scene walking among the dead with dead skin on his face.  That episode had a slight Game of Thrones feel to it.  Carol giving The King the pity sex has to frustrate everybody hoping for Daryl and Carol to get together.  What the hell is wrong with you Eugene? You could have made out with Rosita and still gotten with your boo.  This dude couldn’t get laid if Tinder existed in the apocalypse.  Also not sure how Rosita is keeping her eyebrows on fleek like that in the apocalypse.  Too bad Hiltop doesn’t have fire insurance after Alpha burned it to the ground last night.  Guess we won’t be seeing Maggie go back there when she returns this season.  It was a pretty good episode, and looking forward to seeing where things go next week.

Finally, The Bachelor went down on ABC last week with the Women Tell All, and it’s back tonight. I know you all did a little victory dance when you learned that Victoria was sent home by Peter. It’s about time that nonsense ended. Then again, I just don’t see how Madison and Peter are compatible given their values. Did nobody notice that Madison’s rose was actually falling apart when he handed it to her? Seems indicative of the relationship. I also like how Victoria claimed she had not broken up previous relationships, but we all know the internet has receipts. I’m beginning to think that cut Peter has on his forehead might have given him brain damage for keeping Victoria around this long. This was really one of the most uneventful Women Tell All’s I can remember. Peter played nice with all his ex-girlfriends, and even the spats between all the ladies were nothing too intense. I’m anticipating some major drama these next two nights to make up for it.

Monday Morning Coffee

March 2, 2020

Last Monday morning was an incredible experience at Staples Center.  We formally said goodbye to Kobe and Gigi, even though this is something we’ll probably never get over.  Vanessa Bryant you are an incredibly strong woman for standing up and speaking in front of all those people.  It was so beautifully done, and every performer and speaker was brilliant.    I also think that Michael Jordan and Shaq provided some much needed humor in their speeches, given how heavy the entire experience was.  Lay off Lebron people.  I have no idea if he was there or not.  However, the man has the right to grieve in his own way.  He’s definitely hurting like the rest of us.  In case you missed Shaq’s speech, this moment was perfect.

On the floor, the Lakers are still in 1st place in the West after taking down New Orleans yestserday.  I sure hope the Lakers don’t play the Pelicans in the 1st round.  Zion is a beast, and Brandon Ingram is going to be seeking revenge like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill.  I realize that Giannis is having a great season, and is the best player on the team with the best record.  However, Lebron James is truly the Most Valuable Player in the league.  In his 17th season season he leads the league in assists, and the advanced stats tell you he creates more quality scoring opportunities for others on the floor than any other player in the league.  According to those analytics, if the Lakers don’t have Lebron on the floor they are arguably a lottery team.  That makes him more valuable than anybody.  Lebron does also deserve an Oscar for overselling this foul.

As for the Clippers, they found the win column yesterday against a short-
handed 76ers team.  They have looked great in the last two games, but inconsistent in others.  It makes you wonder if they really are capable of throwing the switch come playoff time.  I’m sure they wish they could play the Lakers every night, since that’s the only team they get up for, but that’s not how the league works.   Thinking you can turn it on whenever you want is a dangerous way to play, and if they get bounced in the 2nd round or earlier because of it, it’s going to be another laughable embarrassment for the franchise given the hype around them.  The Clippers went full Clippers with having a Bumble patch on their jerseys. Consider that an app for when you’re trying to find friends in your city. That franchise is going to be Milhouse forever!

It’s nice to see the Dodgers moving past the Astros cheating scandal and playing good baseball in the spring.  Clayton Kershaw and Walker Beuhler have looked great, and so has Kenley Jansen.  Also good to see the offense clicking.  However, Kike Hernandez really needs to find some pants that aren’t so tight.  Kike you are going to start a forrest fire in there my man!

The Angels have given up hope on their pitching staff for Lent. The Halos were already dealt a blow to their pitching staff over the weekend when they learned that Garrett Canning will probably start the year on the IL with elbow troubles. Since he pitches for the Angels, that already makes me think he’s headed for Tommy John surgery. At this point, Arte Moreno looks like an even bigger dope for backing out of the deal that would have brought him Ross Stripling and Joc Pederson for a can of Coke. Stripling would have easily been a front of the rotation pitcher for the Angels, and eaten up a lot of innings. The season hasn’t even started yet, and it’s already beginning like last season.

UCLA Basketball is back! Well it’s coming back at least. The energy at Pauley Pavilion over the weekend was unbelievable. The Bruins have won 7 in a row, and 11 of 13, to climb into 1st place in the Pac-12. More importantly, Joe Lunardi now has UCLA projected to be a #12 seed in the NCAA Tournament. Bruin fans haven’t been this excited since Dan Guerrero announced his retirement. Mick Cronin can coach, and these guys are truly enjoying playing with each other. There probably aren’t 15 teams in the country playing better than the Bruins, so it’s going to be an exciting March, starting with a massive showdown against USC next Saturday to finish up the regular season.

Excellent episode of The Walking Dead last night on AMC. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Judith was straight up Kevin McCallister shooting one of the “Wet Bandits” when she shot Beta in the shoulder. Can’t say I saw that one coming. You also have to love how Gamma was another prisoner that confessed her life story to Judith. She’s like a 9-year-old psychiatrist. Beta entering Alexandria from the grave was one of the creepiest things this show has ever created. His fight scene with Rosita was even more epic. She fared better than Daryl did against Alpha, especially since he got his butt saved by Lydia. I mean he did sit there and practically bleed to death while Lydia and Alpha went to therapy. I still can’t get used to the idea of Rosita and Gabriel being a couple. In any case, looking forward to next week’s episode!

Finally, The Bachelor is back tonight on ABC! This last episode killed me. I’m sure we all rolled our eyes when Peter told Victoria she had nothing to work on. So Victoria is fine going into a helicopter, yet she had a freaking panic attack going on an airplane? Oooookay that makes sense. Did nobody else notice that she actually used her dress as a tissue? How is that woman a medical device sales rep? A customer would ask her how the device worked and she would respond by saying “I don’t knowwwwww…..what do you want from me?” I can’t believe these lame producers tried to replicate the Titanic scene with Hannah Ann in the Fantasy Suite. You Bachelor Nation people are really killing me though. Last season, when Luke P slut shamed Hannah B you all killed him for it and came to his defense. Now that Madison is essentially slut shaming Peter, you all think it’s different and are coming to Madison’s defense. Bottom line though, Peter may be a dud, but he isn’t a jerk for sleeping with two other women he’s been dating for a few months, and Madison isn’t wrong for not wanting him to. They just have different values and therefore aren’t a good match. That explanation is probably too sensible for The Bachelor though.

Monday Morning Coffee

February 24, 2020

It’s always nice to beat the Celtics like the Lakers did yesterday. Hopefully the referees are going to see some good ophthalmologists this morning. The Lakers are comfortably in 1st place in the West with 27 games left so stop finding things to complain about like a nagging house wife. What you should be thrilled about is the fact that Giannis has already fueled speculation that he might come to LA to play with the Lake Show in the Summer of 2021. I’m sure some of you are already designing your knock off Laker Giannis jersey. As for the Markieff Morris addition, it’s fine and he does improve their shooting a bit, but he doesn’t fill a glaring need. He’s not a playmaker, nor is he guy who can defend big wing players. I feel bad for DeMarcus Cousins after he got waived. He’s still allowed to stay with the Lakers to use their practice facility to workout and rehab. That’s like your girl cheating on you, the new guy moves in, but she invites you to stay in the guest room so you can hear them hooking up. Pretty brutal. Still, Morris is still probably the best player that is available now that the Lakers could get their hands on without giving up anybody.

Meanwhile, the team across the hall, the Clippers, is struggling to find chemistry. I guess that’s what happens when your most key players can’t even practice because of load management. Doc Rivers uses more lineups than Andrew Friedman’s computer. He had to start Reggie Jackson in his first game, who’s really an awkward fit because he’s just another guy that needs to ball. That’s the case with the Clippers’ best players. Funny how last year everybody was riding the Lakers about lack of chemistry, and this year they have great chemistry. On the other hand, the Clippers are led by a mega billionaire that’s really trying to buy a championship, might have bought Kawhi a house, probably paid off Darren Collison to stay retired, and probably paid millions in untraceable crypto to buyout guys to not join the Lakers. Too bad you can’t buy chemistry.

Is it possible that it took until January for UCLA to realize that Mick Cronin was actually their head basketball coach? The Bruins are suddenly a possibility to be a tournament team, and at the moment there probably aren’t 15 teams that are better right now. If Cronin keeps slaying Top 25 teams like this, we’re going to start calling him “Cronin The Barbarian”. After beating Colorado, that’s the Bruin’s fifth Quad 1 win, and even though they have some glaring flaws, if they win out in the regular season they might win the PAC 12, and should very much be an at-large team. More than anything though, Cronin just has this team playing hard. Cronin is more consistent than A Few Good Men on a rainy Sunday. Keep it up Bruins!

The new proposed NFL CBA is ridiculous. These owners don’t give a crap about player safety, no matter how much they pretend to. The idea of adding two more playoff spots is silly too, because it’s just going to further dilute their product with more potentially meaningless games with under .500 teams. With 7 playoff spots in the AFC and NFC, the CBA might as well say the Browns and Cowboys will still be excluded. Also that with a 17-game season, that gives the Lions a chance to go 0-17. The two extra active roster spots will allow the Patriots to carry two extra referees on game day. And ultimately more money for the NFL, which is all they care about.

Look guys, spring training is here, and I am still not ready for Dodger baseball. I’m still going through therapy after what happened to Clayton Kershaw in Game 5 of the NLDS in October. Not to mention the fact we have to hear about the Astros screwing the Dodgers out of the World Series in 2017 on a daily basis and Rob Manfred doing nothing about it. It’s also going to get pretty awkward if these findings come out about the Red Sox cheating against the Dodgers in 2018 with Mookie Betts on the team now. What’s he going to say? “Sorry I cheated against you guys in 2018. I promise I’ll make it up to you by cheating this year to help us win.”

The Walking Dead is back! I was excited until I had to see Negan and Alpha getting naked with each other in the forest. Oh yea, spoiler alert if you have yet to see it so read no further if that is the case. Carol is such a stone cold killer that she even killed off any potential relationship she had with Daryl. You can’t get a Daryl and Carol sex scene but you can get one of Negan and Alpha. Too bad it was virtually impossible to see anything going on in the cave. The producers needed to hand everyone night vision goggles to get a good view. Connie and Magna really gonna get trapped in a Cave but Jerry got his fat butt outta there? Sheesh. Tough first episode of the mid-season premiere.

Finally, The Bachelor is back tonight on ABC and Peter has narrowed it down to three women. Peter’s choices are worse than your choices for Democratic Presidential Candidates. Peter and Victoria need to stop going to country concerts because country sucks, and because they keep running into exes. I’m convinced the only reason Peter is keeping her around is to hit it on fantasy suite night. If any of these girls end up as The Bachelorette next season we should all just feel like jumping off the roof. The scripting of this show is just getting to be too much though. Of course an ex gf is going to go on TV and bash the new girl you’re dating. Peter is a dope. We’ll see where this goes, but there are sure to be more complaints when this is over.

Monday Morning Coffee

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February 17, 2020

I don’t know about you but the Lakers should be very pleased where they are at the All-Star break. For a team that you thought would need time to gel compared to every other team, it’s not so bad being in 1st place. Bet you also didn’t expect that a guy who looked like a high school math teacher, Alex Caruso, would be helping the Lakers win in crunch time. The only teams the Lakers should be concerned about are the Clippers and Bucks, but they can beat them as currently constructed. As for buyout candidates, the guy the Lakers should consider is Lance Stephenson. He’s played with Lebron, he’s played for Frank Vogel, he’s a solid wing defender, and he’s a play maker, Plus every championship team needs at least one crazy guy. Do it Pelinka!

As for the Clippers, Stephen A. Smith said they have “5 dogs”. If that’s true, Paul George must be a poodle, while Pat Beverly is a mini Chihuahua, Kawhi is the robot dog from Jimmy Neutron, and Montrezl is Chinese Crested because he is ugly as hell. How did Paul George convince Kawhi he’s a better #2 than Pascal Siakam? George disappears like Houdini in every big game, and wants no part of the big stage. This may cost the Clippers in the playoffs like they don’t even know.

As for All-Star Weekend, it was wonderful seeing a very competitive 4th quarter, and see these guys actually compete. Kobe would have been proud. Chaka Kahn singing the National Anthem made my ears bleed. Might as well have sung “Happy Birthday Mr. President.” Jennifer Hudson’s tribute to Kobe was phoenomenal, and Common was sensational introducing all the All-Stars. Aaron Gordon is the Rodney Dangerfield of the NBA Slam Dunk Contest: “No Respect!” Aaron Gordon basically flew over the Pacific Ocean, smacked the Statue of Liberty on the butt, took a self in mid-air with the ball, then landed in the United Center and dunks it, but the judges were like…..

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To baseball where the Astros are now saying that they had nothing to do with the sign stealing allegations, the equipment wasn’t their’s. They were just holding it for a friend and testing it through the year to make sure it still worked. Sure. That’s basically what Carlos Correa said when he angrily responded to Cody Bellinger’s comments ripping their players. Correa can rationalize what they were doing to make it palatable in his own mind that the Astros won the 2017 World Series “fair and square”, but you don’t get to pick and choose when stealing signs was right and when it was wrong. Also, Commissioner Rob Manfred is unfit to run a hot dog stand, let alone Major League Baseball. The fact he won’t strip the Astros of their title simply means he has no principles and integrity.

I need to issue an apology to Mick Cronin and the UCLA Basketball team. I was wondering about Cronin and if he was really Steve Lavin. Cronin knows infinitely more basketball than Lavin. However, he’s really more like Ben Howland. He’s all about defense and the grind mentality. The Bruins are embracing this and after sweeping the Washington schools, they may be building some momentum toward being a bubble team.

I think the Rams would be foolish to trade Todd Gurley. The Rams real problems are their offensive line. I don’t know what Gurley did to Sean McVay, but he must have hit on his hot new Euro fiance to piss him off and not give him a consistent work load. Gurley can still play if you get the right guys to open holes for him.

Do you really think the Chargers are going to pick up Tom Brady or Cam Newton? The fact Coach Anthony Lynn said that Tyrod Taylor has a chance to be the starting QB should tell you everything you need to know. They have no intention of paying big money for anybody because that’s what they’ve done historically. They also are clueless about the importance of big names and selling tickets when moving into a new stadium.

Arte Moreno is a fool. The man could have had a very useful left fielder in Joc Pederson and an even more useful starter in Ross Stripling had he just been a little more patient. I thought Arte stopped interfering with transactions after the Josh Hamilton debacle a few years ago. Apparently he got tired of not screwing things up himself anymore, so he’s back at it.

Finally, The Bachelor went down on ABC last week, and it’s back tonight with home town dates. Victoria F finds a way to complain every time she gets a rose from Peter. Peter was really dodging questions about his religion like Trump dodges questions at an impeachment hearing during his date with Madison. Do you realize the most mature contestant of the final four just spilled champagne all of her face? Can the producers just send Peter home already? I can already tell this season is going to end and we’re going to tell ourselves “why do I watch this show again?”

Monday Morning Coffee

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February 10, 2020

Relax Laker fans.   So they didn’t make a trade at the deadline and they shouldn’t have.  Every team was asking for multiple starters, the Laker girls, a dinner with Jack Nicholson, and a chance to touch the championship trophy.  Props to Rob Pelinka for at least trying to get a deal done with limited assets.   This team looks physically and mentally exhausted, and needs the All-Star break to recover. Seeing the best player in franchise history pass away will do that to you.   Yes Darren Collison or Andre Iguodola would have been nice, but they have enough to win as is. Collison must have really just wanted a free dinner at The Palms and courtside seats to a game with Jeanie, because that meeting was a serious waste of time.  By the way, this man has a $100 million contract with the Knicks in his future….

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Meanwhile, the Clippers took advantage of the Knicks and acquired Marcus Morris.  After firing their President, the Clips took advantage of them like that new guy in your fantasy basketball league that has no idea what he’s doing.  Interestingly enough, Mo Harkless could get bought out by the Knicks, who could be a good buyout candidate the Lakers could sign.  Harkless probably has all kinds of inside info on what kind of personality disorder Kawhi has that led him to sign with the Clippers.  By the way, the Clippers lost by 30 to the Wolves, and of course nobody talks about it.  That’s because nobody cares about them.

Elsewhere around the NBA Trade deadline, the Pistons traded Andre Drummond to the Cavs for a can of Coke, and a pair of nose bleed seats to a Browns game.  Andre Iguodola just sat out for 6 months and is getting another $30 million.  This country is amazing.  Everyone and their aunts, uncles, cousins, lions, tigers, and bears got traded as part of the Hawks, Nuggets, Rockets, and Wolves trade.

As you all know, Dodger President of Baseball Operations Andrew Friedman is my whipping boy on Jock Talk LA. However, I’m going to take this opportunity to actually give him credit for making a great trade now that it’s official. Mookie Betts, the 2nd best player in baseball, and David Price are now Dodgers, and Friedman gave up nothing more than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Congrats Andrew. You’ve earned yourself a good two weeks without me complaining about your penny pinching philosophy. I have to say that the Angels really got screwed in this deal though by the Red Sox waffling, because they really could have used Joc Pederson and Ross Stripling. As nice as it would be for Friedman to keep those guys though, they should try to move them for a high leverage bullpen arm. That way we won’t all be sweating bullets come October with the likes of Kershaw, Price, and Jansen on the mound.

The LA Kings are a disaster. We’re talking Iowa Caucuses level disaster. They are bleeding losses, and while you think it’s great they are going to get another great draft pick it doesn’t mean anything. The Kings have the #1 ranked farm system in the league already. However, their system is broken, their culture has disappeared like Joe Biden, and their front office has no idea what they are doing. The latest trade by GM Rob Blake demonstrates a complete mismanagement of the trade value of goalie Jack Campbell, and the complete mismanagement of the salary cap by retaining salary for Kyle Clifford. Blake is now responsible for putting $11 million in dead money on the salary cap. This guy is burning money faster than Enron did. That’s 2-3 quality players they could use with that money. It doesn’t matter what the Kings do in the draft if they don’t fix their misguided system, their inept front office, and their leadership.

I can’t tell if UCLA basketball is really making progress, or if they are just re-living the Steve Lavin era. The Bruins dismantled Arizona over the weekend, and have now won five of their last seven games, including wins over Top 25 ranked Arizona and Colorado. In the Lavin era, they got up for good teams, and lost to bad ones. The fact the Bruins are playing lock down defense at times makes me think it might be more of an effort issue. Only time will tell with another month to go before PAC 12 Tournament time.

That was very bold of ABC to assume that we had five hours to spend watching The Bachelor this week. Gotta love how Hannah Ann didn’t love someone she dated for over 3 years but she thinks she can fall in love with Peter in 6 weeks. Did anybody else open a bottle of champagne when Victoria P, Tammy, Mykenna, and Sydney all went home in the same night? It had to be fun when Mykenna and Tammy ran into each other at the airport. I can’t decide if all the girls are awful, if Peter is a terrible Bachelor, or all of the above? This outfit makes me think the producers are intentionally sabotaging the season:

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Finally, the Oscars went down on ABC last night! Florence Pugh and Margot Robbie really lost to Laura Dern? They should have just asked Chris Rock and Steve Martin to host the entire show. Pretty savage that they didn’t nominate any female directors, yet Rock had to make jokes about the fact there are no women. They are probably going to lose their Amazon Prime status though. Brad Pitt definitely destroyed the GOP with his comment on John Bolton. Holy 2002! Eminem brought the house down with “Lose Yourself”. Who knew that Chrissy Metz could sing? They had presenters for presenters, but nobody to introduce her. Someone tell Diane Keaton we get it….she had sex with Keanu Reeves. That felt more like the Grammy’s than the Oscar’s and I’m perfectly alright with it.

Monday Morning Coffee

February 3, 2020

Last week was a tough week. Friday’s Laker game felt more like a memorial than a basketball game. I have no idea how they played. It was hard enough just being in the building and watching. However, everyday is getting a little better, even though we’ll probably never get over it. I also don’t think anybody can accuse Lebron of not being a true Laker or part of the Laker family after what he said before Friday’s game. Meanwhile, Kobe probably thinks we’re soft as Charmin toilet paper for crying over him for a week. By the way, the trade deadline is in 3.5 days. Kyle Kuzma might need to have his bags packed because the Lakers reportedly offered him in a trade to the Sacramento Kings last week. However, the Lakers just need to hope nothing much happens at the deadline, and that Andre Iguodola and Darren Collison are available on the free agent market.

Meanwhile, Doc Rivers says the Clippers can honor Kobe best by just winning. I respect the love you’ve shown Kobe the last week Doc, but let’s be real. The Clippers can honor Kobe best by packing their bags and moving to Seattle. You people also can’t be surprised that Paul George didn’t make the All-Star Team. The man has been injured for most of the season, and he’s been defending more like Boy George. It also seems like load management doesn’t seem to be inhibiting Kawhi Leonard’s ability to frequent LA strip clubs, since there’s plenty of photos and videos of him there.

To the NFL, where Super Bowl Sunday went down yesterday with the Chiefs taking down the 49ers. Congratulations to Andy Reid, who finally gets that all-you-can-eat fast food buffet at the White House. They say no lead is safe with Patrick Mahomes on the other side, but the real truth is no lead is safe with Kyle Shannahan on your side. I think it’s safe to say that Patrick Mahomes broke The Madden Curse. Donald Trump deleted this tweet but not before the internet had the receipt and roasted him for it. I think Missouri just turned blue.

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Damn you Google! Nobody wants to cry in Super Bowl commercials. My biggest takeaway from the Super Bowl commercials is that car brands are dominating alcohol brands. Rookie move by Mike Bloomberg to air an anti-gun commercial on Super Bowl Sunday. His Presidential campaign will be shorter than the rap career of Vanilla Ice. Walmart using all this money on commercials, but how about you hire more people so I don’t have to scan & bag my own groceries?? 14 years later, Shakira’s hips still don’t lie. Shakira is 43 and J-Lo is 50, yet they look more amazing than most 25-year-olds. Makes you think twice about grabbing that 2nd helping of nachos.

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The Dodgers need to stop whining about the Astros cheating scandal and do something to improve their club. We keep hearing about Mookie Betts, but until it’s a done deal, I’m going to remain skeptical. Andrew Friedman has more money and high-end prospects to work with than anybody else in baseball, yet he’s got this weird FOMO. That’s Fear of Missing Out on affordable prospects. Of course he wants Betts because he is only under contract for one more year. There’s not a chance in hell that Friedman is going to pay Betts more than the $300 million he just turned down from the Red Sox. Friedman would rather rent an elite player for a year giving up average talent than acquire an elite player like Nolan Arrenado who is under contract for 8 more years. He’s the dumbest smart guy I’ve ever seen.

We might not want to write off the UCLA Bruin basketball team just yet. The Bruins have won two straight, including a win over #20 Colorado on Friday night. Now they travel to Arizona for duel in the desert with the Wildcats and Sun Devils next weekend. Nice to see the Bruins finally get some offense going. Prior to Friday, they were scoring less than Urkel on Prom night. I’m still wondering though why Shareef O’Neal couldn’t get any playing time for the Bruins. They are so desperate for elite talent, and I can’t imagine this guy just simply couldn’t play. I guexs we’ll find out soon enough if he can’t crack a rotation at a 3rd division I school.

Finally, another episode of The Bachelor is going down on ABC tonight. You know how you know the show is going downhill? They are now having dates in Cleveland. Can you imagine lasting this long and going out on dates in freaking Cleveland? I’m offended just watching. Did Peter really suggest that Chase Rice could maybe sing at his and Victoria’s wedding? Gotta love all the women complaining about busting their humps on the football field, and then seeing Alayah come back. Have these women never actually watched this show? Peter should send them home in two seconds if they aren’t having fun. I only know four names at this point and it’s because Peter only talks to about 4 people. Looking forward to seeing more of this train wreck tonight, but first, in case you missed it check out the SNL spoof on The Bachelor.

Monday Morning Coffee

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January 27, 2020

This is by far the hardest Monday Morning Coffee I have ever had to write. Let me start by saying my heart goes out to Vanessa and the entire Bryant family, as well as the families of all the other people that were on that flight. Obviously, everyone is going to talk about Kobe, but there were 8 other people on that flight that were people with families as well, and some people that were even close to some of my own family members. Yesterday’s helicopter crash was a shocking tragedy that left me shaken, and like many of you, I’m sobbing and sick to my stomach.

It’s amazing that the man that at times appeared to be invincible died yesterday. As a life-long Laker fan, and a Newport Beach resident, Kobe has felt like a part of my life, and that of many other Southern Californians for the last twenty years. We watched him grow up and mature before our very eyes, and captivate us for decades. It was easy to take for granted, but he was an absolute privilege to watch. Every time he took the court, you knew that you were watching greatness, and waiting for what he was going to do next.



I love the fact that Kobe defied logic on the basketball court. He built his career on making impossible shots. These impossible shots that he made were the shots that his opponents were hoping he would take, yet that’s how he succeeded.

Kobe also commanded respect from everyone. Even his most hated rivals, and those that hated him as a player or person. His work ethic and his ability to push through pain was second to none. I always loved it when over the years someone would tell me how much they hated Kobe, yet how much they had to respect him for all that. That work ethic is what’s so inspirational to people around the world.

What makes me even more sad is knowing how much closer it felt Kobe got to the current Laker players over the last few weeks. He finally started going to games again because Gigi got him into it. Dwight Howard is going to be in the Slam Dunk Contest next month at All-Star Weekend, and he wanted to have Kobe be a part of his routine. Their relationship had come so far. Then Kobe had expressed his support for Lebron before LBJ eclipsed his scoring mark on Saturday night.

Coincidentally, in recent days I began asking myself about Kobe’s legacy as Lebron approached his scoring mark. I thought to myself that Kobe’s legacy was largely around basketball. However, after seeing everyone’s reaction the last 24 hours, it solidified the fact that Kobe’s legacy goes beyond basketball. First of all, thanks to Kobe, he set a ridiculous standard for winning in Los Angeles. If you aren’t in the business of competing for championships, then we think you suck. Why do you think I complain about Andrew Friedman and the Dodgers every week?

More than anything though, Kobe Bryant’s “Mamba Mentality” is a metaphor for life. Kobe gave every ounce of his body on the basketball court until he physically had nothing left give and his body couldn’t handle it anymore. He also took that approach after basketball, and even won an Oscar. The metaphor is that if you don’t give it your all no matter what you’re doing in life, you will wake up one day with a lot of regret. In other words, live life every day like Kobe did…..pretending like your house is on fire, and strive to be great. You only have one life to live and approaching it with that mentality is this reason why Kobe inspires people around the world. Thank you Kobe for inspiring us all.

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