Monday Morning Coffee

February 19, 2018

Now that Steph lost to Lebron again, he will probably beg Kevin Durant to join his team one more time just for old times sake.  Then again, KD will probably now demand a trade to the Cavs when he wakes up this morning.  For the first three quarters of the All-Star game, I was bored and ready to switch over to some Olympic figure skiing.  However, the 4th quarter was actually entertaining because Team Lebron decided to compete.  Steph’s team was so surprised by it, they ended up choking their lead away.  Forget the game though, Fergie’s National Anthem disaster was hilarious.  That rendition would have been perfect were she performing in a strip club.  I don’t know how any player managed to keep a straight face either.

You didn’t really think we could go a full week without hearing from Lavar did you? His latest idiotic comment is saying that Lonzo won’t re-sign with the Lakers unless his two brothers are playing in their organization.  As much as I think Lonzo is going to be a very good player (and no I don’t really think the Lakers should trade him just for the sake of it), part of me would love to see the Lakers trade him just to punk Lavar.  Hopefully it’s in a package for Anthony Davis.  Better yet, I’d rather see them re-sign Lonzo, sign his two brothers, then cut them.  If Lavar keeps up this crap, if Lonzo ever falters, he is going to have to pack up his circus and take it elsewhere.

To college basketball, where the Bruins picked up a couple of huge wins last week against the Oregon schools.  I don’t care what anybody says:  Thomas Welsh is UCLA’s most important player, and he might even be their best player.  Of course you would never know that since Steve Alford is their coach.  All season long, he has had no idea how to get him more touches, and facilitate more offense through him.  I always knew Alford couldn’t coach defense, but the fact he can’t figure out how to use his best player tells you just how bad he is.  The Bruins need to win two of their last three, plus grab a conference tournament win to safely make it in to the NCAA Tourney.  Then Alford’s squad can look forward to going home early again.

In case you didn’t hear, the LA Kings made a huge trade last week.  They traded former 40-goal scorer Marian Gaborik to the Senators for defenseman Dion Phaneuf.  Phaneuf used to be one of the best defenseman in the league, 10 years ago.  However, the Kings got the most important asset in the acquisition: Phaneuf’s wife, Elisha Cuthbert.  Phaneuf’s contract is horrible, but knowing that they would be seeing Cuthbert in the stands every home game was probably enough to get the deal done.

Donald Trump is going to add the U.S. Men’s curling team to his travel ban list after their horrendous performance at the Olympics.  Can’t we just put politics aside for this 17-day period? Apparently Lindsay Vonn and her critics couldn’t.  Vonn got sixth place in the Super-G after saying she wouldn’t visit the White House if she was invited.  Of course all the Trump supporters jumped on her like a Cheetah on a Rabbit after her disappointing performance.  Seems rather un-American for both sides.      Lost in all that however, is the fact that NBC looks like fools.  They announced Austrian, Anna Veith as the winner, but it was Ester Ledecka from the Czech Republic that won after NBC had left coverage.  Even more shocking was the fact Ledecka did this after borrowing ski’s from U.S. star Mikaela Shiffrin.  Aren’t the Winter Olympics tough enough for the U.S.? Now we’re actually lending equipment to other countries to beat us.  Also, is this the Winter Games or The Hunger Games?

The NCAA denied Notre Dame’s appeal of 21 vacated football wins due to an academic misconduct violation.  I guess the NCAA finds it a complete outrage that athletes at Notre Dame have to be students too, and felt the need to punish the school.  By “punish”, what I really mean is that we’re all going to pretend that Notre Dame didn’t really finish the 2012 season undefeated and play in the BCS National Championship game.  That’s ok though, I’d rather wipe away the embarrassment of that game against Alabama.  The Irish did lose the game, but make no mistake about it: they won the tailgate party…..

Finally, another episode of The Bachelor goes down on ABC tonight.  Last week was a difficult episode that was missing a lot of entertainment value with the recent departures of several contestants from the week before.  I’m going to start referring to Lauren B as “Lauren ZZZZZZZ” because she’s practically sleeping on all her dates with Arie.  She was basically walking around Tuscany in silence.  Did Arie think he picked the other Lauren when he kept her on the show?  Then what was Arie doing when he got up in the middle of dinner with her after she actually started talking? Did he have to pass gas or just talk to the producer? It’s like they forgot to air an episode, because there’s no explanation for why Lauren is still around since they have nothing in common.  I sort of thought Arie was a dummy, but now I know he’s a dummy because he used the phrase “I’m trying to be logic” on two different occasions with two different women.  Bekah M sabotaged herself by continuously reminding Arie of her age.  It’s like nails on chalkboard and led to her elimination.  Then there’s Tia who claims she is falling for Arie.  Of course she’s falling for Arie.  What do you think there’s rich race car drivers just walking around the woods of Weiner, Arkansas for her? If Arie picks her over more educated women like Jacqueline or Sienne, it’s not even close to being believable.

 

Monday Morning Coffee

February 12, 2018

The Lakers made a lot of noise at the NBA trade deadline last week.  I’m shocked that ESPN didn’t respond by getting Lavar Ball’s thoughts for the next 30 minutes.  As for the acquisition of Isaiah Thomas and Channing Frye, it’s like I told you after the Lakers used D’Angelo Russell to dump Timofey Mozgov’s contract.  If the Lakers are going to keep dumping young talent they’ve spent years investing in, this summer they better sign Lebron James.  Come July, I better not hear Magic and Rob try to sell me on trading for another has been like Brook Lopez, with one year left on his deal, just to try their luck in the 2019 free agent market.  It’s Lebron James and Paul George or bust, and the Lakers are either doubling down on dumb, or they know something the rest of us don’t.  I sure hope it’s the latter.

Then there’s the Clippers, who blew a huge opportunity at the trade deadline.  They hung on to DeAndre Jordan, Avery Bradley, and decided to sign Lou Williams to an extension.  Everyone comes up a loser in this instance.  The Clips blew an opportunity to get more assets to help them rebuild, and I don’t know what Lou Williams was thinking.  He signed a team friendly extension with a Clipper team that probably convinced him they won’t trade him.  That’s about as smart as doing business with Lavar Ball.

To baseball where Yu Darvish just signed a contract for up to $150 million over 6 years with the Chicago Cubs.  This dude has a career postseason ERA over 5, and bamboozled somebody into giving him $150 million? What a time to be alive! I’d like to know if the MLB players union still thinks the owners are colluding to not pay top dollar for free agents.  Sure the Dodgers could use another great starting pitcher, but surely not at that price, and not for a guy who has shown you can’t trust in the most crucial moments of the season.  Nobody should have given Darvish a dime until he proved he’s not really tipping his pitches.

Nothing in the world could have been more predictable than seeing UCLA lose to Arizona State, after defeating Arizona on the road.  As usual, Steve Alford’s squad looked totally disjointed on offense, and looked completely clueless on the defensive end against the Sun Devils.  The win against Arizona also makes sense because you can always count on Sean Miler to make Alford look like John Wooden.  Nobody does less with more than Miller.  Alford played lineups that never even played together all season, like Holiday, Ali, Smith, Olesinski, and Goloman all at once.  This of course came after someone donated $6.5 million to the UCLA basketball program.  For $6.5 million you would think the donor would just spend the money on a much improved coach for the men’s team. The gift came from the Price family, and now Alford’s title is “The Michael Price Family UCLA Head Basketball Coach.”  Who wouldn’t donate even more money if they knew they could own the rights to Steve Alford?

Last week was the always overhyped College Football National Signing Day.  For some reason USC felt the need to extend Clay Helton’s contract, just to show a stronger commitment to their recruits.  Clearly, the Trojans care a lot more about these overhyped recruiting rankings than the actual College Football Playoff rankings, because the extension was totally unnecessary.  Helton looked totally in over his head against Ohio State in the Cotton Bowl, and consistently demonstrated a lack of creativity and imagination on offense.  This is like proposing to your girlfriend, immediately after experiencing the worst sex of your life with her.  Most Trojan fans aren’t going to be happy about this, especially when you consider that recruiting at USC isn’t that difficult for a halfway decent coach.

I’m a huge fan of the Olympic Games, both summer and winter.  When else will you be fascinated watching sports you’ve never even seen before like curling, ski jumping, and slopestyle?  I’m very surprised the Koreans didn’t fire a missile into the stadium to light the Olympic torch to open the games.  For many of these events like skeleton and the super-G, if you don’t die during the actual training do you automatically qualify for the Olympic games?  The biathalon, which includes skiing and shooting has to be the most Nordic event ever.  You would think the US would be a lot better at the shooting portion.  Trying to understand curling is one of my favorite parts of the games.  Looking forward taking this in over the next two weeks.

Finally, another episode of The Bachelor went down last week on ABC, and it was a shocker.  Krystal, the biggest villain in the history of the show was sent home.  There has never been a contestant more ready for a two-on-one date, but after talking a lot of smack, she was totally outsmarted again.  I’m really surprised she didn’t flip a table or chase down Kendall and Arie at the Eiffel Tower when it was over.  I also now realize that they make the show two hours because it takes Krystal an hour just to finish one sentence.  My other favorite part of the episode was the fact Arie said that he was intimidated by Jacqueline’s intelligence.  Oh ok Arie, so you’re saying you prefer to spend your time with stupid people.  Thanks for clarifying.  It’s amazing that Arie was able to get Lauren B to talk on his date with her, even after dropping that bomb about a miscarriage in his previous relationship.  Lauren said no more than 10 words during the whole date.  I do miss Annaliese on the show however, who probably would have claimed she had a fear of corn mazes, burlesque shows, baguettes, and French accents if she were still in it.   I have my doubts the entertainment value of the show is going to be there for the rest of the season with no Krystal or Chelsea, however, any of the remaining 7 women can win it.

 

 

Monday Morning Coffee

February 5, 2018

Congratulations to the Philadelphia Eagles and their fans for winning Super Bowl LII.  By the time you’re reading this the fans probably just finished celebrating by burning their city down and running naked through what’s left of the streets.  Isn’t that how The Walking Dead started?  The Patriots didn’t even punt, Tom Brady threw for over 500 yards and they lost.  I’ve seen better defense played in the XFL.  It couldn’t be any more fitting that the NFL season ended with a game where we still have no idea what a catch is.  Unlike Tom Brady, Nick Foles can catch a pass, and he also played out of his mind.  I’m beginning to think that was Eli Manning wearing a Nick Foles mask all along.  This Super Bowl win was long overdue for a much improved Eagles team, and just goes to show you how quickly you can turn it around.  I’m sure Tom Brady and the Patriots will be fine despite the loss, and you can expect to be rooting against them again this time next year.

I thought the best commercial of the game was Rocket Mortgage.  Keegan Michael-Key is absolutely hilarious.  I thought the dumbest commercial was Dodge, which felt the need to use Martin Luther King’s speech in its ad.  In fact, it probably offended people in the process.  I’d like to know what that marketing meeting was like.  As for the halftime show, Justin Timberlake put on a great show.  Many of you haters are missing the point.  The halftime show isn’t a concert.  It’s an entire entertainment show, and if you weren’t entertained, it’s probably just because you hate JT’s music in general.  You’re also missing the fact that the Super Bowl draws an audience of more than just football fans.  The halftime show caters to them as well.  Either that, or you’re just angry you didn’t get to see Janet Jackson’s nipple again.

I feel terrible for Blake Griffin.  He’s going from living in LA to living in Detroit, just six months after the Clippers begged him to stay and be a Clipper forever.  That has to suck.  On the bright side, he can probably buy the entire city of Detroit given what the Pistons are going to be paying him for the next four years.  This move couldn’t be any more “Clipper-esque”.  I don’t have a problem trading Blake if you think you need to rebuild, but the Clips just became more mediocre.  Not a playoff team, not bad enough to tank, and no exciting young players to build with.  We should expect DeAndre and Lou to be traded in the next week for a packet of Taco Bell hot sauce and a can of Coke.  Also, the idea of the Clippers having a shot at Lebron is like you breaking up with your girlfriend in hopes of having a shot at Jennifer Aniston.  There’s a rumor that Jerry West is working for the Clippers to sabotage them.  They are perfectly capable of sabotaging themselves.

As for the Lakers, with just a few days to go before the trade deadline, they need to be especially careful.  We keep hearing names like Jordan Clarkson, Julius Randle, and Larry Nance Jr. mentioned in trade talks, just to open up salary cap space.  Unless the Lakers know for a fact Lebron James is signing with them, there’s really no point to trading any of those players, even come July.  You have to be careful with players coming off their rookie contracts.  Just ask how the Magic feel about trading Victor Oladipo, or how glad the Wizards are they didn’t trade Bradley Beal.  Randle may be on the verge of becoming a 20-10 player, and Clarkson is a productive young player on a reasonable NBA contract.  I’d like to think the new Laker front office is smarter than to dump these guys for a couple of nickels and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Here’s my new conspiracy theory: The Oklahoma City Thunder don’t even want to re-sign Paul George.  Doing so would put them in repeater tax territory.  The Thunder have the most conservative ownership in the league, and Clay Bennett is a cheapskate.  Eric Pincus wrote a fantastic article for Basketball Insider on this last week, and this theory is further supported by the fact that the Thunder reportedly rejected the Clippers proposal of trading Griffin for George.  Why would they reject that? Blake is under contract for the next 4 years, and they had interest in him last summer.  It’s because they know they would be repeat tax offenders.  If Clay Bennett wouldn’t pay the luxury tax for one of the best young teams in the NBA that just went to the finals a few years ago, no way is he doing it for a team that is going to lose in the 1st or 2nd round of the playoffs.  This is great news for the Lakers.

That was a great basketball game on Saturday afternoon game between UCLA and USC.  Horrible play calling by SC though at the end of the game.  It was almost like Steve Alford was in the huddle drawing up the plays for them.  Bill Walton is a crazy old man who might be doing every broadcast on acid, but the entertainment value he is bringing to the table is second to none.  You can’t hate it.  It’s like listening to Norm McDonald broadcast, but without the impression.  Alford said that the Bruins are a much different team with Aaron Holiday off the court.  Funny because they’d also be an even better team with Alford off the bench.  The Bruins desperately need to beat Arizona and Arizona State and have a deep run in the conference tournament if they hope to be participating in March Madness.

Some large corporations are really benefitting from the new tax laws.  Many are giving employees raises.  United Airlines on the other hand might as well be lighting a stack of cash on fire.  Well that’s just about the same thing as buying naming rights to the LA Coliseum for $69 million.  The Coliseum has been around for nearly 100 years.  Nobody in their right mind is going to start calling the place “The United Airlines Memorial Coliseum”.  I’m sure as part of the deal, the usher’s at the Coliseum will now start dragging fans out of their seats and beating them senselessly before kicking them out of the stadium.

For years I always thought the funniest SNL skit was Celebrity Jeopardy.  For those of you unfamiliar with it, I highly recommend finding it on YouTube.  However, last week Jeopardy had the closest thing you will find to Celebrity Jeopardy on the actual show.  The best part about is was that Alex Trebek was savagely trolling the contestants.  Check it out for yourself…..

Finally, another interesting episode of The Bachelor went down on ABC last Monday.  For those of you wanting to see more age appropriate dates for Arie, you got your wish but we see the problem with it: the dates are totally boring.  That was the case on his date with Chelsea.  I love how the girls could actually see the one-on-one dates from the balcony, and got an up close view with a telescope of Chelsea straddling Arie on a jet ski.  What hotel has a telescope on it’s balcony anyway? Nice little addition by the producers there.  Krystal is definitely the biggest Bachelor super villain of all-time.  I think that keeps her on the show for at least a couple of more weeks, even though Arie is probably done with her.  Everything she’s done has backfired, and she always gets outsmarted by the other girls, yet somehow she is still in the running.  I love her empty threat that she had her stuff packed.  Doesn’t everybody always have their stuff packed on this show?  Bowling dates and cocktail parties in the hotel lobby? I guess the ABC producers blew this season’s budget on hookers and blow to keep their sanity.   Arie must be the first person in history to wear Toms shoes to a swamp.  The gators were definitely laughing at him.

Monday Morning Coffee

January 29, 2018

I know what you’re thinking.  Maybe the Lakers can make a run at the 8th seed.  However, the odds of going a week without hearing about sexual harassment are better than the Lake Show playing in late April.  Still, it would be great to see the team get close to 35 wins, and do wonders for their chances to score a big free agent or two, let alone increase the confidence of all their young players. In the meantime, I’m sure the Lakers are keeping a close eye on what’s going on in Cleveland and Oklahoma City.  The Cavs are total chaos and have resorted to finger pointing at Kevin Love for no reason.  Now it makes sense why Lebron picked Love on his All-Star squad.  Who else will he blame if his team loses? I still think the Cavs will be in the Finals as long as Lebron is on the floor, even if they hate each other.  I also think Lebron doesn’t have any better places to go where he can get paid and win after this season.  Paul George on the other hand, is still looking like a good bet to sign with the Lakers, even though he’s trying to tell people what they want to hear right now in OKC.

Lou Williams got snubbed not only once, but twice from the All-Star game! With all due respect to Damian Lillard, the Clippers would be in the NBA cellar without Lou this season.  The Blazers and Thunder have been consistently inconsistent, and after DeMarcus Cousins got hurt, Williams should have gotten the nod.  I can’t believe what kind of cry babies the NBA is made up of.  I thought this only extended to players whining about officiating but it’s far worse than that.  Lillard cried about his frustration for not being an All-Star days before the results were released.  In the early 2000’s the West was stacked at Power Forward with Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, Chris Webber, and Dirk Nowitzki.  I never heard Karl Malone, Pau Gasol, or Antawn Jamison complain about not being an All-Star at that time.  Stop whining and raise your game! Damn Millenials.

Congratulations to Vladimir Guerrero for being inducted into the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame, and congratulations to the Angels for finally having someone from their franchise inducted into the hall.  It definitely helped the Angels cause that the Expos no longer exist.  It’s also easy to forget that the Halos were in the postseason in five of Guerrero’s six seasons on the team.  Were it not for the annual abuse they took from the Boston Red Sox, he might even have a World Series ring or two to add to his legacy.  Meanwhile, Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens still haven’t been voted in which is just plain stupid.  Apparently the writers know for a fact that Jim Thome and Chipper Jones didn’t take steroids, yet Clemens and Bonds definitely did.  I guess sensibility is not a requirement to be a baseball writer.

As many of you know, I’ve been as critical as anyone of the Dodgers’ front office.  However, one thing I haven’t been critical of is the fact that they have consistently raised ticket prices.  The LA Times always feels the need to write articles about the team raising prices, inducing a reaction from angry fans on their message boards.  Apparently some people, including the LA Times writers, don’t understand the concept of supply and demand.  The Dodgers can raise ticket prices because there’s enough demand for them.  In case nobody noticed, the Dodgers were the best team in the National League last year and they played in the World Series.  People paid $1,000 just to stand in the building for a World Series Game.  If you are going to charge me premium ticket prices, that’s fine, you just better not put a bunch of garbage on the field.  Besides, by now the LA Times should have learned that the garbage that is in some of their columns does not command the prices they are charging their diminishing number of subscribers.

In last week’s edition of Joe Lunardi’s Bracketology from ESPN, UCLA isn’t even in the first four out. They are the next four out of the tournament.  I don’t think the Bruin wins’ over Cal and Stanford did anything to improve this.  That also didn’t do anything to improve the attendance at Pauley Pavilion.  I sure hope the Bruins plan on sweeping Arizona, Arizona State, and making the finals of the Pac 12 Tournament, because that’s their only way of playing in NCAA Tourney this year.  I also love how Steve Alford is suggesting that losing LiAngelo Ball, Cody Riley, and Jalen Hill made it tougher for the Bruins to play on the defensive end.  The only thing that makes it tough for the Bruins to play defense is having Alford as their head coach.  Every UCLA fan needs to be hoping things go bad for the Oklahoma City Thunder, and Billy Donovan becomes available.  That’s the Bruins best hope for a return to respectability.

Vince McMahon has announced that the XFL is coming back!  The league accepts outcasts, criminals, & outlandish behavior. That means the entire roster of the Cincinnati Bengals will be the perfect fit.  The Cleveland Browns also applied to be in the new league, and were rejected. Vince McMahon told them “try the YMCA.”

The NHL has done a lot of stupid things, but one thing they have done right is fix their All-Star game.  It’s a great showcase for the game, and one that is far more competitive than most of the other all-star games.  However, After watching Anze Kopitar and Drew Doughty in the NHL Skills Challenge, I now see why the LA Kings have been struggling to score……

These days, I guess it would be impossible to actually watch an entertaining event like the Grammy’s without getting exposed to some form of politics.  I mean we even got a Hilary Clinton appearance, although it was funny.  I’m waiting for the Donald Trump tweet in response to this any moment now, and it will probably come out by the time you read this edition of Monday Morning Coffee.  I’ve never understood why so many actors, actresses, and musicians are so far left.  It’s like they feel guilty for all the money they make.  As for the music itself, Bruno Mars and Elton John killed it, and that’s as normal as I’ve seen Miley Cyrus look in a long time.  I love the song by Logic, but I feel like it would cause more people to commit suicide than prevent it.

Finally, another episode of The Bachelor went down last week on ABC.  I’ve come to the conclusion that this season has really become about getting over the shock and awe of an older dude trying to make moves on girls who are about 15 years younger than him.  That’s also why a lot of people who watch the show normally have decided to pass on this season.  Nevertheless, there’s still some hilarious characters trying to come out on top.  I love how Krystal felt the need to say she’s flawless and because of that fact she doesn’t want to intimidate people.  It’s like she took that comment straight out of the Lebron James playbook.  Would you rather listed to Krystal’s voice for a full hour, or make out with someone that just drank their own urine? I know it’s a difficult choice, but before you respond remember, urine is only water.  Then there’s Lauren, who told Arie that she wants a relationship with an equal partnership.  Am I the only one that found that strange? I’m pretty sure that was pretty normal in all relationships formed after 1974.  If not you’re a complete scumbag.  Not sure what’s scarier: Bekah only being 22, or the fact that Arie could have ripped off her ear.

Monday Morning Coffee

January 22, 2018

The Lakers are what they are.  A bad team with a few decent young players.  However, a coaching change at this point is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.  I’ve been as critical of Luke Walton as anybody, but he’s young and developing just like his players.  The idea of replacing him with David Fizdale because he has a relationship with Lebron is ridiculous.  Lebron has played for a number of coaches who are as bad at coaching as the Lakers are at free throw shooting.  He’s also been the one to pick most of those coaches, so no reason to think hiring Fizdale is going to lure Lebron to LA. Fizdale has experienced no more NBA success than Walton.  If you think letting free agents pick the coach is a good strategy, then you didn’t watch the last time this movie played, starring Mitch Kupchak and Jim Buss.

Across the hall, the Clippers have actually turned into an interesting story.  First off all, with apologies to Damian Lillard, Lou Williams has earned a spot on the all-star team.  The man is playing out of his mind, and has single-handedly picked the Clippers up by their boot straps and into the 8th seed in the West.  Some players only have the possibility of making an all-star team once in their career, and this is that time for Lou-Will.  Ironically though, he and DeAndre Jordan may not be with the team beyond the trade deadline because the Clipps know they need to get younger.  As for the drama that ensued earlier in the week with the Rockets, the confrontational incident is a reminder that CP3 was just as much of a problem while he was in LA as he was a solution.  If you’re going to be a jerk to your teammates, you better win a lot, and CP hasn’t won nearly enough for people to put up with him.  I also like how the NBA and Paul’s teammates were trying to protection his reputation.  Hello? Wearing a Clipper uniform at any point in your career is embarrassing enough.

To the NFL, where the league is breathing a huge sigh of relief this morning.  Had the Jaguars defeated the Patriots and ended up in the Super Bowl, the ratings would have been lower than the IQ’s of the owners that thought it was a good idea to move the Chargers to LA.  After the first half, I was beginning to think that Bill Belichick was going to ask Bryan Hoyer to cut off his hand and give it to Tom Brady.  I’m also surprised Rob Gronkowski didn’t pass the concussion protocol.  Knowing Gronk they probably asked him to do a keg stand in order to pass, but he failed.  The Pats win and America loses.  The Eagles destroyed the Vikings, and Case Keenum definitely remembered that he was Case Keenum.  Felt like Aaron Rodgers should have taken off the Nick Foles costume.  Everybody is going to be cheering for the Eagles.

UCLA basketball is looking more like a debacle with each game they play.  This time they suffered a pair of road losses to Oregon State followed by Oregon.  The Bruins are now in serious jeopardy of not making the tournament, and Steve Alford looks totally clueless.  Against Colorado, he apparently couldn’t tell that Thomas Welsh had the hot hand, and admitted he should have kept going to him.  They’ve lost three straight, the team looks totally unprepared, and their offense looks more disjointed than the United States government.  The play of Aaron Holiday is so symbolic of Alford.  Very good player with lots of talent, but can’t take his game to that next level when he’s plagued by bonehead plays and constant turnovers.  That lack of development for a teenager falls at the feet of Alford, who might as well be rolling the ball out at practice and letting the players try and figure it out on their own.  On the bright side, Bill Walton can tell you all about mushrooms.  Not surprising at all.

The Dodgers long-term strategy is very confusing.  They are clearly determined not to spend anymore money this offseason, despite the fact the value of guys like Yu Darvish is sinking faster than Bitcoin.  Aside from getting under the luxury tax and staying within the MLB debt rules, Andrew Friedman essentially indicated the team is going to pursue some big names next offseason.  However, this has never been Friedman’s style, so why would I believe him now? Friedman has never even spent $100 million on one contract.  He’s always gone after cost-controlled relievers, he’s never liked giving any player big money into their late 30’s, and you really think he would spend $400 million on a Bryce Harper, Manny Muchado, or even re-sign Clayton Kershaw? This feels like a public bamboozling, when in reality, the Dodgers just don’t plan to spend much money at all in the years to come.  That’s pretty upsetting for the fans who are getting stuck with higher ticket prices for a team that’s on the verge of a World Series title.

The NHL owners are downright foolish.  They have absolutely no idea how to market their sport and grow it, and not sending their players to the Olympics is a perfect example.  The owners didn’t want to have a 17-day shutdown of the NHL schedule during a time when the NFL and college football was over.  The problem with that rationale is that the NHL will be competing with the Winter Olympics for television ratings.  Would you rather watch some meaningless regular season hockey in February, or watch hockey played for a prize that is awarded every four years? The answer seems pretty obvious to me, especially considering the NHL players would love to participate.

Finally, another episode of the The Bachelor went down last week on ABC.  How could they do my girl Bibiana like that? I thought she would have lasted at least a few more weeks, but they might as well start welcoming her to Bachelor in Paradise.  What’s with Arie’s attraction to that woman who looks like a Lesbian?  The way things are going, Annaleise is going to have a traumatic experience in a garden one year from now and no longer be able to accept roses from a guy.  If you are afraid of bumper cars and dogs, it makes total sense to go after a husband who is a race car driver, right?  It’s hard to tell if the girls are more upset with Lauren S leaving, or the fact that Krystal is talking.

Monday Morning Coffee

January 15, 2018

NBA executives have lost their minds.  Lavar Ball ran his mouth saying nobody wants to play for Luke Walton.  Just because the Lakers didn’t make some statement supporting Walton, they think he’s going to get fired.  The Lakers don’t make statements supporting their coaches when I rip them on Jock Talk LA, or when some guy at the barber shop talks badly about them.  Lavar Ball is entertaining, but his opinions carry no more weight than mine or barber shop guy, so no need for the statement.  In fact, they are handling it well by not even addressing it.  By the way, the Lakers have won 4 in a row and are finally beating crummy teams they were losing to before.

Meanwhile, there’s actually quite shocking news related to the Clippers.  They recently talked to Minnesota about a Blake Griffin for Karl-Anthony Towns trade.  Forget the fact the Timberwolves would never do that deal.  The story is that the Clipps are actually ready to move on from Blake.  This guy has been the face of the franchise for the last 7 years, but it’s clear they are not looking to rebuild around him, but rather just blow it up.  A Blake trade will probably come later, but the DeAndre Jordan trade looks like it could be coming before February’s trade deadline.

To the NFL where it was a wild divisional round weekend.  Marcus Williams was trying to tackle Manti Te’o’s girlfriend on that last play in the Saints-Vikings game.  That was a great game with an unbelievable finish.  Sean Payton will probably get up this morning and throw a challenge flag disputing the fact the sun actually rose.  Steeler fans better put some chloroform on those terrible towels to knock themselves out.  So much for that Patriots re-match they were talking about all week.     The Falcons loss capped a rough week for football fans in the state of Georgia.  Marcus Mariotta needed to throw a lot more touchdown passes to himself if he was going to beat the Patriots.  Can’t wait for the Nick Foles vs Case Keenum battle next week in the “Jeff Fisher Can’t Hurt Us Anymore Bowl”.

The Chargers will apparently be playing in London next season.  Great! Maybe the NFL will consider leaving them there after the game! The Chargers may have had an improved ending to their season, but their ownership is clueless, and so are the other NFL owners that thought it was a good idea to put two teams in LA.  I give it five years before they pack up and move back down the freeway,

I don’t know what was more disappointing this weekend.  Reading about Dan Guerrero’s interview with the LA Times, or seeing UCLA basketball lose at home to Colorado.  Guerrero found a way to say a whole lot without actually saying anything.  He also claimed that the expectations at UCLA are to win national championships.  If that’s the case, I’m not sure why the follow up question to that wasn’t “well then why is Steve Alford still coaching the basketball team then?”  Then Alford’s team takes the floor and looks completely unprepared to play against Colorado.  No defense, no offensive flow, and it doesn’t look like the players are even developing.  UCLA is hardly even a lock to make the tournament right now.  Remember when everyone said the Bruins were going to be even better this year? Apparently not.

Yu Darvish reminds me of a woman who thinks she’s super hot and over exaggerates the level of interest a handful of guys have in her.  Darvish tweeted five teams are interested in him: the Yankees, the Astros, the Rangers, the Twins, and the Cubs.  Except the Yankees pulled their offer for him after 48 hours, the Astros made a trade for Gerrit Cole, the Cubs can bring back Jake Arrieta for less, and the Rangers don’t seem to want to spend.  Meanwhile the Twins are ready to show him the money, but it’s clear he has no interest in going there.  I won’t be surprised if he takes a 1-year deal somewhere with a “mystery team”.  Hopefully that mystery team isn’t the Dodgers.

Finally, we’re headed for episode 3 of The Bachelor on ABC tonight.  However, episode 2 was bizarre.  It felt like we were watching episode 8 of the season given that Arie basically had a hometown date.  Best line on the show: “I’m not sad about leaving you I’m sad about leaving all my new friends.”  Krystal’s smile and laugh are already giving me a headache.  Why doesn’t anybody ever eat their food on these dates?  Bibiana is tailor made for Bachelor in Paradise.  I get that she’s playing the role of the “hot tempered Latina”, but ABC doesn’t need to top if off with the Mariachi music they play when she’s on screen.  Becca clearly went on the best date in the show’s history because she got to keep all that designer gear.  If she was smart thought she’d sell it  for a nice chunk of change.  Annalise’s bumper car trauma is the whitest thing I’ve ever heard.  “Bumper Car Trauma” is going to be my new excuse for everything.  Here’s a reenactment of her trauma.

 

 

 

 

Monday Morning Coffee

January 8, 2018

The fans finally showed up to the Coliseum on Saturday.  Unfortunately, the Rams didn’t, as they got upset by the Falcons in the opening round of the playoffs.  At least the fans got to see Snoop Dog perform.  Snoop must have smoked out with some of the players before the game, because the Rams’ offense looked pretty stoned.  Sean McVay, Jared Goff, and Todd Gurley had no playoff experience, and they all played and coached like it.  The Falcons looked like that old guy at the YMCA you think you can destroy with your youth, yet you get dismantled by his savvy smooth moves.  This is why you shouldn’t rest your starters in the last game of the season  I’ve gotta give the team credit for a great year, but you can’t deny the disappointment.  They had a chance to capture the fans, but now nobody will show up until they get to the playoffs again.  I’d say the future is bright, but you never really know in the NFL from year-to-year, so they might have blown an opportunity even bigger than you think.

Elsewhere around Wild Card Weekend, the Saints won but they were lucky.  Sean Payton got away with some stupid play-calling, like a sugared up 16-year old playing Madden 18.  For a second I thought Doc Rivers was coaching the Saints.  That Bills vs Jags game set NFL Football back about 20 years.  That game film should be used to torture POW’s.  The Chiefs blew a 21-3 lead and lost to the Titans.  This explains a lot though…….

To the NBA, where Lavar Ball has done it again running his mouth.  Looks like that talk Magic and Pelinka had with Lavar really set him straight a couple of weeks ago.  Nice job guys.  Now Lavar is claiming that Luke Walton should be fired, the players have tuned him out, and of course that Lonzo isn’t being coached properly.  There’s no question that some of Walton’s decision making can be questioned, but the fact Lavar is being given a platform for this is insane, and the Lakers are only enabling him to do so.  Walton shouldn’t be fired, but its clear that at the moment the team isn’t responding to whatever he is preaching.  If the Laker front office wasn’t screaming from the mountain top that they plan on getting rid of everybody and signing free agents, Walton’s job would be a lot easier.  That parts not his fault.  By the way, the Lavar Ball 30 for 30 is going to be amazing.

Blake Griffin just can’t catch a break.  He’s injured again after taking an elbow to his grill in Saturday’s loss to the Warriors.  If the league really cared about Blake’s well being, they would keep him in the concussion protocol until he stopped dating Kendall Jenner.  As if the guy doesn’t have enough problems dealing with the Clipper Curse, so now he has to deal with a Kardashian one too?  Sources say the Clippers would consider parting with DeAndre Jordan if the Cavs would throw in the Nets draft pick in a deal.  We’re reaching the point where the Clippers should part ways with Blake Griffin before he becomes labeled as “damaged goods”.

Some of the things that Andrew Friedman does make absolutely no sense.  Friedman seems committed to acquiring cheap relievers to fortify the Dodger bullpen every year, and not overpay for relievers that may have overachieved in one particular year.  That’s fine, but why is Pedro Baez still on this team after four years of playoff failures? Why is Friedman so obsessed with this guy? He was so bad last year that he wasn’t even usable in the postseason.  Sounds like his super computer has a virus.

The longer a pitcher like Yu Darvish remains unsigned, the more likely it is he goes for a much lower price than he is asking for.  That means a team like the Angels could still swoop in and sign him.  The Halos could easily sign Darvish to a contract paying him $20 million per year, while remaining below the luxury tax threshold.  The Halos need to spend money now, because everybody will have money next season.  They also need more pitching, and Darvish doesn’t have to be a #1 for them, but just a solid piece of the rotation.  He’ll also fit in perfectly with the other Angel pitchers because he’s had Tommy John’s surgery.

How does UCLA basketball manage to go into Kentucky and take care of the #7 team in the country, yet blows it against lowly Stanford? Oh that’s right, it’s because they are coached by Steve Alford.  Alford is probably teaching his team the fundamentals of defense by showing them YouTube video of James Harden.  The worst part is for as great of an offensive coach as Alford is supposed to be, the team isn’t even exciting to watch! Gone is the buzz of Bruin basketball.

Finally, what the hell was ABC thinking? They air the season premier of The Bachelor on New Years Day, competing with the College Football Playoff.  The show’s ratings suffered, and you can be sure they will suffer tonight when the show competes with the National Championship.  I guess you can eliminate anybody in the south from watching the show.  ABC is also bringing in Arie Luyendyk as the Bachelor, five seasons removed from being on the show.  I actually like this move because he’s past the reality show life and car racing, which makes him an even better character.  The first women that said “I grew up around cars” to impress him had to have meant that she grew up in a house where her mom and dad owned two cars.  Tia, who is from Weiner, Arkansas, is a clone of Raven from the last couple of seasons.  It’s like the show has to fill a quota of Arkansas contestants.  Those girls that got sent home after the 1st show and didn’t even get time with Arie deserve to get sent home, and I don’t care if they are crying a river.  It’s a competition ladies, so compete!

 

Monday Morning Coffee

January 1, 2018

Could the Lakers be any more disappointing?  They are clearly a lottery team once again, and this time they don’t have a lottery pick.  They may have stabilized their front office, but on the court they are still as shaky as Donald Trump’s approval rating.  They never show up to play against teams they should beat, they play too much isolation ball, and Julius Randle doesn’t play nearly enough minutes.  If they’ve given up on trading Luol Deng as reports suggest, why don’t they just waive him or play him instead of leaving him in limbo? I also don’t understand why Luke Walton won’t play Ivica Zubac, rather than Andrew Bogut and Brook Lopez, who won’t be with the team next year.  This is a total disaster, and it’s a locker room that’s going to get further splintered in the coming weeks.  The only way to turn this thing around is to get free agents to come here, but why would they? This feels like the same movie that starred Mitch Kupchak and Jim Buss, only with a new cast of characters.

Meanwhile, the Clippers got Blake Griffin back in the lineup on Friday, and Doc Rivers probably thinks they can win an NBA Championship.  This is really the worst thing to happen to the Clippers since they decided to change their uniforms into those ugly pajamas.  The Clips are just delaying the inevitable rebuild.  They need to trade DeAndre, Blake, and the disaster that is Danilo Gallnari.  They’ll be locked in NBA purgatory until they do.

To College Football where the Trojans got blown off the field against Ohio State in the Cotton Bowl.  USC looked so bad, Sam Darnold might have been playing bad purposely so the Browns don’t draft him.  It was typical Sam.  Make a handful of highlight throws that the scouts will drool over, then serve up a handful of turnovers like Betty Crocker.  However, the real problem the Trojan faithful can point to is Clay Helton.  Once again, against a nationally elite opponent, USC looked like they had no business being on the field, and completely unprepared.  The Trojans got beat badly on the line of scrimmage, and the play calling was completely unimaginative.  Darnold would be foolish to come back to school with Helton there, but if USC is serious about having a legitimate national powerhouse, they will find themselves an elite coach.

The Bruins didn’t fare much better in their bowl game against Kansas State, but it was hard to expect them to since Josh Rosen was sidelined with an injury.  The real story here is Rosen suggesting that he would return to school just so he won’t get drafted by the Browns.  Let’s be honest Josh, we all know you aren’t stupid enough to turn down $20 million in guaranteed money just to avoid Cleveland.  If he’s dumb enough to do that, then it’s clear he didn’t get any education at UCLA.  The Bruins and every other team in the Pac-12 didn’t exactly make the conference look good this bowl season…..

Sean McVay and the Rams almost pulled it off.  By losing yesterday, they nearly took the #4 seed, setting themselves up for a showdown with a wounded Philadelphia team.  Instead, they’ll have to go through Atlanta, and then Minnesota if they advance.  The road is going to be tough, but I really like the Rams chances to make it out of the NFC.  Their offense is as good as anyones, and their defense has the ability come up with big plays.  As long as McVay doesn’t take the boys to Catch LA the night before and overload on sushi and saki, I fully expect the Rams to take care of business against the Falcons next week.  I also fully expect the Coliseum to actually have fans in it for at least one week.

As for the Chargers, maybe next year they will remember that the season starts in September, rather than October.  The Bolts 0-4 start killed them, and despite yesterday’s big win against the Raiders, they didn’t get the help they needed from other teams to sneak into the postseason.  Sure we’re going to hear for the next 6 months how the Bolts are building momentum for next year.  However, the Raiders are talented and about to bring back Jon Gruden.  The Chiefs are oozing with talent and aren’t going anywhere.  The Chargers still can’t be trusted to win close games, and I’m not so sure that changes in the Philip Rivers’ era.  I’m also not so sure they last five years in LA with the lack of support they are getting.

Wow, that Ravens season disappeared quicker than Ray Lewis’ bloody white glove.  Watching Joe Flacco play football is like some form or cruel and unusual punishment.  Andy Dalton really is an expert at taking teams out of the playoffs: his own and other teams.  I guess that was the closest Marvin Lewis will come to winning a playoff game.  It was so cold in New England yesterday, the football were naturally deflated.  I’d like to congratulate the Browns on fulfilling my hopes and dreams and finishing the season a perfect 0-16.  Cheer up Cleveland, you still have another beating to look forward to from the Warriors in the NBA Finals.

 

 

 

 

Monday Morning Coffee

December 25, 2017

The Lakers better be damn sure that Paul George and either DeMarcus Cousins or Lebron James are going to be playing here next year.  Otherwise, they are going to look like fools when they trade Jordan Clarkson and Julius Randle for some egg on their face.  Clarkson is a candidate for the NBA’s sixth man of the year.  Randle could be on the verge of being a 20-10 player if Luke Walton came to his senses and didn’t chain him to the bench.  The problem with the Lakers being so transparent about their plan to add two max free agents is that players feel alienated from the organization, and they put up lousy efforts like they did on Saturday night.  That includes KCP, and you’ve gotta love that he’s playing games this month with an ankle monitor and going back to jail when they are over.  I wonder if the guy jumps in an Uber Black on the way back to the slammer every night.  Do you think they let him stop for some In-N-Out along the way?

It was great to see Kobe get both of his jerseys retired last week at Staples.  You could say that retiring two jerseys is over the top, and so was the entire celebration on “Kobe Night”.  However, that’s what made Kobe who he is.  He practiced too much.  He shot too much.  He played too many minutes which got him hurt at the end.  However, that’s what made him the legend that he was.  That’s also what brought tons of fans and legends out on Monday night to honor him.  It’s his blessing and his curse, but it’s also why he is loved and respected by so many.  I also loved Kobe’s film regarding the big man, and the need for big guys to both shoot and defend the 3-pointer.  If they don’t they will become extinct.  The whole video is clips of Porzingas, KAT, AD, and Embiid.  I guess if you aren’t one of these big men, your position is already extinct.

Danilo Gallinari tore a muscle in his ass and will be out indefinitely.  Only a player playing for the Los Angeles Clippers could tear his ass.  The other day at work my boss said it wasn’t ok for employees to bring their kids to work around the holidays because it was unprofessional.  When will Steve Ballmer tell Doc Rivers to stop bringing his kid to work because it’s unprofessional?

The Dodgers have an $8.5 billion television contract.  They are laughing all the way to the bank, while most people can’t even see their games.  Now they are raising ticket prices on their fans.  I get that this is a business, but the Dodgers sure don’t know how to play the PR game very well.  They make it sound like they are saving money for the big free agent class of 2018, yet they have an extreme aversion to paying the luxury tax this year.  Which is it? I guess we’ll find out a year from now.

Is there anything more UCLA than seeing them beat Kentucky on the road? I’m telling you and I’ve been saying it for years: Steve Alford is Steve Lavin reincarnated.  The Bruins show up against great teams every now and again because they have talent, but that talent will forever be undeveloped and without structure.  That means they will never be elite, and they’ll often get punked by scrub teams like they have been in the past.  This team is ticketed for another early round exit in the NCAA Tournament after the committee does them a favor and lets them in.

Remember when USC was a preseason top 10 basketball team? Oh that’s right, you probably don’t because you forgot that the Trojans actually had a men’s basketball team.  Well they were, but they aren’t even in the Top 25 anymore.  USC is losing basketball games to nerds from Princeton, and they have assistant coaches that are headed to the slammer for corruption.  So much for the idea that UCLA and USC basketball could distract us from the dumpster fires that are the Lakers and Clippers.

The Rams won the Jeff Fisher Bowl yesterday by beating the Titans.  You would have thought two teams that were coached by Fisher would battle to tie.  However, this team won’t stop winning, and it’s unbelievable.  Four months ago I would have thought they had a better chance to be one of the worst teams in football this year, and that Jared Goff would be benched.  Instead, they are division champs, and one of the most underrated teams in the NFL.  Todd Gurley single handedly tormented the Titans and fantasy teams around the nation yesterday.  Here’s to hoping the Rams get the support they deserve at the Coliseum when they host a playoff game in two weeks.  Meanwhile, Jeff Fisher is basically saying he deserves credit for leaving the Rams in a good position to win after last year’s coaching debacle.  Fisher deserves about as much credit as I do, just for turning on the TV and watching the Rams every Sunday.

The Chargers are still alive too! They should send some Christmas cookies across town to the Rams after they beat the Titans.  In order for the Bolts to make the postseason, all they need is to beat the Raiders, have the Jags beat the Titans, the Ravens beat the Bengals, the weather to be 79 degrees with a 10% chance of rain, and the sun to rise in the west.  Are you paying attention? There will be a quiz on all this.  The Bolts blew it last week against the Chiefs.  It’s games like that which will eventually prevent Philip Rivers from getting in the Hall of Fame.  Rivers is a quarterback who is going to finish his career with big numbers but no postseason success.  This was a chance to position himself for that success, but he came up short when it mattered.  That’s all too familiar for this Charger team.

Do you realize how much of a genius Bill Belichick is? He traded Jimmy G to the 49ers so they could beat the Jags, allowing the Pats to clinch a first round bye.  Since Carson Wentz tore his ACL, he’s actually thrown more touchdown passes and fewer interceptions than Dak Prescott.  That explains why the Cowboys were eliminated by the Seahawks yesterday.  Now that the Browns have clinched the top pick, just about every NFL prospect in college has declared they are going back to school.  Jameis Wintson is going to beat eating crab legs watching the playoffs at home this year.  Does anybody know what a catch is anymore?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday Morning Coffee

December 18, 2017

Are there Louis Vuitton stores in Lithuania?  Maybe that’s why LiAngelo’s lunatic father is sending him and his brother to play there.  I’m no fan of the NCAA and their archaic rules, but pulling your son out of high school and college when they are on scholarship is stupid, especially when their odds of being a professional basketball player are about the odds of winning the Powerball.  These kids won’t even get the playing time they need to develop their games.  They will be playing against grown men that know how to play structured basketball.  They don’t.  Neither LaMelo or LiAngelo have been taking classes lately, but they are about to get a course in culture shock.

Lebron is such a drama queen.  If you want to give Lonzo some advice, why not do it in private where the whole world can’t actually speculate on what you said? Lebron probably asked Lonzo if he could have his hairline, but I’m sure Lonzo would only agree to that if Lebron would be his new dad.  The problem is Lebron would never agree to that with a jumpshot that looks as bad as Lonzo’s.

The Lakers actually called a meeting with Lavar and told him to not be so negative? This actually happened? What happened to not caring about what any players parents think, as Luke Walton explained last week?   It’s totally embarrassing that Magic Johnson and Rob Pelinka don’t have better things to do with their time than meet with Lavar Ball.  Hopefully they bought him a one-way ticket to Lithuania and gave it to him during the meeting.

Gallinari must be the Italian word for “always hurt”.  Danilo comes back and five minutes later he’s injured again.  The Clippers hitched their wagon to a bunch of guys that are made out of glass.  When is Doc Rivers going to go on the injured list? The man clearly needs his head examined since he thinks he’s coaching a playoff team.

Horrible game on Saturday by the UCLA basketball team.  UCLA fans haven’t been this embarrassed since Steve Alford was named their head coach.  This team has no offensive structure, no depth, and it’s clear they are lacking player development.  Wasn’t UCLA supposed to be even better this year? I guess not.  The teams’ offense depends on three guards who can’t handle the ball or make good decisions.  It’s also dependent on big men standing beyond the three point line and shooting bricks.  They will get their heads handed to them come Pac 12 play.

To baseball, where the Dodgers finally made a big move this winter.  By big move, I mean they traded one pile of garbage for another to get under the luxury tax.  They also managed to piss off the Mexican community in LA by trading Adrian Gonzales.   I do hope that Matt Kemp does get a shot to stick with the Dodgers this year though, because he did love being a Dodger when he was here.  That’s probably unlikely though.  This move is supposedly all about the 2018 free agent class. Andrew Friedman said “I hadn’t noticed.  Is there a big free agent class next winter?” Why don’t you ask your super computer Andrew, since you rely on it to make every decision for you.  The Dodgers are saving all this money when they have plenty of it to spend, and it’s never been Friedman’s style to give out contracts more than $100 million and longer than five years.  You really think he’s going to go pay Bryce Harper $400 million? I doubt it.

The Angels say that Shohei Ohtani’s elbow issue “looks standard.”  Yup, it makes perfect sense why the Halos signed him.  His elbow looks as standard as all the other pitchers on their staff that needed their arms replaced.  The Angels are making some big splashes with the addition of Ohtani, Ian Kinsler, and Zack Cozart.  This isn’t the most ideal way to build a team, with a bunch of guys on the wrong side of 30, however, hopefully it will buy them some time to develop a decent farm system by the time Mike Trout is a free agent.

Stay positive Seattle. You still have lots of rain to look forward to.  The Rams should be arrested for assault and battery after what they did to the Seahawks yesterday.  The Rams are a serious threat to come out of the NFC and make it to the Super Bowl.  I feels insane saying that after thinking about where this team was just six months ago.  However, it’s true.  Nick Foles may be a competent quarterback, but he’s no Carson Wentz, so the Eagles are vulnerable.  The Vikings are good, but if the Rams played them again, they could hang.  They’ll have to play some tough road games next month, but the road isn’t a problem for this team.

After the Chargers lost to the Chiefs, they began writing their Christmas list for Santa.  The list included: Someone for Philip Rivers to throw to besides Keenan Allen and Marcus Peters.  More games against Nathan Peterman.  A logo the internet won’t make fun of.  People to stop calling them “San Diego”.  And finally, some fans that actually want to go to their games and cheer them on.

Elsewhere around week 15, the Raiders’ new motto should be “if we don’t beat you on the field, we’ll just stab you in the parking lot.”  After getting screwed on a couple of calls, that’s probably how most Raider fans felt.  I guess the referees are now measuring first downs with the help of index cards.    Marvin Lewis is leaving the Bengals after 15 seasons.  He leaves behind an amazing legacy of hiring criminals and zero playoff wins.  Jerry Richardson is selling the Panthers.  Hopefully he’s also selling all of Cam Newton’s post game clothing too.