Monday Morning Coffee

April 16, 2018

The LA Kings left Las Vegas like most of us usually do: as big losers.  That trend unfortunately continued last night Staples, and the Kings are on the verge of elimination.  I’m glad the Kings still have their defensive identity, but you can’t win unless you score.  I mean you can tie, but you can’t win.  Has anybody informed the Kings of this? They have 3 goal in 11 periods.  You also can’t win without your top 2 defenseman, and the Kings played much of this series without them.  The Kings just can’t regain the Stanley Cup magic of a few years ago, and faster teams like Vegas have eclipsed their rugged style.   The Ducks are having the same problems as well against the Sharks.  You can’t win without your best defenseman in the lineup come playoff time.  At least this year the Ducks don’t have to worry about getting embarrassed at home in game 7.  It will come much earlier than that on the road.

The Lakers finished the season with 35 wins.  If you had told me that back in October, I would have said they should throw a parade down Figueroa if that happens.  It’s nice progress, however, I got a good laugh hearing Magic say that they really don’t have sign anybody this coming offseason to feel good about the direction of the franchise.  Listen Magic man… and I both know that you and your boy Pelinka didn’t put your multi-million dollar businesses on the back burner and dump our young talent to sign anybody other than King James.  Don’t try to sell me on how great Andre Ingram is going to fit in next year after 10 years in the G-League.  It’s Lebron and Paul George or bust.  Yes the young talent we have is developing, but it was doing that before you got here anyway.  Get it done Magic!  Unfortunately though, the only playoffs the Lakers will be experiencing this season will be while playing PlayStation.

Meanwhile, the Clippers have some major decisions to make regarding both Doc Rivers and DeAndre Jordan.  I cannot understand why either of these two want to stay with the Clippers, or why the Clippers would want either one of them.  Not only do the Clippers need to rebuild, but they need a complete culture cleansing.  Rivers and DJ are big parts of a previous culture that needs to be overturned.  Rivers has brought more drama than a high school girl to this franchise, and DJ is a nice player in a league where centers are becoming extinct.  David Aldridge reported that Rivers is “probably” coming back, but that report is vague and unconvincing, especially considering that Doc sounded far from sure he even wanted to return.

Elsewhere around the Association, it’s playoff time and the Cavs look like a bigger disaster than Tristan Thompson’s love life.  If Lebron ends up leaving Cleveland, that city will instantly eclipse Detroit as the worst city in America.  Good strategy by the Blazers in game 1.  Down by 3 at the end of the game, rather than going to Damian Lillard or CJ McCollum, the Blazers went to…..Pat Connaughton.  The Spurs got spanked by the Warriors, and Greg Popovich says we should ask Kawhi’s group if he’s coming back.  That sounds like a really healthy relationship.  Then there’s Nick Young who showed up to game 1 like he was headed to the Playboy Mansion.

To baseball where the Dodgers can’t seem to do much right so far.  Despite the win yesterday, they are in last place in the NL West.  Corey Seager, Chris Taylor, and Yasiel Puig are all hitting .230 or less.  Half their infield is injured, and so is their most promising prospect, Andrew Toles.  Even when the offense does have its act together, the pitching falls apart.  Rich Hill and Alex Wood got knocked around like bowling pins last week, and the bullpen is made up of a bunch of dudes throwing batting practice.  If Fraudy Friedman thought that this bullpen would be better than last year, he must be doing more drugs than the kids at Coachella did this weekend.  I realize that it’s early, but this team looks a lot more vulnerable this season.

Then there’s the Angels, who are off to their best start since 1979.  They are so hot, the only thing that can stop them right now is a snow storm, which cancelled yesterday’s game.  The story is Shohei Ohtani, who has caught fire at the plate and on the mound.  For those of you who say that there will definitely be regression to the mean, that may be partially true but ask yourself this: who was the last hyped Japanese player that came over and was a total bust? Ichiro, Masahiro Tanaka, Hideo Nomo, Hideki Matsui.  Hiroki Kuroda, Yu Darvish? Ok never mind but you get the point.  There really haven’t been any total disappointments when they’ve had hype.  No reason to think Ohtani won’t be a superstar.  The Halos are playing great and Ohtani is making them exciting to watch.

On to the Season Finale of The Walking Dead, so spoiler alert if you have yet to see it and plan on watching it later.  I think we’re all thinking the same thing: Did Lucille survive the war? Well we know that Negan did which was just messed up.  Rick thinks Negan should live to honor Carl, but I guess what happened to Glenn and Abraham doesn’t matter anymore?  It’s bad enough that they let all the Savior people live after all the screwed up things they did.  They all live and Dwight gets exiled after helping them? This show has a bizarre idea of justice and righteousness. I like how 5 minutes earlier Jesus told Morgan not to kill, then suddenly he’s Council of “Pissed Off At Grimes”.   I was thinking Maggie can go back to being 72 months pregnant now that the war is over.  She’s going to have a longer pregnancy than Bonnie Swanson from Family Guy.  Except now she and Daryl want to start a Civil War.  If these two become the primary villains nest season, it’s just ridiculous.  Most guys have to pay the extra $20 to get choked in bed, but not Negan.  Eugene is back in our good graces, but he’s still a coward and an idiot.  Finally, sticking Morgan in Fear The Walking Dead isn’t making me any more excited about it.  I do love though how he survived for 8 seasons with hardly a scratch and 15 minutes into episode 1 of Fear, he manages to get shot in the leg.  I’m ready for a fresh storyline in The Walking Dead come the fall.


Monday Morning Coffee

April 9, 2018

The Dodgers may have won yesterday, but they are off to a horrendous start and there’s much blame to go around.  A good portion of that blame pie should be allotted to Kenley Jansen, who’s been terrible.  I’m also really glad to hear that he doesn’t care, when he was asked about his pathetic performance last week.  Kenley said “who cares?”.  I’m sure the fans that pay his $80 million contract will care, especially the ones that are shelling out $200 to see him blow games for the boys in blue.  Jansen looks like a shell of his former shelf, and much of that can be attributed to lack of preparation.  Maybe next year he won’t spend spring training slamming fried chicken, throwing footballs, and playing video games in the clubhouse.  As if that’s not bad enough, the offense looks like a bunch of little leaguers at the plate.  It’s been all black and blue for the blue crew thus far.

Meanwhile, it’s “Sho Time” in Anaheim.  Shohei Ohtani is hotter than a chunk of wasabi on your rainbow roll right now.  He was brilliant on the mound yesterday, he’s hit homers in three straight games, and he’s making the Halos must-see TV.  He’s been so exciting I nearly forgot that Mike Trout, who’s been one of the best players of all-time, is on the team.  The Angels have some issues to work through with their pitching and bullpen, but Ohtani and Trout might be able to cover up much of that.  In other words, the Angels have modern day Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle playing for them.  If there’s one guy that has to be just giddy about all of this though, it’s Arte Moreno, who only seems to care about selling tickets rather than winning games.  Ohtani might just be the phenom to get him what he wants.

I guess the Lakers are simulating out the rest of the season like they would if they were playing NBA 2K on Playstation.  Since they’ve been bombed with injuries, the effort and engagement the last couple of weeks hasn’t exactly been there.  Nevertheless, even if they don’t win another game, this season represents very nice progress and development from where the franchise was.  They also have to be thrilled at the struggles Oklahoma City is going through. They will barely get into the playoffs, and Paul George claims that the team’s finish to the season won’t impact his free agency decision.  That’s funny because he said it would matter when he first joined the team last summer.  What he really means is that it won’t matter because he already knows he’s going to sign with the Lakers in July.  The only question is if somebody else is going to sign in LA with him.

Hopefully Brandin Cooks has woken up from his coma so someone can let him know he’s been traded to the Rams.  In just a matter of months, the Rams have gone from the cute girl next door to to a chick with lots of plastic surgery done.  Having Odell Beckham Jr. on the team would have been exciting, but Cooks is a much better fit.  OBJ would have demanded about 40-50% of the offense going through him.  Cooks won’t demand nearly as much, and he will provide them with the deep threat that will continue to lift coverage in the middle of the field.  He’ll also be a lot less expensive.  At this point, anything less than an NFC Championship Game appearance will be a colossal disappointment.

The UCLA basketball team has a recruiting class coming in next year that is top 5 in the nation.  ESPN came out with an early look at the Top 25 teams.  The Bruins weren’t even on that list.  How is that possible? It’s possible because of coaching, and it tells you just how terrible of a coach ESPN thinks Steve Alford is.  Vegas has the Bruins listed at 12-1 odds to win the tournament next year.  That feels like a courtesy number because the odds of winning the Powerball are better than UCLA winning anything when you are coached by Steve Alford.  I’d really like to know the odds of Alford continuing to be the Bruins’ coach after next season, because they can’t be good.

The Masters wasn’t exactly what we all hoped for.  I think we should probably put the brakes on this Tiger Woods comeback train and keep it in perspective.  Tiger Woods played more like Nathalie Wood over the weekend, struggling just to make the cut at one point.  However, the fact that Tiger is even healthy enough to compete almost every week is something we should be happy about because we can enjoy watching him play.  He may not get back to the dominance he once had, but playing a couple of rounds at par at Augusta can actually be seen as progress.  If he stays healthy and continues to progress, he can still grab a major or two, and even win some tournaments.  In the meantime, just enjoy the fact he’s out there because you don’t get to watch the great ones forever.

It’s NHL Stanley Cup Playoff time and the Kings and Ducks are both in the postseason.  Had the Kings won on Saturday night they would have actually played the Ducks.  Instead they’ll play the surprising Vegas Golden Knights.  On Saturday night, the Kings played so poorly, it felt like they had comps at the Bellagio that expired at the end of this week.  Either that or they really want to play Vegas, and it’s felt that way for a month.  I’m not really sure why because they are fast, young, and relentless.  The Kings are also banged up on defense.  It’s probably a long series, but the edge goes to the Knights.  Meanwhile, the Ducks and Sharks are probably in for a long series.  However, the Sharks got the better of the Ducks during the season, and they are slightly healthier going into the postseason than Anaheim.  I like San Jose in seven games.

Finally, a new episode of The Walking Dead went down last night on AMC.  Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it so read no further if you plan on watching it later.  Just when you thought you couldn’t hate Eugene anymore, he pukes all over Rosita.  Carl must be rolling over in his grave  wondering why Rick and Negan won’t listen to him.  There were so many double crossings, this episode was giving me heart palpitations.  Aaron clearly needed  Eugene’s mac and cheese.  The Negan vs Simon showdown wasn’t much of a showdown.  It was about as competitive as the 1st round of the NBA Playoffs will be.  Simon makes a great walker though.  Dwight is definitely screwed now.  I’m looking forward to seeing the season finale next week, and this two season war finally coming to an end!



Monday Morning Coffee

April 2, 2018

The Dodgers managed to salvage a split from the Giants over the weekend, but their offense was pathetic for half the series.  It was like I was watching games 8-11 of the World Series.  I could swear I saw Dave Roberts ask the ump for the ball after the Dodgers finally got on the scoreboard yesterday.  Good thing the Giants offense is total garbage.  When is Andrew Friedman’s computer going to notify him that Andrew Toles needs to be brought up and Joc Pederson needs to be sent to the minors?  That computer must have some kind of a virus.  Toles might end up being the next Chris Taylor, but I’m sure it’s going to take the Dodgers forever to realize that.

Meanwhile, Angel fans are so excited about Shohei Ohtani’s debut, they are all planning on going to Nobu sushi and spending $500 on an 8-piece tuna roll.  Ohtani looked far more polished than he did during his spring training debacle.  He’s yet to tap into his potential as a hitter, but that may only be a matter of time.  The rest of the offense looked great too, but Cam Bedrosian is a complete train wreck out of the bullpen.  Mike Scioscia must be planning on blowing a lot of games by trotting Bedrosian out to the mound every couple of nights.

To college basketball where the magic is over for Loyola, which lost to Michigan.  It got so bad at the end, Sister Jean left early to go do some drugs with Bill Walton.  If I took a shot for every time Sister Jean was mentioned in the broadcast, I’d be dead in five minutes.  She became the the Lavar Ball of the NCAA Tournament when it was over.  Meanwhile, Villanova hit so many threes on Saturday night, it was like they became the Golden State Warriors.  If this continues tonight in the Finals, Kevin Durant might ask to be traded there.  The Cats are the easy pick tonight.

The New York Giants have asked for two 1st round picks in exchange for Odell Beckham Jr.  What the hell are the Rams waiting for? Odell is the superstar to put the Rams over the top and the clear-cut favorites to win the NFC.  I am completely aware that Odell would make the Rams locker room more explosive than a stick of dynamite.  However, the Rams rebuilt their team in 18 months.  Unless you are the Cleveland Browns, if you have the right front office in place, you can rebuild an NFL team in no time at all.  The Rams have a two year window to contend with Goff, Gurley, and Donald on cheap deals.    Take advantage of it now, and even if this team is an explosive disaster, it will be spectacularly entertaining to watch.

It’s too bad the Lakers were bombed with injuries at the end of the season.  Had that not happened, they might have had a real chance to finish with a .500 record.  I don’t believe for a second the Lakers have any chance at signing anybody in the free agent class of 2019.  If they are going to have a big summer, it has to happen this July, but they might have tough decisions to make.  The question is how much to pay Julius Randle.  He’s playing like Shaq right now, but once he gets paid, will he start hanging out at Fat Burger like Shaq did later in his career?  I’m also not sure what the Lakers do if Kawhi Leonard becomes available for a trade this summer.  It would probably take Ingram, Lonzo, Kuzma, the Laker Girls, and the Playboy magazine with Jeanie Buss to acquire Kawhi.  That’s a high price to pay whether or not the Lakers can get Lebron.  In any case, if the Lakers don’t make the playoffs next year, we should be supremely disappointed.

I think it’s safe to say the Clippers playoff chances are toast after yesterday’s loss to the Pacers.  The  irony of it is, I don’t think Steve Ballmer and Jerry West actually wanted the team to make the postseason, because now they are going to end up with two lottery picks.  I’m sure they’d happily trade Doc Rivers to whoever would be willing to give them another 1st rounder as well.  They also wish they could send Danilo Gallinari to another planet.  Signing him to a $71 million contract was like lighting a pile of cash on fire.  It will be interesting to see which Clipper team shows up this summer: that one that was dumb enough to sign Gallo and give up draft picks in the process? Or the one that made a shrewd trade for Blake and decided to collect assets.  Chances are though that “The Clippers Gonna Clip”.

So let me get this straight.  The LA Kings had their biggest game of the season on Friday.  It was a showdown with their cross-town rivals, the Ducks.  The Kings lost 2-1 in OT, but Anze Kopitar said they could have played a lot better.  Coach John Stevens said several players could have given more.  What in god’s name are they waiting for? There’s 3 games left in the season! I guess nobody told them they might be playing golf if they don’t get their act together over the next week.  Now it makes sense to me why the Kings are promoting Bark Madness this month.  They have been playing like dogs all season.

Finally, another episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night.  Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan to watch it later.  How does garbage lady manage to keep her sheets so clean? She was trying to flag down that helicopter like I do when I miss my Uber.  Of course Rick lied about trying to team up with the Saviors to kill that entire herd of Walkers.  He was wearing his brown coat.  When he wears that brown coat you know he’s going to murder people.  He completely April fooled them.  Negan looks like he has more human compassion than Rick at this point.  It took nearly 8 full seasons for Carol to have a happy resolution with a child.  That probably means she’s about to die.  Speaking of death, I think just about everyone cracked the champagne after Jared’s death.  I’m really looking forward to Negan’s next encounter with Simon.  It’s inevitable in these last two episodes of the season that we’re going to lose another significant character.  Nevertheless, looking forward to it.



Monday Morning Coffee

March 26, 2018

The season hasn’t even started yet and the Dodgers already got bad news.  No, I’m not talking about the fact that Andrew Friedman and his band of geeks are still running the front office.  I’m talking about Justin Turner breaking his wrist.  It could have been worse, but it’s definitely not the best way to start the season.  The greater concern for the Dodgers is the lack of pitching depth this year compared to last year.  They are still good enough to win the division, probably beat the Nationals, but getting by the Cubs again isn’t going to happen unless they acquire another reliable starter and some bullpen help.  At best, I’d expect some dumpster diving from Friedman, who won’t spend any money because he’s apparently saving it for winter time.  I still have no idea why, because he probably won’t even spend that money then.

The Angels on the other hand are foolishly sticking with Shohei Ohtani on their major league roster to start the season, while sending Parker Bridwell and Nick Tropeano to the minors.  Tropeano had a great spring, has had stretches of brilliance in the big leagues, while Bridwell caught fire last year.  Meanwhile, Ohtani has been getting bombed like Hiroshima all spring.  Given that the Halos have the Astros in their division, winning the West is going to be tough, but the Wild Card is well within reach.  The Angels’ biggest issue over the years has been slow starts.  Waiting for Ohtani to figure it out could lead to another tough April, so let’s hope Scioscia and Eppler have a quick hook for their rookie if he falters.  Otherwise, the Halos will be sitting on their couch again come playoff time.

To the NCAA Tournament where Loyola has advanced to the Final Four.  Just how everyone picked it right? Loyola’s Sister Jean is clearly the NCAA Tournament MVP.  It’s amazing how good your team can be with guys that actually stay in college for four years that know the fundamentals.  Michigan making the Final Four is the best thing to happen to that state since the government bailed out the auto industry.  Grayson Allen has to be really disappointed he won’t get to trip anybody again in college after losing to Kansas.  Meanwhile, Texas A&M disappeared faster than Johnny Manziel’s NFL career.  West Virginia lost, but on the bright side, Bob Huggins will have a lot more time to spend at Hometown Buffet.  North Carolina lost so badly that Roy Williams will actually make his players attend class this week.

I will never understand how NFL Front Office Executives rationalize drafting certain players.  These guys have several years of game tape on Sam Darnold, Josh Rosen, and Saquon Barkley, which should help make their decisions’ easy.  Instead, they overanalyze combine workouts and get excited over some cute little throwing drills Darnold does in the rain.  Last year, a whole bunch of teams passed on drafting Deshaun Watson because he’s a black quarterback, and he ended up being really good.  The same thing will happen with Lamar Jackson this year.  It’s these NFL Executives that need to be tested for CTE.  Analytics are great, but most people don’t actually know how to use them to their benefit.  We will definitely see that come draft day, when teams let great talent slide down the draft board for stupid reasons.

Speaking of the NFL, the Rams are anxiously awaiting word on whether Ndamukong Suh will sign with them.  I realize that everybody is talking about how scary their defensive line will be with Suh and Aaron Donald.  However, the Rams don’t need Suh to win – he’s just a big name.  The Dolphins got rid of Suh because he was a bad culture fit.  The Rams have suddenly built themselves a great culture, which could absorb one questionable fit with Marcus Peters, but adding another one in Suh could do damage to that culture.  Like I said before, NFL free agency usually consists of a bunch of guys that are seriously flawed.  There’s a reason Suh is on the market, and it’s because he’s all about himself.  Why the hell is it taking him so long to make a decision anyway? He’s probably just enjoying all the free meals he’s getting from each team he’s visiting.

Now that Steph Curry is injured and is going to miss at least the next three weeks, Warrior fans have about that long to go buy their Houston Rocket jerseys.  The Rockets chances of winning an NBA title have become slightly more realistic given all the injuries the Warriors are dealing with.  That’s actually a great thing for the Lakers.  Why? Because as big of a front-runner that Lebron James is, there is no way he would join a Houston Rocket team that just won an NBA championship. So it might actually increase the Lakers’ chances of signing Lebron in July.  Meanwhile, Ty Lue is taking a couple of weeks off from coaching for health reasons.  In other words, Lebron sent him home for a couple of weeks.

There’s six games left in the regular season, and I have no idea who the LA Kings are or if they are going to make the playoffs.  Is this the team that decided on Thursday that they were going to destroy Colorado in a must-win game? Or are they the team that threw up all over themselves on Saturday night against Edmonton? The good news is that four of their final six games are against playoff teams.  You would think that’s a bad thing, but when the Kings play bad teams like they did on Saturday, they typically look about as prepared as I am for Jennifer Lopez to be my girlfriend.

Finally, an episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night.  Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if that is the case.  AMC fooled us into thinking it was two hours just to get you to watch a new show! So let me get this straight: you can drink from a well and not turn; eat tainted meat and not turn; coat your body in walker blood and not turn; but if you get cut with a weapon coated in walker blood you turn? That hardly makes sense but that’s TWD for you.  Little kids are so annoying in this show.  Henry is the latest dumb kid in the apocalypse.  It’s like all blonde children don’t listen to Carol.  I think it’s time she took him out to “look at the flowers”.  If Maggie’s pixie cut had time to grow out into a bob, she shoulda HAD A BABY BY NOW.   Morgan is losing his mind and has been for a while.  I’m operating under the assumption that Dwight shot Tara because he was protecting her, and those arrows weren’t really contaminated.  Dude falls down the stairs and nobody wakes up? It’s actually the comical holes in the plot that are continuing to bring entertainment value to the show.  I did also enjoy the fact that this episode was like a throwback to the terror of the walkers that we actually saw in the first couple of seasons.





Monday Morning Coffee

March 19, 2018

What a surprise! Last week Steve Alford’s UCLA Bruins disappointed again in March.  They didn’t even make it into the tournament, losing to St. Bonaventure in the play-in game.  March Madness must be referring to Alford’s play calling, because he couldn’t even draw up a scheme to beat a mid-major’s zone defense.  Alford has also apparently never heard of a 2-for-1 at the end of the game.  The Bruins have missed the tournament or barely made the field as a #11 seed in three of his five season’s as head coach.  Surely UCLA deserves better.  However, now is probably not the time to fire him.  An FBI investigation is about to rock college basketball, and put a number of programs under sanctions.  Once that resolves itself, and this year’s high ranked recruiting class is secure, the Bruins will probably have some better replacements to choose from.

Have you used your NCAA Bracket as toilet paper yet? That’s probably all it’s good for since 25% of ESPN brackets completed had Virginia winning it all.  Thomas Jefferson must have been rolling over in his grave watching that Virginia first round upset.  After UMBC’s win, 16 seeds are now 1-135 against 1 seeds, or what the Cleveland Browns call “our record for the last decade”.  Of course Buffalo beat Arizona.  Skip Bayless picked Arizona to win it all.  We’re screwed if Skip predicts the sun is going to rise tomorrow.  Now that Oklahoma has been eliminated from the NCAA Tournament, ESPN will probably end their coverage of college basketball for the remainder of the season.  Michigan’s Jordan Poole hit the game-winenr against Houston, then celebrated like a kid who just got his drivers license, running from all his friends who wanted a ride…….
It’s great to see the Lakers winning games and all, but they have lost all sensibility when it comes to Luol Deng.  We all know that Deng is making a ridiculous $18 million this season, and another $36 million after that.  The Lakers are so desperate for wing players after all their recent injuries, they resorted to signing Travis Wear to a 10-day contract, and playing him meaningful minutes, along with G-Leaguer Alex Caruso.  Is Deng such a bad player that when the Lakers actually need wings, Caruso and Wear are that much better? If the goal is to actually trade Deng, then the Lakers aren’t helping themselves by chaining him to the bench.  If they have no intention of playing him, then release him and let him go find a team that will actually give him an opportunity (and trust me, somebody will).

The Rams bid farewell to Sammy Watkins last week, as the Chiefs signed the wide receiver to a contract worth $30 million guaranteed.  Watkins is a human ponzi scheme. He has cost teams two 1st round picks, a 2nd, a 4th, and $70m, and no investors have been paid back.  Watkins would have been nice luxury for the Rams to keep, but he’s been nothing more than an expensive decoy for them.  The Rams also lucked out and had him relatively healthy last year, which is frequently not the case for him.  The Watkins void can be addressed with some later picks in the draft.

NFL free agency is very overrated.  It’s a market filled with a bunch of rejects past their prime.  If the player gets to free agency, he has some serious flaws.  The Cardinals signed Sam Bradford, who will likely tear his rotator cuff signing his new contract.  The Broncos signed Case Keenum to replace Trevor Siemian and Brock Osweiler.  John Elway definitely suffers from CTE.  The only exception to this is Kirk Cousins signing with the Vikings, but that’s just because the Redskins were dumb enough to not work out a long-term deal with him.  Real contenders are build through the draft.  Just ask the Patriots.

Somebody needs to tell Matt Kemp to save some of his offense for the real season.  Kemp has been crushing it this spring, as I told you he would, hitting .333/.368/.722 with 4 home runs and 7 RBI.  Kemp may not be the best defender the Dodgers can put in left field, but he is far and away the best bat they can put in that spot.  Kemp has not only earned a starting spot in left field for the Dodgers, but he may end of being a key piece to what the team hopes to accomplish this year.  If only he could pitch out of the bullpen too.

One guy who looks like he can’t pitch or hit in the big leagues is Shohei Ohtani.  This spring Ohtani is hitting just .100 at that plate, and on the mound he has an ERA of 27.  Everyone thought this guy was the best of Babe Ruth and Ted Williams.  Right now he looks like the worst of Scott Kazmir and Joc Pederson combined.  While this isn’t a contractual disaster because Ohtani makes very little, this is potentially a devastating disappointment for the Halos.  If Ohtani is just a minor leaguer that needs to develop, he is far from the savior the Angels need to try to compete with Mike Trout still in the prime of his career.  Time to get depressed over the Halos again.

Finally, another episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night.  Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later.  Rick was an actual trained cop?  How many opportunities does he need to kill Negan? He has more trouble killing Negan than Dr. Evil had killing Austin Powers.  Maggie must be 62 months pregnant by now.  You should never let woman who is 62 months pregnant make big decisions like she is.  Dwight just realized that Simon might actually be worse than Negan.  Simon’s not dead yet, but he’s about to be when Negan gets ahold of him.  Who knew that records could be so valuable in the apocalypse?  This episode had great action, but a frustrating and unsatisfying conclusion.  I definitely wouldn’t trust Georgie.  Mostly because she looks like the generic brand version of Hillary Clinton.

Monday Morning Coffee

March 12, 2018

The Lakers won the battle against Lebron last night, but the question remains will they win the battle for Lebron in July.  Interestingly enough, more and more Laker fans want the team to lose that battle.  Look I get it, this is a young team that’s exciting, and has lots of room to grow.  It’s far from the end of the world if they don’t get him.  However, if you have a chance to acquire the best player in basketball, you do it.  Even if Lebron isn’t the best player in basketball in 3-4 years, he’ll still be great enough to build your team around.  It’s been so long since the Lakers won a championship, apparently eating all that stale Staple Center sushi has made some fans forget that the objective is to actually try and win championships.  It’s not just to build some cute little team you claim “you want to be proud of”.  You’ll be proud of championships and the sooner we get them the better.  That’s more likely to happen sooner with Lebron, even if it means a lot more changes on the roster.

The Clippers have become yet another NBA team that has decided to put a sponsor on their team jersey.  Who is the sponsor? It’s Bumble.  For those of you unfamiliar with them, they are a dating app.  I’m not a fan at all of these sponsorships on the actual jerseys.  However, this partnership makes perfect sense.  Your odds of getting a ring on Bumble are just as bad as getting a ring if you are a member of the Los Angeles Clippers.

Let’s go to the insanity of college basketball where the Bruins found a way into the NCAA Tournament.  Sure the UCLA put up a nice fight against Arizona, but part of the Pac 12 Tournament should just make a Bruin fan want to pull their hair out.  UCLA should have won that tournament.  All year long we got to hear Steve Alford make excuses how the team has no depth because he suspended three rotation players.  That was four months ago! Instead of bitching about it, he could have developed some of the other talented players on his bench, like Chris Smith.  Did Alford even know Chris Smith’s name before last week? When this team wins it’s because they have some talent to get them by.  There’s never been any point where I feel like they are actually being coached or developed.  I fully expect that to be the case in the tournament this week.

I had no idea that the NCAA selection committee did shots of tequila before putting the brackets together.  That had to be the case because there’s no explanation for the decisions they made.  How the hell does USC finish 2nd in the Pac 12 and runner-up in the conference tournament and not make it? Even more baffling is the fact Oklahoma got in after sinking faster than the Titanic in the last 10 games.  Trae Young isn’t even playing that well against elite competition, and of course the committee just threw them in the tournament to get some ratings.  ASU finished 9th and under .500 in conference and made the cut.  Syracuse and Texas are a joke too.  Who sits on this committee? The same members of the IOC and FIFA? I haven’t even filled out my bracket and it’s already busted.

The Rams are going nuts.  After acquiring Aqib Talib, they have the best secondary in the NFC, and one of the best in the NFL.  This also means that when the Rams take on the Raiders next season, Talib will once again rip the chain necklace off of Michael Crabtree, and Marcus Peters will throw it into the stands.  The Rams have suddenly become a smart organization.  They realize their window to win with Jared Goff, Todd Gurley, and Aaron Donald on cheap contracts is small, and they need to take advantage of it.  They badly needed to get better at both cornerback and wide receiver, and they’ve already fixed one side of the ball.  It’s an arms race between the Eagles, Rams, and Vikings in the NFC.  The only bad news is if you want a PSL in the new stadium and you’re an average dude, you’ll probably be financing it until the time you die.

Another episode of The Walking Dead went down last night on AMC.  Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan to watch it later.  The Saviors killed another doctor? We are losing doctors on this show faster than Judith is losing baby sitters.  It took Negan this long to figure out this idea of putting Walker guts on weapons?  Enid finding out that Carl died was more sad than Carl actually dying.  My conspiracy theory is that Daryl is keeping Dwight alive as a favor to Sherry, who let him out when he was captured by the Saviors.  Morgan better not leave that kid with Carol because she’s like 0-3 with kids.  Eugne got himself a promotion. Homeboy seems to keep failing upwards in the zombie apocalypse. I’m sure his momma’s proud.  Looking forward to the next episode.

Finally, The Bachelor finally came to an end on ABC last week.  This season was horribly boring, so they had to give us a controversial ending, with Arie changing his mind and going back to Lauren and leaving Becca after proposing to her.  I’ve said all along that Arie is boring and about as smart as a doorknob.  However, why are people so outraged? They get to see breakups every week when they watch reality TV, so how was this any different?  Besides, Arie gave Becca the greatest gift of all, which was enough sympathy from everyone to make her the next Bachelorette.  That’s a lottery ticket.  Arie clearly doesn’t understand what the meaning of “please leave” means.  Dude’s knees must be killing him from proposing twice in six weeks.  This guy has more commitment issues than Lebron James.  I still can’t believe that Arie proposed to Lauren in front of everybody, after he knew the crowd was going to be hostile.  I’ve seen a louder applause at the Olive Garden when they brought more breadsticks.  Thank god this season is over, but we all know no matter how bad it was, we’re going to watch the next season.


Monday Morning Coffee

March 5, 2018

I don’t know if any of you have noticed, but the Lakers have had one of the five best records in basketball since January 1st.  It just so happens that Brandon Ingram and Julius Randle have been killing it, and Lonzo Ball is actually really good.  Ingram is 20 years old.  Most 20 year olds can’t even take cash out of the ATM, and he’s a very good NBA player.  Call me crazy, and that I might even need professional help, but I think the Lakers could make it to 41 wins by the end of the season, and finish at an even .500 record.  If that happens, Luke Walton should be Coach of the Year, and you should be feeling like throwing a parade for this team.  Even if the results aren’t that impressive, the Lakers are definitely improving, and the decisions they make this summer might be more complex than we think.

In typical Steve Alford fashion, the Bruins managed to beat USC over the weekend.  I guess Alford decided for one weekend that he was going to urge his team not to completely embarrass themselves by losing to their non-basketball school cross-town rival.  It’s still shameful that USC finished 2nd in the Pac 12, while the Bruins settled for 4th.  Now UCLA has to win at least two games in the conference tournament next week to have any hope of sneaking into the NCAA tournament.  Were it not for the distractions of Lavar Ball, Donald Trump, and those three idiots that stole things in China, more people would be talking about how horrible of a job Alford is doing.

There’s good news and bad news for UCLA basketball fans.  The good news is they have a top 5 recruiting class coming in next year with the addition of Shaq’s son, Shareef O’Neal.  The bad news is Steve Alford is still going to be coaching that class, which means they probably won’t go that far.  It also means that Alford’s job is secure for at least another year with a solid recruiting class in place. Even if the Bruins don’t make the tournament this year, they wouldn’t dare jeopardize losing any of those recruits by firing Alford.  Even if they want to.

We’re just a week into spring training, and the Dodgers entire team has been suffering from a major illness.  This makes perfect sense.  After the Dodger players witnessed just how bad their bullpen and pitching has been in the first week, they are all obviously sick to their stomaches.  For some reason, Andrew Friedman thought he could take some of the worst relievers in baseball last season, and make them into great relievers this season.  I’m not sure which analytics convinced him that would be a good idea, but somehow he tortured enough numbers to tell himself it will work.  Not only does Tom Koehler stink, but now he’s injured.  Great start to the Dodgers’ season, and it hasn’t even really started yet.

The United States bid for the World Cup in 2026 is reportedly in jeopardy of falling apart.  I’ve never seen anything so absurd in my life.  FIFA and the IOC are two of the most corrupt organizations in the world.  FIFA is angry that the U.S. Department of Justice exposed just how corrupt their organization is after a recent investigation.  So instead of awarding the World Cup to a country that has the perfect infrastructure and security for it, they will instead award it to a country that has no business hosting it, and will probably end up bankrupt from it.  Just a couple of weeks ago I had the privilege of meeting Casey Wasserman, who led the efforts to secure the Olympic games in the U.S. in 2028.  Wasserman said that the IOC completely ignores the details of the plans for a city for the Olympic games, and simply votes for a city based on popularity.  This is exactly what FIFA does, but unfortunately, nobody will stop their corruption anytime soon.

I guess that makes it six wins in a row for the Lakers after Kobe Bryant won an Oscar last night.  The fact Kobe was even nominated, let alone won is unbelievable.  The Darkest Hour was not only a phenomenal movie, but also very historically significant.   Do yourself a favor and go see it, as it was very worthy of last night’s Oscar.  Kind of funny that Gary Oldman won an Oscar for playing an old man.  Jennifer Lawrence looked 11 feet tall last night.  Congrats to Frances McDormand on winning Best Actress, but she is one nutty fruit cake.  Don’t you just love Hollywood? In the year of #metoo and #timesup, Best Picture was awarded to a movie about a woman having sex with a fish.  They should just cancel next year’s show and hand all of the 2019 Oscar’s to Black Panther.

The Walking Dead was really jumping around a lot in last night’s episode.  After going through a full episode of finally saying goodbye to Carl, things had to slow down.  Simon is basically serving as the IRS of the apocalypse.  He came to collect debt from Jadis.  There really wasn’t too much of note in this episode, but am I the only one wondering……WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HEATH?

Finally, we’ve reached the last two episodes of the season of The Bachelor.  Arie has narrowed it down to two women, in what will finish as one of the worst seasons in the 22 the show has aired.  Lauren B says there aren’t words to describe how much she loves Arie.  However, if there were, she wouldn’t even know how to use them.  She’s a finalist, and she’s boring as hell.  If Kendall killed and stuffed Lauren like the rest of her taxidermy, I don’t think Arie would even know the difference.  I could swear Arie and Lauren were about to get in a twin bed in that fantasy suite.  Becca’s ex should have been the bachelor instead of Arie.    That says a lot more about just how blah Arie is, than anything about her ex.  If Ross can find Becca K in Peru, than why can’t Bekah M’s mom find her in NorCal?  Rumor has it that Arie did more flip flopping than Mitt Romney before the show ended.  I guess we’re about to find out.



Monday Morning Coffee


February 26, 2018

The theme of this week’s Monday Morning Coffee is “disappointing”.  The Lakers may be playing better, but they are going to be disappointed this summer when they learn that Lebron James is going to be staying in Cleveland for another year.  Of course when asked if he wanted to see a change in the NBA’s playoff structure, Lebron’s said no.  He knows he has a free pass to the Finals playing in the Eastern Conference.  It would take that change in playoff structure, Paul George, and trading for another star player to get Lebron to seriously consider signing with the Lakers.  Despite the recent talk that other star could be Kawhi Leonard, that story makes little sense.  If the Spurs are willing to trade a top 5 player in his prime, he has to be damaged goods.

The Winter Olympics came to a close last night, but not before some major disappointments from the US figure skating team.  They should just change their Olympic slogan to “Going For Bronze”.  Shani Davis also left his last Olympics in incredibly disappointing fashion.  He bitched about not carrying the flag in the opening ceremony, had a disappointing race, then didn’t even want to talk to anybody when it was over.  Congratulations to the U.S. women’s hockey team on winning the gold! When Canada’s men and women both lose the gold in hockey, everyone in America wins! Speaking of hockey, Russia won the gold medal in the men’s tournament.  When is Trump inviting them to the White House?  I guess a sport is not actually a sport until someone gets caught for Performance Enhancing Drugs.  That makes curling officially a sport as of last week.  Congrats to the US men’s curling team on their gold medal! The internet wins again!

Then there’s the disappointment that is UCLA basketball.  The Bruins took a sledgehammer to their tournament hopes a pair of road losses at Utah and Colorado.  Are we also going to blame these losses on the fact three players got suspended in China? UCLA should never lose basketball games to Utah and Colorado.  After yesterday’s loss, Steve Alford says the idea that all college basketball players are getting paid is “ludicrous”.  Today I’m telling you the idea that Steve Alford is getting paid to coach UCLA is ludicrous.  The man has no idea how to prepare his team for a basketball games.  If the Bruins get embarrassed again next week at USC, the Chancellor should call Casey Wasserman again to help them find a new coach.

Continuing our theme of disappointment is the idea that the FBI has nothing better to do with their time than crack down on college athletes getting paid.  There is no victim in this situation.  Players are getting paid and rightfully so.  The NCAA is making boatloads of money, and the amount of money and benefits going to these players is so minuscule compared to what they could and should be getting.  If the NCAA really cares about fixing this problem, they’ll increase the stipend that college football and basketball players receive, making these other benefits and payments they are receiving meaningless.  If USC and Arizona end up playing in the Pac 12 Title game in two weeks, it’s going to be a complete embarrassment to the NCAA, and the conference.  If the NCAA had any balls, they would suspend everybody, but they won’t because stars would sit out the tournament and ratings would suffer.  Now that Louisville has to vacate all their wins from 2013, does Rick Pitino have to vacate the tattoo on his back?

I’m not sure what to make of the Rams acquisition of Pro Bowl Cornerback Marcus Peters.  Since 2015, no defender has allowed a lower passer rating in coverage than Peters.  He’s also only making  $1.7 million next year, which for a Pro Bowler is like being on food stamps.  However, this dude brings baggage.  He left a game last year after mistakenly thinking he was ejected, throwing a flag into the stands and leaving the game and returning not in uniform.  He’s also yelled at assistant coaches, and irked his owner by kneeling for the National Anthem.  This guy is talented, but if culture matters and the Rams are still building it, then this is a disappointing move.

We continue our theme of disappointment by taking it to television, and the dumpster fire that has become The Bachelor.  Arie began his hometown tours on last week’s episode and last night we had “The Women Tell All.”  You know you need to shutdown a relationship when there’s taxidermy involved.  I could only deal with seeing a stuffed animal at a museum behind a glass, but I’m not touching a dead animal, let alone stuffing it.  Arie is probably wondering if he’s gonna get put on the wall by Kendall when he dies.  I like how Kendall didn’t give Arie the answer he wanted when asked if she was ready for an engagement, yet he picked her anyway.  Lauren B is as boring as her family, which we learned when they were so quiet so early on.  She looks like the winner though, but not for any good reason based on Arie’s logic (or lack thereof).  So Seinne is the next Bachelorette right? Isn’t that what we learned last night? Didn’t think ABC was progressive enough to have two black women in a row as The Bachelorette.  I love Arie continuing to put Krystal in her place, but she sounded nothing like she did all season.  If Arie brought half the personality to the show he brought last night this season wouldn’t be such a drag.

The final disappointment comes from the return of The Walking Dead, and the loss of another major character last night.  Spoiler alert if you have yet to see it, so read no further if that is the case.  You knew this one was coming, but Carl finally died after suffering a bite in the previous episode.  This episode was sad, but it was a nice ceremonial tribute to one of the original characters that we’ve seen for the last 8 years.  Carl may be dead, but his meme’s will live on forever.  If there’s one thing I won’t miss though, it’s that stupid hat of his.  As much as I hate to see him go, the show had to deviate from the comics because it was becoming way too predictable.  For those of you complaining, it’s the zombie apocalypse people! There’s going to be death.  Couldn’t Carl at least have gotten Enid killed in the process? She’s by far the most annoying character left on the show.

Monday Morning Coffee

February 19, 2018

Now that Steph lost to Lebron again, he will probably beg Kevin Durant to join his team one more time just for old times sake.  Then again, KD will probably now demand a trade to the Cavs when he wakes up this morning.  For the first three quarters of the All-Star game, I was bored and ready to switch over to some Olympic figure skiing.  However, the 4th quarter was actually entertaining because Team Lebron decided to compete.  Steph’s team was so surprised by it, they ended up choking their lead away.  Forget the game though, Fergie’s National Anthem disaster was hilarious.  That rendition would have been perfect were she performing in a strip club.  I don’t know how any player managed to keep a straight face either.

You didn’t really think we could go a full week without hearing from Lavar did you? His latest idiotic comment is saying that Lonzo won’t re-sign with the Lakers unless his two brothers are playing in their organization.  As much as I think Lonzo is going to be a very good player (and no I don’t really think the Lakers should trade him just for the sake of it), part of me would love to see the Lakers trade him just to punk Lavar.  Hopefully it’s in a package for Anthony Davis.  Better yet, I’d rather see them re-sign Lonzo, sign his two brothers, then cut them.  If Lavar keeps up this crap, if Lonzo ever falters, he is going to have to pack up his circus and take it elsewhere.

To college basketball, where the Bruins picked up a couple of huge wins last week against the Oregon schools.  I don’t care what anybody says:  Thomas Welsh is UCLA’s most important player, and he might even be their best player.  Of course you would never know that since Steve Alford is their coach.  All season long, he has had no idea how to get him more touches, and facilitate more offense through him.  I always knew Alford couldn’t coach defense, but the fact he can’t figure out how to use his best player tells you just how bad he is.  The Bruins need to win two of their last three, plus grab a conference tournament win to safely make it in to the NCAA Tourney.  Then Alford’s squad can look forward to going home early again.

In case you didn’t hear, the LA Kings made a huge trade last week.  They traded former 40-goal scorer Marian Gaborik to the Senators for defenseman Dion Phaneuf.  Phaneuf used to be one of the best defenseman in the league, 10 years ago.  However, the Kings got the most important asset in the acquisition: Phaneuf’s wife, Elisha Cuthbert.  Phaneuf’s contract is horrible, but knowing that they would be seeing Cuthbert in the stands every home game was probably enough to get the deal done.

Donald Trump is going to add the U.S. Men’s curling team to his travel ban list after their horrendous performance at the Olympics.  Can’t we just put politics aside for this 17-day period? Apparently Lindsay Vonn and her critics couldn’t.  Vonn got sixth place in the Super-G after saying she wouldn’t visit the White House if she was invited.  Of course all the Trump supporters jumped on her like a Cheetah on a Rabbit after her disappointing performance.  Seems rather un-American for both sides.      Lost in all that however, is the fact that NBC looks like fools.  They announced Austrian, Anna Veith as the winner, but it was Ester Ledecka from the Czech Republic that won after NBC had left coverage.  Even more shocking was the fact Ledecka did this after borrowing ski’s from U.S. star Mikaela Shiffrin.  Aren’t the Winter Olympics tough enough for the U.S.? Now we’re actually lending equipment to other countries to beat us.  Also, is this the Winter Games or The Hunger Games?

The NCAA denied Notre Dame’s appeal of 21 vacated football wins due to an academic misconduct violation.  I guess the NCAA finds it a complete outrage that athletes at Notre Dame have to be students too, and felt the need to punish the school.  By “punish”, what I really mean is that we’re all going to pretend that Notre Dame didn’t really finish the 2012 season undefeated and play in the BCS National Championship game.  That’s ok though, I’d rather wipe away the embarrassment of that game against Alabama.  The Irish did lose the game, but make no mistake about it: they won the tailgate party…..

Finally, another episode of The Bachelor goes down on ABC tonight.  Last week was a difficult episode that was missing a lot of entertainment value with the recent departures of several contestants from the week before.  I’m going to start referring to Lauren B as “Lauren ZZZZZZZ” because she’s practically sleeping on all her dates with Arie.  She was basically walking around Tuscany in silence.  Did Arie think he picked the other Lauren when he kept her on the show?  Then what was Arie doing when he got up in the middle of dinner with her after she actually started talking? Did he have to pass gas or just talk to the producer? It’s like they forgot to air an episode, because there’s no explanation for why Lauren is still around since they have nothing in common.  I sort of thought Arie was a dummy, but now I know he’s a dummy because he used the phrase “I’m trying to be logic” on two different occasions with two different women.  Bekah M sabotaged herself by continuously reminding Arie of her age.  It’s like nails on chalkboard and led to her elimination.  Then there’s Tia who claims she is falling for Arie.  Of course she’s falling for Arie.  What do you think there’s rich race car drivers just walking around the woods of Weiner, Arkansas for her? If Arie picks her over more educated women like Jacqueline or Sienne, it’s not even close to being believable.


Monday Morning Coffee

February 12, 2018

The Lakers made a lot of noise at the NBA trade deadline last week.  I’m shocked that ESPN didn’t respond by getting Lavar Ball’s thoughts for the next 30 minutes.  As for the acquisition of Isaiah Thomas and Channing Frye, it’s like I told you after the Lakers used D’Angelo Russell to dump Timofey Mozgov’s contract.  If the Lakers are going to keep dumping young talent they’ve spent years investing in, this summer they better sign Lebron James.  Come July, I better not hear Magic and Rob try to sell me on trading for another has been like Brook Lopez, with one year left on his deal, just to try their luck in the 2019 free agent market.  It’s Lebron James and Paul George or bust, and the Lakers are either doubling down on dumb, or they know something the rest of us don’t.  I sure hope it’s the latter.

Then there’s the Clippers, who blew a huge opportunity at the trade deadline.  They hung on to DeAndre Jordan, Avery Bradley, and decided to sign Lou Williams to an extension.  Everyone comes up a loser in this instance.  The Clips blew an opportunity to get more assets to help them rebuild, and I don’t know what Lou Williams was thinking.  He signed a team friendly extension with a Clipper team that probably convinced him they won’t trade him.  That’s about as smart as doing business with Lavar Ball.

To baseball where Yu Darvish just signed a contract for up to $150 million over 6 years with the Chicago Cubs.  This dude has a career postseason ERA over 5, and bamboozled somebody into giving him $150 million? What a time to be alive! I’d like to know if the MLB players union still thinks the owners are colluding to not pay top dollar for free agents.  Sure the Dodgers could use another great starting pitcher, but surely not at that price, and not for a guy who has shown you can’t trust in the most crucial moments of the season.  Nobody should have given Darvish a dime until he proved he’s not really tipping his pitches.

Nothing in the world could have been more predictable than seeing UCLA lose to Arizona State, after defeating Arizona on the road.  As usual, Steve Alford’s squad looked totally disjointed on offense, and looked completely clueless on the defensive end against the Sun Devils.  The win against Arizona also makes sense because you can always count on Sean Miler to make Alford look like John Wooden.  Nobody does less with more than Miller.  Alford played lineups that never even played together all season, like Holiday, Ali, Smith, Olesinski, and Goloman all at once.  This of course came after someone donated $6.5 million to the UCLA basketball program.  For $6.5 million you would think the donor would just spend the money on a much improved coach for the men’s team. The gift came from the Price family, and now Alford’s title is “The Michael Price Family UCLA Head Basketball Coach.”  Who wouldn’t donate even more money if they knew they could own the rights to Steve Alford?

Last week was the always overhyped College Football National Signing Day.  For some reason USC felt the need to extend Clay Helton’s contract, just to show a stronger commitment to their recruits.  Clearly, the Trojans care a lot more about these overhyped recruiting rankings than the actual College Football Playoff rankings, because the extension was totally unnecessary.  Helton looked totally in over his head against Ohio State in the Cotton Bowl, and consistently demonstrated a lack of creativity and imagination on offense.  This is like proposing to your girlfriend, immediately after experiencing the worst sex of your life with her.  Most Trojan fans aren’t going to be happy about this, especially when you consider that recruiting at USC isn’t that difficult for a halfway decent coach.

I’m a huge fan of the Olympic Games, both summer and winter.  When else will you be fascinated watching sports you’ve never even seen before like curling, ski jumping, and slopestyle?  I’m very surprised the Koreans didn’t fire a missile into the stadium to light the Olympic torch to open the games.  For many of these events like skeleton and the super-G, if you don’t die during the actual training do you automatically qualify for the Olympic games?  The biathalon, which includes skiing and shooting has to be the most Nordic event ever.  You would think the US would be a lot better at the shooting portion.  Trying to understand curling is one of my favorite parts of the games.  Looking forward taking this in over the next two weeks.

Finally, another episode of The Bachelor went down last week on ABC, and it was a shocker.  Krystal, the biggest villain in the history of the show was sent home.  There has never been a contestant more ready for a two-on-one date, but after talking a lot of smack, she was totally outsmarted again.  I’m really surprised she didn’t flip a table or chase down Kendall and Arie at the Eiffel Tower when it was over.  I also now realize that they make the show two hours because it takes Krystal an hour just to finish one sentence.  My other favorite part of the episode was the fact Arie said that he was intimidated by Jacqueline’s intelligence.  Oh ok Arie, so you’re saying you prefer to spend your time with stupid people.  Thanks for clarifying.  It’s amazing that Arie was able to get Lauren B to talk on his date with her, even after dropping that bomb about a miscarriage in his previous relationship.  Lauren said no more than 10 words during the whole date.  I do miss Annaliese on the show however, who probably would have claimed she had a fear of corn mazes, burlesque shows, baguettes, and French accents if she were still in it.   I have my doubts the entertainment value of the show is going to be there for the rest of the season with no Krystal or Chelsea, however, any of the remaining 7 women can win it.