Monday Morning Coffee

January 20, 2020

The Lakers have won 12 games in a row against teams over .500. That can’t be correct right? I mean we were all told that the Lakers only beat bad teams and couldn’t compete against the elite. Did I mention the fact they beat the Rockets on the road without Anthony Davis? Suddenly I don’t hear anybody complaining about Kentavious Caldwell-Pope anymore. At this point the Lake Show needs to figure out how to match up better with the Clippers and Bucks, as well as stay healthy. That’s it. That’s a pretty damn good position to be in. Also, those of you that want to trade Kyle Kuzma need to take an elementary school math class. You can’t trade a guy making $2 milion for a guy making $20 million in the NBA. This also goes for “Scream’in A Smith” who thinks the Lakers should trade Kuzma to Phoenix for Devin Booker. Kuz isn’t going anywhere.

Meanwhile, the Clippers are still approaching each game like a high school Senior that’s been accepted to college. I realize the Clips want to load manage not just Kawhi, but their entire approach to these games. However, they probably don’t want to settle for anything less than a top 3 seed. Otherwise they could potentially face the Lakers before the conference finals. For all the depth the Clips have as well, they sure could use some bigger bodies on the front line. There is some wild speculation out there about what the team could do, but I can’t see them moving Harrell or Lou Williams without seeing what this group can do in the playoffs first.

To the NFL where the 49ers ran over the Packers yesterday and are in the Super Bowl. This Packer loss must be Mike McCarthy’s fault too right? Aaron Rodgers just lost the NFC Championship Game to a Backstreet Boy with a nice defense. State Farm’s hopes and dreams were completely shattered after their two biggest celebrity endorsers won’t meet in the Super Bowl. The Chiefs handled business yesterday against the Titans and are in the Super Bowl. Andy Reid is pumped he’s only one win away from an epic fast food buffet at The White House. The only thing more impressive than the Chief’s comeback is the fact Andy Reid did it without blowing all his timeouts like he usually does. Patrick Mahomes may be the man, and he may be a very rich man this off-season, but he still has to go home to a very annoying girlfriend. I’m not even dating her and I want to break up with her.

So let me get this straight. You think that Tom Brady is actually going to play for the Chargers next season? Dean Spanos is so cheap, he breathes through his nose to keep from wearing out his teeth. Tom Brady is too smart to play for a bum owner like Dean Spanos. Not to mention it wouldn’t even make sense for the franchise. If they are going to replace Philip Rivers, they shouldn’t replace him with an old quarterback when they can draft a good one this year with their 1st round pick. Even if they are just trying to sell tickets in the new stadium, they are better off doing it with a young player.

To baseball where the cheating scandal the Astros and Red Sox were a part of is only getting worse, as we hear more about it. This completely altered the legacy of Clayton Kershaw, and the career and earnings of Yu Darvish. Everybody owes these two men a serious apology, because the cheating qualifies what happened in 2017, and even in 2018. As for the MLB, they should absolutely strip the title from the Astros. The fact Rob Manfred won’t tells me the Commissioner earned his degree from the Vince McMahon School of Ethics in Sports. This doesn’t excuse the Dodger front office from not doing enough. Andrew Friedman is so saavy with his analytics, yet his software can’t figure out that the opponent is cheating. I think the only solution is for the Dodgers to cheat to win the 2020 World Series. That way they win and Andrew Friedman gets fired. Sounds like a win-win for everybody.

Did you watch the NCAA Championship Football game last week? They should have just saved everyone a lot of time and had the Republican National Convention at halftime. Trump was cheering for Clemson right? I mean they are both Orange. Ed Oregeron needs to be the new voice on the Waze app. I guess it makes sense why USC didn’t want him as their coach. He’s a winner, which does’t fit their culture. When exactly did College Football give up on playing defense? That game is more reason that the playoff shouldn’t be expanded. The difference between the top team in nation and everybody else is usually pretty significant. LSU crushed it, and was far and away the best college football team in the country this year. However, Joe Burrow will probably retire now that he’s going to be drafted by the Bengals.

I can’t believe you suckers paid $65 to watch Conor McGregor fight for 40 seconds on Saturday night. I saw the entire fight on YouTube through somebody sitting in the front row and I paid nothing. What’s the ROI on your $65 investment? Meanwhile you’re all like…..

Finally, another episode of The Bachelor went down on ABC last week, and it’s back tonight. The last episode proved nothing other than HANNAH B IS STILL OUR NEXT BACHELORETTE. The season will probably end with Peter as Hannah’s boyfriend. Something tells me the majority of these girls don’t need $20,000 of Revolve clothing. They seriously brought Demi back for an episode? I love how Kelsey just gave Peter a $5 bottle of Andre to replace her expensive bottle of Dom. Gotta love Kelsey trying to explain that bullying only counts if you do it more than once. Here’s a full recap of the episode:


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