Monday Morning Coffee

June 10, 2019

I know what you’re thinking. The Lakers can assemble the best trade package for Anthony Davis, and should be able to trade for him. It’s not going to happen folks. Even though the Celtics are out and the Lakers have better assets than the Knicks and Clippers, the Pelicans are going to make the Lakers pay a “Laker tax” in order to complete a trade. Even if Rob Pelinka is willing to put every single young player into a trade, which he probably would do to save his job, Jeanie Buss but won’t let him. She’s been sticking her nose into every basketball decision these days, along with the inept friends she’s been relying on. This situation won’t be any different, and it’s going to cost the Lakers another star they could have traded for, for the 3rd straight summer. In the meantime, the Lakers are building an excellent staff of replacements for Frank Vogel. The latest hiring is Lionel Hollins. Something tells me we’re going to see a lot of finger pointing this season.

Warriors fans haven’t been this upset since Mitch Richmond left the team. Just kidding. No Warriors fans even know who Mitch Richmond is. Like I said, the only thing that can derail the Warriors are injuries, and that’s exactly what is going to derail them. Kawhi is a beast. He and Kevin Durant are total weirdos though. Kawhi could win the title and decide to leave. Durant could lose the title and also leave, because some 13-year-old on Twitter thinks he sucks. However, the way things are going, free agency is probably going to be a bust. KD, Kawhi, Klay, and Butler all end up staying, Kyrie goes to Brooklyn, and we got excited for nothing. As for Golden State, stay positive Warrior fans. You still have the Raiders for another year.

Mark Stevens was not just an idiot fan who got drunk and pushed Kyle Lowry when he fell into the stands last week. He’s a part owner of the Warriors, which makes him all those things, plus an entitled moron. Then it all made sense: he’s on the Board of Directors at USC.

All these sports writers are wondering if it’s too early to celebrate the Dodgers’ success. I’m wondering if it’s too early to blame the front office for failing in the 2019 postseason. The Dodgers have the best record in baseball, just like they did around this time two years ago. In 2017, it didn’t matter because they lost in 7 games in the World Series. In 2018, their slow start didn’t matter because they made the postseason, then lost in the World Series. All I know is, this movie has the same cast of characters in it for the 3rd year in a row, so why should I expect the ending to be any different? A good regular season team, strong pitching, solid offense, and a bullpen that’s more volatile than the Dow Jones. If you can’t fix the pen, you can’t change the ending to the movie. Until that happens, we should be skeptical.

Matt Harvey began a AAA rehab assignment for the Angels over the weekend. He gave up 8 runs, so it looks to me like he’s healthy enough to keep getting destroyed in the Majors. Harvey probably lowered his ERA too after giving up 8 runs. Seriously though, how long are the Halos going to keep trotting out Harvey and Trevor Cahill to the mound? The less we see from those two guys, the more we’ll see from promising young pitchers like Canning and Suarez. Those pitchers can’t fare any worse than the two bums the Angels think are their #1 and #2 starters. Dallas Keuchel on a one year deal sounded a lot better than either one of those two guys, but too late for that now.

Now that OTA’s have started, Todd Gurley sounds like the oldest 24-year-old in history. At this rate, he’s going to be retired by the time the season starts in September. With Gurley not participating in OTA’s, it’s time to officially be concerned about the arthritis in his knee. Without question, the Todd Gurley we saw sporadically in the playoffs is the Todd Gurley were going to see in this upcoming season. The Rams have to preserve him. Too bad they didn’t realize that before paying him $45 mill guaranteed. Suddenly, Darrell Henderson seems like a critical piece to develop at the running back position, or else the Rams offense might not be so dynamic anymore. This is where we find out if Sean McVay is really a “McGenius”, or just a football coach with a hot foreign girlfriend.

Finally, another episode of The Bachelorette went down last week on ABC, and it’s back again tonight. Not only is Luke P a liar, manipulative, and a poor sport … but he’s 5’6. Can we all take a minute to be concerned about Rhode Island’s health care? I mean did Kevin go to a civil war hospital when he got his arm wrapped up? They should just change the name of this season to the “The Battle Of The Luke’s”. This whole Jaylen Brown and Hannah discussion was beyond awkward, because in reality you know they just wanted to go to the Fantasy Suite to get it on. Honestly, this season is so bad, if they turned the Bachelorette into a show where she went out on 30 dog dates, handing out dog bones at the end of each date, and eventually picking the dog of her dreams, people would be way more interested. This coming from someone who isn’t really a dog person either.

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