Monday Morning Coffee

May 27, 2019

Happy Memorial Day Everyone! This is your weekly reminder that the Lakers’ ownership and front office are still acting like complete idiots and it’s only getting worse by the day. If Magic Johnson loves the Lakers so much, why won’t he shut up and stop talking to the media? He’s doing more damage every time he speaks, but apparently he’s too self-centered and lacks the self-awareness to realize that. I’m not sure why we think Rob Pelinka is capable of pulling off anything this summer since no GM or agent will take his call. Perhaps he can try email? Magic already confirmed our worst fears about him and the entire organization. Then there’s Jeanie Buss, who clearly skipped the first day of business school class at USC where they recommend you don’t stick to business with family and friends. This July is going to be such and disaster and as upset as we’re all going to be watching it, we’re all going to be there when these senseless buffoons get what they deserve. Maybe that will finally humble them enough to get them to look in the mirror and see what they’ve let this become.

I still think Kevin Durant is a lunatic for even considering leaving a historically great team like the Warriors. Who cares what people think? If he wins there his legacy will be great. Nevertheless, you have to give the Clippers credit for suddenly looking competent enough to look like a real contender for his services this summer. I don’t really think this is going to happen, and the narrative is a little bit over the top, but the fact that this is a real discussion just shows you how far the perception of the Clippers has come in a very short period of time. If a Durant or Kawhi Leonard signing were to happen, or even both, it would also further serve the Lakers right for the foolishness of their leadership.

The NBA Finals matchup is set! The Warriors will be taking on the Raptors beginning Thursday. Even though Kawhi Leonard is everything Jon Snow should have been, this series is going to be over faster than Hillary Clinton’s last Presidential campaign. It doesn’t matter if Kevin Durant and DeMarcus Cousins play or not. This shouldn’t take more than five games. Kawhi can’t guard everyone. I don’t care how many massages Drake is going to provide in this series, it’s a foregone conclusion. However, I feel like Drake is going to get so much air time in this series, I’m not going to want to see him for the next year. He’s been acting like an AAU coach.

To baseball where the Dodgers probably wish they could play the Pirates every game. They swept them over the weekend, and are 6-0 against them this season. The starting pitching has been on fire, sporting the best ERA in the National League, and the 2nd best in baseball. Interestingly enough, it feels like the LA’s been letting their starters pitch a little longer than the usual hook after the fifth inning. Perhaps that’s because Andrew Friedman’s computer is in the middle of a software upgrade, but nevertheless, their bullpen will be a lot more effective and well rested in the long run by doing that.

Then there’s the Angels, who’s starting pitching has been a pile of garbage. It’s no wonder that Matt Harvey has a back strain. He probably injured it looking back at all those home runs he’s been giving up. The players were also complaining that they had to play 20 straight days in a row. With the way they’ve been playing, their fans are complaining too. After taking two of three against the Rangers, the Angels best hope on the mound is Griffin Canning, or for a weather delay. The odds of winning the Power Ball are higher than Andrew Heaney and Tyler Skaggs staying healthy for a full season. There’s only two teams in baseball with starters that collectively have a worse ERA than the Angels. The division is already lost and it’s starting to feel like the Wild Card is insurmountable. Typical Angels baseball.

The Stanley Cup Final starts tonight! Raise your hand if you predicted Blues vs Bruins. If you’re raising your hand you’re a big fat liar. It just goes to show you that as long as you make the playoffs in the NHL, anything can happen. The Kings reminded us of that back in 2012 when they won the Cup as the 8th seed. However, that parity also means it’s hard to sustain success for very long and stay in contention. In any case, whoever wins it’s going to be an enjoyable Cup Final just knowing that the San Jose Sharks will be sitting on their couches at home watching as well.

Finally, the Bachelorette is back on ABC tonight. While I’m slowly losing interest in this season due to the dull personalities, I did learn a few things in the last episode. Mostly notably Kevin and Cam. I don’t care how mad you get, you never ever…waste chicken nuggets. Luke P says “you can trust me”. That’s like trusting Rob Pelinka to run your basketball franchise.
If all the biggest douche bags from The Bachelor franchise got together and had sex, Luke P would be born. Most people probably stopped watching the show after seeing Cam get a rose anyway. With every episode that goes by, I find Hannah getting not only more dull, but even a tad more obnoxious. We’ll see how much longer this lasts.

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