September 10, 2018
I am amazed that people actually picked the Chargers as a sleeper to get to the Super Bowl or be contenders in the AFC. It’s like some of those people were smoking with Elon Musk (more on that later). The Bolts couldn’t have looked any more overrated in their season opener against the Chiefs. They also had their 30,000 seat stadium packed with Kansas City fans, which is no surprise. A total embarrassment for a franchise that is used to embarrassing moments. It was so bad that the Chargers had to call timeout to drown out the crowd noise while on offense in their own stadium! If you went to the fridge to get a beer, you probably missed Tyreek Hill and his Olympic speed scoring early on. You just can’t trust the Chargers to finish off any game successfully, and playing 16 road games isn’t going to help them much either. For a team this talented, the sum of the parts is a lot less than the whole.
Elsewhere around the NFL, Eagles fans are so excited about their season opening win against the Falcons, they are going to celebrate by eating more horse manure. The Browns are going to throw a city wide parade after earning a tie with the Steelers. Nathan Peterman was so bad for the Bills, his quarterback rating actually went up after throwing an interception against the Ravens. The 49ers and Jimmy G were by far the next most overrated team coming into week 1. The Saints made Ryan Fitzpatrick look like Johnny Unitas and probably screwed you in your survivor pool. The Cowboys cut Dan Bailey because he didn’t have a criminal record and really could have used him against Carolina. That Bears-Packers game was like a big middle finger from Khalil Mack to Jon Gruden. Then Aaron Rodgers pulled a Paul Pierce and brought the Packers back. Here’s a look at Bears fans after Rodgers pulled off the magic comeback……
To College Football where the Trojans put on some mediocre performance against Stanford on Saturday night. The more and more I watch this team the more I think Clay Helton is the new Jeff Fisher of College Football. I’ve seen elementary school kids with more creativity than the creativity that Helton shows on offense. Of course Helton said after the game that he was really proud of his kids and how they competed. Apparently he thinks this is AYSO soccer. At this point the best thing going for USC is their talent and their schedule. Not even Clay Helton should lose to Texas next week, and they only dropped 4 spots in the rankings. Otherwise, the Trojan faithful shouldn’t be too thrilled about the big picture.
UCLA shouldn’t be too thrilled either with their 0-2 start, although I thought they were going to lose by a lot more than 28 points to Oklahoma. Things are so bad for the Bruins, Russell Westbrook attended the game and looked about as upset as he usually does after every playoff series. Things should get a little better for the Bruins in time, but the biggest concern has to be that Dorian Thompson-Robinson isn’t that good, which means UCLA needs to recruit another quarterback. If he’s under center for most of the rest of this season, it’s going to be a very long and ugly season for the Bruins.
Even though the Dodgers took 2 of 3 from the Rockies over the weekend, they are running out of time to give me any confidence they are going to make the postseason. Their chances of making it are about as good as a coin flip. Everyone wants to talk about how much easier their schedule is than the Rockies and D’Backs, but LA just lost 2 of 3 to the Mets at home. I’m not even sure the Mets are trying to win games at this point. They also have to go to St. Louis to play 4 games against the Cardinals, who own the Dodgers’ soul at this point. It’s going to be especially embarrassing for a team with that much talent and that much of a payroll to be sitting home in October. There’s also nothing more fitting than the Dodgers giving away these digital bobbleheads. In other words, they are actually giving NOTHING. Not an actual Bobblehead. I refuse to believe that anybody other than Andrew Friedman or his computer came up with his absurdly stupid and nerdy idea.
Now it just feels like Shohei Ohtani is trolling the Angels. Ohtani is probably going to undergo Tommy John surgery, just like everyone said he would after the Halos stubbornly put him back on the mound. Then Ohtani went on a home run hitting tear like he was Babe Ruth. This guy could easily hit 40 home runs exclusively as a designated hitter, and would provide Mike Trout with all the protection he needs. Instead, the Angels will have to wait until next season to keep Ohtani exclusively as a DH, moving even closer to Mike Trout’s free agency. Get ready for another 6 months of Mike Trout trade rumors since the Halos have been going nowhere. The Angels actually have money to spend this offseason too, but most people would probably bet on them spending it on another pitcher that’s going to end up on the operating table.
I thought the dumbest thing I had ever seen was Democrats boycotting In-N-Out because they donated to the Republican party. Then Republicans said “hold by beer” and started burning their Nike gear when they saw Colin Kaepernick as the face of a Nike campaign. That campaign doesn’t make most sensible people any more or less likely buy Nike, but it is an interesting strategy by the company. They definitely do not care about people in Texas, Alabama, or anybody in the middle of the country. They are focused on 12 cities around the globe, most notably LA and New York that are filled with diversity. They’ve also shown that historically they are willing to build these campaigns against controversial athletes (Tiger, Kobe, Charles Barkley, etc). It’s worked for them in the past, so no reason to think it won’t work now. It also gave us a week of some amazing internet memes.
I don’t really have that big of a problem with Elon Musk having a couple of sips of whiskey and smoking weed during his interview with Joe Rogan on Friday. However, given all the scrutiny he’s been under, the timing of it all seems very stupid, and you know his investors are going to lose their mind. For that reason, it amazes me that some of the smartest people can make some of the stupidest decisions. The real story behind that interview though was the fact that Musk was talking about some crazy “end of the world” technologies, that was essentially mad science that would eventually end the human race. It was like the guy just got back from Burning Man. He’s brilliant, but he’s crazy.
Finally, you’ve gotta hande it to ABC. Nobody wanted to see Colton as the next Bachelor, yet they found a way to give America exactly what it didn’t want. Colton as the next Bachelor. Is this guy really going to lose his virginity on fantasy suite night? Better yet, I can’t wait for the episode where Chris Harrison has to give Colton a sex ed course. Of course everyone is saying they are boycotting the show this season. they really really mean it this time. Except we all know that everyone will be back. In reality though, Colton is a bloggers dream as the next Bachelor because there are so many jokes you can make. It’s like the jokes actually write themselves. For those of you that wanted Jason, Peter, or Blake, you clearly have not caught on to how this works yet.