Monday Morning Coffee

March 5, 2018

I don’t know if any of you have noticed, but the Lakers have had one of the five best records in basketball since January 1st.  It just so happens that Brandon Ingram and Julius Randle have been killing it, and Lonzo Ball is actually really good.  Ingram is 20 years old.  Most 20 year olds can’t even take cash out of the ATM, and he’s a very good NBA player.  Call me crazy, and that I might even need professional help, but I think the Lakers could make it to 41 wins by the end of the season, and finish at an even .500 record.  If that happens, Luke Walton should be Coach of the Year, and you should be feeling like throwing a parade for this team.  Even if the results aren’t that impressive, the Lakers are definitely improving, and the decisions they make this summer might be more complex than we think.

In typical Steve Alford fashion, the Bruins managed to beat USC over the weekend.  I guess Alford decided for one weekend that he was going to urge his team not to completely embarrass themselves by losing to their non-basketball school cross-town rival.  It’s still shameful that USC finished 2nd in the Pac 12, while the Bruins settled for 4th.  Now UCLA has to win at least two games in the conference tournament next week to have any hope of sneaking into the NCAA tournament.  Were it not for the distractions of Lavar Ball, Donald Trump, and those three idiots that stole things in China, more people would be talking about how horrible of a job Alford is doing.

There’s good news and bad news for UCLA basketball fans.  The good news is they have a top 5 recruiting class coming in next year with the addition of Shaq’s son, Shareef O’Neal.  The bad news is Steve Alford is still going to be coaching that class, which means they probably won’t go that far.  It also means that Alford’s job is secure for at least another year with a solid recruiting class in place. Even if the Bruins don’t make the tournament this year, they wouldn’t dare jeopardize losing any of those recruits by firing Alford.  Even if they want to.

We’re just a week into spring training, and the Dodgers entire team has been suffering from a major illness.  This makes perfect sense.  After the Dodger players witnessed just how bad their bullpen and pitching has been in the first week, they are all obviously sick to their stomaches.  For some reason, Andrew Friedman thought he could take some of the worst relievers in baseball last season, and make them into great relievers this season.  I’m not sure which analytics convinced him that would be a good idea, but somehow he tortured enough numbers to tell himself it will work.  Not only does Tom Koehler stink, but now he’s injured.  Great start to the Dodgers’ season, and it hasn’t even really started yet.

The United States bid for the World Cup in 2026 is reportedly in jeopardy of falling apart.  I’ve never seen anything so absurd in my life.  FIFA and the IOC are two of the most corrupt organizations in the world.  FIFA is angry that the U.S. Department of Justice exposed just how corrupt their organization is after a recent investigation.  So instead of awarding the World Cup to a country that has the perfect infrastructure and security for it, they will instead award it to a country that has no business hosting it, and will probably end up bankrupt from it.  Just a couple of weeks ago I had the privilege of meeting Casey Wasserman, who led the efforts to secure the Olympic games in the U.S. in 2028.  Wasserman said that the IOC completely ignores the details of the plans for a city for the Olympic games, and simply votes for a city based on popularity.  This is exactly what FIFA does, but unfortunately, nobody will stop their corruption anytime soon.

I guess that makes it six wins in a row for the Lakers after Kobe Bryant won an Oscar last night.  The fact Kobe was even nominated, let alone won is unbelievable.  The Darkest Hour was not only a phenomenal movie, but also very historically significant.   Do yourself a favor and go see it, as it was very worthy of last night’s Oscar.  Kind of funny that Gary Oldman won an Oscar for playing an old man.  Jennifer Lawrence looked 11 feet tall last night.  Congrats to Frances McDormand on winning Best Actress, but she is one nutty fruit cake.  Don’t you just love Hollywood? In the year of #metoo and #timesup, Best Picture was awarded to a movie about a woman having sex with a fish.  They should just cancel next year’s show and hand all of the 2019 Oscar’s to Black Panther.

The Walking Dead was really jumping around a lot in last night’s episode.  After going through a full episode of finally saying goodbye to Carl, things had to slow down.  Simon is basically serving as the IRS of the apocalypse.  He came to collect debt from Jadis.  There really wasn’t too much of note in this episode, but am I the only one wondering……WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HEATH?

Finally, we’ve reached the last two episodes of the season of The Bachelor.  Arie has narrowed it down to two women, in what will finish as one of the worst seasons in the 22 the show has aired.  Lauren B says there aren’t words to describe how much she loves Arie.  However, if there were, she wouldn’t even know how to use them.  She’s a finalist, and she’s boring as hell.  If Kendall killed and stuffed Lauren like the rest of her taxidermy, I don’t think Arie would even know the difference.  I could swear Arie and Lauren were about to get in a twin bed in that fantasy suite.  Becca’s ex should have been the bachelor instead of Arie.    That says a lot more about just how blah Arie is, than anything about her ex.  If Ross can find Becca K in Peru, than why can’t Bekah M’s mom find her in NorCal?  Rumor has it that Arie did more flip flopping than Mitt Romney before the show ended.  I guess we’re about to find out.



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