August 7, 2017
I’m that guy. That’s right. I’m the grumpy Dodger fan that finds a way to remain skeptical of their World Series chances, even after putting together the best 50-game stretch in the last 100 years of baseball. How can you blame me though? The team hasn’t won the World Series since 1988, while their middle relief and lack of starting pitching depth has let them down in the last four years of postseason play. I’m not so sure that Tony Watson or Tony Cingrani can fix that relief problem, given their struggles against lefties this year. Cingrani sounds better suited to be Italian seasoning on chicken, rather than a Major League pitcher. As for Yu Darvish, he looked great in his debut, but knowing the Dodgers’ luck, he’ll probably pick up a blister shaking hands with Rich Hill and Brandon McCarthy. Maybe Andrew Friedman should have acquired Steve Bartman at the deadline as a scapegoat if the Dodgers come up short in the playoffs.
Meanwhile, the trade deadline came and went in disappointing fashion for the Angels. The Halos are like a drunk ugly guy at the party who can’t get a ride home, but isn’t good looking enough to find a girl to hook up with. They tried to get prospects for some of their relievers, but their assets weren’t good enough to help replenish their disastrous farm system. They also aren’t nearly talented enough to compete for an AL Wild Card spot, let alone the AL West title. It’s no wonder the Angels have no choice but to keep sticking Albert Pujols in the middle of their batting order, and Ricky Nolasco on the mound. They have no better alternatives. It would also be nice if Kole Calhoun didn’t step out of the batters box after every pitch. The man has become the human rain delay.
Doc Rivers is out as head of basketball operations for the Clippers, but will remain coach. That should insure that the Clippers will miss the playoffs next season. Austin Rivers is probably wondering whether or not he’ll be traded anytime soon. In all seriousness though, Doc Rivers trusts Lawrence Frank quite a bit, so I’m not sure how much they will disagree on issues anyway. Doc also isn’t going to be interested in sticking around long if the Clippers miss the playoffs and are closer to a rebuild. In any case, I think it’s safe to say that Danilo Gallinari plays and punches like a Clipper. He couldn’t have begun his Clipper career in more typical fashion by breaking his hand on another player’s face. He and Blake Griffin should call themselves the orthopedic front court duo.
Just one week into NFL training camp, the Chargers have lost rookie offensive lineman Forrest Lamp to a torn ACL. You can take the Chargers out of San Diego, but you can’t take the injuries out of the Chargers. Good thing GM Tom Telesco claimed his focus was on drafting players that he thought would remain healthy. 1st round pick Mike Williams is going to be hampered by a back injury this year as well, so the Bolts are clearly in mid-season form. The Chargers not only can’t seem to get their draft picks right, but they also can’t seem to get their birthday’s right either. They wished Williams a happy birthday when it was really two months away.
It’s great to hear that the 2028 Olympics are going to be back in Los Angeles. Let’s be honest though, LA and Paris are really two of the few remaining cities that are capable of profitably hosting the summer games. Part of the agreement includes several hundred million dollars up front that the city of LA plans to use for youth sports. However, as a concession for deferring the games until 2028, LA could have extracted even more from the IOC, who really could have been put over a barrel. Instead of utilizing existing spaces at UCLA and USC for an athlete Olympic village, LA could have had the IOC dump money into a new Olympic village, which could have been converted into low income housing. That would help solve a few of SoCal’s current issues like homelessness.
Let’s talk TV. The season finale of The Bachelorette goes down tonight on ABC. However, the story of last week was the Men Tell All, which was extremely uncomfortable. That episode was as dramatic as when Scaramucci got canned in the Oval Office, but with more attractive people. Lee got absolutely crushed on national television, and spent two hours trying to avoid saying “I’m a racist.” What happened to his thick southern boy accent? Chris Harrison didn’t exactly help Lee’s cause either by putting him on blast by showing some of his previously racially insensitive tweets to the audience. I’m still not sure if ABC should send a memo out to the public apologizing for casting a racist, or if they meant to do this to give us what they thought would be great entertainment. Meanwhile, DeMario clearly missed the memo that he was supposed to wear a suit to the show. He looked like he was getting ready to pick up a shift at the Olive Garden when it was over. There should be a Men Tell All show for all the people Donald Trump has fired in the last six months.
Then there was Sharknado 5, which went down on SyFy last night. Once again, this thing nearly broke the internet, dominating Twitter. I know what you’re thinking: a tornado with sharks could never happen. However, a Sharknado is ten times more likely than the Rams or Chargers making the playoffs, and far more realistic than CNN’s reporting. I’ve gotta hand it to the producers. They found a way to offend nearly every country in a two hour period. I feel like Tara Reid’s entire script was her yelling “aaaaaahhhhhh” for the whole movie. Where can I get one of those Gil helmets for Halloween? So many people died in Sharknado 5, I was beginning to think i was watching Game of Thrones. More on that in a moment. Of course they are coming out with Sharknado 6 next summer. If Ms. Piggy and Michael Jackson had a baby, it would grow up looking like this.
Finally, what an unbelievable episode of Game of Thrones last night on HBO. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if that is the case. I love how most people watching the episode probably weren’t even phased by the fact thousands of men were burned alive, yet the dragon took one spear and everybody was horrified. I was most concerned that we could lose Dany because no significant character had died recently. However, I did not want to see Jamie die either, which is ironic, because most of us probably have a soft spot for the guy that pushed a ten year old boy out the window when this whole thing started. Speaking of that 10 year old boy, Bran is starting to get on my nerves. He’s like your weird emo friend who you just can’t talk to anymore after he’s taken one philosophy class in college. Arya is getting way too cocky with her sword skills. I have a feeling it might actually get her killed. Poor Sansa, all of her siblings have super powers yet what is hers? Attracting terrible men? Robert Baratheon once said only a fool would meet the Dothraki in the open field battle. I think we all know what he meant after that episode. Do you realize that there has been a battle in every episode this season? Do you realize how wild the next three episodes are going to be? I don’t know how I’m going to wait another week for this. Writing in a television series might have never been this good.