Monday Morning Coffee


July 27th, 2015

It’s that time of year where sports fans have to try things like going outside to actually entertain themselves.  Fortunately, Shaquille O’Neal has given us something to talk about.  He sparked a debate on social media last week between himself and Scottie Pippen, claiming that a Lakers all-time team of himself, Kareem, Kobe, and Elgin Baylor, and Magic would destroy a Bulls team of D-Rose, MJ, Scottie, Rodman, and Horace Grant.  Shaq claimed the Lakers would win by 50, which obviously Pippen disagreed with.  Ok fine, I’ll play along Shaq.  I think the Lakers win a close one, but there are some awkward match ups.  Magic would have a major size advantage on Rose, although, he might not have the easiest time defending him.  MJ has the slightest of edges on Kobe, which is canceled out by Baylor’s slight edge on Pippen.  I’m not really sure how Grant and Rodman can guard Shaq and Kareem, but then again, how do those two play together?  Shaq should have put Kobe at the 3 and Jerry West instead of Baylor, but that just goes to show you how many great players have played for the Lakers.  They would have Elgin Baylor and Wilt Chamberlain coming off the bench!  We’re talking about 4 of the top 10 players in NBA history on the floor together.  That volume of talent alone makes me want to give LA the nod over Chicago.  I think NBA 2K is the only way to settle this.

Speaking of the Lakers, it never surprises me how people constantly criticize Kobe as a teammate.  A few weeks ago, everyone was all over Kobe’s ass for not having a solid recruiting pitch to big time free agents like LaMarcus Aldridge.  Some of you actually thought Kobe should just shut his mouth so he didn’t risk giving off any kind of bad impression.  Just a few weeks later, Kobe gets three new teammates in Brandon Bass, Roy Hibbert, and Lou Williams, and those same people are criticizing Kobe for not reaching out to them.  So is he supposed to speak or not at all? This is more confusing than Caitlyn Jenner’s sexuality.  He can welcome these guys in October when they show up at training camp.  I admit though,this moment was funny…..

I’ve been saying it for years, but apparently the NFL does not read Jock Talk LA.  Football fans in LA are very apathetic toward having an NFL team move back there.  Emily Kaplan from THEMMQB.COM asked 100 locals about their desire for pro football to come back, and most didn’t really care.  That’s right, it’s been gone so long, a generation of people have grown up without it, and don’t even think they need it.  LA isn’t Cleveland, Pittsburgh, or Green Bay.  We have plenty of stuff to do here, and we sure as hell don’t need two teams.  Would we support a team? Sure.  However, if the league really wants a team here they should finance the whole thing themselves.  Frankly, LA gets to watch some of the best NFL games on TV every week.  Teams like the Chargers and Rams moving actually increase the likelihood of having more blackouts of the best games, while those two teams struggle to stay relevant.  This still isn’t as dumb of an idea as sticking a team in London or Mexico City.  Once again, the NFL has a great on the field product, but it’s run by idiots.

ESPN is losing talent.  Colin Cowherd is now leaving them to go work for Fox.  Before I get to his comments on Dominican baseball players, it should be noted that all this started with Dan Patrick departing, and finding his own success beyond the mothership years ago.  With the loss of Bill Simmons followed by Cowherd in just a few months time, ESPN is slowly losing its entertainment value.  It’s going to be providing us with people covering sports with the personality of a can of tuna.  As for Cowherd, I’ve always liked him, but sometimes he tries a little bit too hard to be too controversial with his constant discussions about socio-economics and how they are related to sports.  It was bound to get him in trouble at some point, and it did.  Colin loves to take things he doesn’t understand, like baseball, and tie them to a much bigger topic.  I really wasn’t even offended by his comments regarding Dominicans when you read everything he said.  However, he forgot how every word that comes out of a broadcasters mouth can easily be something offensive.  In my mind, that makes him guilty of stupidity.

Speaking of baseball, the Dodgers have a matter of days to make a trade to make them a real playoff threat, otherwise they might as well just flush this season.  At the moment, I’m not liking their chances of pulling off what they need to.  They already missed out on their chance to get Johnny Cueto.  Their best bet for a huge return would be to trade Yasiel Puig and Alex Guerrero, but for some reason they are still in love with Puig’s “star potential”.  Without Puig, I don’t see how they can meet the Phillies crazy asking price for Cole Hamels, or even the rental price of the Tigers’ David Price.   I’m thinking they’re to make some totally underwhelming trade for some limp dick starter or another reclamation project reliever.  Meanwhile, Howie Kendrick has been great for LA this year, but he said something pretty short-sighted things the other day regarding “armchair critics”, and how they shouldn’t be commenting on baseball because they’ve never played.  I guess Howie has never been to a restaurant and complained about the food because he isn’t a chef.  Or thought a movie was crappy because he’s never been an actor or director.  The fans complain because they actually give a damn.  Meanwhile, there’s probably a lot of MLB players that just don’t.

As for the Angels, they had a rough weekend against the Rangers, and they look to be in a serious battle for the division with the Astros.  This trade deadline is looking more and more of an arms race, especially in the wide open American League.  Although the Halos are playing better, they are screwing around with acquiring dudes like Conor Gillaspie instead of acquiring a real bat.  I guess when David Freese went down with an injury, Bill Stoneman thought what better way to replace mediocre hitting than with mediocre hitting.  The Angels injected some life into their team by calling up Andrew Heaney.  The Astros countered that with the acquisition of Scott Kazmir, and the Royals got serious about contending by adding Cueto.  The Angels need to keep up by calling the Reds for a bat like Jay Bruce.  The Halos window to win with Pujols and Trout isn’t going to be forever.  Hopefully they realize this before Pujols is reduced to a bench role while collecting his retirement paychecks.

Donald Trump is the “Sharknado” of Presidential candidates………

Speaking of Sharknado, hopefully you all watched the disaster that was “Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!” on SyFy last week.  Once again, this was terrible television at its best, and this pop culture phenomenon continued to dominate Twitter, resulting in 360,000 tweets.  It also resulted in some very improved ratings for SyFy, despite a slight decline in ratings from the 2nd Sharknado movie.  While some of you think the odds of a tornado forming with sharks in it is less than 1%, keep in mind that this is 2500% more likely than the Clippers, Cubs, Browns, or Jaguars winning a championship.  I like how the storm in the movie was so bad that it was actually tearing stone off of buildings.  There were also some tremendous celebrity cameo appearances in the film that were great as well.  Mark Cuban plays the President, among many others celebs.  To come to think of it, Chad Johnson was in the movie longer than his career with the New England Patriots lasted.  If you have yet to see it, I’m sure they will be re-showing it later this week, or even On Demand.  I know what you’re thinking though: if you want to watch a bunch of Sharks spin around and fall aimlessley to the ground, you’re better off watching a replay of 2014 NHL playoff highlights.  It’s worth watching though.  You’ll even find the special effects great.  For instance, we saw the Sharknado tear through a Nascar race, which didn’t even contain any Confederate flags.  There’s going to be a 4th one folks and why not? It’s July, what else could you possibly find on TV? Oh, and of course April is going to live.  They aren’t doing another one of these movies without Tara Reid and Ian Ziering.

April Sharknado


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