Monday Morning Coffee

December 28, 2020

The Lakers are off to a solid start after picking up a win vs the Wolves last night. Kyle Kuzma was so hot from 3 to start the game, he probably melted the slab of ice the LA Kings play on that was underneath the hardwood. The way the Lakers moved the ball in the last two games was a thing of beauty, and Marc Gasol is a huge part of that. I’m not sure if I like him because of that, or because his vertical isn’t much higher than mine, if at all. The best part of all though is that the Lakers showed last night that they can still defend at a high level. Losing Dwight and Javale, while adding Gasol, Schroeder, and Trezz won’t necessarily change that. It makes them different defensively, but not worse. I’d love to see more minutes from Talen Horton-Tucker, but watching this team play every night is a blast for Laker fans.

I didn’t realize that the Clippers had The Dream Team on their schedule. I mean they did play The Dream Team right? That’s the only way they could lose by 51 at home. Oh wait, it was just the Mavericks they played. I don’t care if they played without Kawhi. No NBA team should ever play that bad. Especially since the Clippers should be used to playing at Staples Center without real fans. It’s super early, and I still think the Clippers are in the upper echelon of the Western Conference, but there are certain things about this team that puzzle me. When this team mentally checks out, like they did yesterday and like they did in the bubble, THEY REALLY CHECK OUT. The results at that point are bad. Also, why did they give Luke Kennard a $64 million contract without seeing him play a single regular season minute for the team? I don’t even know if Kennard is going to be good enough to stick in the rotation on this team, let alone be as effective as he was last year for the Pistons. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Clippers loss yesterday was because Kawhi threw a party at his pad for his teammates on Saturday night with tons of strippers. Seems like a very Kawhi thing to do. The Clips might need to change their logo after that embarrassing performance….


The Rams offense was a total disaster yesterday, as LA lost to the Seahawks. The loss also gave the Seahawks the NFC West title. The offense was nowhere to be found for the 2nd week in a row. I don’t know if Sean McVay was calling plays while drinking eggnog the last couple of weeks, but every week I have no idea what to expect from this group. The decision making from his quarterback isn’t helping either. I’ve seen better decisions made while leaving the club drunk at 2 am than the ones Jared Goff made yesterday. This went from a team we thought might sneak into the Super Bowl, to a team that is hanging on for dear life just to make the playoffs. Don’t forget the bonehead move that Josh Reynolds made yesterday just handing the ball back to the Seahawks late in the game. This team’s best hope is to get Cam Akers back from injury to ignite their run game, and then hopefully get enough solid throws from Goff to get by. The good news is that their defense is elite and can keep them in games. In any case, I’m preparing myself for the worst with the Rams in the coming week or two at most.

The Chargers took down the Broncos yesterday. The Bolts are winning games just in time to destroy their draft position and give them an excuse to keep Anthony Lynn as their head coach. Yesterday’s game was probably more aggravating than the 45-0 loss to Patriots. Lynn couldn’t even design plays for his superstar running back, Austin Ekeler. There’s also stretches where Lynn goes extremely conservative without unleashing Justin Herbert, who is already showing he is one of the most promising young quarterbacks in the game. It’s going to be fascinating to see if the Bolts succumb to public pressure to move on from Lynn after next week’s game, or if Dean Spanos stays with the comfort of not paying multiple head coaches. Stay tuned!

Elsewhere around Week 16 of the NFL, Alvin Kamara was in a giving mood, giving anybody that faced him in fantasy another reason to drink in 2020, and giving the Saints a win. The Raiders lost to the Dolphins in the most “Raiders gonna Raider” way. It turns out the Lions suck just as much without coaches, who were out with COVID in their loss to the Bucs. The Cardinals lost to the 49ers, and Cliff Kingsbury is calling plays like a 12-year-old playing Madden on XBOX. That Jets are such a horrible franchise, they can’t even lose correctly, as they beat the Browns and ended their hopes of drafting Trevor Lawrence. The Falcons lost to the Chiefs on a missed field goal from Younghoe Koo which makes perfect sense: he’s a former Charger. Philip Rivers had to wrangle all 12 of his children on Christmas morning, but couldn’t wrangle a win for the Colts against the Steelers. Mitch Trubisky is suddenly a really good quarterback, as the Bears dominated the Jags. The Bengals beat the Texans in what should have been called “The Injury Bowl”. The Ravens woke up from their season long nap to beat the Giants, but may not make the playoffs. The WFT made their fans say “WTF” after losing to the Panthers. The Cowboys beat the Eagles and can still win the NFC East, but the division is so bad they shouldn’t even be allowed to host Christmas dinner, let alone a playoff game.

It feels like UCLA Basketball hasn’t played since Dan Guerrero had hair on his head. The Bruins had their game at Oregon postponed, after a couple of officials tested positive for COVID-19. UCLA is going to have to play really well in conference play since they don’t have the opportunity to get any signature wins against non-conference opponents. I see tons of potential in this group and feel like on some days they can play with anybody in the country. However on other days, it feels like Sean McVay is running things while drinking spiked eggnog. Up next is Utah on Thursday, and the Bruins need to start banking wins ASAP!

So the Trojans decided to decline an invitation to a bowl game, which some people look at as an admirable thing to do. Do you really think they would have declined the bowl invite if it were a New Years Six Bowl? No way. This is all about the money, and trust me, USC and every PAC-12 school needs it right now. There’s no money in going to the Alamo Bowl or the Toilet Bowl, or whatever glorified consolation game they got invited to. The real question is whether or not Carol Folt will eventually take the handcuffs off of Athletic Director Mike Bohn, and let him hire a real football coach. USC is going to be kicking themselves if Urban Meyer gets away and goes to the NFL or to another college program. Until Folt gives Bohn the power to do his job to the best of his ability, the only thing you can count on is USC being consistently inconsistent.

Finally, The Bachelorette season finale went down last week in a big 2-night extravaganza. My man Ivan really got screwed. His fantasy suite was in a trailer park. The other dudes got real fantasy suites, even if it was just La Quinta. Look, I don’t agree with the decision to go with Zac over Ivan, but they both handled the whole thing gracefully, and with as much maturity as possible for The Bachelorette. I also wasn’t sold because we didn’t even get an “After The Final Rose” special. Dudes all over the US were definitely writing down Zac’s proposal after hearing how impressive it was. Credit to Tayshia for saving a season that Clare broke with a wrecking ball, and on a show with a budget that was mismanaged like it was Lehman Brothers. However, if Tayshia is worried about religion, maybe she should be on Christian Mingle when she and Zac break up. Tayshia and Zac are getting off easy in this whole thing without even having to answer anybody’s questions now that it’s over. I feel like it was the viewer that got the short end of the stick, but that’s what we’re stuck with in a pandemic.

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