Monday Morning Coffee

April 15, 2019

Remember when I said the optics on the Lakers were worse than they are? Nope, things are actually worse than the optics. Magic Johnson is a complete embarrassment. Now we know that they call him Magic because he disappeared on the job like Houdini. He quit like he was working at Walmart for a couple of weeks. This man beat HIV, but when things got a little rough he quit, and it came at the 11th hour of a plan that was 2 years in the making, which included sacrificing promising young talent. Meanwhile, Rob Pelinka is the exact equivalent of Littlefinger on Game of Thrones. You can’t trust him and he’s doing everything to gain more power. However, this is all on Jeanie Buss, who has nobody left to blame but herself. Now she’s looking even worse by not doing the sensible thing and hiring a President to clean house and build the organization the right way. This whole thing could be turned around in five minutes, but instead we’re in for more years of dysfunction.

Meanwhile, that was a cute little effort by the Clippers in game 1 against the Warriors. This team can start booking their flights to Cancun because they’ll be done playing basketball this season in just a couple of days. On the bright side for the players, Steve Ballmer probably rewarded them with Microsoft Office Suite upgrades. Congrats to Ralph Lawler though on a fantastic career. The man who has spent the last 40 years as the Clippers’ play-by-play man is easily the best thing to ever happen to the franchise.

To College Hoops where UCLA finally ended weeks of embarrassment and hired Mick Cronin as their new basketball coach. To his credit, Cronin already seems very likeable, and you can be sure his team’s are going to play very hard nosed defense. However, the spotlight should be on just how bad of a job Dan Guerrero has done with both the Football and Basketball program, and the embarrassment continued during last week’s press conference introducing Cronin. Guerrero said there was never going to be a consensus among fans about anything. That’s just silly because every UCLA fan knows he’s doing a terrible job. Too bad the Chancellor can’t see this because he’s already working on an extension with him. If only Guerrero would be one to pay the price for some of the “cash-for-admission” scandal. The University would only be so lucky.

Looks like things are going exactly according to plan for the Dodgers. Beat up on all the crummy teams in the NL West, and then pretend like you can hang against the rest of the NL. That’s exactly how it has looked after getting dismantled by the Cardinals and Brewers in the past week. I’m sure if you ask Andrew “Small Market” Friedman, or Stan “I won 14 Division Titles but only 1 World Series” Kasten, they won’t be worried at all. With Clayton Kershaw coming back tonight, the Dodgers better hope he looks like an ace, because their entire pitching staff has been beaten like a drum lately.

Meanwhile, Mike Trout needs to get back in the lineup fast to keep the Angels from being eliminated from the postseason just a few weeks into the season. Imagine how much easier this would be if half the Halos’ lineup weren’t hitting like they were swinging blindfolded at a Pinata. Most of these guys aren’t even hitting above the Mendoza Line. This feels like it’s going to be a very long season.

We’ve been waiting about a decade, but now we can finally say it. Tiger is back! He finally won another major. It was wonderful to see. Golf needed it badly. As talented as many of the PGA’s up and comers are, none of them are must watch like Tiger. It was greatness on display yesterday, and that’s why we watch sports. Also, for the guy that wants to dislike Tiger because he cheated on his wife, you probably need to stop watching sports if you can’t separate the performance from the person. I have come to grips with this concept. For example, Kevin Durant the basketball player is a bitch. However, Kevin Durant the person is also a bitch.

Finally, the final season of Game of Thrones premiered last night on HBO. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. That dragon waking up reminded me of what I look like trying to wake up for work on Monday morning. Not sure who would win a staring contest between Bran and that dragon since neither blink. You may not have put it together, but Bran said he was “waiting for an old friend” and knew that it was Jamie. I think that dragon also recognized who the true King was the moment Jon rode him. Jon was doing some serious incest math when he found out that he was the true King. It’s great to have the show back, but I’m shocked that it was only 1 hour, and that not that much happened. I expected some rapid plot development, and I sure hope it will pick up next week, as it did last season.

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