April 2, 2018
The Dodgers managed to salvage a split from the Giants over the weekend, but their offense was pathetic for half the series. It was like I was watching games 8-11 of the World Series. I could swear I saw Dave Roberts ask the ump for the ball after the Dodgers finally got on the scoreboard yesterday. Good thing the Giants offense is total garbage. When is Andrew Friedman’s computer going to notify him that Andrew Toles needs to be brought up and Joc Pederson needs to be sent to the minors? That computer must have some kind of a virus. Toles might end up being the next Chris Taylor, but I’m sure it’s going to take the Dodgers forever to realize that.
Meanwhile, Angel fans are so excited about Shohei Ohtani’s debut, they are all planning on going to Nobu sushi and spending $500 on an 8-piece tuna roll. Ohtani looked far more polished than he did during his spring training debacle. He’s yet to tap into his potential as a hitter, but that may only be a matter of time. The rest of the offense looked great too, but Cam Bedrosian is a complete train wreck out of the bullpen. Mike Scioscia must be planning on blowing a lot of games by trotting Bedrosian out to the mound every couple of nights.
To college basketball where the magic is over for Loyola, which lost to Michigan. It got so bad at the end, Sister Jean left early to go do some drugs with Bill Walton. If I took a shot for every time Sister Jean was mentioned in the broadcast, I’d be dead in five minutes. She became the the Lavar Ball of the NCAA Tournament when it was over. Meanwhile, Villanova hit so many threes on Saturday night, it was like they became the Golden State Warriors. If this continues tonight in the Finals, Kevin Durant might ask to be traded there. The Cats are the easy pick tonight.
The New York Giants have asked for two 1st round picks in exchange for Odell Beckham Jr. What the hell are the Rams waiting for? Odell is the superstar to put the Rams over the top and the clear-cut favorites to win the NFC. I am completely aware that Odell would make the Rams locker room more explosive than a stick of dynamite. However, the Rams rebuilt their team in 18 months. Unless you are the Cleveland Browns, if you have the right front office in place, you can rebuild an NFL team in no time at all. The Rams have a two year window to contend with Goff, Gurley, and Donald on cheap deals. Take advantage of it now, and even if this team is an explosive disaster, it will be spectacularly entertaining to watch.
It’s too bad the Lakers were bombed with injuries at the end of the season. Had that not happened, they might have had a real chance to finish with a .500 record. I don’t believe for a second the Lakers have any chance at signing anybody in the free agent class of 2019. If they are going to have a big summer, it has to happen this July, but they might have tough decisions to make. The question is how much to pay Julius Randle. He’s playing like Shaq right now, but once he gets paid, will he start hanging out at Fat Burger like Shaq did later in his career? I’m also not sure what the Lakers do if Kawhi Leonard becomes available for a trade this summer. It would probably take Ingram, Lonzo, Kuzma, the Laker Girls, and the Playboy magazine with Jeanie Buss to acquire Kawhi. That’s a high price to pay whether or not the Lakers can get Lebron. In any case, if the Lakers don’t make the playoffs next year, we should be supremely disappointed.
I think it’s safe to say the Clippers playoff chances are toast after yesterday’s loss to the Pacers. The irony of it is, I don’t think Steve Ballmer and Jerry West actually wanted the team to make the postseason, because now they are going to end up with two lottery picks. I’m sure they’d happily trade Doc Rivers to whoever would be willing to give them another 1st rounder as well. They also wish they could send Danilo Gallinari to another planet. Signing him to a $71 million contract was like lighting a pile of cash on fire. It will be interesting to see which Clipper team shows up this summer: that one that was dumb enough to sign Gallo and give up draft picks in the process? Or the one that made a shrewd trade for Blake and decided to collect assets. Chances are though that “The Clippers Gonna Clip”.
So let me get this straight. The LA Kings had their biggest game of the season on Friday. It was a showdown with their cross-town rivals, the Ducks. The Kings lost 2-1 in OT, but Anze Kopitar said they could have played a lot better. Coach John Stevens said several players could have given more. What in god’s name are they waiting for? There’s 3 games left in the season! I guess nobody told them they might be playing golf if they don’t get their act together over the next week. Now it makes sense to me why the Kings are promoting Bark Madness this month. They have been playing like dogs all season.
Finally, another episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan to watch it later. How does garbage lady manage to keep her sheets so clean? She was trying to flag down that helicopter like I do when I miss my Uber. Of course Rick lied about trying to team up with the Saviors to kill that entire herd of Walkers. He was wearing his brown coat. When he wears that brown coat you know he’s going to murder people. He completely April fooled them. Negan looks like he has more human compassion than Rick at this point. It took nearly 8 full seasons for Carol to have a happy resolution with a child. That probably means she’s about to die. Speaking of death, I think just about everyone cracked the champagne after Jared’s death. I’m really looking forward to Negan’s next encounter with Simon. It’s inevitable in these last two episodes of the season that we’re going to lose another significant character. Nevertheless, looking forward to it.