Monday Morning Coffee

December 18, 2017

Are there Louis Vuitton stores in Lithuania?  Maybe that’s why LiAngelo’s lunatic father is sending him and his brother to play there.  I’m no fan of the NCAA and their archaic rules, but pulling your son out of high school and college when they are on scholarship is stupid, especially when their odds of being a professional basketball player are about the odds of winning the Powerball.  These kids won’t even get the playing time they need to develop their games.  They will be playing against grown men that know how to play structured basketball.  They don’t.  Neither LaMelo or LiAngelo have been taking classes lately, but they are about to get a course in culture shock.

Lebron is such a drama queen.  If you want to give Lonzo some advice, why not do it in private where the whole world can’t actually speculate on what you said? Lebron probably asked Lonzo if he could have his hairline, but I’m sure Lonzo would only agree to that if Lebron would be his new dad.  The problem is Lebron would never agree to that with a jumpshot that looks as bad as Lonzo’s.

The Lakers actually called a meeting with Lavar and told him to not be so negative? This actually happened? What happened to not caring about what any players parents think, as Luke Walton explained last week?   It’s totally embarrassing that Magic Johnson and Rob Pelinka don’t have better things to do with their time than meet with Lavar Ball.  Hopefully they bought him a one-way ticket to Lithuania and gave it to him during the meeting.

Gallinari must be the Italian word for “always hurt”.  Danilo comes back and five minutes later he’s injured again.  The Clippers hitched their wagon to a bunch of guys that are made out of glass.  When is Doc Rivers going to go on the injured list? The man clearly needs his head examined since he thinks he’s coaching a playoff team.

Horrible game on Saturday by the UCLA basketball team.  UCLA fans haven’t been this embarrassed since Steve Alford was named their head coach.  This team has no offensive structure, no depth, and it’s clear they are lacking player development.  Wasn’t UCLA supposed to be even better this year? I guess not.  The teams’ offense depends on three guards who can’t handle the ball or make good decisions.  It’s also dependent on big men standing beyond the three point line and shooting bricks.  They will get their heads handed to them come Pac 12 play.

To baseball, where the Dodgers finally made a big move this winter.  By big move, I mean they traded one pile of garbage for another to get under the luxury tax.  They also managed to piss off the Mexican community in LA by trading Adrian Gonzales.   I do hope that Matt Kemp does get a shot to stick with the Dodgers this year though, because he did love being a Dodger when he was here.  That’s probably unlikely though.  This move is supposedly all about the 2018 free agent class. Andrew Friedman said “I hadn’t noticed.  Is there a big free agent class next winter?” Why don’t you ask your super computer Andrew, since you rely on it to make every decision for you.  The Dodgers are saving all this money when they have plenty of it to spend, and it’s never been Friedman’s style to give out contracts more than $100 million and longer than five years.  You really think he’s going to go pay Bryce Harper $400 million? I doubt it.

The Angels say that Shohei Ohtani’s elbow issue “looks standard.”  Yup, it makes perfect sense why the Halos signed him.  His elbow looks as standard as all the other pitchers on their staff that needed their arms replaced.  The Angels are making some big splashes with the addition of Ohtani, Ian Kinsler, and Zack Cozart.  This isn’t the most ideal way to build a team, with a bunch of guys on the wrong side of 30, however, hopefully it will buy them some time to develop a decent farm system by the time Mike Trout is a free agent.

Stay positive Seattle. You still have lots of rain to look forward to.  The Rams should be arrested for assault and battery after what they did to the Seahawks yesterday.  The Rams are a serious threat to come out of the NFC and make it to the Super Bowl.  I feels insane saying that after thinking about where this team was just six months ago.  However, it’s true.  Nick Foles may be a competent quarterback, but he’s no Carson Wentz, so the Eagles are vulnerable.  The Vikings are good, but if the Rams played them again, they could hang.  They’ll have to play some tough road games next month, but the road isn’t a problem for this team.

After the Chargers lost to the Chiefs, they began writing their Christmas list for Santa.  The list included: Someone for Philip Rivers to throw to besides Keenan Allen and Marcus Peters.  More games against Nathan Peterman.  A logo the internet won’t make fun of.  People to stop calling them “San Diego”.  And finally, some fans that actually want to go to their games and cheer them on.

Elsewhere around week 15, the Raiders’ new motto should be “if we don’t beat you on the field, we’ll just stab you in the parking lot.”  After getting screwed on a couple of calls, that’s probably how most Raider fans felt.  I guess the referees are now measuring first downs with the help of index cards.    Marvin Lewis is leaving the Bengals after 15 seasons.  He leaves behind an amazing legacy of hiring criminals and zero playoff wins.  Jerry Richardson is selling the Panthers.  Hopefully he’s also selling all of Cam Newton’s post game clothing too.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *