Monday Morning Coffee

May 29, 2017

So the Warriors and Cavs will be playing for the NBA Title for the 3rd year in a row.  Who could have seen this coming? Oh that’s right…..everybody!  The playoffs haven’t been competitive, so I’m sure everyone is hoping that we’ll finally get a great series to end things.  However, that’s not going to happen.  The Warriors should just hold a fan contest with the winner coaching the team for the NBA Finals since it doesn’t matter who coaches them.  Golden State should win in 5 games.  Last year it took a Draymond Green suspension, an injury to Steph Curry, and a historic performance from Lebron for the Cavs to win.  This season, not even a great performance from Lebron can stop the Warriors, and especially not with the addition of Kevin Durant.  The games might be somewhat close, but the series won’t be.

Being an NBA reporter these days is easy.  Apparently all you need to do is come up with some suggestion and everyone will consider it a fact.  That’s what ESPN’s Zach Lowe did when he suggested the Spurs should try to sign Chris Paul this summer.  Apparently not many stopped to consider the fact San Antonio doesn’t even have the cap room to give Paul the supposed 4 years and $153 million max contract they could give him.  At the moment it’s mere $6 million a year they can offer.  However, just for a second, I’ll play along with the rest of you that forgot to use their brains.  Even if the Spurs could somehow come up with a max contract for CP3, and somehow maintain their current roster (totally impossible), they still wouldn’t beat the Warriors or Cavs.  CP3 is 32 years old, and isn’t leaving an extra $53 million on the table to go sign with a team that is far from a favorite to win the NBA title.  I guess this story is what counts for good journalism though.

Speaking of CP3, former NBA Commissioner David Stern played revisionist history a few days ago when it came to the the trade he famously vetoed in 2011.  Stern claims that the trade could have been re-worked but Mitch Kupchak “panicked” and traded Lamar Odom to Dallas prematurely, destroying the possibility of a deal.  These are some cute alternative facts Mr. Stern, but we know you are just blaming Kupchak to preserve your own legacy, especially since Kupchak is too classy of guy to even respond.  The trade never should have been vetoed in the first place.  It was simply the result of Stern succumbing to the pressure of 28 owners in the league complaining that the Lakers making this trade was unfair.  Apparently those other owners were unhappy that at the time, the Lakers were smart and they had money.  Meanwhile, they considered themselves stupid as well as poor.

After the Ducks were eliminated by Nashville last week, I’m sure Kings fans were lining up at the airport to greet them back at LAX to congratulate them on their loss.  That means the Predators and Penguins will be playing for the cup beginning tonight.  If you learn nothing else, just remember, it’s called “The Stanley Cup Final” and not “The Stanley Cup Finals”.  If you’re planning on going, you should probably go to games in Nashville, where it will cost you a minimum of $300 a ticket to get in, where in Pittsburgh it will cost you at least $1,000 to get in the building.  Plus in Nashville you’ll get some quality BBQ.  The real question in the series though is who will get the award for best actor: Sidney Crosby or P.K. Subban? I’m going with Crosby, but I’m also going with the Penguins in 6.

I know most of you are going to tell me that the Dodgers just told me to “shut the hell up” after taking 5 out of 6 games from the Cardinals and Cubs.  They were nice wins, but remember, it’s not always who you play but when you play them.  The Dodgers just caught the Cubs in an offensive slump that is so bad, high school seniors scored more at last week’s Prom than Chicago has of late.  If Brandon McCarthy, Alex Wood, Hyun-Jin Ryu, and Kenta Maeda actually stay healthy and pitch that way come October, then I’ll actually be impressed.  In the meantime, the Dodgers have their work cut out for them just trying to overtake the Rockies in the NL West.

The Angels are a perfect example of why baseball is just a weird game.  They have a bunch of nobodies pitching for them on a nightly basis, who have given up more home runs than any other staff in the league.  They are also in the bottom third of most offensive categories in the American League, consistently putting 3-4 guys in their lineup that can barely hit .200.  I wouldn’t even think Mike Trout’s greatness could overcome this.  In spite of all this and losing 4 of their last 5 games, they are still in the thick of the AL Wild Card race.  Hopefully Trout doesn’t miss any time with that thumb injury he suffered yesterday.  Imagine how much better the Halos would be if Albert Pujols lived up to his contract?  He typically reaches the maximum annual social security contribution limit ($118,000) after his 1st at-bat in every game.

Browns quarterback Brock Osweiler must be pursuing a new career as a comedian.  Osweiler claimed that the “proof is in the film for the last two years” that he should be Cleveland’s starting quarterback.  The only thing more hilarious than his comments was the tweet by former NFL wide receiver Steve Smith that showed his reaction……

What a huge missed opportunity by Italian Cycler Tom Demoulin.  Despite the fact that he became the first Dutchman to win the Giro D’italia, he blew a huge marketing opportunity.  Earlier in the week he had his lead in Stage 16 narrowed after pulling off to the side of the road to go to the bathroom.  Sorry Tom, I realize having to go to the bathroom while riding a bike isn’t all that comfortable, but when you are in stage 16 you go to the bathroom in your pants, explain it to the media, then you’ll have Pampers or an adult diaper maker calling you the next day for a sponsorship.  Instead, he gave this explanation….

Finally, The Bachelorette is back and the season premier went down last week.  After just one episode I can already tell that this season won’t be nearly as entertaining as the last season of The Bachelor, especially without Corrine.  I did enjoy her 30 second cameo appearance at the beginning of the show though.  Rachel Lindsay’s judgement is already in serious question, given that  “The Tickle Monster” and Lucas (a.k.a.- “Wahboom!”) have been given roses.  Meanwhile, Blake K got sent home, apparently for being the most normal and successful guy on the show this season.  It seems to me like all the brothas on the show are actually there to marry Rachel, while all the other guys are just there to launch their reality TV career.  For all those guys on the show that cried after getting sent home after 1 episode, you should have your man card revoked immediately.  Wahboom!

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