Monday Morning Coffee


August 12th, 2013

How many more amazing things can I say about the Dodgers?  They looked like they were in for a tough week going up against the Cardinals and Rays, but knocked both of those teams around like Walter White was in the garage last night (more on that shortly).  After sweeping Tampa and taking 3 of 4 from the Cardinals, the Boys in Blue have won 37 of their last 45 games, which means they’ve played .800 baseball for more than a quarter of the season!  They haven’t had a stretch this good since the 50’s, or when most of your mothers were sporting poodle skirts.  What an amazing comeback win on Friday night after being down 6-0.   LA looks like they might even hunt down the Braves for home field advantage in the NL Playoffs, but does it even matter?  They’ve won 17 of their last 18 games on the road.

The amazing thing about the Dodgers run is that it’s coming without Matt Kemp and lately without Hanley Ramirez.  I still think they’ll need both of these guys healthy come October to put them over the top, but sometimes I think Kemp needs to be placed in bubble wrap to avoid injury.  He nearly injured his wrist shagging fly balls yesterday.  Nevertheless, things are only going to get better when LA adds Brian Wilson to their bullpen in the next week, which will only add to their tremendous pitching staff.

As for the Angels, I’d like to take this opportunity to thank former major leaguer and radio host Jack Clark for informing us this past week that Albert Pujols previously took steroids.  Thanks to Jack, this morning, I can write about the Halos and not focus on how much they suck, or how their bullpen is a pile of rally monkey crap for blowing another lead yesterday against the Indians.

Clark proclaimed on his radio show earlier in the week that he knew for a fact Pujols took steroids when he was with the Cardinals.  He claimed that his trainer told him he personally had injected Pujols with PED’s, but after Pujols threatened legal action, Clark was fired by the radio station.  I don’t blame Jack Clark one bit for what he did.  Radio is about ratings, and Clark gave his listeners some very intriguing insight into what he knows about PED’s, whether you agree with it or not.  He did nothing wrong, and if the station is worried about the potential legal action against him, it’s very shortsighted because Pujols has no chance of winning in court.

I don’t know whether or not Albert Pujols used PED’s or not.  However, the reality of it is that it’s not unreasonable to think he did before.  Here’s a guy whose age some of us aren’t entirely sure about, his numbers are in decline, and his body is starting to breakdown.  Sorry Albert, you may be a stand up guy and a great person, but since many of your peers are documented liars and cheaters, we have a right to be suspicious.  If you have a problem with that, then maybe it’s your peers you should be suing.

On to college football, where USC dodged a major bullet over the weekend.  All-American wide receiver Marqise Lee suffered a shoulder injury on Friday, and was seen leaving the practice field wearing a sling.  However, after X-Rays came back negative, it turned out to be just a bone bruise and Lee is listed as day-to-day.  Maybe this injury will make coach Lane Kiffin re-consider using Lee as a first, second, and third option on every play, which he did last season, so his star player doesn’t get run into the ground.

I’m really looking forward to college football starting so I don’t have to hear anything else about Johnny Football.  I’m about ready to throw my television set out of the window if I hear anything else about this kid.  With that being said, he should be suspended by the NCAA for being a selfish moron, and accepting $7,500 for signing memorabilia.  Even though the NCAA rules are more outdated than The Dead Sea Scrolls, players know what the rules are, and know not to break them.  What makes Johnny Manziel even dumber is that he didn’t need the money, and comes from a well to do family.

Speaking of football, I’m excited about the start of the NFL season and all, but some people can’t even keep it in their pants during the preseason.  I walked into the office this week and my co-workers had already created an office pool for preseason football games.  Nothing like betting on a bunch of guys who will probably not even make it in the NFL.  Even better was my co-workers analysis of the Chargers for the one offensive drive that the starters played on Thursday night.  “Did you see Philip Rivers last night?  He’s going to be the best quarterback in the league this year!  He looked amazing on those three passes he threw!  He’s a changed man!”  Chill out for a couple of more weeks guys.

Friday marked the 25th anniversary of the Wayne Gretzky trade to the Los Angeles Kings.  This is usually a day of great self-reflection for me because Gretzky was my inspiration growing up, which not only resulted in me loving hockey, but loving sports.  As for the trade, I think it’s fair to say that both the Oilers and the Kings benefited a great deal from it.  The Oilers went on to win the Stanley Cup just two years later, while Gretzky created a new generation of hockey fans in non-traditional hockey cities, despite not winning a Stanley Cup in his 8 years in LA.  If anything, I think the NHL got the best of that trade.

NBC recently announced that Jay Leno will be retiring in February of 2014, and Jimmy Fallon will be taking over the Tonight Show at that point.  Wait a second, I’ve seen this movie before, and it ended when Leno stole back his late night show from Conan O’Brien a few years ago.  Leno is still the #1 late night talk show host, and I can’t imagine that he will be leaving television in just 6 months from now.  Fox could bring in Leno for a late night show, and that’s bad news for Fallon.  Not only would he have to replace a legend, but he would have to compete with him as well!

I can’t believe that SyFy’s Sharknado was actually shown in theaters in the past week.  This just goes to show you how badly things are going at the box office these days.  The mockbuster had a special midnight showing in 200 theaters across the nation and was sold out.  Even more amazing is the fact that the Sharknado sequel, which is coming out in 2014, will simply be called “The Second One”.  That has to be the movie equivalent of referring to yourself in the third person.

And finally, the season premier of Breaking Bad last night was phenomenal.  Spoiler alert coming for those of you who have it on DVR, but just when you think the show that could have ended, it finds a way to keep rolling.  I expected these final 8 episodes to start moving at the pace of a crawl and then end the series in explosive fashion.  Instead, the writers of the show created an incredible showdown at the end of the episode between Walter White (played by Brian Cranston) and his brother in law Hank Schrader (played by Dean Norris).  Hank punches Walter in the face in his own garage after confronting him about his transformation into criminal mastermind “Heisenberg”.  The show comes to a chilling close when Hank says “I don’t even know who I’m talking to”, and Walt replies “maybe your best course would be to tread lightly”.  This is just another example of how the show has done an amazing job developing a character who has transformed from a nerdy science teacher, into a brilliant criminal monster.  There are still many questions to be answered in the final 7 episodes, such as what Walt will do with the poisonous ricin vial he has, and why he has a machine gun.  The next 7 weeks should be some great TV.






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