Monday Morning Coffee

Halos Collision

June 17th, 2013

Well folks, it’s that time of the week where I remind you all how much our So Cal baseball teams stink.  The Angels found a way to be pathetic on and off the field this weekend.  The Angels were promoting Yankees reliever Mariano Rivera coming to town this weekend, and even gave out collectible certificates commemorating his career.  Are you kidding?  Don’t we have enough douchy Yankee fans that are showing up to the Big A when NY comes to town?  Arte Moreno must be getting desperate to fill all the empty seats at the stadium.

The team was equally as horrible on the field yesterday as well, with a 6-5 loss against the Yankees.  Once again, Jered Weaver looked more like Sigourney Weaver after getting lit up for 5 runs and 7 hits in 6 innings of work.  The Halos tried to rally, but Albert Pujols proved that $250 million just doesn’t buy what it used to, when he struck out with the bases loaded to end the game. One a positive note, Josh Hamilton’s batting average didn’t drop any further, and that’s a relief because Mike Scioscia kept him chained to the bench.  Oh by the way, Torii Hunter is making half of what Hamilton is this year, and he’s batting nearly 100 points higher and driven in more runs.

Then there’s the Dodgers, who continued to take one step forward followed by three steps backward.  The Boys in Blue dropped 2 of 3 to the Pirates, and are now a season worst 10 games under .500.  This team couldn’t hit water if it fell out of a boat.  Yasiel Puig is hitting .479, and he can’t even save this team.  Don Mattingly did announced that Puig is going to remain in the major leagues for the rest of the season, so at least the team will be entertaining.  The Dodgers are 5.5 games behind the Padres, who have a payroll that’s not even one-third of LA’s.  Now I see what the Dodgers meant by “A Whole New Blue”.  Watching this season hurts more than blue balls.

Why is Clayton Kershaw so upset over details of his contract extension leaking?  Kershaw claims it’s a distraction, but let’s be honest,  we all need a distraction from this piece of crap season the Dodgers are giving us.

The NBA rumors surrounding the Clippers this weekend were crazier than Justin Bieber speeding through a neighborhood full of kids.  The Clipps were deep into negotiations with the Celtics, and were attempting to acquire Doc Rivers, Kevin Garnett, and eventually Paul Pierce, while giving up Deandre Jordan, Caron Butler, and some draft picks.  Both sides reached an impasse after the Clippers refused to put Eric Bledsoe in the deal.  The most shocking part of this deal would be the fact that Donald Sterling would be willing to pay Doc Rivers $7 million per year.  I’m still waiting for Sterling to call the deal off when he finds out it’s really Doc Rivers and not Doctor Jack Ramsey.

Even if the Clippers pull this off without including Bledsoe in the deal, the rumor that Blake Griffin and Bledsoe could be dealt in a sign and trade for Dwight Howard is hard to imagine.  Although Griffin and Bledsoe solve a lot of the Lakers current problems, Jim Buss isn’t going to help another franchise in his own building put together a super team with Chris Paul and Dwight Howard.  The Lakers end game is to try and acquire Lebron next summer, even if the chances of an asteroid hitting LA are greater.  Letting Dwight Howard go to the Clippers would not only reduce the Lakers chances of landing Lebron, but would also increase the chances of the Clippers landing Lebron next summer if Pierce and Garnett retire.  In other words, Jim Buss and Mitch Kupchak would have to be drinking jet fuel in order for them to trade Howard to the Clippers.

Speaking of the NBA, ESPN insider Marc Stein is a fantastic and reliable reporter, however, he’s a bitch.  Back in 2002, Stein refused to come on my Jock Talk radio show at UC Irvine, and he said “sorry, you are an Anteater, and I’m a Triton, can’t do it.  Great show though”.  Good reporting this weekend Marc.  You’re still a bitch though.

Phil Mickelson is the Kevin Durant of the PGA.  Mr. 2nd place!

Did anybody catch the Miss USA pageant yesterday?  Miss Utah stumbled and rambled through a question regarding income disparity in the U.S., and ended her bizarre statement with a  “to create better education” phrase.  This was not as bad as Miss Teen South Carolina’s legendary jibberish back in 2007, but still gave everyone watching a good laugh.  I’ve never really understood the concept of the Q&A portions of these pageants.  More often than not, it just makes these women look like morons.  It’s a beauty pageant, not a Model United Nations Conference!


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