Monday Morning Coffee

Utley - Dodgers

August 24th, 2015

There is a major nerd crisis going on in the Dodger front office, and a disaster happening on the field.  They got swept away by the A’s and Astros.  Meanwhile, the front office thinks they are brilliant but they are about to get slapped in the face when LA misses the playoffs this year.  Last week they acquired old man 2nd baseman Chase Utley from the Phillies.  This is a great move…..if it were 2008.  What’s the plan next? Convince Roy Halladay and Brad Lidge to unretire?  I guess Andy Friedman thought the best way to jump start the Dodgers offense was by adding another .220 hitter to the lineup.  To make matters worse, he hasn’t fixed the bullpen.  For all his brilliance, he can’t fix the easiest part of a team to fix.  It cost them multiple times last week.  I mean for god sakes, if the Dodgers are so obsessed with 19 year old pitcher Julio Urias (who they refused to trade for David Price or Cole Hamels), just bring him up now and use him out of the pen!  All of those Atlanta Braves rejects the Dodgers acquired have a collective ERA of 8.  What they really need to do is start using a trash truck to shuttle relievers from the bullpen to the mound.  5 straight losses and it looks like this team is running out of gas before September even gets here.

The Angels won’t be sending the Dodgers any fruit baskets after the Astros opened up an even bigger lead in the AL West over the weekend.  The Halos took a Ronda Rousey like beating from the Blue Jays, and now even the Rangers have blown past them in the division.  Andrew Heaney doesn’t look invincible anymore, and the Angels most reliable starters are bleeding runs.  2nd base is a black hole, and the cast of characters they acquired in the outfield has been useless. Oh, and the extra kick in the balls is that Mike Trout looks like he’s going to lose his reigning MVP trophy to Blue Jays 3rd basemen Josh Donaldson.  The Angels remind me of a ship that is slowly springing one leak at a time, and once one leak is plugged, two more show up.  Seems like they need a real General Manager this winter before they start fixing them.  It sure would have been nice if that GM was Dave Dombrowski.  Then again, it’s going to be tough to get a real General Manager in Anaheim with Mike Scioscia proving recently that he had more power than ex-gm Jerry Dipoto.

On to college football, where USC coaches still act like buffoons.  Head coach Steve Sarkisian was speaking to a group of alums on Saturday for their football kickoff event, where he completely embarrassed the program.  Sark must have stopped by the Sigma Chi house for a few keg stands prior to showing up, because he was totally liquored up and slurring his words while speaking at the event.  He then proceeded to drop an F-bomb while introducing his team to donors, then claimed that Notre Dame, Oregon, and Arizona State suck.  By the way, Sark is a combined 0-9 against Oregon and Arizona State all time.  He then said a number of other inappropriate things while cussing some more, and he had to be pulled off the stage by Athletic Director Pat Haden and John McKay Jr.  Annnnnd……just like that Sark is on the hot seat.  He’s been rumored to have had some legendary drunk nights at local bars in Seattle, and seeing him at an event like this just confirms that he’s a PR liability.  The Trojans had better live up to that #8 preseason ranking, or else Pat Haden is going to kill Sark’s USC career faster than Waterworld killed Kevin Costner’s career.

Over in Westwood, Jim Mora Jr. is totally screwing with Jon Rosen.  This freshman stud should have been named the starting quarterback ages ago, but Mora is clearly trying to create some competition among him and soon-to-be backup Jerry Neuheisal.  Mora went off at Rosen in front of the media during a practice last week, where he ripped the freshmen after doing one lackadaisical drill at the end of practice.  Good thing Rosen’s dad isn’t a famous rapper, or else Mora might really be danger of his star freshman quitting the team.  Rosen has actually had the benefit of going up against a very good UCLA defense in practice, which should prepare him very well for his first game action in a couple of weeks.  There is simply no way that Mora goes into week 1 with Jerry Neuheisal as his starting quarterback. Even Neuheisal probably knows that.  But Rosen’s ego put off some people in the recruiting process, and Mora is aware of that.  He’s doing his best to keep the kid humble, which would be tough for any freshman starting quarterback at a big time university.  I like the motivation tactics by Mora, but it wouldn’t kill the guy to be a little more media friendly!

If I hear one more thing about deflate gate, I’m going to throw my television out the window.  At this point, Tom Brady is stomping his feet saying he’s only going to accept a punishment for obstructing the investigation and not deflating footballs.  The league thinks otherwise.  What I really want is for a judge to go “That’s it!… Mr. Brady and you Mr Goodell…’re going to jail!”  On the field, you’re probably losing your mind right now if you drafted Kelvin Benjamin or Jordy Nelson in your fantasy football league, since both are done for the season with knee injuries.  Speaking of injuries, football is back, and that means RGIII is injured! He’s about as durable as an IPhone charger.  I can’t believe any quarterback has to play behind that offensive line.  It’s just about time for both sides to split from one another for the good of the Redskins, and RGIII.  So let me get this straight…..RGIII thinks he is the best QB in the league, Tony Romo thinks the Cowboys will win the Super Bowl, the Eagles signed Tim Tebow, and Eli Manning thinks he should be the highest paid Quarterback? The league needs to drug test the entire NFC East immediately.

Nice move by the LA Kings signing veteran defenseman Christian Ehrhoff.  The Kings were badly hurting for some veteran depth on the blue line, and they got it for a cheap $1.5 million.  I’m still surprised that the Rangers took a chance on Jarret Stoll after he got busted for drugs.  I mean, they are taking a guy who loves dope, and putting him in a city with plenty of party action.  That’s like telling your friend that loves to sleep with Asians that he can’t do that anymore, and then sending him on a vacation to Thailand.

It’s amazing isn’t it? Caitlyn Jenner went from being admired for man slaughter to being arrested for manslaughter.  What a difference a space makes.

JR Smith is returning to the Cavs.  He celebrated by going to the bar and taking a shot.  And another……And another….

News broke last week that former Subway spokesman Jared Fogle is pleading guilty to child porn charges.  Looks like when Jared goes to prison, he will be tasting a different type of foot long from now on.

There was some good stuff on TV last night for a Sunday night in August.  First off, we had the Season Finale of Ballers on HBO.  I definitely love the show, and they should keep it going, but there wasn’t really a whole lot of adversity that any of the main characters really faced by the time the season ended.  It actually reminded me of Entourage, where the biggest problem facing the main characters was where they were going to go party.  In any case, it’s a show they can do a lot with, and should absolutely continue.  How likable of an actor has The Rock become?

Then of course there was the Series Premier of Fear The Walking Dead on AMC.  For several years, many of us have been watching The Walking Dead, and although we are hooked, we all wonder how the heck the illness and zombie apocolypse started.  After a 90 minute pilot that was the prequel to The Walking Dead, we have a little bit of an idea, but still nothing certain.  My only problem with the show thus far is that most of us are tuning in to get some answers, and there seem to be very little.  In fact, all we have seen so far is civilization right before it began to fall apart.  At the same time, a bunch of characters seem to consistently withold information from one another.  This is frustrating.  For instance, Maddie has a conversation with a troubled student who wouldn’t fully explain what he saw on TV, and what strange things are happening across the country.  I also get the feeling that watching this show will simply be like replacing one annoying set of teenagers on The Walking Dead with another set in Fear The Walking Dead.  The show has got my attention so we’ll see where it goes from here.

Fear The Walking Dead Premier





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