Monday Morning Coffee

September 16, 2019

The Rams handled business yesterday against the Saints. It wasn’t much of a fair fight given that Drew Brees left early with an injury, but their defense was phenomenal. Assuming that Brees is going to be ok though, I sure hope these teams get to meet again in the NFC Championship game this season. However, are we really going to have to hear more whining from Saints fans about getting screwed again on another call? I’m sure New Orleans is going to be upset. Gayle Benson will probably call the NBA office and demand more from the Lakers in the Anthony Davis trade out of spite, and demand an investigation by the FBI on the officiating. Look, yesterday was a bad call. Jared Goff really fumbled. The playoff game they got screwed too. However, the Saints offense did nothing yesterday, so I don’t want to hear any crying about the officials. Get over it and move on. Besides, the refs looked completely competent before the game…

What a typical Charger game that was. It’s like they are breeding their kickers to suck. Regardless of all the injuries, they should have won that game. Can Philip Rivers stick any of his kids on the offensive line or at defensive back? Better yet, can any of them kick a field goal? He only has 27 to choose from. It’s clear the Chargers don’t miss Melvin Gordon because Austin Ekeler is in beast mode. However, they clearly are still untrustworthy in close games, especially with their kicking issues. Only the Chargers could play in a soccer stadium, yet have some of the worst kickers in the world. Tom Telesco should be spending the next couple of weeks scouting every MLS team in the country to see if he can find somebody halfway decent to do the job.

Elsewhere around Week 2 in the NFL, the Dolphins are so bad, Roger Goodell has called the ACC in attempts to trade them for Clemson. The Jaguars lost to the Texans, but Gardner Minshew definitely looks like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite, and acts like him too by stretching in the locker room with only his jock strap on. Do NFL GM’s still think Lamar Jackson is a running back? If so, that type of logic makes them qualified to be the next AD at USC (more on that in a moment). Dak Prescott looks amazing and his bank account will be too very soon. The Vikings lost to the Packers, and if Kirk Cousins isn’t arrested for stealing money from Minnesota, then white privilege really does exist. I was going to bag on Cam Newton for laying an egg on Thursday, but the guy looks so physically beat up, wouldn’t be surprised if he pulls an Andrew Luck and retires.

To College Football where USC’s stay in the Top 25 was about as short as Peter Dinklage. The Trojans made BYU’s season by losing to them in OT on Saturday night. The ginger-ale was really flowing in Provo after that one. In typical Clay Helton fashion, USC had no offensive rhythm, their offensive line was pushed around, and their tackling was worse than a Pee Wee football team. I guess Kedon Slovis might not be the next Sam Darnold after all. The Trojans could easily have a losing record after the next 3 games against ranked opponents. It also looks as though President Carol Folt is planning a huge overhaul of the program after dismissing Lynn Swann (I mean after he “resigned”). Swann can continue doing what he’s always been doing, which is playing golf. Folt appointed Dave Roberts as the interim AD, and passing up Senior Associate AD Steve Lopes. Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if OJ Simpson ends up as the next Athletic Director knowing this schools ethics.

Meanwhile, UCLA is a total disaster. They were murdered by Oklahoma at the Rose Bowl on Saturday, in a game that was made even more embarrassing by the fact 60% of the stands were filled with Sooner fans. Chip Kelly is making Jim Mora Jr. look like Bill Belichick. There is absolutely nothing going right with this program. The Bruins need to pray that Kelly just gets so sick of losing that he quits. Hard to imagine with him swimming in money, but stranger things have happened. Not only can the man not recruit, it’s crystal clear that his system is more outdated than a VCR. Prepare for some major irrelevance for a while Bruin fans.

Let’s talk some hoops. The Celtics not only lost to France, but they finished 7th in the World Championship tournament. No not Team USA, the Celtics. We sent 4 Boston Celtic players. You think if we sent 4 Los Angeles Lakers we would have finished 7th? I don’t want to hear the media try to tell me how great this young Celtics core is again. The same Celtics core that was supposedly “head and shoulders” better than any other trade package for Anthony Davis. These guys should be deported to Siberia for embarrassing our country.

The Dodgers clinched the division earlier in the week, but the playoff competition looks absolutely miserable to go up against. Facing the Nationals with Scherzer, Strasburg, and Corbin? No thanks. Going up against the Cubs? Have you seen how the Dodgers are giving up home runs of late? The Cardinals? Nightmares from the past forever. The Braves? Not the same jokers they beat up on in the past. I haven’t even gotten to how awful it would be playing the Astros or Yankees. I also don’t care what Dave Roberts says: home field advantage if vital for the Dodgers. in 54 League Championship and World Series since 2001, teams with home field advantage win the series 60% of the time. The Dodgers are also 36 games above .500 at home, and only 8 games aboive .500 on the road. So don’t tell me it’s not “win at all cost” important Dave Roberts. No matter what the spreadsheet is telling you.

At least the Angels have figured out this whole tanking thing. They’ve lost 6 of their last 7, and they are shutting down players left and right for the rest of the season. I guess elbow injuries are played out with this team, so they are starting a new trend with lower body injuries. Mike Trout, Justin Upton, and Shoehei Ohtani have all been shutdown in the last week with injuries to their lower extremities. I’m not even sure having $34 million to spend this off-season can make up a 30 game difference between the Angels and the Astros. At least Mike Trout is a good bet to win the MVP.

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