Monday Morning Coffee

December 14, 2020

One one hand the USC-UCLA game on Saturday night was very exciting, and reminded us why it’s one of the best rivalries in College Football. It was back and forth, it had amazing plays, and it had two teams that just didn’t like each other. On the other hand, it was so symbolic of just how much the coaching is holding these two programs back. The Trojans have incredible talent with a coach who has no idea how to utilize it. Their offense is about as predictable as your computer getting a virus from downloading porn. Given the talent, this is mediocrity at best. The Trojans have been barely getting by against teams they should beat. As for the Bruins, they blew that lead as a result of poor play calling and a series of mental lapses. Those errors are the difference between this team being 6-0 vs 3-3. The turnovers in Colorado, the Hail Mary at the end of the half in Oregon, and every 4th and short vs USC showed this. When you pay Chip Kelly $24 million, you expect much better than that. It took a pandemic shortened season just to get this team to a respectable .500. That’s the sad state of these two historical programs that deserve much better.

To the NBA, where the Lakers got the pre-season underway this weekend. I don’t really like to draw too many conclusions from preseason play in any sport. However, I think it’s fair to say that the Laker bench should be getting some heavy minutes for the first several weeks of the season. I don’t want to see Lebron and AD do anything but get some light conditioning in against some scrub teams until Valentines Day. The team is good enough to collect some wins and stay in contention in the West while the their stars get much needed rest. Also promising is Talen Horton Tucker, who is only 20-years-old and looking like he could be solid contributor. I can see why he was overlooked in the draft. He’s got a weird looking body, and looks like he was assembled from leftover parts of 7 different people. I would love to see them add Pau Gasol to the mix as well, which would be an awesome story. Pau has to get himself into shape though, since he hasn’t played NBA ball in nearly two years.

As for the Clippers, they made headlines last week by signing Paul George to a massive extension worth $226 million. Getting that extension for shooting a three of the side of the backboard, and lying constantly in interviews is an inspirational story of people who fail upward. In all seriousness though, I’m going to give the Clippers credit for being smart here. This extension wasn’t about the fact they love him and want to see him retire a Clipper. It’s about retaining an asset they paid a kings ransom for, so they can potentially trade him for something down the line. PG is a talented player, who has shown that he is extremely mentally fragile in big moments, while lacking accountability. I’m pretty sure the front office knows this since they reportedly shopped him prior to signing him to the extension. I’d be shocked if he finishes that contract in LA.

To the NFL where the Rams lit up the Patriots like a Menorah on Thursday night at Sofi Stadium. If Cam Newton is going to rush for 171 yards and the defense is going to be lights out like that, I’m not worried about Jared Goff. Sean McVay now has four straight winning season in LA, which can’t be taken for granted. The Rams have suddenly morphed into a physical team. They play stifling defense and are now running the ball with authority. McVay is also evolving as a coach. I’m sure it pained him to run the ball 30 times in one game against Belichick, but he did what he needed to do. Even more amazing is the idea that this same Patriots team dismantled the Chargers in the same stadium just four days earlier.

Speaking of the Chargers, their game against the Falcons was meaningless for both teams, but the real question is whether or not Anthony Lynn will be their coach moving forward. One man who is extremely plugged in to the Chargers is my man Scott Kaplan, who now has an evening show on ESPN Radio 710. He also covered the team for many years in San Diego. According to Scott, he fully expects the team to retain Lynn, not only until the end of the season, but next season as well. Dean Spanos isn’t the kind of guy to go pay $10 million for a coach. He’s also not a “win at all costs” kind of guy. Considering he just gave Lynn an extension through next season, Spanos would rather contract COVID-19 than have to pay two coaches at the same time. That makes you think the Bolts are going to be locked into mediocrity, in a city that doesn’t really care about them for a long time to come.

Elsewhere around week 14 of the NFL, Josh Jacobs told us he doesn’t care about our fantasy football team, but I guess nobody told him those fantasy owners don’t care that the Raiders lost to the Colts. Mitch Trubisky turned into Patrick Mahomes against the Texans, which is typical for 2020. The Vikings lost to the Bucs, and Kirk Cousins doesn’t like that. It turns out Daniel Jones is just as bad on one leg as he his with two healthy legs as the Giants got beat by the Cardinals. The Jaguars are streaking! And by streaking I mean they’ve lost 12 straight after losing to the Titans. The Dolphins lost to the Chiefs, and Miami is going to need to hold tryouts with their fans with all the injuries they have. Watching the Bengals and Cowboys without their starting QB’s is like going to Ruth Chris with them being out of steaks. The Seahawks beat up on the Jets, and I haven’t seen the Jets look this foolish since last week. AJ Brown is not human…..

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UCLA Basketball is now 5-0 after taking down Marquette on Friday night at Pauley Pavilion. That’s 5 straight wins for the Bruins. Every game they’ve played since Mick Cronin took over is an emotional rollercoaster. The first 8 minutes you ask yourself “what the hell is this team doing?” The next 10 minutes you couldn’t be more excited about the potential. The last 2 minutes you find yourself saying “what the hell? Ok, good we got the win!” I guess that’s why Mick Cronin is more consistent than A Few Good Men on a rainy Sunday. You get the emotional ups and downs, but more often than not you get wins. This team is getting healthier, and slowly getting better. The Bruins also now have the Jordan Brand to replace Under Armour. Some will say that they will lose recruits because of this. However, I say they lost recruits because of Steve Alford. This can’t be any worse.

In baseball, it’s been a very slow off-season so far, but the Angels have been apparently trying to make news. The Halos were reportedly in the mix for James McCann, but “lost out” to the Mets. I’m not sure whether Angel fans should be happy about the fact they didn’t get this guy, or concerned about the fact they were willing to offer a career .249 hitter a contract worth $30 million. The Halos need to put every dollar they can afford to spend at this point into their starting pitching. They need at least two, and arguably three starters, and at least one of those could be had for $10 million. I’m almost dreading to see what moves actually happen just knowing what the Angels were pursuing, but only time will reveal this disaster.

Finally, the The Bachelorette is returning for back-to-back nights beginning tonight on ABC. Looks like the producers needed more practice controlling the lie detector test, as I’m pretty sure it wasn’t working once dudes were lying about their real name. Who the hell let Bennet back on the property? That guys has some real Ted Bundy vibes. Netflix is going to cast him as the lead guy in the next season of “You”. I have no idea what Riley shared. I would have an easier time understanding Chinese. I think ABC just spoiled things by showing Noah at “The Men Tell All”, meaning he’s probably not getting a rose. My biggest issue with Brendan , is that he takes like TEN FREAKING MINUTES to say a SINGLE FREAKING SENTENCE. The next two nights should be entertaining. I love how the producers really used a screen saver and tried to pass it off like it was an EKG for the lie detector.

Monday Morning Coffee

December 7, 2020

I’m not sure yet if the Laker players are happier over the fact Lebron James and Antony Davis signed long-term extensions, or that they can smoke as much weed as they want this season without the league testing them. I have to say that I was surprised by the timing and length of the contracts Lebron and AD signed. Lebron has never committed to this kind of contract with Cleveland or Miami, which speaks volumes about his trust in the organization. The same goes for AD, who likely committed to being a cornerstone after Lebron retires. The only bitter sweet part for the Lakers is that barring a sign-and-trade, it’s unlikely they will acquire a third star in the next two off-seasons. Then again, Laker fans shouldn’t be complaining, especially since no team has two stars as good as Lebron and AD, let alone three. Rob Pelinka and Jeannie Buss have built a very stable organization, contrary to all the negativity that was written about them in the past two years. Laker fans only complaint should be that they probably can’t go to Staples Center to see their team play for another year.

Meanwhile, as the Clippers opened training camp and there are continued questions about their chemistry and the dynamics of their locker room. At the center of it all is Paul George. This man has a growing reputation for lacking accountability, and it’s already on full display this season. George blamed Doc Rivers for not making adjustments, and making him play like more of a spot-up shooter last season. Doc may have his faults, but I’m pretty sure he’s not responsible for George shooting like Philip Seymour Hoffman in Along Came Polly in the playoffs. Ty Lue better have some transcendent leadership, because this looks like the same cast of characters that don’t like each other, and don’t want to do what it takes to win. Kawhi and PG must also be devastated the league isn’t going to allow players to go to strip clubs this year. I’m sure they will go back into “a dark place” without them.

The Rams got a huge victory yesterday against the Cardinals. Jared Goff remembered how to play quarterback, and the running game finally showed some life. More than anything though, the Rams defense proved to be unbelievable again, putting intense pressure on Kyler Murray all day. They forced a fumble and Troy Hill came up with a huge pick 6. When the Rams lead at halftime under Sean McVay, everybody might as well pack it up and go home. They are 33-0 at that point. That’s a Phil Jackson like number when he went up 1-0 in a playoff series. The Rams are back in 1st place in the NFC West, which seems to be changing leaders more frequently than babies change diapers. However, they better win their next two games because they are against a rebuilding Patriots team, and a terrible Jets team that isn’t even trying to win.

Another brutal game for the Chargers yesterday. Apparently the Bolts are not expected to relocate because of COVID, but all of LA probably wants them to anyway after that embarrassment against the Patriots. I guess Anthony Lynn loves the run so much he must have told his team not to stop it. There is no reason the Chargers shouldn’t be able to beat a rebuilding team like the Patriots at home, with the talent that they have. The team looked totally unprepared to play, their special teams were garbage, and their kickers have about as much confidence as I have in asking out Jennifer Aniston. The weekly disappointments are becoming predictable, and it’s only a matter of time before we see a coaching change.

Elsewhere around the NFL in Week 13, the Jets are relieved they lost to the Raiders so they can still draft Trevor Lawrence. Odell Beckham wants to know why Baker Mayfield can’t play that way all the time in the Browns win over the Titans. The Lions are probably wondering if they fire their coach every week if they can win after they beat the Bears. The Bengals put up a bigger fight in their sideline brawl with the Dolphins than in the actual game. Mike Zimmer might as well have asked Kirk Cousins to return his game check after the Vikings got an unimpressive win against the Jags. The Texans lost to the Colts, and they are wondering if they can still blame Bill O’Brien for their problems. Also, don’t let the Saints beating the Falcons distract you from the fact the Falcons blew a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl.

The Trojans may have gotten a victory yesterday against Washington State, but if I were Clay Helton, I’d be getting very nervous right now. Helton has skated by in a year where everybody has focused on the pandemic, rather than his mediocre and unimaginative coaching. However next week, if he can’t beat his less talent rivals, those wealthy Trojan donors may be selling their Ferrari’s and Beverly Hills mansions to come up with the $20 million necessary to buy him out. Frankly, If I were Clay, I might hope my team couldn’t play because of COVID because I would have a lot more to lose than gain from this game.

I never thought i would say this, but UCLA Football is showing some real progress under Chip Kelly. They are over .500 for the first time since he’s been their coach. This is definitely not what I thought a Chip Kelly team would look like by any means. I still don’t understand why the offense looks nothing like it did when he was at Oregon. Nevertheless, the defense is stepping up, and they are coming up bigger and bigger every 4th quarter they play. Now they might even have a great chance to beat their cross-town rivals next week, which would be a big statement for Chip Kelly to turn the narrative around. Now if only the PAC-12 Network could get people to watch their games, people might know this was happening.

UCLA Basketball picked up another win last night, this time over Cal. I realize that Mick Cronin is all about defense, and emphasizing play at that end of the floor. However, you still need to score to win, and you still need shooting. That’s why Jake Kyman needs to play more minutes. Since the middle of last season, when the Bruins started surging, it is no accident that co-incided with Kyman playing more minutes. He’s arguably the best shooter on the team, a better defender and more athletic than he’s given credit for, and his mere presence out there as a threat stretches the floor and creates more spacing. Chris Smith and Jalen Hill could really use that space on the offensive end. We saw Kyman as a threat in limited minutes last night, and here’s to hoping we’ll see a lot more of him as UCLA continues conference play.

Finally, the Bachelorette is back on ABC tomorrow night, as we get a little closer to Tayshia getting engaged. I guess the producers realized that they didn’t have a villain to work with after Chasen got sent home. That explains why they quickly pivoted to putting Noah and Bennett in a room together for a clash of the Titans. I like it better when Bennett was a fun loving, mask wearing nerd. Now he is the uptight dad in every rom com who hates his daughter’s deadbeat boyfriend, who is Noah. Zac must have the attention span of a two-year old. He admitted to infidelity when it was infidelity that ruined Tayshia’s first marriage. Bachelor Nation is ready to break out the pitch forks and tiki torches in protest after Eazy got sent home. Chris was so traumatized by his late night run-in with Ed that he is probably ready to quit the show, since we barely saw him in the last episode. Jojo really said “I don’t know” when Noah asked her how his hair looked. There’s 11 guys left and 5 episodes remaining, so Tayshia is going to have to start sending some dudes packing! Meanwhile, it looks like she just went shopping at Homegoods for the Black Friday sale.

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Monday Morning Coffee

November 30, 2020

The Lakers have already had a massive offseason, but things could get even more interesting. Anthony Davis has yet to re-sign with the Lakers. It’s not because he’s looking elsewhere, and it’s not because he’s still eating Thanksgiving leftovers. It’s because he’s waiting to see if Giannis signs an extension with the Bucks. If Giannis doesn’t he becomes a free agent next summer, setting up a scenario where Lebron and AD could take less money for a year so the Lakers could sign The Greak Freak. Meanwhile, the Lakers re-signed Giannis’ little brother, Kostas, while the Bucks are hanging in the balance with the super max offer sitting on the table for their franchise player. That’s just mean, and borderline trolling. More than anything though, I would love to hear all the complaining from other teams and the media if Giannis became a Laker. The league just spent the last 7 years slandering the Laker organization, not just about their performance on the floor, but their competence as an organization. It turns out it was all baseless, so nothing would give me more pleasure than to stick it back to all these people.

As for the Clippers, the reality of it is, they have lost talent, and lost depth this offseason. Signing Nic Batum would have been an amazing move 5 years ago. That has prompted many executives around the league to believe that they could trade Ivica Zubac, Lou Williams, or Pat Beverley for a point guard. Those might be the Clips most valuable trade assets, but what it could bring them back would be nothing more than shuffling chairs on the deck of the Titanic. The Clippers need a playmaking point guard. The players available might be George Hill, Lonzo Ball, or Terry Rozier. None of them give them what the team really needs: elite facilitating for others. A trade would simply be made more so for the purposes of changing the culture of the locker room. Perhaps it’s simply that the Clippers don’t want Lemon Pepper Chicken Wings as part of the culture.

Just when you think the Rams might actually be an elite team, they blow a huge opportunity against the 49ers. Jared Goff looks like Johnny Unitas against every NFC West team except the 49ers. The offense was so inept yesterday, the Rams had a better chance of scoring with Nick Mullens on the field, than with their own offense. That’s right people. The Rams just lost to a quarterback that looks as weird as the goblins from Harry Potter. I’m beginning to think Goff would play better more consistently if he went home to an ugly girlfriend. It wasn’t all Goff’s fault though because the running game has also been pretty non-existent in the last couple of games. Stupid penalty by Jalen Ramsey as well to cost the Rams an extra 5 yards, which made a difference on that game-winning kick. The bottom line is that the Rams look like a playoff team, but they are just as flawed as many of the other playoff teams in the NFC right now. That makes the entire NFC playoff picture a crap shoot for everybody.

Meanwhile, the Chargers lost to the Bills to fall to 3-8. The Bills are a much better team than the Bolts at this point, but it doesn’t make any of the things we saw any less disappointing. Anthony Lynn is now coaching not to lose, rather than coaching to win, which we saw with his poor clock management at the end of the first half. Even more bizarre was the play calling in the last minute, rushing the ball multiple times without any timeouts. The offense could be even better if they played in a much more uptempo mode as well, which would keep the opposing defense off balance. Joey Bosa single handedly tried to keep the defense competitive yesterday, but he needs more help and health on that side of the ball. Their uniforms were also not nearly as cool as the powder blue, and look like some sort of unlicensed knockoff you’d find in a clearance bin on Figueroa.

Elsewhere around Week 12, hope you enjoy turnovers for Thanksgiving, because the Lions brought plenty of them on T-Day, and it got Matt Patricia fired after losing to the Texans. I’m thankful the Cowboys give me the opportunity to make fun of them ever year on Thanksgiving with their often disastrous play, and this year was no exception in their blowout loss to Washington. The Saints should have let the Broncos borrow Jameis Winston since they didn’t want to use him in their win against Denver. The Browns beat the Jags, but Baker Mayfield still has more commercials than touchdown passes. The Falcons beat up the Raiders, and the Vegas fans must feel like they are in an abusive relationship with all their ups and downs. The Giants beat the Bengals and are now in 1st place in the NFC East, which makes them the tallest person in a land of midgets. Nick Folk is more reliable than a tweet from Woj, as he gave the Pats a win over the Cardinals. Adam Gase and the Jets scored scored 3 points in 2 games against the Dolphins, as Miami beat up on on New York again. Derrick Henry is a human bulldozer, and the Titans smashed the Colts. Kirk Cousins is thankful nobody will make fun of him this week in the Vikings win over Carolina.

Did the USC football players go out for a fun night at the Nine-O followed by some drunk food at Huerto’s? That must explain how all their scholarship players came down with COVID, and their game against Colorado got cancelled. God forbid that USC take the field without having any scholarship players available. As if their walk-ons aren’t worth a crap. I find cancelling that game an extreme disservice to those walk-ons that worked hard to earn a spot on the team. I would argue that USC should still be able to beat Colorado with those players. Well, maybe they would if they were coached by anybody other than Clay Helton. Helton is probably just stoked that another week is going by where he can’t actually be fired. Helton isn’t immune from COVID. However, he seems to be immune from being bought out at $20 million this year.

As for UCLA Football, I have no idea what to make of them after they beat up on Arizona. The Bruins appear to be better than last year, on defense in particular, but it’s not necessarily the Chip Kelly team you thought you would see. More than anything, they have taken advantage of a conference that appears to be softer than tissue paper. Arizona and Cal aren’t great, and they nearly beat a vastly overrated Oregon team. With the way this team is playing, they could actually beat USC if and when they play in a couple of weeks. That would be a big deal when it comes to the perceptions of Chip Kelly and Clay Helton. Frankly, Helton is probably hoping the game gets cancelled because of COVID since he has far more to lose than gain in that game.

UCLA Basketball got their season underway last week, and thus far it’s been sloppier than a Thursday night on fraternity row. They got beaten up against San Diego State, then needed 3 overtimes to beat Pepperdine. The defense doesn’t look quite as sharp as last season, and the offense looks even further behind that. However, I wouldn’t panic too much. UCLA looked pretty bad last season up until conference play. Midway through conference play, they looked like they could beat anybody in the country. The team looks like it hasn’t been able to practice much together given COVID, and looks like they need that time to gel again. You can see the shot making ability though of Chris Smith and Tyger Campbell, and how good this team could really be once they get themselves in rhythm.


Imagine spending $50 to watch a Youtuber, an ex-NBA player, and 2 senior citizens box. This is what it’s come to in 2020 for some of your entertainment needs. I like entertainment and I love Mike Tyson, but the people that paid for that fight on Saturday were the real losers of the evening. Nate Robinson got destroyed. The NBA season hasn’t even started yet and the Knicks are already taking losses. That’s also the first time we’ve seen somebody essentially die in the ring since Apollo Creed in Rocky III. Snoop Dog needs to do way more sports commentary. There’s a real need for him to just talk smack rather than listen to these polished play-by-play folks and analysts all the time. I realize this was just an exhibition, but the judges really blew it. Tyson won that fight and deserved better, hands down.

Finally, the Bachelorette went down last week and it’s back again tomorrow night on ABC. Suddenly everybody likes Ivan for Tayshia. Except nobody knew who Ivan was until last week. Chris Harrison must be ready to hang himself after dealing with all that Clare nonsense, and then having to hang out with Ed at 2:00 am. It’s almost like the producers did that just to troll him. Honestly, if Tayshia weren’t coming in the middle of a season with one of the worst Bachelorette’s ever, you might actually give her more serious consideration for the best Bachelorette ever. Meanwhile, there’s already rumors surfacing of Clare and Dale not even living on the same coasts, and talk that he was flirting with some girl outside a New York Bar. This relationship sounds like it’s going to last about as long as my first girlfriend, who I dated for 2 hours before math class in 6th grade. I’m still shocked nobody is talking about how big that bowl of ice cream was!

Monday Morning Coffee

November 23, 2020

The Lakers aren’t just winning the NBA off-season. They are dominating it. The defending NBA Champions just got younger, deeper, and more athletic. Adding Montrezl Harrell was a thing of beauty, and those of you who say he’s not that versatile or that great of a defender won’t be saying that when you see him playing on a front-line with Anthony Davis. Dennis Schroeder is the play-making point guard they desperately needed, and Wesley Matthews is a much cheaper version of Danny Green. Marc Gasol is a solid defensive big man who will help with spacing. Keeping KCP was critical too. I’m happy for Rajon Rondo, but I’m a little disappointed in Dwight Howard and Avery Bradley. Dwight’s departure itself isn’t disappointing, but him thinking he was coming back prematurely is the most Dwight Howard thing ever. Meanwhile, Bradley leaving the Lakers after bailing on them in the playoffs is absurd. The man should be forced to stay in 3-star Orlando hotel for the next 3-months with no room service and crappy internet to get his championship ring. Nevertheless, I don’t know if you’ve noticed yet but Rob Pelinka is really good at his job. He and Rich Paul are playing chess with the entire league right now, while everyone else is playing Chutes and Ladders.

As for the Clippers, they managed to save a little bit of face by signing Serge Ibaka, but I think it’s adorable that people think this was some home run signing. The reality of it is, the off-season has been a train wreck for this franchise. They lost the 6th man of the year to their cross-town rivals. JaMychal Green, a critical rotation piece, left them for the Nuggets. They had to overpay to keep Marcus Morris, who also hates playing with Paul George. They got turned down by Rajon Rondo, Kent Bazemore, and Kris Dunn. They still didn’t get the play-making point guard the desperately needed. In the last two days they’ve been rejected more than Urkel at Senior Prom. Meanwhile, all those people that tried to tell us the Clippers were building a dynasty last year are trying to tell us now that they have closed the gap between themselves and the Lakers. Those must be the same people who told themselves they had COVID last January, just so they could convince themselves of their own immunity.

Elsewhere around NBA free agency Dwight Howard signing with the Sixers just means that he and Joel Embiid are going to be in competition for who can tell the lamest jokes all season. The Celtics biggest move of the off-season was signing Tristan Thompson, which means the Kardashians are going to be attending all their games. I’m pretty sure you haven’t heard any leaks out of the Charlotte Hornets organization because Mitch Kupchak is probably still using a typewriter. I also love the fact that Mitch would rather eat $9 million by waiving Nic Batum than give the Celtics anything back in a sign and trade for Gordon Hayward. Once a Laker, always a Laker! Knicks fans spent the last week photo shopping Westbrook, Gallinari, and Gordon Hayward just to end up with Alec Burks, Nerlens Noel, and Elfrid Payton. Has anybody checked on Woj and Shams? Somebody send food and water ASAP.

To the NFL where the Chargers reminded us why they are 2-7 yesterday. They actually had to fight it out against the winless Jets to get a victory. This also happened with Justin Herbert once again looking like a generational talent all game. It’s like owning a McLaren, but having driving Miss Daisy operating it. Even in a victory, the Bolts walked away leaving observers wondering about the play calling, the decision making, and just plain and simple giving their fans more anxiety than 2020 itself. To be honest, the week was full of nothing but bad decisions, including Justin Herbert’s haircut, which now makes him look like he’s a 14-year-old boy.

The Rams are getting ready for a big showdown tonight with the Bucs. This is the Rams fifth trip back east this season. I’m beginning to think the league is just punishing Sean McVay for having a smoking hot fiancé. A win tonight would put the Rams in first place in the NFC West, and suddenly put them in the conversation for securing a bye week in the playoffs. This would also be sweet revenge for the Rams against Tom Brady, who stuck it to them in the Super Bowl two years ago. I’m shocked that Antonio Brown hasn’t torpedoed the Bucs yet, but it’s only week 11, so there’s still time for that.

Elsewhere around Week 11, seeing Carson Wentz vs Baker Mayfield was like watching two drunk guys fight each other in the Browns win over the sorry Eagles. Speaking of the NFC East, the Cowboys got their 3rd win when they took down the Vikings, and are probably ready to throw themselves a parade since they are a 1/2 game out of 1st place. Taysom Hill handed all his doubters a big fat L, as the Saints beat the Falcons and moved into 1st in the NFC. Congratulations to the Jaguars, who lost their 100th game under their current owner, Shad Khan. It’s those kinds of losers that really make Monday Morning Coffee what it is! The Bengals lost to Washington, and lost Joe Burrow for the season. It’s like they bought a new IPhone in the offseason, but didn’t even buy a case for it. The Dolphins lost and Tua’s starting job lasted about as long as the rap career of Vanilla Ice. Death, taxes, and the Packers always blowing leads against the Colts. That Patriots lost to the Texans, and Cam Newton needs to start picking more appropriate outfits for losses during the postgame pressers. The Lions lost to the Panthers, and Detroit scored as many points as you did in that game. The Titans beat the Ravens in OT, and Baltimore would have an easier time tackling a freight train than bring down Derrick Henry and AJ Brown.

The USC Football program is amazing. I’ve never seen a team that keeps winning and just looks progressively in decline each week like we are seeing. The only thing that could have made USC’s offense worse this weekend were if the FS1 announcers were calling that game. Utah had 9 new players on defense, and they just wrecked Kedon Slovis for most of the game. The scary part is that this was the best game USC has played. However, Slovis looks like he has regressed. He’s holding the ball way too long, and missing wide open targets. His offensive line isn’t helping either. What is helping Clay Helton though is the fact that every team he’s played has been playing their season opener. He is sure to survive another season, and keep this program cemented in mediocrity for the time being.

As for UCLA, you have to admire the fight they put up against Oregon. They nearly won with their backup QB, and with a bunch of guys out of the lineup because of COVID. With that being said though, it makes you wonder just how good Oregon really is, and also if Chip Kelly is playing the right quarterback. Chase Griffin had very little preparation time, and he looked pretty darn good. I wouldn’t trust Chip Kelly to pick the right ingredients for scrambled eggs right now, let alone start the right quarterback. We’ll see if there’s any real momentum to be built here, or if it was just a one week aberration.

To baseball where I will start by congratulating Andrew Friedman for winning the MLB Executive of the Year. Anybody that can assemble the team he did, win a World Series, and endure relentless jokes and criticism from me for 5 years is well deserving of the award. He is by far the best executive in baseball today. With that being said, I don’t really understand the rumors we are hearing about the Dodgers trading for Rockies 3rd Baseman Nolan Arenado. If the Dodgers are going to spend money, they should be spending it on starting pitching or bullpen. Trading for Arenado is like buying a Ferrari when you just need a reliable, but still nice four- door Mercedez. Re-signing Justin Turner, giving Gavin Lux a chance to play, and spending money on starting pitching or bullpen would be much more practical for LA. With that being said, the Dodgers have the resources to do whatever they want. I just hope they continue to exercise that power wisely.

Finally, the Bachelorette is back on ABC tomorrow night. I’m sure the Harvard PR department is crawling into a hole right now after discovering that Bennett can’t do math. He must have been a legacy admission. Chasen referring to himself as “wolverine” is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. That and the name “Chasen”. Chasen also needs to find a dictionary to find a substitute word for “smoke show”. Try playing a drinking game for every time he uses that word. You would be dead pretty fast. I like how Ed wussed out of the wrestling match using the lame excuse of a chronic shoulder injury & said he couldn’t even throw a football, yet he can lift heavy weights. Can’t fool me bro! Overall, nice to see Tayshia being open minded and giving these dudes a chance, unlike somebody else we saw earlier this season.

Monday Morning Coffee

November 16, 2020

I love how NBA GM’s are complaining they don’t even know the rules and dates when they are allowed to make trades, yet Rob Pelinka knew and was the first guy to make one this offseason. Pelinka is about to consummate a trade for OKC point guard Dennis Schroeder, in exchange for Danny Green and this year’s first round pick. Schroeder is a young, solid playmaker, and improving shooter. He’s got a reasonable contract, and fills a big need for the Lakers. It’s not splashy like CP3 or even DeMar Derozan, but it’s effective, and keeps the Lakers in line to spend lots of money next summer. The bad news is that it looks like they are going to lose Rajon Rondo to a team that is going to overpay for him. I’m sure many Laker fans are hoping they can trade Kyle Kuzma for a Playstation 5 and some games to go along with it. However, I have my doubts his $3.5 million salary is going to bring back a quality player, especially now that Green’s salary just went out the door. All of this is hard to judge until you see the finished product, but I think it’s safe to say Pelinka has a plan and knows what he’s doing.

Meanwhile, I have no idea what the Clippers are up to, but there’s a lot of noise coming from them. The latest is the idea that they could trade for Russell Westbrook, and maybe even swap Paul George for him. The idea of adding Westbrook to this team is like lighting a fire, and then trying to put it out by adding lighter fluid. The more interesting part of this story however, is the fact we keep hearing Paul George’s name getting thrown around in trade rumors. It came up in a Jrue Holiday trade rumor. Now it’s coming up in this Westbrook rumor. In other words, other than Kawhi, there’s nobody on the team I see as a certainty to return. Curious to see how this drama plays out.

Another super interesting story related to the NBA that came up is the proposal by Warriors Owner Joe Lacob to try and get fans in NBA arenas. Lacob is proposing something that could actually be a viable option for the event business in general. His proposal is to spend $30 million on rapid COVID-19 testing on game day for every fan in the building. The results of those tests would be reinforced with 50% capacity in the building, and with everyone wearing masks. I applaud the efforts of Lacob for pushing the envelope on this, and trying to be innovative. However, I question whether or not an extremely restrictive state like California will be allow him to do this. I also question whether or not there would be an appetite for the owners of these types of venues to spend $30 million just to fill them to 50% capacity. I hope the man proves me wrong, as it would be wonderful to see, but I think we’re looking at 2022 before we might see some normalcy to the event business.

The Angels finally hired a General Manager! Perry Minasian is the new man, and I’m sure you’re all feverishly Googling him to figure out just who the hell he is. I was beginning to wondering if the Angels we’re about to start interviewing season ticket holders for the vacancy, since it sure didn’t seem like too many people wanted the job. Congrats to Minasian who has actually worked in baseball for a long time and deserves a shot, and a man who also has a strong scouting and player development background. I’m just not sure if Arte Moreno has informed him that he will be doing all of the scouting and player development, since he’s going to be adding much of a staff underneath him like most owners would. This unfortunately is as good as it was going to get folks. There was never any Dave Dombrowki splashy name that was going to come given the circumstances. Considering Minasian will not have much of a staff, he’ll have an owner dictating things to him, and he’ll have a manager in place that isn’t his guy, if he can succeed he might be one of the greatest ever.

The Rams are tied for 1st place in the NFC West! You’ve gotta hand it to the defense yesterday, shutting down one of the most explosive offenses in football. Seattle tried to “let Russ cook”, and instead he almost burned the kitchen down. The Rams sacked Russell Wilson 6 times, and intercepted him twice. Jalen Ramsey also shutdown D.K. Metcalf, who had just 2 catches for 28 yards. There’s a lot of football left to be played, but suddenly you have to feel really good about their chances to win the NFC West. The Seahawks and Cardinals are really good, but they are all about Russell Wilson and Kyler Murray. The Rams have a great defense, they can run the ball, they are well coached, and they have playmakers on the perimeter. I’m suddenly not so concerned about all those NFC East wins. Here comes another trip back east though to face Tom Brady and the Bucs next Monday. This one should be fun.

Meanwhile, the Chargers did their fans a favor and just got dismantled early on by the Dolphins instead of disappointing everyone at the end. The Bolts looked totally overmatched in this one from the start, and this was the first game where Justin Herbert looked pretty ordinary. If the Chargers can’t win when he looks like an absolute stud, they have no chance of winning when he’s just a guy. The Dolphins are a solid team and even though people might not want to hear this, the injuries are just too much for the Chargers to overcome. You can’t lose Joey Bosa, Derwin James, and Mike Pouncey, and expect to win most of your games. Plus the team is losing running backs faster than Donald Trump is losing electoral votes. Say what you will about the disastrous finishes, but if the Chargers don’t have their best playmakers at the end of these games, it’s going to be hard to come out on the right side of these games.

Elsewhere around Week 10 of the NFL, the Eagles lost to the Giants and the NFC East winner should just donate their playoff spot to a frontline worker this year. The Packers look like they ate too much cheese in their lethargic win over the Jaguars. Chase Young handed the Lions an early Christmas Gift with a late penalty, and a Detroit win. Baker Mayfield wishes it rained hard every week because it actually made him look like a good quarterback in the Browns win over the Texans. The Bucs won and Tom Brady will probably get to eat one extra almond as a reward from Gisele. The Saints won and Jameis Winston got some playing time. I’m sure he celebrated with some of the finest crab legs in New Orleans afterward. DeAndre Hopkins should make that game-winning catch vs Buffalo his Christmas Card and send it Bill O’Brien. Big Ben and the Steelers dismantled the Bengals like they have every game they’ve played for the last give years.

To College Football where USC beat Arizona, in what proved to be underwhelming again. This must be the worst 2-0 football team in USC football history. What has happened to Graham Harrell’s play calling? I can only believe that Clay Helton is involved in it now. The Trojans must be trying to break the record for most checkdowns in a season. This could not be anymore painfully obvious the more we have to endure watching USC play: the have average coaching, and are producing average results. They may not have Matt Leinart or Reggie Bush level talent, but their talent is good enough to dominate the Pac 12 and to compete against some of the better teams in the country. The biggest win for Clay Helton this season is the fact there’s less games, and nobody will actually be in attendance to watch how pathetic he is doing. Congratulations for getting the best of 2020 Clay.

Meanwhile, UCLA actually had a great game against Cal. Of course this game happened on an NFL Sunday so nobody got to see it, and in an empty Rose Bowl. I don’t know why everybody made such a big deal about having to switch opponents at the last minute due to COVID? Chip Kelly wouldn’t have prepared his team a whole lot either way! You’ve gotta love how the schedule was changed so quickly like it was Sigma Chi playing Kappa Sigma on Thursday night before hitting the bars. Believe it or not, this is the first time that the Bruins have been at .500 in the Chip Kelly era. Credit to the UCLA defense for showing up in this one. We can only hope that come next week against Oregon they look equally as strong, but don’t hold your breath.

Congratulations to Dustin Johnson on winning The Masters! DJ was actually proven to be the winner in the state of Georgia, and miraculously no re-count was necessary. The man was dominant as ever, tying the major championship record by shooting -20. I’m not going to say something lame about Paulina Gretzky though and take the focus of his spectacular performance. I’ll leave that to Colin Cowherd instead.

Finally, the Bachelorette is going down tonight on ABC, and we saw what we think is the last of Dale and Clare last week. How do we tell Chris Harrison that we just don’t give a crap about Dale and Clare when he was interviewing them? I did get a kick of out seeing the look on Dale’s face when Clare was talking about having babies with him on live TV. Chris must be in the hospital though with a back injury after having to carry the show this season. The producers must have lost their minds when Tayshia said she can see herself marrying Brendan after two episodes. I’m not sure what the hell is wrong with Jason. Dude is acting like he needs therapy after falling in love with Clare for 5 minutes. Did she even have time to learn this name? Then again he probably decided to go home after he settled for a La Quinta vacation and everybody got served hot dogs and hamburgers after the game of pool basketball. These guys must be livid that they aren’t even traveling to good places, let alone getting any good food. Who is managing this shows finances, Bernie Madoff?

Monday Morning Coffee

November 9, 2020

The NBA is officially coming back on December 22nd! I know that feels bizarre considering the season just ended five minutes ago, but nobody can really be that upset about it. The players and owners need the money, they need to get closer to a normal schedule, and people need entertainment around Christmas. As for the Lakers being at a major disadvantage, a few extra weeks of rest isn’t going to make a huge difference. Lebron’s been doing this for 17 years, he knows how to pace himself, and his squad. Besides, right now, Lebron is probably just pumped he can go visit the White House, and not be served fast food. Instead, he’ll probably get fast casual food.

What is it going to take to get the Chargers to win a close game? I mean it’s getting to the point where we are running out of jokes about them to put on this blog. Even Shakespeare couldn’t script endings that are this tragic. I don’t know what more you want Anthony Lynn to do though. He can’t catch the football for his receivers at the end of the game. To a large extent this is just about execution. The talent is there. With 6 losses by 7 points or less it’s like the Bolts are nearly, almost, but not quite an elite team. Until we see it, Justin Herbert is going to look like a Ferrari that’s parked in a trailer park. At 2-6 though, it’s probably safe to say this team will be watching the postseason on TV this year.

Elsewhere around the NFL in Week 9, Tom Brady and Antonio Brown must have had a very awkward bus ride yesterday after the Bucs got destroyed by the Saints. That Giants-Washington game should have been included as part of Saturday Night Live. The Cowboys avoided a bloodbath against the Steelers, but moral victories don’t even count in the NFC East. The Falcons shocked their fans by actually holding on to a lead in their win against Denver. Even James Harden thinks Seattle’s defense stinks, as the Seahawks got beat the by the Bills. The Ravens roasted the Colts, and Philip Rivers will get roasted by his teammates for a pathetic attempt at making a tackle. The Texans beat the Jags, but JJ Watt basically told the media he’d rather be playing on Mars. The Chiefs beat the Panthers and Patrick Mahomes is so accurate, he probably has a career in darts if football doesn’t work out for him. The Vikings beat the Lions, and Kirk Cousins is going to call the league and ask if they can play Detroit every week. The Titans beat the Bears and AJ Brown should change his name to “AJ Beast”. Here’s a look at the mess that was the Giants and Washington.

To College Football where the Pac-12 is back! Although USC must have received a late notice. The Trojans played ASU on Saturday at the Coliseum, and it looks like they thought the game started at noon instead. That win was about as fortunate as it gets. Good thing for Clay Helton because now he won’t have to hear noise about his job security for at least another week. Kedon Slovis made a big throw late in the game, but that covered up a lot of warts. The run defense was weak, as was the run game, but Arizona State handed that game over like they were some 501C3. The win generously put USC at #20 in the AP Poll so Trojan fans can take that for what it’s worth.

Then there’s UCLA. There’s been all this weird stuff happening in 2020, yet UCLA still stinks at football under Chip Kelly so thanks to him for making us feel normal again. The first half against Colorado may have been the worst in Bruins history, and that’s saying a lot. At that point, I was beginning to think I’d rather have Joe Biden playing quarterback than DTR. I’m beginning to wonder if Chip Kelly thinks he needs to tank to get a #1 draft pick. He does realize he’s coaching back in college again right? This program has players that look like they have regressed, and look less and less motivated to play for Kelly by the day. I realize that UCLA AD Martin Jarmond just turned on his computer, but he’s gotta at least be raising an eyebrow at what he’s seen so far.

What an exciting Saturday night it was to be a Notre Dame alum, or a football fan. The Irish knocked off #1 Clemson in South Bend in double overtime, in arguably the biggest win of the Brian Kelly era. Also, for those of you trolls that want to point out that Trevor Lawrence didn’t play, you conveniently forgot that the Clemson backup QB threw for 435 yards, two touchdowns, and didn’t turn it over. How much better can you expect from Lawrence? Unless he can tackle somebody, it’s just as meaningful of a signature win. As for the rush of students onto the field, I realize that all these kids were acting like the cure to COVID-19 was beating the #1 team in the country. It wasn’t a great idea, as are a number of other things we do anyway for a variety of personal reasons (i.e. – celebrating your candidates presidential victory, going to a rally of your preferred presidential candidate, or protesting for a social cause). They are all risky given we are in a pandemic. I will say though that for as stupid as we all think teenagers and young adults are, you’ve gotta at least give credit to nearly all the people that rushed on to the field with masks on.

To baseball where the MLB offseason is upon us. That means the hot stove is already starting to heat up with rumors around the Dodgers, and specifically with Indians Shortstop Jose Lindor. The same can be said for Reds pitcher Trevor Bauer. In years past, this is where I would crush Andrew Friedman for not doing everything in his power to improve the team when he has the resources to. Not this year though. Friedman is a super nerd, but he’s shown us that they can easily acquire those two studs, but don’t need to. This would be like buying two Ferrari’s when you already have three in the garage. Why add $50 million to your payroll, even if it’s just for one year, when you have plenty of great young arms that are only getting better, and a solid clubhouse guy in Justin Turner you can bring back on a reasonable deal? They also have a young stud of their own waiting in the wings with Gavin Lux. Anything is possible, but I don’t see the Dodgers going too crazy this offseason, other than finding a way to re-tool their bullpen.

It took 6 days, and I’m still not entirely sure the election is over. I would have never thought that two men in their 70’s could maintain an election for this long. Most people experienced some form of anxiety during this process, but not Al Horford’s sister, who claimed that it made her horny on Instagram. Meanwhile, John King is amazing. He looks even more amazing since he probably got dressed in the copy room at CNN everyday last week. I also learned last week that I’m not nearly as good at identifying states on a blank map as I thought I would be. Trump had the lead everyone, but then again, so did the Clippers. Nevertheless, it was incredible to see people refreshing their timelines like it’s NBA free agency. Those remaining states should really offer a list of demands before releasing the vote counts. On the plus side for Trump though, he no longer has to publicly pretend to enjoy being around Don and Eric anymore.

Dave Chappelle was amazing on Saturday Night Live. If you were offended, you probably shouldn’t be watching SNL in the first place. However, credit to NBC for letting Chappelle go unfiltered, despite maybe not being all that safe for network TV. This is probably one of the few comedians in the world who can get away with a KKK joke, an AIDS joke, while having a lit cigarette on stage. What may have gotten lost in all the hilarity of his routine was one important message he said to all Americans. That message is to forgive each other for how we’ve treated one another throughout this whole process, and move forward together.

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Finally, I never thought the Bachelorette season would end before Nevada finished counting. Poor Dale. The guy has to be pissed. I’m sure he just went on the show to get famous, go on a few nice vacations, and now he has to get engaged after one date. As for the rest of those other dudes, they are stoked they get to get hurt again now that Tayshia has shown up. You’ve gotta hande it to these guys. They handled the loss of Clare with such grace, class, and dignity, which is always difficult to do after losing out on a week at La Quinta. Seeing these guys pretend like it was a struggle with the decision to stay or go is hilarious, as if they had any time at all to start liking Clare. If anything this season just goes to show you ladies that if you don’t settle at a young age, you too can get engaged at La Quinta. Seriously though, we have to watch Clare and Dale tell their story on the Tell All? I think I’ll pass on that.

Monday Morning Coffee

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November 2, 2020

At long last the drought is over! The Dodgers are World Series Champions for the first time in 32 years. The way it went down made it even sweeter. Clayton Kershaw experienced playoff redemption with two huge world series wins and Dave Roberts made the right calls. After years of taking arrows for others in the organization, they have been vindicated. Plus, instead of telling everyone how stupid their narrative was, they both enjoyed the moment with class and grace. There was also the clutch hitting of Corey Seager, and the incredible playmaking and leadership of Mookie Betts. More than anything though, the bullpen came through after 7 years of committing arson in the playoffs. It was no wonder that this team was celebrating bullpen outs like someone just got posterized at the rim. They were almost a miracle in every instance. The Dodgers should probably call Kevin Cash and the Boston Red Sox and ask them for their ring size as well. Cash made the same mistake that we killed the Dodgers for the last few years: pulling their starters too early in the big playoff games when they are rolling, just because the analytics tell you to. Kind of funny that a former Andrew Friedman team lost to a current Andrew Friedman team for using a Friedman philosophy. As for the Red Sox trading Mookie to the Dodgers for nothing, I’m sure their fans are going to be ok. I mean I’m sure those fans are cool with the fact they leveraged the extra capital to surpass Q2 earnings.

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You probably noticed there’s a lot of World Series stories I haven’t even addressed, and that’s because I just don’t think they deserve a lot of attention. If the talk shows want to focus on how bad analytics are for baseball, or Justin Turner coming back on the field with COVID, they are just being lazy. The real story is how great of a team this was, and how this was arguably a tougher championship to win than if it were a 162-game season. No fans, no days off, and more playoff teams to go through. The only asterisk still belongs to the 2017 Astros, for their use of “trash-can-alytics”. If you really want my thoughts on Turner I’ll leave it at this: none of us have played in the MLB for over a decade and know what it’s like to be in that position of having to make the choice he did. It’s easy to not condone what he did, but I can’t say none of us wouldn’t have done the same thing, so we should get off his back. He might not even be a Dodger in a few weeks. The real blame is on Commissioner Rob Manfred, who barely had the right protocols in place all year. I love that he was booed to the point it felt like there were 40,000 fans instead of 10,00 fans in the stadium. He also sounded like he slammed a few martini’s before giving that post game speech.

I couldn’t possibly get through writing this edition of MMC without issuing an apology to Andrew Friedman. From nearly day 1 on the job, I’ve been slinging arrows at him for his overly analytics approach, and essentially telling Dave Roberts exactly what to do. However, the reality of it is, this is Major League Baseball today whether you like it or not, and Friedman does it better than any of his competitors. It took a while for all of us to see this, especially myself, but I can clearly see it now. To Friedman’s credit, he stepped outside-the-box with certain decisions. He traded for Mookie Betts and signed him to a massive deal, something he used to shy away from. Not to mention the guy he finally spent the money on was the right guy. He re-signed Justin Turner, Kenley Jansen, and Clayton Kershaw when you thought he might not. He also has built an amazing young pitching staff with all cost-controlled arms for the new few years, and found undervalued gems in Max Mancy, Chris Taylor, and Kike Hernandez. I can’t promise the jokes about you using the computer to make decisions will stop, or your geekiness, but you have proven you’re a hell of an executive Andrew. The best in today’s game.

What the hell are the Angels doing? Their season has been over for more than a month and they aren’t even close to hiring a GM. Arte Moreno must be spending his time reading up on the propositions and catching up on Tiger King because the offseason is about to start and they have no front office leadership. Good luck trying to put something competitive on the field next season, namely a decent pitching staff, without a GM or decent scouting.

The NBA is going to have to start the season around Christmas, otherwise they are going to lose a lot of money. However, I fully expect the Lakers, Heat, Nuggets, and Celtics to be mailing it in for the first month of the season. Lebron will probably be banana boating in Cancun, Kyle Kuzma will be working on his wardrobe, AD will be threading his eye brows, and JR Smith will still be drinking Hennessey. I expect to see a lot of G-Leaguers for that first month, but it’s a little unsettling to know they will get off to a slow start in a tough Western Conference. Nevertheless, it’s a small price to pay to go into the season as defending NBA Champions.

The Rams are so symbolic of 2020. Just when you think things are getting better, they get slapped upside the head by something they didn’t know was coming. This time it was the Miami Dolphins. Jared Goff had more turnovers than Betty Crocker in the first half alone. His passer rating in the first quarter was so low, it should have read “LOL” on the stat sheet. Tua only threw for 93 yards in his debut, but it was Goff that looked like the rookie. It’s hard not to think that Brian Flores and Josh Boyer have Sean McVay’s number, especially since the Rams offense looked about as bad as it did in the Super Bowl. Kai Forbath is probably still walking back to LA at this point, after he missed that field goal to make it a one possession game. Considering the next four opponents are the Seahawks, Bucs, 49ers, and Cardinals, Rams fans should be pretty nervous right now they might fall out of contention ASAP. Hopefully Sean McVay has some major adjustments coming to his offense over the two weeks now that they have a bye coming up.

You have to admire the Chargers consistency at blowing leads and blowing it in close games. The really beared down and made sure they did it again in yesterday’s loss to the Broncos. They are the Atlanta Falcons of the AFC West. Not even the brilliance of Justin Herbert can change the inability for this team to finish games. Before you start pointing at the coaching staff for blowing leads of 16 points or more in the last four games, remember, Mike McCoy had the same reputation. It’s hard to protect leads when your defense is banged up and not good to begin with. It’s a shame everybody is going to focus on that because Justin Herbert looks every bit the franchise quarterback they thought he might be.

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Elsewhere around Week 8 of the NFL, the Steelers beat the Ravens in a game that was so physical, it’s painful just watching it. Patrick Mahomes had five TD passes yesterday. The Jets don’t have five TD passes all year. Baker Mayfield looks like Joe Montana against the Bengals, and like Baker Mayfield against everybody else. The Packers defense had as many holes as Swiss Cheese for Dalvin Cook to run through in the Vikings win over Green Bay. The Colts smoked the Lions yesterday. If Philip Rivers had brought all his kids to the game, he could have equaled the attendance of the Lions fans. The Titans lost to the Bengals, and their defense has disappeared like Houdini. COVID has apparently aged Cam Newton five years, as the Patriots lost to to the Bills. I’m beginning to think DK Metcalf might be really good and that opponents should cover him after the Seahawks beat the 49ers.

Finally, the train wreck that is the Bachelorette continued last week and it’s back tonight. Doesn’t it make perfect sense? We get the worst bachelor and bachelorette ever during 2020! What a lame group date. Not one person got meaningful time with Clare. Way to go ABC. Let’s have a bunch of guys who are already anxious about their connections with Clare sit around all day stewing in the sun, tell them the only fun active thing they might do all week is canceled and they have to share a cocktail party with Dale. It’s been three episodes and the woman is smelling his pants, calling him her fiancé. That’s not how this is supposed to work Clare, but that’s fine. If it doesn’t work out with Dale, don’t come crawling back to Bachelor in Paradise. Thankfully, Tayshia came out of that pool at the end of the episode, and looks to be a Bachelorette that knows how this works. Hopefully that will salvage the season.

Monday Morning Coffee

Dodgers starting pitcher Clayton Kershaw throws against the Tampa Bay Rays during the first inning.

October 26, 2020

The Dodgers sure know how to make this stressful for their fans. Saturday night was the most 2020 ending to a ballgame ever. There’s 1,000 things I could say about Dave Roberts and Andrew Friedman’s scripted decisions, regardless of what is happening before their very eyes. It happened Saturday, and it nearly happened Sunday. I just hope it doesn’t prevent them from winning one of the next two games. I’m also dreading the fact that on Tuesday night they will manage the game like they managed game 2: knowing it’s not truly a must-win situation. On the bright side, Corey Seager is an absolute beast. It was also great to see Clayton Kershaw picking up a couple of wins in this series, and he’s been great in this postseason, despite all that lame “playoff Kershaw” narrative. The bottom line is that if the Dodgers are going to win this series and end the 30+ year drought, the bullpen is going to have to come through.

To the NBA, where Lakers President of Basketball Ops Rob Pelinka has basically revealed his plan for the Lakers moving forward. Pelinka appeared on the Woj Podcast last week and said that his plan is to try to keep his championship team together, while preserving roster flexibility to add a very talented young player to play with AD and Lebron. The explains why he’s trying to get rid of the extra $5 million owed to Luol Deng that counts toward the salary cap. As far as I’m concerned, the league should remove it, even if it means letting Deng touch the Championship Trophy and take a picture with the Laker girls. The league did the same for Timofey Mozgov and the Magic, so this is a far more reasonable ask than is being reported. As for Pelinka though, this means that CP3 probably isn’t among his top choices, since he said “young player”. The only problem with all this is that unless AD or Lebron take less money next summer, they can’t sign a max free agent. They can only trade for one, and I don’t think they have too many good assets to move. Then again, Rob Pelinka has already shown you that he can move mountains in the middle of an earthquake, so the man obviously has something up his sleeve. Even when he tells you his plan, he’s more stealth than you think.

If the Chargers win a game, but none of their fans were actually their to see it in SOFI Stadium, does it actually count? Then again, they have no fans that would show up at Sofi Stadium, so I guess it’s only fair that it should. Not only did the Bolts win, but more importantly, Justin Herbert continues to look elite. He’s only the 2nd player with at least 250 passing yards in each of his first five starts. The other was Patrick Mahomes, who happens to play in his division. He also had a 31-yard run for a TD, which was the longest run by a Chargers QB since 1988. Yes it’s a bit alarming that they blew a 16-0 lead against a team that’s 1-6. Yes it’s even more alarming that they trailed by a touchdown in the 3rd quarter. However, 3 of their 4 losses have come against solid teams where they just didn’t know how to finish. Considering they are just one game out of the last playoff spot with Broncos, Chargers, and Dolphins looming, now would be a good time to start finishing.

Tonight’s Monday Night Football game against the Bears has me pretty worried for the Rams. Everybody thought the Bears were frauds, yet they are 5-1, near the top of the NFC after beating a really good Bucs team. Everyone thought the Rams were good, but now everybody thinks they suck because all their wins have come against crummy NFC East teams. Thank God this game is at home, because Jared Goff shrivels up in the cold like Harry and Lloyd did in “Dumb and Dumber” when they got to Aspen. Still the Bears defense can give the Rams fits, and I’m not feeling so great heading into this one.

Elsewhere around the NFL in Week 7, the Cowboys got crushed by Washington, and the NFL should air the rest of their games on a high school football channel. The Falcons lost to the Lions and should have all their remaining games replaced by a blank screen. The Jets got beat by the Bills and should have their games moved to Comedy Central. All other NFC games should be moved to 4 am so nobody has to be subjected to them. The Patriots got crushed by the 49ers, and Cam Newton is out here throwing bounce passes like he’s Magic Johnson. The Cardinals beat the Seahawks, but DK Metcalf chased down Buddha Baker like your kid chases down the ice cream truck.

It’s been two months and I’ve gotta be honest: I just can’t get into College Football this year. It’s already predictable enough that we’re going to see another Clemson vs Alabama Championship Game. However, to make it even less intriguing, half the Power 5 schools weren’t even playing before this past weekend. Even Notre Dame, who is undefeated, probably doesn’t stand a chance against Clemson when they meet in two weeks. Touchdown Jesus himself couldn’t lift the Irish to victory if he were starting at Quarterback. It’s anti-climactic, and even more anti-climactic without many fans in the stands. College Football needs fans. Not just for the revenue, but for the energy and the quality of the game itself. It’s missing the crowd more than any other sport.

Finally, The Bachelorette has been ridiculous, even by 2020 standards. First of all, ABC picked the oldest Bachelorette ever. Bad move. I’m also starting to think Clare should’ve gone to therapy instead of being on the bachelorette. In fact, I’m beginning to think watching a whole season of Bennett inviting the other men one by one into his suite, doing face masks, and getting to know each other by the pool could be more interesting than what we’ve seen in the first couple of episodes. Clare gets pissed when a guy that shows up on the show doesn’t know her astrological sign, blood type and date of her last period. Then of course Clare wanted to get a look at “the goods” and make all those dudes strip down naked after they lost at Dodgeball. Of course there is no chance any Bachelor could pull that off during their seasons with all the women. I definitely needed a full week to recover from that train wreck of an episode.

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Monday Morning Coffee

October 19, 2020

Look guys, I won’t lie. I pre-wrote this column when the Dodgers were trailing yesterday, ripping everybody in the organization to shreds. I’m happy to say I was wrong, and got to re-write it. The Dodgers are back in the World Series for the third time in four years, after overcoming a 3-1 deficit against the Braves. When the playoffs started, I said that the Dodgers could succeed if they relied on their depth, rather than over rely on one player like Clayton Kershaw or Kenley Jansen. That almost didn’t happen in game 4, when Dave Roberts and Andrew Friedman (yes I said Friedman), let Kershaw go an inning too long. They put him in position to fail. However, give Friedman and Roberts credit, because they stuck with Julio Urias yesterday late in the game when he was rolling, rather than going back to Jansen, which his computer usually tells them to do. Jansen and Kershaw will get their chance to be important contributors in the World Series, but there is no need to put them in position to fail. They have weapons in the bullpen. They have weapons in the lineup. They have good young starting pitching. The Rays are great, but if the Dodgers use that depth, they’ll bring home a championship. Corey Seager had a hell of a series, and Mookie Betts is worth every penny. The defensive plays he made alone provided so much energy to the team. Here’s to hoping Andrew Friedman keeps his computer running after last night, and doesn’t click on some malware by watching porn, giving his computer a virus. It’s no wonder the Braves blew a 3-1 lead though. Prior to moving to LA, the Clippers were the Buffalo Braves.

The Lakers are still slamming shots of Patron and showering themselves with champagne in Vegas after winning the NBA Championship. However, there’s already rumblings of some big roster changes next season. The biggest of these rumblings is that Chris Paul could be traded to the Lakers. On one hand, this could be fun and sweet justice because Paul should have been a Laker long ago. Paul is still a great player, and could probably make it work with Lebron and AD. Lebron would also be stoked because he could drink wine every week and get a head start planning his Banana Boat vacation with CP3. However, there’s too much risk here. The Lake Show would be trading 4-5 players just to make the salaries work, including the 3-point shooting of Kyle Kuzma and Danny Green. It’s also risky to have a top heavy big 3, where two of the big 3 are 35 years-of-age. More importantly though, the Lakers would be saying goodbye to any chance they have at signing Giannis next summer, or maybe even trading for Bradley Beal. There’s nothing wrong with running it back with the same group, especially since great chemistry matters.

Meanwhile, across the hall the Clippers hired Ty Lue as their next coach. However, they have some Kawhi Leonard drama to sort through. According to The Athletic’s Jovan Buha and Joe Vardon, Montrezl Harrell, Lou Williams, and Patrick Beverley “bristled” over Kawhi being able to dictate his load management. In other words, they didn’t like the special treatment he received. Of course Williams and Harrell denied this was true on Twitter, but the fact this report is out there with their names attached to it is a big deal. One has to seriously question whether or not those three are going to be back with the Clippers next year, or at least not without repairing the relationship between Kawhi and those 3. Kawhi is also reportedly urging Clippers management to acquire a good point guard. I’m surprised he hasn’t told them he wants Paul George sent to the WNBA for a player to be named. Once free agency opens, it’s going to be fascinating to see how this drama continues to unfold.

To the NFL where the Rams got pounded by the 49ers on Sunday Night Football. Jimmy G looked like Johnny Unitas, while Jared Goff was more like Jared “Off” with all his missed throws. I know the Rams got behind early, but they needed to give the ball to Daryl Henderson more. He looks like the most explosive weapon they have on offense. The rest of the offense was totally out of sink against a 49ers team that was missing two of its best defensive players in Nick Bosa and Richard Sherman. The Rams are 4-2, but it’s starting to feel like their first four wins were just because they played a bunch of trash teams in the NFC East. Unfortunately, they can’t petition the league to play the Cowboys, Eagles, Giants, and Redskins every week. Things aren’t going to get any easier next week against a Bears team that is starting to look really good.

The Chargers enjoyed a bye week, however, they are still licking their wounds from last Monday’s loss to the Saints. The Bolts are 2-15 in one score games since the start of the 2019 season. They can’t even stumble into a win in a close game this season. Even more sad is the fact it looks like they might have found themselves a superstar quarterback in Justin Herbert, yet can’t get it together. This man is a touchdown throwing machine, despite the fact he’s basically been throwing to Door Dash drivers for the past few weeks. The Chargers need to do everything in their power to support his success. In the NFL much of your success is all about the system and culture you go to. It’s not impossible to succeed otherwise, but its an uphill battle. Sam Darnold’s career stinks because he got stuck with the Jets. Patrick Mahomes career does not because he’s with the Chiefs. It’s like being born in the hood vs being born as a trust fund baby. Right now, the Chargers are making it look like Herbert was born in the hood, and need to fix that ASAP.

Elsewhere around Week 6 in the NFL, Tom Brady and the Bucs hammered the Packers. Aaron Rodgers hasn’t been dominated like that since going out with Danica Patrick. Baker Mayfield lived up to his named and was serving up turnovers like a baker in the Browns loss to the Steelers. The Jets got beat up by the Dolphins and should have all their games televised on Comedy Central from now on. Kirk Cousins was so bad yesterday against the Falcons, Vikings fans would take Dak Prescott one week after surgery instead of him. Derrick Henry was so good in the Titans win over the Texans, I’m beginning to wonder if he was made in a lab. The Giants have won 12 games in the last three years. 4 of them have come against Washington! Philip Rivers just got bullied by Twitter into playing an elite game in a win against the Bengals. Everything went great for the Eagles yesterday, except for the game against the Ravens. Cam Newton also looked more like Olivia Newton in the Patriots’ loss to the Broncos.

Finally, what a joke the Pac 12 is continuing to be, this time thanks to California Governor Gavin Newsom. I mean the Pac 12 clearly doesn’t need any help to be the laughing stock of College Football, but apparently Newsom thinks they do. Pac 12 parents will not be allowed to attend games to watch their kids play. So let me get this straight. Maybe 100 people are incapable of sitting socially distanced in a 90,000 seat stadium? People are allowed to eat at restaurants, fly on planes, and go to the beach with many more people around them in close quarters. I would say this makes no sense, but then again we live in California where nothing makes sense. Pretty soon Newsom is going to mandating that the trees in the forest put masks on to avoid catching COVID.

Monday Morning Coffee

October 12, 2020

In the words of the the late Chick Hearn, “The Lakers are the World Champions!” This one felt different, but still very special. One of the worst years in our life time started with the death of an icon, Kobe Bryant. This one was for Kobe and Gigi. Their passing devastated us all. However, this championship would make them proud, and gives the city of Los Angeles and Southern California something to feel good about. Everyone, including myself, owes Jeanie Buss and Rob Pelinka an apology letter, and a fruit basket. So many doubted the direction they wanted to take this team, and whether or not they were experienced enough to do this. Neither listened to the noise around them, and succeeded under the most difficult circumstances. As for Lebron James, remember when you thought he was only coming to LA for non-basketball reasons? No, he came to win more championships, and add to his legacy. That legacy isn’t done, and with 4 Championships and 4 finals MVPs with 3 teams, he’s making a great case to be the GOAT. His leadership has been tremendous, and the amazing chemistry this team has is a product of that. I also knew Anthony Davis was a great player, but when the Lakers gave up a truck load for him, I even had some doubts he was worth it. However, he was so good, the Lakers should send the Pelicans another draft pick this morning just because.

One thing I’ve never understood is how for an entire year, the fans and media did nothing but try to tell us how bad the Laker role players were. They’ve done nothing but play well in the biggest moments. KCP was reliable all year. Rajon Rondo is a championship player that raised his game. Dwight Howard didn’t just tell lame jokes and play video games. He found himself and was solid on and off the floor all year, while Alex Caruso is a success story for all G-Leaguers. Even Kyle Kuzma stepped up and played better defense than we’ve ever seen before from him. All of this happened while another key rotation player, Avery Bradley, was home. Bradley should be back next year as a key contributor, and the Lakers have a chance to defend their title with an even better veteran roster. Don’t expect to hear that though from all the media and other Laker haters.

You know who should feel like complete morons right now? Anybody that voted for Clippers President Lawrence Frank as NBA Executive of the Year. Frank assembled a team of front-running jerks that got their coach fired for underachieving in the playoffs, while mortgaging their future on a phony superstar in Paul George. Meanwhile, Rob Pelinka finished 7th in the voting. 7th! The guy that got the better Morris brother, and the guy who assembled a championship roster after Kawhi left him high and dry at the last minute. He also did this in a year where his best friend and God Daughter passed away. It just goes to show you that other NBA Executives weren’t going to vote for Pelinka because he got the Laker job when they didn’t even get to interview for it. They also hate him because he was an agent that played hardball against them. Now it’s Pelinka who got the last laugh last night. NBA Executives should be embarrassed for this, because they just showed they don’t have an ounce of objectivity in them. This is just another example of the Laker hate in the NBA being real.

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The Dodgers are back in the NLCS against the Braves. They swept the Padres which is only right. San Diego’s ugly uniforms look like they were designed by the inmates from “The Shawshank Redemption”. As for Atlanta, this series going to be scary. It’s sort of like all those years you beat up on your little brother, and now he’s a little older, bigger and stronger. That’s exactly what this Braves team is now that they have real pitching. Not the same little brother the Dodgers have beaten up on in the playoffs the last few season. Then there’s Kenly Jansen, who most of us wish ends up being quarantined for the rest of the playoffs, since he can’t even close a hot dog stand right now, let alone a baseball game. As I said going into the playoffs, the Dodgers don’t have to over rely on Jansen, Kershaw, or any one player in these playoffs, unlike years past. They have options. They can use Brusdar Graterol or Blake Treinen to close games. They can even use Dustin May. However, there is still a place for Jansen in the pen. It might not be late in games, but he can be used in certain middle relief situations with a short leash. This is a year where more depth is a huge advantage given the schedule. The Dodgers need to use that to their advantage, unlike the last few postseasons, and that should put them back in the World Series.

The Rams beat up on The Washington Football Team yesterday to improve to 4-1! Nice to see Alex Smith healthy, but I think everybody was cringing on every hit he took. Before you haters say the Rams’ four wins came against the NFC East, keep in mind that the 49ers and Cardinals have lost to crappy Eagles and Lions teams respectively. You can only beat the teams on your schedule, and the Rams have taken care of business for the most part. Jared Goff and Sean McVay basically just told everyone to go “dink and dunk that!”. They may have kept throwing short passes, but it was effective, and now it looks like every single running back on that team is dangerous. The 49ers have been banged up, but they also haven’t exactly been a model of consistency so far this season. The Rams have a great chance to go 5-1 next week against their division rivals.

Meanwhile, the Chargers and Saints are getting ready for a big Monday Night Football showdown tonight. This game probably doesn’t have the same “Kill Bill” revenge feel to it that it used to have when Drew Brees would go up against Philip Rivers, especially since both Rivers and AJ Smith are no longer with the Bolts. However, this is still a pretty important game for the Saints who are trying to move back into first place, and the Chargers, who are desperate for a win. The Bolts’ defense has been crippled with injuries, but the best thing going for them is Justin Herbert. He’s been so good that Anthony Lynn had to say “screw it” and name him the starting quarterback moving forward. You certainly have to feel bad for Tyrod Taylor, but it was the right decision, and the Chargers usually don’t make too many of those.

Elsewhere around week 5, JR Smith think Tom Brady is a fool for not knowing it was 4th down on the final play of the Bucs loss to the Bears. Two quarterbacks faced off in KC yesterday. One threw for 350 yards, 3 TD’s, and had a 129 QBR. The other was Patrick Mahomes. Shocking Raider win! The Ravens beat up the Bengals and made Joe Burrow look like a Pee Wee quarterback. The Texans remembered what it was like to win a football game. The Falcons are 0-5, and probably thought it was better to just not get a lead so they couldn’t blow it. The Jets are so bad, Adam Gase has probably asked his boss why they haven’t fired him yet. The Eagles lost again as well, and their receivers are playing like the football is infected with COVID:

Finally, remember when the LA Kings were a great team that was competing for Stanley Cups? That last cup came 6 years ago, but they’ve been rebuilding for the last two years. They now have the best farm system in hockey, but that might not get them to the playoffs for two more years, and might not truly get them competing for Stanley Cups for another 4 years. That’s more than a half decade of rebuilding. Since the Kings have not only one of the best, but one of the deepest prospect pools in the league, as well as boat loads of salary cap space, they should trade for an elite goal scorer. That scorer is Steve Stamkos. He’s elite, he just won a Cup, and has a contract that isn’t terrible given the Kings rebuilding window. Why not speed up the rebuild by trying to make that trade, since the Lightning are desperate to create salary cap space? Prospects are great, but the Kings can’t keep them all. They need to figure out who isn’t a fit for them, and use those players as assets while they still have value. I’m not sure this concept is familiar to Rob Blake, who inherited the job from someone and wasn’t initially tasked with a rebuild.