September 9, 2019
Breaking news: the Rams are still really good. In the 1st half, their offense looked they were playing the 5th quarter of the Super last year, yet they still managed to hold off the Carolina Panthers on the road. The defense is legit, even after losing Eric Weddle to a head laceration yesterday. Weddle looked like Negan took him out back with Lucille, but hopefully he’ll be back in action next week. A sign of a good team is one that wins when it isn’t at it’s best. The Rams were far from it and they took care of business. There’s still a lot of concerns about Todd Gurley and his overall durability, but he showed up in the 4th quarter. Also the new $134 million man, Jared Goff, should continue to improve and keep the Rams in elite company.
Then there’s the Chargers, who shockingly didn’t start their season with their traditional disappointing loss. You remember the Chargers right? That other football team in LA with 5 or 6 fans? They managed to defeat a diminished Colts team yesterday, after Austin Ekeler did his best Barry Sanders impression. I’m pretty sure the Bolts don’t miss Melvin Gordon right now. However, this team is missing too many key guys to have a real chance to be a Super Bowl contender. Gordon, Russell Okung, and Derwin James are all out of the lineup with injuries or contract disputes, which is going to hurt in the long run. After seeing Zeke’s record breaking contract, and Ekeler go crazy yesterday, the Chargers have offered Melvin Gordon a year’s pass to Disneyland. In a competitive AFC, that may be enough to prevent them from returning to the postseason. Then again, I’m not sure it matters with KC and New England head and shoulders above everyone else.
Elsewhere around Week 1, Someone needs to teach Khalil Mack to play quarterback, because Mitch Trubisky is still trash. Hell of a start by both New York football teams. You can give the Browns a promising rookie QB, OBJ, and some cool uniforms, and they still suck. Patrick Mahomes is still a human video game. Antonio Brown should change his name to “Antonio Clown”. Still, the Patriots dismantled the Steelers without AB, and it’s not even going to be fair when he suits up for them next week. “Knock on wood if you’re with me.” Jameis Winston was so bad, the 49ers are going to make him their starting quarterback. The Dolphins made Lamar Jackson look like Dan Marino. The Colts gave $29 million to Jacoby Brissett and Brian Hoyer. Jim Irsay is clearly drinking again.
To College Football where the Trojans are 2-0. That means that Clay Helton and Lynn Swann should be receiving a 15 year extension this week right? Kedon Slovis suddenly looks like the 2nd coming of Sam Darnold, except that might not be what the Trojan faithful wants to hear. If Slovis is that good, this is like owning a Ferrari but not knowing how to drive it. Stanford had to play with their backup QB, and simply did not look that good. The 2-0 start feels a lot more about the questionable competition than how good USC really is. Only time will tell, but after BYU, the schedule gets rough: Utah, Washington, and Notre Dame. The last thing USC needs is for Clay Helton and Lynn Swann to stick around, so most Trojan fans should be in favor of tanking like an NBA team.
It’s a shame that the Rose Bowl doesn’t sell alcohol anymore. UCLA fans really need it to get through the season. This team looks more and more embarrassing every time they play. UCLA should never lose to San Diego State, even if they were coached by Helen Keller. Somehow, Chip Kelly managed to pull it off. This man is being paid millions to drive a football program into the ground. I don’t know what’s worse: the incredibly mediocre talent that has been recruited, or the disaster on the field itself. I guess $23 million doesn’t buy what it used to.
I love how Notre Dame beats Louisville by 18 points and they are “overrated”. Meanwhile, Michigan barely hangs on against Army, and it’s just “an off-day for a solid football team”. Then there’s Tennessee’s embarrassing loss to BYU. The SEC should announce that effective immediately it will no longer be acknowledging Tennessee’s presence and that it will be claiming Clemson as the 14th member of the conference. It’s a close call between the Dolphins and Florida State as to who exactly the worst football team in the state is, but FSU seemed determined here….
We’re approaching the start of training camp in the NHL, and that means the Kings are about to get going. By going, I mean going straight down the toilet. The Kings supposedly had a great draft, and some are claiming they have a Top 5 farm system. Sorry but it’s a little difficult to get excited about a farm system that is about 3 years away from competing in the NHL. When your team is comprised of Anze Kopitar, Drew Doughty, and Jonathan Quick, you expect to compete for Stanley Cups. There were actually several solid bargain free agents out there that could even help the Kings now, without compromising this so called bright future. However, apparently the Kings would rather give these roster spots to mediocre young players than compete for a playoff spot. It’s a sad state of affairs for this once elite hockey club.
Finally, I’ve decided I’m going to lay off the Dodgers this week. They’ve been beaten up pretty good lately, and will probably get beaten up pretty good come October the way their pitching has been bleeding runs, and their hitters have disappeared like Houdini. Oh wait, I said I was going to lay off. So much for that. Not only is home field advantage throughout the playoffs in jeopardy, they might not even have home field advantage in the NL playoffs. Just because this late season futility is predictable, doesn’t make it any less frustrating.