Monday Morning Coffee

April 27, 2020

Episodes 3 and 4 of The Last Dance went down last night and it was awesome. We learned a ton more about Dennis Rodman, Phil Jackson, and Scottie Pippen. Pippen was so underpaid, the man deserves a stimulus check from the government. Then there’s Dennis Rodman, who went on a 48-hour bender in Vegas at age 37. I have no clue how he wasn’t incapacitated for two weeks. The fact Rodman was able to convince the team to let him go to Vegas and link up with Carmen Electra makes him deserve a Nobel Peace Prize. Also the fact Michael Jordan walked in on them in bed together is exactly the kind of story we were all waiting for while watching this. That 48-hour bender deserves a documentary in itself. Electra also claimed later on that she had sex with Rodman at the Bulls practice facility. Michael Jordan is a billionaire but he apparently can’t afford any Visine. Can’t wait until the next episode!

To the NFL where the Rams had a bizarre draft over the weekend. I’m surprised the Rams didn’t place a greater priority on their pass rush, the cornerbacks, and their offensive line than the players they selected. I can blame Cox and Spectrum for a lot of things, but even if the internet went down, Les Snead can only blame himself for this one when he looks back. Here’s to hoping I’m wrong, but the division is getting a lot better and it doesn’t look like the Rams are.

Meanwhile, the Chargers finally got their QB of the future. Justin Herbert was a a solid pick. His ceiling might not be as high as Tua’s and although it could have been fun with him, Herbert is much safer. The only downside for the Bolts is they still have no fans. It’s so bad the NFL couldn’t even find 12 Charger fans to put on the screen when it was time for them to make their picks.

Elsewhere around the draft, it was nice of the Raiders to go back to their roots and take the fastest wide receiver in the draft instead of the best one available. Aaron Rodgers is going to be moodier than a teenage girl next season after the Packers drafted his replacement. Cliff Kingsbury made everyone look broke. Dude must have bought Apple Stock in 2007. Then there’s CeeDee Lamb, who’s side piece was clearly blowing up his phone during the draft, and he was determined not to let his girl find out!

https://twitter.com/NFL_Memes/status/1253514952222158849

Finally, what an ending to the Showtime Series Homeland last night! It’s very rare that even the best television series have satisfying endings. Homeland actually got it right. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. These guys should re-write the ending of Game of Thrones while they are at it. Carrie really had me going, thinking that she was going to not only betray Saul, but kill him too. Then again, you can see how the writers really thought this one through, and didn’t rush through the ending like Game of Thrones. By the way, the show runners actually trolled those writers as well without naming them in this quote: “We wanted to go out in a successful way. We obviously didn’t want to follow in the footsteps of some, you know, to be unnamed shows, that fell down and stumbled at the end.” I can’t imagine who they might be talking about!

Monday Morning Coffee

April 20, 2020

I’m thrilled that The Last Dance was released last night since we’re all starving for entertainment. It was fantastic! I can just see dopey analytics guy screaming while watching and saying “too many mid-range jumpers!” Imagine every member of the 84-85 Bulls in their living room, trying to explain that they weren’t a part of the “cocaine circus”. Scottie Pippen going from manager to top 30 basketball player is low key one of the best basketball stories ever. It’s a shame Jerry Krause looks like a big dope but he really had a remarkable run getting the Bulls job, then building one of the greatest teams in NBA history. I mean he was a baseball scout and just called asking for the job. He deserves more credit than he got, but less credit than he wanted. For the next month he’s going to steal the title of biggest villain on the internet from Carol Baskin. The Last Dance definitely almost never happened! Tracy McGrady revealed the Bulls agreed to a deal for him in exchange for Pippen, but Jordan vetoed the deal.

I’ve been hearing an awful lot about UCLA’s debt problem. Special thanks to Dan Guerrero, who is about to retire, and is leaving the athletic department with a nice parting gift of $100 million in debt. A large portion of that was well before this pandemic started, and Guerrero has demonstrated he’s as good at managing money as the CEO of Enron. I’m actually not sure why Mayor Garcetti is downplaying the idea of playing sports in California stadiums where fans gather in the thousands. That shouldn’t be a problem for UCLA football at the Rose Bowl, where fans don’t even gather at all anymore. In all seriousness though, declining revenue from football, a terrible television contract, and low attendance at sporting events is a sure recipe for financial disaster in any college athletic department. However, UCLA has a $5 billion endowment fund. The salaries of staff for 2nd tier sports shouldn’t be impacted by this, and neither should the second tier sports for men and women at the universities. They have plenty of money to solve their own problems and beyond. They just aren’t talking about it because they don’t want to have to use it.

As for USC, JT Daniels is entering the transfer portal. I realize that JT Daniels probably hasn’t had to win a real starting QB competition in his life, and you can probably criticize him for that. However, I truly have no idea if Kedon Slovis is really that good, or if Daniels might be a whole lot better, all because Clay Helton is coaching them. Something tells me if Helton owned a Ferrari, he would be driving it like a Honda Civic, so you really would have no idea he was driving a Ferrari. This is what’s happening here, except we probably won’t know who the Ferrari is until you see Daniels lighting it up at LSU or Michigan.

I know what you’re all thinking. The Athletic had a recent poll asking fans to rate the performance of Dodger President Andrew Friedman. No, I was not one of the two people that gave him a one. I’m as critical as anyone of Friedman, but there are certain things he does receive credit for, such as preserving the farm system. However, the inability for him to put the Dodgers over the top is not because of the lack of free agents. It’s because of his inability to build a bullpen. It’s actually been so bad in that regard, it’s damaged the legacy of Clayton Kershaw, who has had to overextend himself in playoff situations. For that reason, I can’t give him a 4 or a 5. Besides, if I did it would be totally off-brand for me!

Speaking of the Dodgers, I know that people are crucifying them right now for not refunding the money fans paid for games that are currently being postponed. We are in the midst of an unprecedented pandemic people. We have no idea what’s going to happen in a week, two weeks, let alone the next month. Give the Dodgers a chance to figure it out before jumping down their throats and giving you a refund.

The NFL Draft is set for Thursday! Look Chargers don’t get cute. If you get the opportunity to take Tua on Thursday you do it. If you can’t get Tua take Justin Herbert. You need a quarterback. Don’t try to tell me that Tyrod Taylor is going to be your QB for the next 5 years. He’s a nice stop gap, but don’t make him more than he is. Why am I not going to be surprised though if they screw this up?

Monday Morning Coffee

April 13, 2020

Here we are still locked up in our homes for at least another month. We’re all starving for entertainment, and basketball in particular, hoping it will come back.. However, if we are lucky enough to get this season back, Lebron probably isn’t going to be a happy camper. The King isn’t thrilled with the idea of playing without fans, or playing on a neutral site. Can you blame him? The Lakers played 3 quarters of the season, and were on track for home court in the West, which is a critical element in the NBA playoffs. He’s probably also upset that he won’t be able to get on another Banana Boat this summer with his boys. At this point though, I think we should all be thankful just to get sports back in any form. It sure beats seeing guys like Jamaal Murray make porno’s on his social media account.

I tried really hard to watch H-O-R-S-E last night guys, but just couldn’t do it after 15 minutes. The connection was horrible, and I’ve seen better graphics on NBA 2K. I’m not sure why you guys are surprised to see Chris Paul get eliminated in the first round either, since that’s been happening for his entire career. Trae Young and Tamika Catchings lost in their driveways. Conley and Billups had fancy courts. You see the trend here?

Meanwhile, Major League Baseball is coming up with their own wild plans to try and get their season going again. The latest idea is supposedly to have all 30 MLB teams play the season in Arizona beginning next month. That simply feels like too many players and too many logistics to keep everyone safe at the moment. Not to mention the fact that it’s really going to put a cramp in MLB Players style. I mean we know that professional athletes in general aren’t exactly the most faithful in their marriages, so now these MLB players will have to be quarantined from not only their families, but their 2nd and 3rd families in all the other cities they travel to, as well as their side pieces. Not even Andrew Friedman’s computer can help them out with that problem.

To the NFL, where the Rams found a way to get out of another big contract, sending Brandin Cooks to Houston for a 2nd round pick. Even though Cooks counts for $20 million against the cap this year, the Rams get out of the last two years of his deal, and still get a 2nd round pick in the process. Of course Bill O’Brien was on the other end of this trade. If 2020 was an NFL GM, it would be O’Brien. Cooks is a good guy, and a useful player, but he’s one more concussion away from his career ending, and he’s been passed around the NFL like a Kardashian is passed around at an NBA party. He’s the Tobias Harris of the NFL. The Rams may not be good next year, but they are on their way to cleaning up their ugly salary cap mess. Hopefully they can fix their offensive line in the draft next week to continue patching their holes. Remember, the NFL should stand for “Not For Long” because you can turn it around quickly.

I’m really looking forward to the NFL draft. Not only because we need the entertainment. Mostly because this virtual draft is going to be a disaster for many, and I can’t wait to see how these teams blow it. The Cleveland Browns will probably be using dial-up internet. Then imagine old school guys like Giants GM, Dave Gettleman, trying to get his kids to explain Zoom to him. Something messy is bound to happen, and I’m going to be there for it!

Remember a few months ago when everybody was talking about the XFL and how it was going to be different? I never bought into it and sure enough, they are going to fold. But hey, at least the XFL got more games in this year than Antonio Brown did.

I don’t know about you guys, but if there’s on thing I have learned from this cornavirus pandemic, it’s a a reminder that everything is political. I can’t even talk about the weather anymore without it being political. If I tell somebody “wow it’s really hot today”, I’ll probably get a response like “Ooooh so you believe in global warming??”. I don’t care what your political beliefs are or what you think of our President, this situation isn’t political.

Monday Morning Coffee

April 6, 2020

ESPN should be ashamed of themselves and their “Greatest of All-Time Bracket”. I know we are starving for entertainment right now, but the fans that voted on it are just a bunch of fan boys that have never watched College Basketball, and also just started watching the NBA yesterday. Anybody with half a brain knows that Kareem is best NCAA player of all-time. Oscar Robertson, Pete Maravich, Bill Walton, and Bill Russell are among the greatest as well. All of them were eliminated early in the ESPN bracket. Michael Jordan ended up winning the entire bracket. Jordan was the greatest player of all-time way down the line, but as a collegiate, he wasn’t even top 10, and maybe not even top 20. Even Larry Bird, who was in the finals of the bracket, might not have been in the top 10. I know it’s easy to say it’s the fans fault. Then again, ESPN are the same bozos that thought Lebron was just the third best player in the world going into this season. Their experts couldn’t recognize talent if it dunked on them.

Speaking of the NCAA, they blew it again by not granting another year of eligibility for winter sports athletes. That means they screwed all those men’s and women’s hockey and basketball athletes at getting a shot in the tournament. The sensible thing to do would be to allow winter athletes to apply for the extra year of eligibility and grant it to them for those athletes that didn’t get to compete in the postseason. That’s definitely the right thing to do, but expecting the NCAA to do the right thing is like expecting the people in Florida to stay home right now and not party on the beach.

At long last the Dodgers and DirecTV have come to an agreement! Now the 70% of you that can’t watch the Dodger games can stop complaining, assuming there is a season. For the record, I never blamed the Dodgers for making the deal they did with Spectrum. Many of you clueless baseball traditionalists labeled it “greedy” but fail to recognize that this is how well-run baseball teams today come up with the money to put a competitive team on the field every year. Now the question is whether or not we are going to get a season to watch and how many games. Hopefully it’s more than 50 games, because Andrew Friedman’s software update doesn’t get completed until game 60 or so.

Congratulations to Kobe Bryant, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, Tamika Catchings, Rudy Tomjanovich, Eddie Sutton, Kim Mulkey, Barbara Stevens, and Patrick Baumann on their induction into the Basketball Hall of Fame. Obviously Kobe, Duncan, and Garnett were first ballot no-brainers, and collectively, the class is arguably the greatest of all-time. As for Kobe, Vanessa Bryant once again showed the strength of 1,000 men when she spoke about the honor for her late husband.

I’m not sure if you guys realize just how bad this whole CNN vs Donald Trump rivalry has gotten. No matter what side you’re on, it’s bad. It’s becoming a bigger rivalry than boxers vs briefs or Siracha vs Tabasco. On the CNN side of things, what kind of legitimate news network doesn’t air parts of the President speaking during a worldwide crisis? I thought you were reporting the news, not your own spin? On the other side, what kind of a President is so committed to trolling that he actually trolls a news network on daily basis about their ratings during a worldwide crisis? It’s true that CNN’s ratings are sinking like the Titanic, and that their digital following is less than Fox News even when combined with that of MSNBC’s. That’s why Trump keeps talking about his own press conference ratings. That’s also why he keeps calling out CNN. However, can’t we just put all this nonsense aside during a crisis? Ok fine, I admit it. It has some entertainment value. And frankly, we are starving for entertainment.

Finally, The Walking Dead had a “soft” season finale last night on AMC. I say “soft” because they were unable to complete the filming of the actual season finale due to the coronavirus, so we’ll have to wait on that. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Everyone is laughing at Princess, except the joke is going to be on all of us when we come out of quarantine and start socializing with people. This whole hoard that Beta is bringing is setting up for the survivors to have to escape by disguising themselves as Walkers again. I wonder what everyone was thinking about “King” Ezekiel when Princess said “Queen makes me sound ‘pretentious'”? Apparently Maggie is coming back in the season finale. I’m sure she’s gonna be thrilled to know Hilltop burned down. Another horse died. PETA is going to tear the writers of this show a new one tomorrow morning. Those Walkers really need to practice social distancing. Everybody is talking about The Tiger King, but we forgot that it was Ezekiel who was the real Tiger King. I still haven’t figured out whether Rick is going to make his appearance in “The Walking Dead World Beyond” series, as well as a separate Walking Dead movie we were told about. In any case, whenever the season finale airs, it’s going to be good!

Monday Morning Coffee

March 30, 2020

I don’t know if we’re going to get any sports back this year with the global pandemic we are facing. However, if there is one sport we’re going to get back in some capacity, it’s the NBA. I have more confidence in Adam Silver, as a leader of that league, than any other commissioner of the four major sports. Silver is smart, creative, and determined to find a way to build a bubble around the 450 NBA players if it’s possible to re-start play. Considering the NBA has fewer players than all the other leagues, that might make it more feasible. On the other hand, commissioners like the MLB’s Rob Manfred, aren’t even qualified to deliver me a pizza, and have no idea how to creatively get things re-started. Baseball is delusional enough to think they can still get 162 games in. There might not be fans in the stands, and they might not be playing in NBA arenas, but if it’s possible, Adam Silver will get it done.

Nothing seems to be going the Rams way this offseason. Their defense is losing players faster than Jameis Winston is losing points on his Uber Rating. They were forced to release Todd Gurley, and now their logo is embarrassing. The Rams had a couple of weeks to leak their logo, get negative feedback about it, and did nothing to change it. Now their new logo has been called everything from Donald Trump’s hair, something that looks like a penis, and even worse…..the Chargers logo. For now, everything about this team on and off the field feels like a disaster that won’t end anytime soon.

Meanwhile, I’m not sure what the Chargers are waiting for, they need to hurry up and sign Cam Newton. He’s not going to cost them very much, and he has huge upside. It wasn’t that long ago that Newton was a league MVP. He might not be that prolific of a passer, but he has much bigger upside than Tyrod Taylor as their starting QB. I admit that it’s entirely conceivable that Cam Newton could end up studying his post game outfits more than the playbook, but the risk is low if that happens. Especially if the Bolts have Taylor behind him, and they draft a QB this year.

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I was really glad to see the Summer Olympics postponed until 2021. I love the Olympics, and although I believe the IOC won’t be teaching a class on business ethics anytime soon, they made the right decision. Imagine being an athlete that trained for 4 years for this once in a lifetime opportunity to represent your country and compete in the Olympics. It would be wrong to take that moment away from those athletes, so I’m very glad they will get the opportunity again. More importantly, congratulations to all these athletes who are now free to go to In-N-Out and slam a double-double animal style with fries since they don’t have to compete for another year.

If the MLB cancels the season, Mookie Betts will never play for the Dodgers. If you think that Andrew Friedman is going to pay $300 million for Mookie then you probably also think that the coronavirus came from Corona beer. Although I gave Friedman credit for trading for Betts, I also made note of the fact it’s risky to trade for a player that has only one year left on his contract, as opposed to trading for a player like Nolen Arrenado, who has lots of term left on his contract. If the Dodgers get on the field and win the World Series this won’t matter, but until that happens, it might be a risk that went really badly.

Tell me you’ve seen Tiger King? Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Every episode is crazier than the last. Why did John do every interview without a shirt on? Then again, John freaking out about having to wear pants perfectly explains this quarantine. It’s hard for me to imagine that Carole didn’t kill her husband, especially when she wrote “disappeared” on his Power of Attorney. While it’s easy to say that Joe was framed for the murder-for-hire plot, in my mind all these people should be in jail. If nothing else, Joe, Jeff, Carole, and Doc Antle should be in jail for being lunatics. We simply should not have people walking around who are that crazy.

Finally, The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Daryl and Negan need to be in every scene from here on out. That tandem was so good. It’s still bizarre seeing Negan as a good guy, especially knowing that he crushed the skulls of two of our favorite characters in the show. Still, the duo’s acting is phenomenal. I love the Whisperer dude who said “screw this, I’m outta here”, and ran away from Beta and the dude who got his face ripped off. That scene of the walkers drinking martinis in the bar, as Eugene went by, was like a recreation of The Haunted Mansion ride, at Disney. The worst news is that we won’t get to see the season finale until later in the year. Thanks coronavirus. For all intents and purposes, next week is the season finale for us so let’s enjoy it for now!

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Monday Morning Coffee

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March 23, 2020

Those of us who are smart are currently practicing social distancing. Meanwhile, the Rams are practicing financial distancing from Todd Gurley, after cutting him last week. This was way too premature. Gurley might not be what he was two years ago, but he’s still better than the options the Rams have at running back. This move just goes to show you that the relationship between Gurley and Sean McVay had deteriorated to its breaking point. While I admire Les Snead for going all-in to get the Rams to the Super Bowl in 2019, his long-term management of the cap and draft capital hasn’t been good. In the NFL, you don’t pay people before you need to, and the Rams did that with Gurley, Cooks, and even Goff. With no 1st round pick this year or next, the best this team can hope for is a big improvement from Jared Goff, catching lightning in a bottle with Darrell Henderson, and Sean McVay regaining his magic. Unfortunately, this team is likely going to be last in the NFC West. At least you have a new stadium to enjoy!

As for the Chargers, their off-season is actually going better than most people think. Losing out on the Tom Brady sweepstakes is actually a good thing. Now they can finally go draft a quarterback. They need one worse than most people need toilet paper right now. In the meantime, Tyrod Taylor is a good enough quarterback to keep them competitive this year, especially with an improved offensive line, and a very solid secondary. In the NFL, the less sexy your off-season looks on paper, more often than not, the better off your team is going to be. With a solid draft, this team may very well be able to sneak into the playoffs next year. Whether or not anybody will go their games though is a different story.

Elsewhere around the NFL, of course Tom Brady is going to play in Florida next year. It’s what old people from New England do. Philip Rivers signed with the Colts, which instantly makes Indianapolis the 3rd largest city in America. Then again, with gatherings limited to less than 10 people these days, Rivers might have to give up one of his kids for adoption. Bill O’Brien’s work from home stint is off to a bad start. He traded DeAndre Hopkins, and couldn’t even get a bottle of expired hand sanitizer and a pack of toilet paper in return. I’m sure he’ll be trading J.J. Watt for Mitch Trubisky and a deep dish pizza this week. Thank God for NFL Free agency right now to keep us entertained!

The NBA badly needs to come back. Nene is making low budget porns and Jamaal Murray is getting head on IG. This global pandemic needs to end ASAP. If we are lucky to get the Association back this year, these guys will probably need some sort of a mini training camp to play again. Unless you are a superstar player with a workout facility in your house, you are probably at your pad slamming Doritos and playing video games. It’s going to be a problem with so many guys out of shape, but at this stage I’d consider it a quality problem to have. In case you missed out on Nene’s low budget porn here it is….

https://twitter.com/Ballislife/status/1239199622100328451

People, what part of “stay home” and “social distancing” do you not understand? I thought it was only people in Florida who were idiots? Just because the sun came out doesn’t mean you can go to the beach. This is a serious global pandemic, and many morons were out at the beach this weekend like everything was cool. Some people were even playing basketball in Laguna, Newport, and Venice Beach. Apparently some of you need to get really sick, or see your loved ones get hospitalized to take this seriously. Look at these idiots…

Finally, another eventful episode of The Walking Dead went down last night on AMC. Spoiler alert so read no further if you plan on watching it later. I did not see this episode coming at all, as we lost another significant character. This time it’s Michonne, who is bidding us a farewell. I at least like the fact that she didn’t die in the episode, and that they are setting the stage for an appearance from her in the The Walking Dead movie. However, I still can’t really buy into the idea that she is just going to leave her daughter behind to go find Rick, and that her daughter is perfectly ok with it. I thought the alternate reality she was experiencing made it an interesting episode, but not one that I would have pictured for her last episode. She was an excellent character overall, but the sad part is you can see an expiration date in sight for this entire show given all the characters they are losing. Only 3 episodes left this season!

Monday Morning Coffee

May 16, 2020

Rudy Gobert is such a good defender, he just shutdown the entire NBA, as well as every other major professional sport in this country. I’d make fun of Gobert for being reckless and stupid, but then again so were the rest of you that were out at bars, restaurants, and other public establishments this weekend. The NBA did the right thing by acting swiftly in suspending the season the other night. On the bright side, if we are really looking at a 3-month hiatus then the Knicks have a chance to play in June for the first time since 1999. This is obviously a serious bummer for the Lakers, and even the Clippers, who were vying for an NBA Championship. Then again, there’s probably a lot bigger things to concern ourselves with at this point than NBA Basketball, as much as we could really use the distraction.

If there is one thing I have learned from this Coronavirus scare it’s that we live among people who are nothing but extreme. This is a serious situation that needs to be handled carefully by everyone. However, being careful doesn’t mean panicking and losing your mind like the world is going to end. I admit it….I actually went to a bar on Friday night, but I didn’t feel good about it and I left. The way to handle this isn’t going out in public places and go to bars and restaurants, but it certainly isn’t going to the store and buying 50 rolls of toilet paper as well as buying months of groceries. It’s called moderation and sensibility. Unfortunately, we’re learning that most people don’t have it.

One thing that hasn’t stopped is NFL Free Agency and the off-season. I’m not a fan of the new collective bargaining agreement. These owners clearly don’t care about player safety, otherwise there would be no 17th game. We also don’t need two more playoff teams. The NFL is becoming over saturated, which we saw with the creation of Thursday Night Football. Meanwhile, Ryan Tannehill just scored a $118 million deal with the Tennessee Titans. That should be able to afford him five 6-packs of toilet paper from Costco.

As for the Chargers, they placed the franchise tag on Hunter Henry last week. Has anyone checked in on him to see how he’s taking the bad news? He must feel like a prisoner that just got denied parole. .At the same time, I still can’t see the Chargers coming to a deal with Tom Brady. Even if I overlook the fact the Bolts are cheap as hell, I don’t see the cultural fit. Brady is used to a high level of intensity and accountability with a franchise he’s been with for twenty years. He can’t recreate that culture with a new team in short order.

Then there’s the NCAA, which as usual, mishandled everything this week. They disappointed everyone by canceling the tournament instead of postponing it, and there’s really no good explanation for it. I don’t buy for one second that it’s just too hard to recreate a 68-team tournament over three weeks. The NBA and the NHL have 30+ teams in their league, and 1/3 of the teams share an arena. They aren’t cancelling their seasons yet because they know they can figure out the schedule if necessary. I wouldn’t trust the NCAA to tell me what they wanted on their pizza so this has to be about money. My theory is that they get more money from their contracts by cancelling the tournament instead of postponing. Also, thanks to the NCAA for teasing us twice by suggesting they would release the 68-team bracket, and then decided not to. Now we can all imagine what it would have been like to play PlayStation at home and simulate the whole tournament. What a bunch of crooks! Hope they follow through and give all the Seniors in every winter and spring sport an extra year of eligibility.

Since people are acting like it’s the end of the world, it’s only fitting we talk about an eventful episode of The Walking Dead last night on AMC. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Apparently Negan did learn something from Rick, which we found out when he killed Alpha by slashing her throat. I guess now we know who let Negan out of jail. It was Carol, who once again proved she’s a badass. They are the ultimate apocalyptic tag team. Great episode except the one night that we needed Chris Harwick to show up and host Talking Dead he doesn’t. Damn you Coronavirus! You’re taking everything from us!

Finally, The Bachelor wrapped up last week, but not before some serious fireworks. So after all that Peter Weber ended up with nobody. We thought he was going to give it a shot with Madison, but the relationship has reportedly ended. I’ve seen 7th grade relationships last longer than this one. Peter’s major mistake was leaving Hannah Ann after she was engaged to her. I’m glad she ripped into him on National TV in the finale. Funny that everyone wants to blast Barbara for not being supportive of her son, but the reality of it is she was right all along. Barb cried so hard during those last two episodes, you would think she was at Costco and couldn’t find any toilet paper. Then again, the arguments during the finale were much better than the Democratic Presidential debate last night. Now Bachelor Nation is hyped because Hannah B went to Jupiter, FL to quarantine with Tyler C. I’d lose my mind if I were quarantined with that woman. Nevertheless, here’s to hoping we get more satisfactory endings on this show in the future.

Monday Morning Coffee

March 9, 2020

That was a spectacular weekend of basketball by the Lakers.  Wins over the Bucks and Clippers should shut up the Laker haters in the media, who seem to think they can’t beat elite teams.  Frank Vogel did an outstanding job going small to matchup with the Clips.  Avery Bradley and KCP were huge, and it was nice to see Kuz contributing in other ways than scoring.  AD dominated but I think I saw him lick his hand and low-five Bradley yesterday.  I don’t think the CDC would approve on that one.  In case you haven’t noticed, Lebron is still the best player in the world.  He just dominated both Giannis and Kawhi this weekend, and he should also be the MVP, as I said last week.  Nobody is more valuable to their team.  Hope all the Laker fans enjoy getting to troll Marcellus Wiley and the 5 other Clipper fans on Twitter after that victory.

As for the Clippers, they are still loaded and in good shape with 19 games left.  However, they have issues to workout to win these big games.  They are oozing with talent, but all of that talent needs the ball to be effective.  That was evident in the 4th quarter yesterday when Lou Williams was very quiet, and Paul George disappeared like Bernie Sanders lead in the polls.  Also, nobody complains like Doc Rivers, this time about the 1230 pm start.  I’ve got news for you Doc.  You aren’t playing at 1230 pm because you are the third tenant in the building.  You are playing at 1230 pm because you have a good team and are on National TV.

That was a tough loss for UCLA against USC on Saturday afternoon at the Galen Center. However, losing on a buzzer beater to a tournament team that is on a roll should not a be a punishment that puts the Bruins outside of the tournament. UCLA has been playing like one the top 15 teams in the country for weeks. If you think that they should be excluded from the field because they lost to some weak competition 5 months ago, you are about as spaced out as Joe Biden. This is a completely different team, not to mention one that would make the NCAA Tournament that much more fun to watch.

I don’t know if anybody has seen Dodger stadium lately, but they are working on some renovations and are way behind. Andrew Friedman’s computer must have failed him again, because I don’t see how the center field plaza they are building is going to be ready by March 26th. On a positive note though, the Dodger pitching staff is already looking really good early on in Spring Training. Now if only they could just not make us pull our hair out in October.

I’m don’t know about you guys, but I don’t like the Rams new logo.  Did LA get a new arena team because that feels like where this logo is from?  In fact, it almost looks like a Chargers/Rams logo merger.  Anything that can be made in 5 minutes on Microsoft Paint is probably not something that needs to be made into an NFL logo.  It literally looks like they just took two of the blandest letters and said, “Let’s add Donald Trump’s hair quaff to  the ‘A’ and call it a day, shall we?”.

Another episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night.  Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it so read no further if you plan on watching it later.  Is this what the Corona Virus will look like in 10 years? Negan looked like he was questioning his life choices in that first scene walking among the dead with dead skin on his face.  That episode had a slight Game of Thrones feel to it.  Carol giving The King the pity sex has to frustrate everybody hoping for Daryl and Carol to get together.  What the hell is wrong with you Eugene? You could have made out with Rosita and still gotten with your boo.  This dude couldn’t get laid if Tinder existed in the apocalypse.  Also not sure how Rosita is keeping her eyebrows on fleek like that in the apocalypse.  Too bad Hiltop doesn’t have fire insurance after Alpha burned it to the ground last night.  Guess we won’t be seeing Maggie go back there when she returns this season.  It was a pretty good episode, and looking forward to seeing where things go next week.

Finally, The Bachelor went down on ABC last week with the Women Tell All, and it’s back tonight. I know you all did a little victory dance when you learned that Victoria was sent home by Peter. It’s about time that nonsense ended. Then again, I just don’t see how Madison and Peter are compatible given their values. Did nobody notice that Madison’s rose was actually falling apart when he handed it to her? Seems indicative of the relationship. I also like how Victoria claimed she had not broken up previous relationships, but we all know the internet has receipts. I’m beginning to think that cut Peter has on his forehead might have given him brain damage for keeping Victoria around this long. This was really one of the most uneventful Women Tell All’s I can remember. Peter played nice with all his ex-girlfriends, and even the spats between all the ladies were nothing too intense. I’m anticipating some major drama these next two nights to make up for it.

Monday Morning Coffee

March 2, 2020

Last Monday morning was an incredible experience at Staples Center.  We formally said goodbye to Kobe and Gigi, even though this is something we’ll probably never get over.  Vanessa Bryant you are an incredibly strong woman for standing up and speaking in front of all those people.  It was so beautifully done, and every performer and speaker was brilliant.    I also think that Michael Jordan and Shaq provided some much needed humor in their speeches, given how heavy the entire experience was.  Lay off Lebron people.  I have no idea if he was there or not.  However, the man has the right to grieve in his own way.  He’s definitely hurting like the rest of us.  In case you missed Shaq’s speech, this moment was perfect.

On the floor, the Lakers are still in 1st place in the West after taking down New Orleans yestserday.  I sure hope the Lakers don’t play the Pelicans in the 1st round.  Zion is a beast, and Brandon Ingram is going to be seeking revenge like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill.  I realize that Giannis is having a great season, and is the best player on the team with the best record.  However, Lebron James is truly the Most Valuable Player in the league.  In his 17th season season he leads the league in assists, and the advanced stats tell you he creates more quality scoring opportunities for others on the floor than any other player in the league.  According to those analytics, if the Lakers don’t have Lebron on the floor they are arguably a lottery team.  That makes him more valuable than anybody.  Lebron does also deserve an Oscar for overselling this foul.

As for the Clippers, they found the win column yesterday against a short-
handed 76ers team.  They have looked great in the last two games, but inconsistent in others.  It makes you wonder if they really are capable of throwing the switch come playoff time.  I’m sure they wish they could play the Lakers every night, since that’s the only team they get up for, but that’s not how the league works.   Thinking you can turn it on whenever you want is a dangerous way to play, and if they get bounced in the 2nd round or earlier because of it, it’s going to be another laughable embarrassment for the franchise given the hype around them.  The Clippers went full Clippers with having a Bumble patch on their jerseys. Consider that an app for when you’re trying to find friends in your city. That franchise is going to be Milhouse forever!

It’s nice to see the Dodgers moving past the Astros cheating scandal and playing good baseball in the spring.  Clayton Kershaw and Walker Beuhler have looked great, and so has Kenley Jansen.  Also good to see the offense clicking.  However, Kike Hernandez really needs to find some pants that aren’t so tight.  Kike you are going to start a forrest fire in there my man!

The Angels have given up hope on their pitching staff for Lent. The Halos were already dealt a blow to their pitching staff over the weekend when they learned that Garrett Canning will probably start the year on the IL with elbow troubles. Since he pitches for the Angels, that already makes me think he’s headed for Tommy John surgery. At this point, Arte Moreno looks like an even bigger dope for backing out of the deal that would have brought him Ross Stripling and Joc Pederson for a can of Coke. Stripling would have easily been a front of the rotation pitcher for the Angels, and eaten up a lot of innings. The season hasn’t even started yet, and it’s already beginning like last season.

UCLA Basketball is back! Well it’s coming back at least. The energy at Pauley Pavilion over the weekend was unbelievable. The Bruins have won 7 in a row, and 11 of 13, to climb into 1st place in the Pac-12. More importantly, Joe Lunardi now has UCLA projected to be a #12 seed in the NCAA Tournament. Bruin fans haven’t been this excited since Dan Guerrero announced his retirement. Mick Cronin can coach, and these guys are truly enjoying playing with each other. There probably aren’t 15 teams in the country playing better than the Bruins, so it’s going to be an exciting March, starting with a massive showdown against USC next Saturday to finish up the regular season.

Excellent episode of The Walking Dead last night on AMC. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Judith was straight up Kevin McCallister shooting one of the “Wet Bandits” when she shot Beta in the shoulder. Can’t say I saw that one coming. You also have to love how Gamma was another prisoner that confessed her life story to Judith. She’s like a 9-year-old psychiatrist. Beta entering Alexandria from the grave was one of the creepiest things this show has ever created. His fight scene with Rosita was even more epic. She fared better than Daryl did against Alpha, especially since he got his butt saved by Lydia. I mean he did sit there and practically bleed to death while Lydia and Alpha went to therapy. I still can’t get used to the idea of Rosita and Gabriel being a couple. In any case, looking forward to next week’s episode!

Finally, The Bachelor is back tonight on ABC! This last episode killed me. I’m sure we all rolled our eyes when Peter told Victoria she had nothing to work on. So Victoria is fine going into a helicopter, yet she had a freaking panic attack going on an airplane? Oooookay that makes sense. Did nobody else notice that she actually used her dress as a tissue? How is that woman a medical device sales rep? A customer would ask her how the device worked and she would respond by saying “I don’t knowwwwww…..what do you want from me?” I can’t believe these lame producers tried to replicate the Titanic scene with Hannah Ann in the Fantasy Suite. You Bachelor Nation people are really killing me though. Last season, when Luke P slut shamed Hannah B you all killed him for it and came to his defense. Now that Madison is essentially slut shaming Peter, you all think it’s different and are coming to Madison’s defense. Bottom line though, Peter may be a dud, but he isn’t a jerk for sleeping with two other women he’s been dating for a few months, and Madison isn’t wrong for not wanting him to. They just have different values and therefore aren’t a good match. That explanation is probably too sensible for The Bachelor though.

Monday Morning Coffee

February 24, 2020

It’s always nice to beat the Celtics like the Lakers did yesterday. Hopefully the referees are going to see some good ophthalmologists this morning. The Lakers are comfortably in 1st place in the West with 27 games left so stop finding things to complain about like a nagging house wife. What you should be thrilled about is the fact that Giannis has already fueled speculation that he might come to LA to play with the Lake Show in the Summer of 2021. I’m sure some of you are already designing your knock off Laker Giannis jersey. As for the Markieff Morris addition, it’s fine and he does improve their shooting a bit, but he doesn’t fill a glaring need. He’s not a playmaker, nor is he guy who can defend big wing players. I feel bad for DeMarcus Cousins after he got waived. He’s still allowed to stay with the Lakers to use their practice facility to workout and rehab. That’s like your girl cheating on you, the new guy moves in, but she invites you to stay in the guest room so you can hear them hooking up. Pretty brutal. Still, Morris is still probably the best player that is available now that the Lakers could get their hands on without giving up anybody.

Meanwhile, the team across the hall, the Clippers, is struggling to find chemistry. I guess that’s what happens when your most key players can’t even practice because of load management. Doc Rivers uses more lineups than Andrew Friedman’s computer. He had to start Reggie Jackson in his first game, who’s really an awkward fit because he’s just another guy that needs to ball. That’s the case with the Clippers’ best players. Funny how last year everybody was riding the Lakers about lack of chemistry, and this year they have great chemistry. On the other hand, the Clippers are led by a mega billionaire that’s really trying to buy a championship, might have bought Kawhi a house, probably paid off Darren Collison to stay retired, and probably paid millions in untraceable crypto to buyout guys to not join the Lakers. Too bad you can’t buy chemistry.

Is it possible that it took until January for UCLA to realize that Mick Cronin was actually their head basketball coach? The Bruins are suddenly a possibility to be a tournament team, and at the moment there probably aren’t 15 teams that are better right now. If Cronin keeps slaying Top 25 teams like this, we’re going to start calling him “Cronin The Barbarian”. After beating Colorado, that’s the Bruin’s fifth Quad 1 win, and even though they have some glaring flaws, if they win out in the regular season they might win the PAC 12, and should very much be an at-large team. More than anything though, Cronin just has this team playing hard. Cronin is more consistent than A Few Good Men on a rainy Sunday. Keep it up Bruins!

The new proposed NFL CBA is ridiculous. These owners don’t give a crap about player safety, no matter how much they pretend to. The idea of adding two more playoff spots is silly too, because it’s just going to further dilute their product with more potentially meaningless games with under .500 teams. With 7 playoff spots in the AFC and NFC, the CBA might as well say the Browns and Cowboys will still be excluded. Also that with a 17-game season, that gives the Lions a chance to go 0-17. The two extra active roster spots will allow the Patriots to carry two extra referees on game day. And ultimately more money for the NFL, which is all they care about.

Look guys, spring training is here, and I am still not ready for Dodger baseball. I’m still going through therapy after what happened to Clayton Kershaw in Game 5 of the NLDS in October. Not to mention the fact we have to hear about the Astros screwing the Dodgers out of the World Series in 2017 on a daily basis and Rob Manfred doing nothing about it. It’s also going to get pretty awkward if these findings come out about the Red Sox cheating against the Dodgers in 2018 with Mookie Betts on the team now. What’s he going to say? “Sorry I cheated against you guys in 2018. I promise I’ll make it up to you by cheating this year to help us win.”

The Walking Dead is back! I was excited until I had to see Negan and Alpha getting naked with each other in the forest. Oh yea, spoiler alert if you have yet to see it so read no further if that is the case. Carol is such a stone cold killer that she even killed off any potential relationship she had with Daryl. You can’t get a Daryl and Carol sex scene but you can get one of Negan and Alpha. Too bad it was virtually impossible to see anything going on in the cave. The producers needed to hand everyone night vision goggles to get a good view. Connie and Magna really gonna get trapped in a Cave but Jerry got his fat butt outta there? Sheesh. Tough first episode of the mid-season premiere.

Finally, The Bachelor is back tonight on ABC and Peter has narrowed it down to three women. Peter’s choices are worse than your choices for Democratic Presidential Candidates. Peter and Victoria need to stop going to country concerts because country sucks, and because they keep running into exes. I’m convinced the only reason Peter is keeping her around is to hit it on fantasy suite night. If any of these girls end up as The Bachelorette next season we should all just feel like jumping off the roof. The scripting of this show is just getting to be too much though. Of course an ex gf is going to go on TV and bash the new girl you’re dating. Peter is a dope. We’ll see where this goes, but there are sure to be more complaints when this is over.