May 8, 2017

Hey Andrew Friedman….do you still want to send Cody Bellinger back to the minors? I didn’t think so.  Bellinger is hotter than the sun right now, and he’s the only reason the Dodgers snapped out of their early season slump.  Two Dodger stories from last week made me want to throw my laptop out the window.  The first was the idea that the Dodgers need to send Bellinger back to the minors to control his future cost.  If the Dodgers think that way, they are failing to understand that guys like Clayton Kershaw, Kenley Jansen, and Justin Turner, won’t be great forever, and that there is a window to win with them.  The other story that annoyed me was the suggestion that the Dodgers have the best pitching staff in the big leagues because they haven’t invested too much money in any single starter, except Clayton Kershaw.  This is a cute strategy until October, when you don’t have any real starting pitchers to get you through the playoffs.

I don’t know about you, but I’m shocked the Angels haven’t collapsed like the United States Congress.  How are they still hovering around .500, yet they are in the bottom third of nearly every critical offensive and defensive statistical category in the American League?  They are counting on dudes like Ricky Nolasco, Jesse Chavez, and JC Ramirez to go to the mound to get them victories.  They’ve had four guys in their lineup getting regular playing time of late hitting .200 or less.  I don’t even think the greatness of Mike Trout and Mike Scioscia can overcome this.   I think staying in the race has more to do with how terrible Texas and Seattle have been than anything else.

Let’s talk NBA playoffs.  Due to human rights concerns the NBA should suspend the remaining portion of the Eastern and Western Conference playoffs, and just give us Warriors vs Cavs.  The NBA’s motto is “NBA Cares.”  If they did, they would just give us the finals already.  The Warriors and Cavs are so much better than everybody else, there’s a very reasonable case to be made that 26 other teams in the league should tear it down and rebuild.  This is how Drake feels after his Raptors got bounced by the Cavs for the third straight year.

Lonzo Ball’s new “Big Baller Brand” sneakers will be sold for $495.  For that price I can go hire an Asian child to make unlimited pairs of his shoes.  I did hear however that 3 pairs of shoes have already been pre-ordered.  That means that “Big Baller Brand” has tripled their sales forecast.  As much fun as it is to make fun of the price and Lavar Ball, he really may turn out to be a genius.  If Lonzo ends up going to LA or New York, he gets a marketing boost right there.  Ultimately though, Lonzo has to be a star player and if he is, then what looks like a ridiculous bet on his son now may prove to pay off.

Just when you thought it was the Oilers who choked against the Ducks, now it looks like Anaheim is the real head case after losing game 6 last night.  Don’t worry Ducks fans, if you lose game 7 at home for the 5th year in a row on Wendesday, your playoff tickets can be redeemed at Zales for “choker” necklaces, in honor of your annual collapse.  I have to say though, up until last night Ryan Getzlaf has played like he’s Jesus Christ rising from the dead, and looked like one of the greatest players to ever lace up a pair of hockey skates.  The bad news for Anaheim though is that they now have 3 whole days to think about their past playoff failures before taking the ice again, which can’t be good for their chances.  I guess we’ll find out if the issue was coach Bruce Boudreau from the last four years, or if they just aren’t able to ever meet the moment.

The Kentucky Derby was won by “Always Dreaming”, which is a horse that must have been named after the Rams playoff chances.  I can definitely relate to that horse that jumped out of the gate and just said “nope” and stopped running.  He probably belongs in a rodeo instead.  The derby is easily the biggest group of white rich guys assembled since the Trump cabinet.  How could you not root for “Patch”, the one-eyed horse?

Did anybody watch the Canelo Alvarez – Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. fight? This is exactly why boxing is dying.  That was the best fight the sport could give us, in what will probably be the only big fight of the year.  Canelo is so savage, he didn’t even sit down between rounds for the entire fight.  Since most of you probably missed the fight, here is a quick recap….

May 1, 2017

The Clippers should be totally embarrassed the way the Jazz eliminated them in game 7 yesterday.  They lost 3 times at home in a seven game series.  Role players are supposed to play well at home, and the Clips role players disappeared like houdini.  JJ Redick couldn’t even get his shot off, yet somebody is going to pay him $20 million next season.  Jamal Crawford is making $14 million and was nowhere to be found for much of the series.  The Clippers “depth” is actually more shallow than Howard Stern, and that’s what really needs to be addressed in the offseason.  However, based on what we’ve heard from Steve Ballmer and Doc Rivers, keeping this team together is up to Chris Paul and Blake Griffin.  Unless the Spurs get creative with their salary cap, their probably isn’t a better place for CP3 to go.  As for Griffin, he seems uncertain whether or not he wants to stay, and the Clippers don’t seem confident in his return.  In any case, a 1st round loss in 7 is probably better for the Clippers own self perception, instead of getting swept by Golden State.

Meanwhile, the Lakers and their fans are going to be sitting on pins and needles between now and the NBA draft.  First they’ll be anxiously awaiting May 16th, which is the day they find out if they keep their top 3 protected pick.  Should they keep it, it becomes a huge building block for the future, or a very valuable trade asset.  The Laker will also be awaiting the announcement of the All-NBA teams, which they hope will not include Paul George on the 3rd team.  If it does, then there’s a much stronger likelihood that George remains an Indiana Pacer because he can be offered an extension around $220 million, which no other team can match.  How would you like to be Rob Pelinka and Magic Johnson right now?  This means that their success as executives for the next 3-5 years might just be determined by luck in the next two months.  Who could blame someone for being superstitious?

Is it too early for the Dodgers to panic? Probably not.  They just faced the worst team in the National League for four games, and could do nothing more than split four games with them.  Even their sweep against Philadelphia were unimpressive.  The rotation is so underwhelming after Clayton Kershaw.  For the last week Dave Roberts was pretending like Brandon McCarthy was the 2nd coming of Don Drysdale.  Then he looked mediocre on Saturday against the Phillies.  Now they’ll probably pretend like Alex Wood is the next Sandy Koufax.  To make matters worse, Adrian Gonzales doesn’t have any power, yet for some reason, the teams plans on sending Cody Bellinger back to the minors in a few days.  I’m not analytics guy, but I think hitting three home runs in your first week of Major League Baseball is pretty good.

As for the Angels, why didn’t Garrett Richards just have Tommy Johns surgery? He’s going to be out until near the All-Star break, and then who knows if his arm will even hold up after that.  Meanwhile, Andrew Heaney is probably going to be back in the rotation before Richards ever gets healthy again.  I’ve gotta admit though, the Angels are playing better than i thought.  It makes you think if they can stay in contention by the trade deadline, maybe reinforcements will be on the way.  However, then you realize they don’t even have the prospects to make an impact trade.  Even if they did, would it be worth it at the risk of further damaging the health of their top pitchers? The Halos need to get their young and most valuable pitchers healthy before continuing to give some “half a deck of cards” effort toward contending.  Otherwise, they really are wasting Mike Trout’s best years.

On the ice, good thing for the Ducks they won last night.  Their fans were probably having a hard time deciding whether to buy tickets to the next round, or buy a season pass at Disneyland.  The Oilers are far less intimidated by Anaheim than the Ducks thought they would be.  They also have one of the best players on the planet in Connor McDavid.  As for the NHL Draft lottery, it was crazy.  The Devils, Flyers, and Stars ended up with the top 3 picks.  To put that in perspective, the Devils had the 5th worst record, and an 8.5% chance to get the top pick.  The Flyers had the 13th worst record, and the Stars had the 8th worst record.  That means Colorado, Vancouver, Vegas, and Arizona got screwed out of good draft position after having horrible seasons.  Good thing the NHL uses E&Y.  PWC has declared La La Land the winner of the NHL Draft Lottery.

The Rams might have a new coach, but it still didn”t prevent the front office from keeping their annual tradition of draft day foolishness.  Last year, it was trading a boatload of draft picks for Jared Goff.  This year, they did not select a single offensive lineman in the draft.  That’s right folks.  The Rams had one of the worst offensive lines in the NFL last year, and did very little about it, other than 1 free agent signing.  Without a decent offensive line, I have no idea if Goff can actually play, or if Todd Gurley is good running back or not.  It’s arguably the most important position to build your team around, and the Rams have neglected it for two years.  Here comes another horrible year.

I can’t make fun of the Chargers too much for their draft, because they actually did a great job.  That’s unusual when you talk about the Bolts.  The bad thing for the Chargers is that they didn’t draft a quarterback to start grooming a successor for Philip Rivers.   Also, before you start naming the Chargers as 2017 AFC Champions, keep in mind that they still play in one of the toughest divisions in football, and will have to contend with the Raiders and Chiefs.

As for the rest of the NFL draft, Myles Garrett is on suicide watch after being draft by the Browns.  Cleveland is probably counting on a local radio contest to decide who is their starting QB in 2017.  Colin Cowherd said it best…..the NFL draft is like planning a wedding.  You start out by saying “We’ll keep it small baby, family and friends, it’s just about us and our love.”  Then three weeks before the wedding you have 300 guests, most of them business colleagues and family you hardly know, and you pay $200 for each of those charger plates underneath the plate you actually eat off of.  You do this all because you saw it at another wedding several months earlier.  NFL teams have a plan, and then they are pressured by what other teams are doing.  I guess nobody learned from the Rams stupidity last year.

Finally, ESPN has fired so many people, they had the Rocky statue covering part of the NFL Draft.  Everyone is pointing to the fact that their content is becoming more political rather than sports oriented.  However, this has nothing to do with their issues.  The customers motivation to cancel cable has killed ESPN after the billions they spent on broadcast rights fees for the NFL, NBA, and MLB.  Eventually the current cable model will be destroyed, but in the meantime, this is going to hurt cable companies and eventually sports teams.  Still, ESPN is making the cuts that are an absolute must.  If Andrew Friedman were in charge, he would have fired Linda Cohn, Max Kellerman, the legacy staff, and sent the LA SportsCenter crew to Miami.  Is it too soon for this logo?

April 24, 2017

It’s become an unfortunate annual tradition for the Clippers.  How do you know you get injured a lot? When your injuries eliminate you from the postseason even before the Clips are eliminated.  Sure enough, it happened again in game 3 vs the Jazz.  Even after losing game 4, and even after sending out a missing person alert on JJ Redick, as long as Chris Paul is on the floor the Clippers are still probably going to win this series.  However, it’s only delaying the inevitable annihilation they will take from Golden State.  The bigger question everybody wants to know about is the future.  Well for those of you saying that keeping an injury prone Griffin and keeping the band together isn’t ideal, it’s also better than the alternative.  That alternative is going back to being one of the most pathetic franchises in the NBA, which the Clips were for decades.  Doc Rivers is wrong that his team is close to winning, but he’s right that keeping the team together is what they should do.  Whether Steve Ballmer wants to foot the bill for this remains to be seen though.

The NBA just announced that the Celtics were not the #1 seed in the Eastern Conference heading into the playoffs, but instead, they were the #1 seed in the WNBA playoffs.  That team is much further away from winning anything than most people thought.  The bad news for the Lakers is that the Bulls success in this series make it more unlikely Chicago will trade Jimmy Butler.  Meanwhile, Carmelo Anthony is now taking losses on and off the court, after separating from his wife, LaLa.  I guess nobody wants to be around ‘Melo these days since Phil Jackson wants him elsewhere too.  The Grizzlies and Spurs are now locked up in a great series, and that’s thanks to the rant from Memphis Coach David Fizdale.  In case you missed it after game 2, it’s an all-timer……

Let’s go to the ice, where the Ducks swept away the Calgary Flames in their 1st round series and are ready to take on the Oilers in round 2.  Anaheim did more damage to the Flames than the Canadian dollar in the last few weeks.  Things are setting up perfectly for the Ducks, taking on an inexperienced team they should have a nice advantage against, and then potentially taking on a Predators or Blues team, who are not nearly as talented.  If the Ducks don’t get to the Stanley Cup Final, their fans should go jump off the top of the Magic Castle at Disneyland.

As for the Kings, they promoted John Stevens as their new head coach on Sunday.  Stevens is a well respected voice in their locker room, but doesn’t seem like he’s too far removed from what Darryl Sutter did.  It would be a decent hire if you like what Darryl Sutter was doing of late.  I don’t.  It would also be a decent hire if the Kings had really good young players to develop.  They don’t.  They need to re-invent they wheel, but they just don’t know it yet.

I respect people’s right to protest, but I don’t see how New England Patriot players skipping a trip to the White House to be honored for winning a Super Bowl is sending any kind of message.  The President, regardless of how you feel about him, is taking the time to honor you for your accomplishments.  If the player doesn’t want to be honored, then it’s their loss.  As for Aaron Hernandez, sad to see the downward spiral of his life, and him ultimately taking his own life.  I still don’t understand how he wasn’t convicted of that second murder.  I guess the entire O.J. Simpson jury was assigned to that case as well.

I don’t know why anybody is really surprised that the Dodger pitching staff is falling apart.  They are finally getting exposed for what they are: a bunch of injury prone, unreliable veterans, who are making way more money than they should be.  Now that they actually have decent teams in their division like the Rockies and Diamondbacks, we are just noticing their flaws earlier in the year instead of when they get exposed in October.  Andrew Friedman claims that starting pitching is one of the most overvalued positions in baseball.  The only thing overvalued is Friedman’s front office work.  Let’s see if he feels that way in another couple of weeks when the team continues to scramble to find somebody other than Clayton Kershaw to give the ball to.  I’m pretty sure trading for Ryan Braun isn’t the answer either.

If it wasn’t for facing a terrible Blue Jays team and a couple of miracle wins in the first week, you would already realize the Angels are a bad team.  Did somebody tell Mike Scioscia that the Halos are supposed to be tanking to get the #1 pick in the draft?  It sure seems like it since he keeps insisting on sticking Jefry Marte in the lineup with his crummy defense.  Scioscia claims that the Angels need his bat, but apparently he didn’t notice that Marte was hitting .179 coming into Sunday.  Don’t forget about Danny “Mendoza Line” Espinosa, whose batting average is so consistently low, you can never tell if he’s in a slump or not.

I was under the impression that the Raiders were no longer a Mickey Mouse franchise in the NFL, but apparently I was mistaken.  Instead of re-signing 27-year-old running back Latavius Murray, who had a nice season last year, they are replacing him with a 31-year-old Marshawn Lynch, who has been sitting on his couch eating skittles for the last year.  Apparently their justification for this is that Lynch is from Oakland, so he should give the local fans a reason to show up to their games.  Those same local fans they will be leaving behind in a year or two when they move to Vegas.  With the NFL draft later this week, hopefully the Rams and Chargers don’t have any of these stupid moves planned themselves.  You know….something as stupid as trading a boat load of draft picks for Jared Goff.

Finally, People Magazine named Julia Roberts the most beautiful woman in the world last week.  Which world are they talking about?  I initially thought that the writers of People Magazine gave up common sense for Lent.  However, upon further examination I realize that this is the 5th time this has happened!  Apparently we are still in the year 1991.

April 17, 2017

Wasn’t this postseason supposed to be different for the Clippers? I know we said that last year, and the year before that, and the year before that, and the year before that.  But we really meant it this year.  18 seconds into Saturday night’s game, this series should have been over, after the Jazz lost Rudy Gobert to a knee injury.  Somehow, it was like the series was just getting started.  The Jazz are making this series more physical than a flight on United Airlines, and the Clippers are in for a serious challenge.  You know it’s playoff time when the Clipper bench is getting destroyed by their opponents.  It’s like an annual curse that has returned once again.  This is going to be a long series.

Then there’s the Lakers, whose season has mercifully come to an end.  As bad as it was, 26 wins is a lot better than 17 from a year ago.  Had they stayed healthy in December, it might have been well over 30.  The real question though is whether or not Magic and Rob Pelinka are going to keep a bunch of 20 and 21 year-olds and let them grow together, or are bunch of them are going to be traded for a veteran star or two?  I don’t get the sense that these two gentleman came to run the Lakers to wait 5 years to hope the team is competitive again.  I also don’t get the feeling that Jeanie Buss hired them to wait that long as well.  It’s tough to sign a star player if you don’t already have one here, so be prepared for the Lakers to be in some blockbuster trade discussions.

The NBA Playoffs started Saturday. That special time of year with slam dunks, tough defensive battles, and nonstop flopping!  It’s also that special time of year when Draymond Green really steps up efforts kicking opponents in the junk.  The Raptors took a a game 1 loss. In other news Canada is cold and they love maple syrup.  Brad Stevens should call Bill Belichick for some tips on how to cheat to win playoff games.  The Grizzlies took a senseless beating from the Spurs in game 1.  Who knew ESPN could show violence like that? The Cavs were fortunate to win game 1 against the Pacers, but I still don’t think they are going to have any problem getting to the finals.  I also don’t think the Warriors are going to have a problem winning them.

The Dodgers have taken their problems hitting left-handed pitching to a whole new level.  After two weeks they are hitting just .226 against left-handers.  It’s like Andrew Friedman asked himself how it was possible to make the team worse at hitting lefties than last season.  It’s become so bad that teams are now starting left-handers that have now business being in the big leagues against the boys in blue.  To make matters worse, it feels like they can only beat crummy NL West teams, and that they aren’t really that good. I don’t know why I’m acting surprised.  The only bright spot is that Yasiel Puig appears to have remembered how to play baseball again.

Then there’s the Angels who’s season is starting to fall apart two weeks in.  The team finally got a couple of reasonable pitching performances over the weekend, and they still managed to get swept by the Royals.  Mat Shoemaker and Tyler Skaggs aren’t going to pitch like that consistently.  It’s as though the team has a collection of #4 starters in their rotation.  There’s no point in having great defense when your pitchers can’t keep the ball in the ballpark.  Were in not for two miracle comebacks, you would realize a lot faster that the Angels just aren’t very good.

If the Anaheim Ducks can’t win the Stanley Cup this year, I’m not sure they ever will again.  The Blackhawks and Sharks could be eliminated shortly, leaving a bunch of inexperienced and less talented opponents for the Ducks to take advantage of.  It also helps to be playing a Calgary Flames team that hasn’t won in Anaheim in 29 tries.  You can’t have any bigger psychological edge that that. Plus when goals like this happen, it makes you think that you are just a team of destiny…..

Then there’s the LA Kings, who cleaned house last week by firing coach Darryl Sutter, and GM Dean Lombardi.  This just goes to show you how brutal sports are.  Lombardi and Sutter won two Stanley Cups in four years, and went to a a conference finals as well.  Although they missed the playoffs in two of the past three seasons, they are easily the most successful coach and GM in franchise history.  Still, the fact that they were fired shows how dedicated the Kings are to winning, and the kind of expectations ownership has for the franchise.  For the time being though, they will be dedicated to sitting on their couch for the next 3 months watching the playoffs.

The hot rumor around LA is that the Rams could hire Peyton Manning to run their front office.  My only question here is what is taking so long for this to happen? Manning adds instant credibility to a team who appears to have given up their credibility for Lent.  The Rams trade for Jared Goff was more of a headline grabbing move, as opposed to a sensible football move.  Manning would bring far more of that sensibility to the organization.

Finally, Better Call Saul is back on AMC.  The season 3 premier was last Monday, and it’s a great show.  However, as great as it is, it’s no Breaking Bad, and nor will it ever will be.  Most of the excitement that is generated by the show is from all the connections to Breaking Bad, which many fans of both shows pick up.  For instance, most people are just excited by the fact that Gus Fring is going to play a major role in this season, since he played a huge role in Breaking  Bad.  I still don’t understand however, why they can’t figure out what to do with Rhea Seehorn.  Her character just isn’t very interesting on the show compared to everyone else around her.  Don’t get me wrong….it’s a great show, but at the end of the day, it’s always going to leave you wanting more from it.

April 10, 2017

It’s funny how the Dodgers don’t look that great against real competition.  If only they could play the Padres every week.  They still also don’t look great against left handed pitching.  Any team facing the Dodgers might as well go get a 12-year-old left hander, and start them against the boys in blue, and they should have no problem shutting them down.  Maybe if Andrew Friedman stopped forcing Dave Roberts to move guys in and out of the lineup like he was changing lines on a hockey team, the Dodgers might have more success hitting against pitchers that have no business shutting them down.  It’s also no surprise Rich Hill is back on the DL with a blister injury.  Hopefully he has already started peeing on it to make it better.

As for the Angels, they are off to a nice 5-2 start after a huge comeback win yesterday afternoon.  However, it feels like we’re waiting for the other shoe to drop and the season to fall apart.  Ricky Nolasco has put up a decent effort in two starts, but if the Halos are relying on Nolasco to be their most reliable pitcher, they can count on being eliminated from playoff contention before the Clippers.  There’s no true ace on the staff.  Garrett Richards could be, but his arm could need to be replaced by the time he throws his next pitch.  The bullpen has no defined roles, and the division is tougher than facing Mike Tyson in the ring with one hand tied behind your back.

To the NBA, where the Lakers tanking efforts aren’t going well.  Then again, what more do you want them to do? The Lakers have shut down Timofey Mozgov, Luol Deng, and Nick Young.  They are even sitting D’Angelo Russell and Brandon Ingram when they start to play well.  All of this, and they have found a way to win 4 in a row at the worst time.  Each win further damaging their chance to hang on to their top 3 protected pick.  Now there’s no chance the Lakers will have better than a 46% chance at keeping the pick, because you can bet they will finish with the 3rd best record.  If the Lakers come away from this garbage season without a lottery pick, I’m going to want to jump off the Santa Monica pier.  It’s especially frustrating knowing how pointless that 10-10 start was.

As for the Clippers, they have the inside track for home court advantage against the Jazz in the 1st round.  They are starting to play well, and should have no problem taking care of Utah in 4 or 5 games.  However, they also have the inside track on taking a serious beating from the Golden State Warriors in the 2nd round.  The Clips have proven by now that they have a major matchup advantage against the Spurs.  Unfortunately, they probably won’t get the chance to exploit that matchup in the playoffs.  As good as Chris Paul and Blake Griffin are, they may have just come along at the wrong time.  I guess we’ll find out in a few weeks.

I was wondering what happened to Lavar Ball since we hadn’t heard from him in a few weeks.  Sure enough, he emerged from his silence, and blamed the UCLA loss on having “three slow white guys” on the court.  I guess nobody told Lavar that his son is only half black.  Of course Lavar decided to blame the media for taking his words out of context.  It’s only a matter of time before the man gets a radio show on ESPN Radio 710 AM, as well as his own reality show.

Last week’s NCAA Basketball National Championship game was just a reminder of how awful college basketball has become.  Gonzaga and UNC could not throw the ball into the ocean for most of the game.  It was competitive, but the UNC victory was sloppier than a Thursday night on sorority row at USC. The one and done has destroyed the quality of college basketball, and the quality of the NBA.  I remember when college basketball had great players, and those great players came into the NBA and made an impact right away.  Gone are those days, and they probably aren’t coming back anytime soon.

How ironic was this? Tony Romo has intercepted Phil Simms broadcasting career at CBS.  Here’s a look at Romo’s inbox after announcing his retirement, and move into broadcasting…..

Good thing Sergio Garcia won the Masters.  No pressure or anything, but Donald Trump was going to deport him had he finished in 2nd.  Garcia winning the green jacket is like seeing Jay Cutler win a Super Bowl.   Let’s be honest though.  We’re all just mad that Dustin Johnson didn’t play in the Masters because we didn’t get to see a weekend of Paulina Gretzky on TV.  Somewhere at a night club in Vegas, Johnson and Tiger Woods were probably partying with hookers and cocaine.

Let’s go to the ice where the Ducks claimed their 5th straight Pacific Division title yesterday with an overtime win over the Kings, in the regular season finale for both teams.  In that time, they don’t have a single Stanley Cup.  Are there odds any better this year? I’ll believe it when I see it, but they might as well have a first round bye since they are playing the Calgary Flames.  The last time Calgary won in Anaheim, Lance Armstrong was still seen as an American hero.  That playoff series is over and it hasn’t even started.

As for the Kings, the story is Bob Miller, their hall of fame play-by-play announcer.  Miller is a voice that I will always remember as part of my childhood listening to Kings game.  I have always been impressed with his ability to call an exciting game, whether or not the Kings were winning or losing.  His professionalism is second to none.  Sadly, he is also the last hall of fame LA sports broadcaster to retire between Chick Hearn, Vin Scully, and now him.  Congrats on a legendary career Bob, and glad to see that the Kings were able to win two cups for you before you retired.  Given the state of the Kings though, it might be a while before we see them win another cup.

April 3, 2017

Baseball season is upon us folks. Opening day is today, and that means it’s time for Dodgers baseball! Unfortunately, Vin Scully won’t be there to tell us that.  Trying to make predictions for an upcoming baseball season is like stepping into a batting cage after 5 shots of tequila.  With that being said, its safe to say the Dodgers have a good team, just not one good enough to win the World Series.  You have to have real pitching for that.  You can’t have Clayton Kershaw and 6 other arms you claim will give you “depth”, while many of them are nearly guaranteed to get hurt.  You also can’t expect to get consistent performances from your outfielders when you determine which ones will play on a daily basis by some cute little numbers.  The Dodgers will win the NL West.  However, anything beyond that and you can forget it.

Then there’s the Angels, who have to deal with playing in the toughest division in baseball.  The Halos need a lot to go right to be playing in the postseason.  They need Garrett Richards, Tyler Skaggs, and Matt Shoemaker to stay healthy, and pitch as well as they did 2 years ago.  They’ll also need to have a 2nd baseman and a left fielder that is capable of hitting above the Mendoza line.  It feels like the Angels might have better odds playing the Powerball than for all that to happen.

To the NBA, where everybody is wondering: what is the Laker front office planning to do? Jeanie Buss mentioned the other day that she would be “heartbroken” if the Lakers don’t have an All-Star next year with the game being in LA.  That feels like some indirect pressure on the front office to go acquire a star.  I don’t get the feeling that the Lakers want to wait 3 more years for D’Angelo Russell or Brandon Ingram to become an All-NBA player, even if they have that potential.  However, even if they could acquire both Paul George and Jimmy Butler, would that be good enough to compete with the Warriors? Being competitive immediately sounds great, but if you can’t build a team that can compete for championships year in and year out, then what’s the point?  Even though some of these Laker games these days are uglier than the Ronaldo statue, there’s still a very reasonable case for building from within…for now.

People really think that the Cavaliers are not going to come out of the East? The Cavs aren’t playing defense right now because they are bored.  Although they look like they are fading faster than J.R. Smith after a bottle of Hennessey, they will be fine.  Lebron James isn’t bored because he knows he’s playing for his legacy as one of the best players of all-time.  He’s not slowing down, even though his teammates might be.  Still, when the playoffs roll around, the Celtics, Raptors, Wizards, or any of these other Eastern Conference pretenders will have no chance to beat the Cavs 4 times in 7 tries.

The Final Four gave us a couple of good games over the weekend.  I’m beginning to think that Gonzaga’s starting center is really 55 years old.  That probably explains why he dominated South Carolina in the paint.  South Carolina is so upset that they have been burning Confederate flags every since the loss.  Meanwhile, Oregon players looked like they were allergic to the basketball while trying to grab a rebound at the end of that UNC game.  I’m sure the Ducks have special uniforms just to sit at home and watch the National Championship game from their couch on Monday night.  The Tar Heel players are just excited they don’t have to be in class on Monday.  Good luck to many of those that have tickets to Monday nights game.  You probably have a better view of the court from outside your house than you do while in the arena.

The LA Kings were officially eliminated from playoff contention last night, which was simply a formality.  The more I watch the Kings, the more I realize that they are simply too old.  In the NHL today, if you are 30 years old, it is almost the equivalent of being 40 years old.  If you are 25 years old, you are essentially a veteran.  The Kings’ core is old.  Drew Doughty is 27, Anze Kopitar is 29, Jeff Carter is 32, and Jonathan Quick is 31.  Even players like Tyler Toffoli and Tanner Pearson are of “veteran age”.  It’s time to dump some contracts, even if it means eating money, and getting younger.

The Raiders are moving to Vegas!  This means that NFL teams are hoping that if they lose a road game to the Raiders it won’t count since what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.  Aside from the fact the crime rate in Vegas is going to be going up, this is a great move for the franchise.  The Raiders in Vegas is perfect for the brand, and since most of the fan base is very transient anyway, they won’t have an issue retaining many of their season ticket holders, as well as getting a number of new ones.

Finally, the season finale of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night.  Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if that is the case.  Knowing what I know about the comics, I have to say I was mildly disappointed that the storyline didn’t get further along than where we ended up after season 7.  However, the finale was still an uplifting episode.  You have to appreciate the fact that somehow, Maggie keeps her eyebrows plucked during the chaos of the apocalypse.  You know why Ezekiel is King? Because he brings a Tiger to a bat fight.  Rick clearly drew the line when Negan said he was taking the pool table.  Even in ancient times they would kill your cattle and burn your village, but they never took your pool table.  I knew Jadis was evil just from her haircut.  Nobody with bangs like that can be good.  It was really nice to see Carol getting her gun on again.  I’m sad to see Sasha go, but that was definitely one moment I wanted to see a Walker win a fight.  R.I.P Sasha.  I’m not sure what makes you want to cry more: Maggie’s final words about Glenn, or the fact that you won’t get to see another episode until October! Peace out TWD.  This is how we all felt after Carl was saved by Shiva……

March 27, 2017

I don’t know what’s more disappointing for UCLA fans.  The fact that they lost in the Sweet 16 for the 3rd time in the last 4 years, or the fact that Steve Alford is still going to be coaching this team moving forward.  UCLA is getting exactly what I thought they would get with Alford.  A coach who is a tremendous recruiter, but one who is unable to harness that talent into tournament success.  As great as the Bruins’ offense was, their defense is what led to their downfall, and that’s always what leads to the fall of Alford’s teams come tournament time.  Lonzo Ball had a great season, but on Friday he got outplayed by De’Aaron Fox and Malik Monk.  The Bruins were entertaining this season and slightly more relevant than in previous years, but the reality of it is that UCLA basketball still isn’t where it should be.

Say what you will about Lavar Ball and his craziness, but the man is actually a genius.  He is building a brand for his kids.  He is also wildly entertaining when you put a microphone in front of him.  Sports are about entertainment value, and it seems like for years to come his kids are going to be providing that entertainment on the floor, while he provides the entertainment for us off the floor.  As for his proclamation that his kids are worth $1 billion, if Lonzo ends up on the Lakers, don’t be surprised if one of the most successful business men in the world helps makes that happen, Magic Johnson.

What a great game between Kentucky and North Carolina yesterday.  There were so many lead changes that Drake kept switching between his UNC and UK jersey all game long.  UNC is the easy pick to win the Final Four.  Meanwhile, Kansas has clinched their annual spot on their couch for the Final Four after losing to Oregon.  I’d say South Carolina busted your bracket, but the reality of it is your bracket was probably busted long ago.  Gonzaga really lucked out that Arizona was upset by Xavier.  They also lucked out that West Virginia somehow couldn’t even get a shot up in the last twenty seconds of the game.  That kid is still probably dribbling the ball as we speak.

I loved seeing the Lakers unveil Shaq’s statue on Friday, outside of Staples Center.  However, what really almost made me cry was listening to Kobe talk about Shaq both during the ceremony, and to the media leading up to it.  “When you win three titles together and you’ve had so much impact on one another’s legacy as a player and as a champion,” Kobe said by phone last week, “there is absolutely no way in the world I would miss an opportunity to talk about him and thank him and to acknowledge everything that he’s done for not only this organization and the city, but for me personally.”  Kobe and Shaq grew up before our very eyes.  We can only hope we are fortunate enough to witness another Laker duo as fun as it was watching them play.

It looked like the Clippers were getting their act together when they defeated Utah on Saturday.  Then they blew an 18 point lead against Sacramento yesterday, and lost at home.  The real reminder is that the bench isn’t really as reliable as we thought it was.  The bench was outscored 46-28 yesterday, mostly while CP3, Blake, and DeAndre were resting.  Of even greater concern are comments from JJ Redick and Blake Griffin mentioning things like “lack of spirit”, uncertainty around game plans, and overall lack of chemistry.  Given the amount of time this team has been together, that shouldn’t be the case.  If anything, the Clips biggest problems seem more psychological.

It’s amazing how the media milked the story last week about NBA teams resting stars. This is really only a significant story for a handful of players like Lebron, Westbrook, Harden, Durant, and Curry.  Those are the only players people really care about seeing, and people will spend their hard earned more for the chance to watch those players play.  With that being the case, the league should do a better job scheduling nationally televised games, and avoiding back-to-back games for teams on those nights.  That would increase the likelihood of star players playing.  At the same time though, NHL players have an even more grueling game to play, and they don’t complain that they need rest.  NBA players need to stop being so soft, and understand their responsibility to the fans who actually make the league what it is.

Congratulations to the United States for winning the World Baseball Classic by defeating Puerto Rico.  Puerto Ricans haven’t been this upset since Menudo broke up.  Somehow Ian Kinsler managed to become public enemy #1.  I didn’t actually watch more than 5 seconds of the tournament.  That’s because winning the WBC is like being the smartest person at a monster truck rally.  It’s cool, but it really means nothing.

NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman says it’s doubtful NHL players will participate in the 2018 Winter Olympics.  Good one Gary.  You and I both know you can’t afford to not send players to the Olympics.  It’s too much free marketing and exposure for the NHL and its player’s, who love representing their countries by the way.  It’s going to happen.

Finally, another episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night.  Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan to watch it later.  Second to last episode of the season goes down, and amazingly, nobody of significance died.  I have a feeling that’s going to change next week.  If you didn’t like the episode, you don’t like character development.  I do wish however, that we would get to see the backstory on Negan.  I’m sure we were all shocked that Gregory couldn’t fight off a walker.  Carl has pretty good aim to be able to shoot while holding a gun up to his patched eye…..

March 20, 2017

Let’s start with UCLA.  The Bruins had a few very nervous moments in their 1st weekend of the NCAA tournament, but got by Kent State and Cincinnati.  Lonzo Ball managed to cure cancer, and end the dispute between Israel and Palestine, as well as score 19 points last night.  Well at least according to his father Lavar, he will eventually do all those things.  Knowing Steve Alford though, the downfall will be on Friday against Kentucky, because the Sweet 16 is always where his road ends.  I can’t see UCLA surviving that game, let alone a game after that against UNC, in what will basically be two hostile road games.  Speaking of Steve Alford though, you know that UCLA fans are just chomping at the bit for him to take the $31 million that Indiana is offering him and hit the road.  On the other hand, they are probably hoping he’ll take Dan Guerrero with him too, which won’t happen.  As we’ve seen before, Guerrero is unlikely to hire a superior replacement, so don’t count on the 2nd coming of John Wooden coming to Westwood.

Meanwhile, despite losing yesterday to Baylor, the Trojans made a strong showing in the tournament.  Frankly, had USC not been playing their third game in five days, they might have actually had the energy and the mental toughness to finish that game.  However, the committee screwed them by forcing them to play in the First Four game on Wednesday night.  That goaltending call on Chimezie Metu was nearly a spectacular play that might have been the play that gave the Trojans the win.  However, USC is going to go home and take shots of whiskey at the Nine-O when they come to grips with the fact that they would have faced an East Regional without the top two seeds, Duke and Villanova.  That’s right….Andy Enfield would have had a real chance to send the Trojans to the Final Four.

Elsewhere around March Madness, you’re bracket is really jacked up now.  But think of it this way, you took one for America.  Duke is out, so the country wins.  If anybody actually watched college basketball, which we all pretend to, we would have known that Villanova was going to get exposed in the 1st weekend.  UNC also got a late clutch performance by the referees to advance to the round of 16.  I thought Vanderbilt kids were supposed to be smart?  Apparently not after intentionally fouling in a tie-game.  Louisville also went down faster than a call girl on a high school recruiting trip.    After the 1st weekend, there are 164 perfect ESPN brackets remaining.  Lavar Ball claims he owns all of them.

Why are the Lakers screwing with D’Angelo Russell’s confidence so much?  Just let the kid play like he did last night! That was the perfect tanking game.  Russell exploded for a career-high against elite competition, all five young Laker starters showed some nice development, and the Lakers lost in competitive fashion.  For all the criticism that Byron Scott got for benching Russell last year, Luke Walton is actually playing him fewer minutes on average than last season.  I thought Luke was supposed to be promoting development? I also don’t understand why Russell and Clarkson haven’t spent more time playing together in the backcourt.  If they are the backcourt of the future, then they should be developed together.  At least Magic and Rob Pelinka are taking their tanking efforts very seriously.

Speaking of tanking, had it not been for Saturday’s win, you might think the Clippers are tanking with the way they’ve been playing of late. When I watch the Clips play since the All-Star break when they’ve been healthy, it’s like they’ve aged overnight.  Teams like the Warriors, Rockets, and even the Nuggets and Jazz suddenly seem more athletic with better shooting.  If that’s not bad enough, JJ Redick makes it sound like the team is questioning the defensive game plan on a nightly basis.  In a lot of ways though, it seems like the Clippers curse is with their bench.  Every year it seems like Doc has found some useful pieces on the bench, but when it really counts, they don’t play well.  That’s what’s happening again.  There’s not much more time for them to get it right with just a couple of weeks left in the regular season before playoff time.

So you thought it was last night the LA Kings playoff hopes were toast? It actually happened a week ago when they lost to St. Louis at home.  That was the official nail in the coffin.  Last night just exposed the Kings for what their team has become.   An aging group that is playing a style that is suddenly outdated.  The Kings players may not be old in age, but they’ve played enough hockey to be old.  They need to get younger and faster, and find a way to unload some of the terrible contracts they gave the Dustin Browns and Marian Gaboriks of the world.  It’s just a matter of whether or not it will be Dean Lombardi that’s going to do it or another General Manager taking his place.

I think the Angels have a permanent curse in left field.  Now it’s Cameron Maybin’s turn.  He was in an 0-20 slump before finally breaking out of it on Saturday.  Then there’s Danny “Mendoza line” Epsinosa, who’s career batting average is so low, we might not even realize when he’s actually in a slump.  We haven’t even started the season yet and the Angels warning flags are up.

The Walking Dead went down last night on AMC, and the season is building toward a big last two episodes.  Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if that is the case.  I thought for sure we we’re going to see Sasha and/or Rosita die last night, but I guess we will have to wait at least one more episode.  In other words, nothing happened.  I guess Eugene didn’t want to leave without his pickles.  The Saviors traded a box of aspirin for a real doctor.  Now that sounds like real American healthcare.  Simon probably just gave Gregory directions to a toilet so he could find somebody who gives a crap.  When Darryl cries, we all cry.  I’m looking forward to an all-out war in the last two episodes of the season.  At least I hope so because the last 13 episodes have been pretty slow.

Finally, what a horrible ending to ABC’s The Bachelor last Monday night.  The finale was so not Raven.  It’s like Nick picked Vanessa because he knew he didn’t want either woman that was left, and wanted the relationship to fail.  Perhaps if Raven just hit him with a stiletto, as she did with her ex, he might have actually had some sense beat into him.  We kept hearing about “the most shocking thing in Bachelor history.”  I thought this would be that somebody actually said “yes” to a Nick proposal.  Anybody that thinks Nick and Vanessa are going to get married need to be hit with a stiletto.  Think of it this way.  Nick gives every man in the world hope that if you are boring, and get rejected enough times, you too can marry a girl that completely hates you.

March 13th, 2017

The Lakers introduced Rob Pelinka as their new General Manager on Friday.  I heard a lot of good things from Pelinka, and it’s exciting, not just because he looks like Rob Lowe.  However, I also heard something a little concerning as well.  I heard a lot of talk about free agency.  If there’s anything we’ve learned over the past five seasons of Laker basketball, it’s that free agency by itself is a lousy way to build a team, and it’s about to get a lot lousier with the new CBA.  However, when you do an excellent job of drafting and developing players, you give yourself the opportunity to get elite free agents, and elite talent via trade.  Rob Pelinka probably has some great relationships with players, but hopefully he’ll have more than that to sell to free agents during the offseason.  As for the Lakers, here’s a summary of their season in 30 seconds……

On to college hoops, where March Madness is upon us, and the NCAA tournament bracket is set.  That means UCLA’s fate has been determined after their disappointing showing over the weekend in their conference tournament.  The Bruins blew a major opportunity to get a a #2 seed in the West, and have a very favorable path to the Final Four.  Now their potential 2nd round matchup won’t be easy, and then they’ll probably have to face Kentucky and UNC to get to the Final Four.  The bigger concern is the fact that UCLA reminded us over the weekend that they live and die by the 3-point shot, and that they can revert back to not playing any defense at any time.  Lonzo Ball is banged up, Bryce Alford can’t get any shots off other than 3-pointers,  and suddenly, I’m feeling a lot less confident about Steve Alford coaching the Bruins now that’s it’s March.

As for the Trojans, they narrowly made the NCAA Tournament, and will be participating in the play-in game on Tuesday vs Providence.  USC will be the #11 seed.  Sure enough, they are playing the team that played them last season in the 1st round, and beat them at the buzzer.  That’s about as surprising as a USC student being hungover for class on Friday, after a Thursday night frat party.  The selection committee loves these type of re-matches and creating story lines out of them.  The Trojans game against Providence, and potentially SMU after that should be close ones.  They are evenly matched, and USC should feel good that they beat SMU back in November.  They probably won’t make it too much further though, with Baylor awaiting the winner of that game.

As for the rest of the bracket, Arizona might as well have a bye to the Final Four.  You can pencil in Gonzaga to be upset by the Sweet 16 every year, and this year is no different.  Congratulations to Kentucky for winning the SEC tournament.  Their players are clearly earning all the money they are being paid.  Word is President Trump has selected Trump University to win it all in his NCAA bracket.    Kansas also has a fairly easy route to the Final Four but you can always count on them to blow it.  That’s an annual guarantee like people smoking weed at Coachella.

The Rams went out and spent money on former USC receiver Robert Woods last week.  I realize that the Rams needs help at wide receiver, but $15 million guaranteed for Robert Woods? Alshon Jeffrey got $14 million guaranteed and at least he was once a Pro Bowler.  When you include Tavon Austin, that’s two receivers the Rams have overpaid for that are really #3 receivers on a good team.  They should be directing most of their resources at the offensive line.  Andrew Whitworth was a good start, but they need more.

If you think the Rams are having an unspectacular offseason thus far, the Chargers look like they are trying to give their new cross-town rivals a run for their money.  The Bolts signed Russell Okung to help their offensive line, but apparently Okung nor the Chargers knew the rules about negotiating with a player who didn’t have an agent.  They might have tampered by negotiating with him prior to the period when it was allowed.  Based on how Okung played last season though, they probably have more to worry about him protecting Philip Rivers than the tampering issue.

I’m not in denial anymore.  The LA Kings aren’t making the playoffs folks.  Every time i find myself saying they are only a few points behind one particular team for the last playoff spot, a week later that team is about 10 points ahead of them.  The same is about to happen with St. Louis, who is coming to Staples Center tonight.  The wins the Kings are picking up now needed to happen back in December and January.

A tragic episode of The Walking Dead went down last night on AMC.  SPOILER ALERT for those of you who have yet to see it so read no further if you are watching it later.  The Saviors have officially lost their minds, in case we weren’t sure before.  Now they are shooting people over a missing cantaloupe.  Our favorite killer homemaker finally knows what happened in Alexandria, and Morgan is about to do his Rambo impersonation.  It only took 13 episodes, daylight savings time, and a cantaloupe.  I don’t remember a cantaloupe causing this much drama since Janet Jackson’s at the Super Bowl.  Apparently in the apocalypse your life is worth 1 cantaloupe.  Why isn’t Ezekiel bringing Shiva to these meetings?   The last three episodes of this season are going to be epic.

Finally, it’s about to go down tonight on The Bachelor.  The finals between Vanessa and Raven.  However, when it’s over, you’ll think Nick is going to choose Raven, but he’s really going to choose nobody.  Which we all agree is better than living in Canada.  The producers must have blown the whole budget on the trip to Finland so they had to settle for ice baths for Nick and Vanessa’s date.  Either that or Nick was determined to give Vanessa pneumonia.  In the last episode, Nick saw more action than Chuck Norris does with 4 different girls in fantasy suites.  The only difference is the action Chuck Norris sees can kill him, while the action Nick sees can give him herpes.  My favorite part of the last episode was when Vanessa said this is the best relationship she’s been in.  Really? The best relationship you’ve ever been in is with somebody who was dating two dozen women at the same time? Corrine and champagne  are one of the ultimate duos of all-time.  She was going off at Taylor during the women tell all.  It felt like Josephine was Corrine’s hype man, supporting her with every word that came out of her mouth.  Poor Taylor though….I guess she gave up her career for lent.

March 6th, 2017

Just when you thought the Laker front office was stabilizing, Jim Buss comes back to screw the franchise.  That’s right folks, Jim Buss wasn’t going to go quietly into the night after his sister fired him.  It’s like watching an episode of Game of Thrones, except Jim’s removal was more like “The Purple and Gold Wedding”.  Jim and his brother Johnny, are trying to take control, but I don’t see it happening.  The fact that Jim and Johnny’s first attempt to oust Jeanie was shot down rather quickly, suggests that he and Johnny are being nothing but foolish and vengeful.  I also love how Jim’s attorney tried to do major damage control after the story leaked, claiming that the two brothers support her.  It was also interesting to see  NBA spokesman Mike Bass quickly issue a statement in support of Jeanie and her importance as an owner in the NBA.  There’s simply no way that the NBA is going to allow the Billy Madison of the Buss family to be the controlling owner of the Lakers.  I guess we’ll know for sure on May 15th when a judge reviews the family trust.  Who says the Lakers aren’t playing in the post season?

Meanwhile, the Clippers have been having their own problems on the court of late.  They’ve lost 4 of their last 5 games, and have been getting destroyed by their top competition in the Western Conference.  Even more alarming was the fact that they got blown out by the Houston Rockets by 30 points at home.  Weren’t the Clippers supposed to have this great bench this year? Don’t people say the Clippers are going to have a great bench every year? Well once again, they don’t.  Austin Rivers is not a real point guard.  Ray Felton is past his prime, and Jamal Crawford has been in a horrible slump.  Everyone is healthy, and the Clippers still can’t hang with the best teams in the West.  They also can’t defend against good 3 point shooting teams.  We all know how this movie ends, but Doc Rivers is of course pretending like he hasn’t seen it five times.

Next week is going to be an amazing Pac 12 Tournament in Las Vegas.  UCLA is probably going to have to go through USC, Arizona, and then Oregon to win the tournament.  The good news though is that if they beat those three teams, they will be a #1 seed in the Western Region.  However, the Bruins better hope that freshman forward TJ Leaf will be healthy enough to play next week.  There’s no way UCLA can contend with the size of Arizona without having their own skill in the paint in Leaf.  This is going to be fun, and the NCAA Tournament is going to be even better the following week.

I can’t believe how early spring training started this year.  And we wonder why pitchers keep having Tommy John’s surgery? That leads us to the Dodgers.  I can’t believe some people are buying into the nonsense that the Dodgers are world series contenders.  I must have missed the part where the Dodgers acquired another reliable starting pitcher over the winter.  I also must have missed the part where they added some more trustworthy arms in their middle relief.  On top of that, they can’t decide on 3 regular outfielders, which screws up the quality of their play by shuffling them in and out of the lineup.  Until that changes, this team might win the division, but is nothing more than a pussy cat in the postseason.

Then there’s the Angels, who are playing in the AL West, which should be known as “the division of death.”  The Halos are going to have to figure out a way to deal with a young and talented Houston team, an always solid Texas team, and a Mariners team that is bound to make the playoffs one of these years we keep making fun of them.  I can’t imagine that the Angels aren’t going to score runs, but its a matter of whether or not their starting pitchers can stay off of the operating table.  The Halos aren’t even sure Garrett Richards is going to be healthy and return to the ace he once was.  They’ll also need to get lucky with a few more arms on their staff.  Mike Trout is amazing, but he can’t do it all.  The Angels are going to need to get lucky to get into the post season.

I still think the LA Kings are in serious danger of missing the playoffs.  Jerome Iginla is 39 years old.  Acquiring him last week was a great move….5 years ago.  Even though it’s low risk, LA just doesn’t have the goal scorers this year to get it done.  It’s like watching a team throw for 400 yards every game in the NFL, but never score inside the red zone.  The Kings dominate the shots, the possession stats, and even special teams, but they get outscored 5-on-5.  Then there’s the Ducks who acquired the player the Kings needed at the deadline: Patrick Eaves.  Anaheim has their own goal scoring issues, but is still in good position to make the playoffs, and then see what happens from there.

Last night’s episode of The Walking Dead was the equivalent of watching an apocalyptic  honey moon.  Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it so read no further if that is the case.  You didn’t really think that Rick died in that episode did you? I would hope if it ever came to that, it wouldn’t be at the hands of a pack of walkers like that.  I think Rick has laughed and smiled more in the last three episodes than he has during the last seven seasons.  Then there’s Rosita.  who I really liked for a while, but now she’s just being stupid.  It’s like she wants to be Carol, but she’s just being driven by emotion and anger, and that usually gets somebody killed.  It nearly got Carl killed, but this time, I don’t think Rosita is going to get some spaghetti if things don’t work out.  I’m surprised that Sasha is being just as dumb about the whole plan to take down Negan as she is.  They both failed to realize that her foolishness is actually what got Eugene captured.

Finally, it’s going to be a three hour episode of The Bachelor tonight.  I’d like to thank Corrine for making this season worth watching, prior to her departure last week.  I think it’s safe to say Nick is an idiot for getting rid of her.  Hope he has fun renewing his passport and living in Canada, or squashing all those roaches in Houston, or rolling in the mud in Arkansas, as opposed to living in Miami.  It was very fitting though that Corrine took a nap right after her big statement in the limo when she was leaving.  Apparently dismissing her was Nick’s way of thanking her for buying him a pair of $800 sweatpants.  You’ve gotta feel bad for Raven’s ex-boyfriend.  She’s putting the dude on blast for cheating on him, and then never giving her an orgasm.  That guy might never get another woman.  There’s nothing worse than seeing a guy cry in a turtleneck.  I feel like after that episode we need to call him “TurtleNick”.  The only smart thing Nick has said this entire season is that ironing your clothes is way more effective than steaming them.