Category Archives: Morning Coffee

Monday Morning Coffee

June 10, 2019

I know what you’re thinking. The Lakers can assemble the best trade package for Anthony Davis, and should be able to trade for him. It’s not going to happen folks. Even though the Celtics are out and the Lakers have better assets than the Knicks and Clippers, the Pelicans are going to make the Lakers pay a “Laker tax” in order to complete a trade. Even if Rob Pelinka is willing to put every single young player into a trade, which he probably would do to save his job, Jeanie Buss but won’t let him. She’s been sticking her nose into every basketball decision these days, along with the inept friends she’s been relying on. This situation won’t be any different, and it’s going to cost the Lakers another star they could have traded for, for the 3rd straight summer. In the meantime, the Lakers are building an excellent staff of replacements for Frank Vogel. The latest hiring is Lionel Hollins. Something tells me we’re going to see a lot of finger pointing this season.

Warriors fans haven’t been this upset since Mitch Richmond left the team. Just kidding. No Warriors fans even know who Mitch Richmond is. Like I said, the only thing that can derail the Warriors are injuries, and that’s exactly what is going to derail them. Kawhi is a beast. He and Kevin Durant are total weirdos though. Kawhi could win the title and decide to leave. Durant could lose the title and also leave, because some 13-year-old on Twitter thinks he sucks. However, the way things are going, free agency is probably going to be a bust. KD, Kawhi, Klay, and Butler all end up staying, Kyrie goes to Brooklyn, and we got excited for nothing. As for Golden State, stay positive Warrior fans. You still have the Raiders for another year.

Mark Stevens was not just an idiot fan who got drunk and pushed Kyle Lowry when he fell into the stands last week. He’s a part owner of the Warriors, which makes him all those things, plus an entitled moron. Then it all made sense: he’s on the Board of Directors at USC.

All these sports writers are wondering if it’s too early to celebrate the Dodgers’ success. I’m wondering if it’s too early to blame the front office for failing in the 2019 postseason. The Dodgers have the best record in baseball, just like they did around this time two years ago. In 2017, it didn’t matter because they lost in 7 games in the World Series. In 2018, their slow start didn’t matter because they made the postseason, then lost in the World Series. All I know is, this movie has the same cast of characters in it for the 3rd year in a row, so why should I expect the ending to be any different? A good regular season team, strong pitching, solid offense, and a bullpen that’s more volatile than the Dow Jones. If you can’t fix the pen, you can’t change the ending to the movie. Until that happens, we should be skeptical.

Matt Harvey began a AAA rehab assignment for the Angels over the weekend. He gave up 8 runs, so it looks to me like he’s healthy enough to keep getting destroyed in the Majors. Harvey probably lowered his ERA too after giving up 8 runs. Seriously though, how long are the Halos going to keep trotting out Harvey and Trevor Cahill to the mound? The less we see from those two guys, the more we’ll see from promising young pitchers like Canning and Suarez. Those pitchers can’t fare any worse than the two bums the Angels think are their #1 and #2 starters. Dallas Keuchel on a one year deal sounded a lot better than either one of those two guys, but too late for that now.

Now that OTA’s have started, Todd Gurley sounds like the oldest 24-year-old in history. At this rate, he’s going to be retired by the time the season starts in September. With Gurley not participating in OTA’s, it’s time to officially be concerned about the arthritis in his knee. Without question, the Todd Gurley we saw sporadically in the playoffs is the Todd Gurley were going to see in this upcoming season. The Rams have to preserve him. Too bad they didn’t realize that before paying him $45 mill guaranteed. Suddenly, Darrell Henderson seems like a critical piece to develop at the running back position, or else the Rams offense might not be so dynamic anymore. This is where we find out if Sean McVay is really a “McGenius”, or just a football coach with a hot foreign girlfriend.

Finally, another episode of The Bachelorette went down last week on ABC, and it’s back again tonight. Not only is Luke P a liar, manipulative, and a poor sport … but he’s 5’6. Can we all take a minute to be concerned about Rhode Island’s health care? I mean did Kevin go to a civil war hospital when he got his arm wrapped up? They should just change the name of this season to the “The Battle Of The Luke’s”. This whole Jaylen Brown and Hannah discussion was beyond awkward, because in reality you know they just wanted to go to the Fantasy Suite to get it on. Honestly, this season is so bad, if they turned the Bachelorette into a show where she went out on 30 dog dates, handing out dog bones at the end of each date, and eventually picking the dog of her dreams, people would be way more interested. This coming from someone who isn’t really a dog person either.

Monday Morning Coffee

June 3, 2019

Imagine playing a drinking game where you had to take a shot for every time the Lakers organization humiliated themselves over the last 6 months. You would definitely be dead by now. I wouldn’t blame Lebron James if he felt like playing that game at this point. The man has been recruiting like crazy, but there’s no chance the Lakers will end up with KD, Kawhi, Klay, or even Kyrie or Jimmy Butler. At this point Rob Lowe has a better chance of getting his phone call returned by another NBA GM than Rob Pelinka. Plus unlike Pelinka, Lowe wouldn’t need to be “fact-checked” more than Donald Trump. Maybe when this summers train wreck is finally over, the franchise will come to their senses and make some real change for the better. Or Maybe that’s just wishful thinking as well.

The NBA’s tampering rules are ridiculous. Don’t get me wrong, it would have been totally hypocritical for the league to not fine Doc Rivers for his comments about Kawhi Leonard on ESPN earlier this week after Magic Johnson got fined for saying things even less eye opening about players under contract. However, what’s the real harm behind talking about players under contract? Everybody and their mother already knows the Clippers are recruiting Kawhi Leonard. Why do Doc Rivers comments have any bearing on this? It’s silly, and just another rule to protect these cry baby small market owners. As for Doc’s comments themselves, only he would say something as ridiculous as comparing Leonard to Michael Jordan. He sounds like another idiot fan boy on Twitter that’s been watching the NBA for five minutes but why would you expect any less? I guess that’s what recruiting means these days.

The Raptors blew a massive opportunity yesterday against the Warriors and are doomed after losing home court advantage. If you can’t beat the Warriors without KD, without Klay, and with Steph suffering from the flu, it’s not going to happen. I’m pretty sure Marc Gasol and Pascal Siakam aren’t going to combine for 52 points in a game again in this series. If the Lakers earned as many free throws as were shot last night they would have lost by 20. If it wasn’t for State Farm, the Rockets would never be seen in the Finals. Ramona Shelburne is probably going to think she’s god’s gift to sports journalism after President Obama told her she does a great job last night. I’m surprised Drake wasn’t rubbing Obama’s shoulders before the night was over. If the Raptors win more games, Donald Trump will probably impose additional tariff tax on Canada.

To baseball, where I’ve gotta give Andrew Friedman credit for this. He knows his free agent signings are garbage, which might explain why he operates like a cheapskate every winter. This season is another perfect example with Joe Kelly and AJ Pollock getting paid over $20 million combined this year, yet they’ve both done about as much as you and I have to contribute to the Dodgers’ success. They should replace Joe Kelly Bobblehead night with Joe Kelly Voodoo Doll night. It’s great that the Dodgers are at the top of the MLB standings, but this team as always, will be judged by how they fare come October. They’ll need to fix their bullpen if they plan on succeeding then. Isn’t that what Friedman is supposed to be good at? We’re still waiting for him to figure it out 5 years later.

The Angels wish they could play the Mariners every weekend, after treating them like a pinata for the last three days. I haven’t seen Albert Pujols look that good since he was in St. Louis. Still, the sad part about the Angels is that not only are they not winning much in general, but they aren’t even creating buzz in town. I mean if they aren’t going to win, at least have somebody go to Mastros or Javier’s in Newport and start a bar fight over some gold digger. People will show up if you win. But the only thing that’s worse than losing is being boring. The Halos are both right now, and not even Mike Trout can solve that problem by himself.

The silliest thing I’ve heard in the last week was from NFL Insider Mike Florio, who suggested that Jared Goff might not get a 2nd contract from the Rams. Really? Goff is still on his rookie deal and helped the Rams get to the Super Bowl last year. Are we talking about the same guy? You people do realize that it is possible that Goff can and will improve as a quarterback right? As long as the Rams continue to protect him with a good o-line, there’s no reason Goff can’t continue to grow as a Quarterback and make big throws, which he’s already shown he can do. Goff is actually the least of concerns for the Rams, and instead it’s Todd Gurley and his knee. His knee makes me more nervous than Antonio Cromartie would be on Mothers Day.

Finally, another episode of The Bachelorette went down last week on ABC and it’s back again tonight. I’m thinking John Paul Jones has never watched The Bachelorette before, has no idea what’s going on and is just here for the free food and drinks. Just a hunch but I’m thinking Cam’s previous relationships weren’t ruined by amputation, giving a dog away, or his grandma being sick. More likely that he’s a stage 5 clinger, creepy, maybe even a serial killer. I feel like ABC needs to throw me a pity rose and pay for my cable for the next month to make up for how awful this season has been so far. As if this season hasn’t been bad enough, now I have to endure watching a couple of Boston Celtics on the show as well, and seeing Hannah wear a Celtics jersey. I always knew this girl was no good .

Monday Morning Coffee

May 27, 2019

Happy Memorial Day Everyone! This is your weekly reminder that the Lakers’ ownership and front office are still acting like complete idiots and it’s only getting worse by the day. If Magic Johnson loves the Lakers so much, why won’t he shut up and stop talking to the media? He’s doing more damage every time he speaks, but apparently he’s too self-centered and lacks the self-awareness to realize that. I’m not sure why we think Rob Pelinka is capable of pulling off anything this summer since no GM or agent will take his call. Perhaps he can try email? Magic already confirmed our worst fears about him and the entire organization. Then there’s Jeanie Buss, who clearly skipped the first day of business school class at USC where they recommend you don’t stick to business with family and friends. This July is going to be such and disaster and as upset as we’re all going to be watching it, we’re all going to be there when these senseless buffoons get what they deserve. Maybe that will finally humble them enough to get them to look in the mirror and see what they’ve let this become.

I still think Kevin Durant is a lunatic for even considering leaving a historically great team like the Warriors. Who cares what people think? If he wins there his legacy will be great. Nevertheless, you have to give the Clippers credit for suddenly looking competent enough to look like a real contender for his services this summer. I don’t really think this is going to happen, and the narrative is a little bit over the top, but the fact that this is a real discussion just shows you how far the perception of the Clippers has come in a very short period of time. If a Durant or Kawhi Leonard signing were to happen, or even both, it would also further serve the Lakers right for the foolishness of their leadership.

The NBA Finals matchup is set! The Warriors will be taking on the Raptors beginning Thursday. Even though Kawhi Leonard is everything Jon Snow should have been, this series is going to be over faster than Hillary Clinton’s last Presidential campaign. It doesn’t matter if Kevin Durant and DeMarcus Cousins play or not. This shouldn’t take more than five games. Kawhi can’t guard everyone. I don’t care how many massages Drake is going to provide in this series, it’s a foregone conclusion. However, I feel like Drake is going to get so much air time in this series, I’m not going to want to see him for the next year. He’s been acting like an AAU coach.

To baseball where the Dodgers probably wish they could play the Pirates every game. They swept them over the weekend, and are 6-0 against them this season. The starting pitching has been on fire, sporting the best ERA in the National League, and the 2nd best in baseball. Interestingly enough, it feels like the LA’s been letting their starters pitch a little longer than the usual hook after the fifth inning. Perhaps that’s because Andrew Friedman’s computer is in the middle of a software upgrade, but nevertheless, their bullpen will be a lot more effective and well rested in the long run by doing that.

Then there’s the Angels, who’s starting pitching has been a pile of garbage. It’s no wonder that Matt Harvey has a back strain. He probably injured it looking back at all those home runs he’s been giving up. The players were also complaining that they had to play 20 straight days in a row. With the way they’ve been playing, their fans are complaining too. After taking two of three against the Rangers, the Angels best hope on the mound is Griffin Canning, or for a weather delay. The odds of winning the Power Ball are higher than Andrew Heaney and Tyler Skaggs staying healthy for a full season. There’s only two teams in baseball with starters that collectively have a worse ERA than the Angels. The division is already lost and it’s starting to feel like the Wild Card is insurmountable. Typical Angels baseball.

The Stanley Cup Final starts tonight! Raise your hand if you predicted Blues vs Bruins. If you’re raising your hand you’re a big fat liar. It just goes to show you that as long as you make the playoffs in the NHL, anything can happen. The Kings reminded us of that back in 2012 when they won the Cup as the 8th seed. However, that parity also means it’s hard to sustain success for very long and stay in contention. In any case, whoever wins it’s going to be an enjoyable Cup Final just knowing that the San Jose Sharks will be sitting on their couches at home watching as well.

Finally, the Bachelorette is back on ABC tonight. While I’m slowly losing interest in this season due to the dull personalities, I did learn a few things in the last episode. Mostly notably Kevin and Cam. I don’t care how mad you get, you never ever…waste chicken nuggets. Luke P says “you can trust me”. That’s like trusting Rob Pelinka to run your basketball franchise.
If all the biggest douche bags from The Bachelor franchise got together and had sex, Luke P would be born. Most people probably stopped watching the show after seeing Cam get a rose anyway. With every episode that goes by, I find Hannah getting not only more dull, but even a tad more obnoxious. We’ll see how much longer this lasts.

Monday Morning Coffee

May 20, 2019

Relax I’ll get to Thrones. But first, the Lakers received what I like to call “Idiot Welfare” from the NBA last week. You can’t get any luckier than they did, although I guess it’s not luck when the lottery is rigged. However, just when you find out they get the 4th pick and have another great asset, we learned that Gayle Benson will not allow Anthony Davis to be traded to the Lakers “over her dead body”, and that the Lakers doubled down on dumb by leaking that they will not be hiring a new President of Basketball Operations. Magic Johnson went on First Take this morning putting the Lakers on blast, further validating this dysfunction. In other words, you still get the feeling that there is “imminent doom” on the horizon, despite the fact so many great players are available this summer. Sure the Lakers have the assets and the roster flexibility to put together a trio of stars like Lebron-Anthony Davis-Kawhi Leonard. However, it would take smart leadership to actually get that done, which the Lakers clearly don’t have anymore.

It’s hilarious how rigged the NBA lottery has become. It’s no wonder they don’t allow anybody to actually see the ping pong balls drawn. It’s because they don’t actually mean anything. I’m sure it was completely lottery luck that when the Cavaliers lost Lebron James, then ended up with the #1 pick in 2011. Or when the Hornets lost Chris Paul and ended up with the #1 pick in 2012. Or when the Timberwolves lost Kevin Love and ended up with the #1 pick in 2015. Or now that the Pelicans are about to lose AD, they get the #1 pick. At this point if you think it isn’t rigged, then you probably bought a ticket to Fyre Fest and believe every word that comes out of Skip Bayless’ mouth.

The Dodgers took care of business against the Reds over the weekend, getting to see their old friend Yasiel Puig again. I’m not sure why Puig is surprised he was traded for cash considerations. Ownership shipped 70% of its fan base off for cash considerations when they made their current TV deal with Spectrum. Tough situation for the Dodgers when it comes to Julio Urias. Andrew Friedman is probably trying to figure out why his computer can’t come up with an answer on what to do with Urias, who is currently on leave after being arrested last week on suspicion of domestic battery. I’m reserving judgement here until the TMZ video comes out, but these situations are usually pretty damning. If Urias is guilty, he should be punished accordingly, regardless of his talent and what he means to the Dodgers. There is never any excuse for this, but especially in the era we are living in, there is absolutely no excuse for this.

Man the Angels starting pitching is garbage. Trevor Cahill stinks, and Matt Harvey looks is a disaster. I’m beginning to realize they call Harvey “two face” because one day he looks halfway decent and the next start he looks a bigger waste of money than that pile of cash the Joker burned. The real pitchers the Angels need to carry them are Shohei Ohtani, who won’t pitch this year, and Griffin Canning, who is solid but still very young. At this point I think it’s safe to kiss the division goodbye already, but the Halos need to do what they can to stay in the Wild Card race. After the draft, they should be all over Dallas Keuchel on a one year deal, so they don’t give up compensation. I’m sure Keuchel is waiting for his food stamps to come in the mail since he won’t accept a one-year $17 million salary.

Not exactly a riveting first episode of The Bachelorette last week with Hannah starting to send guys home. I know there’s already outrage when she just sent home Matt McDonald, the farmer with two deaf parents. Most of the dudes this season sound like frat guys who are on their 8th beer. Apparently Hannah is into that. Then again John Paul Jones looks like a dude who got a lacrosse scholarship to Yale because his dad was a Sigma Chi legacy that donated $5 million dollars to build a library. If you’re an airline pilot and you’re going on The Bachlorette you need to wear your uniform. Rookie move. Same goes for Luke who didn’t give up his jacket when Hannah was cold. The only thing the world knew about Alabama before last week was “Roll Tide”. Skeptical on this season but we’ll see where it goes.

Finally, let’s get to the series final of Game of Thrones last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. You complainers are so dramatic, pretending like you just wasted 8 years of your life because the ending didn’t go your way. This was one of the best television series of all-time people. I found it devastatingly sad that Daeny was killed, let alone killed by Jon after losing her mind like that. I suppose it had to be done. We cheered for her for 8 years to end up on the throne, and then in a matter of 1.5 episodes it all turned. However, if you thought you were going to get a happy ending with Jon on the throne then you simply don’t get the show. For most of the show it was the bad guys winning, and a lot of you hated it when all the Starks died at the Red Wedding. The Starks came out on top, for the most part, and many of you are still complaining. Jon’s decision was a sacrifice that led to the greater good.I admit that seeing Bran on the throne was like seeing the kid who got an A even though he didn’t do anything during the group project. I’m sad the show is over, I’m sad Daeny ended up turning evil and dying, but the show was amazing. That’s what amazing shows do. They pull you in, make you think they can’t kill certain people or do certain things, then they do to provide you with shock value. If you don’t like it, then go back to watching trash reality TV.

Monday Morning Coffee

May 13, 2019

If you’re a Laker fan you should be livid. Jeanie Buss seems determined to not only embarrass the franchise a little more everyday, but also set women back in sports another 20 years. Her latest debacle is relying on the “front office expertise” of Phil Jackson and Kurt Rambis, and deciding to hire Frank Vogel as coach. If Jeanie is taking basketball operations advice from those two, she’s probably also using Bernie Madoff as her financial advisor. I like how Jason Kidd’s history of domestic violence does not make him a worthy head coaching hire, but a perfectly acceptable lead assistant. Nice logic Jeanie. This is only going to get worse and when the Lakers fail in free agency, Lebron is going to demand a trade. In the meantime, Lebron is probably having Nike design him some special sneakers to walk all over Vogel, who is just an average coach for what is turning into a below average franchise.

Some of you have the memory of a five year old. The Golden State Warriors lost Kevin Durant for a couple of games and you suddenly thought that made them a lottery team. Yes, Charles Barkley, I’m talking to you. Nobody seems to remember that the core of this team won 73 games three years ago, and also won an NBA Championship. Meanwhile, the Rockets are looking for a receipt on that Chris Paul purchase. Kyrie Irving is already playing like he’s on the Knicks. The Blazers celebrated yesterday’s game 7 win until they realized they have to play the Warriors. Kawhi Leonard is a beast, and I think his buzzer-beater yesterday keeps him in Toronto next season.

To baseball where the Dodgers have the best record in the National League, but not even the dudes that bought tickets to Fyre Fest wouldn’t believe they are good enough to win the World Series. Matt Kemp is available and before you shut the idea down, he’d actually be a great asset. The Dodgers still stink against left-handed pitching and Kemp can help that, especially with AJ Pollock out with an elbow injury. Kemp was not only an All-Star last year, but even when people wrote him off for his decline in the 2nd half, he was still very productive when he wasn’t playing everyday. That’s because he loves being a Dodger, and that additional productivity won’t come from him playing anywhere else. Meanwhile, Hyun-Jin Ryu is doing his best Sandy Koufax impersonation. For all the talk about Clayton Kershaw and Walker Beuhler, Ryu is easily the Dodgers’ best pitcher at the moment. If only Kenley Jansen would start impersonating himself again things would be even better.

Then there’s the Angels. Things have gotten a little better on the field for the Halos, getting healthier, swinging the bats, and winning 4 of their last 6. However, they really need the Astros to move to the Japanese league, because the Halos are 6.5 games back in the AL West. To make matters worse, the top two starters, Matt Harvey and Trevor Cahill, are both sporting ERA’s over 6. I’ve seen better pitching from Lavar Ball in business meetings. If the Angels ever want to get serious about winning again they’ll need to actually develop this part of their farm system, but that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen anytime soon.

It’s May. We’re past the NFL draft. We’re past the majority of free agency, but Ndamukong Suh is still unsigned. The Rams need to re-visit getting him back on the roster. It’s clear nobody is going to pay him the $14 million he made last year, and you can never have enough good defensive lineman. Suh finally got away from the dirty play we’ve seen throughout his career last season, and played very well in the playoffs. If not, sooner than later they could end up lining up against him in the NFC Championship game vs the Saints. After all, nobody can say no to those beignets.

I don’t know if I can do it guys. This may be the season of The Bachelorette I can’t stomach. Hannah Brown? I’ve stared at a pile of paint chips that were more interesting than her. Something tells me it won’t matter though. People will watch, listen to podcasts on it, complain bitterly from the start of the season to the end, then watch it again next season.

I know I’m really late to the party on this, but I finally got around to watching the “Leaving Neverland” documentary on HBO over the weekend. This was four brutal hours of television. I found myself interested, yet very queasy listening to the horrific detail of what Michael Jackson did to these men when they were young boys. I’d like to think that could not happen as easily today, with parents far more aware of child abductions, molestation, and even sex trafficking. However, even with a celebrity such as Michael Jackson, or any adult, when in the hell would it actually be appropriate for a parent to allow their child to sleep in the same bed as them? One thing is for sure. You’ll never think of Michael Jackson the same way after watching it.

Finally, a huge episode of Game of Thrones went down on HBO last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Imagine what Daeny would have done if she still had 3 dragons? This is what happens when you can’t bang your nephew. Innocent people die. At least Varys died doing what he loved: snitching. Had you known this episode was coming a couple of seasons ago, you probably would have screamed for joy. However, Daeny’s ruthless destroying of Kings Landing left me unsatisfied, and even feeling sympathy for a lot of people. I even felt sympathy for Cersei and Jamie, and even though they died together, the death was unsatisfying since it was just a ceiling that collapsed on them. It was great we got to see the Mountain vs The Hound, but Arya’s story wasn’t very well put together. It was coming together once she killed the Night King, but after she decided to call off her revenge tour, stumbling around Kings Landing was a senseless look. It was a good episode, but I can’t help but feel they are rushing the ending. At least we didn’t see any Starbucks cups or airplanes. I’m looking forward to the ending, and think we’re in for another curve ball next week.

Monday Morning Coffee

May 6, 2019

It’s cute that the Lakers are dragging their feet on this whole coaching search when they are just going to give the job to Tyronn Lue in the next couple of days. I like how they are pretending like they are going through some real process when they really aren’t. There’s no process when you don’t hire a President of Basketball Operations after yours quits on TV before he actually tells you. Even dumber is this rumor that the Lakers are operating with some sort of “shadow boss” advising them, who will be taking over the team soon. This has to be a leak from the Lakers to make it seem like Jeanie Buss knows what she’s doing. However, even if this rumor were true, the so called “shadow boss” must be advising Jeanie to look like an idiot and not even interview for President of Basketball Operations.

I admit there’s been some amazing 2nd round games to watch in the NBA Playoffs, but let’s be honest, you’re just fooling yourself if you think Golden State isn’t going to win another title this year. It took overtime, two blown layups from Steph, and James Harden going crazy just for the Rockets to win a game. Harden apparently thinks he’s fouled on every play. Meanwhile, the Nuggets and Blazers took so long to finish game 3, the winner should have been rewarded with taking game 4 off. The most riveting thing about the 76ers and Raptors is that whoever loses is likely to lose their star free agents. Despite yesterday’s win, it’s also a good bet these days for Canada to end up losing at anything, so look for that to happen in the next few days. Marcus Smart was upgraded to questionable for the Celtics, but their playoff chances have been downgraded to “doubtful” vs the Bucks.

I’m sure the Padres wish Manny Machado would play against the Dodgers every game. Machado was hitting a mere .240 going into the series against his former team over the weekend, before going off against them with a couple of homers. I guess $300 million doesn’t buy what it used to. I’d pay $300 million just to get somebody other than Andrew Friedman to run the Dodgers. In typical Dodger fashion, they are in 1st place with their “prized” free agent acquisition, AJ Pollock out indefinitely, and Joe Kelly’s velocity disappearing like Lebron James’ hairline. The Dodgers are once again benefiting from a weak division, and a bunch of dudes that Friedman had no part in actually acquiring for the most part. It doesn’t matter how much money you give Friedman to spend, he’ll find a way to spend it in the most inefficient ways.

Then there’s the Angels, who went all the way to Mexico to get bombed by the Astros over the weekend. At least if Trump builds that wall, it will prevent Trevor Cahill, Peter Bourjos, Kole Calhoun, and all these other scrubs from coming back to Anaheim. Halos Skipper Brad Ausmus says “environmental factors played into it”, when consdering that Cahill has given up 12 home runs. Actually, I’m pretty sure whatever environment you play in, half the team still plays like scrubs. I’ve been hearing a lot about an improving Angels’ farm system, but I have yet to see anything promising yet. There’s not much to be excited for this season, other than the fact you know Mike Trout isn’t going anywhere.

What a shocker at the Kentucky Derby on Saturday! Maximum Security crossed the finished line 1st, but was disqualified for impeding other horses. Country House, a 64-1 long shot, was declared the winner. On the bright side for Maximum Security, he won’t have to go to the White House and eat crappy fast food. I’m surprised he wasn’t disqualified for fouling James Harden on a 3-point shot, since you can even do that by breathing on him.

In College Football, an interesting comment was made by Reggie Bush last week regarding Urban Meyer that caught the attention of Trojan fans. Bush said that he and Matt Leinart are going to be actively recruiting Meyer to be the Trojans next coach when they all work together on Fox Television’s College Football broadcast in the fall. That comment just goes to show you what alums and former USC players think of Clay Helton. It’s like being married and openly pursuing other women. Even funnier was Urban Meyer’s response, which was that he thinks he’s done, and he’s enjoying what he’s doing now. That’s hilarious because he hasn’t even started doing whatever he’s doing because he just retired. Urban Meyer is a bigger liar than any politician out there. I guess that makes him a perfect culture fit for USC one day. However, the Trojans certainly won’t suck anymore with him as their coach.

Finally, another intense episode of Game of Thrones went down last night on HBO and it had a shocking ending. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Ugh how could you be so stupid Daeny? This episode just had the feel of many other episodes throughout the entire series of feeling like imminent doom was coming to our favorite characters. Sansa only said to wait on battling Cersei, but Daeny lost a dragon, a whole bunch of her fleet, while Missandei was captured and killed. Also, how did she and her two Dragons miss Euron Greyjoy’s fleet from that high above? Get your head in the game! Euron Greyjoy is like the 99 cent store version of Jack Sparrow. I wanted Cersei and Daeny to throw hands. Instead, they had their Hands talk it out. Not exactly what I had in mind. I like how how Ned Stark kept a secret about Jon Snow for 20 years, and 20 seconds after finding out, Sansa is announcing it like breaking Fox News. Jamie flip flips allegiances more than Drake. This is going to end with a decision from Jamie on what to do with Cersei. You know she’s not going to go down easy. She never does. It’s going to be a spectacular and edge of your seat final two episodes.

Monday Morning Coffee

April 29, 2019

You didn’t really think we’d go another week without another embarrassing story coming from the Lakers did you? The latest is requesting that Ty Lue or Monty Williams add Kurt Rambis to their staff as an Associate Coach if they are hired. If that’s their attitude, imagine how limited they will be trying to find a President of Basketball Operations when they insist that Rob Pelinka will remain in the front office. I’m not sure how long Jeanie will continue this ridiculous friends and family approach, but it’s getting annoying. Plus, the real irony in all this is that her most qualified friends and family, Ryan West and Jesse Buss, are actually not involved enough in front office decisions. It doesn’t matter whether the coach is Lue or Williams, the problems are much bigger than that. However, if Lue is hired, with Lebron stepping all over him, it won’t be the first time he’s been stepped all over at Staples Center.

The Clippers impressive season came to an end on Friday after losing to the Warriors. Look, I will give the Clips their due. They play hard, they have likable players you can get behind, two good young players, and they have finally stabilized the organization. However, let’s pump the brakes on a couple of things. The idea that the Clippers are a great free agent destination is a false narrative. Why is Kawhi Leonard the only free agent we’ve linked to them? Besides, if Kawhi stays in Toronto, is there actually a plan B? Plan B might not even put this team back in the playoffs. Also, for those of you who suggest the Clippers are going to take the town from the Lakers, the Clips have been better than the Lakers for six years, yet they aren’t even close to making it a “Clipper Town”.

To baseball, where I’m not sure what’s gotten into the NL West, but everybody is suddenly winning, including the 1st place Dodgers. I think it’s fair to say that the best pitcher on the Dodgers is still Clayton Kershaw, despite peoples hopes and dreams that Walker Buehler and Julio Urias were ready for prime time. Kershaw and Kenley Jansen are still great, but not what they once were. That being the case, since the Dodgers are so reliant on their bullpen, I have no idea why they won’t add more reinforcements to their pen like Craig Kimbrel. He’s only a 7 time all-star, and at this point would probably accept an inflated one year deal. Andrew Friedman has shown about as much interest as I have in dating Rosie O’Donnell. The pitching is good, but probably not good enough to win a World Series. That’s not good enough.

At some point, the Angels are going to get some reinforcements back in their lineup like Shohei Ohtani, Justin Upton, and Jo Adell. However, at that point they will be trying to climb out of a hole that is bigger than the Grand Canyon, since they are already in last place and 6 games out of 1st place. That also won’t fix their pitching. The Angels have decided to play copy cat and using the “opener strategy” several teams around the league have been adopting. However, by letting a reliever open the game, then letting your “starter” pitch a few innings, that seems like nothing more than patchwork for a team with a crummy rotation. It also seems like a sure way to exhaust your bullpen over the course of 162 games. The strategy worked for the Rays last season, but they also had a great bullpen. The Halos don’t. Billy Eppler was clearly that kid in school that just looked at everyone else’s paper to pass his exams.

The NFL Draft was highlighted by some great laughs provided by the Cardinals, Raiders, and Giants. The Cardinals gave up on the 10th pick in the draft after one season, traded him for a 5’10 receiver, and replaced him with a 5’10 quarterback who might be playing professional baseball in a few years. Josh Rosen will get good laughs watching Ryan Fitzpatrick throw interceptions in South Beach next year. The Raiders used the #4 pick on a guy who was rated #32 by Mel Kiper, and drafted two other players who weren’t even projected to be 1st rounders. Gruden probably picked Colin Ferrell because he thought he was related to Will Ferrell. Then the Giants, drafted a QB at #6 who they could have gotten at least 10 picks later. They had as many 1st round picks as they will have wins next year.

Meanwhile, the Rams had a pretty good draft by all accounts, trading down to acquire more assets several times. It was also hard not to notice the three separate trades they made with the Patriots, who just defeated them in the Super Bowl. Note to all you super insecure and incompetent NFL executives: not everybody is afraid to trade with Bill Belichick. Some executives like Les Snead actually have confidence in what they are doing. More than anything though, the Rams actually picking a running back as early as they did makes me question the health of Todd Gurley even more.

Finally, an amazing episode of Game of Thrones went down on HBO last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. That was a highly intense and stressful 90 minutes of television. All things considered though, we didn’t really lose any characters that devastated you, but seeing the Night King die was absolutely shocking, and even more shocking at the hands of Arya. That kill was like a Damian Lillard walk-off 37-foot game winner. Jon Snow and Daeny were fairly useless in this episode. Not sure what Daeny was doing the whole time not spitting fire on the the entire Army of The Dead when they broke into the castle. Jon might “know nothing”, but he also did nothing in this episode as far as killing the Night King. It was all Arya. Not sure what the Army of The Dead was doing while Arya snuck up and “Bruce Lee’d” the Night King. I still think before it’s over we’ll lose a Stark or two, and maybe even Daeny. Nevertheless, the last three episodes are going to be epic! Tremendous writing.

Monday Morning Coffee

April 22, 2019

The Lakers have definitely hit rock bottom. Rob Pelinka is now taking potential coaching candidates like Ty Lue to the Cheesecake Factory during coaching interviews. I might feel slightly better about Pelinka’s judgement if he had ordered the avocado egg rolls, but even so, there’s about 1,000 better restaurants in Newport Beach to take a coaching candidate to. In all seriousness though, this is just a small sample size of the stupidity going on with the Lakers. The idea of hiring a coach before hiring a President makes no sense. Then again, the idea of taking basketball advice from Linda Rambis is equally puzzling. I always criticized Jim Buss for not maximizing the resources available to him, but now it’s fair to say that Jeanie is just as guilty of that.

Look guys, it was a cute story for a little but the Clippers will be done playing basketball this season on Wednesday. I do find it pretty comical that some of you folks thought that that one bad quarter from the Warriors suddenly meant the Clippers might actually beat them in a seven game series. The Warriors are like a Lion that is playing with its food before devouring it. That couldn’t have been any more evident from Kevin Durant’s attitude toward Patrick Beverley before dropping 38 points on him in game 3, and pulling away at the end of yesterday’s game. Give the Clips credit for playing hard, I’m sure it was a fun ride for them, I’m just not sure it was worth it considering they lost their 1st round pick. I guess this summer will determine that. Here’s a look at Danilo Gallinari’s shooting in yesterday’s game.

I sure wish everyday was Joc Pederson’s birthday. In typical “all or nothing” Joc fashion, he blasted a pair of home runs, helping the Dodgers take 3 of 4 from the Brewers. The real story is Cody Bellinger though who is doing it all. He made a game saving catch and hit the go-ahead home run in yesterday’s win. I’m not sure why everybody keeps making a big deal out of Clayton Kershaw’s drop in velocity. Greg Maddux was one of the greatest pitchers of all-time, and he never overpowered hitters. Kershaw has looked great in his first two starts, and as long as he continues to change speeds effectively, there’s no reason he can’t still be an elite starting pitcher. On the other hand, what isn’t elite is the Dodgers’ slogan “LA Bleeds Blue”. I think there’s been enough bleeding from the Dodgers and their fans the last few postseasons at Chavez Ravine. No more bleeding you marketing geniuses! Here’s a look at Bellinger making an early case for MVP.

Speaking of bleeding, the Angels are just hemorrhaging losses in the early going, despite yesterday’s win. Even Magic Johnson’s Twitter account would be able to tell you that it’s hard to win baseball games when half your lineup is hitting under .230, and 3 of your 5 starting pitchers are hurt. Brad Ausmus is also looking more and more like Billy Eppler’s puppet, just reading off in-game instructions from the spreadsheet he’s handed. This couldn’t be more obvious with the continuous pulling of his starting pitchers before 5 complete innings. Hey nerd boys….I love analytics, but if you overuse your bullpen, it no longer becomes a strength.

UCLA may have lucked out with the hiring of Mick Cronin, but the embarrassment for the athletic department isn’t stopping. The latest debacle is Tennessee Head Coach Rick Barnes claiming that had UCLA paid for his buyout, he would be their head coach by now. If nothing else, this entire exercise has done nothing to end the public perception that the Bruin basketball program is still cheap, and not willing to pay for top coaching talent. Plus, how disappointed is the UCLA fan base going to be if Billy Donovan gets fired by the OKC Thunder in the next week or two? I know I’ll be a little disappointed.

Since the Super Bowl ended, it’s felt like the Rams have put Todd Gurley in a witness protection program, preventing him from talking about his knee injury. However, he finally spoke about it, but didn’t reassure anybody that he’ll be ok long-term. Gurley indicated that he’s feeling great “right now” but doesn’t know how he’ll feel six months from now. That’s not exactly making me feel great about the fact the Rams just signed him to a long-term contract. It’s also not making me feel great about the Rams’ chances of winning a Super Bowl since he’s such a focal point of their success. While all this is going on, Sean McVay is being more evasive about Gurley’s status than someone trying to ghost you on a dating site. That’s not good at all, but the one nice piece of news for the Rams is they just learned they’ll have one of the easiest schedules in the league next year.

The concept of 4/20 is very symbolic for the LA Kings. Their General Manager, Rob Blake wore #4, and their President of Hockey ops, Luc Robitaille wore #20. Considering the moves they have been made in the last two years, it seems fair to say both these two have smoking a lot of weed. The latest is the unimaginative and uninspiring coaching hire of Todd McClellan. This is the same coach that blew a 3-0 series lead to the Kings in 2014. When I watch the NHL playoffs it’s also become very clear that the Kings demise have nothing to do with their style, considering all the upsets in the postseason that have occurred. Their demise has everything to do with an aging roster and a farm system devoid of elite talent. Robitaille and Blake have been in complete denial about this fact.

Finally, episode 2 of the final season of Game of Thrones went down last night on HBO. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if that is the case. I think it’s safe to say that Arya just added to her “body count”. Everyone is preparing to fight while Arya and Gendry were preparing to get freaky with each other. That was one sex scene I did not need to see before the show ended. I guess Winter was not the only thing that came last night. Frankly, that whole thing distracted you from the fact that Tormund sucked on giant boobs for three months to become as strong as he is. That was basically all we accomplished in one more hour, as well as Jon trying to explain to Daeny that he is the rightful heir to the Iron Throne. It felt like this episode was used as nothing more than to make us feel good before our favorite characters get slaughtered next week. There’s no way we make it through next week without losing at least a couple of people we really like. Can’t say I’m looking forward to that part of it. However, at least the last four episodes will be nearly 90 minutes each.

Monday Morning Coffee

April 15, 2019

Remember when I said the optics on the Lakers were worse than they are? Nope, things are actually worse than the optics. Magic Johnson is a complete embarrassment. Now we know that they call him Magic because he disappeared on the job like Houdini. He quit like he was working at Walmart for a couple of weeks. This man beat HIV, but when things got a little rough he quit, and it came at the 11th hour of a plan that was 2 years in the making, which included sacrificing promising young talent. Meanwhile, Rob Pelinka is the exact equivalent of Littlefinger on Game of Thrones. You can’t trust him and he’s doing everything to gain more power. However, this is all on Jeanie Buss, who has nobody left to blame but herself. Now she’s looking even worse by not doing the sensible thing and hiring a President to clean house and build the organization the right way. This whole thing could be turned around in five minutes, but instead we’re in for more years of dysfunction.

Meanwhile, that was a cute little effort by the Clippers in game 1 against the Warriors. This team can start booking their flights to Cancun because they’ll be done playing basketball this season in just a couple of days. On the bright side for the players, Steve Ballmer probably rewarded them with Microsoft Office Suite upgrades. Congrats to Ralph Lawler though on a fantastic career. The man who has spent the last 40 years as the Clippers’ play-by-play man is easily the best thing to ever happen to the franchise.

To College Hoops where UCLA finally ended weeks of embarrassment and hired Mick Cronin as their new basketball coach. To his credit, Cronin already seems very likeable, and you can be sure his team’s are going to play very hard nosed defense. However, the spotlight should be on just how bad of a job Dan Guerrero has done with both the Football and Basketball program, and the embarrassment continued during last week’s press conference introducing Cronin. Guerrero said there was never going to be a consensus among fans about anything. That’s just silly because every UCLA fan knows he’s doing a terrible job. Too bad the Chancellor can’t see this because he’s already working on an extension with him. If only Guerrero would be one to pay the price for some of the “cash-for-admission” scandal. The University would only be so lucky.

Looks like things are going exactly according to plan for the Dodgers. Beat up on all the crummy teams in the NL West, and then pretend like you can hang against the rest of the NL. That’s exactly how it has looked after getting dismantled by the Cardinals and Brewers in the past week. I’m sure if you ask Andrew “Small Market” Friedman, or Stan “I won 14 Division Titles but only 1 World Series” Kasten, they won’t be worried at all. With Clayton Kershaw coming back tonight, the Dodgers better hope he looks like an ace, because their entire pitching staff has been beaten like a drum lately.

Meanwhile, Mike Trout needs to get back in the lineup fast to keep the Angels from being eliminated from the postseason just a few weeks into the season. Imagine how much easier this would be if half the Halos’ lineup weren’t hitting like they were swinging blindfolded at a Pinata. Most of these guys aren’t even hitting above the Mendoza Line. This feels like it’s going to be a very long season.

We’ve been waiting about a decade, but now we can finally say it. Tiger is back! He finally won another major. It was wonderful to see. Golf needed it badly. As talented as many of the PGA’s up and comers are, none of them are must watch like Tiger. It was greatness on display yesterday, and that’s why we watch sports. Also, for the guy that wants to dislike Tiger because he cheated on his wife, you probably need to stop watching sports if you can’t separate the performance from the person. I have come to grips with this concept. For example, Kevin Durant the basketball player is a bitch. However, Kevin Durant the person is also a bitch.

Finally, the final season of Game of Thrones premiered last night on HBO. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. That dragon waking up reminded me of what I look like trying to wake up for work on Monday morning. Not sure who would win a staring contest between Bran and that dragon since neither blink. You may not have put it together, but Bran said he was “waiting for an old friend” and knew that it was Jamie. I think that dragon also recognized who the true King was the moment Jon rode him. Jon was doing some serious incest math when he found out that he was the true King. It’s great to have the show back, but I’m shocked that it was only 1 hour, and that not that much happened. I expected some rapid plot development, and I sure hope it will pick up next week, as it did last season.

Monday Morning Coffee

April 8, 2019

It turns out the South Bay Lakers are a lot more interested in winning games than the Los Angeles Lakers. Alex Caruso, who looks like a high school math teacher, is on fire. It will be great when Lebron gets healthy because Caruso can finally get the help he needs to win a title. In all seriousness though, I’m getting really sick of the fake and manufactured stories the media is coming up with on this team. They didn’t make the playoffs because of injuries, and to a lesser extent roster construction. Not because the front office was “misaligned”, not because “they don’t develop players well”, or because of some “instability”. This is exactly what the “reporting” of Adrian Wojnarowki, Chris Mannix, and others have become. It’s probably also because other insecure GM’s around the league with an inferiority complex are perpetuating this fake narrative.

Speaking of ESPN and their fake news, I feel bad for Paul Pierce, who was torn apart by the internet over the weekend. Pierce said he’s had a better career than Dwyane Wade when asked about it during ESPN’s NBA coverage. The idea that Pierce had a better career, or even that he’s a better player is preposterous. Wade is an 8-time All-NBA player and two time All-Defense Player, compared to Pierce’s 4-time All-NBA appearances. Wade also has three championships compared to Pierce’s one. However, he was asked a question by his colleagues and he gave them the answer the network wanted. He shouldn’t really be roasted the way he was, and on top of that, this tweet by Gabrielle Union, Wade’s wife, was totally unnecessary and misinformed. The internet is simply feeding the trolls.

This @paulpierce34 thing is wrong on many obvious levels but what I find most troublesome is this idea of a man trying to diminish another man that looks like him, was raised like him, in order to shine a tad brighter. Shit isnt entertaining, it’s sad. ❤ & 💡good people.— Gabrielle Union (@itsgabrielleu) April 6, 2019

To College Basketball where the UCLA Basketball search is reaching new levels of embarrassment. The Bruins are like that guy walking around the bar writing his phone number on a napkin and giving it to every girl in hopes that one will call him. The Bruins went from talking to John Calipari and offering him $8 million a year, to suddenly chasing Jamie Dixon and Rick Barnes? It feels like there are a lot of candidates in between a Calipari, and Dixon or Barnes that would be much better than the latter two. Why am I not surprised this is going badly with Dan Guerrero leading the search? Maybe next time he talks to a good candidate like Calipari, he’ll be smart enough to offer him more than he’s actually making in his current gig. I thought the Bruins luckily dodged a bullet by not agreeing with Dixon, but the program and their fans probably won’t be as lucky when it comes to Barnes.

When Duke got eliminated from the Final Four, all you haters loved it but look what we were left with. A bunch of garbage we had no interest in. Had it not been for that Auburn fan that poured a beer on his head and got kicked out, or the woman in the bar that acted like Auburn won before fouling on the three-point shot, there wouldn’t have been many highlights from the two games to watch. This is exactly the problem with one-and-done. It can’t go away soon enough and is ruining the NBA and College Basketball.

The Dodgers are on fire! Right now it feels like the only thing that can stop them are Andrew Friedman and his analytics. Friedman is probably the Dodgers biggest rival considering how bad the rest of the NL West is. Cody Bellinger looks amazing and is playing like an MVP in the early going. I just hope he can play this well in October. I sure hope Joe Kelly can too, because he’s been awful so far. I guess it doesn’t matter who he plays for. Kelly’s best work always seems to come against the Dodgers.

I sure hope that Mike Trout is planning on being the entire Angels offense. He’s hit homers in four straight games, while the rest of the lineup couldn’t hit water if they fell out of a boat. The pitching hasn’t exactly been all that sharp either. I now see why they call Matt Harvey “the Dark Knight”, since he got beat up like Batman when Bane broke his back. Feels like this team is going to be eliminated from the postseason before the month is over.

Finally, for months all I heard from people is that the American Football Alliance was going to take off and be very viable during the NFL offseason. Here we are just a few months later and the league is announcing it’s folding. I’ve seen Kardashian relationships last longer than this league did. I’m really not sure why anybody thought this league would be viable. The NFL is already suffering from over-saturation by force feeding us Thursday Night Football, along with Sunday and Monday Night Football. Not to mention the fact that even people that live in crummy cities with crummy weather have lives too, outside of watching football. It’s only a matter of time before the XFL runs into a cash problem too.