Author Archives: omzzzzz

Monday Morning Coffee

September 23, 2019

The Rams are 3-0 and they haven’t even played that well. Their defense is legit. Goff and their receivers are making plays, but Todd Gurley is being preserved until it’s prime time. Sean McVay’s in-game adjustments are next level, and continue to keep this team winning. Goff wasn’t amazing last night, but he played much better than his often “road Goff” performances. I’m sure that won’t sit well with some of you since he has enough money to buy the city of Cleveland at this point, but for a guy who is 24 years old, he’s already growing and will continue to get better. I don’t care what the Cowboys, Packers, and 49ers look like. The Rams are still the best team in the NFC.

The Chargers are capable of beating any team in the NFL. Actually, the only team that seems to beat them consistently is themselves, as well as the 2nd half. That was exactly what happened yesterday when they coughed up a 17-7 lead in the 2nd half to fall to 1-2. Philip Rivers was running for his life all day, and the Chargers inexperienced secondary was lit on fire by Deshaun Watson. These types of losses are going to kill the Bolts come playoff time. If you had a dollar for every time the Chargers choked in the 2nd half, you’d be rich enough to build them a stadium. Sounds like they are going to need that after it’s now being reported they aren’t pulling their weight in ticket sales for the new stadium, and the Rams would love to remove them from the equation. Looks like the Rams and Chargers are developing a rivalry, it’s just between the owners.

Elsewhere around week 3 in the NFL, Antonio Brown is the first player in league history to have his jersey from three different teams on clearance racks at the same time. Somebody get this man a therapist and some meds. Antonio Cromartie has more kids than the Dolphins have points this season. Patrick Mahomes and Lamar Jackson is being advertised as the next “Brady vs Manning.” They are pretty entertaining, except Tom Brady is still in the league and tearing it up. Eli Manning isn’t coming back off the bench anytime soon. Apparently the Saints are still really good without Drew Brees, while the Steelers are still bad without Big Ben.

This weekend was a reminder of just how messed up USC football is. They defeated a top 10 team in Utah with their 3rd string quarterback, and then the next day they lost their commitment from Mater Dei Quarterback Bryce Young, who decided he will attend Alabama next year. The fact USC is able to beat a top 10 team, and even be in the same discussion with recruits that Alabama is getting goes to show you just how bad the coaching is. If USC hired a coach who had some idea how to recruit, develop talent, and ran a more modern offensive scheme, they could be as elite as they like to think of themselves. However, for those of you wanting to hire Urban Meyer, you apparently forgot that USC is actually a University and not an NFL team. Also, this moment on Saturday night is so typical of the NCAA. It’s like they radioed in to the ref to break up the Reggie Bush celebration.

I have no idea what happened in Pullman on Saturday night. Chip Kelly managed to turn the clock back for exactly 1.5 quarters. Somehow the Bruins managed to erase a 32-point deficit and find the win column for the first time this year. I’m going to chalk this up to an isolated incident for now. The Bruins gave up 720 yards of total offense and allowed a starting QB to throw 9 TD passes against them. Chip Kelly can’t coach football anymore. He says he’s trying to learn the personnel, and that “it’s a consistency thing.” Yes Chip your teams consistently suck at all levels over the last half decade, and considering you chased off 30-scholarship players from the Jim Mora era, it’s not going to get any better anytime soon. UCLA needs to pray this guy quits.

The best news that UCLA got last week though was that Dan Guerrero is finally going to retire. Before making too much fun of Guerrero’s futility as an AD, I do wish him a speedy recovery from his battle with cancer, and thankfully things seem to be under control. With that being said though, Guerrero’s true failures are letting the basketball program free fall in reputation since Ben Howland left the program. With rumors that Fresno State AD Terry Tumey is a front-runner for the job, or possibly Villanova AD Mark Jackson if he doesn’t go to USC, hopefully one of these dudes won’t be spending their time slamming donuts like Gurrero, and turn around both the basketball and football programs in Westwood.

Notre Dame put up a good fight against Georgia on Saturday night. Unfortunately, they won’t get as much credit for hanging tough as Georgia will when they get blown out by Alabama. Look, the Manti Teo girlfriend jokes were funny back in 2012, but not so much anymore. However, the College Game Day signs were pretty funny….

I can’t believe some of you actually think this is the Dodger team that is going to win the World Series for the first time in 31 years. Let me remind you that the Dodgers once had Clayton Kershaw and Kenley Jansen in their prime, and at the top of their game. They couldn’t win it when they had those two, and a crummy bullpen. Now Kershaw and Jansen are in decline, and they have the same crummy bullpen. You really expect them to compete with the likes of the Yankees, Astros, let alone come out of the NL with much more formidable opponents? If that’s the case then you probably believe in unicorns and the tooth fairy as well.

Finally, I just can’t do it anymore. I have to pull the plug on Fear The Walking Dead. I tried. However, the show is way too confusing with it’s timeline jumps, it’s killed off all the interesting characters, and unless it can tie to the actual Walking Dead show in some way, then it’s doomed to fail. This also explains why the ratings are sinking faster than the Titanic. It’s gotten so bad they don’t even air “Talking Dead” after the show to discuss it. Heck, if The Walking Dead doesn’t get their act together soon, I might pull the plug on that one too. Sad because at one point it was one of the better shows on television.

Monday Morning Coffee

September 16, 2019

The Rams handled business yesterday against the Saints. It wasn’t much of a fair fight given that Drew Brees left early with an injury, but their defense was phenomenal. Assuming that Brees is going to be ok though, I sure hope these teams get to meet again in the NFC Championship game this season. However, are we really going to have to hear more whining from Saints fans about getting screwed again on another call? I’m sure New Orleans is going to be upset. Gayle Benson will probably call the NBA office and demand more from the Lakers in the Anthony Davis trade out of spite, and demand an investigation by the FBI on the officiating. Look, yesterday was a bad call. Jared Goff really fumbled. The playoff game they got screwed too. However, the Saints offense did nothing yesterday, so I don’t want to hear any crying about the officials. Get over it and move on. Besides, the refs looked completely competent before the game…

What a typical Charger game that was. It’s like they are breeding their kickers to suck. Regardless of all the injuries, they should have won that game. Can Philip Rivers stick any of his kids on the offensive line or at defensive back? Better yet, can any of them kick a field goal? He only has 27 to choose from. It’s clear the Chargers don’t miss Melvin Gordon because Austin Ekeler is in beast mode. However, they clearly are still untrustworthy in close games, especially with their kicking issues. Only the Chargers could play in a soccer stadium, yet have some of the worst kickers in the world. Tom Telesco should be spending the next couple of weeks scouting every MLS team in the country to see if he can find somebody halfway decent to do the job.

Elsewhere around Week 2 in the NFL, the Dolphins are so bad, Roger Goodell has called the ACC in attempts to trade them for Clemson. The Jaguars lost to the Texans, but Gardner Minshew definitely looks like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite, and acts like him too by stretching in the locker room with only his jock strap on. Do NFL GM’s still think Lamar Jackson is a running back? If so, that type of logic makes them qualified to be the next AD at USC (more on that in a moment). Dak Prescott looks amazing and his bank account will be too very soon. The Vikings lost to the Packers, and if Kirk Cousins isn’t arrested for stealing money from Minnesota, then white privilege really does exist. I was going to bag on Cam Newton for laying an egg on Thursday, but the guy looks so physically beat up, wouldn’t be surprised if he pulls an Andrew Luck and retires.

To College Football where USC’s stay in the Top 25 was about as short as Peter Dinklage. The Trojans made BYU’s season by losing to them in OT on Saturday night. The ginger-ale was really flowing in Provo after that one. In typical Clay Helton fashion, USC had no offensive rhythm, their offensive line was pushed around, and their tackling was worse than a Pee Wee football team. I guess Kedon Slovis might not be the next Sam Darnold after all. The Trojans could easily have a losing record after the next 3 games against ranked opponents. It also looks as though President Carol Folt is planning a huge overhaul of the program after dismissing Lynn Swann (I mean after he “resigned”). Swann can continue doing what he’s always been doing, which is playing golf. Folt appointed Dave Roberts as the interim AD, and passing up Senior Associate AD Steve Lopes. Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if OJ Simpson ends up as the next Athletic Director knowing this schools ethics.

Meanwhile, UCLA is a total disaster. They were murdered by Oklahoma at the Rose Bowl on Saturday, in a game that was made even more embarrassing by the fact 60% of the stands were filled with Sooner fans. Chip Kelly is making Jim Mora Jr. look like Bill Belichick. There is absolutely nothing going right with this program. The Bruins need to pray that Kelly just gets so sick of losing that he quits. Hard to imagine with him swimming in money, but stranger things have happened. Not only can the man not recruit, it’s crystal clear that his system is more outdated than a VCR. Prepare for some major irrelevance for a while Bruin fans.

Let’s talk some hoops. The Celtics not only lost to France, but they finished 7th in the World Championship tournament. No not Team USA, the Celtics. We sent 4 Boston Celtic players. You think if we sent 4 Los Angeles Lakers we would have finished 7th? I don’t want to hear the media try to tell me how great this young Celtics core is again. The same Celtics core that was supposedly “head and shoulders” better than any other trade package for Anthony Davis. These guys should be deported to Siberia for embarrassing our country.

The Dodgers clinched the division earlier in the week, but the playoff competition looks absolutely miserable to go up against. Facing the Nationals with Scherzer, Strasburg, and Corbin? No thanks. Going up against the Cubs? Have you seen how the Dodgers are giving up home runs of late? The Cardinals? Nightmares from the past forever. The Braves? Not the same jokers they beat up on in the past. I haven’t even gotten to how awful it would be playing the Astros or Yankees. I also don’t care what Dave Roberts says: home field advantage if vital for the Dodgers. in 54 League Championship and World Series since 2001, teams with home field advantage win the series 60% of the time. The Dodgers are also 36 games above .500 at home, and only 8 games aboive .500 on the road. So don’t tell me it’s not “win at all cost” important Dave Roberts. No matter what the spreadsheet is telling you.

At least the Angels have figured out this whole tanking thing. They’ve lost 6 of their last 7, and they are shutting down players left and right for the rest of the season. I guess elbow injuries are played out with this team, so they are starting a new trend with lower body injuries. Mike Trout, Justin Upton, and Shoehei Ohtani have all been shutdown in the last week with injuries to their lower extremities. I’m not even sure having $34 million to spend this off-season can make up a 30 game difference between the Angels and the Astros. At least Mike Trout is a good bet to win the MVP.

Monday Morning Coffee

September 9, 2019

Breaking news: the Rams are still really good. In the 1st half, their offense looked they were playing the 5th quarter of the Super last year, yet they still managed to hold off the Carolina Panthers on the road. The defense is legit, even after losing Eric Weddle to a head laceration yesterday. Weddle looked like Negan took him out back with Lucille, but hopefully he’ll be back in action next week. A sign of a good team is one that wins when it isn’t at it’s best. The Rams were far from it and they took care of business. There’s still a lot of concerns about Todd Gurley and his overall durability, but he showed up in the 4th quarter. Also the new $134 million man, Jared Goff, should continue to improve and keep the Rams in elite company.

Then there’s the Chargers, who shockingly didn’t start their season with their traditional disappointing loss. You remember the Chargers right? That other football team in LA with 5 or 6 fans? They managed to defeat a diminished Colts team yesterday, after Austin Ekeler did his best Barry Sanders impression. I’m pretty sure the Bolts don’t miss Melvin Gordon right now. However, this team is missing too many key guys to have a real chance to be a Super Bowl contender. Gordon, Russell Okung, and Derwin James are all out of the lineup with injuries or contract disputes, which is going to hurt in the long run. After seeing Zeke’s record breaking contract, and Ekeler go crazy yesterday, the Chargers have offered Melvin Gordon a year’s pass to Disneyland. In a competitive AFC, that may be enough to prevent them from returning to the postseason. Then again, I’m not sure it matters with KC and New England head and shoulders above everyone else.

Elsewhere around Week 1, Someone needs to teach Khalil Mack to play quarterback, because Mitch Trubisky is still trash. Hell of a start by both New York football teams. You can give the Browns a promising rookie QB, OBJ, and some cool uniforms, and they still suck. Patrick Mahomes is still a human video game. Antonio Brown should change his name to “Antonio Clown”. Still, the Patriots dismantled the Steelers without AB, and it’s not even going to be fair when he suits up for them next week. “Knock on wood if you’re with me.” Jameis Winston was so bad, the 49ers are going to make him their starting quarterback. The Dolphins made Lamar Jackson look like Dan Marino. The Colts gave $29 million to Jacoby Brissett and Brian Hoyer. Jim Irsay is clearly drinking again.

To College Football where the Trojans are 2-0. That means that Clay Helton and Lynn Swann should be receiving a 15 year extension this week right? Kedon Slovis suddenly looks like the 2nd coming of Sam Darnold, except that might not be what the Trojan faithful wants to hear. If Slovis is that good, this is like owning a Ferrari but not knowing how to drive it. Stanford had to play with their backup QB, and simply did not look that good. The 2-0 start feels a lot more about the questionable competition than how good USC really is. Only time will tell, but after BYU, the schedule gets rough: Utah, Washington, and Notre Dame. The last thing USC needs is for Clay Helton and Lynn Swann to stick around, so most Trojan fans should be in favor of tanking like an NBA team.

It’s a shame that the Rose Bowl doesn’t sell alcohol anymore. UCLA fans really need it to get through the season. This team looks more and more embarrassing every time they play. UCLA should never lose to San Diego State, even if they were coached by Helen Keller. Somehow, Chip Kelly managed to pull it off. This man is being paid millions to drive a football program into the ground. I don’t know what’s worse: the incredibly mediocre talent that has been recruited, or the disaster on the field itself. I guess $23 million doesn’t buy what it used to.

I love how Notre Dame beats Louisville by 18 points and they are “overrated”. Meanwhile, Michigan barely hangs on against Army, and it’s just “an off-day for a solid football team”. Then there’s Tennessee’s embarrassing loss to BYU. The SEC should announce that effective immediately it will no longer be acknowledging Tennessee’s presence and that it will be claiming Clemson as the 14th member of the conference. It’s a close call between the Dolphins and Florida State as to who exactly the worst football team in the state is, but FSU seemed determined here….

We’re approaching the start of training camp in the NHL, and that means the Kings are about to get going. By going, I mean going straight down the toilet. The Kings supposedly had a great draft, and some are claiming they have a Top 5 farm system. Sorry but it’s a little difficult to get excited about a farm system that is about 3 years away from competing in the NHL. When your team is comprised of Anze Kopitar, Drew Doughty, and Jonathan Quick, you expect to compete for Stanley Cups. There were actually several solid bargain free agents out there that could even help the Kings now, without compromising this so called bright future. However, apparently the Kings would rather give these roster spots to mediocre young players than compete for a playoff spot. It’s a sad state of affairs for this once elite hockey club.

Finally, I’ve decided I’m going to lay off the Dodgers this week. They’ve been beaten up pretty good lately, and will probably get beaten up pretty good come October the way their pitching has been bleeding runs, and their hitters have disappeared like Houdini. Oh wait, I said I was going to lay off. So much for that. Not only is home field advantage throughout the playoffs in jeopardy, they might not even have home field advantage in the NL playoffs. Just because this late season futility is predictable, doesn’t make it any less frustrating.

Monday Morning Coffee

September 2, 2019

What a brutal start to the season for the Trojans. They lose JT Daniels to a knee injury, and had it not been for a couple of miraculous special teams plays, they would have lost to Fresno State. The offense looked just as unimaginative as it did last year. The two scoring drives USC put together in the first quarter are what a program like that is supposed to do against Fresno State. None of that happened after Daniels went down. However, the QB competition the last few weeks has been close, the expectations shouldn’t change for Helton. After seeing this team play just one game this season, I think it’s fair to say the Coliseum isn’t the only thing that needs to be rebuilt. Speaking of that new Scholarship Tower, USC continues to embarrass itself by sticking pictures of OJ Simpson everywhere. I guess USC is ok celebrating a murderer considering their football team has been getting murdered as well. Even the fans are struggling too.

Meanwhile, things didn’t look great for UCLA in their first game against Cincinnati either. Chip Kelly looks like a dude who is getting paid living on what he did 10 years ago. Dorian Thompson-Robinson completed 30% of his passes! 30%!!! Imagine how bad UCLA’s backup QB’s are when they can’t beat out a guy who is completing 30% of his passes. Chip Kelly had the 8th best recruiting class in the Pac-12. I realize that he often finds undervalued talent, but that just seems unacceptable. The Bearcats aren’t a bad team, but I don’t see things getting a whole lot better this season for UCLA Football.

Elsewhere around College Football, Tennessee and Florida State both can’t figure out who embarrassed themselves more in Week 1. In typical SEC fashion, they both scheduled cup cakes and lost in shocking fashion. Alabama and Clemson cruised to easy victories, and I have no idea why we are all wasting our time. Just get us to another championship game with these two teams since they are head and shoulders better than everybody else. This is really the signal that the Tennessee coaches came up with?

As usual, everybody made a huge deal over nothing with Kobe and Shaq last week. If you actually listened to Kobe’s entire interview, he was extremely complimentary of Shaq, talking about how amazing of a player he was. Of course most journalists that cover the NBA have the memory of a 5-year-old, and only focused on the fact Kobe called him lazy. Kobe didn’t say anything that you don’t already know about Shaq, or that he hasn’t told Shaq, or that Shaq himself doesn’t already know. Kobe was great. Shaq was great. They were great together. They could have been even greater. What never gets old though is when Shaq finds a way to rip Dwight Howard in the process!

I can’t believe some of you still wonder why I criticize the Dodgers like I do. They look like hot garbage at the moment, and extremely vulnerable come postseason time. Clayton Kershaw and Hyun-Jin Ryu need a freaking bye week, Max Muncy and Dustin May are injured, the rest of the team stopped hitting, and worst of all, Kenley Jansen is hemorrhaging runs. Are you really telling me that in one month from now he’s going to look like the $80 million closer we expect him to be? The Dodgers would be wise to spend the next four weeks looking for a reliable replacement for Jansen, or else more October futility is on the way.

As for the Angels, the news just keeps getting worse on and off the field. The results of the Tyler Skaggs autopsy revealed there was alcohol and opioids in his system. That means we might be in for a long and expensive lawsuit between the Halos and the Skaggs family. I’m not going to pretend like I’ve experienced losing a child, or been through a situation like the Skaggs family is going through. However, unless there is some weird foul play we don’t know about here, Tyler is responsible for what he put in his own body. That shouldn’t be pinned on someone else just to preserve reputation, character, or legacy. This season can’t end soon enough for the Angels and their fans.

Finally, the Melvin Gordon situation is escalating. The Chargers are actually granting Gordon permission to find a trade partner. That’s like allowing your girlfriend to go seek a new relationship when you know she’s put on some pounds, and not looking her finest. Even though Melvin Gordon is not out of shape, he’s a running back. That means teams don’t like tying up money in them, unless they are elite. Gordon is very good, but not Ezekiel Elliott or Todd Gurley. No team is going to pay him $14 million, as well as give up a 1st round pick or two for him. I also like how immediately after the Chargers granted him permission, Houston and Kansas City all locked up cheaper running backs. Whatever market there was for Gordon has already shrunk. Now we’re already hearing rumors that Melvin Gordon is expected to end his holdout within the next week, as the Chargers are only offering him his original $5 million salary. Should have just taken the $10 mill you were being offered!

Monday Morning Coffee

August 26, 2019

Dwight Howard has officially signed with the Lakers.  Since his contract isn’t guaranteed, I’m sure he will just rent a room at Bruce Jenner’s house for the time being.  This man actually had to beg and convince every player on the team that he has changed.  I guess they figure the last 6 teams he’s ruined we’re isolated incidents.  Either that or Anthony Davis really hates playing center.  Sure if he buys into this role he could be impactful, but I wouldn’t trust this dude to order lunch for me.  Buying into his role is something Dwight has never done.  This guy was a disgrace the last time he was a Laker, and should be cut after the first lame joke he makes in the locker room that nobody laughs at.

To the NFL where the Rams have announced they have added a new Casa Mexico Sky Deck to the Coliseum, where fans can enjoy watching the game.  The deck is sponsored by Casa Mexico Tequila, which makes sense because the Rams offense played like it had a Tequila hangover in Super Bowl.  I sure hope Todd Gurley is going to be durable enough this year to make the offense look like it did for most of last season.  He’s the difference.  As for Sean McVay, everyone is still looking for “the next Sean McVay” to be their head coach.  However, it would probably be a lot easier to just not play your starters in any preseason game like McVay does.  That goes for Bill O’Brien in Houston, who played Lamar Miller over the weekend, resulting in a season-ending ACL injury.

In baseball, the Dodgers went at it with Yankees over the weekend at the Ravine.  I’m not sure if anybody has actually told Andrew Friedman and Stan Kasten this, but the Dodgers don’t get to play the D’Backs or Rockies in the playoffs, or even the World Series if they are fortunate enough to get that far.  I’m having my doubts they are aware, because anytime the Dodgers play the likes of the Astros, Yankees, or other AL powerhouse teams, they look extremely exposed, if not over-matched at times.  Friday night was a classic example of that when the Yankees crushed homer after homer.  Then despite winning Saturday, Kenley Jansen continues to look like a batting practice pitcher.  It’s only getting worse by the outing, and this man is going to cost the Dodgers in the playoffs.  It’s inevitable.  Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be another replacement in the pen for him. Oh, and then they got crushed again yesterday against the Bronx Bombers, once again, in those silly pajamas they call uniforms.  This is going to be another terrible ending to a movie we’ve already seen a few times in October.

Angels GM Billy Eppler must think he’s playing poker and not running a baseball team.  The Angels have 3 five’s and a pair of threes, which would be a full house in poker.  However in the MLB, that means you have a bag of garbage and won’t win much.  The Halos need pitching, and they need to figure out why all their pitchers keep getting elbow injuries.  The latest is Griffin Canning, who is getting shut down for the season.  Knowing the Angels’ luck, we should expect him to get Tommy Johns next season.  Can’t blame this one on Mike Scioscia guys.  Time to find a new scapegoat.

Team USA Basketball actually lost a game  over the weekend to Australia.  It may have been an exhibition, but now Trump is probably going to build a wall around the Great Barrier Reef to prevent the Aussies from coming to the US.  In all seriousness though, the rest of the world has gotten so much better at basketball, we can’t even send the “B-Team” anymore and win.  For all of you that want to go back to sending college kids to the Olympics for basketball, we wouldn’t stand a chance.  Heck, most of these other international squads have multiple NBA players on them anyway, which would give college kids no chance to win anything.  Then again, I guess some of you just don’t like winning.

The College Football preseason polls are out and you would have an easier time trying to find a needle in a stack of needles than trying to find USC.  There are five Pac-12 teams in the Top 25 and none of them are USC.  Interestingly enough, the Trojans were picked to finish 2nd by the media in the Pac-12 South, yet the National Media doesn’t even consider them one of the 25 best teams in the country.  That tells you everything you need to know about what the media thinks of their coaching.   USC actually received exactly 1 vote from a media member in the AP Poll under “others receiving votes”.  Whoever that is must have been drinking with a couple of the fraternity houses when voting.  I also like how new Offensive Coordinator Graham Harrell says backup freshman QB, Kedon Slovis, is as good a talent as he’s ever seen.   Well if he’s that good then why isn’t he starting over JT Daniels? Sounds like more coaching disaster at USC.

Andrew Luck abruptly retired over the weekend, shocking the football world.  I guess he should have checked with all of you people on Twitter before doing so, because you obviously didn’t take the news too well.  Look, it’s sad we never got to see him have a long career, but the man has a right to do what he wants, so leave him alone.   In the case of you Fantasy Football idiots that are complaining, if any of you actually did your homework you would know that drafting him or any Colts player was risky, given the injury news surrounding him the last few weeks.  Then there’s Doug Gottlieb, who basically thinks that he’s quitting, and is soft because he’s “a millennial”.  Well gee Doug, stealing your roommate’s credit card, and bitching about Millennials is the most “Gen X thing” ever.

Finally, OJ Simpson actually drafted Andrew Luck in his fantasy football league, and as usual, he got roasted for bitching about it. It’s only fitting that Andrew Luck’s retirement murdered OJ Simpson’s fantasy football team, since he murdered his ex-wife and her boyfriend. I guess you won’t be able to slaughter the competition now OJ. Looks like he really stabbed you in the back OJ. Ok, I’m done now. However, it absolutely amazes me that there is somebody out there that wanted OJ Simpson in their fantasy football league.

Monday Morning Coffee

August 19, 2019

I feel terrible for DeMarcus Cousins. He was working his tail off to get back to being an elite NBA player, and now he gets another devastating injury. I thought this was much worse for him and his career, than for the Lakers. That was until I found out that the Lakers have interest in Dwight Howard as a replacement, and Dwight Howard has interest in the Lakers. I now have interest in throwing up in a paper bag. Dwight is probably the biggest douche bag in Laker history, and has become one of the most unlikable players in the NBA. You don’t need to read Jock Talk LA to find this out, you can just go ask other NBA players, who dislike him as well. At one point he was an elite big man in an era where the traditional big man was becoming extinct, but that was 10 years ago. In a season where everyone needs to get along so Anthony Davis will re-sign, the last thing you want is some locker room cancer like Dwight. I’d rather have someone like Joakim Noah for the same price, similar production, and less risk.

Meanwhile, the Clippers started selling single game tickets this week, and lost their minds when it came to pricing. They set ticket prices for all the Laker games at above the secondary market. “That’s A Bold Strategy Cotton”, but a stupid one. If the goal is to get more Clipper fans into the building when they host the Lakers, then this is a massive fail. Clipper fans have always appreciated the fact their ticket prices are more affordable than the Lakers, especially with the “Hollywood crowd” they attract. Now it’s going to be tough for all 6 Clipper fans to afford to attend any of the home games against the Lakers.

To baseball where the Dodgers are still trying to sort out the mess that is their bullpen. It’s gotten so bad that Kenley Jansen is even losing his grip on the closer role. While Jansen isn’t being replaced, Dave Roberts is saying that his work load will be lightened significantly leading up to October. That’s also code for “let’s see if anybody else is capable of doing the job when it matters.” Their best hope is that the Dustin May bullpen experiment is a success, and that Julio Urias stops beating women and starts beating opposing hitters when he returns in September. That May experiment is definitely off to a bad start. May gave up a Grand Slam in relief yesterday. I also still can’t figure out why Andrew Friedman is obsessed with Joc Pederson. He has some pop, but he has a low OBP, low batting average, doesn’t steal bases, couldn’t play first base, yet he’s still leading off time and time again. There must be a bug in Friedman’s computer software.

Then there’s the Angels, whose problems are really bigger than pitching. As long as the Halos are saddled with the Albert Pujols and Justin Upton contracts for the next couple of seasons, Mike Trout might as well be sitting on the couch in October watching the playoffs with you and I. Billy Eppler might be rebuilding the farm system, but he’s constantly forced to bring up minor leaguers who aren’t ready, and either get injured or get their confidence shattered. When you combine all that with the atrocious pitching, its hard to have any faith that things are going to turn around anytime soon for the Angels.

We are rapidly approaching College Football season, but that might also mean several Trojans are approaching the end of their jobs. Has anyone seen USC’s schedule? They might win one of their first five games if they’re lucky. Then again, that might actually make them lucky because Clay Helton would be fired by then, and Lynn Swann would be gone by Thanksgiving. This season feels like a disaster just waiting to happen, but in the eyes of most USC fans, it probably needs to happen to turn things around. At least the first two games against Fresno State and Stanford are at night so that only a portion of the country will be awake to witness their embarrassing play.

As for UCLA Football, the schedule is even more brutal than the Trojans’. The Bruins could be a better team than last year, and easily be 1-5 to start the season. Games against Oklahoma, Cincinnati, and Washington State are almost guaranteed losses. Frankly, just beating a crummy USC team once again might feel like a monumental accomplishment for the Bruins. Then again, I’m not sure if this will sit all that well with the athletic department that is burning millions of dollars on Chip Kelly to lose a lot of football games every year. Kelly finally has the speedy team he is so accustomed to, but it remains to be see if he actually does anything with it this year. Last year his offense looked nothing like what we saw at Oregon, which isn’t exactly what Bruins fans hoped for.

Finally, there is very little to take away from the Rams preseason games. However, if there’s one thing I think we can safely conclude, it’s that Blake Bortles is still a very mediocre quarterback. If Jared Goff actually goes down with an injury, I hope Todd Gurley or Cooper Kupp can play QB. This man actually makes one believe that it is possible that you could play quarterback in the NFL. As much of a genius as Sean McVay is, I’m not sure he can help this guy make some of the throws that he misses. Let’s just hope the Rams can stay health this year.

Monday Morning Coffee

August 12, 2019

It’s that time of year where NBA fans have nothing to do but complain and yell at each other about arguments nobody can ever win. This time it’s about Kobe. NBA.COM just named their 3 all-decade teams of the 2010’s, and Kobe was on the 3rd team. Hopefully the writers at are ok with having their houses burned to the ground, because this is typically the behavior of die hard Kobe fans when they find out about news like this. To be fair to Kobe fans though, they have a point. Kobe made 7 All-Star teams and 4 All-NBA teams in a decade where he didn’t actually play for half of it. Meanwhile, Carmelo Anthony and Anthony Davis made just 3 All-NBA teams in the prime of their careers. Those two should be relegated to the 3rd team. More than anything though, just looking at the selections on all three teams makes me realize how amazing the NBA was in both the 2000’s and the 1990’s. Too bad most fans and media members have the memory of a 5-year-old and can’t recall this.

Imagine if people in their industries lobbied to make sure one couldn’t apply their crafts with some silly rule about needing a degree. That’s exactly what the NCAA is doing, preventing agents, specifically Rich Paul, from signing underclassmen who want to keep their options open of returning to school. I’m all for higher education, even getting a Masters Degree, but you know who doesn’t have a degree? Steve Jobs, Peter Jennings, Ellen DeGenerous, and a number of other highly successful people. It shouldn’t be a requirement, and especially not for Rich Paul, who is very good at what it does. My favorite part about all this is that the organization that is notorious for exploiting kids is just making a stupid rule under the disguise of “preventing exploitation”. They should really be focused on trying to stop making themselves look like one of the most corrupt organizations on the planet.

Magic Johnson is at it again. This dude can’t go 5 minutes without running his mouth. He just said a couple of weeks ago to Stephen A Smith that he was done talking and that the focus is now going to be on the the Lakers on the floor. Sure enough, he sat down with CBS Sports’ Jim Hill for a 30-minute interview over the weekend, and continued alluding to Rob Pelinka backstabbing him, while also reminding everybody of his great basketball and business career. This felt extremely orchestrated by Magic, given that he knows how critical everybody has been of him lately. I’m getting extremely sick of him and his massive ego, which probably cost the Lakers the free agent signing of Kawhi Leonard.

Speaking of Kawhi, the media including the LA Times is tripping over themselves complementing how great of an organization the Clippers are now. The latest absurd article over the weekend talked about how Doc Rivers experience in Orlando building a “super team” with Tracy McGrady and Grant Hill helped him get to this point in recruiting Kawhi. I must not have been there for when that “super team” was around. I also enjoyed the narrative that the Clippers “Lob City” team couldn’t succeed in the playoffs because of the rise of the Golden State Warriors. Funny, because I always thought it was because they couldn’t get past the Memphis Grizzlies in the 1st round, or because the choked away a 3-1 series lead against the Rockets. LA basketball fans aren’t this naive, but apparently the LA Times writers are.

To baseball where the Dodgers are winning, but they find themselves in a serious battle for the best record in baseball with the Yankees and Astros. To their credit, their kids are playing amazingly well. Will Smith is suddenly giving the Dodgers an elite offensive catcher behind the plate, and every night it feels like there’s another prospect making an impact. Unfortunately, that’s the only way they are going to succeed in October, with their kids taking on more roles, especially in that pile of crap Andrew Friedman calls a bullpen. Friedman said last week that the Dodgers have a chance to win a championship because they have elite starting pitching, an elite lineup, and “a bullpen that has a chance to be above average.” Is this dude serious? I guess whenever he needs a surgery done he must look for the surgeon that is “just above average.”

For all the talk that Clayton Kershaw is in decline, he’s still pitching pretty damn well. He’s 11-2 with a 2.77 ERA, which is 4th best in all of baseball. His 1.038 WHIP is 5th in the NL, and his walks, hits, and strikeouts per 9 IP also put him in the Top 10 in the NL. Anybody that says “he’s done” is seriously misinformed. Kershaw would be an ace on nearly every team in baseball, but it just so happens one of the best in baseball this season is his teammate. Actually, it just goes to show you just how phenomenal he was at one point, given that he is still an excellent pitcher.

If the Angels don’t get some real pitching next year, they might as well change their motto to “Come see Trout and wait for the route”. Given that Gerrit Cole just pitched against the Halos last week and grew up in SoCal, there’s certainly speculation he could sign with the Angels this winter. It would probably cost over $200 million, but that’s not a figure that Billy Eppler sounds like he’s shying away from. Even without Cole though, there are a number of other solid pitchers on the market the Angels have the budget to sign this offseason. Let’s hope they get serious about it unlike this past off-season.

I can’t remember a USC Football season in recent memory like the one coming up. There is simply no buzz about this team whatsoever, and some minuscule coverage. In fact, the only buzz is the ticket prices, as USC raised the season ticket prices 30% on all their season ticket holders. I guess the money had to some from somewhere to pay off that $100 million lawsuit. I love the narrative that Clay Helton is “owning” the fact that he was 5-7 last year. I’m sorry but Clay Helton owns nothing. If he was owning it he would have fired his entire staff. There is some talent on the field, but coaching in College Football is everything to develop it. That Trojans don’t have it and without it, another losing season is very much a reality.

Finally, the most Oakland Raiders thing in the world would be if Antonio Brown decides to quit football over this helmet situation, right after they traded it for him. Brown has talent superior to anyone in the NFL at the wide receiver position, but the maturity and attitude of a 7-year-old who just got his X-BOX taken from him. The ridiculous thing about this is that he has known this for months, yet weeks before the season starts he’s trying to get his old helmet back. On the bright side, I fully expect Hard Knocks to show us the complete drama that unfolds with AB. So far their first episode was highly underwhelming, and could have been so much more, dancing around the real drama: Big Ben and AB’s relationship, the actual frostbite incident with AB, and Richie Incognito’s past related to hazing rookies. Something tells me they are going to continue to dance around the juicy issues, but we’ll see how it unfolds.

Monday Morning Coffee

August 5, 2019

We’ve become so bored in August that sports journalism has decided to analyze Lebron James parenting skills. Cue the eye roll emojis. Last week Lebron was seen doing throwing down dunks in the layup lines with his son’s AAU team, and doing chest bumps with Bronny after he threw down a lob pass. Apparently this doesn’t sit well with some of you folks attending your kids basketball games with your legs crossed and politely clapping. I’ve got news for you: you aren’t Lebron James. If you were, you could do that, and it would be perfectly fine. This is also a big part of the AAU culture, which is symbolized by showmanship. Having Lebron James throw down dunks and celebrate with his son is part of that, and only makes it more entertaining. Not to mention the fact he’s just being a great father, and that’s it’s pretty damn cool he gets to share this experience with his son.

Then there’s David Griffin. Griffin is a very good NBA executive, but in a recent interview with Sports Illustrated, he comes off as an ungrateful jerk. Griffin said he was miserable building around Lebron James, saying the culture they built was completely “inorganic” and “not fun”. Of course he tried to issue some damage control on this later on, since he has to so in order to maintain a good relationship with Klutch Sports. Sorry David, but in case you haven’t learned already, you don’t win in the NBA without stars. You had one of the best ones to ever play, and you didn’t seem to enjoy it. Now you can find out what life is like without that star. Let us know how it goes.

I realize most of you think Carmelo Anthony is nothing but a one-dimensional ball hog, who is past his prime. However, let’s stop pretending like ‘Melo is a bad guy, or that his skill level has deteriorated to the point of not being an NBA player. Sure he’s not a great defender, but there’s plenty of other dudes in the league that don’t defend either, and they are employed by an NBA team. My point is that this man deserves a chance. A simple opportunity to accept a smaller role off the bench. If so, he might actually be pretty good at it. I can’t imagine that nobody in the league could use this kind of scoring off the bench. You could also do a lot worse than Carmelo Anthony for a minimum salary. He certainly said the right things in an interview with Stephen A Smith last week. I’d love to see him get that chance. He looked pretty good scrimmaging against some pros last week. What’s the risk?

To baseball where the Dodgers did absolutely nothing at the trade deadline to fix their bullpen problems. Apparently Andrew Friedman must not have seen his bullpen pitch this season, because at this point they would struggle just to close a hot dog stand, let alone a baseball game. I get that the Dodgers didn’t want to give up a prospect like Gavin Lux, who could be one of their infielders for the next 10 years, or Dustin May, who could be a solid starter as soon as next season. However, they have two very good catching prospects, and other solid talent in their farm system. Friedman really couldn’t use one of them to get a trustworthy bullpen arm? Something tells me that even Mark Walter is rolling his eyes on this one, wanting the Dodgers to actually do everything they can to win a title. That’s going to be really tough now that the Astros beefed up at the trade deadline acquiring Zack Greinke.

Meanwhile, the Angels season is over and they were smart not to pretend like they were buyers at the deadline. This team gets an injury every 5 minutes, and will likely have even more by the time you’re done reading this. The latest group to head to the IL is Andrelton Simmons, Garrett Canning, and Felix Pena. Their problems go well beyond pitching too. Suddenly, Justin Upton looks like another waste of money, and he’s stuck on the books for another two years. They also have no 3rd baseman, and no catching after letting go of Jonathan Lucroy. I’m not even sure the $34 million they could have to spend this off-season will be enough to fix all their problems. The Angels should make Albert Pujols pitch every game from here on out this season just to avoid any injuries. He’s done anyway, and would at least provide some entertainment seeing his lard butt try to pitch.

The Chargers are already off to a difficult start in training camp. Left Tackle Russell Okung looks like he will miss time with a pulmonary embolism issue, and then there’s the continued contract standoff between Melvin Gordon and the front office. Gordon wants more than the $10 million annually that is being offered to him, and at this point, wants to be traded. Sure teams like Tampa Bay, Seattle, and Houston could really use Gordon, but they certainly aren’t giving the Bolts a 1st round pick for him. Running backs are like iTunes music. Everybody wants it, but nobody is willing to pay for it. I don’t blame Gordon for trying, but as usual, NFL players have no leverage in these contract negotiations. He’s lucky to get the $10 million he’s being offered, and should just take it and get back to work. In the meantime though, the Chargers better hope Gordon doesn’t miss games so it doesn’t compromise their season.

Mercifully this season of The Bachelorette finally came to an end last week. Hannah Brown was such a disaster, and her selection of Jed over Tyler and Peter just symbolized her stupidity. Apparently Jed thought he was going on “The Voice” instead of “The Bachelorette”. Even Luke P. received a standing ovation from the studio audience the week before when he was introduced, but Jed just got radio silence. That’s how hated that man was. Hannah doesn’t deserve Tyler, even if it appears she has an opportunity with him now. The level of scripting on the show is just too much though. For a while it was believable that all these people are crazy fools willing to look like idiots on TV. Now it’s apparent that these are all crazy fools willing to do what the ABC producers tell them to do in order to embarrass themselves on National TV. Somehow, it doesn’t seem to stop us from watching over and over again. Also, who the hell was camped out in the bushes all night waiting for Tyler and Hannah to walk outside in the morning? I’m thinking it was Chris Harrison.

Monday Morning Coffee

July 29, 2019

The Clippers finally introduced Kawhi Leonard and Paul George last week at a press conference. Obviously this was very exciting for all 6 real Clipper fans in Southern California. I especially enjoyed Paul George referring to the fan base as “Clipper Nation”. Sorry Paul, but it’s not a nation. It’s not even a city, a town, or a street. It’s more like “Clipper Cul-de-sac”. Even funnier is the fact Paul George claimed he was a Clipper fan growing up. He must think LA basketball fans are as dumb as the people that are planning on storming Area 51. The internet has receipts showing that he was a Laker fan growing up. Look, congratulations to the Clippers for pulling this off and becoming NBA Championship contenders, but don’t try to bamboozle the fans by claiming this is something it isn’t.

As for the Lakers, they may have put together a very good roster, but the foolishness of their front office and ownership was on full display last week again. Kawhi Leonard specifically mentioned the greatness of the Clippers owner, Steve Ballmer, their coach, Doc Rivers, and their front office, led by Lawrence Frank. That was a direct shot fired at Jeanie Buss, Rob Pelinka, and Magic Johnson for their dysfunction, incompetence, and arrogance the last 6 months, which prevented them from becoming a tyrannical dynasty this off-season. Just because “we are the Lakers” doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want. That foolishness was also on display when they parted ways with Ryan West, who is one of the better talent evaluators in the game, and easily has enough experience to be a GM in this league, instead of some of the other clowns in the league in that role. If you can’t find a place for that guy, then one should ask if you know what you’re doing. Meanwhile, the Lakers are still hoping Andre Iguodola gets released so they can pounce on him, and that signing Giannis’ little brother will be the ticket to them getting Giannis in 2021. Let the tampering begin!

To baseball where the Dodgers took 2 of 3 from the Nationals over the weekend, but their odds of improving the team at the trade deadline are looking very unlikely. The Boys in Blue need bullpen help like Donald Trump needs to stay off Twitter, but it doesn’t look like much is coming. Andrew Friedman is a prospect hoarder. This year, it’s hard to blame him considering he’s got a quartet of great prospects that are about to break into the majors, and this is coming from someone who’s as critical of Friedman as anyone. Major league relievers are more volatile than the stock market, so even someone like Felipe Vasquez should be looked at the way you would look at a pending free agent, since his performance has only been elite this year. The best bet for the Dodgers to improve the club is to take one of their young pitchers like Julio Urias or Dustin May, and slot them into a bullpen role in the postseason. It would also help the Dodgers immensely if they weren’t matchup/analytics focused come October, and allow Dave Roberts to actually manage instead of having Siri and Alexa tell him what to do.

Meanwhile, you thought for just a second that the Angels should be buyers at the trade deadline. Then they reminded you that they are still the Angels, struggling against one of the worst teams in baseball, the Orioles. Going into Sunday the Halos were 5 games out of the 2nd Wild Card spot in the AL, but they have to battle 5 other teams to get there. This season has been bumpier than going for a ride on the Matterhorn. Giving up some solid prospects just for a chance at a one game playoff is silly. The Halos don’t just need one pitcher to get back to the postseason. They need 3 or 4. Their best bet is to take the $35 million or so they have to spend this off-season, and spend it on the likes of a Madison Bumgarner, Gerrit Cole, Cole Hamels, or Zack Wheeler. That should give them enough time to develop pitching from within, while vaulting them into contention in the AL.

The Rams opened training camp over the weekend, as well as announced extensions for Sean McVay and Les Snead. Funny how it wasn’t that long ago that people wondered whether Les Snead would still have a job with the Rams. Now he’s viewed as one of the better GM’s in the league, all because McVay came down from heaven as what appears to be the next great NFL coach. The Rams have one of the easiest schedules in the NFL this year, so they should return to the playoffs and contend for another Super Bowl appearance. They have good young stars in Jared Goff, Todd Gurley, and Aaron Donald. However, even if Gurley’s knee isn’t 100%, and Goff regresses, something tells me that with McVay secured as their leader, they’ll figure out a way to be successful. Coaching in the NFL means that much. Just ask the New England Patriots.

Shark Week 2019 is here! It’s one of my favorite weeks of the year on The Discovery Channel. I won’t be moving from my TV set for the next week, but probably also not going in the ocean either. I find sharks one of the most terrifying yet one of the most fascinating creatures in the world. It’s nice to see Discovery focus a little more on the science of sharks the last few years and not the sensationalized shark attacks, which they’ve done in previous years.

Finally, The Bachelorette’s “Men Tell All” went down last week on ABC. There might not be a bigger villain in Bachelor History than Luke P. Imagine playing a drinking game where you had to take a shot every time Luke P said “let me be clear” last week. You would be dead in 5 minutes. Hey Luke: “no means no” and “go means go”. Leave it to ABC to somehow bring in the religious angle by having Luke P play the role of the controversial Christian. By the way, is no one going to acknowledge the hickey that was on his neck? The reality of it is, Hannah was so uninteresting as The Bachelorette, they needed Luke to bring the drama this season to keep everyone’s attention. As if this season wasn’t disappointing enough, you’ll be even more disappointed to know that Mike won’t be the next Bachelor since he was seen on a preview of Bachelor in Paradise. Considering we’re done with Luke P, how interesting can the finale be? Even ABC doesn’t really think so.

Monday Morning Coffee

July 22, 2019

The Lakers reportedly feel like they “got played” by Kawhi Leonard when he decided to join the Clippers. It’s this type of ridiculous logic that qualifies you to be the owner of the Lakers these days. Kawhi was clearly not going to go play for the Clippers unless they acquired another star, which they did at the 11th hour. Had they not, he likely would have joined the Lakers. The idea that Kawhi dragged out this process so that the Lakers would miss out on other free agents makes no sense. Kawhi would be hurting any team he joined by dragging out the process. This type of flawed logic also qualifies people to be NBA journalists these days as well. Nevertheless, Rob Pelinka deserves credit for recovering the way he did after he was spurned by Leonard. It sure would be nice though if Andre Iguodala got bought out and joined the Lakers. That would further vault them into title contention.

The Clippers are finally going to introduce Kawhi Leonard and Paul George this week. For a team that is trying to grow it’s fan base, what the hell took so long? I was beginning to think that the press conference was going to happen right around the all-star break at this rate. Kawhi probably asked if he could just Face Time for the press conference given how much he seems to enjoy the media. Meanwhile, Jerry West claimed that the Clippers are the best organization he’s ever worked for. This was clearly meant as a shot at not only the Warriors and Grizzlies, but most definitely the Lakers. Come on Jerry, nobody really believes that you believe that. We know you’re angry and making a prisoner of the moment statement. Still, it’s sad to see arguably the greatest executive in league history get away from the most storied franchise.

To baseball where the Dodgers keep winning but their bullpen is looking more and more disastrous by the day. You know it’s bad when Kenley Jansen admits things will be great when he and Joe Kelly start pitching better. You also know it’s bad when Clayton Kershaw expressed disappointment in their performance on Saturday, costing him a win. The question isn’t whether or not Andrew Freidman will try to fix the problem, it’s whether or not he’s going to shop at the 99 Cent Store to fix it. Friedman always goes dumpster diving for garbage relievers that never actually fix the problem LA has had for the past 5 years. That’s why it’s hard for me to imagine him actually paying the price to get a Felipe Vazquez, Brad Hand, or Will Smith. In reality, the Dodgers probably need two of those guys in the pen to give themselves a real postseason chance.

As for the Angels, they finally parted ways with Matt Harvey, after he pitched another disastrous outing. It turns out the Halos didn’t really sign the Dark Knight. Instead they signed the Joker, who burned about $28.5 million on useless pitching. Harvey and his $11 million salary was DFA’d, so was $8.5 million Closer Cody Allen, while $9 million Trevor Cahill was moved to the bullpen. Angel starters have gone an MLB worst 4.2 innings per game. The passing of Tyler Skaggs and the continuous trips to the IL by Andrew Heaney have made it even worse. There’s just no starting pitching for this team, and they won’t be a threat to do anything until they get some.

Arash Markazi is solid reporter, and as good of a guy as they come in the industry. However, his article in the LA Times yesterday about LA entering a “Golden Age” for sports rivalries is way off. Arash claims that the Galaxy and LAFC is currently a great rivalry, and cited Angels-Dodgers, Clippers-Lakers, and Rams-Chargers, as other solid inter-city rivalries. I couldn’t disagree more. While the Galaxy and LAFC is looking more promising, the Lakers and the Clippers haven’t even played a game yet with their new look rosters, so let’s slam the brakes on that one. Last time the Clippers put together “Lob City” it was “Flop City”. The Angels and Dodgers is more of a marketing manufactured rivalry, but no on-field rivalry. The Angels aren’t close to competing for anything, and nobody believes Cody Bellinger is better than Mike Trout. Rams and Chargers isn’t a rivalry either because the Chargers have no fans, and the teams are pretty friendly with each other. The Kings and Ducks had a very nice rivalry going a few years ago, but now they both stink, and the same goes for UCLA and USC. I’m not seeing much of a “golden age” here.

The Chargers might be toast in their negotiations with Melvin Gordon. If Gordon requests that the Bolts play in front of at least 200 fans at every home game, they are out of luck. No way 200 Charger fans exist in SoCal anymore, let alone getting 200 to go to a game. The Chargers are about 10th on the list of teams to support in Los Angeles, coming in right after the Sparks and an Intramural Sand Flag Football team in Marina Del Rey.

Watching Tiger Woods limp up and down the fairway at The Open Championship this weekend was just sad. It was only 3 months ago that he gave us a nice flashback by winning The Masters. However, his inability to physically recover between tournaments, while also not being healthy enough to consistently play between majors is preventing sustained success. The man has become less effective in the cold than Jared Goff. When I hear phrases like “Father Time” and “trying to prolong my career” out of his mouth, I’m fearing that we may have seen the last major title of his career this year. Here’s to hoping I’m wrong.

Finally, The Bachelorette went down on ABC last week and it’s back tonight. ABC just trolled everyone so hard when Hannah appeared to send Luke home, only to show him in the previews for the next show. Then again, if Tyler ends up punching Luke when this is all over, it will be totally worth the wait. I’m not sure we’ll ever look at windmills the same way again after Hannah told us about her adventures in one. Tyler’s pants are definitely tighter than Luke P’s grip on reality. Looks like Luke’s sex shaming strategy didn’t work out so great. Windmills and Luke are now the biggest rivalry in Bachelor/Bachelorette history. Jed was really struggling to get through that date without his guitar. This is getting more entertaining as we’re getting down to the end, despite the fact Hannah B herself is underwhelming as a Bachelorette.