October baseball anxiety, a Rams resurrection, Charger misery, Lincoln Riley’s hot seat, Irish playoff math, and Kings defensemen headed for lunar orbit

Pour yourself a cup. Make it strong.

Actually, if you’re a Dodgers fan, forget the coffee. You might want something with a higher alcohol content.

Because we have officially reached that wonderful time of year when every pitch feels like a root canal, every runner left in scoring position feels like a personal betrayal, and a routine ground ball can ruin your entire evening.

Welcome to October.

THE DODGERS: YES, YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED

How worried am I about the Dodgers?

Very.

Not “the asteroid is definitely hitting Earth” worried. But definitely “maybe we should start looking into underground bunkers” worried.

After dropping Game 2 to the Braves — and, more specifically, failing to do enough damage against the Atlanta bullpen — the Dodgers now head to Atlanta for Game 3 and get rewarded with Chris Sale.

Wonderful.

Because nothing cures an offense struggling to produce clutch hits quite like facing one of the nastiest left-handed pitchers of his generation.

Here’s the frustrating part: the Dodgers have pitched well enough to win both games.

That’s what makes this so maddening.

The pitching hasn’t been the problem. The Dodgers simply haven’t executed offensively when the game has demanded it.

And yes, Shohei Ohtani’s ailments are clearly part of the equation. When the most dangerous hitter on the planet isn’t physically right, that tends to affect an offense.

But October baseball isn’t always about launching baseballs 450 feet into the pavilion.

Sometimes you have to manufacture a run.

Lay down the sacrifice bunt.

Take the extra base when it’s there.

Don’t take the extra base when it’s not there.

Move runners over.

Make the routine defensive play.

Basically, do all the boring baseball stuff that nobody puts in a Nike commercial.

Take the first inning of Game 2.

If Mookie Betts simply throws to second base and takes the force out, the Dodgers probably escape the inning.

Instead, they don’t get the out, Atlanta capitalizes, and suddenly everybody watching at home is screaming instructions at a television while holding a drink.

October baseball!

This team has enough talent to win the World Series. Nobody disputes that.

But talent stops mattering when you start giving away outs and failing to cash in scoring opportunities.

The Dodgers need to start doing the little things correctly because the margin for error is now microscopic.

Of course, you know what would be the most baseball thing imaginable?

The Dodgers spend two days looking completely incapable of getting a big hit, everybody declares the season dead, they fly to Atlanta to face Chris Sale…

…and score seven runs in four innings.

Honestly, I’m half expecting it.

Baseball makes absolutely no sense.

THE RAMS: HOW DID THEY WIN THAT GAME?

Now that was a football game.

The Rams went into Philadelphia and somehow pulled off a tremendous comeback victory to get back to 2-2.

And suddenly the season looks very different.

Was it pretty?

Absolutely not.

Were there still plenty of problems?

Oh yes.

The special teams unit currently looks like it was assembled through an open casting call.

Matthew Stafford needs to be sharper.

There are injuries everywhere.

But they won.

And after what happened in Denver, you can make a pretty convincing argument that this team could easily be 3-1 if they hadn’t gotten hosed on that non-call against the Broncos.

Yes, I’m still bitter.

No, I’m not moving on.

The important thing is that the Rams survived the first month at 2-2 despite injuries, inconsistent play and the occasional officiating adventure.

We’ve seen this movie before.

Sean McVay’s Rams frequently spend September looking like they just met each other in the parking lot before eventually figuring things out.

The problem?

The rest of the NFC West isn’t waiting around.

The 49ers are 4-0.

Seattle is 3-1.

So while 2-2 feels considerably better after stealing one in Philadelphia, there isn’t much runway available.

Clean up the special teams.

Get Stafford comfortable.

Get healthy.

And start stacking wins.

Because San Francisco apparently plans on losing sometime around February.

THE CHARGERS: SEE YOU IN 2027

And then there are the Chargers.

0-4.

Season over.

I know mathematically there are approximately 58 different scenarios where an 0-4 team can still make the playoffs.

I’m sure one involves winning 11 straight games, a Raiders-Broncos tie, three lunar eclipses and Andy Reid accidentally retiring.

I’m not interested.

This team looks bad.

And perhaps the most shocking part is that they look uncompetitive.

I never thought I’d say that about a Jim Harbaugh-coached football team.

Harbaugh teams are supposed to be physical. Annoying. Disciplined. Difficult to play against.

This team currently looks like it would have trouble winning the AFC West intramural flag football tournament.

And Mike McDaniel’s seat has to be getting awfully warm.

The offense is wildly inconsistent.

I still don’t think Justin Herbert is the problem.

What exactly would you like him to do?

His offensive line can’t protect him and half his receiving corps looks like they’re waiting for their next Uber Eats order.

At some point, personnel matters.

Herbert will take the criticism because quarterbacks always do. Harbaugh will take plenty because he’s Jim Harbaugh.

But when you’re 0-4 and getting pushed around every week, eventually somebody gets sacrificed to the football gods.

McDaniel may want to avoid Zillow for the next few weeks.

USC: AN UGLY WIN IS STILL A WIN

USC beat Washington Saturday.

That’s the good news.

The bad news is that it wasn’t exactly the kind of performance that makes you start checking airfare for the College Football Playoff.

Ironically, after spending much of the season watching the defense resemble a freeway on-ramp, it was actually the offense that struggled.

And when USC desperately needed a play?

The defense made one.

I’ll take it.

At this point, Trojan fans aren’t asking for style points.

They’re asking for survival.

But somebody in the media needs to ask Lincoln Riley about those “Fire Lincoln” chants.

Come on.

We all hear them.

Lincoln hears them.

The players hear them.

People watching television in Bakersfield hear them.

Yet somehow everybody gets to the press conference afterward and acts like thousands of USC fans weren’t just publicly requesting the head coach’s termination.

Ask the question!

Because Riley’s situation is fascinating.

Look at the remaining schedule.

Where exactly are the easy wins?

There aren’t many.

A 7-5 season is absolutely on the table.

And if USC finishes 7-5?

Those “Fire Lincoln” chants are going to sound like a Gregorian choir compared with what’s coming next.

NOTRE DAME: JUST WIN THE TWO THAT MATTER

Meanwhile, my Notre Dame Fighting Irish survived a sloppy, rain-soaked game against North Carolina.

It wasn’t beautiful.

But Notre Dame remains No. 3 in the country, and at this point the playoff equation is pretty straightforward.

It comes down to BYU and Miami.

Two top-10 opponents.

Beat both: Notre Dame is in.

Lose both: Notre Dame is out.

Split them: They’re probably still in, assuming the loss is competitive and they handle the rest of the schedule.

That’s it.

No advanced mathematics required.

No committee conspiracy theories.

No need to have Paul Finebaum explain strength of schedule while six people yell at each other on television.

Beat BYU and Miami and nobody can say anything.

This is a very good Notre Dame team.

Now we’re going to find out whether it’s a great one.

THE KINGS: HAS ANYONE CONSIDERED PLAYING DEFENSE?

Finally, to the ice.

The Kings play their home opener tomorrow and will begin celebrating their 60th anniversary.

Very exciting.

Maybe in honor of the occasion they could celebrate another historic Kings tradition:

playing defense.

Because the first two games have been rough.

They got smoked in Colorado and then lost in overtime to San Jose.

The fascinating development is that suddenly the Kings can score.

Great!

Unfortunately, they’ve apparently decided that preventing the other team from scoring is optional.

The goaltending hasn’t helped either.

And the most frustrating part is that the potential answer in net is basically standing there waving at them.

Eric Portillo.

The kid is talented.

At some point, let’s find out what you have.

Because the current solution isn’t exactly inspiring confidence.

Unfortunately, Portillo can only play goalie.

He cannot simultaneously replace four defensemen.

And that is unfortunate because, based on the first two games, I would happily send approximately four members of the Kings’ blue line directly to the moon.

Not Ontario.

Not the American Hockey League.

The actual moon.

No waiver claim.

No conditioning assignment.

Just SpaceX.

The good news is that it’s two games.

The bad news is that through two games, the Kings have looked like a team that spent the entire offseason fixing its offense and then suddenly realized five minutes before opening night:

“Wait…who’s playing defense?”

Happy 60th anniversary!

Maybe tomorrow night they can celebrate it by allowing fewer than five goals.

Baby steps.

LAST CALL

So here we are.

The Dodgers are two games into October and already testing our cardiovascular health.

The Rams somehow crawled out of Philadelphia at 2-2 and might actually be dangerous if they can stop sabotaging themselves.

The Chargers are 0-4 and should probably start scouting draft prospects.

USC won but nobody feels particularly good about it.

Notre Dame controls its own destiny.

And the Kings have apparently decided that defense is an outdated hockey concept.

Just another perfectly normal week in sports.

Now excuse me while I prepare to watch the Dodgers face Chris Sale.

I’m going to need another cup.

And depending on the first three innings, I may need something considerably stronger than coffee.