November 2, 2026

The Rams are rising, the Chargers are dying, the Lakers are testing our blood pressure, and UCLA football is apparently a national powerhouse. What a time to be alive in Los Angeles.

Good morning, Los Angeles!

We’re officially entering that wonderful time of the sports calendar when every single one of our teams is capable of making us feel either incredibly optimistic or clinically depressed. Sometimes within the same 24 hours.

The Rams are finally looking like the team we expected. The Chargers are making a compelling case for relegation to the Mountain West. The Lakers are alternating between championship contender and recreational basketball team, sometimes in the same quarter. UCLA is undefeated, USC has a pulse, and the Kings are apparently still under the impression that it’s 2014.

Pour yourself a strong cup of coffee. We’re going to need it.

THE RAMS: REPORTS OF THEIR DEATH WERE GREATLY EXAGGERATED

Well, well, well. Look who’s starting to resemble an actual football team!

The Rams got off to another sluggish start against the Chargers yesterday before finally waking up, remembering they have a talented roster, and taking care of business. It wasn’t always pretty, but this is starting to look like the team we expected back in September.

And here’s where things get interesting.

The upcoming schedule is softer than a hotel pillow. There’s absolutely no reason this team shouldn’t enter its bye week at 6-4. In fact, don’t be shocked if they’re sitting at 8-4 a few weeks later. By then, they’ll presumably be healthier, more cohesive, and hopefully done experimenting with ways to lose games they have absolutely no business losing.

The problem? The NFC North apparently decided to become the SEC. There are a lot of very good teams in the conference, and the Rams have some serious climbing to do just to get into the wild-card conversation.

But a few weeks ago, we were discussing whether this season was already circling the drain. Now we’re discussing a potential playoff run.

That’s progress, people.

And if this team gets healthy and starts playing to its potential, I wouldn’t want to see them in January.

THE CHARGERS: HAVE YOU CONSIDERED TRYING A TOUCHDOWN?

0-7.

Zero wins. Seven losses.

And perhaps the most astonishing statistic in the entire NFL: The Los Angeles Chargers have now gone TEN CONSECUTIVE QUARTERS WITHOUT SCORING A TOUCHDOWN.

Ten!

That’s two and a half football games. With Justin Herbert at quarterback. And Jim Harbaugh as head coach.

I’m not sure what’s more shocking: that this team can’t score a touchdown or that anyone still voluntarily pays money to watch them try.

At this point, the Chargers’ offense makes the DMV look efficient.

I genuinely don’t know what else there is to say. This was supposed to be a team built around a franchise quarterback and a coach who supposedly knows how to build winning football programs. Instead, they’ve produced a team that looks like it might struggle to move the ball against a decent high school defense.

Harbaugh needs to do some serious soul-searching. Herbert needs some help. The organization needs to figure out how it got here.

And the fans? Well, all 17 of them deserve a refund.

The Chargers have officially entered the part of the season where the most exciting thing on the schedule is the NFL Draft.

Congratulations. It’s November.

THE LAKERS: THE MOST ENTERTAINING WAY TO DEVELOP HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE

Okay, Lakers fans. We need to establish some ground rules.

We cannot have a complete emotional breakdown after every single game in November.

I know. I’m asking a lot.

Blowing a 25-point lead to Golden State on Friday was embarrassing. There’s no defending it. You don’t build a lead that big and then decide the remaining 20 minutes are optional.

But here’s what I keep coming back to: The Lakers are building these enormous leads in the first place.

That’s actually encouraging!

The starting five looks very good. The problem is that the bench operates like a casino slot machine. Sometimes you hit the jackpot. Other times you lose everything you brought into the building and wonder why you came.

This is a young team, and learning how to protect leads is part of the maturation process. The talent is there. The consistency isn’t. Yet.

Meanwhile, Luka Dončić is apparently auditioning for the role of 2006 Kobe Bryant. He’s scoring almost whenever he feels like it, and there are stretches when the opposing defense might as well just ask him politely to miss.

Austin Reaves continues to demonstrate that he can score with just about anybody, although someone needs to explain to him that turnovers aren’t an officially recognized offensive statistic worth accumulating.

And Walker Kessler?

I’ll say it again for the people in the back: HE IS WORTH EVERY PENNY OF THAT $30 MILLION.

His defensive presence alone has completely changed the complexion of this team. He protects the rim, alters shots, rebounds, and provides something the Lakers have desperately needed for years: an actual center who understands that defending the paint is part of his job description.

As for Bronny James and Jalen Hardy, after watching those final two minutes last night, I’m prepared to personally purchase their one-way plane tickets to China.

I’m sure Shanghai is lovely this time of year.

The bottom line is that I actually like this Lakers team. A lot. They have the pieces to be very good, but their bench needs to grow up quickly if they want to compete in a brutally competitive Western Conference.

Tonight against Miami should be another interesting test.

And please, for the love of everything holy, if they get a 20-point lead, could they try keeping it?

THE CLIPPERS: AT LEAST THE BUILDING IS NICE

We’re two weeks into the NBA season, and the Clippers are already sinking toward the bottom of the Western Conference standings.

I wish I could tell you I’m surprised.

I’m not.

They’re missing Brandon Ingram, their presumed leading scorer, which certainly doesn’t help. But this roster wasn’t exactly screaming championship contender even with him.

And here’s the really delicious part: Oklahoma City owns their draft pick.

That’s right. The Clippers could spend the entire season being absolutely terrible, and the biggest beneficiary might be the team that’s already one of the best in basketball.

Somewhere in Oklahoma City, Sam Presti is sipping a latte and wondering whether he should send the Clippers a thank-you basket.

At least the Intuit Dome is spectacular.

Seriously, it’s a beautiful building. Great sightlines, incredible technology, and apparently still enough people who haven’t visited yet to keep the novelty alive.

Unfortunately, at some point, people are going to stop paying premium prices just to admire the bathrooms and the giant scoreboard.

Eventually, they’re going to expect some basketball.

UCLA FOOTBALL: WAIT, ARE WE ACTUALLY A NATIONAL POWERHOUSE?

8-0.

Number five in the country.

Let those words sink in for a moment.

UCLA FOOTBALL IS 8-0 AND RANKED FIFTH IN THE ASSOCIATED PRESS POLL.

If you had told me that a year ago, I would’ve asked what you were drinking and whether I could have some.

But here we are.

Bob Chesney has done an absolutely remarkable job transforming this program, and suddenly the Bruins aren’t just a nice early-season story. They’re a legitimate factor in the national championship conversation.

This weekend’s road trip to Minnesota is going to be a real test. I think the 6½-point spread is way too generous to UCLA, especially on the road. But I absolutely believe the Bruins can win.

And if they do, things are going to get very interesting.

Now comes the important part: UCLA needs to give Chesney everything he needs to build something sustainable. Facilities, recruiting resources, NIL support, staff, whatever it takes.

You don’t stumble upon a coach who can turn your program around and then ask him to build a national contender with a Costco membership and some leftover athletic department gift cards.

And while we’re at it, can we please figure out how to get people to the games?

The Rose Bowl is iconic, but Pasadena isn’t exactly convenient for the UCLA community. That said, moving games onto campus isn’t some magical solution either. Roughly 80% of the game-day traffic comes from nonstudents, and getting tens of thousands of people into Westwood could create an entirely different logistical nightmare.

The answer requires creativity, investment, and a long-term strategy.

Rome wasn’t built in a day. Neither was a great college football program.

But for the first time in a very long time, UCLA appears to have the right architect.

And the best part?

For once, USC fans are looking across town with envy.

Enjoy it, Bruins.

USC FOOTBALL: LINCOLN RILEY HAS RISEN FROM THE DEAD

Speaking of USC, how about that win over Ohio State?

Yes, yes, I know. Ohio State was playing its backup quarterback.

Who cares?

A win over Ohio State is a win over Ohio State. Nobody asks how you got the trophy once it’s sitting in the display case.

More importantly, Lincoln Riley may have just saved his job.

For the time being, anyway.

A few weeks ago, the conversation around USC was essentially about whether Riley should be fired before or after Thanksgiving. Now, suddenly, there’s an actual path back into the College Football Playoff conversation.

A win over Indiana no longer sounds completely insane.

And if the Trojans pull that off, imagine what happens when they meet UCLA at the end of the season.

An undefeated Bruins team? A surging USC team? A potential playoff berth hanging in the balance?

The television executives would need to be hospitalized for excessive excitement.

And wouldn’t that be something? After months of people calling for Riley’s head, the guy could suddenly find himself coaching in one of the biggest games of the college football season.

Of course, this is USC, which means they’re perfectly capable of following up a monumental victory by losing to someone they should beat by three touchdowns.

But at least there’s hope again.

And in Los Angeles, hope is usually all it takes to get the bandwagon rolling.

THE LA KINGS: KEN HOLLAND, PLEASE PUT DOWN THE PHONE

I’m officially exhausted by the constant reports that Kings general manager Ken Holland is making calls about every big-name player who might be available.

Ken, buddy, I have some unfortunate news.

YOU DON’T NEED ANOTHER AGING STAR. YOU NEED A REBUILD.

This team isn’t one blockbuster trade away from contending for the Stanley Cup. It’s several smart organizational decisions away from becoming relevant again.

And the bigger problem? What exactly are you planning to trade?

You’ve already spent valuable resources assembling a defense corps that looks like it should be eligible for senior discounts.

Cody Ceci. Brian Dumoulin. A collection of aging veterans whose best hockey appears to be somewhere in the rearview mirror.

It’s like Holland walked into a used-car dealership, ignored all the newer models, and insisted on purchasing three vehicles with 180,000 miles on them because they used to be reliable.

And here’s my favorite part.

Ceci comes out of the lineup, an average replacement goes in, and the Kings immediately look better.

What an incredible coincidence!

Then Ceci goes back into the lineup the following game, and the Kings look terrible again.

I’m no hockey analytics genius, but perhaps there’s something worth investigating there.

This franchise seems absolutely determined to convince itself that it’s still a contender. It’s not.

The Kings need to get younger, faster, and more skilled. They need to accumulate assets rather than spend them on players who were excellent when Barack Obama was president.

And most importantly, they need someone in management willing to acknowledge reality.

Stop trying to reload a gun that doesn’t have any bullets.

It’s time to build a new one.

THE FINAL SIP

So where does that leave us?

The Rams are starting to make believers out of us again. The Chargers are apparently attempting to become the first NFL team to finish a season without discovering the end zone. The Lakers have enough talent to be dangerous and enough bench problems to drive us insane.

The Clippers have a billion-dollar building and a ten-cent outlook. UCLA is dreaming about a national championship, USC is suddenly dreaming about the playoffs, and the Kings are still dreaming about the glory days of 2014.

And perhaps the craziest thing of all?

The biggest football game in Los Angeles this year might actually be UCLA versus USC.

Who saw that coming?

Have a great week, everybody. Enjoy the games, appreciate the wins, and remember: no matter how bad your favorite team looks, at least you’re not a Chargers fan.

Unless you are.

In which case, make that coffee a double.

Until next Monday.