Monthly Archives: November 2019

Monday Morning Coffee

November 25, 2019

The Lakers are 14-2. Lebron has never gotten off to a start this good with any team. Hey Jackie McMullon and Brian Windhorst….not bad for a team that is “a work in progress” right? I can’t wait to see what they look like when they do, because they are already a defensive juggernaut. Weird because I thought they were supposed to be flawed defensively, and that Rob Pelinka was a novice. Where are all those people now? It’s a long season, and a lot can happen between now and June, but if this team stays healthy, no reason they aren’t going to be a legitimate title contender. These ESPN NBA analysts are more inaccurate than a Southern California Weather Man.

As for the Clippers, they have been finding the win column as well now that they have Paul George and Kawhi Leonard on the floor together. There’s a lot of skill set duplication with these two, but defensively, they can be very good when they want to, which we saw on Friday against the Rockets. That was a great game to watch between two very annoying teams that deserve Oscar Awards. James Harden is a phenomenal player, but his ability to manipulate referees into sending him to the foul line makes the game very unwatchable. As if that’s not annoying enough, Doc Rivers might as well be defending the three-point line since he’s so far onto the court in the 4th quarter. Then there’s Patrick Beverly who is out here acting like he just got tazed.

Speaking of the NBA, I can appreciate the idea of Adam Silver’s radical proposals. I love the idea of re-seeding at the conference finals to insure the finals are played with the two best teams. That’s a good compromise as opposed to seeding 1-16 to start the playoffs, which would cause additional travel fatigue for some teams. As for the in-season tournament, as long it doesn’t replace the All-Star game, I’m in favor. This could reduce tanking, load management, and make some of of the smaller market teams more relevant. If executed properly, it has great potential for success. You can thank the Clippers load management of Kawhi for getting the league to its breaking point on this issue.

To College Football, where I’ve never seen a weirder UCLA-USC game then Saturday at the Coliseum. Both teams fan bases wanted the other side to win, all because of the fate of Clay Helton. That’s right….UCLA fans want Helton to stay to keep the team in mediocrity, while USC fans want Helton gone to get back to being an elite program. Then it was almost like Helton and Chip Kelly were trolling each other with all the timeouts they called at odd unnecessary moments. 52-35? Cute flag football game guys. In typical UCLA fashion, the offense put up some points, the defense was awful, and Kelly was wildly idiotic. A perfect summary of the season. Get ready for another season of that. Meanwhile, the Trojans will probably make it to some mediocre bowl game, while we await the fate of the underwhelming Helton. Hopefully they don’t wait too long to decide for their sake, since their recruiting rankings are sinking like the Titanic.

I was really beginning to wonder if UCLA basketball was any good, but I got my answer after they lost to Hoffstra at home on Friday. That’s this season’s version of a Cal Poly loss, which they suffered at home in the recent past. Since Mick Cronin is telling us his team is a work progress, maybe next year he should schedule the likes of Bluefield State, Arkansas Pine Bluff, Redlands, and Hampton, who all scored fewer than 50 points in a game this week. Now I see why UCLA was picked to finish 8th in the PAC-12 by the media. Unless Mick Cronin can draw something on a white board other than a clown face, I’m pretty sure things are going to get a lot worse for the Bruins when they start facing tougher competition in Maui next week.

In the NFL, we can now add Philip Rivers to the long list of things we need to apologize to Mexico for. Rivers was awful last week against the Chiefs in Mexico, and has been looking very washed up the last few weeks. For the few of you left who are only “sticking with the Chargers because of Rivers”, you might want to start thinking about what you’re going to be doing with your Sunday’s next fall. We’ve been saying for several seasons the Bolts need to find a successor to Rivers in the draft, but they’ve been stubborn about it. Now it’s about to catch up to them. That’s just one of many problems for a team that has no fan base, and is about to move into a new stadium where they will be even more of an embarrassment.

The Rams don’t play until tonight against the Ravens at the Coliseum. However, they better bring everything they’ve got. If they lose this game, you can pretty much put the nail in the coffin on their playoff hopes for this season. I sure hope Sean McVay is planning on giving the ball to Todd Gurley about 30 times in this game, and milk the clock on every possession. Otherwise, Lamar Jackson is going to dismantle them piece by piece and it’s going to get ugly at the Coliseum.

Elsewhere around Week 12, The Patriots got the benefit of another critical call in their win against the Cowboys. The refs have to be having Thanksgiving dinner at Bill Belichick’s house. The Packers play like cheese heads when they play in the state of California. Jameis Winston recorded his 100th career turnover against the Falcons. To celebrate, all fans in attendance received a coupon for a free Apple turnover from Betty Crocker. The Jaguars made the Titans look like the the ’72 Dolphins. The Raiders lost to the Jets, and their playoff hopes are disappearing faster than a Democrat’s hopes to become President. The Steelers benched Mason Rudolph in favor of Delvin Hodges and got a win, but the real laughs were in Cleveland, where Browns fans were swinging at Rudolph pinata with a football helmet. These guys are killing it!

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On the ice, I love how the Kings had won 4 of their last 5 games going into Saturday, but were in no danger of jeopardizing their lottery status. LA is still firmly in last place in the Western Conference, and only the Red Wings are worse than them in the entire league. The Kings also lost to Coyotes twice this week. The same Coyotes team that is suddenly one of the best defensive teams in hockey, and has almost as bad of an offense as the Kings. It just so happens the Coyotes are near the top of the Pacific Division. Funny how that works. You would think a Kings team that won two Stanley Cups this decade with a defensive focus would know that’s how you become competitive quickly, but apparently they decided to be like everybody else and chase speed and offense. Downright foolishness. The Kings just keep losing, while their fans would rather be watching re-runs of Temptation Island, because they’ve gotten so boring.

Finally, the Mid-Season Finale of The Walking Dead went down last night on AMC. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if that is the case. Where do I buy that Christmas sweater that Chris Hardwick was wearing? Chase the enemy on their own territory…..real smart Carol. Why didn’t she just take out an arrow and kill Alpha right then and there? I think the group is gonna need a Genie to get out of that cave where the herd is. Father Gabriel is now the biggest badass on the show. Can’t wait to see what Negan’s reaction is to all this I never thought Eugene would break through the friend zone with Rosita, but he finally did. Even super nerds can find some action people! I appreciate the show putting the music books in the proper Dewey decimal aisle in the post-apocalyptic library. Judith should have cut that guys head off for what he did to Ace. Great episode, but this is my face when I found out the show won’t be back until February 23rd of 2020!

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Monday Morning Coffee

November 18, 2019

The Lakers are 11-2, and they have the best record in the NBA. They also have an identity: defense, owning the paint, and passing. After 6 years of getting laughed at by the league, things are looking up. Speaking of looking up, I think it’s fair to say that Kobe’s daughter is taller than Kevin Hart. Then again Snoopy is also taller than Kevin Hart, so that’s not saying much. It was nice to see Kobe and Lebron sharing a moment last night, as well as Kobe and Dwight Howard. In just one month, Dwight has managed to buy into his role beautifully, negotiate a peace treaty between KCP and his haters, and give Kobe some love publicly. I definitely didn’t see this one coming.

Meanwhile, the Clippers are winning across the hallway as well. Does Kawhi have another job? I mean I know millennials usually have a side hustle, and Kawhi is a part-time NBA player at this point, so it would only make sense. I’m thinking the Clipper season ticket holders should be entitled to “load manage” his or her games and inform the team that 10-20 games during the season won’t be paid for so that their finances will be strong come playoff time to handle those jacked up ticket prices. By the way, the Clippers are 8-5 and everybody things everything is chill. If the Lakers were 8-5 people would be calling for Vogel’s job, and be saying Lebron is washed.

That Rams-Bears game was sloppier than happy hour with Lindsay Lohan, but thank god Mitch Trubisky stinks. On one hand, the defense is playing great and it was nice to see Todd Gurley get 25 carries. On the other hand though, Jared Goff isn’t exactly inspiring confidence in anyone right now. Given Goff’s footwork in the pocket the last few weeks, he’s either auditioning for the “Happy Feet Live” production, or to be a part of the next ‘Dancing With The Stars” cast. Either way, it looks like his schedule will be open as of January 4th. Then again, I’m beginning to think the reason why they’ll never win a Super Bowl is because they were once the Cleveland Rams.

Elsewhere around Week 11 in the NFL, Myles Garrett and Happy Gilmore are the first ever athletes to take off their equipment and use it as a weapon. Too bad the Steelers got the worst punishment of anyone when Mason Rudolph wasn’t suspended by the league. Things have gotten so bad for the Redskins that the fans were chanting “sell the team”. Nelson Agholor couldn’t catch a rash at a poison ivy convention. Lamar Jackson is a human video game. Don’t look now but the Raiders are actually in the playoffs, and suddenly trading away Khalil Mack doesn’t look so bad.

USC might go 8-4, end up in the Alamo Bowl, and Clay Helton could still be fired. I realize that everyone wants this man gone, but how fair is everyone being? His team has been decimated by injuries, yet he still hasn’t even entirely been eliminated from Rose Bowl contention. Also, since Trojan fans keep saying all they really care about is winning the Pac-12 and making it to the Rose Bowl, and everything else is gravy think about this: Clay Helton has already won a Rose Bowl. If that’s all you care about, then Helton is your guy. If not, then you’re a bunch of liars. I’m going with liars.

So much for UCLA turning things around. The Bruins got bombed by Utah on Saturday by a score of 49-3. UCLA should never lose to Utah in football, and certainly not in blowout fashion. The Bruins were doing it with smoke and mirrors against a crummy Pac-12 South, but they were finally exposed. Nobody does more with less than this program. In fact, nobody pays more for less than the Bruins, with this ridiculous Chip Kelly contract. It’s been a disaster from the start, and will not end anytime soon.

Elsewhere around college football, don’t let Baylor blowing a 28-3 lead over Oklahoma distract you from the fact that Texas lost to Iowa State. The Atlanta Falcons can’t catch a break. Baylor blows a 28-3 lead, the Falcons were just minding their own business, and the internet ropes them in and makes fun of them for blowing a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl against New England. Notre Dame should not sell out home games every week if plan on blowing out top 25 teams every time. They should also stop raising ticket prices. Has anyone seen images of the new Longhorn Patio they are building in Texas? It looks like a uterus. I guess that makes sense since you can’t spell that without “UT”.

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Congratulations to Cody Bellinger & Mike Trout on winning the NL & AL MVP’s, respectively. These guys both had amazing seasons, and they rightfully earned the awards. For those of you wanting to poke fun at their lack of playoff success, or playoff involvement, lay off. That kind of criticism is only allowed here on Jock Talk LA. In all seriousness though, this isn’t the NBA. A guy can have a great regular season, win the MVP, and it can have nothing to do with the playoffs, or even making it. That’s just the nature of the game. Speaking of the playoffs though, this story about the Astros electronically stealing signs to win the 2017 World Series makes sense. I always knew that Andrew Friedman was so cheap that he wouldn’t even buy the anti-virus software to prevent this from happening.

Finally, a new episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Imagine Michonne coming back to Alexandria: they lose Negan, everybody gets sick, they lose Lydia, and Siddiq gets killed. How the hell are they going to survive without her? How did Lydia not know that Dante was Whisperer? Is Rosita hitting up one of those apocalyptic med spas for some eyebrow waxing? Not sure its possible to look that good given everything going on . If you’re a doctor on this show you are definitely destined to die. Carol is at her scariest when she is offering people food. Now she’s playing the long game because wait until all the Whisperers see that Lydia is actually alive. Heck she might have even let Negan out to infiltrate the Whisperers. Calm down ladies. Daryl’s shirt is going back on in the next episode. Looking forward to the mid-season finale next week!

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Monday Morning Coffee

November 11, 2019

Look guys, the Lakers weren’t going to go 81-1. They were going to lose some games like last night. They need some help with their 3-point shooting. Anthony Davis and Kyle Kuzma shouldn’t be shooting that many either. However, let’s look at the positive. Alex Caruso looks like a 7th grade math teacher, yet every now and again he’ll posterize opponents, not to mention play some solid defense and make plays. I’m also not sure who this impostor is that is wearing a Dwight Howard jersey. Whoever he is, he’s playing amazing defense, buying into his role, and being an excellent teammate. For all the crap I’ve given him, he’s been amazing thus far. As for Anthony Davis, he’s been great too. If he’s really dumb enough to go to Chicago this off-season like he suggested though, then it just goes to show you that basketball players really do need to stay in school. It’s still relatively early, but this team is fun to watch. Now they just have to find a way to beat the Clippers.

Speaking of those Clippers, Doc Rivers is such a buffoon. The man is like a used car salesman. I would never buy what he’s selling, and certainly not that bs he spouted last week on Kawhi Leonard really being injured. We knew all along he wasn’t, even though he fooled the NBA temporarily. I still think it’s stupid for the Clippers to do this whole load management thing for Kawhi, rather than play him fewer minutes. It just might even cost the Clippers some playoff positioning too with the way they are doing it. My favorite part about this team though is that they claim they are just trying to carve out their own identity with fans, and not worry about the Lakers. Except every billboard they create always seems to take a shot at the Lakers and not being second fiddle.

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To the NFL where the Rams suffered a bad loss to the Steelers yesterday. Cooper Kupp and Robert Woods disappeared like Jimmy Hoffa, and the Rams offensive line was so bad, they couldn’t block anybody on social media if they tried. Going into the season with 2 linemen with more than 18 starts under their belts probably wasn’t the best idea, and it’s probably going to cost this team a playoff spot. This was supposed to be the easy part of the Rams schedule. Now they have to play the Bears, Ravens, Cardinals, Seahawks, Cowboys, 49ers, and Cardinals again. Even if they go 4-3 they still might not make the playoffs. That’s how brutal the NFC is. McVay needs to bring back his genius fast or else the Rams will be watching the playoffs from the couch with you and me.

Meanwhile, the Chargers returned to being the Chargers again and lost to the Raiders in Oakland on Thursday night. One team is leaving California and the other team has no fans in California. All we heard coming in was how the Raiders haven’t played a home game in 49 days. That’s funny because the Bolts haven’t played a home game in three years. That one was too easy. But seriously, Philip Rivers looked awful. Then there’s the London rumors that started floating around. I don’t think the Bolts are moving to London, but I do think they will move somewhere else in a few years. It’s already obvious they can’t sell season seats in a brand new stadium, even at discounted rates. Nobody cares about this team in LA, and it’s apparently clear to everybody but the 31 other NFL owners.

In College Football, USC got the win on Saturday vs ASU, but nobody is even talking about that. All anybody cares about is their new Athletic Director Mike Bohn. More specifically, everybody wants to know if he’s going hire Urban Meyer. If you think that Carol Folt or Mike Bohn are going to tell you right now that they are considering Urban Meyer or not, then that kind logic makes you qualified to work in the Trojan Athletic Department. Still, if Folt is going to preach integrity like she is, it’s going to be beyond hypocritical for Meyer to be hired.

Perhaps some of you forgot, but there’s another basketball team in this town not named the Lakers or Clippers. It’s the UCLA Bruins basketball team, and they’ve already played two games. The fact you probably haven’t noticed speaks volumes about how far they have fallen to LA sports irrelevancy. The Bruins are 2-0 with victories over Long Beach and Santa Barbara. However, in both games they needed to rally over opponents with inferior talent. Mick Cronin’s team is looking like a poor mans version of a Ben Howland team. They’ll have some tough tests against #3 Kansas, Notre Dame, and #9 North Carolina in the next couple of weeks.

Finally, another episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Negan just doesn’t seem like a guy who fits in with The Whisperers. I mean they are called “The Whisperers”. Not “The Dudes That Won’t Shut The Hell Up.” Negan interacting with Beta though was pure comedy. Daryl was really giving off some Rick vibes while sitting in that porch chair. Eugene is the kinda dude who would meet somebody over the radio during the apocalypse and get catfished. I refuse to believe that Rosita is going to die because she drank some bad water. I mean of all the things to kill her in the apocalypse, it can’t be water. Carol is up to no good and Daryl knows it. Wouldn’t be shocked if she was the one who let Negan out. Apparently the Walking Dead Comic has ended. That means that the show itself may be closer to an ending than we think. Especially if the ratings keep falling. Still, looking forward to seeing where the last couple of episodes go before the mid-season finale.

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Monday Morning Coffee

November 4, 2019

Do you know what that sound is? It’s the sound of Warriors bandwagon fans running to jump back on the Lakers bandwagon after the last 5 years. It’s been years since the Lakers won a pair of road game like they did this weekend. It felt like a pair of wins filled with championship pedigree. That’s because the team is finally playing great defense and getting critical stops in the 4th quarter, as well as coming up with big plays in the 4th quarter. That’s been missing the last couple of season, but having Lebron James and Anthony Davis helps a tad to solve that problem. Even Smush Parker thinks KCP’s consistency is garbage. Imagine how good the team would be if he was consistent. Give me more Alex Caruso and less KCP, and this team will be even better. Also, for all the crap I have given Dwight Howard over the years, he’s been amazing. Things are looking good, but they need to stay healthy.

Meanwhile, the Clippers are stillwinning as well, but this load management is ridiculous. Doc Rivers said there will be no load management on Kawhi Leonard this season. He’s a liar. 5 games in, Kawhi was already resting. The concept of load management makes little sense too, especially when Kawhi is sitting against elite teams, and when the game might be so lopsided on one night, you might be able to limit his minutes anyway. You know what…..tomorrow I’m going to tell my boss I need to take a day off for “load management” to perform better in 82 days from now. Not for a sick day or vacation day. Just load management. That should go over really well with HR.

Come on Dodger fans be realistic. Stop salivating over free agents that you know Andrew Friedman will never sign. You think Friedman is going to give $200 million to Gerrit Cole? Or Anthony Rendon? Get real. This guy approaches free agency like a guy looking for coupons before shopping at the 99 Cent Store. You can be sure he’s going to look for a couple of terrible relievers with “good spin rate”, trade Corey Seager for pennies on the dollar to avoid paying him, and then tell us how great he feels about his teams chances. The Angels on the other hand will be printing money if necessary to sign Gerrit Cole. Meanwhile, my Dodger self-esteem doesn’t seem to be feeling any better after losing to the eventual World Series Champion for the third straight year.

Did the entire city of Green Bay show up at Dignity Health Sports Park yesterday? It sure felt like it when seeing all the Packer fans fill the seats at the Charger game in Carson. This time though, the Bolts did not find a new ways to embarrass themselves on the field and got a win. It figures right? The Chargers manhandle a good team, but can’t actually win against crummy teams. The Bolts fired their offensive coordinator Ken Whisenhunt earlier in the week, and if I didn’t know better I’d say he was hired by the Packers with the way their offensive played. Why can’t the Chargers be more consistent? Oh they have injuries you say? Well the Patriots, Seahawks, and Ravens all have injuries too, and they are in a playoff
spot at the moment. That’s probably because they don’t give away football games like the way you give away your junk to the Salvation Army come tax time. Can’t say I expect their season to turn around after this win, or their stadium to start having their fans in it either. Here’s a look at all the Packer fans yesterday.

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Elsewhere around Week 9, Christmas came early for everyone after the Ravens ran all over the Patriots and gave them their first loss. After the Dolphins beat the Jets, I’m waiting for Miami to fire coach Brian Flores followed by a statement that says: “Winning is something we simply won’t tolerate around here.” Meanwhile, Jets fans are off to hang themselves. Apparently Minshew Mania doesn’t travel overseas, because the Jaguars got crushed by the Texans in London. The only defense Mitch Trubisky can beat down is the Bears defense. The only difference between Kirk Cousins and Matt Moore is that Cousins is overpaid. I don’t know what happened to OBJ, but the Browns have made him disappear like David Blane. We should just
save everyone time and give the MVP to Christian McCaffrey now. The Redskins are 1-8, haven’t scored a TD in a month, but Daniel Snyder and Bruce Allen are reminding fans to purchase their playoff tickets.

Not much of a feel good weekend for the USC football program and their fans. The Trojans ended up taking a senseless beating from Oregon at the Coliseum. I’m not sure which was worse, the one the Ducks administered, or the one Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart gave the coaching staff at halftime on Fox. Bush and Leinart said the coaches do nothing but put the players in position to fail. They aren’t wrong. It’s going to be tough for Clay Helton to survive after that showing. Then there’s the hiring of Cincinnati AD Mike Bohn. The bad news is he was about their 6th choice. That just goes to show you how bad not only USC is now, but the Pac-12 in general. The good news is that he has no USC ties, so he’s not some Trojan Kool-Aid drinker. He’ll bring fresh thinking. Unfortunately if you’re banking on Urban Meyer coaching this team next year, I doubt it’s going to happen. There’s no way you can preach about a high character program while hiring Meyer. What’s next? Hiring O.J. Simpson as the head of a domestic abuse prevention program?

Look at UCLA football now. Suddenly these jokers are now in 2nd place in the PAC -12 South, and control their own destiny in the division. I’d be shocked if this team actually goes into Utah next week and wins. However, this is the PAC-12 we are talking about. where all the games should really be aired on Comedy Central. Any “good team” finds a way to lose every week.
Nevertheless, I’ve gotta give credit to Dorian Thompson-Robinson, who mightactually be able to play quarterback after-all, and has been improving.

To the NHL, where the LA Kings are just as bad as I suspected. This team has one of the worst defense the league has seen in years, and it’s apparently caused goalie Jonathan Quick to look like the second coming of a traffic cone. It’s depressing when you think about the fact this team still has pieces from their Stanley Cup championship teams earlier in the decade, but just like your Apple IPod, they have become old and outdated. Rebuilding is fine, but the idea of building without thinking about defense and goaltending first is silly. That’s how the Kings did it earlier in the decade, and that’s also how last year’s Stanley Cup Finalists did it. It’s gotten so bad though even Luc Robitaille’s wife won’t go to the games anymore. 

Finally, another episode of The Walking Dead went down on AMC last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if that is the case. I forgot how much I missed Negan until we saw an extended look at him in this episode. I also never thought I would be so excited to see him kill Brandon, who was more annoying than a nagging housewife. I know we’re all cheering for the whole “Caryl” thing to go down, but Connie and Daryl seem like they are really a thing. Ezekiel can’t seem to catch a break. He loses his pet, his Kingdom, his kid, Carol, and now he has cancer. I don’t know about you, but this Magna woman looks amazing and it’s the apocalypse. For those of us who know what happened in the comics, it’s pretty awesome to see Negan finally meeting with the Whisperers. Alpha is getting more and more terrifying by the second, but she needs to die. Looking forward to seeing where this goes!