May 27, 2019

Happy Memorial Day Everyone! This is your weekly reminder that the Lakers’ ownership and front office are still acting like complete idiots and it’s only getting worse by the day. If Magic Johnson loves the Lakers so much, why won’t he shut up and stop talking to the media? He’s doing more damage every time he speaks, but apparently he’s too self-centered and lacks the self-awareness to realize that. I’m not sure why we think Rob Pelinka is capable of pulling off anything this summer since no GM or agent will take his call. Perhaps he can try email? Magic already confirmed our worst fears about him and the entire organization. Then there’s Jeanie Buss, who clearly skipped the first day of business school class at USC where they recommend you don’t stick to business with family and friends. This July is going to be such and disaster and as upset as we’re all going to be watching it, we’re all going to be there when these senseless buffoons get what they deserve. Maybe that will finally humble them enough to get them to look in the mirror and see what they’ve let this become.

I still think Kevin Durant is a lunatic for even considering leaving a historically great team like the Warriors. Who cares what people think? If he wins there his legacy will be great. Nevertheless, you have to give the Clippers credit for suddenly looking competent enough to look like a real contender for his services this summer. I don’t really think this is going to happen, and the narrative is a little bit over the top, but the fact that this is a real discussion just shows you how far the perception of the Clippers has come in a very short period of time. If a Durant or Kawhi Leonard signing were to happen, or even both, it would also further serve the Lakers right for the foolishness of their leadership.

The NBA Finals matchup is set! The Warriors will be taking on the Raptors beginning Thursday. Even though Kawhi Leonard is everything Jon Snow should have been, this series is going to be over faster than Hillary Clinton’s last Presidential campaign. It doesn’t matter if Kevin Durant and DeMarcus Cousins play or not. This shouldn’t take more than five games. Kawhi can’t guard everyone. I don’t care how many massages Drake is going to provide in this series, it’s a foregone conclusion. However, I feel like Drake is going to get so much air time in this series, I’m not going to want to see him for the next year. He’s been acting like an AAU coach.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uj8UG26k0MI

To baseball where the Dodgers probably wish they could play the Pirates every game. They swept them over the weekend, and are 6-0 against them this season. The starting pitching has been on fire, sporting the best ERA in the National League, and the 2nd best in baseball. Interestingly enough, it feels like the LA’s been letting their starters pitch a little longer than the usual hook after the fifth inning. Perhaps that’s because Andrew Friedman’s computer is in the middle of a software upgrade, but nevertheless, their bullpen will be a lot more effective and well rested in the long run by doing that.

Then there’s the Angels, who’s starting pitching has been a pile of garbage. It’s no wonder that Matt Harvey has a back strain. He probably injured it looking back at all those home runs he’s been giving up. The players were also complaining that they had to play 20 straight days in a row. With the way they’ve been playing, their fans are complaining too. After taking two of three against the Rangers, the Angels best hope on the mound is Griffin Canning, or for a weather delay. The odds of winning the Power Ball are higher than Andrew Heaney and Tyler Skaggs staying healthy for a full season. There’s only two teams in baseball with starters that collectively have a worse ERA than the Angels. The division is already lost and it’s starting to feel like the Wild Card is insurmountable. Typical Angels baseball.

The Stanley Cup Final starts tonight! Raise your hand if you predicted Blues vs Bruins. If you’re raising your hand you’re a big fat liar. It just goes to show you that as long as you make the playoffs in the NHL, anything can happen. The Kings reminded us of that back in 2012 when they won the Cup as the 8th seed. However, that parity also means it’s hard to sustain success for very long and stay in contention. In any case, whoever wins it’s going to be an enjoyable Cup Final just knowing that the San Jose Sharks will be sitting on their couches at home watching as well.

Finally, the Bachelorette is back on ABC tonight. While I’m slowly losing interest in this season due to the dull personalities, I did learn a few things in the last episode. Mostly notably Kevin and Cam. I don’t care how mad you get, you never ever…waste chicken nuggets. Luke P says “you can trust me”. That’s like trusting Rob Pelinka to run your basketball franchise.
If all the biggest douche bags from The Bachelor franchise got together and had sex, Luke P would be born. Most people probably stopped watching the show after seeing Cam get a rose anyway. With every episode that goes by, I find Hannah getting not only more dull, but even a tad more obnoxious. We’ll see how much longer this lasts.

May 20, 2019

Relax I’ll get to Thrones. But first, the Lakers received what I like to call “Idiot Welfare” from the NBA last week. You can’t get any luckier than they did, although I guess it’s not luck when the lottery is rigged. However, just when you find out they get the 4th pick and have another great asset, we learned that Gayle Benson will not allow Anthony Davis to be traded to the Lakers “over her dead body”, and that the Lakers doubled down on dumb by leaking that they will not be hiring a new President of Basketball Operations. Magic Johnson went on First Take this morning putting the Lakers on blast, further validating this dysfunction. In other words, you still get the feeling that there is “imminent doom” on the horizon, despite the fact so many great players are available this summer. Sure the Lakers have the assets and the roster flexibility to put together a trio of stars like Lebron-Anthony Davis-Kawhi Leonard. However, it would take smart leadership to actually get that done, which the Lakers clearly don’t have anymore.

It’s hilarious how rigged the NBA lottery has become. It’s no wonder they don’t allow anybody to actually see the ping pong balls drawn. It’s because they don’t actually mean anything. I’m sure it was completely lottery luck that when the Cavaliers lost Lebron James, then ended up with the #1 pick in 2011. Or when the Hornets lost Chris Paul and ended up with the #1 pick in 2012. Or when the Timberwolves lost Kevin Love and ended up with the #1 pick in 2015. Or now that the Pelicans are about to lose AD, they get the #1 pick. At this point if you think it isn’t rigged, then you probably bought a ticket to Fyre Fest and believe every word that comes out of Skip Bayless’ mouth.

The Dodgers took care of business against the Reds over the weekend, getting to see their old friend Yasiel Puig again. I’m not sure why Puig is surprised he was traded for cash considerations. Ownership shipped 70% of its fan base off for cash considerations when they made their current TV deal with Spectrum. Tough situation for the Dodgers when it comes to Julio Urias. Andrew Friedman is probably trying to figure out why his computer can’t come up with an answer on what to do with Urias, who is currently on leave after being arrested last week on suspicion of domestic battery. I’m reserving judgement here until the TMZ video comes out, but these situations are usually pretty damning. If Urias is guilty, he should be punished accordingly, regardless of his talent and what he means to the Dodgers. There is never any excuse for this, but especially in the era we are living in, there is absolutely no excuse for this.

Man the Angels starting pitching is garbage. Trevor Cahill stinks, and Matt Harvey looks is a disaster. I’m beginning to realize they call Harvey “two face” because one day he looks halfway decent and the next start he looks a bigger waste of money than that pile of cash the Joker burned. The real pitchers the Angels need to carry them are Shohei Ohtani, who won’t pitch this year, and Griffin Canning, who is solid but still very young. At this point I think it’s safe to kiss the division goodbye already, but the Halos need to do what they can to stay in the Wild Card race. After the draft, they should be all over Dallas Keuchel on a one year deal, so they don’t give up compensation. I’m sure Keuchel is waiting for his food stamps to come in the mail since he won’t accept a one-year $17 million salary.

Not exactly a riveting first episode of The Bachelorette last week with Hannah starting to send guys home. I know there’s already outrage when she just sent home Matt McDonald, the farmer with two deaf parents. Most of the dudes this season sound like frat guys who are on their 8th beer. Apparently Hannah is into that. Then again John Paul Jones looks like a dude who got a lacrosse scholarship to Yale because his dad was a Sigma Chi legacy that donated $5 million dollars to build a library. If you’re an airline pilot and you’re going on The Bachlorette you need to wear your uniform. Rookie move. Same goes for Luke who didn’t give up his jacket when Hannah was cold. The only thing the world knew about Alabama before last week was “Roll Tide”. Skeptical on this season but we’ll see where it goes.

Finally, let’s get to the series final of Game of Thrones last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. You complainers are so dramatic, pretending like you just wasted 8 years of your life because the ending didn’t go your way. This was one of the best television series of all-time people. I found it devastatingly sad that Daeny was killed, let alone killed by Jon after losing her mind like that. I suppose it had to be done. We cheered for her for 8 years to end up on the throne, and then in a matter of 1.5 episodes it all turned. However, if you thought you were going to get a happy ending with Jon on the throne then you simply don’t get the show. For most of the show it was the bad guys winning, and a lot of you hated it when all the Starks died at the Red Wedding. The Starks came out on top, for the most part, and many of you are still complaining. Jon’s decision was a sacrifice that led to the greater good.I admit that seeing Bran on the throne was like seeing the kid who got an A even though he didn’t do anything during the group project. I’m sad the show is over, I’m sad Daeny ended up turning evil and dying, but the show was amazing. That’s what amazing shows do. They pull you in, make you think they can’t kill certain people or do certain things, then they do to provide you with shock value. If you don’t like it, then go back to watching trash reality TV.

May 13, 2019

If you’re a Laker fan you should be livid. Jeanie Buss seems determined to not only embarrass the franchise a little more everyday, but also set women back in sports another 20 years. Her latest debacle is relying on the “front office expertise” of Phil Jackson and Kurt Rambis, and deciding to hire Frank Vogel as coach. If Jeanie is taking basketball operations advice from those two, she’s probably also using Bernie Madoff as her financial advisor. I like how Jason Kidd’s history of domestic violence does not make him a worthy head coaching hire, but a perfectly acceptable lead assistant. Nice logic Jeanie. This is only going to get worse and when the Lakers fail in free agency, Lebron is going to demand a trade. In the meantime, Lebron is probably having Nike design him some special sneakers to walk all over Vogel, who is just an average coach for what is turning into a below average franchise.

Some of you have the memory of a five year old. The Golden State Warriors lost Kevin Durant for a couple of games and you suddenly thought that made them a lottery team. Yes, Charles Barkley, I’m talking to you. Nobody seems to remember that the core of this team won 73 games three years ago, and also won an NBA Championship. Meanwhile, the Rockets are looking for a receipt on that Chris Paul purchase. Kyrie Irving is already playing like he’s on the Knicks. The Blazers celebrated yesterday’s game 7 win until they realized they have to play the Warriors. Kawhi Leonard is a beast, and I think his buzzer-beater yesterday keeps him in Toronto next season.

To baseball where the Dodgers have the best record in the National League, but not even the dudes that bought tickets to Fyre Fest wouldn’t believe they are good enough to win the World Series. Matt Kemp is available and before you shut the idea down, he’d actually be a great asset. The Dodgers still stink against left-handed pitching and Kemp can help that, especially with AJ Pollock out with an elbow injury. Kemp was not only an All-Star last year, but even when people wrote him off for his decline in the 2nd half, he was still very productive when he wasn’t playing everyday. That’s because he loves being a Dodger, and that additional productivity won’t come from him playing anywhere else. Meanwhile, Hyun-Jin Ryu is doing his best Sandy Koufax impersonation. For all the talk about Clayton Kershaw and Walker Beuhler, Ryu is easily the Dodgers’ best pitcher at the moment. If only Kenley Jansen would start impersonating himself again things would be even better.

Then there’s the Angels. Things have gotten a little better on the field for the Halos, getting healthier, swinging the bats, and winning 4 of their last 6. However, they really need the Astros to move to the Japanese league, because the Halos are 6.5 games back in the AL West. To make matters worse, the top two starters, Matt Harvey and Trevor Cahill, are both sporting ERA’s over 6. I’ve seen better pitching from Lavar Ball in business meetings. If the Angels ever want to get serious about winning again they’ll need to actually develop this part of their farm system, but that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen anytime soon.

It’s May. We’re past the NFL draft. We’re past the majority of free agency, but Ndamukong Suh is still unsigned. The Rams need to re-visit getting him back on the roster. It’s clear nobody is going to pay him the $14 million he made last year, and you can never have enough good defensive lineman. Suh finally got away from the dirty play we’ve seen throughout his career last season, and played very well in the playoffs. If not, sooner than later they could end up lining up against him in the NFC Championship game vs the Saints. After all, nobody can say no to those beignets.

I don’t know if I can do it guys. This may be the season of The Bachelorette I can’t stomach. Hannah Brown? I’ve stared at a pile of paint chips that were more interesting than her. Something tells me it won’t matter though. People will watch, listen to podcasts on it, complain bitterly from the start of the season to the end, then watch it again next season.

I know I’m really late to the party on this, but I finally got around to watching the “Leaving Neverland” documentary on HBO over the weekend. This was four brutal hours of television. I found myself interested, yet very queasy listening to the horrific detail of what Michael Jackson did to these men when they were young boys. I’d like to think that could not happen as easily today, with parents far more aware of child abductions, molestation, and even sex trafficking. However, even with a celebrity such as Michael Jackson, or any adult, when in the hell would it actually be appropriate for a parent to allow their child to sleep in the same bed as them? One thing is for sure. You’ll never think of Michael Jackson the same way after watching it.

Finally, a huge episode of Game of Thrones went down on HBO last night. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Imagine what Daeny would have done if she still had 3 dragons? This is what happens when you can’t bang your nephew. Innocent people die. At least Varys died doing what he loved: snitching. Had you known this episode was coming a couple of seasons ago, you probably would have screamed for joy. However, Daeny’s ruthless destroying of Kings Landing left me unsatisfied, and even feeling sympathy for a lot of people. I even felt sympathy for Cersei and Jamie, and even though they died together, the death was unsatisfying since it was just a ceiling that collapsed on them. It was great we got to see the Mountain vs The Hound, but Arya’s story wasn’t very well put together. It was coming together once she killed the Night King, but after she decided to call off her revenge tour, stumbling around Kings Landing was a senseless look. It was a good episode, but I can’t help but feel they are rushing the ending. At least we didn’t see any Starbucks cups or airplanes. I’m looking forward to the ending, and think we’re in for another curve ball next week.

May 6, 2019

It’s cute that the Lakers are dragging their feet on this whole coaching search when they are just going to give the job to Tyronn Lue in the next couple of days. I like how they are pretending like they are going through some real process when they really aren’t. There’s no process when you don’t hire a President of Basketball Operations after yours quits on TV before he actually tells you. Even dumber is this rumor that the Lakers are operating with some sort of “shadow boss” advising them, who will be taking over the team soon. This has to be a leak from the Lakers to make it seem like Jeanie Buss knows what she’s doing. However, even if this rumor were true, the so called “shadow boss” must be advising Jeanie to look like an idiot and not even interview for President of Basketball Operations.

I admit there’s been some amazing 2nd round games to watch in the NBA Playoffs, but let’s be honest, you’re just fooling yourself if you think Golden State isn’t going to win another title this year. It took overtime, two blown layups from Steph, and James Harden going crazy just for the Rockets to win a game. Harden apparently thinks he’s fouled on every play. Meanwhile, the Nuggets and Blazers took so long to finish game 3, the winner should have been rewarded with taking game 4 off. The most riveting thing about the 76ers and Raptors is that whoever loses is likely to lose their star free agents. Despite yesterday’s win, it’s also a good bet these days for Canada to end up losing at anything, so look for that to happen in the next few days. Marcus Smart was upgraded to questionable for the Celtics, but their playoff chances have been downgraded to “doubtful” vs the Bucks.

I’m sure the Padres wish Manny Machado would play against the Dodgers every game. Machado was hitting a mere .240 going into the series against his former team over the weekend, before going off against them with a couple of homers. I guess $300 million doesn’t buy what it used to. I’d pay $300 million just to get somebody other than Andrew Friedman to run the Dodgers. In typical Dodger fashion, they are in 1st place with their “prized” free agent acquisition, AJ Pollock out indefinitely, and Joe Kelly’s velocity disappearing like Lebron James’ hairline. The Dodgers are once again benefiting from a weak division, and a bunch of dudes that Friedman had no part in actually acquiring for the most part. It doesn’t matter how much money you give Friedman to spend, he’ll find a way to spend it in the most inefficient ways.

Then there’s the Angels, who went all the way to Mexico to get bombed by the Astros over the weekend. At least if Trump builds that wall, it will prevent Trevor Cahill, Peter Bourjos, Kole Calhoun, and all these other scrubs from coming back to Anaheim. Halos Skipper Brad Ausmus says “environmental factors played into it”, when consdering that Cahill has given up 12 home runs. Actually, I’m pretty sure whatever environment you play in, half the team still plays like scrubs. I’ve been hearing a lot about an improving Angels’ farm system, but I have yet to see anything promising yet. There’s not much to be excited for this season, other than the fact you know Mike Trout isn’t going anywhere.

What a shocker at the Kentucky Derby on Saturday! Maximum Security crossed the finished line 1st, but was disqualified for impeding other horses. Country House, a 64-1 long shot, was declared the winner. On the bright side for Maximum Security, he won’t have to go to the White House and eat crappy fast food. I’m surprised he wasn’t disqualified for fouling James Harden on a 3-point shot, since you can even do that by breathing on him.

In College Football, an interesting comment was made by Reggie Bush last week regarding Urban Meyer that caught the attention of Trojan fans. Bush said that he and Matt Leinart are going to be actively recruiting Meyer to be the Trojans next coach when they all work together on Fox Television’s College Football broadcast in the fall. That comment just goes to show you what alums and former USC players think of Clay Helton. It’s like being married and openly pursuing other women. Even funnier was Urban Meyer’s response, which was that he thinks he’s done, and he’s enjoying what he’s doing now. That’s hilarious because he hasn’t even started doing whatever he’s doing because he just retired. Urban Meyer is a bigger liar than any politician out there. I guess that makes him a perfect culture fit for USC one day. However, the Trojans certainly won’t suck anymore with him as their coach.

Finally, another intense episode of Game of Thrones went down last night on HBO and it had a shocking ending. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it so read no further if you plan on watching it later. Ugh how could you be so stupid Daeny? This episode just had the feel of many other episodes throughout the entire series of feeling like imminent doom was coming to our favorite characters. Sansa only said to wait on battling Cersei, but Daeny lost a dragon, a whole bunch of her fleet, while Missandei was captured and killed. Also, how did she and her two Dragons miss Euron Greyjoy’s fleet from that high above? Get your head in the game! Euron Greyjoy is like the 99 cent store version of Jack Sparrow. I wanted Cersei and Daeny to throw hands. Instead, they had their Hands talk it out. Not exactly what I had in mind. I like how how Ned Stark kept a secret about Jon Snow for 20 years, and 20 seconds after finding out, Sansa is announcing it like breaking Fox News. Jamie flip flips allegiances more than Drake. This is going to end with a decision from Jamie on what to do with Cersei. You know she’s not going to go down easy. She never does. It’s going to be a spectacular and edge of your seat final two episodes.