September 28, 2026

Blown leads, blown seasons, blown franchises…and somehow UCLA is the stable organization in town.

Good morning, Southern California.

Pour yourself a cup of coffee, grab something stronger if you’re a Chargers fan, and if you’re a Clippers fan, maybe just go back to bed.

It was quite a weekend.

The Rams blew a 16-point lead. The Chargers fell to 0-3. USC reminded everyone that tackling remains an elective course at the university. UCLA won by 51 points. The Dodgers won 100 games, which historically is apparently their preferred method of terrifying their own fan base. The Angels lost 100 games, which is much more on brand.

And Kawhi Leonard somehow managed to leave Los Angeles, get $115 million from Toronto and still make Clippers fans angry from another country.

Let’s have some coffee.

THE RAMS: ROBBED…BUT ALSO MAYBE DON’T BLOW A 16-0 LEAD

Yes, the Rams got hosed.

There should have been a defensive pass-interference call at the end of Sunday night’s 30-26 loss in Denver. Instead, the officials apparently decided that the final two minutes of an NFL game are governed by rules normally reserved for a prison yard.

But here’s the problem with blaming the officials:

You were winning 16-0.

At halftime.

If you blow a 16-point lead and allow 30 second-half points, complaining about one missed call is a little like blaming the valet because your restaurant went bankrupt. (The Sporting Tribune⁠)

The Rams clearly missed Puka Nacua and Myles Garrett. Without Puka, the offense loses a completely different dimension. Without Garrett, the defense loses the guy capable of ruining an opposing quarterback’s evening by himself. (Yahoo Sports⁠)

And Aaron Donald?

He’s still Aaron Donald.

He’s just not yet AARON DONALD.

Which is understandable. The guy came back after significant time away. Expecting vintage AD immediately is like pulling Michael Jordan out of retirement and getting upset because he doesn’t score 50 in the first quarter.

Give him time.

Unfortunately, time is one thing the Rams don’t have much of.

Philadelphia and Buffalo are coming.

So congratulations on surviving Denver. Your reward is basically the football equivalent of completing a root canal and being informed your colonoscopy starts in 20 minutes.

At 1-2, there’s no reason to panic.

But perhaps locate the panic button and make sure the batteries work.

THE CHARGERS: JUST WHEN, BABY?

Meanwhile, the Chargers are 0-3.

0-3.

They forced five Buffalo turnovers Sunday…and still lost 24-16.

Do you realize how difficult that is?

According to the Los Angeles Times, NFL teams since 2013 that finished a game with five-plus takeaways and a turnover margin of at least plus-four were 3-81-1 entering Sunday.

The Chargers became loss No. 81.

That might be the most Chargers statistic ever recorded. (Los Angeles Times⁠)

At some point you have to admire the consistency.

New coaches. New coordinators. New players. Same experience.

The Chargers are basically the Law & Order of NFL disappointment. Different cast, same plot every week.

Naturally, the Jim Harbaugh questions are coming.

The Justin Herbert questions are coming.

And I’m not ready to run either guy out of town.

But 0-3 is 0-3, and the schedule ahead includes Seattle, Denver, Kansas City, the Rams, Houston and Baltimore. (Los Angeles Times⁠)

So finishing third in the AFC West might soon qualify as an aspirational goal.

Harbaugh said afterward that losing was “painful.”

Chargers fans everywhere responded:

First time?

USC: SAME MOVIE, BIGGER BUDGET

That was a game USC had to win.

They didn’t.

Oregon beat them 41-27 at the Coliseum, scoring 14 unanswered points late and reminding Trojan fans that whenever they begin feeling optimistic, USC football is legally required to intervene. (247Sports⁠)

Gary Patterson was supposed to fix the defense.

So far, the defense looks less like Gary Patterson and more like Gary Busey.

When the game was on the line, Oregon moved the football. USC couldn’t answer. And the Trojans now sit at 4-1 and No. 18 with the difficult portion of the schedule still ahead.

Then there was the Desman Stephens incident.

Stephens was ejected for targeting after the late hit that concussed Oregon quarterback Dante Moore, then drew even more criticism for his reaction afterward. USC subsequently suspended Stephens for the Washington game; Stephens apologized, saying his reaction was “completely inappropriate and inexcusable.” (ABC News⁠)

And that matters because USC already has a discipline perception problem.

You can’t spend years looking undisciplined and then respond to an injured opponent like you just recovered a fumble.

As for Lincoln Riley?

You can already hear it coming.

If USC finishes 8-4 and misses the playoff, there will be Trojan fans demanding Riley be fired approximately 11 seconds after the final whistle.

And honestly, 8-4 feels increasingly plausible.

Which at USC is basically the football equivalent of being given a C-minus after your parents donated the science building.

UCLA: WAIT…ARE THE BRUINS ACTUALLY FUN?

UCLA beat Maryland 54-3.

I’m sorry.

Let me type that again because I enjoyed it.

UCLA 54, Maryland 3.

The Bruins are 4-0. They’re ranked No. 23. They rushed for 266 yards, intercepted Maryland four times and returned two of them for touchdowns. They’ve now scored 50-plus points in consecutive games for the first time since 1993. (UCLA Bruins⁠)

What exactly is happening here?

Bob Chesney has UCLA playing competent, aggressive, entertaining football.

At UCLA.

This is like walking into a DMV and discovering bottle service.

I’m still not ready to call this a playoff team. There’s a long way to go, and after the bye the Bruins go to Oregon on Oct. 10. (UCLA Bruins⁠)

That’s different.

Oregon with a backup quarterback is still Oregon.

Autzen Stadium is still Autzen Stadium.

But UCLA suddenly looks like a team that belongs in these games instead of one hoping the opponent’s bus gets lost.

And maybe the most encouraging part?

The future actually feels bright.

Imagine saying that about UCLA football six months ago without immediately being tested for narcotics.

THE DODGERS: 100 WINS — WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

The Dodgers won 100 games.

Great!

Everyone celebrate!

Actually, wait.

This is the Dodgers.

Maybe everyone remain perfectly still.

The Dodgers have earned the No. 2 seed and a first-round bye, and they’ll face either Philadelphia or Atlanta in the NLDS. (MLB.com⁠)

Neither option sounds particularly relaxing.

Atlanta is excellent but banged up.

Philadelphia is inconsistent but talented enough that you’d rather somebody else discover which version shows up.

The pitching should be there.

The question, as always, is the offense.

It sounds ridiculous to worry about an offense with this much talent, but the Dodgers can become incredibly dependent on home runs. And now they get several days off before playing meaningful baseball again.

Which means Dodgers fans will spend the bye doing what Dodgers fans do best:

Turning a 100-win season into an anxiety disorder.

If Shohei Ohtani and company are hitting, nobody wants to see this team.

If they aren’t?

Get ready for 47 runners left on base, nine fly balls to the warning track and Dave Roberts explaining after Game 4 that he “liked the process.”

October has arrived.

Blood pressure medication is available at CVS.

THE ANGELS: THEY CAN’T HURT US ANYMORE

The Angels season is over.

That’s the good news.

The bad news is everything that happened before that.

The Angels finished with 100 losses for the first time in franchise history. (MLB.com⁠)

Congratulations, everybody.

History!

On the bright side, Mike Trout played his most games since 2016. At this point, an Angels season in which Trout remains mostly healthy qualifies as the franchise’s equivalent of winning the pennant. (MLB.com⁠)

Now comes the important part.

When Stan Kroenke’s purchase closes — expected in the first quarter of 2027, pending MLB approval — blow it up. (FOX Sports⁠)

The roster.

The organization.

The infrastructure.

The stadium.

The nacho cheese dispenser.

Everything.

Keep Trout if he wants to be part of it, keep the young players worth developing and start building a modern Major League Baseball organization from scratch.

Kroenke reportedly agreed to pay $4 billion for the franchise. (CBS Sports⁠)

Which sounds insane until you remember Southern California real estate prices.

He basically bought 26 acres in Anaheim and Mike Trout came with it.

THE LAKERS: STAY IN SCHOOL, MARCUS

NBA media week gave us one of my favorite quotes of the offseason.

Marcus Smart says he felt “disrespected” by the Lakers’ contract offer.

So naturally he responded by…

taking less money to play for Houston.

Outstanding.

The Lakers reportedly offered Smart more, but he preferred Houston for several reasons, including contract structure, family connections in Texas and his relationship with Ime Udoka. (Yahoo Sports⁠)

Fine.

All perfectly legitimate reasons.

But if your argument is, “Your financial offer insulted me, therefore I accepted a smaller financial offer,” you have officially turned contract negotiations into a standardized-test question.

Stay in school, kids.

As for the actual Lakers, people are trashing the roster.

I’m not.

JJ Redick believes the pieces fit together better than they have in recent seasons, and I agree.

Fit matters.

Basketball isn’t fantasy basketball. You don’t simply collect the 15 highest-rated players on NBA 2K and assume somebody will figure out who guards anybody.

And finally, something much more important.

Longtime Lakers public-address announcer Lawrence Tanter died last week at 76.

Tanter was the Lakers’ PA voice for 43 seasons, beginning in 1982, and called games during 10 Lakers championships. (NBA⁠)

For generations of Lakers fans, his voice wasn’t simply part of going to a game.

It was going to a Lakers game.

Smooth. Distinctive. Understated. Iconic.

My deepest condolences to his family and everyone in the Lakers organization.

Lakers games simply will not sound the same without him.

THE CLIPPERS: THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE, KAWHI

And then there’s Kawhi Leonard.

The Clippers traded Kawhi back to Toronto.

Then Toronto gave him a two-year extension worth up to $115 million. (NBA⁠)

Of course they did.

Kawhi’s six-year Clippers experience really was remarkable.

The Clippers detonated their future to build the team around him, including the Paul George trade.

He spent significant stretches unavailable.

The championship never arrived.

Then the NBA investigated improper compensation connected to Leonard’s Clippers deal and hammered the organization with a $30 million fine, five forfeited first-round picks and multiple suspensions. Leonard himself was fined $700,000. (Reuters⁠)

Then Kawhi left.

And immediately got another $115 million.

That is not an NBA career.

That is an Ocean’s Eleven sequel.

Kawhi walked into Los Angeles in 2019, watched the Clippers mortgage their future, never reached the Finals, left behind an NCAA-style sanctions package and then returned to Toronto.

Thank you for your service, Mr. Leonard.

Your jersey retirement ceremony will be held at the nearest IRS office.

THE KINGS: 2014 CALLED. IT WANTS ITS ROSTER BACK.

And finally, hockey is back.

The Kings begin the regular season Wednesday against Colorado in Denver. (Los Angeles Times⁠)

New coach.

New system.

New season.

Naturally, the organization decided the best way to symbolize this fresh beginning was to make 36-year-old Drew Doughty captain.

Because nothing says new era quite like 2012.

Look, Doughty is one of the greatest Kings ever.

That is not debatable.

Two Stanley Cups. Franchise records all over the place. Nearly two decades in one sweater. He deserves a statue someday.

But honoring the past and building the future are two different things.

The Kings haven’t won a playoff series since 2014. (Los Angeles Times⁠)

At some point, 2014 has to stop being the organizational North Star.

There are also rumors of another extension for Doughty. Until something is actually signed, fine, they’re rumors.

But the larger concern remains.

This organization desperately needs its younger core to establish ownership of the room. It needs accountability. It needs discipline. It needs a new identity.

Instead, Luc Robitaille and Ken Holland occasionally give the impression that if they stare at the 2014 Stanley Cup banner long enough, Anze Kopitar will become 26 again and Jonathan Quick will come walking through the tunnel.

He isn’t.

Neither is Dustin Brown.

Neither is Justin Williams.

It’s 2026.

The Kings have some talented young players, Adrian Kempe in his prime, Artemi Panarin, a new coach and an opportunity to build something different.

Let them.

Because nostalgia is wonderful.

It belongs in the rafters.

Not in the organizational blueprint.

LAST CALL

So where does that leave Southern California sports on this Monday morning?

The Rams are 1-2 but salvageable.

The Chargers are 0-3 and rapidly approaching a wellness check.

USC is 4-1 and somehow already feels disappointing.

UCLA is 4-0 and somehow appears to be the most emotionally stable football program in Los Angeles.

The Dodgers won 100 games, so naturally their fans are terrified.

The Angels lost 100 games, so naturally their fans are optimistic.

The Lakers think their roster finally fits.

The Clippers are rebuilding after Kawhi Leonard apparently completed the most expensive hit-and-run in NBA history.

And the Kings are beginning a new era by handing the captaincy to a guy who was drafted when George W. Bush was president.

Everything is normal.

See you next Monday.

I’ll bring the coffee.

Southern California sports will provide the trauma.

September 21, 2026

Good morning, Southern California.

Pour yourself a cup of coffee, find something stronger if you’re a Chargers fan, and welcome to another edition of Monday Morning Coffee, where football season is two weeks old and somehow we already have one NFL team in crisis, another resurrecting a future Hall of Famer, USC trying to win games without playing defense, UCLA turning Newman from Seinfeld into Barry Sanders, and the Angels desperately trying to avoid making history for all the wrong reasons.

So basically, everything is normal.

CHARGERS: OH NO. THEY’RE BACK.

I don’t want to overreact after two games.

Actually, screw that.

What the hell was that?

The Chargers are 0-2 after losing two very winnable games at home, including Sunday’s 26-14 disaster against the Raiders. They also lost the opener to Arizona by the exact same 26-14 score, which is almost impressive.

It’s like they found a new way to Chargers while simultaneously honoring the old way of Chargering.

Six fumbles. Interceptions. Penalties. A botched third-and-inches snap that hit a receiver in motion. A late fumble. A safety.

And, of course, a fourth-quarter collapse.

You could have put Brandon Staley on the sideline wearing a Jim Harbaugh Halloween mask and I wouldn’t have noticed the difference.

That’s the concerning part.

The whole point of hiring Harbaugh was that this crap was supposed to stop. The Chargers were supposed to become tougher, smarter and more disciplined. They were supposed to become the team that watches somebody else melt down in the fourth quarter.

Instead, we’re two weeks into the season and Harbaugh is 0-2 for the first time in his NFL or college head-coaching career.

And now the schedule gets nasty: Buffalo, Seattle, Denver, Kansas City and the Rams are coming.

Those first two home games were the appetizers.

The Chargers threw them both on the floor.

Justin Herbert will get blamed because quarterbacks always do, but he’s hardly the fundamental problem here. When your team is fumbling six times, committing backbreaking penalties and repeatedly sabotaging itself, Patrick Mahomes isn’t fixing that with a few better throws.

This feels disturbingly familiar.

The Chargers spent years turning fourth quarters into an escape room where nobody could find the key.

Harbaugh was supposed to bulldoze the room.

Right now he’s locked inside it with everybody else.

RAMS: WELCOME BACK, 99

Meanwhile, the Rams get their opportunity Monday night to even their record at 1-1 against the Giants.

And it sounds like Aaron Donald is back.

Donald says he expects to play in the home opener, which is still one of the strangest sentences I’ve written in years.

Aaron Donald retired.

Aaron Donald became a legend.

Aaron Donald presumably spent some time enjoying life without having three 330-pound men trying to crush him every Sunday.

And now Aaron Donald is apparently like, You know what? This retirement thing is boring. Where’s my helmet?

At this point, the Rams don’t need vintage 2018 Aaron Donald. They need him to be an insurance policy while Myles Garrett works his way back.

If Donald can give them 25 or 30 useful snaps, command some double teams, disrupt the interior and occasionally remind an offensive lineman why he retired in the first place, that’s plenty.

The bigger immediate question may be Puka Nacua, who is questionable with a hip injury after missing practice.

That’s not ideal.

Still, the Rams can beat the Giants.

And frankly, they should beat the Giants.

Get to 1-1, survive this stretch without Garrett, figure out exactly what Donald still has in the tank and move forward.

If Aaron Donald comes flying through the middle of the Giants’ offensive line tonight and destroys somebody, I’m going to assume he spent retirement lifting refrigerators.

USC: 4-0 HAS NEVER FELT SO TERRIFYING

USC is 4-0.

USC is ranked No. 12.

USC just won its Big Ten opener 42-35 on the road.

And USC fans should feel absolutely fantastic.

Except for one minor detail:

Their defense just gave up 460 yards to Rutgers.

Winless Rutgers.

The Scarlet Knights passed for 292 yards, rushed for 168 and had 10 explosive plays against USC. Even Lincoln Riley said afterward that he was “not pleased at all” with the defensive performance.

No kidding.

Rutgers looked like 2019 LSU for stretches.

And now USC gets Oregon.

Then, looking farther down the schedule, there are teams like Penn State, Indiana and Ohio State waiting.

So here’s the obvious question:

If Rutgers can put up 460 yards, what are those teams going to do?

Because eventually Prophet Brown isn’t going to be standing at the goal line waiting to take an interception 99 yards in the other direction. Eventually those mistakes become touchdowns.

The offense is good enough to keep USC in a lot of games.

But this has the unmistakable smell of another season where we spend Saturday afternoons saying, “Well, if the defense can just get ONE STOP…”

That movie has had four sequels already.

At this point, 8-4 doesn’t feel remotely impossible.

And if that’s where this winds up, the Lincoln Riley conversation is going to get very uncomfortable again.

UCLA: HELLO, NEWMAN

Now to the Bruins.

UCLA beat Purdue 52-38.

They piled up 645 total yards.

They rushed for 369 yards.

And a running back named Wayne Knight ran for 177 yards and two touchdowns.

Excuse me?

Wayne Knight?

I had no idea Newman could move like that.

Apparently after years of being terrorized by Jerry Seinfeld, the man finally found an offensive line.

NEWMAN!

All joking aside, UCLA football feels different under Bob Chesney.

There’s energy. There’s enthusiasm. The offense is explosive. The Bruins are 3-0, which already matches their win total from last season.

And after years of watching Chip Kelly roam the sideline looking like he’d rather be literally anywhere else on Earth, it’s refreshing to watch a UCLA team that appears to have a pulse.

But let’s not start printing College Football Playoff tickets.

Purdue also put up 488 yards.

That’s a problem.

And UCLA absolutely cannot allow Nico Iamaleava to keep getting hit the way he has been. The entire ceiling of this season changes if Nico isn’t healthy.

Still, Bruins fans should enjoy this.

There’s life in the Rose Bowl again.

There’s optimism.

There’s an identity.

And Newman is apparently averaging 6.4 yards per carry.

Maybe George Costanza can play linebacker.

DODGERS: JUST GET EVERYBODY TO OCTOBER ALIVE

We’ve reached the final week of the baseball season, and the Dodgers are 96-60 and already NL West champions.

At this point, regular-season wins are nice.

Health is everything.

Mookie Betts is rolling. Teoscar Hernández is producing. Will Smith is dangerous. Kyle Tucker has added another ridiculous bat to a lineup that already looked like somebody turned off the salary cap in a video game.

And Josue De Paula?

How do you leave this kid off the postseason roster?

De Paula arrived from Double-A and immediately injected some life into the club. There’s something to be said for youthful energy in October — especially when everybody else has played six months of baseball and looks like they need a massage, a nap and three Advil.

But none of that is the real story.

The real story is Shohei Ohtani and Freddie Freeman.

Ohtani is on the injured list, and Freeman has also been dealing with health issues.

Forget September.

Forget individual milestones.

Forget squeezing another meaningless at-bat out of anybody.

The Dodgers need those two guys as close to 100 percent as humanly possible when October starts.

And that’s what makes evaluating this team so difficult right now.

Ask me today what the Dodgers’ postseason lineup looks like and I’ll give you an answer.

Ask me again in 10 days and it could be completely different.

October baseball isn’t going to be decided by how intimidating the Dodgers’ roster looks on paper.

It’s going to be decided by which version of that roster actually walks onto the field.

ANGELS: SIX GAMES FROM HISTORY

And finally, your Los Angeles Angels.

They are 60-96.

They have six games remaining.

They need to go at least 3-3 to avoid the first 100-loss season in franchise history.

So…good luck with that.

At least there is finally legitimate reason for hope beyond “maybe Arte Moreno will accidentally sell the team someday.”

Because he did.

Stan Kroenke’s purchase is expected to become official in the first quarter of 2027, assuming the sale receives MLB approval.

But Angels fans need to be realistic.

The Kroenke Effect probably isn’t arriving overnight.

This isn’t a team that needs one starting pitcher and a left-handed bat.

This organization needs infrastructure. Development. Scouting. Pitching depth. Organizational depth. Probably major improvements to the stadium situation. And about 47 other things.

I’d give it two years before we really begin judging what Kroenke is building.

And I would seriously consider doing something Angels fans probably don’t want to hear:

Listen on everybody.

Reid Detmers just reached 200 strikeouts this season. If another organization wants to pay a premium for him, listen.

And yes — even Mike Trout.

I love Trout.

He is one of the greatest players in baseball history, and the fact that the Angels managed to employ Mike Trout and Shohei Ohtani simultaneously without winning a playoff game should eventually be studied by congressional investigators.

But sentimentality cannot be the rebuilding plan.

If somebody offers legitimate young talent for Trout and Trout wants the opportunity to play meaningful October baseball somewhere else, Kroenke’s baseball people should at least have the conversation.

Because the goal shouldn’t be getting the Angels from 60 wins to 75.

It should be rebuilding the entire organization so that someday the Angels enter September and the number 100 represents how many games they might win instead of how many they’re desperately trying not to lose.

Bad Flights, Bad Defenses, Christmas in Los Angeles, and the Clippers Finally Get Their Bill

Pour yourself a cup. Make it strong.

Because if you’re Sean McVay, Jim Harbaugh, or Steve Ballmer, you might want to skip the coffee entirely and go directly to something considerably stronger.

We’re barely into the season and Los Angeles sports already has panic, optimism, scandal, firings, injured superstars and two separate fan bases celebrating Christmas in September.

So basically, everything is normal.

RAMS: MAYBE NEXT TIME JUST TAKE THE BOAT

I don’t want to get off on a rant here, but Sean McVay made the worst decision involving a flight to the South Pacific since Amelia Earhart.

Too soon?

Probably.

But so was whatever McVay was thinking.

The Rams have stumbled out of the gate, and now Myles Garrett is headed for knee surgery, which is generally not one of the ingredients listed in the recipe for a Super Bowl run.

Naturally, everyone is going to lose their minds.

McVay has suddenly forgotten how to coach. The roster is overrated. The season is over. SoFi Stadium should be converted into affordable housing.

Relax.

We’ve watched McVay teams look strangely disjointed early in seasons before, only to figure things out once the calendar turns. There is way too much talent here and way too good a coaching staff to declare the season dead in September.

But here’s the deal: until the Rams start winning, they deserve the criticism.

You make a questionable decision, lose games and then lose Myles Garrett to surgery, people are going to talk crap.

That’s how this works.

The good news?

It’s September.

The bad news?

It’s September and we’re already saying, “The good news is it’s September.”

CHARGERS: I’VE SEEN THIS MOVIE BEFORE

What a disaster.

The Chargers can’t stop the run. Their coverage is softer than the pillows at the Four Seasons. And somehow Justin Herbert is once again standing in the middle of the crime scene while everyone asks whether he did it.

Now we’re hearing Herbert is overrated.

Please.

Justin Herbert isn’t the problem.

He’s been asked to carry variations of this franchise on his back for years while the Chargers continually discover innovative new ways to waste his prime.

Bad defense. Injuries. Questionable protection. Strange coaching decisions. Fourth-quarter collapses.

Change the coach. Change the coordinator. Change the uniforms. Change the parking lot.

Somehow we keep arriving at the same place.

And that’s what makes this particularly frustrating. This isn’t some young quarterback trying to figure things out. Herbert has already demonstrated he can play at an elite level.

How about giving the guy a defense that doesn’t treat opposing running backs like they’re participating in TSA PreCheck?

Until the Chargers can stop the run and challenge receivers without giving them a 12-yard personal-space bubble, debating Herbert’s place among NFL quarterbacks is rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.

And knowing the Chargers, the deck chairs would probably pull a hamstring.

DODGERS: EVERYBODY INTO THE BUBBLE WRAP

Rough weekend in Florida.

But at this point, I’m considerably less interested in September wins than I am in making sure everyone important arrives in October with all necessary limbs attached.

Shutting down Shohei Ohtani for some rest was absolutely the correct move.

And if Freddie Freeman is hurting?

Sit him too.

Wrap him in bubble wrap. Put him in a cryogenic chamber. Send him to Palm Springs for a week. I don’t care.

The Dodgers don’t need September Freeman.

They need October Freeman.

I’m also not particularly concerned about Tyler Glasnow having a couple of rough starts. Starting pitching has ups and downs. Glasnow’s stuff isn’t suddenly gone because he had a bad weekend.

The bullpen?

That concerns me.

Because October baseball eventually comes down to this: It’s the seventh inning, you’re leading 4-3, there are runners on first and second, and Dave Roberts has to pick up the phone.

Who exactly are we excited to see jogging in?

And please don’t say Edwin Diaz.

Diaz’s rehab assignment in Oklahoma City currently looks less like rehabilitation and more like a hostage situation.

The Dodgers have enough starting pitching. They have enough offense. They have enough stars.

What they need to figure out over the next few weeks is who can get six outs late in a playoff game without causing 50,000 people at Dodger Stadium to simultaneously reach for blood-pressure medication. In the meantime, Josue De Paula looks great, and should be given every opportunity over the next couple of weeks to earn a postseason roster spot.

ANGELS: STAN KROENKE BOUGHT THE TEAM. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.

The Angels stink.

There. We’ve completed our weekly Angels analysis.

Now onto the important part:

STAN KROENKE BOUGHT THE ANGELS.

Christmas came early in Anaheim.

Actually, forget Christmas. This is Christmas, Hanukkah, your birthday and finding $500 in an old jacket simultaneously.

For years Angels fans weren’t asking for championships.

They were asking for evidence that somebody running the organization had seen how a modern professional sports franchise operates.

Now they have Kroenke.

Does money automatically guarantee championships? Of course not.

But infrastructure matters. Scouting matters. Player development matters. Analytics matter. Facilities matter. Hiring smart executives matters.

And Kroenke’s track record across professional sports gives Angels fans something they haven’t had in a very long time:

A legitimate reason to believe.

A new stadium suddenly feels possible. A complete organizational rebuild feels inevitable. A modern baseball operation feels achievable.

Will it happen overnight?

No.

But eventually being competitive doesn’t sound ridiculous anymore. Eventually contending doesn’t sound ridiculous anymore.

For Angels fans, that’s practically a parade.

USC: 2-0, NO. 12…AND I’M STILL WATCHING THAT DEFENSE

USC is 2-0.

The Trojans are No. 12 in the country after taking care of Louisiana.

Everything is wonderful.

Right?

Ehhhhhhh.

I still don’t completely trust this defense.

Maybe that’s unfair. Maybe it’s September paranoia. Or maybe I’ve watched enough Lincoln Riley football over the years to know that when somebody tells me not to worry about the defense, that’s precisely when I begin worrying about the defense.

The good news is USC is winning the games it’s supposed to win.

That’s Step One.

But we’re about two weeks away from Oregon coming to town.

That’s when we find out what this team actually is.

Because against Oregon, “pretty good” defense isn’t going to cut it.

If USC wants to be taken seriously as a playoff team, we’re going to need to see whether this defense can get off the field against an elite opponent.

Until then?

Enjoy 2-0. Enjoy No. 12.

Just keep one eye on that secondary.

UCLA: WAIT…ARE WE HAVING FUN?

Across town, something even stranger is happening.

UCLA fans are happy.

The Bruins are 2-0 after beating San Diego State, following their win over Cal, and there’s a very realistic path to 4-0 before Oregon arrives.

Four-and-oh UCLA?

In football?

Everybody remain calm.

And as if winning football games wasn’t enough, Christmas also came early in Westwood:

Martin Jarmond is gone.

He’s being replaced on an interim basis by former Lakers CFO Tim Harris, which might be exactly the type of background UCLA needs right now.

Because Harris isn’t walking into an athletic department.

He’s walking into an episode of Financial Rescue: Westwood Edition.

UCLA athletics has a massive financial problem, and fixing it is going to require creativity, discipline, increased revenue and probably some accounting maneuvers that would make Cirque du Soleil jealous.

But bringing in someone with a serious financial background makes sense.

And suddenly UCLA fans have something they haven’t had much of lately:

Momentum.

Football is winning. There’s optimism around the program. The athletic department is changing direction.

Enjoy it, Bruins fans.

Oregon will be here soon enough.

THE IRISH JIG?

My Fighting Irish of Notre Dame are also off to a nice 2-0 start after being Rice, and moving up to #3 in the AP Poll. However, this season is shaping up to be exactly like last season.

The Irish will likely roll through their schedule, but their playoff chances are going to come down to their showdowns against Miami and BYU in the middle of the season.

If they go 2-0 it’s all good. If they go 1-1 we’ll see.

If they lose both, not even lighting a candle and saying their prayers at the Grotto will get them into the CFP.

CLIPPERS: FIVE FIRST-ROUND PICKS LATER…

And finally, the Clippers.

The punishment for the Kawhi Leonard cap-circumvention mess finally arrived.

Five first-round picks.

Five!

Steve Ballmer has accepted it, which is probably wise considering appealing would essentially amount to walking back into the principal’s office and asking whether they could review the security footage one more time.

So now what?

Why is Kawhi still here?

If Toronto is willing to send back two first-round picks, make the trade yesterday.

You’ve just lost five. Getting two back would be the NBA equivalent of discovering a couple of twenties in the washing machine after your house burned down.

And while everyone is treating the lost draft capital like it guarantees a decade of darkness, I’m not entirely convinced.

Have you seen the Clippers draft?

Maybe taking their first-round picks away is actually a competitive advantage.

The larger issue is what comes next, particularly if the Justice Department decides the NBA’s punishment isn’t the end of the story.

That’s when things could become considerably uglier.

Either way, the Clippers have a long road back to contention.

Although I suppose that sentence requires us to accept the premise that they were contenders in the first place.

We’ve spent roughly a decade hearing about the Clippers’ championship window.

Lob City.

Kawhi and Paul George.

The deepest roster in basketball.

The scary playoff matchup.

The championship favorite.

And what did it produce?

Zero NBA Finals appearances.

So perhaps we’re not witnessing the end of a Clippers dynasty.

We’re witnessing the end of a very expensive PowerPoint presentation about one.

LAST SIP

So that’s Los Angeles sports this morning.

The Rams are wounded and getting roasted.

The Chargers are once again trying to determine why Justin Herbert can’t personally play quarterback, linebacker and safety.

The Dodgers are trying to bubble-wrap everyone until October.

The Angels have a billionaire savior.

USC is 2-0 but still making us stare suspiciously at its defense.

UCLA is 2-0 and suddenly has competent adults addressing its finances.

And the Clippers lost five first-round picks and may need to trade Kawhi Leonard back to the place this whole experiment started.