September 2nd, 2013

College football season is here and both So Cal squads found the win column in week 1.  However,   the Trojans and Bruins each appear to be trending in completely opposite directions.  UCLA obliterated Nevada 58-20 at the Rose Bowl, while the 90 degree heat simultaneously obliterated the fans that were willing to show up in Pasadena.  I’m not sure what’s more amazing: Brett Hundley’s 334 all purpose yards and 4 touchdowns? Or the fact that Jim Mora Jr. was wearing pants and a long sleeve shirt under his polo for 5 hours in the heat?  In any case, UCLA looks like they have an exciting football team for the first time in many years.

Then there’s the Trojans, who had an unimpressive 30-13 win over Hawaii in Honolulu.  Although the USC defense looked strong, the quarterback situation remains an issue for this team.  In addition to the fact that Lane Kiffin foolishly won’t commit to one starting quarterback, he constantly micromanages his signal callers, which inhibits their ability to improve.  Southern Cal had more talent at every position than Hawaii.  Instead of unleashing that talent and seeing what it can do, Kiffin wouldn’t let his quarterbacks do any more than act as game managers.  Kiffin also micromanaged Matt Barkley last season, causing him to lose confidence and ultimately, sink like the Titanic in the NFL Draft.

When it comes to So Cal college football, it appears for now, up is down and down is up.  Jim Mora Jr. looks like the new Pete Caroll.  Lane Kiffin looks like the new Ric Neusheisel.  UCLA has a great quarterback, while USC has two crappy ones.  Before you know it, UCLA will suddenly start having better looking girls on campus than USC.  Ok….maybe not.

As for the rest of the college football weekend, I was pleasantly surprised to see my Fighting Irish of Notre Dame take care of Temple 28-6.  I think most of my fellow Golden Domers were so shocked by “Turnover Tommy” Rees’ two touchdown passes in the first quarter, we felt it was practically a slap in the face to Notre Dame tradition.  Oh, and how could I forget to mention Texas A&M quarterback Johnny Manziel, who couldn’t be any more of a douchebag for taunting a player and pretending to sign an autograph after scoring a touchdown on Saturday.  This guy is becoming more unlikeable by the minute. The NCAA knows damn well he accepted money for signing autographs, but they know they have a star they can make money off of, so why suspend him?

On to baseball, where the Dodgers continue to roll.  The Boys in Blue swept the Padres over the weekend, and they’ve now opened up an 11.5 game lead over Arizona in the NL West with just 26 games left to play.  LA can probably look to start getting some of their top players some rest, even though they are only two games back  of Atlanta for the best record in the NL.  It sure would be nice to have a healthy Matt Kemp back for October, but you’d have an easier time trying to find Carmen San Diego right now than finding Kemp’s swing.  He’s been dreadful in his minor league rehab assignment.  Good thing Yasiel Puig showed up….

Despite Puig’s erratic behavior, there’s no doubt he can be a star.  The Dodgers look brilliant now for locking him up to a 7 year $42 million contract last winter, which is a bargain.  Speaking of being worth every penny, Zach Greinke has been a fantastic #2 starter.  After improving to 14-3 with yesterday’s win, Greinke has won 6 straight starts and looks like he’ll make a formidable duo with Clayton Kershaw come October.  Adding veteran infielder Michael Young over the weekend was another great, low risk move for the club too.  Closer Kenley Jensen has been just filthy, as he has converted 17 straight saves, and looks like a completely different pitcher than we saw earlier in the year.

As for the Angels, they’ve won a meaningless 8 of their last 9 games after sweeping the Brewers over the weekend.  As they did last year, they start playing real baseball when their season is already over.  Speculation is already running rampant about what Arte Moreno will do with Mike Scioscia and Jerry Dipoto.  Even though Scioscia deserves to keep his job more than Dipoto, hiring a general manager who can’t hire his own skipper isn’t very ideal.  In fact, when Moreno hired Dipoto two years ago, he was very interested in Rays GM Andy Friedman, but Friedman turned him down.  Moreno needs a general manager who can rebuild his farm system, and turn his current team into a contender by adding quality pitching at an affordable price.  Sounds like he’ll have to hire a new gm with the authority to hire his own manager to make this happen.

Moving on to the Lamar Odom saga, now that he’s has been found, and isn’t actually dead, everyone can resume the jokes.  It’s obvious that LO is on crack because he hasn’t signed with the Lakers, who are the only team that was actually offering him a contract.  Well, they “were” the only team offering him a contract, but after he was arrested for suspicion of DUI last week, that opportunity is gone.   Lamar is a good dude, but he needs to get his life together.  Last week, reports were that he was missing for 3 days, but they were clearly mistaken.  He’s been missing for over 3 years.

This Time Warner Cable vs CBS cable dispute is ridiculous.  I can’t believe they haven’t come to a resolution yet.  You Time Warner Cable subscribers realize that you don’t have CBS, Showtime, and KCAL right now is because TWC doesn’t want to charge you $1 more per month right?  For a company that has been notorious for price gouging its customers, I think they can drop the “concerned for their customers” act and gladly add the $1 to everyone’s bill.  TWC escalated this dispute when they blocked Showtime from its subscribers when the dispute started, and they stand to lose a ton of customers if they don’t figure this out fast.

I realize that I’m late to the party on this whole discussion about last week’s VMA’s, but I wasn’t nearly as horrified with Miley Cyrus as others were.  Her twerking display on stage was just another example of an artist trying to create an identify and sell a brand.  We’ve seen far more offensive displays on stage than what we saw that night, so I’m surprised people are so up in arms over it.  However, with that being said, Miley is definitely trying way to hard to separate herself from her Disney Hannah Montana character, to the point where she is hurting her brand.  There’s nothing wrong with trying to re-brand yourself, but there’s probably better ways to do it.

Sadly, all the talk about Miley Cyrus probably overshadowed Justin Timberlake’s performance.  JT had arguably one of the greatest live on stage performances that I have ever seen.  I would hate to be any artist that had to follow that.  I don’t care if you are a JT fan or not, but that guy is unbelievably talented, and his performance was phenomenal.  Here it is in case you missed it:

Finally, the 4th episode of the final 8 episodes of Breaking Bad aired on AMC last night, and the show took somewhat of a breather.  Spoiler Alert for those of you who have it on DVR! Last night’s episode showed how Jesse was convinced not to burn down Walt’s house by Hank, and then Hank proceeded to try and get Jesse to provide some testimony that would incriminate Walt for all his crimes.  Jesse failed to provide this evidence, and when Hank asked Jesse to wear a wire and meet Walt in person later on, Jesse abandoned the plan at the last moment, thinking Walt has an assassin prepared to kill him.

This particular episode definitely did not provide us with the usual edge-of-your-seat tension as before.  Instead, we are given some meaningful moments to ponder.  I found the most interesting  part of the episode to be the ironic impact Walt has suddenly had on all the other characters.  In the first four episodes of this season, Walt’s biggest threats have been his own brother-in-law Hank, and his former business partner Jesse.  Despite the threats they pose, Walt has refused to kill them, because he cares deeply for both of them, as Hank is his family, and Jesse is practically like a son to him.  For all the horrible things Walt has done, he is still willing to protect the ones he cares about.  The irony of this is the very cavalier attitude Walt’s loved ones suddenly have about killing people.  Skyler urges Walt to kill Jesse in order to protect the family.  Marie suggests that she is enjoying the thought of poisoning Walt, and Hank admits he’s willing to let Jesse get killed if it means incriminating Walt.    These moments are definitely setting the stage for an incredible final four episodes, which Breaking Bad fans anxiously await!

August 26th, 2013

It was quite a run for the Dodgers.   After dropping two out of three to the Red Sox over the weekend, the Boys in Blue lost their first series since mid-June.  LA went 14-0-4 in that stretch before those clam chowder eating, terrible driving, “wicked” accent speaking Boston Red Sox beat them up at Chavez Ravine.  This could have very well been a potential World Series preview, however, fear not Dodger fans, this team is still in great shape.  The team didn’t pitch their top two starters in this series, and Hyun-Jin Ryu took the mound with the flu on Saturday night.  The Dodgers still have a 9.5 game lead over 2nd place Arizona in the NL West.  Besides, did you really expect LA to keep winning those games that Chris Capuano kept getting his ass kicked in every five days?

Meanwhile, I think it’s time for the Dodgers to at least pick up the option on the final year of manager Don Mattingly’s contract next year.  Mattingly has definitely earned his keep.  He’s taken the Dodgers from the 4th worst team in baseball, to the 2nd best record in two months.  He’s done this while dealing with a ton of injuries to the club throughout the year.  He’s also successfully managed two different teams:  A completely stripped down Dodger team at the end of the Frank McCourt era, and a team with much more star power in this years Dodger team.  The players like him, he’s managed the egos well, and he’s a huge part of LA building great clubhouse chemistry.  I’m sure the Dodgers have been keeping an eye on Mike Scioscia, but why mess with success?  You don’t need an organization made up of stars in every role.  LA should also think about that this winter before they start replacing Mark Ellis and AJ Ellis with free agents Robinson Canoe and Brian McCann.

Speaking of Mike Scioscia, he denied there is a rift between himself and general manager Jerry Dipoto.  This was a rather predictable move by the Halos skipper.  However, since these two are really “on the same page”, I’d hate to see how bad this team would be if they weren’t on the same page.  Scioscia claimed that their only real public dispute was when hitting coach Mickey Hatcher was fired last year.  “The one thing that I publicly disagreed with Jerry about, and we’ve talked about it too, is when he let Mickey go.  And that’s been it.”  Scioscia also also said “our  philosophies are right in line with anything we’ve ever done here.”

That couldn’t be further from the truth, but what can you expect him to say when he knows his job could be in jeopardy?  Scioscia and Dipoto have both said they want to focus on improving the pitching staff this off-season.  Have they talked with their boss Arte Moreno yet?  Because he’s probably going to want to waste another $200 million instead on signing Robinson Canoe.

Every baseball fan should be thrilled to know that Dodgers announcer Vin Scully is coming back to call games in 2014.  It will be Scully’s 65th season as the Dodgers announcer, which is remarkable for a man who is 85 years old.  Scully could probably read a phone book, and make it interesting for his listeners.  LA sports fans have been so fortunate over the years to have 3 legendary, hall of fame, announcers in their city:  Scully, Bob Miller of the LA Kings, and the late Chick Hearn of the Lakers.

Why can’t Lane Kiffin just pick a starting quarterback for the Trojans already?  This guy is more indecisive than a 17 year old girl right now.  Kiffin said that “ideally” they don’t want to have a two quarterback system.  Then he decides that both Max Wittek and Cody Kessler will play in the season opener at Hawaii on Thursday night.  SC hasn’t used two quarterbacks since the 1995 season, when Brad Otton and Kyle Wachholtz shared the role.  USC did win the Pac-10 title that year, but these types of systems don’t usually lend themselves to effective chemistry building.  Rumor has it that Kiffin was informed that if Wittek doesn’t win the starting job, he will end up transferring, which could ultimately force him to make a decision, rather than use two quarterbacks.  I’m sure right about now many USC fans are wishing that the Trojans would use two coaches as well.

After hearing reports that Lamar Odom has been missing for 3 days, there were many things that were going through my mind.  I know many of you are expecting me to cue up the jokes on this one, and even though there are probably a multitude of them I can throw in here, it just isn’t the time.  TMZ reported over the weekend that Odom has been battling a drug problem for two years, and that he could be addicted to crack cocaine or Oxycontin or Ambien.  His family reportedly tried to stage a drug intervention, but he refused, then took off.  Nobody has been able to contact him, and his family is speculating he could be on a huge drug binge.  I’m shocked that once the news came out that he was missing, few people reporting on it took it seriously.  Sadly, this is probably because his is married to Khloe Kardashian, who people just associate with fake drama.  On Sunday evening, a rep for Lamar confirmed he was fine, yet would not discuss his whereabouts.

The Lakers and Clippers had both reached out to Odom weeks ago to gauge his interest in playing for them.  However, now it’s clear why he hasn’t signed with either.  Both teams are concerned about his drug abuse.  According to the TMZ report, Odom went to drug rehab for three weeks last August.  He stayed clean while playing for the Clippers, but then began using hardcore recreational drugs when the Clippers season ended a few months ago.    Hopefully LO is ok, can turn his life around, and this story does not have an unfortunate ending.

And finally, Breaking Bad had another riveting episode last night.  Spoiler Alert for those of you who have it on DVR, and have yet to watch it.  In classic Breaking Bad fashion, just when Walter White gets away with something, another thing far worse happens to him.  In this episode, Walter gets the upper hand on his brother-in-law, Hank Schrader, when he makes a video tape confessing his criminal activity, but simultaneously makes Hank the patsy.  This was another brilliant move by Walter, especially considering that his confession brings up the fact he paid for Hank’s medical bills, which Hank had no idea about until seeing the video.  This ends the threat of Hank telling his friends at the DEA about Walter’s criminal activity.

However, a new threat appears to be emerging for Walt, and that is his former business partner Jesse Pinkman, who is angered by the discovery that Walt poisoned the little boy Brock.  Jesse is so angry, that he storms into Walt’s house, and starts pouring gasoline all over the place, presumably to light the house on fire.  I guess we won’t know until next week because that’s when the episode ended.

Several other key themes seemed to emerge from this episode.  Walt has become very good at manipulating people emotionally.  He has done it repeatedly to Jesse, and he even did it to his son, to prevent him from going to visit the Schraders.  The writers of the show also seem to be focused on colors and what they symbolize.  For example, during the meeting between the Whites and Schraders,  Marie wears black to symbolize her mourning for the family she thought she had, while Hank wears purple to atone for upsetting his wife.  In the previous episode, the writers tried to create symbolism by focusing on the colors of Lydia’s shoes.  Speaking of Lydia, her new business partners may be an additional new adversary for Walter.  That is not entirely clear after seeing the opening scene of last night’s episode, but it must have some significance.

The real question moving forward is whether or not Walter would kill Jesse to save himself.  For almost 5 seasons, the show has been built on the emotional relationship between these two.  Now it appears as though it’s ending will be very much revolving around this relationship.  As horrible of a person Walt has transformed into, I still can’t see him killing Jesse.  Walt came very close to getting caught by his brother in law, yet refused to kill him because he was family.  Jesse seems just as important to Walt as Hank is, so I can’t see him killing him, even if it means not saving himself.

August 19th, 2013

The Dodgers lost a game?  What do you mean they lost?  They never lose!  I thought they were supposed to go win every game the rest of the season?  Well, I suppose I can forgive them for losing the series finale to the Phillies yesterday by a score of 3-2, even after Hanley Ramirez made 2 errors in the 9th inning,  The Boys in Blue have still won 10 of their last 11 games, are 25-4 since the all-star break, and are a historical 42-9 in their last 51 games.  Do you realize how good this stretch is?  Going into Friday, the Dodgers had more wins in their last 48 games, than the Houston Astros had in their last 118 games!

Even with a 7.5 game lead though, yesterday’s loss did raise a few questions as LA aims for it’s first World Series title since the Jerry Curl was in.  Will Hanley Ramirez’ defense be an issue when it really matters?  Will Yasiel Puig’s aggressive style of play cost the Dodgers in the late stages of a critical game?  It sure did yesterday, as his failure to hit the cut off man led to the Phillies tying up the game.  Will Matt Kemp ever be healthy and effective, and how will he fit in when he returns?  And will the Dodgers bullpen continue to be effective despite a very heavy workload?  For all of these issues, only time will tell, but at this point, Dodger fans should be enjoying the ride.

Meanwhile, Angel fans aren’t enjoying much right now.  I had the misfortune of actually seeing this disaster in person on Friday night at the Big A, which was when the Angels lost their first of two games this weekend to the lowly Astros.  I’m not even sure the Astros are actually trying to win games right now, but it seems like every time these guys come to town, they give the Halos a beating.  Can anyone actually name 3 players on the Astros team?  1/5th of all of their wins this season have come against the Angels.  It’s clear that the Halos have already packed it in, and the hamstring injury to Mike Trout yesterday just pours a little more salt in the wound.

The only question now is what will be the fate of skipper Mike Scioscia and General Manager Jerry Dipoto.  On Friday night, the LA Times tried to get a comment from owner Arte Moreno regarding the job security of both these men, but Arte declined to speak on the topic.  This fact alone makes it clear that a change of some kind is probably coming at season’s end.  Nevertheless, regardless of who the new GM and manager are, turning this club around any time soon will be tough.

How awkward is this A-Rod situation?  Everyone knows the guy is an expensive, lying, cheating, phony, who’s teammates don’t want him around.  Still, he continues to show up to work, and is actually playing pretty well.  Yankees GM Brian Cashman even said yesterday that he isn’t really comfortable talking to A-Rod “because we feel we are in a litigious environment.”  It must suck to show up to work when nobody wants you there, even when you are doing your job well.

It’s that time of year again: fantasy football draft time!  I had my first of 4 drafts yesterday, and as most fantasy football participants know, it’s usually a celebrated event.  At the same time, the annual complaining from women I’ve dated comes hand in hand with this tradition.  “So let me get this straight.  You are spending the next 5 hours putting together a ‘fantasy’ team?  You know how ridiculous that is? You’re going to spend the next 5 months yelling at your phone, getting disappointed, and then yelling at me for no apparent reason!”  It’s true.  How many times do we end up yelling at our loved ones, or even our dogs, when it’s Philip Rivers we should be yelling at?  Then there’s those weekends when you end up yelling at your TV set like a mad man because your team got beat when the Bears defense scored 17 points to come back and beat you.  Then your foreign born neighbors are wondering what the hell you’re screaming about, then you have to actually explain the concept of fantasy football to them.  At that point, your neighbors walk away acting sympathetic towards you, but in the end, they are filing this one away as another reason they made a mistake in moving to this fast declining country.

Yesterday, via Twitter, we found out that Wayne Gretzky’s infamous daughter, Paulina, is now engaged to pro golfer Dustin Johnson.  I think the question most people are wondering is:  does this mean Paulina will stop posting provocative pictures of herself on the internet?  I’m sure the Great One hopes that is the case, while many other guys don’t.

After Usain Bolt helped Jamaica win the 4×100 meter relay yesterday in the world championships, he tied former US sprinter Carl Lewis with his 10th career medal.  Bolt won 3 gold medals this past weekend, also taking the 100 and the 200 meter races.  I hope this guy enjoys his fame while it lasts, because it’s only a matter of time before we find out he is on PED’s.  You can certainly compare pictures of Bolt when he was younger and see how he’s bulked up in a way that could only be achieved through PED’s.  Even more ridiculous are the world record times he’s been running, obliterating previous marks.  The Jamaicans are known to be pretty lax in their drug testing programs, and as someone who ran and coached track and field, I have a hard time believing someone with the lanky build of Bolt could run that fast.

Finally, last night’s episode of Breaking Bad continued the wild ride for its fans.  It’s amazing how the last 6 episodes of the series appear to be a showdown amongst family members.  Spoiler alert for those of you who have it on DVR.  That showdown appears to be between Hank Schrader and his wife Marie, who are facing off against her sister Skyler, and the infamous Walter White.  Alliances are forming, which I have a feeling will be setting the stage for a shocking betrayal.  Will Walt kill his own wife Skyler?  Will he kill his brother in law Hank?  It appears not, after Walt immediately shot down his slimy attorney Saul’s idea to kill off his brother in law.  One also has to wonder whether or not Jesse Pinkman and Walt will turn on each other, even after Walt was almost a father figure for Jesse in previous seasons.  Remember though: Walter White has slowly transformed from a nerdy chemistry teacher, into a monstrous criminal master mind.  Along the way, he has blown up a nursing home, poisoned a child, and run over drug dealers in the streets to protect himself.  So when a family member is willing to put him in jail, I believe when push comes to shove, he will do whatever is necessary to protect himself.

August 12th, 2013

How many more amazing things can I say about the Dodgers?  They looked like they were in for a tough week going up against the Cardinals and Rays, but knocked both of those teams around like Walter White was in the garage last night (more on that shortly).  After sweeping Tampa and taking 3 of 4 from the Cardinals, the Boys in Blue have won 37 of their last 45 games, which means they’ve played .800 baseball for more than a quarter of the season!  They haven’t had a stretch this good since the 50’s, or when most of your mothers were sporting poodle skirts.  What an amazing comeback win on Friday night after being down 6-0.   LA looks like they might even hunt down the Braves for home field advantage in the NL Playoffs, but does it even matter?  They’ve won 17 of their last 18 games on the road.

The amazing thing about the Dodgers run is that it’s coming without Matt Kemp and lately without Hanley Ramirez.  I still think they’ll need both of these guys healthy come October to put them over the top, but sometimes I think Kemp needs to be placed in bubble wrap to avoid injury.  He nearly injured his wrist shagging fly balls yesterday.  Nevertheless, things are only going to get better when LA adds Brian Wilson to their bullpen in the next week, which will only add to their tremendous pitching staff.

As for the Angels, I’d like to take this opportunity to thank former major leaguer and radio host Jack Clark for informing us this past week that Albert Pujols previously took steroids.  Thanks to Jack, this morning, I can write about the Halos and not focus on how much they suck, or how their bullpen is a pile of rally monkey crap for blowing another lead yesterday against the Indians.

Clark proclaimed on his radio show earlier in the week that he knew for a fact Pujols took steroids when he was with the Cardinals.  He claimed that his trainer told him he personally had injected Pujols with PED’s, but after Pujols threatened legal action, Clark was fired by the radio station.  I don’t blame Jack Clark one bit for what he did.  Radio is about ratings, and Clark gave his listeners some very intriguing insight into what he knows about PED’s, whether you agree with it or not.  He did nothing wrong, and if the station is worried about the potential legal action against him, it’s very shortsighted because Pujols has no chance of winning in court.

I don’t know whether or not Albert Pujols used PED’s or not.  However, the reality of it is that it’s not unreasonable to think he did before.  Here’s a guy whose age some of us aren’t entirely sure about, his numbers are in decline, and his body is starting to breakdown.  Sorry Albert, you may be a stand up guy and a great person, but since many of your peers are documented liars and cheaters, we have a right to be suspicious.  If you have a problem with that, then maybe it’s your peers you should be suing.

On to college football, where USC dodged a major bullet over the weekend.  All-American wide receiver Marqise Lee suffered a shoulder injury on Friday, and was seen leaving the practice field wearing a sling.  However, after X-Rays came back negative, it turned out to be just a bone bruise and Lee is listed as day-to-day.  Maybe this injury will make coach Lane Kiffin re-consider using Lee as a first, second, and third option on every play, which he did last season, so his star player doesn’t get run into the ground.

I’m really looking forward to college football starting so I don’t have to hear anything else about Johnny Football.  I’m about ready to throw my television set out of the window if I hear anything else about this kid.  With that being said, he should be suspended by the NCAA for being a selfish moron, and accepting $7,500 for signing memorabilia.  Even though the NCAA rules are more outdated than The Dead Sea Scrolls, players know what the rules are, and know not to break them.  What makes Johnny Manziel even dumber is that he didn’t need the money, and comes from a well to do family.

Speaking of football, I’m excited about the start of the NFL season and all, but some people can’t even keep it in their pants during the preseason.  I walked into the office this week and my co-workers had already created an office pool for preseason football games.  Nothing like betting on a bunch of guys who will probably not even make it in the NFL.  Even better was my co-workers analysis of the Chargers for the one offensive drive that the starters played on Thursday night.  “Did you see Philip Rivers last night?  He’s going to be the best quarterback in the league this year!  He looked amazing on those three passes he threw!  He’s a changed man!”  Chill out for a couple of more weeks guys.

Friday marked the 25th anniversary of the Wayne Gretzky trade to the Los Angeles Kings.  This is usually a day of great self-reflection for me because Gretzky was my inspiration growing up, which not only resulted in me loving hockey, but loving sports.  As for the trade, I think it’s fair to say that both the Oilers and the Kings benefited a great deal from it.  The Oilers went on to win the Stanley Cup just two years later, while Gretzky created a new generation of hockey fans in non-traditional hockey cities, despite not winning a Stanley Cup in his 8 years in LA.  If anything, I think the NHL got the best of that trade.

NBC recently announced that Jay Leno will be retiring in February of 2014, and Jimmy Fallon will be taking over the Tonight Show at that point.  Wait a second, I’ve seen this movie before, and it ended when Leno stole back his late night show from Conan O’Brien a few years ago.  Leno is still the #1 late night talk show host, and I can’t imagine that he will be leaving television in just 6 months from now.  Fox could bring in Leno for a late night show, and that’s bad news for Fallon.  Not only would he have to replace a legend, but he would have to compete with him as well!

I can’t believe that SyFy’s Sharknado was actually shown in theaters in the past week.  This just goes to show you how badly things are going at the box office these days.  The mockbuster had a special midnight showing in 200 theaters across the nation and was sold out.  Even more amazing is the fact that the Sharknado sequel, which is coming out in 2014, will simply be called “The Second One”.  That has to be the movie equivalent of referring to yourself in the third person.

And finally, the season premier of Breaking Bad last night was phenomenal.  Spoiler alert coming for those of you who have it on DVR, but just when you think the show that could have ended, it finds a way to keep rolling.  I expected these final 8 episodes to start moving at the pace of a crawl and then end the series in explosive fashion.  Instead, the writers of the show created an incredible showdown at the end of the episode between Walter White (played by Brian Cranston) and his brother in law Hank Schrader (played by Dean Norris).  Hank punches Walter in the face in his own garage after confronting him about his transformation into criminal mastermind “Heisenberg”.  The show comes to a chilling close when Hank says “I don’t even know who I’m talking to”, and Walt replies “maybe your best course would be to tread lightly”.  This is just another example of how the show has done an amazing job developing a character who has transformed from a nerdy science teacher, into a brilliant criminal monster.  There are still many questions to be answered in the final 7 episodes, such as what Walt will do with the poisonous ricin vial he has, and why he has a machine gun.  The next 7 weeks should be some great TV.

August 5th, 2013

The Dodgers cannot be stopped.  They’ve won a franchise record 14 straight games on the road, and the last time that was done, Michael Jackson was black and the Republicans actually had a good president.   Since June 22nd, the Boys in Blue have won 31 of 38 games, and are a sizzling 14-2 since the all-star break.  What’s even more impressive is LA’s pitching staff, which hasn’t surrendered a run in the last 23 innings.  They have 6 starting pitchers that are throwing well, and they’ve helped the Dodgers open up a 5.5 game lead over Arizona in the NL West.

After this past weekends’ 4 game sweep over the Cubs, it appears the only thing that could derail the Dodgers are injuries.  Hanley Ramirez injured his right shoulder while diving into the crowd for a foul ball, and was seen leaving Wrigley Field with his arm in a sling.  The good news is that the injury was not to his left shoulder, which was the shoulder that he had surgery on previously.  He’ll be re-evaluated Monday.  Meanwhile, Yasiel Puig sat out yesterday’s game after injuring his thumb trying to be superman again the day before.   LA is hopeful Puig will be back in the lineup on Monday, and they’ll need him for a big week against the Cardinals followed by the Rays.

Well, then there’s lowly Angels.  Even though they took 3 of 4 from terrible Toronto, the Halos bullpen blew another game in the late innings yesterday.  That’s 4 times this week! It’s pretty hard for me to envision how this team is going to improve beyond this season.  There’s very few impact starting pitchers available on the free agent market this coming winter, and the Angels don’t have much money to spend because they blew their loads on Albert Pujols and Josh Hamilton.  Since those two guys are under contract for the next century or so, the Halos will have a big challenge trying to afford the $300 million contract that Mike Trout will have to sign then.

Meanwhile, Major League Baseball is about to lay the hammer down on Yankees 3rd baseman Alex Rodriguez, who is linked to the Biogenesis performance enhancing drug scandal.  Sources say A-Rod will likely be suspended for the remainder of this season, as well as the entire 2014 season, which may end the 38 year old’s career.   I don’t have any sympathy for this guy after essentially getting caught not once, but twice, doing PED’s since baseball banned them.  I also have to give credit to commissioner Bud Selig, who for years has been known as one of the dumbest commissioners in sports, but is now stepping up his efforts to do the right thing and clean up the game.   I expect more drastic drug testing measures to be enforced in the MLB if they are serious about getting the cheaters out of their game.

Anybody that reads the LA Times sports section has to be wondering: Where has TJ Simers gone?  Simers has not written a column in 6 weeks, and the paper has not mentioned that he is on vacation under his columns, which is usually their protocol.   It now appears he may be let go this week.  Sports blogger Larry Brown reported last week that Simers’ boss at the LA Times is unhappy that he is doing work with Mandalay Sports Entertainment, most recently, a short video of his daughter participating in a free throw contest against Dwight Howard.    Simers is reportedly interested in launching a reality TV show about his family, in partnership with MSE, and this also isn’t sitting well with the big guys at the LA Times.  Love him or hate him, Simers is one of the most entertaining sports journalists in Southern California, and it would be a mistake for the paper to let him go.  Who else is going to badger Southern California athletes and coaches during post game press conferences?  Another quality columnist will depart, and the LA Times will move closer to their demise.  Here’s a look at his recent video….

Trying to choose a cable provider these days is like being forced to choose between a handful of drunk and ugly women at a bar.  Since Time Warner is in a dispute with CBS, that means if you are in Southern California, you aren’t receiving CBS, KCAL, or Showtime.  If you go with Direc TV, you’ll be forced to live without the Pac-12 Network, which is tough with college football coming up.  Dish Network has virtually no sports packages or channels, U-Verse doesn’t even have the NHL Network, and Cox just punishes customers with their prices.  Wait until the Dodgers launch their new channel on Time Warner in 2014, and then shit will really hit the fan.  These cable companies need to start offering their channels a la carte instead of packaging them with expensive other useless content.

Speaking of TV, Shark Week is airing on the Discovery Channel this week and it’s awesome!  I think at this point, Discovery should just give us Shark month.  I must say though, in recent years I’ve been a little disappointed in the amount of sensationalization that has gone on during the week, with many programs on shark attacks, and people who have told devastating stories about their limbs being torn off.    I’m terrified enough of Sharks, and don’t need to hear about this kind of stuff.  If anything, I want to hear more about what we’ve learned about these animals in recent years, which is incredibly fascinating.  I like what I saw last night, and watching scientists theorize about the estimated 60 foot Megaladon Shark was riveting.  Even better was watching video clips of mysterious attacks of fishing boats, which was like watching the Blair Witch Project on a boat.  Here’s a good Shark Week drinking games for you:

These are definitely the dog days of summer when it comes to sports stories.  That couldn’t have been more evident this week when Saints Quarterback Drew Brees was criticized by a celebrity gossip website for leaving only a $3 tip at a restaurant for a takeout order.  With that being said…..$3 for a takeout tip?  As far as I’m concerned, you’re lucky if you get a $1 from me as a tip on a takeout order.   Also, I love how restaurants and servers take the liberty adding in gratuity of 18-20%, and some insist that “20% is the minimum” one should be leaving.  Nice try.  Gratuity is simply predicated on performance.  If you did a good job, you’ll get rewarded.  If you didn’t, you’ll get little or nothing.  As for Brees, he’s one of the most stand up guys you will ever meet, and is the furthest thing from cheap.

Finally, I don’t understand all the hype about Sprinkles Ice Cream in Newport Beach.  For those of you unfamiliar, Sprinkles is an ice cream and cup cake place that’s been around for a while in Beverly Hills, but recently opened up in Newport.  People have been so excited about it, that they’ve been waiting 3 to 4 hours in line to get their ice cream!  I decided to go last week on a Monday night, and the wait was “only” 20 minutes.  Let’s just say I want my 20 minutes back.  Here’s what the line usually looks like:

July 29th, 2013

The Dodgers are hotter than two super models fighting over a cheeseburger at In-N-Out.  After Yasiel Puig’s walk-off home run to beat the Reds yesterday, the boys in blue are 9-1 since the all-star break, and in 1st place by 2.5 in the NL West.   LA has won 26 of 32, and since Yasiel Puig was called up on June 3rd, they’ve had the best record in baseball.  Things have been so good, it’s almost concerning.  The Dodgers can’t possibly play .800 baseball for the rest of the season.   Is the team peaking too early?  Only time will tell, but they certainly have the pitching to be a factor.  Heck, even reliever Brandon League doesn’t suck anymore!

Meanwhile, Don Mattingly still can’t get any job security.  General Manager Ned Colletti was asked about extending Mattingly’s contract in a radio interview on 710 ESPN earlier in the week, and hardly gave Mattingly a vote of confidence.  Colletti said “We still hold an option on Don and I think everybody is focused on the last two months of the regular season.  We’re not looking at staff or player personnel situations, pending free agency, or stuff like that.”  Really?  You can’t give this guy any job security after what he’s overcome?  This situation is becoming more obvious than Shaquille O’Neal at a midget convention.  The Dodgers are hoping to hire Mike Scioscia.    Why else would you not commit to a guy that has proven so much?

Speaking of Scioscia, the Angels continued to sink faster than the Titanic in Oakland over the weekend.  This team is amazing.  Just when you think they are getting a decent starting pitching performance from Garrett Richards and on their way to a win, Scott Downs comes out of the bullpen to blow the game!  Then yesterday, the offense explodes and the Halos jump out to a 5-0 lead, only to have starter Tommy Hanson screw it up by giving up 5 runs in less than 5 innings.

If that isn’t enough, Albert Pujols was placed on the DL over the weekend with a torn ligament in his foot, and will likely miss the rest of the season.  That’s definitely the extra kick in the balls the Halos needed to give up on their season.  Pujols has been playing through pain all season, but he’s managed to be somewhat productive, hitting .258 with 17 home runs.  According to Fox’s Ken Rosenthal, the Angels are definite sellers with the trade deadline approaching.  They will be listening to offers for Howie Kendrick, Erik Aybar, and Scott Downs.  Their goal is to upgrade their starting pitching, but without big time prospects, that like trying to swap a Honda for an Italian Sports Car.

I’ve been very impressed with the number of players who have spoken out against Ryan Braun after we learned this week he’s at the center of the Biogenesis scandal.  Braun was nearly caught two years ago using performance enhancing drugs, and when he escaped on a technicality, he screamed from the mountain top that he was clean.  Now that we know he was lying, he’ll forever be known as “Lyin Braun”

Major League Baseball simply isn’t doing enough to stop players from cheating.  The potential reward for using performance enhancing drugs is a mult-year contract worth over $100 million, and the risk is only a brief suspension.  If the MLB is serious about ending this problem, they will start throwing people out of the league or terminate their contracts after getting caught once.  Wait until we start hearing names of NBA players who are on HGH.  I’m sure that’s coming next, and I’m scared to find out who’s on the list.

On Pac-12 media day, USC AD Pat Haden declared that head football coach Lane Kiffin “is not on the hot seat”.   Haden claimed that SC is still being negatively impacted by the reduction in scholarships they are still facing from NCAA penalties.  Funny how this never seemed to be an issue in the first year of the penalties when the Trojans went 10-2 with a much less experienced squad.  Make not mistake about it, if SC has another 7-6 season, those rich alums who’s daddy’s own Hotel Figueroa will be withholding their donations until Kiffin is replaced.  Here’s what Haden had to say in case you missed it….

Lakers point guard Steve Nash will be given an honorary tryout with storied European soccer franchise Inter Milan this week.  For a guy that’s 40 years old, and coming off hip, hamstring, and back issues, this feels like a bad idea.  Nash even claimed that he isn’t 100% healthy yet, which makes this decision seem dumber than Johnny Manziel’s decision to attend a UT frat party.

Speaking of dumb, former Lakers center Andrew Bynum claims that he “hasn’t had the opportunity to play for a city that is really just gonna stand up and really support the team.”  Bynum recently signed a 2 year deal with the Cleveland Cavaliers.  I guess Andrew doesn’t remember all the support the fans gave the Lakers during their recent back to back championships, especially since he wasn’t even healthy enough to be on the court for most of it.  Andrew’s going to be pretty disappointed to learn that the fans in Cleveland don’t actually “stand up” because there isn’t much to cheer about.  Especially since they live in Cleveland.

Over the weekend my long time friend Pam Chiu told me a classic LA Clipper story.  Recently, Pam and her friends were at a restaurant in LA, when Blake Griffin and Deandre Jordan walked up next to them.  Since NBA players look like aliens from outer space when seen in a public place, it was pretty hard for her not to notice these two dudes that were two feet taller than her.  Pam looked up at Blake and said “Wow, you guys are really tall.  Um….are you guys race car drivers?”  There you have it folks.  When a Laker player walks into a restaurant, everybody knows who they are.  When a Clipper player walks into a restaurant (even the most popular player in franchise history), people ask who the hell they are.  I bet you Pam got her table before Blake and Deandre did too.

In a recent poll by Travel and Leisure Magazine, San Francisco was named the snobbiest city in America.   As someone who actually lived in San Francisco, this makes perfect sense.  That city is so snobby because it is made up of a number of different types.  There is the “leftist snob”, who wouldn’t vote for anyone other than a 3rd party candidate.  There is the “gay snob” who only supports establishments owned by individuals from the LGBT community.  There’s also the “organic snob”, who is known for interrogating the vendors at Farmers markets about the exact origins of their seeds.  Keep in mind, for all the crap Los Angeles and Orange County receive for being snobby places to live, LA didn’t even end up being in the top 15, and no city in Orange County made the list.  So to all my friends living in San Francisco, New York, Chicago, and DC, your cities are much snobbier than mine!

July 22nd, 2013

The Dodgers entire outfield was healthy for exactly 8 innings.  It was a spectacular 8 innings though.  The Boys in Blue swept the Nationals in our nations capital over the weekend after a 9-2 victory on Sunday, and are now just .5 games out of first place in the NL West.   Matt Kemp led the way with 3 hits and 3 RBI’s, including a solo home run in his first game off the disabled list, but then rolled his ankle on a stupid play in the 9th inning. The injury could have been avoided if he hustled running from 3rd base to home plate.  This is baseball Matt….it’s not sex with Rihanna.  You’re supposed to hustle going from 3rd to home.

Kemp doesn’t seem to be injured too badly, but the Dodgers shouldn’t even think about trading one of their outfielders at this point.  Kemp, Carl Crawford, Andre Ethier, and Yasiel Puig have shown they can be great players for stretches of time when they can stay healthy.  The problem is they never are, and they’ve been one the disabled list as frequently as Kim Kardashian is seen dating a black guy.  There should be plenty of at bats for all 4 of these guys the rest of the season, and having all of them is a nice luxury for a Dodger team that can afford it.  LA is on a roll, winning 20 of their last 25 games.

Meanwhile, the Angels looked good for a couple of nights before getting shut down by 1st place Oakland.  Even more frustrating is the fact that they were shut down by former Angel, and now 40 year old pitcher Bartolo Colon.  The Angels are 10 games back with the trade deadline approaching in 10 days.  That would appear to make them sellers, but then again, what exactly do they have to sell?  Any takers for Josh Hamilton and his $125 million contract?  Probably not.  Maybe the Halos can trade their general manager Jerry Dipoto for a general manager that can actually acquire some pitching.

As for Bartolo Colon, how has nobody suspect this guy of using HGH or some other performance enhancing drugs?  The guy is 40 years old, in his 15th year in the league, and he’s on pace for career highs in wins and ERA, and could very well win the AL Cy Young.  I’ve always believed that the heavy set Colon would dominate anyone in a pie eating contest.  Clearly, he’s now baking the HGH into his pies.

Lakers owner Jim Buss was interviewed on NBA TV last week and explained that when signing free agents this year, “we picked players that fit and can run Mike D’Antoni’s system.”  That tells me that either the Lakers are trying to tank, or that Buss learned nothing from watching last season.  The Lakers were 17-25 when they tried to run D’Antoni’s ridiculous system, yet finished 28-12 when they slowed things down and controlled the tempo.  I often wonder what Jim Buss is like when he goes to the race track to bet on horses.  Does he always bet on the slowest horse to win?  I hear he wasn’t very good at it.

The Kings named former player Rob Blake assistant general manager last week to replace the departing Ron Hextall.  Blake may be qualified for the job, but on multiple occasions in his career, he has shown a complete disloyalty to the franchise that drafted him in the early 90’s.  This included stripping himself of his captaincy in 2001 while in the midst of a contract dispute, which is like spitting in the face of your teammates and fans.  I’m not sure why the Kings are showing so much loyalty to the man that’s turned his back on the franchise so many times.  That’s like a battered house wife going back to the dude that keeps beating her.  I’m curious to see if Blake gets booed when introduced on opening night in October.

Speaking of the NHL, the new divisional realignment is unbelievable.  They actually named one of the divisions in the Eastern Conference the “Metro Division”.  So if your team plays in this division, does that mean you have to manscape before every game?  Leave it to commissioner Gary Bettman to screw up something like this.  I also like how nearly all the teams in the Atlantic Division play in the North East.  Maybe Bettman could come up with something a little more sensible like uh…..”The Northeastern Division”.

The Dallas Cowboys opened training camp in Oxnard last week, and owner Jerry Jones said that the NFL “is closer than ever” to returning to Los Angeles.  I still find this very hard to believe.  LA has had two separate stadium proposals that are ready for construction for quite some time now, but need a commitment from a team to start the project.  Seems to me that the NFL and its owners want a team in Los Angeles a lot more than anybody that lives there.  If that’s the case, then they should give LA an expansion team, and the league should finance most of it.  How come nobody asked Jerry Jones when NFL Football will be returning to Dallas?

At this point, can we stop with the idea the Phil Mickelson isn’t clutch?  The story was kind of funny a few years ago, but after taking the British Open yesterday, he now has 5 major victories.

So Edward Snowden is supposed to leave the Moscow Airport in a few days according to his lawyer.  Has he actually been in the airport this whole time?  I’ve been stuck in an airport for 10 hours before, and I nearly lost my mind.  This guy has to be hating his life after spending weeks there.  If anything, he probably needs asylum from all the crappy airport food he’s been eating.  I’m sure he’s tried just about everything in the food court as this point.

Finally, memo to those of you protesting the verdict in the George Zimmerman trial:  take your protests away from the 10 freeway entrance!  Some people actually need to get to work and make a living while you guys piss and moan.

July 15th, 2013

Giants manager Bruce Bochy has lost his mind.  Since Yasiel Puig was called up in June, the Dodgers have had the best record in the National League, and he’s easily been one of the best players in baseball. Still, Bochy is determined to keep this guy off the NL All-Star team.  Bochy started his little scam by throwing Puig’s teammate Adrian Gonzales on the final roster spot ballot so they would split votes.  Then, when the winner Freddie Freeman was injured, he selected catcher Brian McCann instead of Puig, when he already has two catchers on the roster!  I’m still trying to figure out how Puig lost the fan ballot, but the fact that the MLB didn’t release the final totals make this fishier than a crate full of cod.

Then again, keeping Puig out of the all-star game will prevent him from further damaging his reputation for being an ass to the media.  Puig says he’s been bothered by the numerous interview requests he receives on a daily basis, and feels that it has been a distraction to him.  I guess this must explain why his batting average has “plunged” to just under .400.  Puig has set aside time for a collection of reporters to answer their questions on a daily basis.  Although he’ll have to learn that granting interviews is part of his responsibility as a star player, the evil 4 letter network believes that they are too important not to have one on one interviews granted to them.  Sadly, ESPN has become like Facebook: everybody needs them, but everybody complains about them.

As for the Halos, it was a disastrous ending to a disastrous first half of the season.  They head to the all-star break losers of 5 of their last 6 games after getting swept by the Mariners.  I’m still baffled as to why Mike Scioscia continues to send Joe Blanton to the mound every 5 days so this guy can get rocked.  He’s on pace to lose more than 20 games in spectacular fashion, and Josh Hamilton is still about as useless as a pork sandwich at a Jewish picnic.  It probably would have made more sense for the Angels to hang on to Ervin Santana, who could at least be a .500 pitcher at the back of the rotation for the same price.   The Halos are 10.5 games back of first place, and the climb is stepper than Mount Everest from here.

When the Lakers said goodbye to Metta World Peace this week, it was strictly a cost cutting move. The Lakers will save $15 million by waiving World Peace, but they lost one of their best defenders, and easily the most entertaining player on the team.  This is the same guy who wore his game uniform to a night club after winning the championship in 2010.  This upcoming season will be a nightmare for the Lakers, so having him on the team would at least provide some entertainment value for the fans and the media.  My favorite Metta moment was his post-game news conference after game 7 of the NBA Finals in 2010, here’s a look back:

Meanwhile, the more I hear details about how Dwight Howard left the Lakers, the more happy I am he is no longer in LA.  Last week, ESPN LA’s Ramona Shelburne reported that Dwight actually asked the Lakers if they would consider amnestying Kobe Bryant at the end of the season, so they could build the team around him.  So let me get this straight, Dwight Howard has never won a championship, has been in town for less than a full season, and is asking for the Lakers to get rid of one of the greatest players of all time?  Dwight does realize that Kobe has 5 NBA championships and he has none right?  I’m sure at that point, Mitch Kupchak and Jim Buss probably laughed in Dwight’s face and told him to get lost.  Even Kobe Bryant never asked the Lakers to get rid of Shaq in 2004. It was Dr. Buss who decided to get rid of him, and then begged Kobe to stay after that.

I can’t tell you how disappointed I was to learn that American 100 meter record holder Tyson Gay test positive for a banned substance, and will likely miss this years track and field world championships.  Gay claimed that he put his trust in someone else, and that person let him down.  Sorry Tyson, but this is the type of crap I expected to hear out of a major league baseball player, not you.  If you are a professional athlete, your job is to keep your body in great shape, and know exactly what substances are going in and out of your body.  It’s also not very surprising that Jamaican sprinter and former 100 meter world record holder Asafa Powell test positive for a banned substance too.  The Jamaicans have one of the most pathetic drug testing programs in the world, and it’s only a matter of time before world record holder Usain Bolt is caught.

If you ever get the chance to go see Bob Saget do stand-up comedy, please do.  I got the chance to see him in Irvine on Saturday night, and he was definitely laugh out loud funny.  Much of his humor revolves around his experience with other cast members of “Full House”, and embarrassing stories each of them were involved in.  At 58 years old, Saget has now become a dirty old man, but is quite entertaining.

Last week I mentioned how amazingly bad the SyFy channel was, and “Sharknado” on Thursday night lived up to this reputation.  The best part about the movie was reading all of the comments on twitter, which generated a record 5,000 tweets per minute at one point.  I thought the only thing that could ever break twitter was if Kim Kardashian dated Tim Tebow, however, after Thursday I stand corrected.  I love how SyFy is already talking about a sequel because of the audience it received.  The concept was crazy though.  I mean Sharks and Tornados?  Early in the movie, when Ian Ziering came home and Tara Reid wasn’t having a gang bang with 10 NFL quarterbacks, you knew the movie was totally unrealistic!

July 8th, 2013

I can’t believe I’m going to say this.  If Kobe Bryant heard me say this, he would probably punch me in the face, then give me his death stare.  The Lakers need to tank next season.  If you want to be really good, at some point you have to be really bad for a year, and next year is the year to do it with Andrew Wiggins as the top player available in the 2014 draft.   The Lakers will struggle just to make the playoffs next year, especially with Kobe recovering from his achilles tear.  Getting the 8th seed will do no good when the Lakers get raped in the first round, as opposed to having a few extra ping pong balls in the lottery.  This is exactly how the Spurs got Tim Duncan in 1997.

Meanwhile, the Lakers have almost no free agent options left after Dwight Howard’s departure.  The team can’t even amnesty Metta World War because there are no decent small forwards on the free agent market.  The Lakers should just bring back Sasha Vujacic, Lamar Odom, and put up with the Kardashian drama for another year before re-tooling next summer.

As for Dwight Howard, one has to wonder how badly the Lakers really wanted him back.  They were willing to hang on to Mike D’Antoni, who will probably be fired in a year anyway, than make Dwight happy.  They were also willing to let Kobe give Dwight a good scolding during the presentation.  I admit it, Dwight is a pussy, and couldn’t handle the pressure in LA.  However, he was a cornerstone that would put the Lakers in a much better position moving forward.  In any case, have fun running your air conditioning in Houston Dwight.  By the way, after all this Dwightmare nonsense, does anybody know if Dwight is two syllables or just one?  Is it just “Dwight”? Or “Da-Wight”?  Either way, Shaq thinks he’s a pussy……

Yasiel Puig and the Dodgers have jumped back in the NL West race in no time.  The Dodgers are now in 2nd place in the division, after taking two of three from those liberal, crab sandwich eating, San Francisco Giant bastards.  Has anybody tried to rent an apartment in San Francisco?  It’s no wonder everyone is gay because everyone is so used to taking it in the ass every month when they pay their rent.  Anyway, I hope everyone has voted 25 times or so for Yasiel Puig.  This dude needs to be in the all-star game because he’s been one of the best players in the National League so far.  Even though Adrian Gonzales has had a nice season and deserves some votes, LA wouldn’t be back in the race without Puig.

Phillies closer Jonathan Papelbon is a douchebag.  He thinks it’s a joke that Puig could be in the all-star game after just a month in the majors.  I guess Papelbon was in the clubhouse eating fried chicken last weekend when Puig and the Dodgers beat the crap out of his ball club.  By the way, in a month and half, Puig has played about 7 times the amount of innings Papelbon has.  Too bad Papelbon can’t even pronounce Yasiel Puig’s name right.

The Halos are creeping up in the AL Wild card standings as well.  After taking two of three against Boston, the Angels are now just 5.5 games back in the wild card race.  Mike Trout is rolling, and Josh Hamilton finally looked good with a big walk off home run on Saturday night.  This feels terribly similar to last seasons rally after a slow start, only to fade at the end of the year.

Really tough blow for the LA Kings this weekend, as they lost free agent defenseman Rob Scuderi.  Scuderi signed with his former team, the Pittsburgh Penguins, and sighted family reasons for his decision.  The good news for LA is that they’ll still have one of the best defensive groups in the NHL next year because Willie Mitchell appears to be healthy after sitting out the year with knee trouble.  Meanwhile, the Ducks make a crafty move, trading Bobby Ryan to the Senators for the equally productive, less expensive, and less whiny Jacob Silfverberg.

So who is looking forward to the World Cup in Brazil in 2014?  Over the weekend, in a Brazilian soccer match, referee Jordan Silva pulled a red card on Josenir Santo Abreu, ejecting him from the game.  The confrontation between the two escalated, and eventually Silva stabbed Abreu in the chest with a knife.  Abreu died on the way to the hospital, and the referee was stoned to death and dismembered back at the field.  What color card does that get?  The World Cup should go really well.

Every 4th of July, I find myself falling out of my chair laughing at the Nathan’s Hot Dog eating contest on Coney Island.  Joey Chestnut won his 7th hot dog eating contest, by slamming a world record 69 hot dogs in 10 minutes.  Dude, when I eat 1 hot dog, I consider having a 2nd one, and then after I do, I know it was a terrible decision.  I can’t even imagine trying to slam 69 of them.  Since 2008, Chestnut has actually eaten 380 hot dogs, while over the same stretch, the Houston Astros have only won 377 games.

Finally, has anybody actually stopped and watched the SyFy Channel?  The entire channel has to consist of some of the most terrible movies of all time that never made it to theatre.  We’re talking garbage like Lake Placid 2, Anaconda 3, and those dumb Shark movies that try to copy Jaws.  These things definitely need some celebrity drunken commentary to make them watchable.

July 1st, 2013

The Dwight Howard sweepstakes has “officially begun”.  However, does anybody really think that Dwight does not already know where he’s going?  This dude has had almost a full year to think about where he wants to go, and knows exactly what each team is offering.  Do you really expect me to believe that one of these teams is going to “convince” him of where he’s going?  If you do, than you are more naive than teenage girl.  According to Hoopsworld writer Alex Kennedy, the Rockets are now “cocky” because they are so confident they will land Howard.

Meanwhile, the Lakers have shown their pathetic desperation to keep Dwight by posting billboards all over town.  This is the kind of crap they would do in Cleveland or Orlando, but should not be doing in LA.  What’s next?  A song coming out this week pleading him to stay?  This lame piece of work was put together in Orlando:

There have been some rumors circulating that the Lakers may be prepared to fire Mike D’Antoni since they have yet to allow him to hire any more assistant coaches, and since Kurt Rambis’ name came up as a potential addition to the staff.  It’s an interesting theory, but if the Lakers were serious about keeping Dwight, they would have already fired D’Antoni, and assured him that Phil Jackson would be coaching the team.  In 2004, the Lakers had traded Shaq prior to trying to convince Kobe to re-sign with the team.  Even then, Kobe was on the verge of leaving the Lakers, before eventually coming back.  The Lakers recruiting plan is worse than the European debt plan.

Chris Paul’s free agency will be rather uneventful, which is great news for the Clippers.  In typical Chris Broussard fashion, he is reporting that Lebron James’ sources have informed him that sources close to Paul saw them at a club with Drake last night, and he received a call in the morning, saying that he will be re-signing with the Clippers.

The NBA draft is a joke.  How are teams that are starving for talent supposed to improve themselves when they are forced to select completely underdeveloped players?  Nobody is tall anymore, but instead, certain players “have great length”.  Nobody is a great player, but instead, some players “have great upside”.  On Thursday night, all I heard was 3 hours of Jay Bilas talking about wingspans.    It’s no wonder teams like Sacramento, Charlotte, and Detroit have been picking in the lottery for years yet are still in the league’s basement.

Very quietly, the Dodgers and Angels are starting to make moves.   The boys in blue are a little bit healthier, and they’ve now won 8 of the last 10 games, moving just 4 games back of first place Arizona in the NL West.  Yasiel Puig has been hotter than a whore house on nickel night, and added 4 more hits yesterday.  He finished his first full month in the majors with 44 hits, which is 2nd only to the legendary Joe DiMaggio.  Just think how good the Dodgers could be if Matt Kemp could pull his shit together?  This isn’t the most well put together ball club, but at least they are back in the playoff race.

As for the Halos, they’ve won 6 straight, and are 7.5 games back in the wild card race.  Although the team still has a big climb ahead of them, their pitching hasn’t looked like dog crap for the first time all year.  The bad news is that Peter Bourjos is going back on the disabled list because of a fracture below his right wrist, and Josh Hamilton is still fairly useless.

The Kings and Ducks had a very anti-climactic NHL draft, but things should get interesting this week.  LA is moving closer to a deal with defenseman Rob Scuderi, who is a vital part of their stellar defensive core, but Scuderi will have to take a discount to fit under the cap.  The Ducks locked up veteran defenseman Ben Lovejoy earlier in the week, but need to figure out what’s going to happen with Teemu Selanne.  Selanne’s annual retirement dilemma has made him the Brett Favre of the NHL.

The Aaron Hernandez murder trial has once again, made me question the long term health risks to playing professional football.  Can taking all those hits make you dumb enough to kill somebody when you are a multi-millionaire with a fiancee and an 8 month old daughter?  It seems clear the answer is yes.  Nevertheless, the Patriots did a commendable job of releasing Aaron Hernandez before even letting the justice system take its course.

Has anybody tried the “Monkey Style” Burger at In-N-Out?  I’ve always been a fan of the secret menu at In-N-Out, but only recently did I discover this item on that menu.  I’ve gotta admit, I was skeptical at first, but Animal Style fries in your burger make it that much better.  I was afraid I’d die of a heart attack from all the cholesterol, but it was definitely amazing.

I recently decided to see if all this hype about AMC’s Mad Men was justified.  I’m only through the first 4 seasons, but I have to admit, it’s a bit of a let down.  Since I’m already this far, I’m committed to watching the last two seasons, but the show is just too slow, and the characters aren’t interesting enough.  I completely understand the appeal of the 60’s, especially to the Baby Boomers, however, the show just repeats the same themes of adultery, sexism, and alcoholism in Don Draper’s life.  With no other interesting characters, these themes get a bit old after 4 seasons.   The show is also only focused on the white privileged wall street folks in that era as well, which leaves the show without enough depth.