June 19, 2017

Now that the Warriors have won the title and assembled what’s going to be a tyrannical dynasty for the next five years, NBA super teams are about to go to a whole new level.  This starts and ends with whatever Lebron James decides.  Rumors are swirling that he’s going to leave the Cavs in 2018 to join either the Lakers or Clippers.  Lebron has clearly expressed an interest in playing with his banana boating buddies before his career ends, but ultimately, he needs to decide if playing with his buddies and living in a better city is more comfortable, or winning championships.  Lebron, CP3, Carmelo, and Dwyane Wade still aren’t going to beat the Warriors, and it would be that much tougher playing in their division.  If Lebron is really serious about adding more rings, he’d stay in the East and figure out a way to team up with All-NBA players like Kawhi Leonard and Russell Westbrook.  Still, it sounds more and more like he’s LA bound in 2018, and given CP3 and Carmelo’s likelihood of landing with the Clips this summer, it gives them the upper-hand getting Lebron next summer.  By the way, check out this interesting stat.  As Alabama football goes, so does Lebron……

The NBA Draft is already getting wild after the Celtics traded the #1 pick to Philly over the weekend.  Boston wants Josh Jackson, but it would be great to Magic screw Danny Ainge and the Celtics by taking him with the #2 pick.  However, Lonzo Ball is the guy the Lakers should take with that #2 pick. Shooting and ball handling can be improved upon by every NBA player, but you can’t teach the intangibles and leadership that Lonzo will bring to the table immediately.  The Lakers should also feel pretty good about the fact that suddenly, more and more players are interested in joining the franchise again.  In addition to Lebron’s rumored interest, Paul George has informed the Pacers he’s leaving in 2018, and prefers the Lakers, and Damian Lillard said if he ever left the Blazers he’d strongly consider the Lakers.  It’s clear that the new Laker leadership is very appealing to stars around the league.

Speaking of leadership, the Clippers shocked us by getting Jerry West to join them as a consultant last week.  Every team West has joined, he’s rebuilt from the ground up due to his greatness as a talent evaluator.  The Clips don’t have any draft picks to work with, so how West guides them from here will be a huge challenge.  The biggest issues with West’s hiring for the Lakers, is that it means they will likely lose the talented Ryan West, Jerry’s son, from their front office.  The Clips are also making headlines by attempting to build a new arena in Inglewood.  Despite all this, it would be extremely “Clipper-esque” of them to make these moves and then lose Chris Paul and Blake Griffin in free agency in a couple of weeks.  I still think both of them are re-signing, but when Adrian Wojnarowski says that there will be meetings with other teams and that both are going to look at their other options, I’d be a lot more nervous about losing them if I were the Clips.

Did you watch the ESPN 30 For 30 on the Lakers and Celtics rivalry? It was spectacular.  It’s funny how we have all forgotten that early in Magic’s career, he was actually booed by Laker fans for getting Paul Westhead fired.  We also forget some of the horrible crunch time mistakes that Magic and James Worthy made in the ’84 NBA Finals against the Celtics.  I still have no idea how LA managed to lose that series.  They had so much more talent and we’re a far better team.  The Lakers never disrespected the Celtics the way they disrespected the Lakers.  I also still feel horrible for Jerry West, who lost eight straight times in the finals to Boston.  You can tell how much it bothers him to this day.  Finally, there were some horrible trades in the 1980’s! The Jazz gave the Lakers the pick that gave them Magic.  The Cavs gave the Lakers the pick that gave them Worthy.  The Sonics gave the Celtics the pick that gave them Len Bias (despite his tragic passing).  It’s almost like every NBA team had Andrew Friedman working as their GM at the time.

The Reds took more abuse from the Dodgers over the weekend than Tiger Woods took from his ex-wife beating him with a golf club.  Cody Bellinger is looking like one of the best power hitters in baseball.  With 19 home runs coming into Sunday, only Gary Sanchez had a better 49-game start to his career.  Sanchez is only a couple of years into his career so it’s hard to benchmark Bellinger against him.  I’m not sure if Bellinger is among the likes of Mark McGwire, Frank Robinson, and Albert Pujols, or among the likes of James Loney and Lance Niekro.  In all likelihood he’s probably somewhere in between complete greatness and complete bust.  He’s certainly helping the Dodgers more than I thought this season, but they still need pitching.  Then again, so does every contending MLB team.  There’s just no real quality pitchers out there that can make a difference.  For those of you that say Alex Wood is an ace, let’s see if you still feel that way come October when LA actually has to give him the ball to start playoff game.

I’m not a big fan of over-analyzing the MLB draft, but considering the Angels have one of the worst farm systems in baseball, their latest draft has to be criticized.  Considering the Halos have one of the best players in the history of baseball playing on their team, they should take advantage of that.  Instead, they spent their 1st pick on Jordon Adell, an outfielder who probably won’t make it to the big leagues before Mike Trout hits free agency in 2020.  Also considering the fact the Angels have no good young pitching, it’s disappointing that two of their first three picks were not pitchers.  However, considering that the one pitcher they did pick, Santa Margarita and UCLA product Griffin Canning, has injury concerns in his back, he should fit right in with all the other injured Halos pitchers.

So we’re actually going to get a Mayweather vs McGregor fight? The only thing dumber than this fight is the people that actually spend money to watch in on Pay-Per-View.  Floyd Mayweather will probably receive a $10 million bonus if he can read one page of a Dr. Seuss book during the weigh in.  This is what boxing has become.  A sport that has absolutely no star power anymore.  A sport where nobody can even identify who the heavyweight champion of the world is.  The sport is dying, and in order to save it they are giving us a boring fighter coming out of retirement against a guy who doesn’t even box.  Some are saying that it’s not the fight that’s going to be entertaining, but all the talk we will have leading up to it.  Those people must really enjoy funerals, because we might as well be talking about the death of what was once a great sport between now and then.

Finally, the Bachelorette will return tonight on ABC, but the real headlines have been made over the last week with the taping of The Bachelor in Paradise.  As many of you probably heard, taping was suspended over some alleged sexual misconduct between the infamous Corrine and the infamous DeMario.  I will spare you the details of this encounter since this is a family blog, however, keep this in mind.  If you have watched The Bachelor and The Bachelorette none of this is “allegedly” surprising.  Is it hard to envision Corrine engaging in wild drunk behavior and passing out? Nope.  Is it hard to envision DeMario as a total player who feels “entitled” to any woman he wants and engaging in that type of behavior?  Nope.  Once this all gets sorted out, bring everybody back and safely resume the taping.  We all watch this stuff because it’s like watching a live train wreck on television.  ABC wants drama and they got it, so let’s bring it back and not complain.

June 12, 2017

I’m really looking forward to the NBA Finals ending tonight.  Then we can finally stop this ridiculous idea that the Cavs have the Warriors right where they want them.  It took the best first half in NBA Finals history for the Cavs to actually win a game from Golden State.   That’s not likely to happen three more times, and even more unlikely to happen tonight at Oracle Arena.  However, when the Warriors do win, I hope we don’t have to hear that Kevin Durant is the best player in the world for the next year.  Kevin Durant has to do nothing more than sweep the floor and make his bed.  Meanwhile, Lebron James has to sweep the floor, make the bed, make the breakfast, and feed everyone too.  Only Paul Pierce would come up with such a ridiculous idea that Kevin Durant is the best player in the world, especially since he declared himself the best player in 2008 after the Celtics beat the Lakers.  He must have thought Kobe died.

These NBA draft rumors have gotten really annoying.  The Lakers are trying to spread these rumors that they might not really take Lonzo Ball, and could be taking Josh Jackson instead with the #2 pick.  This reminds me when I was a kid and I was on a really long road trip with my mom, dad, and sister. My sister and I would be fighting in the back of the car when my dad turned around and said “if you kids don’t stop fighting I’m going to turn this car around now and go home!”  Sure you are dad…..after 14 hours in the car, I’m sure you’re just going to turn around.  These are the same empty threats the Lakers are making to Lavar Ball.  They are essentially telling him “if you don’t settle down we aren’t drafting your son.”  We all know the Lakers are taking Lonzo Ball so just stop it already.

Speaking of the Lakers, Luke Walton said something I’ve been preaching on Jock Talk LA for a year now.  That is that the Lakers shouldn’t be willing to trade a whole bunch of talent for one superstar because it’s going to take multiple stars to compete with the Warriors for the next four years.  In other words, now is a really good time to rebuild, so why not just stick with the youth? In fact, I would argue that there aren’t even 3 All-NBA players that can be combined that would beat the Warriors.  That’s the reality of the NBA right now.  At least the Lakers have a handful of young players to rebuild with.  In the case of some teams, they might as well not even bother showing up to work for the next five years.

The Dodgers beat up on a crummy Reds team over the weekend, but the Colorado Rockies aren’t going away in the NL West.  The worst part about it is the players that could be available at this year’s trade deadline are laughable.  LA needs starting pitching and the players being talked about include Oakland’s Sonny Gray and Chicago’s Jose Quintana.  These pitchers are nothing more than middle of the rotation starters that are nothing more than .500 pitchers without much of a post season track record.  The Dodgers have 6 Jose Quintana’s on their roster right now, so why give up prospects for one more? This is just another reason why Dodger fans shouldn’t be very optimistic about their chances come October.

The Angels took advantage of an injured Astros team over the weekend, but Houston has already won the division and we aren’t even at the end of June yet.  Mike Trout has been out for two weeks and it feels like the Halos are a mediocre team with and without him.  Everyone always considers Mike Scioscia one of the best managers in baseball, which is probably true, but it’s still shocking that he’s kept his job so long.  The Halos have made the playoffs one time in the past seven years, and haven’t won a playoff game in 8 years.  Scioscia is still living off of the World Series Championship of 2002, because any other manager, no matter how great, would probably have been fired by now.  Then again, by now it seems to be clear that the Halos are in the business of selling tickets rather than in the business of winning baseball games.

Congratulations to the Penguins for winning the Stanley Cup last night after defeating the Predators in game 6.  I’d like to point out that the Penguins are actually the 2nd team in the cap era to win back-to-back Stanley Cup Championships in a FULL NHL SEASON.  You may have forgotten that the Kings won the cup in 2012 and 2014, while losing in the conference finals in the lockout shortened 2013 season.  Gary Bettman makes Donald Trump look popular.  It’s too bad the officiating in that game was horrible last night and cost the Predators the right to play in a 7th and deciding game.  Bettman should have handed the MVP award to the referees rather than Sidney Crosby……

The recent resignation of Oklahoma football head coach Bob Stoops was definitely noted by the football programs of Notre Dame, UCLA, and even USC.  Notre Dame’s Brian Kelly is definitely on the hottest seat entering the 2017 season.  However, UCLA has underachieved recently under Jim Mora Jr, and it wasn’t all that long ago that everyone was questioning whether or not Clay Helton was the right guy for the Trojans.  Considering USC has such high expectations, I wouldn’t be shocked to hear his name attached to the program if the team struggles.

Although the results are going to be very anti-climactic, I’m very excited to know that LA will likely be awarded the Summer Olympic Games of 2028, while Paris gets the games of 2024.  Although LA could be ready for the Olympic Games next week if necessary, by 2024, hopefully terrorism will have been eradicated by then.  Security will be the biggest issue for both of those cities, but hopefully people won’t have to think about that 7 years from now, and just focus on the beautiful celebration that the Olympics should be.

Finally, the Bachelorette won’t have any new episodes until June 19th.  Going back to last week, I subscribe to the conspiracy theory that Lucas and Blake were buddies who pretended to be enemies to get more camera time on the show.  For that reason, I was glad that Rachel sent both of them home at the same time.  One of my favorite parts of the episode was seeing Corrine and Rachel’s friends from The Bachelor give their opinion on some of the guys.  Not only did Corrine not say anything during the entire show, but it looked like she was falling asleep (again!) at the mud wrestling bar.  Eric is sure to get thrown off the show soon just for being too emotional.  Poor Fred was stressed out over his relationship with Rachel, which eventually got him kicked off the show.  Meanwhile, Peter was relaxed and slamming a burrito after his one-on-one.

June 5, 2017

Remember after Thursday night when the Warriors destroyed the Cavs and you told yourself “it’s only one game”? After last night’s Warrior win, you’re probably telling yourself, “The Warriors just defended home court, it’s no big deal.”  I said this was going to be a short series, and I’ve seen nothing to make me think differently.  Lebron hasn’t been this upset since he found out Delonte West was sleeping with his mom.  He knows the Cavs are in trouble. It doesn’t matter if Riley Curry  is coaching the Warriors, or Steve Kerr.  Adding Kevin Durant to this team was simply unfair.  They are so good that the Cavs actually think giving up dunks and layups is a better strategy than giving up 3-pointers.  Actually, the best thing about the first two games was the beef between Durant and Rihanna, as well as Jeff Van Gundy getting distracted by her on the broadcast.

Speaking of Durant, Doc Rivers suggested that there is something wrong with KD signing with the Warriors for “anybody that’s competitive.”  I think what Doc really means is that it’s just tough that KD didn’t join the Clippers.  Doc’s only championship came courtesy of a super team in Boston.  The NBA has always had super teams like the Lakers, Celtics, and Bulls, yet nobody complained about it.    The league isn’t in bad shape when there is a dynasty in place.  In fact, it’s actually thrived.  Great players want to win championships to cement their legacy.  When they don’t win them they get crucified.  Now that KD wants to win multiple titles and took less money to do so, he shouldn’t be criticized for it.  If it was Doc who was coaching this super team, I’m sure he’d be telling you how great super teams are for the NBA.

There has been much discussion about Jerry West’s desire to return to the Lakers as a consultant, and finish his career where it started.  West revealed last week that it’s not going to happen.  Actually, West indicated this back in February, even before Magic Johnson was put in charge of basketball operations.  So before you go blaming Magic for this, keep in mind that this has everything to do with a conversation that Jeanie Buss must have had with West prior to that.  Given how great of a talent evaluator West is, and how important drafting is these days, I’m surprised LA couldn’t find a place for him.  Speaking of evaluating talent, I don’t believe the rumors that the Lakers aren’t sold on drafting Lonzo Ball.  Only by leaking that information will they be sure that he works out hard for them, and the same with other prospects coming in to work out for the team.  It’s also a reminder to Lavar Ball to “Stay In Yo Lane.”

The Stanley Cup Final looked like it wasn’t going to be competitive after the Penguins routed the Predators in the first two games, but Nashville is starting to make things interesting again.  However, anybody that watches this series has to be wondering: who the hell comes to a hockey game with a dead catfish in their pants, holds onto it for 2 hours, then throws it on the ice?  I don’t think there’s a dry cleaners in the world that can get that fish stench out of your clothes.

Congratulations to 28-year-old Alex Faust, who was named the LA Kings new television play-by-play man.  He’ll be joining long time analyst Jim Fox in the booth.  It’s usually difficult to follow a legend like Bob Miller, but the Kings followed the Dodgers’ example of hiring a young and upcoming voice, when they hired Joe Davis.  However, even though the Kings have both Faust and Fox in the booth, they might be “F’ed” on the ice.

For the last year I have said that the Rams need a better offensive line before I can judge whether or not Jared Goff can play.  Now I’m not so sure anymore.  Last week head coach Sean McVay suggested that Sean Mannion might actually give the Rams a better chance to win football games.  In other words, McVay is suggesting that the trade to get Goff was a total disaster, and that the kid just can’t play.  When the old coaching staff suggested this it wasn’t a big deal.  However, now that McVay is suggesting it there could be a problem.  If the Rams are bad this year and end up with a top pick in next year’s draft with a ton of quarterback talent, they better not pass up a QB just because they have so much money invested in Goff.

I fail to understand why the Dodgers won’t let their pitchers go more than five innings.  It’s actually much worse than that now, as they’ve been pulling their starters after four innings.  Do Dave Roberts and Andrew Friedman provide their starters with baby bottles and burp them in between innings as well?  Using your bullpen for 6 innings a night is a sure way to burn them out come October, when the success of your bullpen is critical.  I know the Dodgers have some frail guys in their rotation that are injury prone, but this is no recipe for success.

Congratulations to Albert Pujols, who hit home run #600 on Saturday night at the Big A.  15 years ago, this accomplishment would have been more celebrated.  However, now that we know that we had an entire era of steroid users, fair or unfair, it’s hard to know just how real Pujols’ 600 home runs are.  It’s sad that we have to ask ourselves this question, but in reality, most people are.  When Arte Moreno signed Pujols, which also feels like 15 years ago, he envisioned that the chase for 600 home runs would sell out the Big A on a nightly basis.  That wasn’t the case, and the decision to sign Pujols make you wonder whether Arte’s decision making is being driven by winning or by business and marketing.

Maybe Tiger Woods needs to party again to get his game back? If that’s the case, then he’s just one Perkins waitress away from being great again.  Maybe Donald Trump will appoint him as the head of the Department of Transportation now.  Tiger made a very poor decision to get behind the wheel after excessive use of prescription drugs.  There’s no reason for someone like that to not have transportation in this day and age.  However, let’s not forget how much the media sucks.  Last week, tons of media members jumped the gun by reporting that Tiger got a DUI for having too much to drink.  It turns out that alcohol wasn’t even involved at all.  I’d love to see Tiger become great again, but when his DUI is the most athletic thing he’s done in years, it’s probably not likely to happen.  I guess I’ll just have to resort to having fun with him like the media…..

Finally, the drama of The Bachelorette is in full effect after last week’s episode.  DeMario was clearly the story of the last episode once his ex-girlfriend showed up.  That girl definitely looked unstable, but he also looked like a liar by saying “who is this?” when she showed up.  I’m sure he won’t get another chance, but I can’t be critical of a guy who just broke up with his girl days before the show, while the girl he’s chasing is still dating 25 guys.  If Peter didn’t have that gap in his front teeth, I don’t think Rachel would like him.  That connection is too strong.  My orthodontist told me my character would be just fine after fixing the gap in my front teeth.  That pickup basketball game that was played was the worst display of basketball I’ve seen since the first 3 rounds of the NBA playoffs.  Even Ashton Kutcher is really confused as to why Lucas is still on the show, and even more confused as to what exactly “Whaaaboooom” is.  Looking forward to more drama on tonight’s episode.

June 1, 2017

Jason Castro delivered a 2-run single in the 9th inning to rally the Twins past the Angels 4-2 on Thursday night at the Big A.

The Twins also turned their first triple play in 11 years.  It happened in the 4th inning with Albert Pujols at 2nd and Yunel Escobar at 1st.  Jefry Marte hit a bouncer to third baseman Miguel Sano, who stepped on 3rd to get a force out, threw to Brian Dozier at 2nd base, whose relay to first base completed the triple play.

The Angels two runs came on a pair of solo home runs from Kole Calhoun.  One came in the 6th inning and the other came in the 8th.  Calhoun now has seven home runs this season and three multi-homer games in his career.

Sano also hit a solo home run in the 2nd inning off of Alex Meyer to give the Twins a 1-0 lead.  That was the only run Meyer would give up in 6 innings of work.  He gave up 5 hits, struck out 4, and walked 2, departing after 84 pitches.

The Angels took a 2-1 lead into the 9th inning, but rallied against Jose Alvarez (0-2) who took the loss.   Jorge Polanco reached when first baseman Jefry Marte dropped his popup for an error with one out. Eddie Rosario followed with a double, and Castro singled them both in to give Minnesota a 3-2 lead. Bud Norris walked in a final run.

Taylor Rogers (3-1) pitched the 8th inning and got credit for the win.  Brandon Kintzler got the last three outs for his 14th save.

The Angels and Twins will do it again on Friday evening at the Big A.  JC Ramirez (5-3, 3.38 ERA) gets the ball for the Halos.  The Twins will go with Kyle Gibson (1-4, 7.85 ERA).

May 29, 2017

So the Warriors and Cavs will be playing for the NBA Title for the 3rd year in a row.  Who could have seen this coming? Oh that’s right…..everybody!  The playoffs haven’t been competitive, so I’m sure everyone is hoping that we’ll finally get a great series to end things.  However, that’s not going to happen.  The Warriors should just hold a fan contest with the winner coaching the team for the NBA Finals since it doesn’t matter who coaches them.  Golden State should win in 5 games.  Last year it took a Draymond Green suspension, an injury to Steph Curry, and a historic performance from Lebron for the Cavs to win.  This season, not even a great performance from Lebron can stop the Warriors, and especially not with the addition of Kevin Durant.  The games might be somewhat close, but the series won’t be.

Being an NBA reporter these days is easy.  Apparently all you need to do is come up with some suggestion and everyone will consider it a fact.  That’s what ESPN’s Zach Lowe did when he suggested the Spurs should try to sign Chris Paul this summer.  Apparently not many stopped to consider the fact San Antonio doesn’t even have the cap room to give Paul the supposed 4 years and $153 million max contract they could give him.  At the moment it’s mere $6 million a year they can offer.  However, just for a second, I’ll play along with the rest of you that forgot to use their brains.  Even if the Spurs could somehow come up with a max contract for CP3, and somehow maintain their current roster (totally impossible), they still wouldn’t beat the Warriors or Cavs.  CP3 is 32 years old, and isn’t leaving an extra $53 million on the table to go sign with a team that is far from a favorite to win the NBA title.  I guess this story is what counts for good journalism though.

Speaking of CP3, former NBA Commissioner David Stern played revisionist history a few days ago when it came to the the trade he famously vetoed in 2011.  Stern claims that the trade could have been re-worked but Mitch Kupchak “panicked” and traded Lamar Odom to Dallas prematurely, destroying the possibility of a deal.  These are some cute alternative facts Mr. Stern, but we know you are just blaming Kupchak to preserve your own legacy, especially since Kupchak is too classy of guy to even respond.  The trade never should have been vetoed in the first place.  It was simply the result of Stern succumbing to the pressure of 28 owners in the league complaining that the Lakers making this trade was unfair.  Apparently those other owners were unhappy that at the time, the Lakers were smart and they had money.  Meanwhile, they considered themselves stupid as well as poor.

After the Ducks were eliminated by Nashville last week, I’m sure Kings fans were lining up at the airport to greet them back at LAX to congratulate them on their loss.  That means the Predators and Penguins will be playing for the cup beginning tonight.  If you learn nothing else, just remember, it’s called “The Stanley Cup Final” and not “The Stanley Cup Finals”.  If you’re planning on going, you should probably go to games in Nashville, where it will cost you a minimum of $300 a ticket to get in, where in Pittsburgh it will cost you at least $1,000 to get in the building.  Plus in Nashville you’ll get some quality BBQ.  The real question in the series though is who will get the award for best actor: Sidney Crosby or P.K. Subban? I’m going with Crosby, but I’m also going with the Penguins in 6.

I know most of you are going to tell me that the Dodgers just told me to “shut the hell up” after taking 5 out of 6 games from the Cardinals and Cubs.  They were nice wins, but remember, it’s not always who you play but when you play them.  The Dodgers just caught the Cubs in an offensive slump that is so bad, high school seniors scored more at last week’s Prom than Chicago has of late.  If Brandon McCarthy, Alex Wood, Hyun-Jin Ryu, and Kenta Maeda actually stay healthy and pitch that way come October, then I’ll actually be impressed.  In the meantime, the Dodgers have their work cut out for them just trying to overtake the Rockies in the NL West.

The Angels are a perfect example of why baseball is just a weird game.  They have a bunch of nobodies pitching for them on a nightly basis, who have given up more home runs than any other staff in the league.  They are also in the bottom third of most offensive categories in the American League, consistently putting 3-4 guys in their lineup that can barely hit .200.  I wouldn’t even think Mike Trout’s greatness could overcome this.  In spite of all this and losing 4 of their last 5 games, they are still in the thick of the AL Wild Card race.  Hopefully Trout doesn’t miss any time with that thumb injury he suffered yesterday.  Imagine how much better the Halos would be if Albert Pujols lived up to his contract?  He typically reaches the maximum annual social security contribution limit ($118,000) after his 1st at-bat in every game.

Browns quarterback Brock Osweiler must be pursuing a new career as a comedian.  Osweiler claimed that the “proof is in the film for the last two years” that he should be Cleveland’s starting quarterback.  The only thing more hilarious than his comments was the tweet by former NFL wide receiver Steve Smith that showed his reaction……

I know I’m old and washed up! He has a ring I dont blah blah, But which exact film is he Referring to it must be on VHS https://t.co/e8RnZIPhCQ

— Steve Smith Sr (@89SteveSmith) May 24, 2017

What a huge missed opportunity by Italian Cycler Tom Demoulin.  Despite the fact that he became the first Dutchman to win the Giro D’italia, he blew a huge marketing opportunity.  Earlier in the week he had his lead in Stage 16 narrowed after pulling off to the side of the road to go to the bathroom.  Sorry Tom, I realize having to go to the bathroom while riding a bike isn’t all that comfortable, but when you are in stage 16 you go to the bathroom in your pants, explain it to the media, then you’ll have Pampers or an adult diaper maker calling you the next day for a sponsorship.  Instead, he gave this explanation….

Finally, The Bachelorette is back and the season premier went down last week.  After just one episode I can already tell that this season won’t be nearly as entertaining as the last season of The Bachelor, especially without Corrine.  I did enjoy her 30 second cameo appearance at the beginning of the show though.  Rachel Lindsay’s judgement is already in serious question, given that  “The Tickle Monster” and Lucas (a.k.a.- “Wahboom!”) have been given roses.  Meanwhile, Blake K got sent home, apparently for being the most normal and successful guy on the show this season.  It seems to me like all the brothas on the show are actually there to marry Rachel, while all the other guys are just there to launch their reality TV career.  For all those guys on the show that cried after getting sent home after 1 episode, you should have your man card revoked immediately.  Wahboom!

May 22, 2017

I don’t know why you guys are so surprised the Lakers got the #2 pick in the draft.  Lavar Ball told us that it was going to happen.  The only guy who doesn’t understand what’s going on is Joel Embiid, who is still trying to understand the lottery.  If the Lakers do actually keep the pick and not trade it, they should absolutely take Lonzo Ball.  For those of you that don’t want to because of Lavar, it’s simply because you have been hanging around AYSO or Little League with helicopter parents.  Those parents don’t matter in the NBA or in professional sports.  They become irrelevant over time.  What the Lakers do have to worry about though is the Celtics taking Ball, or even trading the pick to somebody who wants him, just to screw the Lakers.  It would be a very Boston Celtic thing to do.

That wasn’t the only good news for the Lakers last week.  The All-NBA teams were announced, and Paul George did not make it, increasing the likelihood of him not re-signing with the Pacers.  At this point, George isn’t even hiding his desire to join the Lakers, and seems confident that he can resurrect the franchise.  George was on with Jimmy Fallon last week and didn’t deny anything, which can’t make the Pacers feel too good.  As for All-NBA and the media determining the outcome, they should, even if an extra $76 million is on the line.  If it were up to the owners and coaches, they strategically wouldn’t vote for certain players so they would have a better chance to leave in free agency.  Besides, great players will go wherever they want to play.  Kevin Durant left $100 million on the table last year to leave for the Warriors.

Lavar ball is going to get some bad press for his heated discussion last week with Fox Sports One’s Kristine Leahy.  However, this was one incident in which both Lavar and Kristine were wrong.  Since when does Kristine actually ask guests questions on Colin Cowherd’s show? This was nothing but Leahy trying to make a name for herself by being confrontational, but in all the wrong ways.  As for Lavar, he once again demonstrated his lack of business acumen by failing to suggest that the “Big Baller Brand” will not cater to women, and that they don’t need to.  They actually have women’s T-shirts on their website that he didn’t even mention.  No reason to give people a reason to hate your brand when you are trying to build it.  In case you missed the exchange, here it is.

The Dodgers took 3 out of 4 from the Marlins over the weekend and Cody Bellinger is still hotter than   the Sahara desert.  However, the bad news is that their stud pitcher Julio Urias has been getting destroyed.  It’s bad enough that the Dodgers are being as cautious with him as you would be with a newborn baby.  On top of that’s he’s just not that effective right now.  No matter how hard you try to convince yourself, the Dodgers don’t have any real reliable starting pitching beyond Clayton Kershaw when it matters.  That’s why Urias needs to get on track if LA hopes to have any real chance come October.  He has the highest ceiling and the most talent of anybody on the roster after Kershaw.

The Angels had a rough weekend in New York against the Mets, but they are somehow still hovering around .500.  Even more encouraging is the fact that Doug Fister is joining their starting rotation.  You’re wondering why that’s encouraging? Because when your #1 starter is Ricky Nolasco, adding Doug Fister feels like you just signed Nolan Ryan.  Maybe now they will find a 2nd baseman and a left fielder that can hit better than .200.

Things are looking bad for the Ducks.  They are now one game away from elimination after the Predators beat them at the Honda Center yesterday.  This series has featured more injuries than a United Airlines flight.  Ryan Getzlaf has suddenly remembered that he’s the old guy Ryan Getzlaf, and the Predators are a little better in goal and on defense.  This series might go seven games, but Anaheim looks like a strong bet to lose in the conference finals again.  Meanwhile, parking pass prices are rising for game 7, as Kings fans are buying them in hopes of witnessing the Ducks fans crying while leaving the Honda Center.

Tom Brady is going to be endorsing a new DB11 Aston Martin.  The new car costs $211,000 , which is an amount that many of his teammates probably can’t even afford.  Brady will also be designing several limited edition models that will be sold for $300,000.  There will only be 12 of those made available to the public.  If you can afford it, as long as those cars don’t say “Patriots” all over them, you probably want one of those.  It will be one of the few cars that actually appreciate in value.  For those of you that hate Tom Brady for his perfect life, now you can hate him even more.

In the latest Harris Poll annual brand report, Five Guys was named the Burger Brand Restaurant of the Year, eclipsing In-N-Out, which has won the award twice before.  This poll is the biggest scam I’ve heard of in years.  Five Guys is nationwide, while In-N-Out is on the west coast, skewing the poll drastically.  In-N-Out serves more customers in 1 hour than Five Guys does in one day.  Five Guys has no drive thru and it’s twice as expensive.  The next time someone tells me that Five Guys is better than In-N-Out will be the first.

May 15, 2017

Don’t worry Laker fans.  Tuesday isn’t that big of a deal.  It’s ONLY the entire future of the organization at stake for the next five years determined by a couple of ping pong balls.  The have a slightly less than 50% chance of keeping their 1st round pick this year, which has to be in the top 3 for it to belong to them.  With those kind of odds, I’d feel better if PWC and Warren Beaty were involved in the lottery, because it might actually improve the Lakers’ chances.  Somebody usually gets screwed every year.  Hopefully it’s not the Lake Show.  If they do end up keeping the pick though, I’m thinking they will try like hell to trade that pick for an all-star caliber player.

Then there’s the Clippers and their dilemma about what to do with JJ Redick.  The 32-year-old sharp shooter is seeking $18-20 million a year for his new contract.  Even if you love Redick as a player, trying to convince your owner to spend that much money on a player like him is like your wife trying to convince you to pay $700 for some pair of designer shoes that she can wear with one outfit. Those shoes will make your wife look nice, but you’re going to pay that much so she can look great every now and again with her one outfit? Redick is nice player, but there’s only one thing he can do great, and that’s shoot.  It’s a nice thing to have in your lineup, just like it’s nice for your wife to have those shoes in her wardrobe, but not at that price.  We are talking about the NBA though, so somebody is probably going to be dumb enough to pay the price for him.

As for the rest of the NBA playoffs, the Spurs missed their chance to steal the momentum against the Warriors yesterday.  Golden State was rusty and San Antonio let that chance slip away.  The Warriors are so good that not even Mike Brown coaching them against Greg Popovovich can prevent them from winning.  As for the James Harden disastrous performance against the Spurs, superstars can have bad games in the playoffs, but nobody repeatedly has the body language and disinterest in big games that Harden has had the last couple of years.  He reminds me of the dude you work with who is sitting in the meeting and looking at his watch every 5 minutes because he’s just punching the clock and doesn’t care about the final result.   Next time he should book his vacation plans later in the summer instead of during the playoffs.  There’s also a great new Shaq and Kobe NBA 2K commercial.  Nice to see these two playing nice these days.

What would Monday Morning Coffee be without an update on Lavar Ball? The latest outrageous comment to come out of his mouth is that his son doesn’t need advice from Kobe Bryant, and that Lonzo will not take his game and “pattern after nobody”.  The real stupidity in his comment that nobody is talking about is how this will impact his “Big Baller Brand” business.  Kobe Bryant’s followers are cult like, and frequently threaten to impound your car, riot, and then demand that you are ejected from the universe if you say anything bad about The Black Mamba.  Whether or not Lonzo plays for the Lakers, he still needs to sell sneakers.  Kobe fans buy sneakers, and they sure won’t be buying Lonzo’s new sneakers after The Mamba was dissed.  Lavar and his brand just lost a big potential customer.

After 38 games, here’s what you need to know about the Dodgers.  15 of their 22 wins have come against teams under .500.  The are just 7-9 against teams over .500, so they aren’t very good against real teams.  Also, of their 7 losses to teams under .500, 4 of them have come against one of the worst teams in baseball, the Giants.  Remind me again why you people are excited about the potential of this team? The best thing about the Dodgers is Clayton Kershaw and Cody Bellinger.  The worst thing is Andrew Friedman and his data driven approach that has proven nothing in a big market.

Then there’s the Angels.  Remember when we thought the Halos would have no problem scoring runs? Well in 12 of their last 20 games, they’ve been held to 3 runs or less.  It’s not hard to figure out why either.  When you stick three guys in your lineup regularly that can barely hit .200, you aren’t going to get much production.  Is Billy Eppler really incapable of finding a better left fielder or 2nd baseman?  I know Mike Trout is the greatest player since the Dinosaurs roamed the earth, but not even he can make up for the rest of the stiffs hitting around him.  I’d also like to thank Garrett Richards for his stupidity in not having Tommy Johns surgery last summer, resulting in him “hoping” he’ll be back from his latest arm injury in September.  It’s going to take this guy 3 years to get his body right instead of the 1 year it should have taken.

That Anaheim Ducks playoff game was really something last night.  The Ducks had such a bad start to the game, they showed up even later than their fans usually do.  They were also fortunate that Nashville goalie Pekka Rinne managed to play like he took a few too many shots of tequila at J.T. Schmid’s Brewery across the street prior to the game.  That series looks like it will go 7 games. The NHL also has absolutely no shame in it’s choice of sponsors.

I can’t believe that we have to wait two more months for the first half of the final season of Game of Thrones!  Maybe what they really meant by “Winter Is Coming” is that it’s going to take so long to get to the last season that global warming might actually put us into another ice age by the time we get to see it.  I’m looking forward to it, but given the pace of the show so far, I have a hard time imagining that we’re going to get a satisfying conclusion to the show in another 12 episodes or so.

May 8, 2017

Hey Andrew Friedman….do you still want to send Cody Bellinger back to the minors? I didn’t think so.  Bellinger is hotter than the sun right now, and he’s the only reason the Dodgers snapped out of their early season slump.  Two Dodger stories from last week made me want to throw my laptop out the window.  The first was the idea that the Dodgers need to send Bellinger back to the minors to control his future cost.  If the Dodgers think that way, they are failing to understand that guys like Clayton Kershaw, Kenley Jansen, and Justin Turner, won’t be great forever, and that there is a window to win with them.  The other story that annoyed me was the suggestion that the Dodgers have the best pitching staff in the big leagues because they haven’t invested too much money in any single starter, except Clayton Kershaw.  This is a cute strategy until October, when you don’t have any real starting pitchers to get you through the playoffs.

I don’t know about you, but I’m shocked the Angels haven’t collapsed like the United States Congress.  How are they still hovering around .500, yet they are in the bottom third of nearly every critical offensive and defensive statistical category in the American League?  They are counting on dudes like Ricky Nolasco, Jesse Chavez, and JC Ramirez to go to the mound to get them victories.  They’ve had four guys in their lineup getting regular playing time of late hitting .200 or less.  I don’t even think the greatness of Mike Trout and Mike Scioscia can overcome this.   I think staying in the race has more to do with how terrible Texas and Seattle have been than anything else.

Let’s talk NBA playoffs.  Due to human rights concerns the NBA should suspend the remaining portion of the Eastern and Western Conference playoffs, and just give us Warriors vs Cavs.  The NBA’s motto is “NBA Cares.”  If they did, they would just give us the finals already.  The Warriors and Cavs are so much better than everybody else, there’s a very reasonable case to be made that 26 other teams in the league should tear it down and rebuild.  This is how Drake feels after his Raptors got bounced by the Cavs for the third straight year.

Lonzo Ball’s new “Big Baller Brand” sneakers will be sold for $495.  For that price I can go hire an Asian child to make unlimited pairs of his shoes.  I did hear however that 3 pairs of shoes have already been pre-ordered.  That means that “Big Baller Brand” has tripled their sales forecast.  As much fun as it is to make fun of the price and Lavar Ball, he really may turn out to be a genius.  If Lonzo ends up going to LA or New York, he gets a marketing boost right there.  Ultimately though, Lonzo has to be a star player and if he is, then what looks like a ridiculous bet on his son now may prove to pay off.

Just when you thought it was the Oilers who choked against the Ducks, now it looks like Anaheim is the real head case after losing game 6 last night.  Don’t worry Ducks fans, if you lose game 7 at home for the 5th year in a row on Wendesday, your playoff tickets can be redeemed at Zales for “choker” necklaces, in honor of your annual collapse.  I have to say though, up until last night Ryan Getzlaf has played like he’s Jesus Christ rising from the dead, and looked like one of the greatest players to ever lace up a pair of hockey skates.  The bad news for Anaheim though is that they now have 3 whole days to think about their past playoff failures before taking the ice again, which can’t be good for their chances.  I guess we’ll find out if the issue was coach Bruce Boudreau from the last four years, or if they just aren’t able to ever meet the moment.

The Kentucky Derby was won by “Always Dreaming”, which is a horse that must have been named after the Rams playoff chances.  I can definitely relate to that horse that jumped out of the gate and just said “nope” and stopped running.  He probably belongs in a rodeo instead.  The derby is easily the biggest group of white rich guys assembled since the Trump cabinet.  How could you not root for “Patch”, the one-eyed horse?

Did anybody watch the Canelo Alvarez – Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. fight? This is exactly why boxing is dying.  That was the best fight the sport could give us, in what will probably be the only big fight of the year.  Canelo is so savage, he didn’t even sit down between rounds for the entire fight.  Since most of you probably missed the fight, here is a quick recap….

May 1, 2017

The Clippers should be totally embarrassed the way the Jazz eliminated them in game 7 yesterday.  They lost 3 times at home in a seven game series.  Role players are supposed to play well at home, and the Clips role players disappeared like houdini.  JJ Redick couldn’t even get his shot off, yet somebody is going to pay him $20 million next season.  Jamal Crawford is making $14 million and was nowhere to be found for much of the series.  The Clippers “depth” is actually more shallow than Howard Stern, and that’s what really needs to be addressed in the offseason.  However, based on what we’ve heard from Steve Ballmer and Doc Rivers, keeping this team together is up to Chris Paul and Blake Griffin.  Unless the Spurs get creative with their salary cap, their probably isn’t a better place for CP3 to go.  As for Griffin, he seems uncertain whether or not he wants to stay, and the Clippers don’t seem confident in his return.  In any case, a 1st round loss in 7 is probably better for the Clippers own self perception, instead of getting swept by Golden State.

Meanwhile, the Lakers and their fans are going to be sitting on pins and needles between now and the NBA draft.  First they’ll be anxiously awaiting May 16th, which is the day they find out if they keep their top 3 protected pick.  Should they keep it, it becomes a huge building block for the future, or a very valuable trade asset.  The Laker will also be awaiting the announcement of the All-NBA teams, which they hope will not include Paul George on the 3rd team.  If it does, then there’s a much stronger likelihood that George remains an Indiana Pacer because he can be offered an extension around $220 million, which no other team can match.  How would you like to be Rob Pelinka and Magic Johnson right now?  This means that their success as executives for the next 3-5 years might just be determined by luck in the next two months.  Who could blame someone for being superstitious?

Is it too early for the Dodgers to panic? Probably not.  They just faced the worst team in the National League for four games, and could do nothing more than split four games with them.  Even their sweep against Philadelphia were unimpressive.  The rotation is so underwhelming after Clayton Kershaw.  For the last week Dave Roberts was pretending like Brandon McCarthy was the 2nd coming of Don Drysdale.  Then he looked mediocre on Saturday against the Phillies.  Now they’ll probably pretend like Alex Wood is the next Sandy Koufax.  To make matters worse, Adrian Gonzales doesn’t have any power, yet for some reason, the teams plans on sending Cody Bellinger back to the minors in a few days.  I’m not analytics guy, but I think hitting three home runs in your first week of Major League Baseball is pretty good.

As for the Angels, why didn’t Garrett Richards just have Tommy Johns surgery? He’s going to be out until near the All-Star break, and then who knows if his arm will even hold up after that.  Meanwhile, Andrew Heaney is probably going to be back in the rotation before Richards ever gets healthy again.  I’ve gotta admit though, the Angels are playing better than i thought.  It makes you think if they can stay in contention by the trade deadline, maybe reinforcements will be on the way.  However, then you realize they don’t even have the prospects to make an impact trade.  Even if they did, would it be worth it at the risk of further damaging the health of their top pitchers? The Halos need to get their young and most valuable pitchers healthy before continuing to give some “half a deck of cards” effort toward contending.  Otherwise, they really are wasting Mike Trout’s best years.

On the ice, good thing for the Ducks they won last night.  Their fans were probably having a hard time deciding whether to buy tickets to the next round, or buy a season pass at Disneyland.  The Oilers are far less intimidated by Anaheim than the Ducks thought they would be.  They also have one of the best players on the planet in Connor McDavid.  As for the NHL Draft lottery, it was crazy.  The Devils, Flyers, and Stars ended up with the top 3 picks.  To put that in perspective, the Devils had the 5th worst record, and an 8.5% chance to get the top pick.  The Flyers had the 13th worst record, and the Stars had the 8th worst record.  That means Colorado, Vancouver, Vegas, and Arizona got screwed out of good draft position after having horrible seasons.  Good thing the NHL uses E&Y.  PWC has declared La La Land the winner of the NHL Draft Lottery.

The Rams might have a new coach, but it still didn”t prevent the front office from keeping their annual tradition of draft day foolishness.  Last year, it was trading a boatload of draft picks for Jared Goff.  This year, they did not select a single offensive lineman in the draft.  That’s right folks.  The Rams had one of the worst offensive lines in the NFL last year, and did very little about it, other than 1 free agent signing.  Without a decent offensive line, I have no idea if Goff can actually play, or if Todd Gurley is good running back or not.  It’s arguably the most important position to build your team around, and the Rams have neglected it for two years.  Here comes another horrible year.

I can’t make fun of the Chargers too much for their draft, because they actually did a great job.  That’s unusual when you talk about the Bolts.  The bad thing for the Chargers is that they didn’t draft a quarterback to start grooming a successor for Philip Rivers.   Also, before you start naming the Chargers as 2017 AFC Champions, keep in mind that they still play in one of the toughest divisions in football, and will have to contend with the Raiders and Chiefs.

As for the rest of the NFL draft, Myles Garrett is on suicide watch after being draft by the Browns.  Cleveland is probably counting on a local radio contest to decide who is their starting QB in 2017.  Colin Cowherd said it best…..the NFL draft is like planning a wedding.  You start out by saying “We’ll keep it small baby, family and friends, it’s just about us and our love.”  Then three weeks before the wedding you have 300 guests, most of them business colleagues and family you hardly know, and you pay $200 for each of those charger plates underneath the plate you actually eat off of.  You do this all because you saw it at another wedding several months earlier.  NFL teams have a plan, and then they are pressured by what other teams are doing.  I guess nobody learned from the Rams stupidity last year.

Finally, ESPN has fired so many people, they had the Rocky statue covering part of the NFL Draft.  Everyone is pointing to the fact that their content is becoming more political rather than sports oriented.  However, this has nothing to do with their issues.  The customers motivation to cancel cable has killed ESPN after the billions they spent on broadcast rights fees for the NFL, NBA, and MLB.  Eventually the current cable model will be destroyed, but in the meantime, this is going to hurt cable companies and eventually sports teams.  Still, ESPN is making the cuts that are an absolute must.  If Andrew Friedman were in charge, he would have fired Linda Cohn, Max Kellerman, the legacy staff, and sent the LA SportsCenter crew to Miami.  Is it too soon for this logo?

April 24, 2017

It’s become an unfortunate annual tradition for the Clippers.  How do you know you get injured a lot? When your injuries eliminate you from the postseason even before the Clips are eliminated.  Sure enough, it happened again in game 3 vs the Jazz.  Even after losing game 4, and even after sending out a missing person alert on JJ Redick, as long as Chris Paul is on the floor the Clippers are still probably going to win this series.  However, it’s only delaying the inevitable annihilation they will take from Golden State.  The bigger question everybody wants to know about is the future.  Well for those of you saying that keeping an injury prone Griffin and keeping the band together isn’t ideal, it’s also better than the alternative.  That alternative is going back to being one of the most pathetic franchises in the NBA, which the Clips were for decades.  Doc Rivers is wrong that his team is close to winning, but he’s right that keeping the team together is what they should do.  Whether Steve Ballmer wants to foot the bill for this remains to be seen though.

The NBA just announced that the Celtics were not the #1 seed in the Eastern Conference heading into the playoffs, but instead, they were the #1 seed in the WNBA playoffs.  That team is much further away from winning anything than most people thought.  The bad news for the Lakers is that the Bulls success in this series make it more unlikely Chicago will trade Jimmy Butler.  Meanwhile, Carmelo Anthony is now taking losses on and off the court, after separating from his wife, LaLa.  I guess nobody wants to be around ‘Melo these days since Phil Jackson wants him elsewhere too.  The Grizzlies and Spurs are now locked up in a great series, and that’s thanks to the rant from Memphis Coach David Fizdale.  In case you missed it after game 2, it’s an all-timer……

Let’s go to the ice, where the Ducks swept away the Calgary Flames in their 1st round series and are ready to take on the Oilers in round 2.  Anaheim did more damage to the Flames than the Canadian dollar in the last few weeks.  Things are setting up perfectly for the Ducks, taking on an inexperienced team they should have a nice advantage against, and then potentially taking on a Predators or Blues team, who are not nearly as talented.  If the Ducks don’t get to the Stanley Cup Final, their fans should go jump off the top of the Magic Castle at Disneyland.

As for the Kings, they promoted John Stevens as their new head coach on Sunday.  Stevens is a well respected voice in their locker room, but doesn’t seem like he’s too far removed from what Darryl Sutter did.  It would be a decent hire if you like what Darryl Sutter was doing of late.  I don’t.  It would also be a decent hire if the Kings had really good young players to develop.  They don’t.  They need to re-invent they wheel, but they just don’t know it yet.

I respect people’s right to protest, but I don’t see how New England Patriot players skipping a trip to the White House to be honored for winning a Super Bowl is sending any kind of message.  The President, regardless of how you feel about him, is taking the time to honor you for your accomplishments.  If the player doesn’t want to be honored, then it’s their loss.  As for Aaron Hernandez, sad to see the downward spiral of his life, and him ultimately taking his own life.  I still don’t understand how he wasn’t convicted of that second murder.  I guess the entire O.J. Simpson jury was assigned to that case as well.

I don’t know why anybody is really surprised that the Dodger pitching staff is falling apart.  They are finally getting exposed for what they are: a bunch of injury prone, unreliable veterans, who are making way more money than they should be.  Now that they actually have decent teams in their division like the Rockies and Diamondbacks, we are just noticing their flaws earlier in the year instead of when they get exposed in October.  Andrew Friedman claims that starting pitching is one of the most overvalued positions in baseball.  The only thing overvalued is Friedman’s front office work.  Let’s see if he feels that way in another couple of weeks when the team continues to scramble to find somebody other than Clayton Kershaw to give the ball to.  I’m pretty sure trading for Ryan Braun isn’t the answer either.

If it wasn’t for facing a terrible Blue Jays team and a couple of miracle wins in the first week, you would already realize the Angels are a bad team.  Did somebody tell Mike Scioscia that the Halos are supposed to be tanking to get the #1 pick in the draft?  It sure seems like it since he keeps insisting on sticking Jefry Marte in the lineup with his crummy defense.  Scioscia claims that the Angels need his bat, but apparently he didn’t notice that Marte was hitting .179 coming into Sunday.  Don’t forget about Danny “Mendoza Line” Espinosa, whose batting average is so consistently low, you can never tell if he’s in a slump or not.

I was under the impression that the Raiders were no longer a Mickey Mouse franchise in the NFL, but apparently I was mistaken.  Instead of re-signing 27-year-old running back Latavius Murray, who had a nice season last year, they are replacing him with a 31-year-old Marshawn Lynch, who has been sitting on his couch eating skittles for the last year.  Apparently their justification for this is that Lynch is from Oakland, so he should give the local fans a reason to show up to their games.  Those same local fans they will be leaving behind in a year or two when they move to Vegas.  With the NFL draft later this week, hopefully the Rams and Chargers don’t have any of these stupid moves planned themselves.  You know….something as stupid as trading a boat load of draft picks for Jared Goff.

Finally, People Magazine named Julia Roberts the most beautiful woman in the world last week.  Which world are they talking about?  I initially thought that the writers of People Magazine gave up common sense for Lent.  However, upon further examination I realize that this is the 5th time this has happened!  Apparently we are still in the year 1991.