February 18, 2019
Entertaining NBA All-Star game last night. Why was I not surprised to see Team Lebron dog it for more than half the game, only to start caring in the 2nd half? Of course everybody was having the time of their life except Kevin Durant, who was probably tweeting from his burner account while he was on the bench. Kawhi never smiles, but I’ve never seen the man grin so much over the course of one evening. Ben Simmons must have felt more awkward than a junior high school girl with all those 3-pointers being shot by everyone else. I’m also shocked that Kyle Kuzma won the MVP of the Rising Stars Game. I thought Jayson Tatum was the greatest player of all-time according to all Adrian Wojnarowski’s Celtic sources. I’m not a huge Meek Mill fan but the time halftime show was 10x better than that of the Super Bowl. Take note NFL.
In just over a month the perception of the Lakers has completely changed. Suddenly everyone thinks Magic and Pelinka are idiots, Luke Walton should be coaching a women’s 8th grade team, the young core should be playing in the WNBA, and Lebron should be traded. After most of you take a Xanax, maybe you’ll come back to earth and gain perspective. Just because you’ve never done a job before, doesn’t mean you can’t be great at it. Magic, Pelinka, and Walton are all taking on new roles for the first time in their careers. That means they are going to make mistakes, but eventually grow. Just like Lonzo, Ingram, and Kuzma are all going to get even better. You just have to give it time, even if that doesn’t sit well with Lebron. Even Magic can learn from his mistakes though, which he showed a few days ago when asked about Kemba Walker. Prior to this the man seemed to have no sense of self-awareness when it came to tampering.
Last week Steve Ballmer told ESPN that he wouldn’t sell the Clippers for $80 billion. It’s that kind of stupidity that makes me realize why this man no longer runs Microsoft anymore. If that’s the case then why doesn’t he just move the team to Seattle? Let’s be honest, if he did, there might be 10 people in LA that actually care that he did, and Seattle would finally get the team it deserves. Some of you are arguing that the Clippers are a free agent destination because nobody wants to deal with the Lakers circus and Lebron drama. However, none of those free agents would want to be a second fiddle star in a town Lebron owns.
Spring training has started and we’re still waiting on two of baseball’s best players to be employed. That got me wondering if things would be any different if Mike Trout were on the free market. Although it only takes one stupid team to give Machado and Harper a big contract, there aren’t a number of teams lining up for their services at their asking price. I don’t get the feeling that even Mike Trout would change that. Teams have convinced themselves that star power isn’t a franchise changing quality, and Trout has already shown that not even his greatness can lead an Angels team to a title. On the other hand, this may actually help the Halos keep Trout beyond 2020 if the market for him isn’t very deep.
Meanwhile, Andrew Friedman is at it again playing PR Guy. Last week he claimed that the Dodgers have a chance to be an elite team, and that they have no weakness. I guess they have no weakness, except for the fact they have an analytical fool running their front office, a pair of catchers that hit like little leaguers, and a TV channel that nobody can see. This franchise is committed to being just not good enough. It’s remarkable really. However, Stan Kasten knows all about that from his continuous playoff failures in Atlanta.
It’s been two weeks since the Super Bowl. Will we ever find out what happened to Todd Gurley? Sean McVay has been more evasive about this topic than Ted Bundy slipping out of jail. I refuse to believe that Todd Gurley just suddenly started playing like garbage. The man was one of the best running backs in football all season, and suddenly McVay barely uses him in the most important game of his life? If this wasn’t a health issue, the Rams have a much bigger problem on their hands considering they just paid Gurley $40 million guaranteed.
Another episode of The Walking Dead went down last night on AMC. Spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to see it, so read no further if you plan on watching it later. This was one of those episodes where I found myself wanting to reaching into the TV and strangle Henry for all the stupid things he was telling Lydia. I think it’s time for Carol to make him “look at the flowers.” They needed Negan to come back and interrogate Lydia with Lucille. Alpha isn’t playing around. She strangled some dude with her bare hands just 43 days in the apocalypse. If Lydia wants to know Daryl’s story she should binge watch the last 8 seasons. Daryl was eating worms before it was cool. I’m not sure I can even eat Gummy Worms after watching that. Alpha’s backstory is kind of like Carol’s, only Alpha is a little more psycho. She says she wants her daughter back. I’m surprised she doesn’t want a wash cloth and skin care products instead. Very good episode and looking forward to more next week!
Finally, The Bachelor returns to ABC tonight. I feel like all the virgin references in the show have been replaced by Colton saying “that’s my greatest fear.” It’s gotta be tough for him to figure out which of these 22 year old Instagram models isn’t ready for marriage. I think Bachelor Nation is way more excited to see Colton jump over the fence than lose his virginity. I was also excited to see Colton send Nicole and Onyeka home after all their drama. I like how Demi said she was going to take Colton’s virginity, but Colton basically told her that I’m going to take you off the show. I am rather upset that we won’t get to meet her mom during hometowns though. Demi and Jordan are going to make a great Bachelor In Paradise couple. This season proves that if you are blond, a size 4 or smaller, unemployed, and a human with an instagram, you have the opportunity of a life time. Next time Hannah makes an animal sound I’ll be ready to call the police. Gott love how the runner up from Miss USA just said that Hannah G has relied on her looks her whole life. I’m a little paranoid that we didn’t see Cassie on the hometown previews. Hopefully it’s just the show playing mind tricks on us.
