July 5, 2021

There is much to get to in the 4th of July weekend edition of MMC starting with the Clippers. The Clips made it further than they have in the history of their franchise before getting eliminated by the Suns. They did so without their best player, so it has to be considered a successful season. They also gained a lost of respect with their resiliency compared to last season’s debacle. However, the sustainability of their success is solely dependent on Kawhi Leonard’s health, and if he re-signs with the team. This dude was actually weird enough to choose the Clippers instead of playing with Lebron and AD two years ago. You have to ask yourself the question if he’s weird enough to leave the Clippers when they are definitively championship contenders with him. Probably not, but nobody really knows this dude. If he starts taking meetings with Miami, New York, or Dallas, you should be worried. We’ll find out in a month from now. Pat Beverley is a punk for that shove he made on CP3, and then his weak apology when it was over. Beverley is clearly is a dude who washes his clothes in the sink. We did also find out how weird Steve Ballmer is. Imagine how crazy this guy would get if the Clippers ever won an NBA Championship.

Meanwhile, the Lakers and their fans will not let this idea of a Damian Lillard trade go. It only got worse when Dame showed up to a Sparks game and greeted Lebron warmly. Lillard is a superstar under contract for the next four seasons, and he hasn’t asked for a trade. Even if he did , the Lakers have a couple of dirty socks, Kyle Kuzma’s hair gel, and an empty can of Coke to offer. That won’t get a trade done when the Celtics, Warriors, and 76ers have much more to offer. Even the idea of trading for a player like Ben Simmons is preposterous for the Lake Show. The most important move the Lakers can make this summer is re-signing Dennis Schroeder. He’s currently their third best player and if nothing else, can be an asset used in a trade later if he doesn’t work out. Ultimately, if Lebron and AD are healthy though, everyone else is replaceable.

Well here we are at the NBA Finals I’m sure we all predicted: The Milwaukee Bucks vs the Phoenix Suns. I’m sure all the executives at ESPN and ABC are about to jump out of their windows knowing that this isn’t going to do much for the ratings. As for the matchup, I realize that every NBA champion is influenced by injuries that occur in a season. However, I have never seen a team like the Phoenix Suns get the kind of breaks they are getting. The Lakers, Nuggets, and Clippers have all had their best or 2nd best players hobbled by injuries during their series with the Suns, and Phoenix has taken full advantage. I can’t criticize them because the Jazz did not do so. Now they get a Bucks team that is going to have a hobbled Giannis. That’s another perfect opportunity for them to steal one more series, and an NBA title. I’ve got the Suns in 7.

Scottie Pippen is unbelievable. This feels like a preview of what Kevin Durant is going to be like in twenty years from now. In case you missed it, Pippen went on the Dan Patrick show and claimed that Phil Jackson is a racist for drawing up a game-winning play for Tony Kukoc at the end of a playoff game in 1994. Phil Jackson might have some racially insensitive tendencies, but it’s hard for me to imagine that this man, who was a head coach for over 20 years in the NBA, is a racist. Especially since I haven’t heard one other single player who has played for him say this about him. Scottie sounds angry and upset about the way he’s been portrayed since “The Last Dance” aired last year.

In baseball, the Dodgers are winning games but they have a mess on their hands with the Trevor Bauer situation. In case you’ve been living under a rock the past week, Bauer is being accused of sexual assault by a San Diego woman, and is now on administrative leave for the next week while the investigation takes place. I can’t sugar coat this: the allegations are bad if they are true. The media is also giving it to Stan Kasten and the entire Dodger organization right now in a “I told you so” moment, questioning if Bauer should have ever been signed. Kasten must think he works at USC, where this kind of stuff is swept under the rug all the time. That’s not the case here, as the media hammered him about it all weekend, and was not in the mood for his jokes. It is entirely possible that Bauer has pitched his last game as a Dodger if the findings of this investigation go badly. Even if they don’t and Bauer gets by on this one, doing damage control will be tough, and will continue to be tough for the entire organization. It’s going to get especially awkward a week from now when Bauer’s administrative leave is up and there is no conclusion to the investigation yet. Stay tuned for more drama on this one.

Speaking of the Dodgers, Mark Walter and Todd Boehly purchased a minority share of the Lakers – 27% – from Philip Anschutz. There is some real significance to this from a media perspective. Just when you think the cable model is about to crumble, the Dodgers and Lakers might join forces to form some media bundle for you to watch them both. Both of them currently have their own channel’s that are difficult to find outside of a cable subscription. The Dodger channel, Spectrum Sportsnet LA is still difficult to attain, even after it was picked up by DirecTV. At the same time, you may have noticed that the cost of streaming services is rising about as fast as your federal tax bill. You can expect the cost of either to go up in the near future with this move, because there will surely be an offering on both. What will you do now millennials? Double down on those illegal streams? Your move.

The Angels had a nice weekend of baseball against the Orioles, but they are still miles out of playoff contention. It’s actually quite frustrating. Joe Maddon says “We’re really close to being really good.” I’m assuming what he means by this is that they just need Mike Trout to return, then acquire three really good starting pitchers and three really good relievers. What’s especially frustrating is that Shohei Ohtani has emerged as a spectacular talent, and Jared Walsh is turning into a stud as well. So much talent, yet so little pitching. It’s remarkable really. It’s gotten so bad that the presumed “ace” at the beginning of the year, Dylan Bundy, is being demoted to the bullpen. They should have sold high on Bundy last year when he was pitching like a true number 1 starter. I’d say the Halos can be sellers at the deadline, but they really don’t have much to sell that’ going to be appealing to other teams. At best, right now this is a team that might be able to sell a few tickets with Trout and Ohtani, but no chance of winning anything at any point in the near future.

Now that the NCAA has been forced to allow their athletes to make money off their name, image, and likeness, Reggie Bush is speaking out. Bush said this week that he wants his Heisman Trophy back, and that he rightfully earned it. The bottom line is that nobody in their right mind, not even a UCLA homer, would tell you that Bush didn’t earn that Heisman Trophy. Simply because he accepted some cash or a car doesn’t change what he did on the field. He was special, and so was that entire USC team, which will always be remembered as one of the great teams in College Football History. No NCAA archaic rules will ever change that in the court of public opinion. With that being said, he absolutely deserves his trophy back, to have his jersey retired, and to be honored for what he accomplished. Still, it’s hard for me to imagine the NCAA re-instating him. The NCAA is trying to hold on to what little legitimacy and power they have left as an organization, and re-instating all the athletes like Bush who are in a similar situation, undermines that effort.

I’m ecstatic about the Summer Olympics that are coming up in 17 days, but was super disappointed that Sha’Carri Richardson is getting suspended for using pot. Richardson was the favorite to win the women’s 100 meter dash. We can sit here and tell you how archaic the World Anti-Doping Agency rules are, and how pot is not even a performance enhancing drug. We should also all feel terrible for Richardson that she lost her mom recently, causing her to resort to pot. With all that being said though, she’s been working for 4 years for this. She knows what she can and cannot put in her body. She knows she is going to be tested regularly. This is completely on her. At least we will be fortunate enough to see her run the 4 x 100 meter relay.

Finally, the Bachelorette went down last week on ABC and it’s back again tonight. The most obnoxious part of last week’s episode is that even though Thomas got the guillotine from Katie, what guy on the show hasn’t thought about being “The Bachelor”? Then again, what guy who hasn’t been on the show hasn’t thought about being “The Bachelor”? Justin really can’t ever be sent home because his facial expressions are just too good. I’m still trying to figure out how Katie’s skin tone on her hands and face are a completely different color. Perhaps an issue at the tanning bed. Bachelor Nation is completely up in arms over Blake’s arrival after all that quality time they put in with Greg the last couple of weeks. This is Blake’s third bachelorette he’s pursuing. This is a Kardashian level type of achievement. If he gets rejected again on National TV again, hopefully that PPP loan everyone is getting from The Bachelor will be used to pay for his therapy. Looking forward to seeing what goes down next.

June 28, 2021

This time the Clippers look like they are in trouble.  After an ugly game 4, the Clippers are down 3-1 in their best-of-seven series against the Suns.  That game was so ugly, if we were going by Lawler’s Law, the game might still be going on.  It’s also apparent that the crime rate in LA goes way up during Clipper playoff games because PG-13 is stealing Steve Ballmer’s money.  Ok fine….PG has had some good playoff games this season, but he’s also had numerous chances to help the Clippers take hold of this series.  Saturday night was also the 11th playoff game of his career where he shot 25% or worse.  Only Bob Cousy and Tommy Heinson have more.  I also can’t understand why Patrick Beverly and Luke Kennard can’t combine for more than a couple of baskets when making almost $30 mill combined this year.  With all that being said though, it’s still an admirable run for the Clippers, who have had their share of injuries to deal with. Steve Ballmer isn’t exactly thrilled with Playoff P though.

Meanwhile the off-season is starting off rough for the Lakers.  Alex Caruso got caught with some pot at an airport, and KCP got robbed at gun point.  Hopefully this isn’t a sign of things to come for the remainder of the summer.  You also shouldn’t be surprised if the Lakers make a call to the 76ers about Ben Simmons.  It makes too much sense since he’s a Klutch Client.  I doubt the Lakers have the pieces to make it happen, but I think the Sixers are going to be very disappointed when they learn that Simmons trade value is about the same as a Happy Meal from McDonald’s at this point.

This Dodgers took 3 of 4 from the Cubs over the weekend, but the season is becoming frustrating to watch.  The Giants and even the Padres don’t seem to be letting up.  However, here’s some perspective: the Dodgers are 47-31.  That still gives them the 2nd best record in the NL, and 3rd best record in baseball with 84 games left.  They’ve also done that with only 7 home runs combined from Cody Bellinger and Corey Seager.  The last week has been especially annoying after getting swept by the Padres, with the Giants continuing to pile up wins.  Still, there’s time, and lots of head-to-head games against both the Giants and Padres. They are only 3.5 games back of the Giants, and their hated rivals are coming to town next.  There’s also no glaring trade deadline need.  They just need to play better and they have the pieces to do that.   I’m usually the one bitching about the Dodgers, but I’m in rare form being positive.  I’m even optimistic that Andrew Friedman’s computer will get a nice software refresh for the 2nd half of the season, so you won’t have to keep bitching about Dave Robert’s decision making.

As for the Angels, so much for thinking they were turning things around. Despite salvaging a win yesterday,  they got thrashed by the Giants and Rays last week, reminding us that they just can’t hang with good teams with or without Mike Trout.  Speaking of those Giants, It’s pretty incredible that a team like that and the Red Sox can go from trash to elite in 1 year, yet the Angels stay consistently trash every single season.  It would be also be nice if Angels media actually asked questions and tried to get answers on questionable moves by the team. I’d like to learn actual insight about some decision making in the organization, not what song Joe Maddon listened to on the ride to the stadium.  This type of media coddling would never happen in the Laker or Dodger locker rooms.

Finally, The Bachelorette is back on ABC tonight. Last week’s episode had it all: gossip, drama, betrayal, unionization, group therapy, and discussions about consent. The faces that Justin makes are priceless. It’s like he’s experiencing his own personal episode of “The Office”. This episode was also a reminder that Pluto isn’t considered a planet anymore, which is upsetting considering most of us were told it was in school. I could tell Karl was going to be annoying just by his face and the fact his name is Karl. I think Thomas is a good guy, but dudes in the house are just salty. At this point I think Greg is either going to win, or be the next Bachelor. Nick Viall showing up was actually pretty funny. If I were the bachelor or the bachelorette, the first people I would eliminate are anybody with duplicate names. I’m not going to sit there for 13 episodes calling somebody “Mark C”. I never really thought Nick Viall’s run on the The Bachelor franchise would would outlast Chris Harrison’s. Also, since when is Nick a licensed therapist? Also, Katie what’s with the suit jacket you showed up with at dinner? Looking forward to next week’s episode.

June 21, 2021

It took 43 years, but the Clippers are finally here: The Western Conference Finals. It doesn’t matter that they lost game 1 to the Suns. Let’s be honest, the Clips have been the punching bag of Jock Talk LA for almost a decade, and the red-headed step child of LA Sports Franchises for four decades. However, no matter what happens against the Suns, they deserve every bit of credit for what they’ve accomplished. It’s safe to say they “Mann-ed” up! Sorry that was too easy. However, the team could have packed it in and booked their flights to Cancun after Kawhi got hurt. Instead, Paul George actually played like the elite player he’s capable of being, while Terance Mann and Reggie Jackson turned into Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen. Also, for those of you that think Ty Lue is just some ex-player that ran to Dick’s Sporting Goods to buy a clipboard and a whistle when Lebron and Kawhi picked him to be their coach, think again. Lue has out-coached both Rick Carlisle and Quin Snyder with his small ball lineups, and made brilliant adjustments after trailing 0-2 in both series. Without Kawhi, they are playing with house money against the Suns. Nobody expects them to win, but don’t be surprised if they do. They hung in yesterday, but Devin Booker was just too much. Still, they are starting to believe in themselves, and frankly, it would almost be weird if they didn’t start this series down 0-2!

Ty Lue made a very “matter of fact” comment regarding the Lakers after the Clippers advanced to the Conference Finals. Lue said “I always look at it differently. I know the Lakers are out and there’s a lot of Laker fans here. But once the Lakers are gone, if we’re not playing the Lakers, you should be cheering for the Clippers because it’s all in one city.” This is not an unreasonable take at all. The problem is, the most die hard NBA fans, including Laker, fans aren’t always reasonable people. NBA fans often cheer for outcomes dictated by their experience with opposing fans they know. So there’s plenty of Laker fans out there that get peeved when their Clipper fan neighbor says “I think this is the Clippers year”. They take it personally, and just want the Clippers to lose. Not because they hate the Clippers, but because they just want to stick it to their neighbor. The is a very common and bizarre NBA fan occurrence. In reality though, it’s inspirational stories like the Clippers overcoming adversity that actually make people want to watch sports.

Elsewhere around the NBA Playoffs, Lebron is going to have a lot of fun with KD, Kyrie, and Harden when he sees them this week in Cancun. The Nets super team was super injured, but props to the Bucks for taking advantage of it and coming up big on the road in game 7. Giannis approaches every free throw stressing like his life is on the line, but nevertheless, he still made some big plays to get the Bucks to the Conference Finals. Ben Simmons disappeared like Emilia Earhar, and Joel Embiid had more turnovers than Betty Crocker, and the Sixers were sent packing, while the Hawks are headed to the East Finals. Also, Dick Vitale needs one of his grand kids to teach him how to use acronyms on Social Media. Either that or he’s been spending too much time on Porn Hub.

To baseball, where we are just a few weeks away from the All-Star break and the Dodgers are playing well. The problem is they are still chasing the Giants for 1st place in the NL West. Other than the “new Dodger Dogs”, this team has no glaring weakness that needs to be addressed at the trade deadline. Sure they could use a bullpen arm here or there, but who couldn’t? They just need to get healthy, and need the Giants to come back to earth, and something tells me they are playing way over their heads and overachieving. All of the solutions to the Dodgers problem are internal. Better approaches at the plate, better situational hitting, and a clean bill of health are what this team needs to repeat. Remember when we thought Kenley Jansen was done? Funny, I don’t hear anybody screaming from the mountain top anymore that he needs to be sent packing. He’s looked like the Kenley of old. They’ve got some big games coming up against the Padres, Cubs, and Giants, so hopefully they take these games just as serious as if it were a pivotal game in September. They count just as much in the standings.

As for the Angels, just when you think they are playing a little bit better and might do something, reality hits that they aren’t going anywhere in the standings. Heading into Sunday, the Halos had won 7 of their last 10, but were still 7.5 games back of 1st place Oakland in the AL West. They are also 6 games back of the Wild Card, and they’d need to climb over 4 teams to get there. I get it’s only June, but this is one of the softest parts of the schedule, the Halos are now .500, but can’t even make up any ground in the standings. The most exciting thing this team has to celebrate is Shohei Ohtani participating in the Home Run Derby. Then again they might not be celebrating come September when he goes in a massive slump like many Derby participants usually do. I also love how Taylor Ward has become a useful player, and suddenly people think the Angels know how to scout. You can’t scout if you don’t have scouts. They would uncover a lot more useful players if Arte Moreno spent some money on player development.

So let me get this straight……Sofi Stadium is now the host of another College Football Glorified consolation game, as I like to call them? It will feature the fifth place finisher in the Pac-12, against the first place finisher in the Mountain West. In this instance, Jimmy Kimmel is putting his name on the game, in what will be a called “The Jimmy Kimmel Bowl”. Well as long as UCLA keeps Chip Kelly as their head coach, they might as well call it “The Jimmy Kimmel UCLA Bowl”.

Finally, the Bachelorette is back on ABC tonight for episode 3 of this season, and last week was filled with drama. On one hand, it was probably very premature to send Cody packing, but on the other hand, Katie saved us from having to deal with two weeks of nonsense drama. Plus, now Cody can go focus on being famous in the zipper sales industry. Katie is really going to miss out on free zippers for life though. I admire Karl and his resilient approach to creating drama, and even giving Katie a tutorial on how to be The Bachelorette. That guy actually gets paid to speak for a living? I would pay just to have him not speak. I love how John was just grinning while getting absolutely demolished in the mud pit. Katie feels like she might pull a Clare and just go home with Greg right now. What exactly are “the right reasons” to be a contestant on The Bachelorette? I wonder if Chris Harrison is actually watching this season. The man is still missed by everyone on every episode. Katie hasn’t done anything wildly unpopular yet, so looking forward to seeing what’s in store next.

June 14, 2021

I’d like to welcome Paul George to the 2021 NBA Playoffs. Nice of him to grace his team with a decent performance before they got sent packing to Cancun. George showed up in a big way on Saturday night Staples Center, helping the Clippers get back into their 2nd round series against the Jazz. To be fair though, the “Pandemic P” label has been warranted. Prior to game 4, George shot 35% in his previous 4 playoff games, and just 31% from 3. He’s also had 10 career playoff games in which he’s shot 25% or worse on 15 or more attempts. Over the last 60 postseasons, no other player has recorded more than 7 such games. That makes Pandemic P more dangerous than COVID-19. If the Clippers can get the PG they got on Saturday night, they are a legitimate threat to make it to the NBA Finals, not just get out of this round. The Clippers know what they are getting from Kawhi, but other than that, it’s a crap shoot from night-to-night. They don’t have much margin for error left though, against the best team in the regular season, so they better hope PG shows up again tonight.

As for the Lakers, they are still making headlines after getting eliminated in the 1st round by the Suns. I will never understand the obsession with Jason Kidd as a head coach. Kidd is still on the Lakers staff as a top assistant, and mostly because Lebron wants him there. He is also wanted in Portland by Damian Lillard. They Blazers don’t want him though, and prefer Chauncey Billups, which is why Kidd withdrew his name from the process. He’s probably going to withdraw his name from the Nuggets job too after watching them play this weekend. In all seriousness though, there is no other team in the league that will hire him as a head coach, yet somehow his name stays out there because a few players like him. He didn’t have much success as a head coach in either of the two stints he had with the Nets and Bucks. It’s a phenomenon I will never understand. I will also never understand Montrezl Harrell’s instagram. He wrote a classy and lengthy post that thanked the Lakers and their fans, but it’s hard to know if this is goodbye or not.

It was a rough weekend for the Dodgers. Despite taking 2 of 3 from the Rangers and inching closer to 1st place, the injuries are piling up again. Max Muncy has been an MVP candidate, but he is now on the injured list with an oblique strain. Cody Bellinger missed the last two games with an injured hamstring as well. Thank god for the garbage time home runs though from Albert Pujols. There’s nobody I’d rather have at the plate in the 7th inning and beyond with the game completely decided, and nobody on base. The guy turns into Babe Ruth at that point, and seems like all his Dodger home runs have come then. The Giants aren’t going away though and neither are the Padres. On a different note however, Clayton Kershaw was brilliant on Friday. He really doesn’t get enough credit for still being great, because he was so brilliant at his peak. That’s how good he is.

Meanwhile, the Angels are suddenly 19-14 since releasing Albert Pujols, and over .500 for the season. As I said last week, this is the time for them to bank wins because their schedule is softer than tissue paper. This past week has also seen the lowest spin rates of any week this season in the MLB, resulting in strikeouts being down, and batting averages being up. It’s been so wild, even the Angels are hitting with Mike Trout out of the lineup! I don’t know if the Angels can keep this up with Oakland, San Francisco, the Rays, and Yankees coming up next. However, with Mike Trout coming back and the pitching looking a little better for now, there’s always some hope.

Finally, the season Premiere of The Bachelorette went down last night on ABC. I like how all 28 guys thought there was no way a dude in a cat costume, Conner, and a dude hiding in a box, James, were going to impress Katie. By the end of the night, they were ready to go buy their own costumes, and wish they could put James back in the box. Then there was the necklace that was made of pasta. “It’s not real gold, it’s just pasta” has to be the line of the season that can’t be topped. Greg seems to be the fan favorite early on though, at least in the court of public opinion. Of the seven dudes that got eliminated, I’m thankful we don’t get to learn about Jeff’s background as a “Skin Salesman.” Bad move with the RV. You’ve gotta love that moment when Tayshia said she “loves a guy in a truck”. Imagine what Zach was thinking, watching the premiere at home. It was a great first episode, but I’m not going to lie, it’s just not the same without Chris Harrison. The girls did a great job as co-hosts, but Harrison was symbolic of the entire franchise. Looking forward to seeing what this drama beings next week.

June 7th, 2021

Don’t over think it people. The Lakers best players weren’t healthy enough for them to defend their title. It’s as simple as that. Anthony Davis had been falling apart all season long, and Lebron James couldn’t dominate like he usually does because of his ankle. It’s not about father time catching up with Lebron. It’s also not even about Anthony Davis being too injury prone. It’s about having the shortest off-season in NBA history, and not enough time to recover. Sure the Lakers could use more shooting. Sure they could use another shot creator. Sure Anthony Davis could work on his body. However, don’t lose sight of what this was about: lack of health and lack of time to recover. In the meantime, between now and the start of the season, Laker fans can fantasize about trading a couple of bags of chips, some expired cans of soda, and hand sanitizer for Damian Lillard or Bradley Beal. I’m sure there will be changes, but don’t expect anything of that magnitude this off-season. That’s perfectly fine because this team should still contend.

The Clippers were not going to let it happen. No way were the Clippers going to let themselves lose game 7, and then be subjected to all-time levels of slander on Monday Morning Coffee. The Mavericks gave the Clippers a hell of a series. However at some point the home team was due to win, and it makes perfect sense that it was going to happen in game 7, when 80% of home teams win. Props to Kawhi and even Paul George for stepping up when they needed to. Also props to Tim Hardaway Jr, who’s beard and jump shot were both immaculate in this series. If Luka Doncic just gets a little bit more help, the Mavs can win an NBA Championship. It would help if Kristaps Porzingas weren’t a more expensive 7’3 Kyle Kuzma. As for the Clippers though, they survived, but they are going to have to come up even bigger against a tough Utah Jazz team if they plan on making it to their first conference final in franchise history.

The Dodgers had a tough time with the Atlanta Braves over the weekend. The Boys in Blue might be one of the better teams in the NL right now, but they have two big problems that won’t go away: the Giants and the Padres. I realize there is still a lot of baseball left to be played, but given the Dodger injuries and their inconsistencies at the plate, there is a very realistic scenario where the Dodgers are in a one-game playoff on the road against the Giants or Padres. If I earned a dollar for every time Albert Pujols hit a meaningless home run after the 7th inning, I feel like I would be as rich as Pujols right now. This is exactly why the Dodgers offense is so deceiving. They lead the league in runs per game, but their situation hitting is keeping them out of 1st place in the NL. Up next is a 3-game set at the Pirates, where they’ll try to get back in the win column.

The Angels had a so-so series against the Mariners over the weekend, splitting a four-game set. It’s now or never for this team. They began last week with a stretch of 17 games against teams that are a combined 17 games under .500. The Angels began yesterday 7 games back of 1st place in the AL West. There’s some signs of life with their pitching and bullpen. However, now Anthony Rendon looks like the new Albert Pujols. He’s got as bad of a contract as Albert did, and now he’s hitting exactly like Albert. With Rendon slumping and Mike Trout out of the lineup, even against in a stretch of weaker opponents there is no margin for error. If the Angels don’t make up ground before the end of the month, they might as well start booking their ski trips for the winter.

Who really paid $50 for that Floyd Mayweather v Logan Paul fight last night? I streamed it illegally and I still want my money back. Who knew that there was a difference between Logan Paul and Jake Paul? We saw what happened the last time Floyd fought a non-boxer in Conor McGregor, yet many of you took the bait anyway. Paul was ready to go back to making YouTube videos after the 1st round. Of course that fight ended in “a draw”. Floyd could have ended it anytime. I’ve seen him exert more effort walking around his club on a Sunday night. Somebody please bring heavyweight boxing back to life because we desperately need it instead of these gimmicks!

Finally, are you ready to watch a live train wreck on TV? That’s right folks. A new season of The Bachelorette premieres tonight on ABC. The Bachelorette will be Katie Thurston, who was a big fan favorite that got eliminated early in the last season of The Bachelor. That season ended up being a lost cause for The Bachelor himself. I’m sure like every season, we’ll go into it with high hopes, end up criticizing The Bachelorette once we find out she’s far more flawed than we anticipated. Then we’ll be completely unsatisfied with the ending. We’ll then vow that we’ll never watch it again. Of course we’ll be back to watch the next season after that. Rinse and repeat right? Not sure how we just keep getting sucked in.

May 31st, 2021

Here we are one week later, and it feels like the Lakers health and their season is going down the drain. For a moment it felt like the Lakers were going to take a commanding lead against the Suns, and finish them off. Then Anthony Davis got hurt again, in typical Anthony Davis fashion. Now the Lakers are now tied with the Suns 2-2, headed back to Phoenix for game 5. The Lakers can’t make a 3-point shot if you locked them in the gym all day. That means their whole offense has been dependent on AD and Lebron getting in the paint and dominating. When that doesn’t happen the Lakers chances of winning are about as good as Donald Trump reversing the results of the Presidential Election. If AD is out for any one of the next three games, the Lakers can start booking their vacations to Cancun, because there will be no repeat and they will not get out of this series. That looks like a very realistic possibility. On a different note, given how annoying Jae Crowder has been in this series, they might need to re-shoot Space Jam 2 making Lebron fight against Crowder.

As for the Clippers, despite all the jokes and slander they’ve been receiving the last few days, they managed to tie their series with the Mavs at 2-2. Tip your cap to Kawhi and PG. They stepped up and made sure I couldn’t say anything bad about them in this edition of Monday Morning Coffee. However, I love the fact that last year everyone said the Clippers would have lost if Kristaps Porzingas had played. Now everyone is saying the Clippers would have lost if Kristaps Porzingas has not played! Porzingas has suddenly looked like Kwame Brown in this series, while Luka Doncic feels like he’s going 1-on-5, and actually doing a decent job of it. Nevertheless, the Clips have some issue here and there, but I like their chances to finish off this series in 6 games now that they have a bit of confidence back.

Elsewhere around the postseason in the Association, the Hawks have way too much fire power and are up 3-1 against the Knicks. Tom Thibodeau was coaching a lot better when he had his mask on. Lou Williams for sure celebrated at the strip club with some Lemon Pepper Wings last night. The Celtic fans packed the building yesterday, just in time to see their team get eliminated from the postseason by the Nets. The Heat won as many playoff games this season as you and I did. The Jazz fans are about to celebrate with some ginger ale after shoving the Grizzlies to the brink of elimination. Joel Embiid looks like he stopped drinking Shirley Temples since he has the 76ers on the verge of the 2nd round. Joker vs Dame is like watching a heavy weight fight that is too good to take your eyes off of!

Just when it seemed like things were looking up for the Dodgers, the Giants come to town and torpedo them in 3 of the 4 games. Friday’s game really hurt with Albert Pujols getting robbed of the game-winning home run in the 9th inning. Saturday and Sunday, neither the pitching nor the offense showed up. The pitching part is a rarity. However, the offense can’t hit water if it fell out of a boat. The Boys in Blue are terrible with runners in scoring position. There’s so much talk about why David Price isn’t their 5th starter, and whether or not they should trade for Max Scherezer, but the reality of it is they need to change their approach at the plate. Their situational hitting is awful, and that’s not going to change if they just keep sitting back and waiting for 3-run homers. It looked like the Dodgers had a new sense of urgency with Albert Pujols on the team. However, that urgency is just their rush to the post-game spread before fat Albert eats all the food.

The Angels managed to split a four-game set with the A’s over the weekend. Alex Cobb finally put together a couple of really nice starts that made him look like the ace he was last year. Hard to imagine him keeping the momentum going though. Of bigger concern right now is whether Anthony Rendon is going to live up to his $245 million contract. He’s got another 6 years left on it, and thus far, his slash line is only .228/.315/.342. Justin Upton stinks too, hitting just .201 and owed another $20 million next year. Yes we know the Angels are desperate for pitching. However, if their big money players aren’t living up to their contracts, then all hope is definitely lost for this group. Then again, all hope was probably lost when Arte Moreno started making reckless decisions years ago.

UCLA Basketball fans are bracing themselves for the possibility of losing a handful of players. The latest is that Codey Riley is now going to be joining Johnny Juzang, and Chris Smith, who are all putting their name in the NBA draft. I have no problem with any of these guys putting their names in to get feedback, but not a single one of these dudes should go pro. If they do, they have agents who can probably sell them some ocean front property in Kansas. Juzang is the highest rated of any of these three prospects, and at best, he’s projected as a late 2nd round pick. If he comes back to school, he’s going to get a huge role on one of the best teams in the country, and scouts are actually going to know who he is this year, unlike last year. Same goes for Riley and even Smith, who can’t workout until September because of his knee injury. I would argue that even if these guys are in a financially desperate situation, their earning power will be far greater by waiting one more season. Then they would potentially all become 1st round picks and have guaranteed contracts. Not to mention, UCLA will be pretty damn good with all of these guys coming back.

Finally, in the NFL, Julio Jones is on the trade block. Anytime you hear a name like Julio Jones, you can bet the Rams are in involved. Yes I know, I realize that Mike Florio reported yesterday that the Rams are out of the chase for Jones. I’ll believe that the Rams are out the day I hear that Kim Kardashian is no longer interested in dating African American men. However, we know that Jones wants to go to the Rams, and that Les Snead is a pretty good negotiator. Even for a team with no upcoming 1st round picks or salary cap space, the same can be said for many other teams chasing Jones. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if the Falcons came back to the table to negotiate a deal with the Rams. Plus, the Rams might have a talented group of wide receivers, but they don’t have a dynamic deep threat like Jones, who can take the top off of defenses. That’s a much needed weapon in Sean McVay’s system. Florio also qualified his report by saying the Rams are only out “for now”.

May 24, 2021

The Lakers limped into the 1st round of the playoffs yesterday, and they looked like hell in game 1 against the Suns. Devin Booker dropped 34 points on them, while Lebron and Anthony Davis looked like they haven’t played basketball in months. If you hold your opponent to 99 points, you should win, but the Lakers 3-point shooting is awful, and the offense is non-existent. If you played a drinking game where every time AD fell on the floor you took a shot, you would likely be in the hospital before the game ended. Everyone obviously wants to focus on Andre Drummond and the fact he probably is playing too many minutes, but even if he is, the reality is that AD needs to play better and dominate DeAndre Ayton inside. He really needed Kwame Brown to give him a pep talk in the huddle. More on that in a few moments. I don’t expect the Lakers to have any answers for Devin Booker, but they don’t need to. If Lebron and AD are healthy and playing like they are capable of, this series should be over in no time. That health part is something I question minute-by-minute at this point though.

Meanwhile, the Clippers also lost game 1 of their 1st round series to the Mavericks on Saturday afternoon. Maybe the Clippers should start printing “We Don’t Believe” T-Shirts for their fans. I don’t think the Clippers played that poorly in game 1. Luka was amazing, but the Mavs just made 3-point shot after 3- point shot. I have my doubts that’s going to happen 3 more times in this series. I can’t even make fun of Paul George because he didn’t play badly in game 1 either. The Clips will probably be ok, but their crowd was pathetic for a playoff game. So pathetic that they needed cardboard cutouts to fill the most premium seats. That’s not much of a homecourt advantage for them to feel good about. Then again by losing this series, the Clippers probably figure that’s another way they can dodge the Lakers.

I have to give credit to Kwame Brown for lighting everyone up the way he is on social media. This guy has been criticized like crazy for over a decade, and now he’s been going after EVERYONE. Everyone from Matt Barnes, Stephen A Smith, to Chris Broussard and Rob Parker. And he’s making it personal! I disagree with Kwame on the idea that he’s not a bust, because he was a bust relative to expectations as a number 1 draft pick. However, the amount of ridicule he has gotten for so long is over the top, and he’s right to finally push back. Here’s some good laughs Kwame will give you from his take on Matt Barnes.

To baseball where the Dodgers swept the Giants over the weekend to inch closer to 1st place in the NL West. If there was a mercy rule in baseball, we would have seen it over the weekend. It’s ok Giants fans. At least Scott Kazmir has great hair. After a stretch of struggles, the Boys in Blue have now won 7 straight and 9 of their past 10. Although the offense is still a little sluggish at times, the pitching has been lights out. Now reinforcements are on the way with Cody Bellinger and Zach McKinstry coming back from injury in the next few days, and Tony Gonsolin not far behind them. Now the Dodgers head to Houston to take on those cheating Houston Astros.

As for the Angels, they salvaged a victory yesterday to snap a 3-game losing streak. However, there’s not much to feel great about with this club. Mike Trout is now out for two months with a calf strain, and we are reminded on a daily basis of what hot garbage their pitching is. Since 2010, the Angels haven’t drafted a pitcher that has given them more than 100 innings in a season. I’m sure it’s no coincidence that they haven’t won a playoff game in that time either. The sad part is that the Oakland A’s just came to town and reminded them how successful they have been both developing and acquiring pitching. It’s not even June yet and the Angels are already 7.5 games out of 1st, in last place in the AL West, and it’s not an unreasonable question to ask if the team should start tanking. On June 17th, the Angels plan on allowing a full capacity of fans into the stadium. However, they really should change their policy to having all those fans wear paper bags over their head so nobody can see the embarrassment they have been on the field.

Speaking of embarrassing, that’s how Kings GM Rob Blake must feel after his veteran players called him out. Drew Doughty just said “there’s no point in waiting for prospects to develop”, and that the Kings have guys still in their prime that can win now. Doughty has a point since the Kings have $20 million in cap space and boat loads of prospects. The Kings could easily sign a couple of reasonably priced free agents, and still keep all their prospects. I’m not sure if Rob Blake understands what $20 million can buy him, but he should be able to put a playoff team on the ice with that. I’m beginning to think Blake is really a millennial, because he is building a team that will win nothing more than participation trophies every year.

Finally, the Summer Olympics are coming up in a couple of months in Tokyo, but it’s headed toward disaster. 60-70% of Japanese citizens do not want the games to be held, and only 3% of their population is vaccinated. As usual, the IOC is more useless than Clay Helton, and refuses to be flexible. There are other countries in the world, The United States being one, that could be ready to host the Summer Olympics in a matter of days and weeks. Instead, Japan won’t even allow any tourists into the country for the games. It’s not fair to the athletes to cancel the games either, since they’ve all been training their entire lives for this, and many will not get another opportunity. The right thing to do is to move the games to a reasonable place with existing infrastructure, that has a handle on COVID, and world class security. It’s hard to expect a corrupt organization like the IOC to understand this concept though.

May 17, 2021

This Laker postseason is going to be a bumpy ride folks. They will host the Warriors on Wednesday night at Staples Center for the right to claim the 7th seed in the Western Conference, and it feels like they are holding their health together with super glue. Lebron’s ankle nearly gave out last night, and feels like it could give out again any moment. Anthony Davis makes you hold your breath every time he hits the floor. On one hand, the Lakers need the game reps to get their act together. On the other hand, Steph Curry could go off for 50 points, Anthony Davis could slip on some nacho cheese and get hurt, and the Lakers would be on the verge of elimination. I’m not so sure this team is ready for playoff caliber basketball, as talented as they are, but we’ll find out in a few days. At least they don’t have to face the Clippers or Jazz until round 3 at best if they take care of business Wednesday, and the Lakers have more favorable matchups on their side of the bracket. Nevertheless, the Lakers are faced with a must-win on Wednesday, which I never thought I would say before the actual post season begins.

Then there was the gamesmanship of the Clippers, who ended up with the 4th seed in the West, and will face the Mavericks in the opening round. The Clippers have owned the Mavs, so they’ve gotta be pleased with that. Considering how they rested everybody in the last two games, the Clippers really managed to perfect this tanking thing, as did Denver. All joking aside, the bottom line is going to be how healthy Kawhi Leonard and Paul George are going to be, and if they are ready to deliver in the postseason. That’s a bigger deal no matter who the Clips run into in the postseason.

On Saturday, Kobe Bryant was inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame, among several other all-time greats: Tim Duncan and Kevin Garnett. I was once again amazed by the poise and grace of Vanessa Bryant to speak about her deceased husband and daughter. It’s been 16 months since Kobe and Gigi tragically passed away, but it’s something that feels like we’ll never get over, and never understand. However, if there’s one thing that has never been more clear, it’s that Kobe’s legacy resonates stronger than ever, and his determination and work ethic inspires people around the world everyday. On a separate note, I uncovered this video of Kobe and Tim Duncan from way back in the day over the weekend, and I never realized that Tim Duncan had this much personality!

To baseball, where Andrew Friedman’s computer must have some kind of a virus. What other explanation could there be for signing Albert Pujols last week? Yes, the Dodgers have injuries, and yes they need some right-handed pop in their lineup. However, for a team that prides itself on analytics, adding one of the worst players in baseball according to analytics blows my mind. Considering that the cost of signing Pujols was roughly the amount of money you could find in your couch, it’s low risk, but I just don’t see the fit. On the field however, the Dodgers are still having problems. Corey Seager is the latest big name to get added to the injured list, and despite taking 2 of 3 from the Marlins, they are still chasing both the Giants and Padres in the NL West. There’s still lots of time, but the Dodgers need to think about how to manufacture runs on a consistent basis, rather than waiting around for home runs.

As for the Angels, they picked up a dramatic win yesterday against the Red Sox, but they are still in bad shape. Remember when we thought the pitching was holding up? Well almost two months into the season the starters have the worst ERA in the big leagues. Their bullpen is equally atrocious, ranked just 27th in the leagues, and blowing half of their save opportunities. Dylan Bundy was supposed to be the ace of the staff, and instead he looks more like a joker, sporting an 0-5 record and an ERA that is inflating faster than an Aerobed. It’s really a shame that Shohei Ohtani can’t start every five days because he’s easily the team’s best pitcher, and they need his arm more than his bat. There’s still plenty of time left in the season, but you would think the Angels are ready to tank with the way things are going. At least you have Shohei to entertain you.

To the NFL, where the Rams schedule was released last week. On paper, this sets up for a nice double digit win season, starting off with a Sunday Night Opener at home against the Bears. I do feel bad for Jared Goff, who is going to have Aaron Donald in his jock strap come Week 7 when the Rams host the Lions. That Green Bay game in October also might not be so intimidating knowing that Aaron Rodgers might be filing for divorce from the Packers before then. The only thing the Rams should be scared off are those terrible looking pajama uniforms they always seem to wear in prime time games.

Meanwhile, the Chargers were gifted a fairly below average schedule by the league. This team need about as much charity they can get because they have worse luck than someone who broke a mirror. The Ravens, Chiefs, and Washington are the only playoff teams from last year the Bolts play on the road. If they win the games they are favored in, they should be a wild card team. That statement feels almost laughable though, considering how many winnable games the Chargers have blown the last few years. It’s become so comical though, you’ve gotta think their due to win some of these close games right? Right? I know you’re still laughing.

May 10, 2021

I’m not saying this Laker season is turning into a total disaster, but last week Anthony Davis actually got hurt running into courtside signage. The Lakers won yesterday, and Davis is looking better, but the Lakers are running out of time to get healthy, get in playoff form, and get their chemistry right. With only 4 games left in the regular season, that sounds like too tall of a task, even for someone as great as Lebron James. James might be coming back tomorrow or Wednesday, but who knows what kind of form he will be in. I’m sure Laker fans have been trying to figure out how to donate their ankles to Lebron. On the other hand though, the Lakers might really want to be in the play-in tournament. As scary as it sounds, they need more games to get in playoff form, and would probably fare better as the 7th seed against the Suns, as we saw last night. Plus they wouldn’t have to face the Clippers in round 1 either, and I’m pretty sure neither team wants to face each other that early. Frank Vogel and Ty Lue probably had dinner at Nobu over the weekend to scheme on how to avoid each other for the first couple of rounds.

Meanwhile, the Clippers look like they are going to get the third seed. That’s good for them, but I still can’t believe what Ty Lue said about Paul George, after he went 5-21 against Denver. Lue said it’s “a good sign, because if he keeps missing, he’s not afraid to keep shooting. So we’re going to need that from him going down the stretch.” Don’t worry Ty, if history is any indication, you’re going to get plenty more of those 5-21 shooting performances down the stretch from “Playoff P”. Don’t bother putting the ball in the hands of Kawhi or anything. Kawhi might not be completely healthy yet, but the Clippers better hope he will be in the next two weeks.

The Dodgers are doing a really nice job of paying tribute to all the adulterers out there this season. They never make contact, and they never come home. This weekend against the Angels was hardly a series to feel good about. They got blown out in one game, nearly blew a 13-0 lead in another, and hit like little leaguers yesterday. The bullpen looks atrocious, and the offense is feast or famine, and it’s typically been famine. I fail to understand why there is an unwillingness to take more pitches, play small ball, hit and run, and do more of the little things to manufacture runs. If Friedman and Roberts are just going to sit around and wait for this team to start hitting three-run homers again, this team isn’t going to get back to where they were last year. At this point, I’m beginning to wonder if Clayton Kershaw is the teams best hitter. It’s early, but things are looking bad.

Then there’s the Angels, who released Albert Pujols last week. The Halos released a guy who was batting .198, who might actually be 50 years old (I still need to see the birth certificate to be convinced), yet some of you think this was disrespectful. Pujols didn’t want to be a bench player, and that’s the best the Angels could offer him. Jared Walsh is a better everyday option. Pujols is a Hall of Famer and one of the best right-handed hitters ever. However, he was never the best player on the Angels at any point in the last decade, and hardly an average Major League Player for about half the contract. A contract that paid him $240 million, and a waste of a decade for the Halos, who never even won a playoff game with him. Just think of the opportunity cost after they paid $365 million for Pujols and Josh Hamilton. This isn’t the NBA. You can’t win with a couple of stars. Hopefully a decade later the Halos have put this in perspective, but based on the lack of pitching and their position near the bottom of the AL, I’m not so sure.

I had the privilege of attending the Canelo Alvarez vs Billy Joe Saunders fight on Saturday night at AT&T Stadium in Dallas. Never had I been to a live boxing fight before, so I wasn’t sure what to expect but I was not disappointed at all, especially getting the opportunity to sit ring side for Canelo’s 8 round KO victory. It was a Las Vegas like atmosphere with a crowd of over 70,000 people. Canelo is probably the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world at this point. I’m sure Si’s Chris Mannix would agree, who provided coverage the entire weekend. Mannix had some microphone trouble though during his post fight interview with Canelo. The mic was so bad, it was actually worse than his NBA takes, which really surprised me. I didn’t think anything could be worse than that.

May 3, 2021

The Lakers seem determined to make things very stressful for themselves and their fans. Lebron and AD are back on the court, but they don’t look healthy, neither is Dennis Schroeder, and there’s only 8 games left in the regular season. They don’t seem to care about seeding as much as their fans do. However, they should. The Lakers don’t want to be in the play-in tournament. Anything bad can happen in one game. They also don’t want to play the Clippers in the 1st round. That means their margin of error is slim, which is a problem when they are playing these games like they are 5 pm scrimmages at Equinox. Frank Vogel is also tinkering with lineups in these games like he’s playing NBA 2K on PlayStation. Buckle up Laker fans. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

The Clippers have suddenly slipped to the 4th seed after losing three straight games, including Saturday night against the Nuggets. Weren’t the Nuggets supposed to lose games after Jamaal Murray went down? Instead, Nikola Jokic has gone into beat mode and they are up to the third seed. The Clips are also probably trying to avoid the Lakers in the 1st round like we’re all trying to avoid getting COVID. The good news for the Clips is that Rajon Rondo and DeMarcus Cousins are suddenly playing like they entered a time machine and got five years younger. The bad news is that the CDC still does not recommend wearing any Clippers gear in public, even once you are fully vaccinated.

The NFL Draft went down over the weekend and I don’t really understand the Rams draft strategy. Their 2nd round pick was on an undersized receiver they could have had 50 picks later. Another one of their picks was on a player who you can’t even find in a Google Search. I was also a little bit surprised the Rams didn’t draft even a single offensive lineman in 9 picks. I’m not saying that Les Snead doesn’t know what he’s doing, because clearly he does, but it’s almost like he just shrugged his shoulders at the entire draft process and said “whatever”.

Then there’s the Chargers. Watching their draft was like watching the Bizarro World episode of Seinfeld. You would expect the Chargers to find a way to screw up their draft, but on paper, the Bolts look like they had one of the best drafts of anyone. They beefed up their protection for Justin Herbert, and beefed up multiple areas of their defense. Unfortunately, the Chargers don’t play on paper, they play on a football field where they haven’t been able to win close games. Whether or not that changes seems like it has less to do with talent at this point, or more to do with execution.

Elsewhere around the NFL Draft, Aaron Rodgers wants to be traded to the 49ers, and it’s probably because he just likes tormenting Matthew Stafford. Speaking of Rodgers, at the Kentucky Derby he was dressed like a guy who was there to arrest Tom Brady. When you start running down the picks, Justin Fields could single handedly get 8 GM’s fired if he’s really good. The Bucs took Kyle Trask so he could be the heir to Tom Brady. He should be able to learn from Brady for the next 10 years before taking over. Mac Jones walked up to the stage to be drafted by the Patriots like he was the branch manager at a bank coming to deny you a small business loan.

To baseball where things are not great for the Dodgers right now. They have so much talent but they are playing like a men’s softball team after a long weekend in Reno. This team just isn’t hitting. It’s not helping that Cody Bellinger and Zach McKinstry are out, but not sure what the excuse is for Max Muncy, Gavin Lux, and Corey Seager right now. These guys are allergic to hitting with runners in scoring position. Even worse is the fact that the bullpen is missing David Price and Tony Gonsolin, which isn’t helping their cause hanging on to leads in the past week. This can only be explained by “The Curse of The Dodger Dog”. The Dodgers have gone away from serving Farmer John Hot Dogs for the first time in ages, which must have something to do with this slump!

As for the Angels, they are still hovering around .500, but Mike Trout might be the best version of himself we’ve ever seen. As insane as that sounds, entering Saturday, Trout had a slash line of .425/.523/.781, which has not been achieved over a month stretch since 2008. That’s remarkable, but the Halos pitching has not been for the past two weeks. The starting pitching has felt like it’s been held together with chicken wire and duct tape in the first couple of weeks, and it’s already coming apart. The good news is that the division isn’t that great, so the Angels might be able to hang in there.